Title: Fairy Woods II, In the Starlight
Author: Andrea
ardywyn@hotmail.com 
Rating: NC-17

Category: MSR, post-ep for Closure, Scully first person

Spoilers: Thru Closure

Disclaimer: All herein belong to CC et al

Notes: Big thanks to Jemirah for on-demand beta reading and
quality tweaking and to Dan for being Dan

Fairy Woods can be found at ephemeral;
http://ephemeralfic.org/read.phtml?idx=5677
or on my webpage;
http://members.home.net/faloona4/Fairy.txt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been almost an hour since I had told Mulder that there
would be nothing I'd like better than to return to these woods
with him in the starlight. I had barely been able to get the
words out; my throat had been so tight with emotion.

Neither of us had spoken since. Mulder was one of the only people
with whom I could share a comfortable silence. In fact, the only
other person that I could spend time with and only realize later
how few words had been spoken was my mother. I'm not sure if
Mulder found these silences as pleasant as I did, but I never
sensed any tension from him. Whenever Mulder was holding anything
back, he always fidgeted. I had seen it happen with Skinner,
with Kersch, and with many of the local law enforcement officers
that we'd had to deal with.

When we were alone again after such an instance, I usually ended
up witnessing the effects of this holding back. It was never
directed at me, of course, but whenever Mulder did finally let
loose it was explosive and often violent. I can't count how many
garbage cans we'd been through.

He always apologized after these episodes, but I never felt that
it was necessary. I knew when it was coming and I just waited
patiently until he was finished. I had never admitted this to
anyone, but I liked to think that Mulder must feel very
comfortable around me, to be able to vent in front of me. It
might seem trivial to someone else, but to me it proved just how
close we really were.

Mulder had been lying beside me silently staring up at the leafy
canopy above us for so long that I had begun to wonder if he had
been overcome by his lack of sleep. Not being able to tell from
just glancing at him whether or not he had fallen asleep, I
rolled onto my side and raised myself on my elbow so that I could
see his face.

"Had enough?" He smiled softly at me.

"Oh no, not at all," I assured him. "I thought maybe you had
fallen asleep."

"Nope, but I am feeling very well rested," he sighed.

How Mulder could get by on such little sleep amazed me. I was
lucky to have made it through my residency; the ritual sleep
deprivation that we were forced to endure had just about ended
my hopes of becoming a doctor. I had finally learned to sleep
whenever the opportunity arose, though, and Mulder still liked
to tease me about it.

That was another one of the things that made me feel close to
him; the playful way he could be with me. Whenever he withdrew
from me, I would try to remember all of the little things that he
did that made me feel like I was special to him. I wasn't sure
what triggered his moods, but I always waited them out, no matter
how long, knowing that he would come back to me when he was ready.

Mulder had turned onto his side while I was thinking and was
watching me.

"What are you thinking about, Scully?"

"Just wondering how you manage on so little sleep." I told the
partial truth.

"All that thinking was about how much I sleep?" He laughed.

"Well, then that made me think about my residency," I explained.

"Ah, the good old days," he said sagely.

"Hardly," I snorted.

"No fond memories?" He raised his eyebrows.

"A few, I guess," I admitted, "But all in all, chasing cats in a
sewer is a fonder memory for me."

"That bad!" He laughed. "Well, I'm glad that I could make some
better memories for you, but I hope that there are fonder ones
than the sewer cats."

"A few," I tried to tease him, but I couldn't help smiling.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said softly.

A silence fell between us again, but it wasn't the easy silence
we had shared earlier. The air between us seemed to be
crackling with an energy that I had never felt before.
Butterflies sprang to life in my stomach and began to flutter
madly. After a long minute, Mulder broke the quiet.

"Why don't I give you the nickel tour, Scully?"

"I'm happy to do whatever you want to do, Mulder. Don't feel you
have to leave on my account."

"Look, Scully, I dragged you out here. Let me see if I can't
resurrect at least something of your weekend. I want you to have
a good time."

"Did I say I wasn't having a good time?"

"Scully," he whispered, shaking his head. He picked up my hand
and held it gently. "Scully," he repeated softly. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Mulder. I know that I may have
seemed a bit hesitant at first, but you always knew that I'd
come with you, didn't you?"

