TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN- 1/7 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN E-MAIL: philer@onemain.com RATING: R/NC-17 KEYWORDS: MSR; RST; SPOILERS: Never Again SUMMARY: Scully and Mulder encounter a return of Ed Jerse and their relationship is tested. DISCLAIMERS: Please sue me. I'd love my fifteen minutes. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place sometime in the spring of 1999, Season Six. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX LANDESSA MENTAL HEALTH CENTER PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA Spring, 1999 The ding of the elevator made her jump, Mulder looking at her, noticing her sensitive nerves. "Scully, there's no reason to be nervous. This is just one of your many X- Files; you should be used to this by now," Mulder commented, his penchant for nasty sarcasm making its periodic appearance. 'Just once', she thought; just once she wished Mulder would be understanding, comforting instead of providing smart-assed ridicule when she was reacting normally to a stressful situation. Just once. They entered the hearing room, an average meeting room that had probably been the location of hearings like this one more times than anyone could remember. But it was something she had never done before, testified at a sanity hearing. And she was nervous, nervous about what questions might be asked of her and knowing that the honest answer to some of those questions could easily be answers she didn't want to talk about, especially not in public. She hadn't exactly been proud of some of her behavior. Despite herself, Scully looked around until she saw him, seeing him sitting in the front at a table with two other men, his lawyers she assumed. Ed Jerse. A man she had never really thought about seeing again, but here she was, subpoenaed to testify whether she wanted to or not. And she didn't want to. She had closed that chapter of her life, a time she wanted to forget. After Jerse's murderous rage had been found to be the result of the ergot in the rye used in the dye of his tattoo, he had been hospitalized in a mental health facility. He had been at the Landessa Mental Health Facility for almost three years and had been a model patient, desperately remorseful for what he had done, but unable to recall most of it. As Scully sat listening to his testimony, she wondered if he would even remember her, remember what he almost did to her, what they had done together. "We call FBI Special Agent Dana Scully to the stand," the state had announced. But she couldn't make herself testify against him. She simply told the truth, confirming that the ergot poisoning could indeed cause psychosis and that Jerse was not likely in control of himself when he committed his crimes against her and the woman who lived in his building. All the while she was testifying, all she could think about was that it could've been her who had suffered from the ergotism that had so severely affected Ed Jerse and she could've been the one who lost control to the point he had. When she got up from the stand after finishing her testimony, she finally glanced at Jerse and could see that he was crying. "I can't believe you defended him, Scully. He tried to kill you," Mulder said as they walked toward the car after the hearing. "I told the truth, Mulder. I'm sorry you can't see that," she said, irritated at his chastisement of her. Mulder looked at her with disbelief, his memory of seeing her in the hospital undergoing dialysis to remove the ergot from her system, her face swollen and bruised, her spirit almost broken, flashing through his mind. "What I see is what Ed Jerse did to you and now he's back out on the street." "What will putting him in jail do for him, Mulder? Or society for that matter?" she asked pointedly. "He received a large amount of a very dangerous drug unbeknownst to him. He would've never done what he did if that hadn't happened. You heard his record; he didn't have one. He was an honest, educated man with a job and a family. He had no history of violence and isn't likely to commit any in the future." Scully wasn't sure why she seemed to be defending Jerse to Mulder, except that maybe it made her association with him seem like a simple case of bad luck rather than a major error in judgment, exactly what she knew Mulder thought it was. They were almost silent on the red eye back to Washington, Scully wishing she'd gone by herself and not even asked Mulder to come along. She hated it when he got in one of his pissy moods, seemingly just using her to bounce insults off of. He very rarely acted like that, but on the few occasions when he did, it cut her to the bone. They had been like that at the time of the Jerse case, too, she had remembered. And her irritation at him had led her to become involved with Ed Jerse, almost a fatal mistake. Scully hated it when she and Mulder weren't getting along, when things would grow tense between them for who knows what reason. She had never really figured out why Mulder's moods would sometimes turn ugly. Sometimes it seemed like they would surface when he had his feelings hurt or felt emotionally threatened in some way. There were times when it seemed like he was jealous. But jealous of what? Whom? Why would he be jealous in relation to anything she did? They weren't involved; he didn't care anything about her except as a working partner, so what was it to him what she did? Sometimes she wondered why she stayed with him and this, sadly, seemed to be one of those times. THE LINCOLN CENTER WASHINGTON, DC Three weeks later "I love Vivaldi. His music is so vibrant," Cathy said as they exited the hall. "Yeah. I played part of 'The Four Seasons' at my first violin recital," Scully chuckled, remembering how proud she'd been, more of her new dress than her musical talent. "You played violin?" her friend Cathy asked, surprised by Scully's apparently hidden talent. "'Played' being the operative word. I was terrible," Scully confessed, pulling her jacket closed in response to the cool breeze when they stepped outside. Scully and her friend were enjoying their conversation as they walked down the street, heading for a small coffee shop only a few blocks away. What they didn't notice was the man who was watching them as they approached. They each ordered a cappuccino and found a small table near the window. Scully liked seeing Cathy, being out for a night of culture and conversation. She had made up her mind that she needed to separate herself some from Mulder, renew some of her old interests. It felt freeing. She had let herself develop feelings for Mulder, deep feelings, but knew he didn't reciprocate them and she couldn't hang on forever. His romantic indifference to her seemed to make her even lonelier than if she didn't care about him. Not having something you want is far worse than wanting nothing. Scully and her friend were enjoying a good laugh when she noticed someone approach their table, but didn't really look up until a voice spoke. "Hello, Dana." Scully was stunned to look up and see Ed Jerse standing there, dressed very nicely in a suit and tie. "Enjoy the symphony?" he asked. "Um, Ed, um, this is a surprise," Scully said, not knowing what to say. "What are you doing in Washington?" she managed to ask, composing herself. "I got a job here. I wanted to make a fresh start," he told her, almost timidly. "Well, I'll let you get back to your coffee. I just wanted to say 'Hello'." Scully suddenly felt bad for him, knew he could sense her reticence and she didn't mean to seem rude. "Um, you can join us if you'd like," Scully found herself saying, not really knowing why. Ed seemed surprised, but took her up on her offer and the three of them had a nice conversation. After another cup of coffee and fairly comfortable conversation, they said their good-byes and each headed to their cars. But just as Scully had crossed the street to her car, Ed walked up beside her. "Sorry, Dana," he said as she startled somewhat at his appearance. "I, uh, just wanted to talk to you privately, try to explain things." "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Ed," she said, finding herself looking squarely at him and seeing sincerity there. "Please. I won't take long. Let me buy you another cup of coffee and explain a few things. Please," he said, his voice calm and earnest and she found herself agreeing and they headed back across the street. DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Later that week When Mulder knocked at the door, she was talking on the phone as she let him in, walking away from him to finish her conversation. He could sense that it was personal, so like any other respecting man, he eavesdropped. "Um, sure. I think that sounds good. See you at eight then," she said, turning the phone off before joining him in the living room. "You're not going to believe this, Scully, but I was able to get a meeting with Dr. Stuart. He said he'd take a look at everything we found in Antarctica and Arizona. He agreed to see us tomorrow evening," Mulder told her. "Tomorrow? I