Title: "In Your Arms" 1/1

Author: Startraveler
startraveler2025@aol.com

Rating: NC-17, language, sexual situations

Category: post-episode (Audrey-Pauley), DRR, Reyes POV

Spoilers: Don't know since I haven't seen it yet.

Summary: My take on what will happen after Monica comes home 
from the hospital.

Disclaimer: I wish they were mine, but they aren't. Won't make 
any money off this story.

Feedback: Yes, I'd love it. 

Archive: Please ask first.

Author's Note: This is my first published fic so please excuse 
any major grammatical blunders. I'm still learning! 

Dedicated to: My Oasis Smut Sisters who have been an inspiration 
to me. You know who you are!

************************************

We pull up in front of my building and he turns off the engine. 
He jumps out of the front seat and runs around to my side of the 
truck and opens my door. I start to move to try and slide out of 
the front seat but he stops me. Gently, he picks me up in his 
arms and kicks the door closed with his foot. 

"John, you don't have to carry me." 

"Yes, I do." He says in a tone that doesn't allow for argument.

I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder, relishing his strong 
arms around me and the faint smell of his aftershave. I feel so 
safe and relaxed at the moment; the best I've felt in the two 
weeks since my car accident. A shudder goes through me as the 
moment before the impact flashes through my mind one more time.

"You ok, Mon?" The timbre of his voice rumbles through me and I 
put the image out of my mind.

"Yeah, just a little cold." I lie.

He carries me up the stairs to my loft not even sounding winded 
after the exertion. He sets me down and I hand him the keys to 
the front door. He unlocks and opens the door. The place seems 
stuffy after being closed up for two weeks and it feels like I 
have been gone for months. John puts his arm around me and 
guides me to the bedroom.

"John, I'll be fine. You don't have to help me get in bed." I 
say, hoping that he doesn't agree with me.

"Now, Monica," he says sternly. "You know what the doctor said. 
You have ta' take it easy for a while."

"I know...it's just that you've been so attentive and spent so 
much time at the hospital. I know you have things you need to 
take care of."

Ignoring me, he pulls back the covers of my bed and fluffs the 
pillows. I slip my bathrobe off and lay it on the chair. Then he 
takes me by the arm and helps me in to bed. I sink into the soft 
pillows and sigh. It does feel wonderful to be back in my own 
house and my own bed again.

"What can I getcha? Are you hungry?"

"Mmm, no not really. But I am thirsty. Can you get me some 
water?"

"Are you sure there's nothin' else you want?" I look up at him 
and I notice the furrowed brow. It's a common expression of his 
that I love, but when directed at me, it seems even more 
endearing.

I reach out and touch his arm. "No, that's ok. I think I need to 
get some sleep." I notice how exhausted I feel all of a sudden. 
It didn't take much to wear me out. Guess I'm not as healed as I 
thought.

He comes back in the room with a glass of water and puts it by 
my bedside. "Listen, I'm gonna go to the store and pick up a few 
things for you. Looks like you don't have a lot of stuff to 
eat."

"Ok, that would be nice." I smile weakly as I feel a wave of 
drowsiness come over me.

"Any requests?" he asks.

"I would love some chocolate chip ice cream." I don't know what 
made me say that but it was a comfort food when I was a little 
girl and it sounds so good right now.

"Ok, sure." He laughs softly. "Anything else?"

"Whatever you think I could use." It just seems like too much 
effort to think about at the moment.

"I'll be back in about an hour."

"Thank you, John." I murmur as my lids close heavily.

I don't even hear the sound of the door closing as he leaves.

**********************************

I'm driving my car but something doesn't seem right. This isn't 
my car, I think. The steering wheel feels like it is out of 
place and I can't reach the petals. I start to get nervous, 
afraid that I will slam in to something and not be able to stop 
in time. I now feel panicky as I try to stretch my right leg out 
as far as it will go but there is nothing there. The car seems 
to be building up speed on it's own and I'm coming up on a red 
light. I grip the steering wheel tightly and brace myself for 
impact because I know I can't stop. As I get closer to the 
intersection my panic increases and I start to scream as I see a 
car coming towards me out of the corner of my eye....