"I guess I did, but that's not why I was thanking you, Scully,"
he said as he caressed my hand.

"Then why?"

"No one has given me what you give me, Scully," he raised his
eyes from my hand. The butterflies that had made themselves at
home in my stomach seemed to be multiplying and were spreading
rapidly.

"What do I give you, Mulder?" I asked quietly

Before he answered me, he reached up and tucked a strand of my
hair behind my ear, mimicking my own habit.

"I don't know if I could quantify or qualify what you give me,
Scully. It's more than friendship, it's...it's, I don't even know
what to call it. It's like you give me everything I need exactly
when I need it."

"Oh, Mulder," I sighed. He was saying all the things that I
wanted to hear, but I had to get us away from this discussion.
Now was definitely not the time. "Since when was second guessing
you exactly what you needed?"

Mulder grinned at me, "See, you made me smile - exactly what I
needed. And unless you want to ruin your perfect record, it's
time for that nickel tour." Since he was still holding my hand,
when he stood up, he helped me to my feet.

After he'd gathered up the blanket, without releasing my hand,
we left the woods and its dancing shadows and began to make our
way back to the car. It was only mid-morning, but it had already
grown very warm. The meadow was alive with activity. Tiny blue
moths flitted from wildflower to wildflower, insects buzzed in
the grasses and birds chirped and sang and swooped around us.

"It *is* peaceful here," Mulder said, as if agreeing with
something I'd said. "You sighed," he answered the question he
must have seen in my eyes.

"It is peaceful, Mulder. I can't think of a better place to be
this weekend."

He didn't say anything, he only tightened his grip on my hand,
and the rest of the hike back to the car was silent. Then Mulder
did indeed give me the nickel tour; showing me the village and
the surrounding farmland which seemed to be mostly devoted to
dairy farming.

Around 1 o'clock Mulder happened to find one of his "quaint"
diners and we stopped for lunch. While he polished off a burger
and fries, I tried to make up for my unwholesome breakfast by
ordering the so-called diet plate. Mulder apparently found my
cottage cheese and lettuce leaves amusing, and teased me about
bee pollen and yogurt through out most of the meal. But I was
in such a good mood that his teasing couldn't possibly spoil
it, so I just let him have his fun.

Before we left the restaurant, Mulder asked our waitress for
directions to the nearest grocery store. I waited until we got
back to the car to ask why.

"I thought that we could have a picnic," he explained.

"But we just ate."

"Later, Scully, in the woods."

"Oh, okay. That's a good idea, Mulder."

"I do have them occasionally," he laughed.

There was a small hardware store close to the grocery store where
we found a styrofoam cooler. Then we spent almost an hour buying
the groceries for our picnic. Mulder would have forgotten utensils
if I hadn't been there. I also insisted on buying containers for
the vegetables that I was going to cut up for dipping, and
another for the fruit salad I was going to make. We took the
supplies back to our parking spot by the rickety bridge.

I finished making the gourmet veggie dip of sour cream and
onion soup mix and preparing the veggies to go with it. Mulder
and I chatted while I worked, I declined his many offers of
help. When I began to prepare the fruit for the salad, a
concerned look crossed his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Scully. I had no idea it was going to be this much
work for you," he apologized.

"It didn't have to be. We could have bought prepared food, but I
thought this would be better," I explained. "Besides, I'm
enjoying myself. I would've thought by now that you'd know me well
enough to realize that I put up a bit more of a fight when I
don't want to do something."

"Just a bit more of a fight," he nodded in agreement, pursing his
lips. "Although, it's barely perceptible to the untrained eye."

"And, I *thought* I had you well-trained," I looked at him without
raising my head.

"You do, sorry, momentary lapse," he laughed.

Mulder and I continued bantering while I finished the salad and
made the sandwiches. It took me almost two hours to make
everything, but we weren't in any hurry. Mulder felt bad that I
was doing all of the work until he found out that he was going to
be carrying the cooler up to the woods. It was almost six by the
time we got back up to the stand of oaks.

I was surprised to feel that same sense of well being that I had
felt early that morning when we entered the woods the second
time. I had thought that my initial feelings were borne of the
beauty of this pastoral scene, but now I had to wonder what
else could be at work here. It was easy to see why a child might
think it was fairy magic, but I thought it probably had more to
do with the oxygen being generated by the mighty oaks.