can't Mulder. Not tomorrow," Scully replied, not explaining why. Mulder looked at her, almost disbelieving that she hadn't just gone along with what he had planned for them. "But Scully, this is the leading cryptozoologist in the country, probably the world. He doesn't agree to meet with just anyone." "You can tell me what he said on Friday," she said, moving from her place on the couch to go to the kitchen. "You want something to drink?" "What's going on? What's such a big deal on Thursday that you'd blow off this opportunity?" he said, his voice slightly accusing, irritated at her indifference. "I'm not 'blowing it off', Mulder. You should've checked with me before making out my schedule. I already have plans for Thursday," she said calmly, getting a bottle of mineral water from her refrigerator, offering him one. "No, thanks. What, you got a big date or something?" he asked, a noticeable edge to his voice. "I really don't think that's any of your business, Mulder," she said, leaning against the counter as she took a drink of her water. "It's personal." "Personal... I see. Well, it's my business when you leave me holding the bag with something important for our work," he said. Scully looked at him, fully irritated by now at his non-acceptance of her decision. "First of all, I'm not sure how related to our current work this is and secondly, I don't see how I'm leaving you holding the bag when I didn't even know about this big 'meeting' until ten minutes ago," she told him firmly. "Maybe you should've thought about consulting me first." Mulder stared at her for several long seconds, Scully not backing down from his gaze. "Fine, I'll go myself," he said, turning to leave. And without looking at her again, he added, "Have fun on your date," as he exited the door. Scully let out a heavy sigh, wishing that things didn't have to be so tense between her and Mulder, but finding some comfort in the fact that she had stood her ground. She was going to have a life for herself. THE MORRIS HOUSE RESTAURANT ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA Thursday evening "This feels strange," Scully admitted honestly, not sure how she felt about having dinner with Jerse, not really knowing why she even agreed to do it. They had a nice dinner and she found the conversation surprisingly easy, remembering that she had enjoyed Ed's company in Philadelphia before things had turned upside down. She had found herself attracted to him then, the dangerous edge he seemed to have making her feel adventurous, alive. An aspect of his personality that she hadn't been witness to before was his humor and his ability to laugh at himself. Of course, as he explained, he wasn't exactly in a humorous frame of mind the last time she had been with him. He had just gone through a bitter divorce and had lost his job and was at a very low ebb in his life. "Things are better now," he told her. "I, um, had weekend passes for the last year of my, um, 'residency'", he chuckled. "And was able to see my kids and that helps to get a person's priorities straight." He talked for a long time about his son and his daughter and Scully could tell that he loved them very much. "But I'll never be able to get over what I did, Dana, no matter what the cause. I think it must be kind of like a car wreck where someone is killed. It's kind of your fault, but yet it isn't, but you still will feel absolutely terrible about it for the rest of your life..." "Ed...," Scully started, not exactly knowing what to say to console him, remembering the terrible things he had done, but touched deeply by his profound remorse. She knew what he'd done hadn't been his fault. "I hope you know that I understand what happened. I'm a doctor and I know what ergot poisoning can do to a person... any person." "I just want you to know that I'm not a crazy person..." he confessed, his voice almost cracking. "I don't think that, I don't, Ed," Scully said, touching his hand for emphasis. "That could've just as easily been me who did what you did. It's just that my tattoo didn't have a fraction of the red dye yours had." "You really mean that? You don't think any of it was in my control?" "No... I don't," she answered sincerely. "Thank you, Dana. It's meant a lot to me to clear things with you. This has been eating at me for almost three years," he said, a sad laugh to his voice. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. I truly don't remember it, but I don't doubt that it happened. And I am sorry. Very sorry." "Then let's just forget about all of it. It happened; you paid a price and it's over. So, if it's okay with you, let's just leave the past in the past and move on. Okay?" Scully said, giving him a soft smile. "Okay," he agreed, returning her small smile. "How about dessert?" X-FILES OFFICE J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING Three weeks later The next morning after her dinner out with Ed Jerse, Mulder was his usual self, still on a high from his meeting with the famous Dr. Stuart, but sending a few snide barbs her direction about her 'date'. But he wouldn't tell her much about what he and the Professor had talked about, seemingly wanting her to ask. But she didn't, truly not really caring all that much. She had tried to forget what little bit she remembered about Antarctica and was so weary of the topic of aliens, she would've been very happy if the word was dropped from the English language. But by the next week, Mulder had been in an exceptionally sweet mood. He was so easy to be around when he was like that, when the attentive, kind part of his personality was in the forefront and his sarcasm was saved for those who deserved it. Mulder had a sneaking suspicion that Scully was seeing someone. He noticed that she was receiving a few more personal phone calls, that she wasn't home in the evening when he had called her or dropped by with pizza. And he hated it. He was used to her being there when he wanted her, needed her and, deep down, knew he was jealous. "I, uh, stopped by with take-out last night, Scully, but, uh, you weren't home," he said tentatively, feeling like a timid teenager trying to talk to the cute girl in the class. "No, I wasn't," she answered noncommittally and immediately felt bad that she wasn't leveling with him. She looked at him for a moment and realized she owed him some honesty, not that he would probably care what she had been doing. She closed the file she was looking at and motioned for him to sit at his desk and moved to sit opposite him. "I guess I need to tell you something, Mulder," she started. Mulder could feel his heart rate begin to pick up, knowing by the tone in her voice that what she was going to tell him wasn't something he was going to want to hear. "I've been seeing someone," she said, getting directly to the point. "I know," he answered immediately, not able to hide the sadness in his voice. "You know?" "You sound surprised," he smiled. "Well, actually I am. I didn't think you noticed much of anything I did, away from here anyway," she told him, honestly feeling that way. "I notice everything you do, Scully," he said before he caught himself. "Is this serious?" he asked her quickly, diverting her attention from his previous statement. Scully thought a moment before answering, not yet having asked herself that question. "I've seen him several times. I enjoy being with him." "Is it serious?" Mulder asked again, his voice taking on a bit of an edge. He looked directly at her, hoping against hope that she wouldn't confirm that it was. "Mulder..." "What, can't you answer that?" "Honestly, I don't know what business it is of yours one way or the other," she told him, not really meaning it, but finding herself saying it anyway. "Why would you care?" "Why would I care? Why would I care?" he asked, his voice escalating. "If you don't know why I would care, then I guess there's nothing more to say, then, is there?" he finished. He stood from his chair, grabbing his jacket to leave; unable to admit to her just how much he did care, but just leaving her sitting there alone. Mulder's mind was spinning as he left Hoover, unable to process what Scully had confirmed. Shit. Why had she felt the need to start a relationship with someone, someone other than him? Why now? What had changed? Had he done something to lead her to believe that their relationship had become something different than it had always been? He always thought they had an 'understanding', that they'd have time to take their relationship further... sometime. CAMDEN YARDS BALTIMORE, MARYLAND Two weeks later Luckily, she and Mulder hadn't had much time together in the office, Mulder having buried himself in the archival records researching something or other for Dr. Stuart, Scully doing a couple of autopsies for the Behavioral Sciences Unit and trying to finish an article for a forensics journal. She had continued to spend an increasing amount of time with Ed, but continuing to reserve time for herself. "I know this is hardly the date of your dreams, Dana, but it beats pizza and a DVD," he joked as he handed