I wake up with a start, sweat clinging to my forehead and under 
arms. John comes running in to the room. "Mon, what's wrong?" He 
looks at me and realizes that I must have had a nightmare. He 
comes and sits on the edge of the bed and gently brushes his 
hand over my forehead. "It's ok. You just had a bad dream. Was 
it about the accident?"

I nod and look at him as I feel my breath start to return to 
normal. "Yeah I guess so" I still feel disoriented but his 
closeness seems to have a calming effect on me. 

He places his hands on my arms and looks me in the eye. "God, 
Mon." I am so sorry." I can see the concern and guilt clearly 
written on his face. 

"John, we've talked about this already. It's not your fault."

"I know" he says lowering his eyes. I can tell he isn't buying 
it.

"If I hadn't let you go...this..." I put my fingers on his lips to 
stop him.

"Shhh." I say soothingly. "I don't want to hear this. How could 
you possibly have known?"

He looks at me with those piercing blue eyes, questioning if I 
really mean what I just said. Then he wraps his arms around me 
and holds me close. I bury my face in his neck and let out the 
breath I didn't realize I was holding. I feel like I should 
comfort him now but I feel so drained, so tired and I just let 
him hold me. It feels so good to have his arms around me like 
this. I have loved him for so long and had almost stopped hoping 
that he would ever return my feelings. 

My stomach rumbles letting me know that it is empty. John hears 
it too and pulls back. "You hungry?" he smiles. 

"Yeah." 

"You want some of that chocolate chip ice cream?" 

I just nod my head in affirmation. I feel kind of like a little 
girl right now and I flash on my father getting me ice cream 
when I was sick in bed.

"Ok, I'll get you some." Maybe I'll have some myself" he grins.

John comes back carrying two bowls and hands me one as he sits 
down on the bed next to me. We eat our ice cream in silence for 
a few moments. It tastes so good and creamy. When I'm done, I 
set the bowl down on the nightstand. "That hit the spot. Thanks 
for taking such good care of me."

John sets his bowl down next to mine and takes my hand. His 
expression becomes serious. "Look, Mon, there's something I've 
been meanin' to tell ya but it was never the right time when you 
were in the hospital."

I study his face. The circles under his eyes seem more 
pronounced. I'm sure this has been a draining experience for him 
as well. I've done vigil by his beside more than once and know 
how it feels.

"When you were laying there in a coma I had some time to do some 
thinkin'." He hesitates for a moment and I give his hand a small 
squeeze encouraging him to continue. "I've...I mean...." He lets out 
a small sigh. "Damn it, Mon... I feel like such a jerk that it 
took an accident like this to make me realize how I feel about 
you. I almost lost you." He whispers.

I can see his eyes getting moist and that he is fighting with is 
emotions, trying to keep them at bay. I reach up and stroke his 
cheek gently. He turns his lips into my palm and kisses it 
softly. The feel of his lips on my skin sends a tingle up my 
spine. 

"John..." I begin but this time it is his turn to interrupt me. 
"Monica, I love you. I think I have for a long time but I guess 
I was afraid to admit it to myself or to you. I guess I was just 
tryin' to keep myself busy, wrapped up in my work so I didn't 
have to feel anything. But when I almost lost you... I realized... 
how special you are...And how devastated I'd have been if I'd lost 
you. Sounds kinda selfish I know..."

I look at him sitting there, looking like a lost little boy, and 
my heart skips a beat. How long have I waited for this; for him 
to tell me he loved me. It seems like forever. I know it sounds 
sick but if this accident is what it took for him to realize he 
feels the same way...then it was worth the pain and the nightmares 
too.

A thought suddenly occurs to me. "God, I hope he doesn't feel 
this way out of guilt!" He must have noticed a change flicker 
over my face. "Damn, I shouldn't have said anything", he frowns.

"No, no John...it's not that..." I pause for a moment trying to 
collect my thoughts. He looks at me questioningly. "You don't 
know how long I have waited for you to say that you love me...it's 
just that I want to make sure you aren't saying this out of some 
kind of guilt over my accident."

