Title: Everything Author: Philiater E-Mail: philiater1@yahoo.com Category: MSR Rating: NC-17 Note: My very first. **Please forgive the quotation marks. I had a terrible time with the smart quotes*** Spoilers: takes place post Never Again. This is for Gail on the IWTB list Disclaimers: Not mine, never were. They belong to CC and Company. Feedback:philiater1(nospam)@yahoo.com (leave out the no spam) *************************************** He's hurt. I could tell by the way he looked at me and tried to conceal it behind a wall of humor. I wanted to tell him it wasn't about the desk or anything else inside our cluttered office. But when I said not everything was about him, it only served to hurt him more. There's no sport in hurting Mulder; it's too easy to do. He didn't understand my need to take off without him, or having my skin decorated without his permission. We are partners in many things, but not all things. We sat in the office until the sun went down, not speaking or moving. He pretended to read a file, and I didn't pretend to do anything at all. I stared at a spot on the wall mentally rehashing my meeting with Ed Jerse, and subsequent disaster of a date. Perhaps being on the x-files for this long has clouded my judgment in a tragically funny way. I can only attract men for whom an x-file is the inevitable outcome; conspiracy theories and demonic possession serving as foreplay. I didn't hear him when he asked if I wanted to have dinner. When he asked me a second time I looked into his eyes. A dull ache began to grow in my heart because I saw something in him that surprised me. Fear. Fear of losing me? I couldn't begin understand it because I knew losing him was out of the question. Was he so insecure that he believed it was a possibility? He looked like a little boy waiting patiently for me to answer, as if a negative reply would crush him. Truthfully I'd rather have gone home and gone to bed, but something told me if I didn't do something I really could lose him. 'Let's go to my place and order in.' He smiled then, a beautiful smile that lit up his whole face, and I felt that little catch in my chest again. Suddenly the idea wasn't such a bad one after all. When I opened the door to my apartment, I felt staleness in the air, the same musty sensation that caused me to seek out Ed in the first place. But when Mulder entered behind me the feeling dissipated like fog on a sunny morning. 'Do you want Chinese or pizza?' He didn't answer me and before I could turn around I felt a warm hand pressed against my back. Just a hand, but it was enough to halt any movement or thought I had. 'Let me see it Scully.' His voice was soft and needful. 'What?' 'The tattoo.' I knew he'd seen pictures of it as part of the x-file he'd prepared about me, but he wanted a more personal look at the physical manifestation of my temporary madness. I felt my breath quicken just a little, and looked back at him over my shoulder. His eyes had changed again; from child-like sorrow to adult desire. I wondered if my eyes echoed that same need. Quietly I remove my suit coat and pulled the ends of my blouse out of my skirt. I undid the two bottom buttons, but my hands started to shake. I couldn't understand the sudden flood of emotion his request unleashed in me. I felt tears that were bottled up threaten to spill out. He put a reassuring hand over my clenched fingers and slowly raised the edge of my blouse with the other. I could feel him study it silently, forming his own mute opinion. The flat of his hand came to rest on it, bringing with it an incredible heat. It was as if he were trying to take part of it into him, using his palm as a heat transfer. When I began to shake again, he pulled me back against him, wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. My breathing became more erratic when he kissed my neck, his mouth open and so warm on my skin. Behind my ear he uttered my name in a harsh voice filled with desire. 'Scully.' That one word was enough to send an electric shock through my body and I felt warm wetness between my legs. He turned me around and kissed me with the same inconceivable heat that had been in his hand. This was far better than what I'd been seeking to find with Ed. It felt so true, so right I didn't question it. I broke the kiss, and pain clouded his eyes once again. But I took his hand and led him to the bedroom removing those clouds for good. He undressed me with careful gentleness, kissing my skin whenever a new area was revealed to him. He treated me as if I were the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and I touched him with that same reverence. I was gently placed on the bed and he stretched out next to me. He sucked, and teased my nipples until they were hard pebbles in his mouth. I felt like I couldn't stand to wait for him anymore, and urged him over. 'Please. Now.' He hesitated for a moment, searched my eyes for pain or regret. I made sure he'd find nothing of that in the tender gaze I gave him. The penetration was slow and sweet, causing me to gasp. His need to satisfy me came first and my heart burned with the knowledge of it. His thrusts were slow and measured, designed to give me nothing but pleasure. I urged him to quicken the pace when I felt the beginnings of an orgasm build. When I came I felt like every bad thing that had ever happened to me was washed out with it, leaving me clean and whole. He followed soon after, calling my name with bittersweet joy. He held me in his arms afterward, cradled my face in his hands and kissed me with the softest of touches. 'I love you Scully,' he said, and I knew he meant it. He placed his hand over the tattoo again, claiming it as his with a fierce possessiveness. He never should have doubted, and I would make sure he never did again. 'I love you too Mulder.' End****************************** If you think it sucks and I should stay away from MSR for good let me know. I'll gratefully return to SSR. Bonus points to anyone who can spot the quote from a Katherine Hepburn movie.