her a beer. "Actually, this is closer to the date of my dreams than you may realize," she smiled to him, taking a sip of her beer. Ed was working as a clerk in a brokerage firm, but, having been a broker, knew what he was missing and wished he could be back in the market race. And not just because he liked the work, but also because he needed the money. Washington was an expensive place to live and he wanted to be able to take Scully to nicer places, treat her like he felt she deserved. "I'm hoping they'll give me a chance as a broker again. Then maybe we can do more than have a hot dog and a beer," he joked, but Scully knew he meant it. "Please don't put yourself down, Ed. I just enjoy being with you; the place doesn't much matter," she smiled, leaning to give him a small kiss. They had been seeing a lot of each other, but they had kept things light, mostly, having a few intense kissing sessions but not progressing much physically beyond that. Not that Scully hadn't thought about it. She often missed being physically loved by a man. But Ed hadn't made the first move and, for some reason, she found herself hesitant to do so herself. "I hope you mean that for a while," he chuckled. "Ed, really, I do. Money doesn't impress me, but how a person makes use of their time does. We only have so much of it to use," she said, Ed totally unaware of Scully's other brushes with death. They had a great time at the game, despite the Orioles loss to the Yankees. Silently, Scully had wondered if Mulder was somewhere in the stadium watching his precious Yankees, but didn't think long about it. "You know, Dana, I found this nice little Italian place downtown that a co-worker recommended. Maybe we could try it tomorrow night," Ed suggested as they sat in post-game traffic. "I have a better idea," Scully smiled. "I haven't cooked in a long time, really cooked, I mean. How about we spend an evening at my place; you bring the DVD." DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Saturday evening "Hi, Scully, it's me," came the familiar voice over the telephone. Scully had the phone between her ear and her shoulder, trying to keep up with three different pots cooking on her stove. "Yeah, what's up?" she asked, her thoughts aimed at her culinary balancing act. "Is this a bad time?" he asked, sensing Scully was preoccupied with something else. "Well, I am kinda busy," she told him, stirring her Alfredo sauce. Mulder sighed audibly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to impose." But Scully could hear the facetiousness dripping from his statement. "You're not. Has something come up?" she asked, wondering why he was calling on a Saturday night, figuring it had to be something with work. "Is that the only reason you think I'd call-- if something had 'come up'?" he said, his tone getting sharper. Scully thought a moment before answering, "Well, yeah, isn't it?" Mulder laughed and she knew it wasn't because he thought what she said was particularly humorous, but because he wanted her to know he was laughing at her. "Sure. Of course you're right. It couldn't be because I thought I might come by with dinner from Antonio's, but just forget about it." "Mulder, you don't have to get mad, but I'm trying to cook dinner here," she said, getting frustrated with his attitude. "Oh, now I see. The new boyfriend is coming by for a home cooked meal," he said snottily. "How domestic of you, Scully." Scully decided she wouldn't be evasive this time, but, since he was being such an asshole, she'd just let him have it. "Not that it's any of your business, but, yes, he is and I've got to go if you don't really have anything to say." "Fine. Enjoy yourself," he said, hanging up on her. She clicked the phone off and slammed it down on the counter, mad at herself for letting him get to her. "Fuck you, Mulder," she said into the quiet of her kitchen. 'What the hell does he care what I'm doing?' she ruminated in her mind as she continued to work on her meal. 'If he showed the least bit of interest...' Scully had everything almost ready when she heard the doorbell ring, Ed showing up right on time. Even though she had told him he didn't need to bring anything but himself, he showed up with a lovely bouquet of flowers, remembering that she had said daisies were her favorite. He had kissed her lightly as soon as he'd arrived and seemed surprised when she had returned his kiss much more passionately. Meanwhile, Mulder stewed around his apartment for a while, knowing he had no hold on Scully, but still not liking the fact that she was making him realize that. 'Who in the hell is this guy?' he asked himself, realizing Scully hadn't even mentioned his name. His curiosity peaked; he decided he would just find out as he grabbed his jacket and left his apartment. "Wow, Dana, you have hidden talents," Ed teased, wiping his mouth with the linen napkin. Scully had gone all out; the good china, crystal, the real silver and Ed had seemed to appreciate it. "When you said we'd have an evening in, I was expecting something more like paper cartons," he kidded. Scully chuckled, "I know that's our usual fare, but I wanted to do something special... for you." Ed smiled and leaned over to give her a soft kiss, his eyes telling her he was sincerely touched. She had the feeling that no one had done anything nice for Ed Jerse in a long, long time. After dinner, they had gone outside for a walk, partially to work off the dinner Scully had definitely gone overboard on and partially just to enjoy each other and the brisk night air. "It's beautiful tonight," Scully said, looking up to see the star filled sky. "I hadn't noticed," Ed said, looking only at her, his soft smile letting her know what he meant as he took her hand in his. "I just want you to know how comfortable I feel with you, Dana. My, uh, life hasn't exactly been much of anything for the last several years and, truthfully, I can't believe I'm here with you." "Ed, come on, I've warned you about putting yourself down," Scully said, giving him a smile, but definitely not teasing him. "I'll be honest with you; I never imagined myself being here with you, either," she told him and they both laughed. "But I want you to know something else... I'm glad I'm here... with you," she told him. He stopped walking then and gathered her in his arms, kissing her, softly at first, but then pulling her tighter to him, intensifying their kiss. Scully felt her body respond, her heart pounding, her abdomen starting to feel heavy from arousal. She found herself wanting him, very much. Finally, they pulled apart, neither saying anything, but both turning around to head back towards her apartment. Mulder had pulled his car into a spot down the street from her building, looking up to see the lights on in her living room. So, he figured her date was still there, so he'd just wait until someone came out and he'd, at least, be able to get a license plate number and find out who this guy was. But just as Mulder had relaxed into the seat of his car, he saw Scully's familiar figure walking down the sidewalk, her arm wrapped around a man's waist, snuggled into his side as they walked closer towards her building. And as she walked nearer to the streetlight, Mulder finally got a good look at the man Scully had involved herself with and he felt his stomach roll. He couldn't believe his eyes-- Ed Jerse. Ed Jerse! "What the fuck are you thinking?" he said into the quiet of his car, but directed at Scully. Mulder sat in silence as he watched them walk into her apartment building, not really knowing what to do; also knowing that there really wasn't anything he could do. When Scully and Ed had reached the door of her apartment, he took the key from her and unlocked the door, Scully going in ahead of him. As soon as they were both in, Ed embraced her and they began kissing again, Ed's hands sliding down her back to cup her bottom. "I think I'd better go home," he said, his voice breathy, kissing her neck. "Or I may not be able to." Scully moved back from him just enough to make eye contact before she spoke. "Then stay..." "Dana..." he sighed, his effort to contain his arousal very apparent. "Don't say that unless you mean it... unless it's what you really want." "I want you to stay," she told him again, her voice barely above a whisper, moving to kiss him again. He moved back and looked at her deeply, seeing that she was sincere and gave her a simple nod, kissing her again. Ed locked up the apartment and Scully turned out the lights in the living room and kitchen before they moved to the bedroom. Scully felt overwhelmed by the physical arousal she was feeling, not having been with a man since Ethan, since she first started on the X-Files with Mulder. And as she and Ed began to undress each other, she realized how much she had missed it. Mulder sat silently in his car for a while after he'd watched the lights in her apartment go off. And he sat silently for a while longer after he realized Ed Jerse wasn't coming out. "Scully..." he sighed to himself, still not believing that she was really involved