John takes my face in his hands, his ice blue eyes boring into 
my soul. "Monica, don't even think something like that. I love 
you. Please believe that."

I feel tears start to well up in my eyes. He takes his thumb and 
wipes away the tear that is falling down my check. I put my arms 
around his neck and bury my face in chest and let the tears 
flow. John holds me and rocks me gently, letting me have the 
release that I so desperately need. I can't help myself. I guess 
the stress and pain I have been through had built up more than I 
realized. 

When my tears subside, I pull back and look at him. He smiles at 
me and wipes the rest of the tears from my face before he leans 
in to kiss me. His lips feel so soft and warm on mine and I feel 
a twinge of arousal course through me. I kiss him back with more 
passion and part my lips to allow his tongue entrance to my 
mouth. Our tongues swirl and dance around each other's until we 
both need to come up for air. We pull apart panting slightly and 
I can feel the heat between us. John looks at me intently. "Mon, 
I should let you get some sleep."

I know he's probably right but I don't want him to leave after 
that kiss we shared. Even in my weakened state, he has aroused a 
long buried passion within me and I'm not willing to let this 
feeling go just yet.

"Will you stay here with me and hold me?"

He lays me back on the bed, kicks his shoes off and lies down 
next to me, caressing my face. I turn my head to look at him and 
sigh deeply. I feel so content and happy right now having him 
next to me like this. I wrap my arm over his chest and close my 
eyes. I don't think my nightmares will come back, at least not 
while he is here with me.

*******************************

When I awake from my nap, the late afternoon sun is casting a 
soft, gauzy light in my bedroom. I looked over at the clock and 
realize I have been asleep for over four hours. Then I realize 
that John isn't lying next to me. I slowly get up, trying to 
avoid getting dizzy and reach for my bathrobe and go look for 
John. I find him in the kitchen standing over the stove stirring 
something in a pot.

"Well hello, sleepyhead." He smiles and leans over to kiss me on 
the forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmmm, yeah, I did." I say as a big yawn escapes my mouth. "Best 
sleep I've had in over two weeks."

"Good. I hope you like beef stew. It's one of the few things I 
actually learned how to cook."

I laugh softly at the thought of John learning how to cook. He 
never struck me as the culinary sort. "Yes, and I'm sure I'll 
love it." I wrapped my arms around his chest and look up at him. 
He bends down and kisses me and I return his kiss deeply.

"Well, you better let the cook get back to work or we'll never 
eat" 

"Ok, Chef Doggett I'll get out of your way." 

I walk back towards the bedroom. "I'm going to go freshen up a 
bit."

"Ok, but dinner will be ready in about 30 minutes", he calls 
after me.

Good, I think to myself. That will give me a chance to take a 
shower. I realize that I probably look pretty ratty by now. I 
carefully step in to the shower, still feeling a little weak. 
The hot water feels good over my sore muscles and I close my 
eyes. I still can't believe that the man I have love is in my 
kitchen cooking me dinner. I smile at the thought. 

John and I sit across from each other in my kitchen eating the 
meal he cooked for us. I don't have the heart to tell him that I 
don't eat beef very often but it does taste delicious. I smile 
as I think of the polish sausage he brought me when I first 
moved in here. It's the little things like this, which make me 
love him even more. 

I ask him how things are going at the office and he tells me a 
couple of stories about the case he and Dana were working on 
while I was in the hospital. I'm glad that Dana was there to 
help. I have grown to respect and even like her as a friend and 
as well as a colleague. I remember when I first met her and saw 
how John looked at her it made my heart sink. She seemed either 
impervious or unaware of his feelings but I knew John well 
enough to see how much he cared for her. I tried to convince 
myself that it was just his concern for her as a mother and that 
his unresolved feelings over Luke's death were driving his 
affection for her. I soon realized that she did not return the 
same feelings for him. She clearly was in love with Mulder, and 
he was probably William's father. My heart went out to her for 
what she had been through and I hoped that one day she and 
Mulder would be together again. Over time, I could see a shift 
in John's feelings for Dana and I hoped that it really was a 
passing obsession. Even though he has now declared his love for 
me, it is something I need to ask him, but now is not the time.

