TITLE:    NEVER SORRY AT ALL
AUTHOR:   DONNILEE 
E-MAIL:   donnilee@snet.net 
WEBSITE:  http://donnilee.tripod.com 
RATING:   NC-17 
CATEGORY: MSR, SK/O 
SPOILERS: NADA

SUMMARY:  Scully's mother inspires her to make some 
major changes in her life.

DISCLAIMER:  All characters used from the show, The 
X-Files are the property of Chris Carter, Ten 
Thirteen Productions, and Fox Broadcasting.  No 
copyright infringement intended.  No money made here.

THANKS:  To my beta reader, FatCat, who repeatedly 
steps up to the plate and encourages me.  She also 
comes up with some of the best ideas for story ideas 
and she's mostly responsible for the way this one 
goes!  Thanks for all the late night chats darling 
where we hash out the particulars.  Also, to 
Cratkinson, my pinch hitter, who catches all the 
stuff I miss and makes sure I don't sound like a 
medical text while describing sex.  Thanks girls.

XXXXXXXXXX
PART 1 (PG-13)

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, D.C.
MONDAY NIGHT - 7:00 PM

It had been a long day.  Earlier, I had apologized to 
my boss for my behavior upon catching him with my 
mother in her kitchen en flagrante delicto.  The 
pictures were still flashing in my mind, but they 
were fading now through sheer force of will.  Every 
time I thought of them, I would get up and do 
something to get my mind elsewhere.  Move a muscle, 
change a thought.  

I'd then gone to my mother's house and talked to her 
and apologized.  Then we'd proceeded to have one of 
the most honest talks I can ever remember having 
about what is important in life. 

Mulder's words were still ringing in my ears as well.  
He'd said, "I know what I want, Scully.  You know how 
I feel about you."

The question was whether or not I had to courage to 
tell him how I felt about him.  I did love him.  I 
knew that now.  Nothing but pure fear and 
stubbornness had prevented me from admitting it 
before now.  I'd been so afraid of ruining my career 
that I'd never been willing to cross the line.

I was willing to die for the man, but not willing to 
risk my heart with him, until now that is.  I 
hesitated but then picked up the phone and dialed.  
After two rings, he answered, sounding bored out of 
his mind.

"Mulder," he answered.  

"Hi, Mulder, it's me."

He perked right up.  "Oh, hi, Scully!  What are you 
doing?"

"Um, not much.  I just got home from talking to my 
mother.  I haven't eaten yet, have you?"

"As a matter of fact, I haven't.  What would you 
suggest?" he asked in a teasing voice.

I smiled to myself.  Subtle, he wasn't.  "I was 
thinking I could order Chinese.  Would you mind a 
drive to Georgetown?  I don't feel like going out 
again."

"I'll be there before you know it," he replied, 
sounding infinitely happy that I had called.

"Good, see you in a few."

We hung up and I redialed.  We'd done this so many 
times, I knew what he would want from the local 
Chinese restaurant.  I didn't even have to ask.  I 
realized how many small things like this that we knew 
about each other.  I knew what he liked from every 
restaurant within a ten-mile radius of his house and 
mine.  I knew how he liked his coffee, which days he 
swam at the YMCA, what time he usually did his run 
each morning when he was home.

In many ways, we were like an old married couple 
already.  I struggled with these thoughts after 
hanging up the phone, having placed our order.  The 
problem was that neither of us reaped the benefits of 
being an old, married couple.  We knew all these 
things and that made us infinitely comfortable with 
each other.  On the other hand, unlike that married 
couple, there was very little physical affection in 
our relationship.  Though there was more hugging 
lately, there was no true physical intimacy.

Most importantly, we rarely opened up about how we 
felt about one another.  It usually took a tragedy of 
some sort, or in this case, a horrific shock to make 
us take a look at what was missing from our 
relationship.

I started the coffee and set the table.  When I 
responded to the doorbell, I found Mulder standing 
there, paying for the food.   He entered with the 
bags and headed straight for the kitchen.  "Smells 
good.  I'm starving," he replied casually.

I followed him, admiring the way his worn jeans 
hugged his ass cheeks.  I nearly blushed and shook 
myself mentally.  I had a purpose to fulfill tonight.  
I didn't expect to make any giant leaps forward in 
our relationship, but I wanted to talk honestly with 
him about it and at least tell him how I felt about 
him.  That was harder than it sounded.

We heaped up our plates with food and sat at the 
kitchen table to eat.  He dug in with enthusiasm and 
I smiled as he made happy, yummy noises as he ate.  I 
finally chuckled.

He looked up while chewing a mouthful of pork-fried 
rice and smiled.  He swallowed and asked, "What?"

"You're like a little kid sometimes with food, all 
the noises you make."

He grinned, showing teeth this time and I felt my 
stomach do a little flip-flop.  God, the man was 
gorgeous.  I rarely took time to see it or 
acknowledge it.  I knew in a peripheral sort of way 
that Mulder was extremely handsome and that women 
looked at him all the time.  My death stares kept 
most of them from touching.  I was extremely 
territorial, I realized.  That was something else I 
had to admit, if only to myself.

"Does it bother you?" he asked.

"No, it amuses me.  I like to see people enjoy their 
food."

His smile softened and he began eating again.  We 
were nearly done.  I was still nibbling on an egg 
roll when he finally asked, "What's the occasion?"

I stopped in mid-chew and stared at him.  I put down 
my egg roll, finished chewing and swallowed.  "How 
about we get some coffee and relax in the living 
room?"  He accepted my dodge and stood up, helping me 
clear the plates.  When he turned on the water, I 
said, "Leave them for now."

He looked surprised.  I was pretty anal about 
cleanliness and generally wanted to wash dishes 
immediately after dinner so they were done and I 
didn't have to worry about doing them later.  He knew 
this as well.  It was another example of how well we 
knew each other's personal habits even though we 
didn't live together.

He didn't question me though, seeming to sense that 
there was something important going on.  I could see 
the worry line on his forehead, which told me that he 
was concerned and slightly confused about what was 
going on.  He simply nodded and we fixed our coffee.  

He trailed after me into the living room.  I kicked 
off my shoes and he mimicked me.  We each sat cross-
legged on either end of the couch.  We sipped quietly 
for a few moments and finally he said, "What's on 
your mind, Scully?"

I sighed.  "I talked with my mother this afternoon 
after I left the office."

"Yeah, you called to say you were leaving.  I was 
surprised you didn't even come down to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry.  I felt like I had to get to my mother's 
before I lost my nerve," I said as an apology.

"It's all right, but I was worried it hadn't gone 
well with Skinner.  I didn't dare call up there and 
ask."

"It went all right.  It was awkward, as you would 
expect.  However, he accepted my apology and promised 
me that he would never hurt my mother."

"Big promise," he said idly.

I nodded.  "I don't know what I thought, but after 
seeing him a bit nervous and with his guard down, I 
believe he really loves her, Mulder."

"I never doubted it.  Skinner says what he means most 
of the time.  He wouldn't hedge on a thing like that.  
He wouldn't say something that important if he didn't 
mean it, just to placate you."

"I couldn't think that deeply at the time," I said 
tartly.
 
He chuckled.  "So what happened with your mother?  I 
assume that was a more difficult discussion."

I nodded wearily.  "She accepted my apology too, but 
also scolded me, reminding me that she didn't need my 
permission to date whoever she wants.  On the other 
hand, she said she feels better having my blessing."

He merely smiled and waited.  When I said nothing, he 
asked, "There's more, isn't there?"