with someone else and almost unable to process the fact that that person was Ed Jerse. Continued in Pt. 2 TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN -2 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN FEEDBACK: philer@onemain.com X-FILES OFFICE FBI HEADQUARTERS The following Monday morning "Why didn't you tell me who your new boyfriend was?" Mulder said before she was barely able to set her laptop down. "Good morning to you, too," Scully said without even looking at him. "Scully, we need to talk about this," Mulder started, moving closer to where she stood removing her coat. She continued to put her things away, trying not to show her inner trepidations. "Talk about what?" she said, finally turning to look at him. "Ed Jerse, Scully? Ed Jerse?" he asked her pointedly, still totally at a loss as to why she was associating herself with a man who had tried to kill her. Scully just looked at him, leaning back against the edge of her desk, crossing her arms waiting for him to continue. And he did. "Scully, talk to me. What the hell are you thinking?" "Right now, Mulder, I'm thinking 'what is it to you?'" she said, honestly wondering why he was so upset. He had never shown much interest in her romantically unless it served his purpose. "What is it to me? I can't believe you'd even have to ask me that," he answered, his hands going to his hips. "Call me crazy, but I worry when someone I care about is sleeping with a murderer," he finished, knowing as soon as he'd said it, he had crossed the line with a leap. "I think you'd better stop now, Mulder," she told him, realizing he must have, at a minimum, been watching her apartment. "And I'm only going to tell you this once-- stay out of my business." Scully was outwardly angry, but inwardly felt more hurt; hurt that Mulder never seemed to care about her personal life until now, when it interfered with his. "Scully, don't do this. Look what happened the last time you got involved with this creep. Surely, you could find someone better for your little... fling," he said, his voice becoming nasty. Scully was fully angry now, gathering her things again, slipping on her coat, giving him the stare of death, but not saying anything. "That's it, Scully, run away... just like always." "Go to hell, Mulder," she said as she turned to leave, Mulder standing stunned just where she'd left him. DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Later that week Scully had been so angry when she'd left Mulder in the office, that she had contacted Skinner's secretary and taken the rest of the day off. She had gone for a manicure and bought a new $800 suit, trying to comfort herself, but to no real avail. Mulder could make her angrier than any person on the planet, but he could also hurt her feelings more deeply than anyone else also. And she wondered if he'd even noticed. Later, she had called Ed to invite him over, thinking some physical release might be just what she needed. They had only been together once, but it had made her remember how good it felt to be physically loved by a man. It hadn't been great with him, but she was able to let go and it felt good to be held while she slept. "So, what's the occasion, Dana," Ed asked, his mouth half full of Chinese take-out. Scully chuckled, thinking she wished there was one. "Nothing. I just had a real shitty day and didn't want to be alone," she confessed truthfully. "What happened to make your day so shitty?" he asked, giving her a questioning smile. "I'm not sure I should tell you," she sighed, but needed to talk about her problems with Mulder. She could see hurt reflecting in his eyes and realized she needed to be honest with him. "My partner is not happy that you and I are seeing each other." "I see..." Ed sighed, setting down his fork. "Doesn't think I'm good enough for you, huh?" "No, not exactly... He knows about Philadelphia," she explained, not sure how Ed was going to take that bit of information. Ed leaned back in his chair, his hand nervously stroking through his hair as he shook his head. "I've paid my price for all of that and most of it I don't even remember doing," he sighed, his demeanor becoming darker as he spoke. "I know I don't have a big FBI job or a nice apartment or money to spend on you. I know you resent that, Dana. I know it." "Ed, I said nothing of the sort. I said my partner was upset, not me. If I didn't want to be here with you, I wouldn't be," Scully told him honestly. "Dana, you are the only thing that keeps me going day to day. The rest of my life is absolute shit," he said, seemingly almost disgusted at himself. "My job is the business equivalent of selling fries with that and I barely make enough to keep my apartment and that crappy excuse for a car I have... Jesus, it's all just crap." "Ed..." Scully started, seeing that he was really in a funk and becoming more upset as he continued to put himself down. "My kids could care less if they see me and my ex-wife loves every minute of that. Her knew boyfriend has a pool and a boat and how can a loser like me compete with that?" he continued, beginning to pace around the kitchen. "I don't even feel like trying anymore." "Ed, please don't do this to yourself," Scully told him. She moved over to him, her hand cradling his cheek, but he avoided her eye contact. "Look at me," she told him softly and he met her eyes. "You are a worthwhile person, a valuable person... you're not a loser. You've just been through a terrible time in your life; anyone would have a difficult time getting back on their feet, Ed. You can't give up on yourself..." Ed looked at her, his arms wrapping slowly around her hips. "I know you mean that, Dana, but I'm not so convinced. I, uh, I think I'll go. I'm not going to be very good company tonight and you don't need me bringing you down, too," he finished, moving away from her and picking up his coat. "Ed, don't. Stay and talk to me," Scully told him, hoping that she could help him out of his mood. "No, Dana. You don't need me around making your day even shittier," he said, smiling a sad smile as he walked out the door, leaving her standing in the kitchen alone. Scully hadn't finished her meal either, throwing all of it down the garbage disposal. She tried to busy herself with various chores, getting the dry cleaning ready for pick-up, changing the sheets on her bed, answering her email. She felt antsy, all kinds of thoughts spinning around in her head, questioning the state of her life. She thought about her relationship with Ed; why was she involved with him? She had felt sorry for him, felt he needed a fair chance to resume his life. But was that any reason to start a relationship? Or was she involved with him just because she knew Mulder didn't want her to be? Was she subconsciously hoping he would be jealous if she became involved with a man? He had almost seemed so. But deep in her heart, she feared he probably didn't truly care one way or the other. He just liked pulling her chain sometimes and he had been doing a damn good job of it as of late. They had seemed so close at various times over the course of their partnership; after her abduction, during her illness, before and after Antarctica... But they hadn't progressed their relationship any further and she was tired of being alone, of being lonely... But, deep down, she guessed she knew that Ed wasn't the answer, but who was? Scully had taken a long gourmet bath and had settled on the couch with a glass of wine and a new book. She had just finished the prologue when a knock at her door pierced the quiet of her apartment. She figured it was Ed coming back and realized she really didn't want to see him. Her need for physical relief had passed and she just wanted some peace and quiet. But when she got to the door and looked through the eyehole, she was surprised to see Mulder nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Mulder?" she said when she'd unlocked and opened the door. "Hey, Scully. I, uh, need to talk to you," he said, moving into her apartment uninvited, his mood somber. "Mulder, you should've called first," she sighed. "I'm..." "I know you're alone, Scully. I saw Eddie leave several hours ago. And, what, I need an appointment now?" "Mulder, are you watching me?" she asked, very obviously irritated at him. "No, but maybe I should," he said sarcastically and immediately regretting it. "Look, Scully, I didn't come over here to argue with you. I just need to say something." Scully moved to the kitchen, flipping on the light before she sat, not wanting Mulder to find a comfortable spot in her living room. "If you've come here to tell me who I should and should not see, then I'm not interested, Mulder." "No, Scully, it's not really about Jerse. Well, I guess in a way it is, but not in the way you think," he rambled, unable to look at her. "I'm listening..." she said, folding her arms across the front of her robe. "I'll just get to the point." "That would be nice." "I think you should transfer from the X-Files, Scully. I don't think we can work together any more," he said, getting it all out before