After I spread the blanket out again, Mulder set the cooler down,
opened it, and downed one of his iced teas. We both lay back on
the blanket and looked at the trees again. In the afternoon light
they looked different than they had in the morning. The leaves
seemed not only fuller, but a deeper shade of green as well. The
affect of the sun flickering through them was mesmerizing.
We both lay there just staring up at the sky until the rumbling
in my stomach distracted us.

"You could go a little longer between meals if you actually ate
more than yogurt and --"

"Oh, shut up about my lunches, Mulder," I turned and smacked him
on the arm. "If you're not hungry, you don't have to eat, but I'm
starving."

Mulder watched me as I began to pull the food out of the cooler.
Just as I was about to sink my teeth into my sandwich, Mulder
gave in and joined me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not that hungry," he informed me. "It just looks really
good, that's all."

Even though I was ravenous, Mulder outlasted me, finishing almost
everything I'd made, save a couple sticks of celery and a few
slices of Swiss that I'd had leftover from making the sandwiches. I
couldn't help wondering what he must have been like to feed as a
teenager. My parents could barely afford to send me to college
after Bill nearly ate them out of house and home.

After he'd finished his second iced tea, he lay down on the
blanket again, putting his hands behind his head. I collected up
all of our garbage and put it back into the cooler. When I turned
to chastise him for not helping, I found him sound asleep. I felt
sleepy too, but I was determined to stay awake so that I could
wake him when it got completely dark, and that was still a couple
of hours off.

I passed the time by watching him sleep and thinking about what
had happened in the last 24 hours. It seemed to me that Mulder
had finally shown me that one thing he had never let me see
before. I knew all about his sister's abduction and what it had
done to his family. But today he was showing the innocence
that had been stolen from him that day. His family had barely
dealt with the loss of his sister, I doubt it would have occurred
to them that Mulder's childhood had ended then as well. The
Mulders had, in fact, lost two children that day.

Today, I think, Mulder has regained some of what had been taken
from him. Maybe it stemmed from his belief that he at last knew
his sister's fate. Perhaps the freedom that he had found was
allowing him to uncover what he had kept buried for so long.

I, too, was feeling emotions that I had tried to keep buried.
Spending this time with Mulder was stirring up feelings so
quickly that I couldn't tamp them down before they were right
back at the surface again. The serene expression on his face
only intensified the conflict within me.

This was not the right time to be confessing my love to Mulder.
I was having a hard time dealing with the realization that I was
in love with him. How could I expect him to cope with it when he
was still dealing with his grief? If I said anything now, I could
never be sure that his reaction wasn't clouded by other emotions.

As he continued to sleep peacefully, I waged my silent war and
darkness settled around us. When I saw the first star of the
evening blink into existence, I gently shook his shoulder.

"The stars are coming out," I told him softly when he blinked
at me in sleepy confusion.

"I'm sorry, Scully, I didn't mean to fall asleep. Why didn't you
wake me?" He rubbed his eyes.

"I just did," I pointed out, "And before you argue, I thought
that you needed the sleep," I quieted his protest before he
could make it.

The sky was slowly beginning to fill with stars; more stars than
we would ever see under the city lights. Soon a carpet of stars
had spread out against the inky blackness of the night sky. I
still couldn't help thinking that Mulder had chosen an odd
explanation to latch onto, but if it brought him the closure
that he had been seeking for so long, I certainly wasn't going to
question him about it.

The sense of peace that I had first experienced when I climbed
over the stone wall into these woods was slowly becoming more
profound as the starlight began to illuminate us. When I turned
to look at Mulder, I could see that he was feeling the same awe
and wonder that I was. He wasn't grieving, it looked like he was
letting the starlight flow over him and through him.

That any starlight could make it through the canopy amazed me,
yet there it was, however faint, tiny splashes of light on his
upturned face. As we had in the morning, we were silent while
Mulder kept his vigil.

Watching him only gave me more time to reflect on the emotions
that until recently I had kept so deeply buried. The peacefulness
that I was experiencing made me see my love for him even more
clearly. It also made more painfully aware that I would have to
wait to tell him how I felt. I had no idea how much time had
passed before Mulder finally spoke.