I nodded and suddenly all my emotions were right on 
the surface.  I swallowed hard and felt the lump in 
my throat growing.  The backs of my eyelids stung 
with tears and I blinked rapidly to hold them back.  
When I thought I had myself under control, I opened 
my mouth to say that I wanted to talk about us.

To my surprise and his, I burst into tears.  He 
looked shocked and set his coffee cup down.  He moved 
toward me but I waved him off, covering my eyes with 
my hand and looking at my lap, trying to get myself 
under control.

With his usual flair, he ignored my request to not 
touch me.  He unfolded his legs and slid down to sit 
in front of my crossed legs.  His hands were 
instantly in my hair, gently trying to coax my face 
up.  I resisted and he asked softly, "Scully, what is 
it?"

He was so tender with me.  I realized he was always 
tender with me and it just made me cry harder.  I 
glanced up at him from under my eyelashes and could 
see that he was scared and shocked.  I didn't do this 
sort of thing.

He wrapped his arms around my back and allowed me to 
not look at him, still hanging my head.  He was 
petting my hair and I realized he was whispering to 
me.  "Awww, Scully.  It's all right.  I know you miss 
your dad, and I didn't mean to make light of your 
mother being with someone else.  I was shocked it was 
Skinner too, but I know you'd be upset no matter who 
it is."

I was trying to shake my head in the negative to tell 
him that wasn't why I was crying, but he just kept 
talking softly to me.  His hands moved from my hair 
down to my back and began to rub gently up and down.  
I felt electric tingles of sensation chase themselves 
up and down my spine.  Since I was sobbing and my 
shoulders were heaving, he didn't catch the shivers 
that he was causing.

"Scully, it's all right to be upset, you know?  
You're always the rock.  God, you're my rock, Scully.  
That doesn't mean that you have to be strong all the 
time.  Nobody can be a pillar all the time."  He 
paused.  "That's it, just let it go.  Let it all 
out."

I realized my mother was the bravest person I knew.  
I might carry the badge and the gun, but my mother 
had a strength of character that was so deep, it was 
frightening.  She had the courage to experience life 
to the fullest.  Even at the age of 58 she was 
willing to risk her heart, not a first time, but a 
second time.  I acknowledged how downright scared I 
was and marveled at her courage.

I could feel the nervous flutter of Mulder's hands up 
and down my back.  He was scared.  I kept sucking in 
loud, noisy, deep breaths in an attempt to stem the 
flow of emotions.  I was completely overwhelmed and 
finally stopped fighting it and just sobbed.  It was 
something I hadn't done in years.  

I was suddenly very aware of how close he was, the 
heat coming off his body, the nervous flutter of his 
hands, his soft, low voice cooing in my ear.  His 
voice was actually shaky.  I was really scaring him 
now, because I couldn't stop.

He kept touching me more, pulling me closer.  I 
wasn't resisting, even though I had a flash of fear.  
I'd almost pushed him away but I'd remembered what 
I'd set out to do with this evening.  

Now I was embarrassed.  My face was all blotchy.  I 
knew it would be, it always was when I cried.  I knew 
my mascara would be smeared.  I nearly choked when my 
nose filled up with mucus. I was never one of those 
girls that could cry pretty.  I always became a mess.  
He reached over and grabbed the tissues off the 
coffee table and I yanked a couple out, loudly 
blowing my nose and starting to calm down.

"Scully, God, tell me what's wrong.  Talk to me, 
Scully."

He surprised me when he wrapped his arms tightly 
around my back, twisted to sit facing forward on the 
couch, and hauled me into his lap, my legs straddling 
his lap. 

I finally found some will to resist, and put my hands 
on his chest.  The push I gave was weak and he said, 
"No, Scully.  Let me hold you.  For God's sake, this 
one time, let me comfort you."

He almost sounded mad and I realized how important it 
was to him that I allow myself to be vulnerable in 
front of him.  Wasn't that what trusting was all 
about?  It finally registered that he had told me I 
didn't need to be strong all the time.  He was 
probably right but it was a hard behavior to let go 
of.

I let myself fall against his chest, and put my hands 
around his neck.  I buried my face in his chest, not 
wanting him to see my face all snotty and blotchy.  
He began rocking me gently.  Then to my surprise, he 
went a step further.  I didn't realize what he was 
doing at first.  I thought it was hands when I felt 
the movement in my hair, but then realized his arms 
were still wrapped firmly around my middle.  

He was raining gentle kisses on my hair.  He started 
on top and moved to the back, burying his nose in my 
hair at the back of my neck.  Now the kisses were a 
tad firmer and made the hair on the back of my neck 
stand up straight.  He was so gentle, so tentative 
and it made me start crying again with a fresh wave 
of tears.  I was soaking his shirt, but he didn't 
seem to mind.

I was still trying the stop the flow of the tears, 
but at least my sobbing had stopped.  Now, I was 
sniffling and just letting the tears scald a trail 
down my face.  I should resist.  I should stop him 
from kissing me.  It was distracting.  I had things 
to say.  All these thought flitted through my mind, 
and I simply sat there, straddling his lap and soaked 
up the heat and comfort of his big, warm body.  His 
gentle hands were rubbing my back again and his 
loving kisses rained down on my hair and the back of 
my neck.

I shuddered with a sudden wave of arousal and tried 
to tamp it down.  I could feel his warm breath on the 
back of my neck.  He moved to kiss the top of my head 
which was firmly wedged under his chin.  I felt the 
cold loss of it and shivered again.

I didn't even want to know what I looked like.  I 
cursed my Irish skin.  I knew how red and blotchy it 
got when I cried.  I could picture my bloodshot eyes, 
my snotty red nose and my running mascara.

He was whispering still, "Tell me, Scully.  Tell me 
exactly what's wrong.  You'll feel better.  You can 
trust me.  You know that."  Kiss, kiss, kiss.

The tears finally dried up.  I sat back gingerly and 
he handed me more tissues.  I was embarrassed and 
couldn't look at him.  I continued to look down and 
realized my hips were pressed tight against his lower 
abdomen.  He shifted slightly and I felt the 
beginnings of an erection.

He cleared his throat and decided to ignore it.  He 
leaned forward slightly and kissed my forehead.  I 
jerked away and saw the flash of hurt on his face.  I 
rushed to reassure him.  "Sorry, Mulder.  I'm all 
messed up.  I need to wash my face.  I'm all blotchy 
and snotty," I explained, feeling embarrassed again.
 
He gave me a gentle smile and said, "Do you honestly 
think I care about stuff like that?"

I'd finished blowing my nose and tossed the tissues 
into the wicker wastebasket next to the couch.  I 
finally raised my head, acutely aware that my eyes 
were puffy and my skin was red and blotchy.  He was 
looking at me with the tenderest expression on his 
face that I'd ever seen.  I had a mini-epiphany.  I 
realized he truly didn't care.  He loved me, the 
woman that was inside of me.  If he liked the 
package, great, but I realized he didn't care if I 
didn't look all put together all the time.

I smiled, still feeling embarrassed.  "I really do 
need to wash my face."  I paused, feeling stupid.  
"God, I'm so tired."

"Being upset is mentally exhausting, Scully, more so 
than physical labor."  I nodded.  "Why don't you take 
a quick shower and then go to bed," he suggested.
 
I swallowed hard.  Quietly, I asked, "Would you 
stay?"

"While you shower?" he asked.

I stared at him and bucked up my courage.  "No, stay 
here tonight."

He hesitated and then said, "Whatever you want, 
Scully."

He'd stayed on my couch before.  This wouldn't be a 
first time thing.  What he didn't know was that I 
didn't want him on the couch.  I wasn't ready for the 
whole deal, but I couldn't stand the thought of him 
leaving.  I knew if he did, I would never get out 
what I had to say.  "I don't want to be alone 
tonight," I admitted.