he took a breath. He had thought about it long and hard before getting up the nerve to confront her and decided to go for broke. "What?" she asked, her voice almost a laugh. "I think you heard me," he said sadly. "I can't stand by and watch you do what you are doing." "That is your problem, Mulder. YOU transfer if my life upsets you so much," she countered. "You know I can put in to have you taken off the X-Files, Scully. But I think it would be better if you did it yourself." "You self-centered bastard. You egotistical, childish bastard," she said to him, standing from her chair in disbelief. "You can't stand that I'm trying to have a life and so, what, you just throw me out?!" "It's not that, Scully," he said, his voice sad. "I can't stand for you to be with someone else..." "Oh, please," she sighed. "Don't even try to tell me you're jealous," she laughed. "Of course, I'm jealous!" he yelled, moving to stand in front of her. "Don't you understand that I care for you?! That without you in my life, I don't think I can even bear to see you?!" Scully was so stunned, she felt like her knees were going to fold. Her heart began to pound and she couldn't seem to make her voice work well enough to respond. "Scully, I don't even remember what my life was before you were in it. I, I always thought we'd have time to be together... someday. I never thought you'd move on without me," he told her, just letting all of his feelings fly out of his mouth. "Mulder... I..." she stuttered until he moved closer, grasping her shoulders as he looked down at her. She felt his breath on her face, but didn't back away, knowing he was going to kiss her and suddenly realizing she wanted him to very, very much. "I've wanted you for so long." And his lips touched hers, tentatively at first, but then escalating into a deeper kiss when he wrapped her in his arms. He felt his whole body respond when she returned his kiss, her arms snaking low around his waist, their bodies pressing into each other. "I've always wanted you, Scully. Almost since the first day," he whispered against her ear when they broke apart for a breath. "God, Mulder. I don't think I knew how much I've wanted to hear you say that until this very moment," she said, her hands cupping his cheeks as she looked at him. She started to speak again, but he didn't let her; instead wrapping his arms around her again, his embrace so tight she felt she could barely breathe. And he kissed her, his tongue pushing its way deep into her mouth, caressing hers. He began to undulate his hips against her, lost in his thoughts of how much he wanted her, needed her. Mulder moved back to be able to see her again, the meaning behind the look in his eyes very obvious to her. They both kissed again, Mulder lifting her to his chest, her feet dangling against his shins. They were both kissing like they were trying to make up for lost time, walking slowly toward her bedroom. And she didn't resist. Even as he carried her, Mulder kissed her passionately, almost forcefully, his gait half-stumbling. Finally, he set her down on her feet, their lips barely parting even as he did. It was Scully who pushed his jacket over his shoulders and began to pull his t shirt from his pants. Mulder only stopped kissing her long enough to open her robe, pull her pajama top over her head without regard for the buttons. Scully reached to pull his t-shirt up over his head even as Mulder was reaching for the snaps of her pants. "God, Mulder," she panted, grabbing for the button of his jeans, now noticing his sizable bulge. Mulder's lips latched on to a nipple, his suction taking a considerable portion of the end of her breast into his mouth. Scully pulled down the zipper of Mulder's pants but he stopped her, his erection now painful confined in his jeans. Suddenly, Mulder flopped down onto the bed on his back, relaxing the pressure of his jeans on his erection making him able to unzip his fly. As Scully watched him, she hurriedly pulled off her pajama bottoms, kicking them off her feet. Mulder squirmed enough to pull his boxers and pants just far enough down to allow his penis to spring free, the movement making him grimace. Scully grabbed the waistbands and pulled both garments down his legs and off his feet that were still hanging over the edge of the bed. "Mmmmmm, Scully," Mulder managed as she crawled up over him, her breasts pressed against his chest, as she kissed him for all she was worth. Mulder grabbed and squeezed her bottom as she lay atop him, her groan caught in his mouth. Mulder then grabbed her shoulders, rolling her off of him, his body moving over hers in one move. "God, Scully, I can't wait," he moaned, kissing her neck, his groin nuzzling hers. "Mulder... God, now. Now!" she panted, reaching for his penis to help him put it where she wanted it. He pushed into her quickly, hard, both of them grunting from his action. Mulder's back arched at the feeling of her warm, tight canal, him tightening himself trying not to come at that very moment. "Scully, I... I..." he stuttered barely able to speak. "I'm not going to, uhhhhh, last long." Scully began undulating against him, wanting him to move, needing him to move. She held onto him low on his hips and pulled her knees up so that her feet were sitting on top of his bottom. He shifted on top of her, moving his knees closer to her thighs which put more pressure on her pelvic bone. "Oh, oh, Mulder. Yesssss, there. There," she gasped, his pubic hair making sweet friction against her swollen clitoris. The smack of flesh against flesh echoed in the bedroom as they were both almost desperate to make each other come. Mulder shifted against her again and thrusted harder and deeper, her body arching underneath him as her climax hit, her pelvis jerking underneath him as he continued to pound into her. She moaned after she was on the downside, his orgasm hitting just as she was able to focus and lift herself up to kiss him as he yelled her name. He emptied into her with several more erratic, forceful thrusts, his body collapsing over her afterward. "Scully, Scully, Scully," was all he could say, his voice muffled into the flesh of her neck. He balanced himself on his forearms and his hips continued to move sinuously against her until his penis slipped out but she could still feel it moving against her folds. Mulder held himself over her, the full length of their bodies pressed together, both of them still moving slowly against each other, panting. His eyes never left hers and they looked at each other without speaking for several long minutes. "I've wanted you for a long time, Mulder," Scully finally said, holding his face between her palms. "I just couldn't admit it to myself." Mulder moved off of her rolling to his side next to her as she lay on her back. They were still lying across the bed, never having made it to lay lengthwise. "Scully, I need to know," he said, drawing his finger against her skin from her breastbone to her pubic hair. "Did you sleep with him? I have to know," he asked, dreading the answer. Scully moved to kiss him, her arms wrapping around his neck, her leg hanging itself over his hip as they faced each other. "Mulder, I don't want to talk about that right now. Please don't ask me to," she finished, kissing him again as she felt his tear against her cheek. She kissed it away and nuzzled further into him to hold him. Finally, they moved into the bed and covered each other before falling into a sated sleep. The next morning, Scully roused slowly, the familiar feeling between her legs bringing a small smile to her face. She stretched as she rolled to her side, trying to wake. Then she saw Mulder next to her and remembered what had happened the night before. She moved away from Mulder, sitting to let her legs hang over the edge of the bed, questioning herself about what she was going to do next. Scully felt a warm hand begin to stroke her back and up over her shoulders. "Still respect me in the morning?" Mulder said with his usual humor. Scully turned to look at him giving him her usual response. Mulder moved over to her, sitting up behind her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Mulder, don't," she said softly, reaching for the sheet to cover herself. "What's the matter, Scully?" he asked as he pulled his arms from her. "Don't tell me you regret what happened last night." Scully turned slowly to look at him, taking him in for a few moments before responding. "No, Mulder. I'll never regret loving you," she said quietly. "It's just that I have something to do today and I'm not sure how I'm going to do it..." Mulder knew what she meant and even though he was relieved to hear her admit it, he almost felt sorry for poor Jerse. Almost. "Jerse is a grown-up, Scully. He'll just have to accept that you aren't going to see him anymore," Mulder said, setting his chin on top of her bare shoulder, hoping that was what she was going to tell him. Scully felt her body responding to his as he slipped his arms around her, his bare chest feeling warm against the skin of her back, but she tamped it down. "He's