John interrupts my reverie. "Everything ok, Mon? I hope you like 
it."

"Yes, it's delicious. I guess I'm just feeling a little worn 
out." I reach across the table and place my hand over his. "I 
think I need to go back to bed and lay down." 

I hate to leave him to clean up after he did the cooking but my 
body is telling me to rest. I give him a kiss on the cheek and 
shuffle back to bed. 

The next thing I know, I'm waking up and John is lying next to 
me, fast asleep with his clothes still on. With only the 
moonlight coming in through the window I look over at him and 
study his face. He is lying on his back so I have a good view of 
his features. His normally furrowed brow is relaxed, making him 
look much younger and his lips are not in their usual pursed 
position. He looks so peaceful that I have to resist the urge to 
lean over and kiss him. I just smile and lay on my side to watch 
him. I think of what it will be like to be with this man, to 
have his hands caressing me, his lips tasting me, his manhood 
inside of me. I must have let out a loud sigh because John stirs 
and I see his eyes flutter open. He turns and sees me watching 
him. I smile and stroke his chest. "Hi, sleepyhead", I say 
returning his earlier comment. Why don't you take off your 
clothes and get more comfortable?" 

He groans and puts his hand over mine. "Mmmm, yeah. Probably a 
good idea." Then he seems to wake up a little more. "Are you 
sure you want me to stay? Maybe I should go home and let you 
sleep." 

I start unbuttoning his shirt to let him know what my intentions 
are. He stops my hands and says "Mon, I'm serious. Do you really 
want me to stay?" 

"Yes," I breathe softly as I bend over to kiss him. He finally 
realizes that I mean what I am saying and he rolls over on his 
side to face me.

We lay there for a moment looking at each other while our hands 
caress one another. "I love you." He whispers as he leans in to 
kiss me again. I feel myself melt against him, his warmth 
enveloping me. "I love you too"

Then I sit up and continue unbuttoning his shirt. This time he 
doesn't stop me. He pulls his shirt out of his pants and sits up 
to take it off. I have seen his bare chest before but this time 
I can indulge my fantasies and reach out and touch his smooth, 
muscular chest. I run my hand over his nipples and he closes his 
eyes, delighting in the feel of my touch. I then make my way 
down his abdomen and he reaches down and takes my hand in his. 
He lays me back down on the bed and places soft, feather-light 
kisses over my cheeks, eyelids and lips. He continues his quest 
and flicks his tongue over my neck and nibbles on my earlobe. 
His warm, wet tongue is making the throbbing between my legs 
intensify. 

My moans seem to encourage him and he gently lifts me up so he 
can pull my nightgown off over my head. I lay back down on the 
bed and he looks down at me. The moonlight reflects off his 
silver blue eyes giving them an even greater intensity. I reach 
up and caress his face and he takes my fingers in his mouth and 
sucks on them. I close my eyes and let out a deep moan. "Like 
that, huh". He smiles impishly. 

"You have a very talented tongue", I say, teasing him back. He 
bends down and kisses me again. "Well, there's more where that 
came from", he whispers huskily in my ear. I return his kiss, 
thrusting my tongue wantonly in his mouth. We kiss passionately 
a while longer and then he descends that wonderful mouth down to 
my breasts. I gasp as he takes first one breast and then the 
other in his mouth slowly licking and sucking until I arch my 
back off of the bed letting him know I want more. 

He then leaves my swollen breasts and aching nipples behind and 
trails kisses down my abdomen. Pausing briefly to flick his 
tongue in my navel, he then reaches the top of my underwear. By 
this time I am breathing more heavily and I know he can sense my 
arousal. He mischievously runs his fingers under my panties and 
strokes the top of my curls. I can't help but lift my hips off 
of the bed in anticipation. I help him divulge myself of my 
underwear and he places the palm of his hand over my mound. I 
open my eyes and wrap my arm around his neck, drawing his mouth 
back to mine. As his tongue explores my mouth, he rubs his 
fingers over my swollen clit. I moan into his mouth and he 
strokes lower towards my hot, slick center. "Mmmm, you're so 
wet," he murmurs in my ear. 