He nodded and said, "I'm not going anywhere."

I knew he meant it.  I slid off his lap and padded 
into the bathroom.  I stripped and showered quickly.  
When I came out, I dressed in my flannel pajamas and 
wandered into the living room.  He'd taken a sheet, 
pillow, and a blanket from my linen closet and put 
them on the couch.  My heart sank.  How could I ask 
him?  I had to.  'Just do it,' I told myself.

He approached me and cupped my head in his hands, 
"Feel better?"

I nodded, glancing at the couch with a frown.  "Yeah, 
but ..."

"What's wrong?" he asked, knowing instantly that 
something wasn't right.

"I don't know how to ask this," I blurted out.

He smiled a close-lipped smile that spoke of his 
slight confusion.  "Just ask, Scully.  You can ask me 
anything."

I looked up into his hazel eyes and knew it was true.  
I could ask him anything.  Why was I always so 
afraid?  I'd always told myself I didn't say things 
because it was better if I didn't.  That was crap.  I 
was afraid, pure and simple.  I took a deep breath 
and said, "Would you sleep in my room?"

He looked shocked for a minute and then nodded.

I stuttered slightly, "I mean, I just liked being 
held like that, and I ..."

His finger came down on my lips.  Now his smile was 
amused.  "Don't worry, I won't take it the wrong way.  
Yes, I'd be happy to.  I told you, Scully.  Whatever 
you need."

I nodded and looked down.  He lifted my chin with two 
fingers and then leaned in, kissing my forehead.  
"Let's go."

He followed me into the bedroom.



XXXXXXXXXX

PART 2 (PG-13)

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, D.C.
MONDAY NIGHT - 10:00 PM

Whoa.  Scully just asked me to sleep with her.  Not 
that way, but still.  She wanted me in her bed, 
holding her.  I was excited but I knew how hard this 
was going to be.  My body reacted to her without any 
help from my brain.  Even trying to comfort her, I 
couldn't stop my body from reacting slightly.  I'd 
tamped it down and thank God I hadn't gotten a full-
blown erection.  

If she'd squirmed around I would have.  Fortunately, 
other than her shaking shoulders, she'd stayed fairly 
still.  Thank goodness for small favors. 

I realized what this meant.  Scully had let down a 
wall tonight, one that I'd been trying to scale for 
years.  She'd let me in.  She'd let me share her pain 
and she'd let me comfort her without resisting.  
Well, mostly.  She'd made a few feeble attempts to 
push me away but I could see how badly she was 
hurting, and I wasn't going to take no for an answer 
this time.  I knew it was a risk not to respond to 
her subtle overtures that I stay away.  

I was sick and tired of being a gentleman about that.  
She needed me.  Damn it!  Why couldn't she admit it?  
That's all I wanted, really.  I realized a long time 
ago that Scully was a woman of few words.  Her 
actions told the story better than anything else.  I 
wasn't sure what was going on yet.  Since she hadn't 
explained her tears, I was unsure if she was that 
upset over her mother taking up with Skinner or if 
she was grieving for her father all over again.  I 
was afraid to ask.  

However, her actions told me that she was letting 
down a stalwart wall that was part of her make up 
since I'd known her.  She'd not really resisted me, 
and she'd LET me comfort her.  That was new.  To most 
people, it wouldn't be a big thing.  With Scully, I 
knew how big of a deal it was.  It was huge!

It had to be hard for her.  For her to drop this 
wall, the pain was obviously greater than her 
determination to keep the wall up, so I knew that the 
pain had to be tremendous.  

I hated seeing Scully in pain.  I hated it even worse 
when I saw her crying.  It not only broke my heart, 
it scared the shit out of me.  Not because I didn't 
expect her to be human and have her moments, but 
rather, because it was so unlike her.  She was under 
such stress day in and day out.  I'd often wondered 
when she would simply crack under the strain.  I 
worried about her simply losing it one day and having 
a total nervous break down.  The way she'd been 
sobbing and unable to stop had scared me.  I had to 
admit it.

I usually steered clear of psychoanalyzing Scully.  I 
knew she hated it and besides, I couldn't be 
objective because I loved her so much.  I knew this 
and so I resisted, most of the time, from delving 
into her thoughts or her psyche.  I had always felt 
we had an unspoken agreement that when we were ready, 
we would share things with one another.

In this case, she hadn't needed to share what the 
problem was.  I'd been there and seen the whole thing 
in living color.  I'd been shocked and embarrassed, 
but not because of what they were doing per se.  
Bottom line, I was never supposed to see my boss or 
my partner's mother naked.  That was embarrassing no 
matter how you sliced it.  I could only imagine how 
embarrassed they were. 

Scully had been so sure that something was wrong with 
her mother.  She'd felt that way for days.  I hadn't 
been so sure.  I'd gotten pretty close to Mrs. Scully 
throughout the whole Duane Barry incident and I knew 
how strong she was and how much of an independent 
thinker she was.  I admired her for it.  Personally, 
I think I gave Mrs. Scully more credit in a lot of 
areas than Scully did, but I understood her concern.

Being the eternal pessimist, it was odd that in this 
case, I'd been the one to think positively and not 
expect the worst.  That was against my nature and I 
wondered about it now for a brief moment.  Then the 
nervousness of crawling into bed with Scully took 
over.  I watched in amazement as she slipped off her 
pajama bottoms and crawled into bed in just her top 
and panties.

My breathing grew slightly labored and I wondered 
what I should sleep in.  "Uh, Scully.  Do you have 
any sweats or shorts or something of mine here?" I 
asked.

She looked up at me as I stood at the side of the 
bed.  "Just sleep in your boxer briefs," she mumbled.

She was horizontal and I knew she would be out like a 
light any moment now.  I'd never seen anyone that 
could fall asleep like Scully did, like someone 
flicked a switch.  Whew.  This was getting harder by 
the second, and I meant that literally.

She gave me a goofy smile and then her eyelids slid 
shut.  I stood there watching her sleep for a minute.  
I thought she was asleep when she suddenly opened her 
eyes.  "What are you doing, Mulder?"

I jumped at the sound of her sleepy voice.  "Sorry," 
I mumbled and pulled my shirt over my head.  I walked 
to the other side of the bed and unzipped my jeans.  
I slid them down my legs, feeling self-conscious for 
no particular reason.

I was aroused just from looking at her and I yanked 
the covers back and quickly slid under them before 
she could see evidence of my arousal.  Her head 
flopped on the pillow to face me and she said, "Don't 
worry about it, Mulder.  We're adults.  If you react 
to being close to a warm body, I won't hold it 
against you."

I gave her an embarrassed smile and slid toward her.  
"Damn, you sure you won't hold it against me?" I 
teased. 

She smiled lazily at my double entendre, but then 
turned away with her back facing me.  I slid up 
behind her and put my arm under her pillow, cradling 
her head on my biceps.  I wrapped an arm around her 
waist, leaving a couple inches between us.

She hummed in the back of her throat and scooted back 
until her luscious little rump was cradled in the 
curve of my pelvis.  I had to bite back the moan that 
wanted to escape me as I felt my entire groin tingle 
and my dick harden from semi-erect to throbbing and 
fully aroused.  I bit my lip, trying to think of 
something disgusting.  

Within a minute she was snoring gently and I gave up, 
pressing my whole body against her.  My erection 
pushed her panties into the crack of her ass.  I did 
moan softly then and concentrated on relaxing the 
rest of my body.  Little Mulder had a mind of his own 
and I knew I wasn't getting him to calm down while he 
was pressed up against Scully.  Jerking off was the 
only option to appease him, and I didn't think that 
would be appropriate at this juncture.  Even then, I 
wasn't sure it would cure the problem tonight.
 