fragile right now, Mulder. I'm not sure he can take another rejection." Mulder almost couldn't believe what she was saying, but on the other hand, it was so Scully. She had let her heart get her into this mess and now it was in the way of letting her get out of it. "Scully, you don't owe him anything but the truth. How he handles that is up to him." "I know, Mulder. But that isn't going to make it any easier..." DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Later that day After Mulder had left, Scully had readied for work just as she did every morning, but she knew it wasn't going to be an average day. She had slept with Mulder and they had all but admitted their love for each other. How was that going to play out in the office? On her drive in, she flipped radio stations, probably more as something to keep her occupied than an attempt to find a song she liked. She was nervous about being around Mulder all day, but she was even more nervous about having to talk with Ed. No matter what she found on the radio, her mind wasn't able to do anything except ruminate various ways to break the news to Ed that she didn't want to see him anymore. And on many levels, she felt terrible about the whole thing. She had been dating Ed fairly regularly; they had slept together, albeit only once, and then she had slept with someone else. And even though she knew she and Mulder had been dancing around each other for years, both somewhere knowing they would end up together, Ed didn't realize that. Also, she felt bad for Ed. She knew he was having a difficult time, emotionally, personally and financially. What else was left? She knew she was his bright spot at the moment and was seriously worried what might happen to him with that relationship gone. But she had no real choice. She couldn't lead him on, couldn't do that to him or herself, or Mulder for that matter. She'd just have to talk to him and get it over with. The day in the office with Mulder hadn't been nearly as bad as she feared and they had made it just fine. When she arrived in the office, Mulder had simply looked at her and they both began to grin until they simultaneously burst out laughing. "Enough, Mulder," she said, still unable to wipe the smile totally off her face. "What? What'd I do?" he smiled back. "Not here," she said, finally composing herself. "Agreed." And as soon as that was over, the day was not much different than any other day. They were busy and didn't have time to think about much else but work and that seemed to help. 'Maybe things were going to work' she told herself. Scully had called Ed at work and asked him to come by her apartment after he got off work. By the time she had gotten home, she felt like she was going to throw up, dreading what she was going to have to tell Ed. "Ed... come in," Scully said. Scully walked into the kitchen uncomfortably, not really able to look at him, but not wanting him to draw conclusions about her demeanor. And she guessed he didn't when he moved to embrace her snugly. "God, it's so good to see you. I thought all last night how stupid it was for me to leave," he said, beginning to caress her further, very obviously glad to see her. Scully moved away from him, trying not to be insensitive, but not wanting to encourage him either. "Ed, we need to talk," she said, finally making eye contact. She knew by the tone in her voice and the look on her face that he had surely guessed that she had something serious on her mind. "Um, could we just sit?" she asked, sitting in the closest chair at her dining room table. Ed sat and looked at her and smiled, his cheery demeanor somehow unsettling to her; this was going to be difficult enough. "Ed, I want you to know something," she started, figuring the best way to tell him was just to be straightforward and get it over with. "I have liked being with you and I don't ever want you to think that I didn't." "Dana...," he said, seemingly now realizing that she didn't call him to her apartment to give him good news. "I told you about my partner, some about the kind of relationship we had," she started. "How upset he was that we had become involved because of what happened in Philadelphia." "Yes. But what does his opinion have to do with us?" Ed said tentatively, reaching to touch her hand that she slowly withdrew. "Um, I'm just going to be honest with you, Ed," she said, looking him directly in the eyes. "I have always had feelings for him. It's a long story, but I know that now," she told him, truly sad that she had to hurt him. "We can't see each other any more, Ed. I'm sorry. I never expected any of this to happen but it has." "Dana? You're ending it?" he asked, his expression becoming angry. Scully looked at him and gave him a sad, but resolute smile. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." "What? You were just leading me on?" he yelled as he stood, beginning to pace the kitchen floor. "Using me to make him notice? Is that what this was, Dana?!" "No, Ed. It has nothing to do with you," she said, trying to help him understand, calm him down. "I didn't plan this, but I can't help who I am in love with," her admission coming out of her mouth before she could stop it. Finally, he turned back to her, his hands on his hips, his whole demeanor now totally angry. "If your partner hadn't finally given you a look, would you have stayed with me?" "I can't answer that, Ed," Scully told him truthfully. "But you weren't planning to leave me, were you?" he challenged. "Ed, this isn't getting us anywhere," she said noncommittally. "I hope we can still be friends, but I don't know if that is possible." He looked at her, both his anger and hurt churning up a storm within him. "You lead me on until someone better comes along, then you dump me and you want to be friends? What, so you won't feel like such a bitch for unloading poor ole Ed?!" Scully stood, nervously smoothing the tails of her blouse before speaking, figuring it was better to just ignore his last comment. "I'm sorry, Ed," she said softly, hoping he would just leave. "Don't pity me!" he yelled. "You've always thought you were better than me, haven't you?! Haven't you?!!" he shouted, grabbing her wrists, an instant memory of Philadelphia flashing in her mind. Scully jerked her arms from his grasp and stepped back from him, now finding herself fearful of his increasing anger. "Ed, I think you need to leave now," she said calmly, hoping to still his rage. "Nobody treats me like this! Nobody!!" he said pointing his finger at her before letting himself out the door without removing his glare from her until the door slammed behind him. Continued in Pt. 3 TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN-3 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN E-MAIL: philer@onemain.com DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT LATER THAT EVENING "So, how did it go?" Mulder finally asked after they'd settled into the living room after dinner. Mulder had noticed all through their meal that she seemed unsettled, but he could also see that she wasn't ready to talk about it then. "It went," she said, reaching to the coffee table for her glass of wine. "I'm just glad it's over." "That bad, huh?" Mulder asked, wishing Scully would open up and tell him what happened. And she wanted to, but knew he would be upset if she told him how angry, almost threatening, Ed had been, so she gave him the homogenized version. "No, not really. He was hurt, of course, and I think he believes I used him to get your attention," she admitted, looking to Mulder to give him a soft smile. Mulder gave her a strange look, unbelieving that she had told Jerse about him. "Did you?" he asked tentatively. Scully looked at him, initially stunned by his question, but then remembering that she had, at one point, asked herself the same thing. "I, um, not consciously," she admitted, unable to look away from her hands as they held on to the stem of her glass. "Why did you date him, Scully?" Mulder asked softly, staying on his end of the couch. Scully looked at him for a moment, then setting her glass on the table before taking a deep breath. "I think I just needed someone to be with, to care about, maybe, I don't know for sure," she admitted, her voice quiet, pensive. "I really thought you and I had something, Mulder, certainly after my illness and everything surrounding Antarctica. But then Diana had come back and you had become so... so distant," she told him, choosing her words carefully. "Distant? Don't you mean that I was being an asshole?" he chuckled to her. "Well, there was that," she smiled, but he could tell she meant it. "What was that, Mulder?" she asked, turning her body to face him. Mulder looked down sheepishly, knowing he had been repeatedly nasty to her and even though he'd felt terrible about it, he seemed helpless to stop himself. "I'm sorry, Scully... I've just been in a bad place for a while," he confessed, shifting his knee onto the couch to face her. "As I told you, I thought we had an understanding and then you seemed interested in my next door neighbor of all people... and then Jerse, for God's sake." She smiled to herself almost embarrassed at the way he had put it. "I think I expected you to initiate something and when you didn't, I felt like I had misunderstood what I thought was about to happen in your hallway last year. So, I guess I just reacted to it all and Ed came along... and it just happened. He was there." "He was there? That was the reason for your relationship?" Mulder asked, hoping his question wasn't too pointed. Scully didn't answer for several moments, reaching to take a drink of her wine while she thought about what Mulder had just said. "Mulder, in less than a year, I came within moments of dying-- twice. I realized how precious-- and fleeting-- life can be. I felt like you and I were just existing in the same place and I needed more in my life," she said, her voice starting to quaver. "It wasn't that Ed was just there, I felt like he needed me. And after everything I'd been through, I needed a purpose in my life. I needed to be needed." Mulder moved over closer to her and gently removed her wine glass from her hand and set it on the coffee table. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, kissing her hair as he spoke. "I need you more than I could ever put into words, Scully," he said, his voice no more than a whisper. "I can't live without you in my life. It was killing me knowing you were with someone else." Scully smiled an understanding smile, her tears finally slipping over her lids as she leaned into him to give him a soft kiss. Mulder could taste the wine on her lips, her tongue, but reveled in the taste that was only her. "Never again, Mulder," she whispered to him between kisses. They kissed for several long, heated minutes, both of them moving to recline on the couch, Scully on top. "You gonna let me stay?" he asked her gently, knowing she felt his hardness as she lay on top of him. "If not, I've had all I can take," he teased. "We can't do this every night, Mulder. Not yet," she told him gently. "I need some time to get used to the idea that you and I are... together." "I agree, Scully. But I think practice is a good way to get used to something new," he grinned. "You think so, huh," she said, returning his smile. "How about we test my theory tonight and you can be alone with your theory tomorrow night?" he proposed, kissing her again for emphasis. "You know, Mulder, you can be very persuasive when you want to be," she answered, slipping her arms around his neck. "You've never bought any of my other theories that quickly," he teased, his hands stroking her back, over her hips as he spoke. "Well... the payoff wasn't as good as I anticipate it being tonight," she said, her smile growing into a grin. "I'll remember that," he said, moving her to stand, both of them heading for her bedroom. "I'll get the lights," he told her, turning off all the lights in the rest of the apartment. "Scully?" he called when he walked into the bedroom finding it empty, turning on the small bedside lamp. "In here," she called from the bathroom. "I'll be in in a minute." Scully found herself only slightly nervous, feeling it gave her arousal an extra boost. She wanted to be with Mulder again; their first time being so fast and furious. Mulder slipped off all his clothes except his boxer briefs, thankful that he had on a fairly new pair and crawled into her bed. He saw the light go off in the bathroom before he saw her come out and wondered if she was having second thoughts about being with him again. Until she entered the bedroom and could see that she was most likely naked under a short silk robe. And he knew for sure when she dropped it before crawling in next to him. "Close your mouth, Mulder," she said to him, obviously in reference to the look on his face at seeing her nude body. "God, you're beautiful, Scully," he said, moving over closer to her. Scully reached for him and they moved toward each other, wrapping themselves around each other slowly, their lips touching softly. "I want to take our time tonight..." Mulder whispered into her ear, his words sending goose bumps all the way down her body. Mulder shifted her to her back, their lips never parting as they moved. She moved her kisses across his face, along his jaw line to his ear, and then whispered "I want you, Mulder." They continued to kiss and his hand covered her breast, his hand big enough to grasp all of it. Her passion was intensified upon feeling his erection beneath his boxers against her leg. She wanted him and tugged at his underwear and he reached to remove them. He moved back over to her, rubbing his penis lightly on the soft skin of her thigh. She wrapped her leg over his and the feel of her silky pubic hair against his flesh caused him to shudder. He rolled her over fully onto her back and she opened her legs and he laid his hips between them. "Perfect fit," he said against her lips, rubbing himself slowly against her. "Mmmmmm," she moaned, her sex lubricating in quick response. She moaned faintly as she wrapped her arms around his sides, stroking his back, over the tight muscles of his bottom. Mulder moved himself up a little and bent down to kiss her breasts, his tongue moving around her areole as his lips sucked at her nipple. "Mulder..., that feels wonderful...," she said, almost panting, barely able to reciprocate, trying to kiss his neck and shoulder. He smiled at her, wanting to just look at her in her arousal; her heavy lidded eyes, her swollen lips against the flush of her face. "Do you know how much I want you?" he asked when he moved to her other breast. "I think I have...ohhhhh... a general idea," she managed to mumble when his mouth covered the end of her other breast. "I want you, too..." He started kissing down her stomach, getting to her navel before she stopped him. "Mulder, can we save that for another time?" she asked, her voice deep with arousal, not actually believing she was stopping him from going down on her. Mulder knew what she meant, what she wanted, and moved back up to cover her, his hips rotating against her mound. "This what you want?" he asked against her neck. "Yes..." she sighed; her hands sliding down to lightly squeeze his bottom. Before he moved to enter her, he slipped his hand between her legs, his fingers sliding between her folds, finding her more than ready. "Jesus, Scully," he moaned, so turned on by her response he had to consciously contain himself. Mulder grasped himself, sliding his glans back and forth through her folds, each pass against her clitoris causing her hips to twitch. "Oh, Mulder, please," she said, both to get him to stop teasing her and because she wanted him inside her. Finally, he centered himself and pushed slowly inside, both of them moaning at his entrance. He pressed all the way in and held himself there for several long moments while they continued to kiss. He pulled all the way out before entering her again, this time with more thrust, moving out and back in again in a steady pace. Scully's hips began to rise and fall to the rhythm of his movements, her body responding to everything his body did. He propped himself up on his elbows, sliding his hands under her back holding on to her shoulders as his thrusts became more powerful and intense. Her body began to push against him in a rhythm that made him realize he had found the right spot. "Oh. Just. Like. That," she whispered breathlessly. Her eyes closed as her head turned away and he could see that she was trying to keep some semblance of control. But she couldn't hold back any longer. Her body shuddered as her toes curled and her feet splayed out further on the bed. Her breasts heaved in symmetry to the arch of her back as she struggled for breath. "Jesus...Mmmm... Mmmm... God! Mulder...." He continued thrusting as she struggled to continue moving with him in anticipation of her release. She felt the muscles between her legs begin to constrict just before she shattered, "Mullllderrrr...," she cried out. She held her breath, her whole body clenched from orgasm while her internal muscles clamped him, her vulva pulsing so hard it was almost painful. He continued his steady stroking in and out of her, her hips shuddering as her climax calmed. Scully could barely open her eyes, but wanted to see him, feeling he was getting close to his own finish. His thrusts became more forceful and she could feel him pounding her cervix as he finally came with deep lunging moves that almost lifted her off the bed. "Oh, fuccckkkkk, Scully," he said as he let go and she exhaled a guttural sigh at the familiar warmth of being filled. "Scuulllly... Scuulllly... Scuulllly...," he groaned amidst his grunts and ragged breathing as he finished. She pushed herself against him again and the feeling of his pubic hair against her engorged clitoris made her come again, almost as intensely as she had only minutes earlier. He felt the furious spasms of her inner muscles as his mind floated in ecstasy amidst the resonance of her voiceless purrs. Mulder collapsed on top of her unable to hold his weight on his elbows any longer. "Scully, I