"Let's go home, Scully."

"Are you sure?" I asked quietly.

He nodded, "But I would like us to come back again."

"Whenever you want, Mulder. All you have to do is ask."

In no time at all we were back in the car, gear stowed in the
trunk, and Mulder was backing out of the narrow trail. Fighting
fatigue, I forced myself to stay awake, in case Mulder needed to
talk. Finally, I couldn't stifle my massive yawns any longer.

"What are you doing, Scully?" Mulder smiled at me. "Go to sleep."

"I thought you might want to talk," I explained.

"I do, but tomorrow, okay? I slept already, now it's your turn."

I was too tired to argue. Rolling up a sweatshirt to use as a
pillow, I leaned my head against the window and was dead to the
world in no time.

Sunlight assaulting my eyes began my slow ascent into
consciousness, but before I was fully awake, I became very
confused. I was in my bed and I wasn't alone. When we got back
to D.C. Mulder must have carried me to bed and then crawled in
with me. I was still wearing my t-shirt and underwear, but he had
removed my jeans.

The strangest thing of all was how we were sleeping. We were on
our sides - Mulder was spooned up against me, but he had somehow
ended up with his hand under my head, as if he was cradling it.
My ear was in the palm and his fingers were curled in front of my
face, but not touching me, except for one. His baby finger was
resting against my bottom lip.

The urge to kiss his hand was all-consuming, but I fought it and
remained still. Having no idea how much sleep he'd had, I didn't
want to wake him. I wondered if my head was cutting off the
circulation to his hand, so I decided to try to move without
disturbing him. I had barely lifted my head when I became aware
of his other hand. I had been so distracted by the feeling of
his finger against my lip, that I hadn't noticed his hand on my
stomach. As soon as I moved, he pulled me tightly back against
his body.

If I'd thought his finger on my lip was distracting, words
couldn't begin to describe how I felt about was now pressing
against my ass.

"I didn't mean to wake you," his voice was rough with sleep.

"I woke *you*, Mulder. I'm sorry," I apologized.

"That's okay, Scully. I wanted to talk, remember?"

"Now?"

"Please," he whispered.

"Sure. If that's what you want, Mulder."

"It is," he said softly and then fell silent. After what seemed
like an eternity to me he finally spoke. "I'm not sure if there is
a good way to say this, Scully. So, I'm just going to say it.
Please hear me out before you say anything, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, but my heart sank. I feared that Mulder was
going to tell me that he was leaving the Bureau now that he had
resolved what had happened to his sister.

"You know what Samantha's abduction did to my family?" He began
and I nodded. "It tore us apart. It also destroyed every other
relationship that I had; both personal and professional. In my
personal relationships, I was unable to commit. I wouldn't let
myself get close to anyone for fear of losing them as well. I
could explain to myself exactly what I was doing, but that didn't
stop me from making the same mistakes over and over."

I knew precisely what he meant. It was akin to doctors
recognizing symptoms in themselves, but often failing to do what
was necessary to cure themselves. It was true; doctors did make
the worst patients.

"In my professional life," he continued, "I never trusted my
colleagues and eventually I alienated them with my far-out
theories and bizarre behavior. So, I decided to go it alone both
personally and professionally. I figured it wasn't fair to get
involved in another relationship that was doomed to failure. And
for my professional life, I worked better alone, anyway." He
stopped and took a deep breath.

"That all changed seven years ago when a fresh-faced redhead
strode into my office, head held high. I think I fell in love
with you instantly."

I started to say something, but he cut me off. "You said you'd
wait until I was done," he reminded me. I nodded.

"Even though I was drawn to you, I knew starting something would
be a huge mistake, so I did nothing. I came so close to telling
you every time you were returned to me after I thought I had lost
you. I wanted to explain all of this to you, but I was afraid
that I would scare you off. So, I decided to keep my mouth closed
and keep you with me. I hoped that you might somehow understand
all of this implicitly. Then, I finally did confess my love, but
you thought that I was kidding or doped to the gills, didn't you?"

I nodded again, my head was spinning at his confession. A part of
me was shocked, but another part of me felt like I had always
known everything he was telling me.