I finally relaxed and drifted off the sleep after an 
hour or so.  I did enjoy the feel of her body next to 
mine, even if that's all that happened.  I must say, 
I was a happy camper when Scully let me close to her.  
The difference this time was that neither of us was 
hurt or injured.  Well, she was hurt, but not 
physically, so this was a first for us.

I fell asleep and dreamed of making love to Scully 
and hearing her shouting my name as she climaxed.  
Hey, it was my fantasy, my dream, and I could have 
her be as wild as I wanted.

XXXXXXXXXX

I woke up at 7:00 AM, realizing I'd slept nearly nine 
hours.  I was warm and cozy under the covers.  I 
stiffened suddenly until I remembered that Mulder was 
in bed with me.  During the night he'd thrown a leg 
over my calves.  His right arm was around my waist 
and his big hand was splayed over my stomach.  I was 
pinned to the mattress from knee to neck as he held 
me gently.

It felt so good.  I could feel his hot breath on my 
neck and it reminded me of last night and his gentle 
kisses.  Were they simply for comfort?  I thought or 
was pretty sure they were.  I knew he had no idea 
that it had aroused me slightly for a moment there.  
It was a bold step for him nonetheless.

The entire evening had been a bust.  I'd not gotten 
one word out about how I felt and what we might do 
with our relationship.  I'd sobbed like a madwoman 
and then went to sleep on him.  'Good show, Dana,' I 
thought to myself.

I needed to pee, and I gently extracted myself from 
his grip.  He made a noise of protest, but I tucked 
the covers more securely around him and he settled 
back down.  I used the bathroom, brushed my teeth and 
hair.  I took a quick shower and went back to the 
bedroom.  I was going to get dressed but then the 
picture he made, laying there in my bed, struck me.  
While I'd been gone, he'd flopped onto his back.  
He'd kicked at the covers and they just covered him 
from the knees down.  He was wearing white boxer 
briefs and there was an impressive tent in the front 
bulging forward.

His faced was unlined in sleep and he looked so 
peaceful.  I rarely got the opportunity so I indulged 
myself, just looking at him.  My eyes wandered over 
his bottom lip, his Adam's apple, down over his well-
defined pecs and down his washboard abdomen.  I 
didn't remember him being this well-defined.  I 
wondered if he had been working out in addition to 
his running and swimming routine.  If he was, that 
was one thing I hadn't known about him.

He looked delicious with a chocolate hank of hair 
falling over his forehead.  One arm was draped over 
his ribs.  The other was up by his head.  I wondered 
what it would feel like to have him touch me with all 
that muscle and those big hands in a deliberate way.  
Oh, he'd held me all night, just like I'd asked.  
Clumsy as my request had been, he'd understood that I 
wasn't asking him to have sex with me.  The amazing 
part was that he accepted it.  Most men would have 
been disgusted or at least disappointed with the 
request.  Not my Mulder.  He'd taken it in stride.

My Mulder.  Damn, I really did think like that.  I 
was a doctor and I knew that men got a morning hard 
on when they had to pee.  Still, seeing the lump in 
his briefs, I felt my body respond and get soft as if 
preparing for arousal.

I bit back the gasp of surprise.  I didn't normally 
react this way to the sight of a man's naked body.  I 
was a doctor, for God's sake.  Oh, but this was 
Mulder's body, and I was a woman too.  Plus, I was a 
woman that hadn't had an intimate relationship or 
even casual sex in nearly seven years.  I was starved 
for it, as much as it scared me.

I'd felt so sure of myself when I'd left my mother's 
house.  I knew he'd thought I was crying over my 
father, or my mother's new relationship.  I hadn't 
been able to explain why I was so upset.  I was angry 
with myself and mad that I'd wasted so much time that 
I could have had with him.  I was disgusted with 
myself because I couldn't seem to let down that last 
wall and be as open as he could.  I was irritated 
that I would ever be afraid of Mulder hurting me.  He 
would never hurt me on purpose.  Intellectually I 
knew that.  The problem was that Mulder could break 
my heart and that scared me.  What would I do if we 
got into a relationship and then I lost him to 
another woman or it got stale or went bad?  What 
would I do if our partnership was ruined?  I'd be 
devastated.  I didn't think I would be able to handle 
it.
 
Then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  I 
remembered the stupid proverb, 'Better to have loved 
and lost, than never to have loved at all.'  I wasn't 
sure about that.  I'd spent my whole life building 
walls to keep people out.  What I hadn't realized 
until recently was that it made me a prisoner behind 
those walls.  No one could get in, but I couldn't get 
out either.  Now I was suffering the consequences of 
having built those walls so high and so thick.  

In seven years, Mulder was the only one that had 
scaled the walls with any amount of success.  
Usually, he was knocked off before he reached the 
top.  

I thought of my mother and her courage to risk her 
heart again, and knew that I couldn't let another day 
go by without telling him how precious he was to me.  
Silent communication was great, but sometimes we all 
needed to hear the words, the reassurance that the 
loved ones in our lives loved us back and weren't 
going anywhere.  I felt that this was especially true 
for Mulder.  He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved 
either to death, abduction or abandonment.  I was the 
only one still here.  I knew what that meant to him.  
He would never do anything to jeopardize it.  No, I 
would have to be the one to make the first move.

I felt myself melting as I stood there simply 
watching the soft rise and fall of his chest.  He was 
so tender and gentle with me.  Why had I been afraid 
to let him comfort me?  I was suddenly stunned by 
another epiphany.  I'd spent my entire life living 
the way other people wanted me to live.  I'd lived to 
make my father proud, to make Daniel proud, to 
satisfy Jack Willis, then to just plain be the model 
FBI agent, the consummate professional.

When was the last time I'd lived the way I wanted to, 
simply because it was what I wanted?  Did I really 
care what my family, co-workers and friends thought 
about my choices in my life?  I'd lived in fear of 
their comments and opinions.  No more, I decided.  I 
was going to take my life back.

Mulder was the man for me.  I had no doubt of that.  
We were meant to be together.  Fate had thrown us 
together and destiny had forged a bond between us 
that couldn't be broken.  I knew there would never be 
anyone that could take his place in my work, my life 
or my heart. 

So what was I waiting for?  I had to take that step 
and decide that no one was going to live my life for 
me anymore.  Routine and regimen were fine as far as 
they went, but it made for a lonely existence.  I was 
realizing that while my career was important, it was 
nothing when it stacked up against the prospect of 
living the rest of my life alone and unloved.  My 
mother was right.  Love was what was important.  I'd 
bag groceries and be happy about it if I could have 
love in my life, real unconditional love.

The physical embodiment of that love was sprawled 
right there on my bed.  All I had to do was muster up 
the courage to take that first step.  What would he 
do if I woke him with a kiss?  I smiled devilishly.  
I think he was about to find out.

I took one step toward the bed.  In my reverie, I 
hadn't noticed that he had woken up.  He hadn't 
moved.  Only his eyes were open and he was watching 
me staring at him.

I glanced at his crotch and so did he.  He had a look 
of surprise on his face or maybe it was panic as he 
sat up part way and reached for the covers at his 
feet, clearly with the intent to cover himself up.

I shook my head slowly in the negative.  He stared at 
me and then lay back down slowly, never taking his 
eyes off me.  I watched his breathing rate increase, 
his mouth parted slightly and he licked his lips, 
waiting to see what I would do.  Well, what was I 
going to do?  It was now or never.



