Title: Innocence Author: SunReyes sunreyes01@yahoo.com Rating: NC-17 Category: DRR Spoilers: Up to Release Summary: John & Monica finally allow themselves to let go and have fun ;) Authors Note: This fic follows "Astray" and takes place directly after the events in Release I've been friends with John since the beginning of his case, and I see how quickly John could lose himself in the past. He's one of the strongest and most dependable people I know, he's the only man I trust with my heart, but he won't allow himself to love again. Or so he's told me. After working on his case, we stayed pretty good friends for the first few years until he went to D.C. to join the FBI. After his transfer we both held back and let things slowly dissipate. I started seeing Brad, and John tried to move on with his life. Three years later, he came back into my life forever. After moving to New Orleans for a transfer, John promised me we would keep in touch, and we did. We called each other on weekends, and exchanged information on cases. He promised me that if an opening ever existed in his division he would pull some strings, and sure enough he did. A little over a year I was working in the New Orleans field office and from time to time I'd come up and help John out on a case here and there. After one FBI agent's dismissal and another's transfer, John was pretty sure we'd be partners. I admit I was scared to death to be partnered with John. Every fear seeped into my mind. What if something happened to him? What if I couldn't protect him? I knew one thing though, I trusted him, an important trait you need within a partner. Apparently when I transferred to D.C. I didn't hear the news that Brad Follmer was the new Assistant Director. He heard that I was in town though and that only made things start out a little shaky. After working together for nearly a year on The X-Files and coming across everything imaginable things started to change. John and myself went out on a date, only to find us awkward at the end of the evening. Both of us being partners, neither one wanted to jeopardize what we had, nor was certain of what the other one wanted. I knew what I wanted, a long lasting relationship with John. I knew it since the moment I laid eyes on him, love at first sight. It's funny really, all my life, I dreamed of it, but it wasn't at all what I expected. Our first three years of knowing each other was entirely based on friendship. The next three sadly lost, while the rest has caught up and allowed our lives to become so much simpler. John and myself are still really close friends, but only now have I realized he's needed something to allow us to move on. He's needed release and closure to his past. He's needed to solve the murder of his son so he can move on with his life and I can move on with him. Now that I'm sitting in the car on the drive back with John, I realize he's found what he's been looking for. He's finally been given what he's wanted for the past nine years, freedom in a sense. He's free of this intense burden to find the killer and serve justice in the world. He's free of his wife and all their entangled problems and now I realize he's free to love again. I want us to be able to move on past the heartache and pain. I want us to become `us' and share everything we've been waiting for. The right time has finally emerged and only now do I see the complications disappear. The excuses vanish and are lives are innocent and sweet. "Monica" John begins on the ride home from the release of his son's ashes "thank you." He tells me and reaches out for me to take his hand in mine. I do and I gently place a kiss in his palm. "Anything for you." I tell him. We continue on our drive back to D.C. The sun setting and the night slowly fading in. Most of the drive back is quiet and I don't want to disturb the peace in the air. I realize he's reflecting on his life and the choices he's made, and he turns to me when we pull up in front of my place. "I miss what we had, that one night, holding you while you slept, I wish we could have lived like that forever." His eyes show so much pain but also a great deal of hope for the future. "Is that a marriage proposal?" I tease. "I thought you weren't getting remarried?" "You know what I mean Mon." John tells me and I sigh. "Yes of course I do. Do you want to come up?" I ask him and he nods. He parks the car, and steps out. Only then do I realize the seriousness of the situation. He comes around to open the door for me. "John" I begin and he presses a finger over my lips. "I feel like a burden has been lifted." "You're still in shock" I tell him and take his hand in mine towards the front door. "I don't feel in shock. I don't feel upset either. I feel like I can finally allow myself to love again." "I don't want us to rush things, for your sake," I say and we enter into my place and I turn on the lights. John takes off his jacket and with tired eyes sits on the sofa. "John, you're tired. Why don't you go to bed, it's been a long day for all of us." "Monica I don't want to lose out on another wasted moment of us. Maybe you're right and tonight isn't the right time, but who's to say when is?" I sit down beside him and give him a hug. He rests his head on my shoulder in our embrace and when we part our faces our mere inches apart. "John I do care about you, more than you'll ever know, but tonight isn't the best time. You can stay here tonight with me if you want, and why don't we let time tell where we'll go