"There were times, Scully, that I got the feeling that you might
feel the same way, but I will understand completely if you don't.
Just because I think that I am finally ready to make a
relationship work, I don't expect you to welcome this with open
arms. I'm not even positive that you ever shared my feelings, but
if you had, I guess it's possible that you have moved on."

"Can I say something now?" I asked when he finally fell silent.

"Yeah, sorry," he chuckled.

"I haven't moved on, Mulder," I confessed.

"God, Scully," he buried his face in my hair. "I can't believe
that you feel the same way. I can't believe that you... you..."

"That I love you," I interjected.

"I can't believe that you love me after everything that I've put
you through."

"Everything that *we've* been through has only brought us closer
together, in my opinion, Mulder," I told him as I rolled over to
face him.

He reached up and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I can't
believe that you waited for me," he shook his head.

I took hold of his hand, brought it to my mouth, and kissed it
the way I had wanted to earlier. Mulder moaned as I pressed my
lips into his palm. "I think that's enough talking for now, don't
you, Mulder?"

Sliding his fingers into my hair, he closed the space between us
and captured my mouth with his. This was our second kiss and it
was so vastly different from the first that they should have been
known by separate names. His tongue was already deep inside of my
mouth, and I wanted it deeper. As we kissed hungrily, he rolled
me onto my back and covered my body with his. His erection was
pressing against me, but our clothing still separated us. As I
tugged at his t-shirt, he pulled at mine and I giggled into his
mouth. He pulled out of the kiss and removed the offending
articles of clothing and tossed them aside. When he turned back,
he paused and just stared at me.

"God, Scully, I don't want to rush things."

"I wouldn't call seven years, rushing, Mulder," I smiled.

"I mean this, Scully. I want to savor this."

"I don't mean to sound unladylike, Mulder, but there will be
plenty of time for savoring. Right now I need to feel you
inside of me."

"That was hardly unladylike, Scully," Mulder chuckled as he
pushed my bra up off of my breasts. All arguments that I may
have had melted when his hand cupped my breast, and he began to
tease my nipple with his thumb. I could only groan. Soon, his
mouth replaced his thumb multiplying the sensation a hundred
fold. While his lips and tongue assaulted one breast and then
the other, he somehow managed to remove my underwear and his own.

His mouth left my breasts, and he trailed hot wet kisses up to
my neck. I could feel his erection pressing against me again, but
all barriers had been removed and he began to slowly slide inside
of me, but he froze when I gasped.

"Too much? Too fast?" He tried to pull out of me. I clamped my
legs around his butt and held him firmly.

"Mulder, no, it feels incredible - so good," I breathed as I
tried to pull him deeper inside of me. He felt huge to me, but
this wasn't painful in the least. We were both so ready for this,
that he slid into me easily.

"God, Scully," he sighed as he began to take long slow strokes.

"Yes, Mulder. God, yes..." I encouraged him.

"Scully," he whispered as if he was trying to convince himself
that it was really me.

I felt him slide his hand under my ass and lift my hips slightly.
On his next stroke, I felt an amazing new sensation. This minor
adjustment of our position had changed everything. It had felt
phenomenal to have Mulder inside of me - to feel his cock sliding
in and out of me, but now he was stimulating something else. I
felt like I was on fire.

"God, Mulder, faster, please, faster," I begged.

Groaning at my words, he did as I asked and began to thrust
harder and faster. From a part of me that I never knew existed an
orgasm cascaded through me. I clenched around him as I rode it
out.

"So beautiful," I heard him say when I had stopped quaking.

"So good," was all I could manage to say.

Mulder was saying my name over and over and I could feel another
orgasm approaching. As he began to thrust into me even harder,
another orgasm overwhelmed me and this time I felt Mulder
succumb with me.

When the tremors that were racking my body finally subsided, I
opened my eyes to find Mulder gazing down at me.

"I still can't believe that I was lucky enough that you ever
loved me, never mind that you waited for me."

"I guess somewhere deep inside of me I always knew that you would
come to me when you were ready, Mulder. It didn't matter to me
how long it took."

"I love you so much, Scully," he leaned down and kissed me
feverishly.

Rolling onto his side, he continued to kiss my face and my neck
and my shoulders, practically devouring me. His passion had
always been overwhelming, but now that there were no demons left
to compete with, his passion was all mine. It had definitely
been worth the wait.