XXXXXXXXXX

PART 3 (NC-17)

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, D.C.
TUESDAY MORNING - 7:30 PM

I woke up and knew immediately that she wasn't with 
me.  I felt the sheets and they were still warm so I 
knew she hadn't been gone long.  My dreams had been 
erotic and close to torture.  I flopped on my back 
and felt my erection throb.  I could hear the shower 
running.  I rarely felt this relaxed upon waking up.  
Sleeping in a bed agreed with me.  At least, sleeping 
with Scully agreed with me.  No surprise there.

It was warm in the bedroom.  Soft sunlight was 
streaming in the window.  I felt mellow except for 
the constant ache in my groin.  I wondered what was 
going to happen now.  I had to ask her about last 
night.  Why was she so upset?  I mean, I knew the 
reasons why she could be upset, I just didn't know 
which one was pushing her buttons.

I closed my eyes to wait, not willing to leave this 
warm bed just yet.  To my surprise I fell asleep 
again.  I was a bit startled to realize I was waking 
up for a second time that morning.  The covers were 
down around my calves and I was flopped on my back on 
the bed.  I cracked my eye open to find Scully 
standing at the foot of the bed wearing nothing but a 
towel.

Somehow I managed not to gasp or moan at the sight of 
her wet hair curling around her face.  As I watched a 
few drops of water drip off her hair and make a path 
down her chest into the crease between her breasts, I 
felt myself harden to fully erect.  My morning woody 
had now turned into a full-blown erection.  It was 
straining against the material of my boxer briefs.  I 
sneaked a look at her and she seemed to be in deep 
contemplation.  She hadn't moved and I found that 
strange.  Then I watched her eyes flicker over my 
body and back up to widen in surprise at my gaze.  I 
was self-conscious again.

I reached for the covers to cover up the obvious 
evidence of my arousal when she surprised me.  She 
took a step forward and shook her head.  I was 
confused for a second until I realized she was asking 
me not to cover myself up.

I laid back and let her stare at me, feeling like a 
bug under a microscope.  The implications of this 
were hitting me and I began to breathe heavily, 
waiting to see what she would do.  I was anxious to 
get into the shower and jerk off to get rid of this 
hard on.  I knew I wouldn't be going to the bathroom 
until I did.

She approached my side of the bed and stood there 
looking down at me.  I barely heard her whispered 
words.  "You're so beautiful, Mulder."

I gasped.  I couldn't help it.  Scully never said 
anything like that to me.  "Thanks, so are you," I 
blurted out.

She sat on the side of the bed and my eyes were drawn 
to the top of the towel again where I could see the 
top of the globes of her breasts.  She glanced down 
and smiled but then looked up at me again.  Our hips 
were touching now and she laid a hand on my left 
thigh.

"Scully?"

She glanced at my crotch again and then returned her 
eyes to my face.  "Is that the usual morning 
routine?"

I swallowed.  I shook my head and whispered, "No, I 
don't get this hard."

She was still for a few moments and then said, "I 
know we need to talk, but can we do it a little 
later?"

"Sure.  What did you want to do now?  I was thinking 
I could shower first and then we might have some 
breakfast.  If you're not feeling up to it, we can 
call into work.  There's nothing urgent there."  I 
was babbling and told myself to shut up.

She smiled.  "Taking the day off sounds good.  I 
slept but I'm wiped out emotionally."

I felt some of my arousal abate although with her 
hand on my leg I was finding it difficult.  I reached 
out and tucked her damp hair behind her ear.  "I 
know.  God, I hate to see you hurting so bad."

She smiled.  "You were great with me last night.  I'm 
sorry about the whole evening."

I shook my head, slightly exasperated.  "Don't be.  
Don't be sorry at all.  I was glad you let me be 
there for you.  I still don't know exactly what was 
upsetting you, your mother's situation or if you are 
grieving for your father again ... or still, I mean."

She shook her head this time.  "That's the strange 
thing, it wasn't either of those things.  Like I said 
though, I would like to finish talking about it 
later."

"Okay," I whispered and cursed silently as my voice 
came out as a gasp.

She held my gaze as she reached for the knot in the 
towel between her breasts.  I gasped loudly this 
time.  She smiled.  "Let me ask you one question," 
she said calmly.

"What?" I said, sounding almost frantic despite my 
lack of movement.

She smiled wider.  "Do you love me?"

"Yes," I replied without hesitation.  "You know I 
do."

She nodded.  "But are you in love with me?"

"Yes," I said simply, licking my lips with 
nervousness.  I couldn't lie to her and she knew it 
anyway, or I thought she did.  

That was end of her questions, she flicked her wrist 
and the towel fell in a puddle around her waist.

I sat up and canted forward, almost drooling over her 
breasts.  I stared at the pink roundness of them and 
the tight coral nipples that stuck out, begging to be 
sucked.  I did moan then.  Scully was offering 
herself to me.  I wished I'd had enough strength to 
ask her if this was really what she wanted.  I wished 
I could be noble, but I was simply mesmerized by the 
sight before me.  I knew that Scully wanted this.  
She wouldn't do this if she didn't.  Scully didn't do 
anything by accident.  I'd wanted her so bad for so 
long, I didn't have it in me to look a gift horse in 
the mouth.

I tentatively reached out and cupped her left breast 
in my right hand and squeezed gently.  She moaned and 
I watched her areola break out in goose bumps.  The 
sight of it made me throb.  I was driven right over 
the edge of insanity just because she was reacting to 
me that little bit. 

I grabbed her with my left arm and pulled her in, 
laying my mouth over hers, never releasing her 
breast.  My thumb found her nipple by feel and I 
flicked my nail against it.

She whimpered into my mouth and I thought I might 
lose it right there.  I realized she was naked and I 
was not.  I reluctantly broke the kiss.  She mewled 
in protest until she saw me reach for my boxers.  She 
reached to help and I lifted my hips, letting her 
pull them off.

XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

My erection sprang out and slapped my stomach, 
falling back down to point at her like a heat seeking 
missile.  Her mouth dropped open and she reached for 
me, wrapping her little hand around my shaft.  

I groaned like I was dying, "Oh God, Scully."

The fingers of her tiny hand didn't touch one another 
as she grasped me.  I was slightly above average in 
length, but I knew I was thicker than normal.  Many 
women had told me that.  So, my seven-inch cock 
wasn't amazing.  I could see though, that she was 
surprised by its girth.  It was 2-1/2 inches wide.  
The circumcised head flared even wider at the ridge.

"Jesus," she whispered.  I smiled, pleased that she 
seemed pleased.  Hey, I'm a guy.  A sensitive one, 
but still a guy.

"You like?" I asked.

She grinned and said, "It's huge."

I shrugged.  "Not really."

"I don't think I've ever seen one this thick," she 
replied.  She began to stroke it and I felt more 
blood rush into my shaft, hardening it to just this 
side of unbearable.  It felt like a stone pillar and 
I couldn't ever remember being this hard.

Her eyes warmed and she leaned forward.  She glanced 
at me and I laid back taking my weight on my elbows 
and bracing my body on the bed against the pillows.  
I wanted to be able to see every second of this.  She 
had a question in her eyes and I admitted, "It's one 
of my fantasies."

"Mmmm," she hummed and dropped her head, engulfing my 
mushroom head in her wet, hot mouth.

"Oh fuck!" I shouted, watching her plump, red lips 
stretch out around me.  She could only fit about four 
inches in her mouth before I hit the back of her 
throat.  Her lips were stretched to take in my girth.  
I had a sudden vision of ramming my cock down her 
throat and groaned, knowing I couldn't do it.

She sucked and bobbed her head in rhythm with her 
hand, which was jerking the rest of me.  She began to 
hum and I nearly lost it, feeling my balls tingle and 
coil.  "Oh Jesus, Scully!  Stop!"