from there?" John squeezes me again and whispers into my ear "I love you." I know what he means and I love him too, and soon he'll know for sure. When our hug breaks, John's lips silently kiss my cheek as a thank you and he gently moves across my cheek to my lips. They brush gently and sweetly sending a nice warmth through my skin. I want to devour him, but tonight isn't the time. I wrap my arms around him and whisper into his ear "I love you too, but lets take things one step at a time" and he nods in understanding. We head towards the bedroom, I'm walking backwards and John's pressing light kisses on my cheeks. We step into the bedroom and I help John undress. I slowly move my fingers to his sides and gently pull his shirt up on over his head. I remove his T-shirt too and move in on his belt buckle. I realize we're treading on uncharted waters, and I said we wouldn't do anything tonight, but I'm beginning to think things over. Maybe it would be better for him, have a nice fresh start. I realize that I'm only convincing myself and we can wait, we've waited this long. I want him to be ready for everything that will come his way. I slowly remove John's belt and I can hear him suck in the air and hold his breath. I lightly trail my fingers along his stomach and he laughs and lets out the breath he's been holding. "John it's just me" I tell him and he nods. "Yeah I know, it's just I haven't been with someone in a long time." "Don't worry," I tell him, "there will be plenty of time for fooling around." He laughs and I finish removing his pants and he's left in nice black boxers. I'm kneeling on the bed after removing his clothing and I sit down for John to help me remove mine. His fingers trail up my sides removing my shirt and leaving me with my bra and pants on. He looks down and admires what he sees and I know I've seen that look before. His eyes are hungry, yearning for more, who am I to deny him what he wants? He slowly trails his fingers down my stomach and unzips my pants. I slide out of them and am left in my bra and underwear. John watches me to see what our next step is and I walk on over to the dresser to find something to put on. He comes up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and places his hands on mine in my drawer. "Don't." He states simply. "I like how you're dressed now." John grins up at me and I shake my head. "You know I was going to take off my bra and put on something a little bit more sexy, but if you want to sleep next to me in this, alright." John laughs and pulls me around to face him. "You're already sexy." I feel his breath hot on my face, towering above me. His lips falling into mine and I can't take the teasing any more. "It's been far too long" I state before I lean in and devour his lips. I taste his breath on mine. It's sweet and sexy at the same time. My hands move up his body and he slowly walks us back towards the bed. When his legs knock against it, I push him downward and he crawls on up. *************** I tower above him, making him want more and making him wait for more. "You're such a tease." John states and leans upward to take my lips in his own. He's done waiting, I can tell, and his hands roam around my body. He rolls us over so that he's on top and he's savoring every moment of this night. Our lips part momentarily for another breath but his lips don't stop their sweet seduction on my skin. He moves over to my neck and nibbles on my flesh and down my body. He stops at my bra and looks to remove it with silent permission. "You're already stolen my heart, you're welcome to my body" I tell him and he grins up at me. His tongue traces my curves and he only leaves me antsy for more. He notices my restless state and whispers into my ear "do you still want to take things slow and forget about tonight?" My eyes bulge out, "Fuck no" I state and his smile erupts in a small amount of laughter. "That's what I thought" John replies and I take his breath in mine, yearning for more. His lips are sweet and I can't help but trail down his body touching and caressing him. I move down his neck teasing and tasting his skin, inch by inch. My hands roam over his flesh, feeling him awaken to my touch. I continue my decent on his body sucking and nibbling every ounce of him, until he can't hold on any longer. "Monica" John responds between labored breaths and he takes my mouth in his. His kisses find their way down my body and my legs part giving him entrance to my most sensitive areas. He begins suckling on me and his tongue works like magic as his fingers do a dance of their own. As I feel the intensity rise and the climax approach he works his way up my body so that our tongues hold on for the ultimate dance as our bodies combine. Thrust after thrust of intensity towards the ultimate satisfaction our bodies joined as one reach our final goal. We lay there spent and motionless from our exertion. John rolls over onto the bed on his back. I lay beside him and he rolls around and pulls me into his embrace. He whispers into my ear "Tell me again why we didn't do this sooner" and I can't help but smile, roll around and plant a kiss on his lips. "It wasn't the right time," I say and he smiles at me, and fingers through my hair. "And what you did that one night was?" John's grin appears even larger than before and I can't help but blush and feel shocked. "You were awake?" I exclaim and swat his arm playfully and he takes my lips in his, savoring this moment for all of eternity. The end.