This sends me even farther in to ecstasy and I start to buck 
against his fingers. "John, I want you inside me," I pant. 
"Soon, my love" he coos.

I don't think I can take much more and he slowly pulls his 
fingers out of me. He then kneels on the bed and undoes his 
trousers and I can her the sound of his zipper as it slides down 
over his erection. I just lay there transfixed as I watch him 
stand and pull his pants down over his hips. He kicks his pants 
off in one swift movement and is now standing before me in his 
underwear. I can see his massive bulge and I lean over and begin 
stroking him. He moans and then gently removes my hand so he can 
slip out of his briefs. They land in a pile joining his pants. 

He crawls back on the bed with me. I want to reach out and touch 
him and feel his cock without the obstruction of his underwear 
but he moves between my legs and I can't reach him. He looks up 
at me and I can see a playful look in his eyes as he lowers his 
head to kiss my thighs. I take his head between my hands and he 
lets me guide him to my center. He swirls his tongue around my 
aching lips and sucks me until I start to buck against his 
mouth. I know I'm moaning loudly now but I don't care. It feels 
so good and he knows just where to caress me. My whimpers seem 
to encourage him and he descends lower to my vagina and thrusts 
his tongue inside me. I am almost ready to explode and he grabs 
my buttocks in his hands as he continues his ministrations. I 
can't hold back any longer and I feel a wave of ecstasy roll 
over me in ever increasing intensity. 

After a few moments my breathing slows and he crawls up and 
kisses me deeply. I can taste myself on his mouth and it excites 
me. He is careful not to put any weight on me but I'm dying to 
hold him in my arms. I run my fingers through his hair and tell 
him how much I love him. He smiles and kisses me sweetly. He 
lies on his back and I roll over to curl up next to him. "What 
about you, my love? I can see that you haven't been satisfied 
yet." I say teasingly as I run my hand down lightly over his 
clearly visible desire. 

John turns and looks at me. "You need your rest. This was for 
you", he says tenderly. But I won't have any of this nonsense. I 
begin nuzzling his neck and then trail kisses down his chest and 
stomach. I hear him groan as I continue down to his waiting 
cock. Taking him in my mouth, I gently suck on the head and 
flick my tongue around the base. He rests his hand on my head as 
I take him fully into my mouth. I hear him moan and I cup his 
balls in my hand as I continue to move my mouth up and down his 
throbbing erection. He starts to buck his hips and I can taste 
the drop of pre-cum on the tip. "Mon...baby... Please stop... or I'm 
going to..." I lick and kiss him one more time before crawling 
backup to him. He gently lays me on my back and reaches down to 
stroke me, seeing if I am ready to take him inside. 

Giving him oral attention has gotten me quickly aroused and he 
slides in to me without much resistance. I cry out at the feel 
of his throbbing cock inside me. He slowly pulls out and then 
slides back in again. I can sense he is trying to be gentle due 
to my weakened condition but the slow rhythm of his movements is 
driving me insane. I grab his ass cheeks in both hands, 
squeezing them tightly, I murmur in his ear, "Please, I can't 
take this any more. I want to feel you deep inside me". He 
realizes that he isn't going to break me and his thrusts become 
more urgent. I can feel him angle in to me so that his cock rubs 
my clit and I felt another orgasm wash over me. I move in sync 
to his rhythm and whisper wantonly in his ear. "Oooohhh, you 
feel so good." This pushes John over the edge and I feel him 
pulsate deep within me. He gingerly rolls off of me and I feel 
the loss of the contact immediately. I curl up in his arms and 
he kisses me softly. 

"Mon, that was wonderful." He whispers. I just kiss him on the 
cheek in reply and mumble incoherently. I can feel a blissful 
sleepiness come over me. All I want to do is fall asleep in my 
lover's arms and stay there forever.

The End