She stopped and licked the underside of my shaft, 
humming still.  My hips jerked off the bed 
involuntarily.  She looked disappointed and that 
amazed me.  "I want to be inside you," I croaked out.

She moved up on the bed finally and I rolled her onto 
her back.  I lay on my side, and my hand wandered 
down to her apex.  I suckled a nipple and she arched 
her back, pushing it into my mouth.  She was so 
petite.  My finger found her seam and swished across 
it.  Her lips fell open like a flower and I felt 
wetness flow over my finger.  

We both moaned at this evidence of her arousal.  I 
stuck my finger inside and she bucked her hips toward 
my hand.  I spent some time finger fucking her and 
letting my thumb circle her clitoris until it was 
engorged and poking out from under its hood.

I made to move down and taste her when she said, "No, 
Mulder.  Not now.  I want you inside me."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  I 
maneuvered between her legs and she lifted them to 
wrap around my hips.  I took my weight on my elbows 
and kissed her silly while my cock found her entrance 
and seated itself there between her slick, spongy 
lips.

My cock felt like it was on fire and it throbbed and 
ached from being so hard.  The sensation was 
incredible.  I worried about my endurance.  "Slow or 
fast?" I asked.

She seemed to consider it for a moment and then said, 
"Fast, I want to feel that monster all at once."

"Christ!  I love you so much," I said through 
clenched teeth.  I gathered my strength, bracing my 
knees on the bed and then plunged completely into 
her, feeling my wide, sensitive head reach the back 
of her canal and bang into her cervix, and then push 
it upwards.

"Oh. My. God!" she shouted.

She was so small and it was like I'd stuck my dick in 
a hot little furnace, feeling her tight, elastic 
walls stretch to accommodate me.

XXXXXXXXXX

What had I been thinking telling him to do it all at 
once and fast?  I'd seen how big he was, how thick.  
I knew I hadn't had sex in a long time, but I hadn't 
expected to be so tight.

"Christ!  I love you so much," he'd ground out, 
obviously excited by my request.

Then he'd done it, plunged his entire long, hard, 
massively thick erection completely into me.  I'd 
arched my back and screamed as I felt him plow deeply 
into my canal and bang into my cervix like a freight 
train and keep going, stretching the incredibly 
strong muscle upwards to get all of it in.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked anxiously.  He was very 
still, but didn't pull back to relieve the pressure 
his cock was causing by pushing my cervix back toward 
my womb.  I'd never been stretched like this.

I shook my head in the negative.  "Don't move for a 
sec."

"Hadn't planned on it," he croaked.

I giggled and he groaned.  "Don't do that!"

I bit down on my mirth, feeling my walls quivering 
from the sudden invasion and struggling to relax.  
Instead they were vibrating with the strain of his 
penetration.  I could feel the soreness in my tunnel 
already and moaned, wondering how bad it was going to 
be.  Good thing we weren't going to work today.

My whole body was tense but I wanted it so bad.  
Finally I relaxed the rest of my body and said, 
"Move, do it, Mulder."

He pulled back slowly until just the flared head of 
his penis was tugging on the entrance to my lips from 
the inside.  Then he plunged back in, quickly and 
hard.  I shouted, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"  Every 
thrust elicited a barely coherent shout from me.  I 
seemed to be stuck on those two words. 

The intense sensations of his enormous erection 
penetrating hard and deep had me thrashing and 
screaming in ecstasy in no time.  The irony was he 
was still going slow, his thrusts were just steady 
and hard as he snapped his hips, burying himself 
fully until his balls slapped my ass.  Then he would 
retreat slowly.

I was babbling and didn't care.  "Oh Jesus, Mulder.  
Yes, that's it, oh, just like that.  Oh Lord.  Fuck 
me.  Fuck me.  Fuck me.  Oh, don't stop.  Oh geez, oh 
God, oh shit, here it comes.  Don't stop!  Here it 
comes."

Suddenly the pressure that was building inside me 
burst and I arched my back, involuntarily shoving 
myself onto his cock.  I shrieked a wordless cry as 
my climax ripped through me, making my body throb and 
writhe with a pleasure so intense, it was close to 
pain.  He kept stroking through my orgasm, prolonging 
it by grinding that thick pole against my pubic bone 
and crushing my clitoris.  It was literally 
vibrating. 

He stopped as I came down and waited for me to 
compose myself.  "Holy shit, Mulder," I mumbled.

He kissed me slowly and tenderly, his tongue rolling 
languidly over mine and I felt an electric zing rush 
into my chest.  I had just come harder than I ever 
had in my life and he was arousing me with a simple 
kiss.  He was sweating, but didn't look like he was 
wiped out.  He was still massively hard inside me.

He locked his gaze with mine and said, "That was the 
most erotic thing I've ever seen.  Fuck, you're 
beautiful when you come."

I whimpered.  "Now you."

He shook his head.  "Not yet."

"What do you mean?"

He gave me a sly smile and winked.  He simply said, 
"Again."

My body trembled as he drew almost completely out of 
me and stroked into me again.  His thrust was hard, 
and he twisted his hips, grinding into my clitoris, 
pushing so deep I thought I would burst.

It hurt a little, but it was a good hurt, an erotic 
hurt.  He didn't speed up this time either, but began 
withdrawing slowly, pushing back in hard and deep, 
twisting at the bottom of his plunge.  It was like he 
was trying to dig his cock into my womb.

I bucked and howled as every measured thrust 
intensified the pain-laced pleasure.  I could hear 
myself whimpering, but that was the only sound I 
could make anymore.  Then I felt it, coming like a 
slow, inevitable tidal wave.  I was going to come 
again, and I was going to come hard.

He propped up on one forearm and reached between us.  
His hand slid over my tummy, almost completely 
covering it.  He felt so damn good.  Just when I 
thought it couldn't get any better, his fingers found 
my clitoris and pushed it against our joining as he 
plunged in, twisting his cock under it, and holding 
it down from above.

My entire body went into spasms as I began to groan 
loudly and thrash beneath his big body.  He kept up 
his hard, twisting thrusts as white lights erupted 
behind my eyelids and my core walls collapsed on his 
invading shaft with a power I didn't know they had.  

I found breath enough to shout, "Mulder!  Come with 
me!"

He grunted and began stroke into me a little faster.  
I was over the edge and still quivering when he 
raised my legs up higher on his waist, nearly pushing 
my knees into the mattress.  He hiked up further onto 
his knees and began his hard thrusting again, no 
longer slowly withdrawing.  

He was entering me at an angle, hitting my G-spot and 
crushing my clitoris.  I was so sensitive from my two 
climaxes, that it didn't take much.  About five 
plunges later, I felt my body spasm and being to 
climax again.  "OH FUCK!" I shouted.

I hit a peak, and then another, and then another.  It 
wasn't stopping.  The pleasure was moving into a 
whole other level.  I was tender and sore and 
quivering from my orgasm when he finally bellowed, 
"Here it comes, Scully.  Gonna fill you so full."

Then he plunged deep and held himself there.  I felt 
his shaft throb, expand and then jerk, releasing a 
rush of sperm.  He pulsed hotly, and shouted, "So 
good!"  That was all he could get out.

He grimaced with each thrust, and I watched as he 
ejaculated long and hard, his body twitching and 
shuddering above mine.

XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

He was finally done and collapsed onto me.  "Sweet 
Jesus, Scully," he whispered.

I ran my hand over his sweaty hair.  "That was 
incredible, beyond words.  I'm speechless," I 
babbled.

He raised his head and leaned in to kiss me.  He was 
slow and tender again.  "You make me crazy, Scully."

I smiled.  "The feeling's mutual.  I've never come 
like that before."

"You've never come more than once a night?"

"Only once before and it was a fluke, I think," I 
answered honestly.
 
He chuckled.  "Glad I could oblige," he teased.

I cupped his face and finally said it out loud.  "I 
love you, Mulder."

He gave me a huge, happy smile at the same time 
silent tears began coursing down his cheeks.  I 
pulled his face down and kissed them away.  We began 
to make out again, his fingers finding and playing 
with my sensitive nipples.

I groaned as I felt my pussy convulse and push out 
his now flaccid penis.  He gasped and said, "I need a 
shower."

"I need another one."

"Want to join me?"

"You bet."

"Scully, you don't regret this, do you?"

I shook my head.  "No, Mulder.  I love you.  I'm 
sorry we waited this long."

He smiled and slid out of bed onto his feet, holding 
out his hand.  I took it and he tugged me up to my 
feet.  It was shower time.  I was already wondering 
what kind of fun we could have in the shower.



XXXXXXXXXX

PART 4 (NC-17)

MAGGIE SCULLY'S HOUSE
TWO MONTHS LATER
DECEMBER 25TH

I couldn't remember the last time I'd had such a good 
time on a holiday.  Usually they were spent alone, 
brooding about all the things I didn't have.  

Not this year.  I was sitting at the Scully family 
table with Maggie and Skinner, Scully and her two 
brothers and their wives and kids.  I met Charlie for 
the first time earlier this evening.  He was so much 
like Scully that I liked him instantly.  He was 
nothing like Bill.  He seemed to be a joker and very 
laid back.  Bill was still sitting fairly rigidly in 
his chair.

I was unsure if that was because he was tense, or 
because he was a military man and always sat that 
way.  Charlie's wife, Rena had been chattering away 
to Scully throughout dinner.  I had just been 
relaxing while I ate and tuning into what was being 
said between them.

"Everything is delicious, Maggie," I complimented.

She smiled and said, "Thank you, Fox.  I'm so glad 
you could come this year."

"Me**,** too.  Thanks for inviting me."

"I always invite you," she scolded lightly.

I smiled at her and said, "I know and I appreciate 
it."

Bill chose that moment to break into the 
conversation.  "You've never come before.  What 
changed your mind this year?" he asked, his tone only 
slightly hostile.

I swallowed, wondering what to say.  Maggie and 
Skinner knew we were a couple, but the brothers 
Scully did not.  I had left the timing of that 
announcement totally up to Scully.

I cleared my throat as the table went silent.  They 
had heard the slight hostility in Bill's voice.  I 
could tell Charlie and Rena were wondering about it.  
Skinner had tensed, as had Scully.  Maggie was 
frowning fiercely at him.  She spoke up, "Bill, you 
will watch your tone at my dinner table.  Fox is an 
invited guest in this house."

He looked at his plate but frowned.  I decided to be 
honest.  One thing I wasn't going to do was hide from 
this confrontation, which was inevitable.  I didn't 
want to have it here at Maggie's holiday dinner 
table, but it seemed that Bill was determined to make 
things tense for everyone.  I decided it was time to 
settle it once and for all.  

Before opening my mouth though, I looked at Scully 
and raised my eyebrows.  She nodded firmly, 
indicating that I had the go ahead to say whatever I 
needed to say.

I cleared my throat again and Bill looked up.  
"Well?" he coaxed.

"I usually never came in the past because you made me 
feel unwelcome," I said simply.  He flinched and I 
continued.  "I didn't see a need to put everyone 
through the tension."

My statement was met with stunned silence and 
everyone looked at Bill, waiting for his response.  
"My question is the same," he said finally.  "What 
changed your mind?"

"I'm here to stay in your sister's life, whether you 
like it or not, Bill.  I have no intention of staying 
away, or keeping Scully away from her family.  It has 
to start somewhere."

"You are a real asshole, you know that?" he blurted 
out.

"William Ryan Scully, Jr.!" Maggie barked.

He looked only slightly chagrined.  "Why?" he asked 
fiercely.  "Why won't you get out of her life?  Why 
won't you let her go?"

I swallowed harshly and then took a deep breath.  I 
forced myself to look him in the eyes.  When I was 
sure I had his attention, I said, "Because I can't.  
I'm in love with her."

A couple of gasps were heard around the table.  I 
think one was from Charlie.  "WHAT?" Bill bellowed.  
He looked at Scully.  "What does he mean?"

Scully shrugged casually.  "Just what he said, Bill.  
He's in love with me.  I'm in love with him.  Even if 
he tried to toss me to the curb, I wouldn't leave.  I 
want to be with Mulder.  So get used to it."

"This is insane.  Do you know how much grief he has 
caused this family?  Of course you do!  You should!"

I was waiting for Scully to get angry.  She surprised 
me when she said, "It's not your decision Bill.  You 
have a very wrong impression of Mulder and who he is 
and what he means to me.  Now is not the time for 
this discussion.  Let it go."

"You're in love with him?" he asked, his voice as 
close to a whine as I'd ever heard it. 

"Yes, for the first time in my life, I'm truly in 
love, Bill.  I wish you could be happy for me but if 
you can't, too bad.  It doesn't change anything."

Charlie made a huffing noise and our attention turned 
to him.  "She's got you there, Bill.  She doesn't 
need your permission.  I don't see what the big deal 
is anyway.  Why can't you ever be civil?"  He turned 
to look at Scully and me and said, "I, for one, am 
very happy for you."

Scully beamed him her full smile with teeth and 
blurted out our big announcement.  "Thanks, Charlie.  
That's good, because I may need your help."

"My help?" he asked, now looking confused.

"Yes, we were going to make an announcement tonight 
and this seems like a good a time as any."

Everyone went still.  I heard Bill breathe out a 
soft, "No, Dana."

She grinned from ear to ear and held up her left 
hand.  She must have had the ring in her pocket.  It 
was a fat, platinum band with a three carat round cut 
diamond perched on top.  It glinted in the lights of 
the room.  Rena gasped and nearly bounced in her 
chair.  

Dana said, "Yes.  We're getting married."

"NO!" Bill nearly shouted.

Scully's face fell.  I watched Bill flinch and say 
under his breath, "Ow."

I couldn't help smiling when I realized Tara had 
kicked him under the table.  She was giving him a 
death glare, warning him to shut up.  

Charlie smiled.  "That's fantastic, Dana!  I'm so 
happy for you.  Congratulations, both of you.  It's 
about time, Dana."

She smiled even harder at him, blushing slightly and 
I found it adorable.  She was determined to ignore 
her other brother's foul disposition.

Charlie asked, "You said you would need my help?"

Scully pressed her lips together and said, "Well, 
since Bill obviously doesn't want to be happy for me, 
I'll need somebody to walk me down the aisle and give 
me away."

Charlie grinned.  "I'd be honored."

"Dana!  You can't do that!" Bill cried out.

Tara finally spoke up and said, "Bill, shut up.  You 
dug your own grave with this one.  Now, just be quiet 
before you make a total ass out of yourself."  She 
turned to us.  "Congratulations, you two."

"Thanks, Tara."

I looked over to see Maggie and Skinner chuckling.  
"What's so funny?" I asked.

Skinner smiled, something he did a lot more of lately 
and said, "Congratulations, Agents.  I knew it was 
only a matter of time.  It's ironic that you chose 
tonight to make your announcement."

"Why's that?" I asked.

Maggie interrupted and said, "Because we were 
planning on making an announcement of our own."

I looked at Bill and literally saw the color drain 
from his face.  "No, oh please, no, don't tell me ... 
Ma ..."

He flinched and I knew Tara had kicked him again. 

Maggie beamed and held up her own hand.  No one had 
noticed, or she had pulled the same trick Scully did 
and had it in her pocket until the opportune moment.  
There on her hand was a gold engagement band, with an 
emerald-cut diamond on it.  It was only slightly 
smaller than Scully's. 

"No shit!" I said, unable to stop the grin that 
spread across my face.

"This is unreal!" Bill shouted.  "You've all gone 
crazy!  Ma, how can you do this?"

Her face went somber.  "Last time I checked, I was a 
grown woman, Billy, not to mention the fact that I am 
mother.  Whether you like my decisions or not, you 
will respect me in my home.  If you can't do that, 
then I'll have to ask you to leave."

"You can't be serious!" he bellowed.
 
"Bill, stop this nonsense right now!" Tara demanded.

"You've all gone fucking crazy!" he shouted again, 
jumping to his feet.

Maggie stood up, nearly knocking her chair over.  
"That's it.  OUT!"  She pointed to the doorway.

"Ma!" he cried, looking at her in shock. 

Her face was stern.  "I'm celebrating today, William.  
Celebrating Christmas, celebrating your sister's 
engagement, and celebrating my engagement.  If you 
can't participate in that without being belligerent 
and profane, then you can leave.  I will not have you 
ruining my happiness or your sister's."  

He looked completely shocked.  He opened and closed 
his mouth several times and then turned on his heel 
and started to leave the room.  He stopped and 
shouted, "You'll be sorry!"

Dana looked him square in the eye and said, "No, 
Bill.  I'll never be sorry at all."  

He made a sound of disgust and stormed out of the 
room.

Tara looked at the table and whispered, "I'm so 
sorry, Maggie."

"Don't you worry about it, dear.  You and Matty are 
welcome to stay, even if he leaves.  I'm sure someone 
will take you home later.  He may wish differently 
sometimes, but I'm the only mother he has."

I couldn't stop the chuckle that came from my throat.  
I could tell that she was upset, though.  

"I'll talk to him," Tara said.  "I'm sorry we ruined 
dinner."  She stood up and looked at us.  
"Congratulations, all of you.  Merry Christmas."

Maggie's smile was sad.  "You didn't ruin anything, 
dear."

She nodded, obviously feeling responsible for Bill 
and thinking Maggie was humoring her.  She gathered 
up Matthew and left the room quickly.  Silence 
descended for several moments. 

I couldn't stand it anymore and said, "Well, I'm 
thrilled and think it's terrific!  Congratulations, 
you two."

Skinner smiled softly and put his arm around Maggie, 
obviously knowing she was upset as well and trying 
not to show it.  He kissed her temple and said, 
"He'll come around.  Wait and see."

She nodded.  "Let's have dessert."

XXXXXXXXXX

Despite the upset at the dinner table, the rest of 
evening went well.  Charlie and Rena and their kids 
floated the conversation for a while until the rest 
of us relaxed enough to join in.  Finally, they had 
all left and we were sitting on the couch sipping 
coffee.  

Maggie looked at me and smiled and said, "I love you, 
Walter."

I felt something melt inside my chest, the way it did 
every time I heard those words come out of her mouth.  
"I love you too.  God, Maggie, you have no idea.  I'm 
sorry about Bill, but I really do think he'll come 
around."

"I'm sorry he felt inclined to put on that little 
display, Walter.  I don't need my children's 
blessings, but I'll be honest.  It hurts that he 
can't be happy for me."

We set our coffee cups down on the coffee table and I 
pulled her to me.  She reclined on my arm, her head 
on my shoulder.  "Charlie said he would talk to him, 
and Tara will too.  When he realizes it's a choice 
between accepting it or losing his relationship with 
both you and Dana, he will come around.  He loves 
you."

She sniffled.  "I know.  I wonder where I went wrong 
with him.  He loves me, and Dana, but he never 
learned to love unconditionally.  He never learned to 
live and let live, to let other people be who they 
are."

"What about Tara?" I asked.

She shrugged.  "She's the love of his life, all 
right, but she's not a Scully woman.  She's much more 
timid, which suits him fine.  I honestly can't say 
whether he loves her unconditionally or not."

I lifted her chin with two fingers.  "Well, I love 
you unconditionally, unruly children or no," I 
teased.

She smiled and leaned up to kiss me.  I tipped my 
head down and deepened the kiss, feeling the familiar 
tingling in my groin that erupted every time she 
kissed me.

She made a wonderful, little, soft moaning sound in 
the back of her throat and I felt myself harden.  
"Want to go to bed?" I asked, after breaking the 
kiss.

She pretended to contemplate for a few seconds and 
then said, "I don't know.  What did you have in 
mind?"

I waggled my eyebrows at her and said, "Making love 
to my fiancé."

She breathed out through pursed lips and said, "Wow.  
That's sounds so weird."

"Good weird, or bad weird?" I inquired.

"Good weird," she replied, smiling again.

"Then come on.  Let's the hit the bedroom and be 
weird together."

XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

She laughed as I rose and hauled her up off the couch 
to follow me.  We climbed the stairs and quickly 
undressed.  I laid her gently on the bed and kissed 
her, moving to her neck and then down to her breasts.  
My fingers found her juncture and I played with her 
until she was wet for me.

"Now, Walter," she breathed out.

I felt a surge in my shaft and positioned myself 
between her legs, taking my weight on my elbows.  I 
pushed into her, feeling her hot walls envelop my 
shaft.  We both moaned.  I decided to keep it slow 
and lazy and thrust gently, building up slowly, 
kissing her deeply and enjoying the sensations.  

She gasped and asked, "Can I be on top?"

"Of course," I said and complied by rolling over, and 
taking her with me.  I slipped out and hissed as the 
cold air hit my cock.  

She straddled me and picked it up, aiming it at her 
center and gently sat down on me.  I groaned and 
whispered, "God, you feel so good."

"You go so deep this way," she said. 

She'd finally relaxed during sex.  I'd encouraged her 
to ask for what she wanted.  Apparently, her husband 
had been a very traditional kind of guy and she'd 
never felt she could ask for what she wanted.  Not so 
now.  I wanted her to feel free with me.

She began to speed up, bouncing on my shaft and I 
held her hips steady.  I felt my balls tightening at 
last and moaned, "Oh God, I'm almost there."

That made her speed up more.  I took one hand and 
reached up to gently roll her nipple in my fingers.  
She gasped loudly and then went still.  "Oh God, 
Walter!" she shouted, and starting lifting and 
slamming herself down fully on my cock.

I felt her walls tighten and then shudder against my 
shaft.  I couldn't hold it anymore and I let go, 
shouting as I felt cum surge up my shaft and pour 
into her.  "Maggie!  God, so good!"

XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX

She collapsed on my chest, breathing hard.  We 
weren't as young as we used to be, but we still had 
plenty of gas.  I petted her hair while we waiting 
for our breathing to return to normal.  I pulled the 
covers up around us and she snuggled against me, 
humming with contentment.  It amazed me that I had 
put that look on her face.

I squeezed her tight and she said, "I'm so happy for 
Dana and Fox."

"Me too.  They deserve some happiness after all 
they've gone through."

"Yes, they do.  So do we."

"I think we've all finally found it."

"No regrets?" she asked.

"None.  You?"

"Not a one."

"I love you," I declared again. 

"I love you too," she said quietly and fell asleep 
sprawled on my chest like someone had flicked a 
switch.  Mulder had mentioned this proclivity in 
Scully and now I knew all about it.  She got it from 
her mother.  I lay awake for another half hour 
enjoying feeling her slight weight on my chest and 
her warm skin on mine.  

I finally fell asleep wondering what the weddings 
would be like.

THE END.