think I can die now," he managed to say as he regained some capacity over his body. He started to pull out and roll off her but she held him to her, spreading her hands across his shoulders. "Don't. Stay there... for a little bit," she whispered as she kissed him. He ran his fingers through her hair, returning her tender kisses. He moved within her only slightly and he felt her quiver, her muscles beginning to throb again around him in a more slight, but unmistakable orgasm. "I love you so much, Scully. You are so beautiful like this," he spoke into her ear as he continued to nuzzle her neck. "You are the most responsive woman..." "It's you, Mulder. This isn't my usual physiology. Once is usually a struggle for me." "You make me feel like I almost know what I'm doing, Scully." "I'd vouch for you... I just hope you can feel how much I love you," she murmured quietly. She clamped her internal muscles purposely as she held him, their fluids squeezing out of her as she did. "Jesus, Scully..." he sighed, overwhelmed by how good she made him feel. "You keep that up and we may never get out of this bed," he said. "And, that's a problem?" she said, grinning at him through half-opened eyes. "Yeah, right now it is 'cause I gotta go check the door. I don't think we locked it," he said as he kissed her lightly before moving off her. "Mulder..." she whined, missing him already. "I won't be long," he said almost into her mouth as he leaned back over her to kiss her again. He looked back at her, sprawled naked on the bed looking at him with a loving smile he could feel as well as see. "Don't go anywhere," he teased as he left. After checking the front locks and making a quick stop into the bathroom, he thought she was asleep when he came back to the bedroom, barely having covered herself with the sheet and spread. He joined her under the covers, wrapping his arm and leg over her before nuzzling and kissing her neck. "Mmmm... I missed you," she mumbled through her post coital haze, shivering when he put his tongue in her ear. "I'm right here," he assured her as they snuggled together, drifting off into a sated sleep. But outside the apartment building, Ed Jerse sat watching them through the window of his car, knowing that on the very day she had so unceremoniously dumped him, she had slept with someone else. DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC The next afternoon They had driven separate cars into work, Mulder leaving fairly early to go to his apartment to shower and dress for work. They hadn't made any plans for that evening, both of them probably needing some time to themselves. Each of them had been alone for a long time and they knew it would take them a while to get used to being around another person with any regularity. After her day at work, Scully had pulled into her assigned space behind her apartment building and had just stepped out of her car when she saw the shadow of someone moving up behind her. She startled, immediately reaching for her gun as she turned around. "Ed! Jesus, you scared me," she said, reholstering her gun. "Going to shoot me, Dana?" he said snottily. Scully ignored his question and gathered her purse and laptop from her car while he just stood there. "What are you doing here, Ed?" she asked him calmly. "Maybe I should ask you the same question. I thought maybe you'd be sleeping over at your partner's place tonight," he told her, his anger very obvious. "Ed, I'm going inside and I think you need to go home, too," she said, catching a whiff of alcohol on his breath as he moved closer. "You used me. You fucking used me!" he shouted at her. "You dump me and no more than a few hours later, you're fucking someone else! You're like all the rest." Scully gave him a stare, but knew that considering the mood he was in coupled with the fact that he'd obviously been drinking, she'd better not confront him any further. She moved toward the door to her building, Jerse grabbing her sleeve as she did. "Ed, let go of me... now," she told him sternly, trying to pull away from him. Just as he moved closer to her, tightening his grip on her, her neighbor, Mrs. Hunley, pulled up in the parking space next to them. Ed glanced over to her and gave Scully a shove before he let go of her arm. "This isn't over," he warned angrily before he disappeared through the walkway between the buildings. "Hello, Dana. Is everything alright?" the older woman asked as she exited her car. "Yes, yes, Mrs. Hunley. He's, um, just an old friend," Scully smiled uncomfortably, still unsettled from Ed's confrontation. "Oh, I wondered who he knew in the building. I saw him around here last night, too," the woman said innocently. "Last night?" Scully asked as they went into their building. "Yeah, I saw him parked out front on the street when I took Ruggles for a walk. Both times." Scully couldn't believe, didn't want to believe, that Ed had been watching her apartment, but realized he had been. "Um, Mrs. Hunley, could you do me a favor?" "Sure, honey," the woman said as she stepped into the elevator, Scully opting for the steps. "Call me if you see him around here again," Scully smiled to her, trying not to alarm the poor woman, but being somewhat alarmed herself. "I sure will, Dana. If that's what you want me to do," she answered sweetly as the elevator doors closed. When Scully got into her apartment, she found herself quickly locking her door behind her, still unsettled by what Ed had done. She slipped her coat off and sat her laptop and her purse on her desk. She could see the red light on her phone blinking, noticing that she had several messages. One from her mother and two from Mulder and the last one being from Ed, evidently a call he had made just after he had confronted her only ten minutes earlier. "Don't ever think that you can treat me like this, Dana. I will never let that happen," Ed's voice crackled through a bad cell signal on her message machine. She took the small tape out of the recorder and put it in her desk drawer, just in case. FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT ARLINGTON, VA One week later Scully hadn't heard from Jerse again and hoped that after the liquor had worn off, he had come to his senses and had focused his attention somewhere besides on her. She and Mulder had a case in California and had been gone for several days with work. After they had returned, they had been busy with reports and various other things and they had looked forward to the weekend to be together. "Where did you get this pizza, Mulder? It is fantastic," she asked him, her mouth full of food. They were sitting on his living room floor, eating their dinner from his coffee table. "Salvatore's." "Since when does he do take out?" she asked, thinking Mulder was kidding her. "Since I told him his pizza was your absolute favorite and you were coming to my apartment tonight for dinner. He's got a crush on you, you know," Mulder teased, but telling her the truth. "Mulder, he's old enough to be my father; hell, my grandfather," she said, still munching on pizza. "Doesn't stop a man's heart, Scully. And, his vision is still good," he smiled, bending to give her a quick, pizza flavored kiss. Scully smiled at him and leaned over to return his kiss. "Mulder, I'm here for the night. You don't have to butter me up," she smiled against his lips. "You mean I'm gonna get laid for sure?" he joked. Scully smacked his arm, Mulder feigning a momentary injury. "Ouch." "You'll live," she said. She took a drink of her Coke, wiping her hands on a napkin before she spoke, her mood suddenly seeming to change. "Mulder, I need to tell you something. It's really nothing, but I, um, just need to let you know a couple of things," she told him. "Okay..." he said, turning his full attention to her. "It's about Ed. He, um, wasn't exactly happy when I broke it off with him," she started, but Mulder could tell she wasn't being totally forthcoming. "Define 'not exactly happy' for me." "He became very angry. Very. He yelled... then, um, grabbed my wrists," she admitted. "Scully, shit. Why didn't you tell me this?" Mulder questioned. "That isn't all. He showed up at my apartment building the other day and did essentially the same thing. I had a creepy feeling that he may have tried to do more if my neighbor hadn't shown up," Scully explained. "That fucking little bastard!" Mulder said, ready to go find Jerse and make him understand just how unacceptable his behavior was. "Is that all? Is there anything else you haven't told me?" "I think there have been veiled threats along with his outbursts..." "You think?!" "Well, he hasn't come out and openly threatened me, but he's let me know that he wasn't going to just let this drop," she said, thinking she may have been reading too much into the things he has said to her. "Well, the little asshole isn't going to get away with this, Scully," Mulder said, his alpha male coming out. "No, Mulder. Don't you do anything. I mean it," she warned him. "I haven't heard from him in a week, so maybe he finally let things go. So don't start anything. Promise me." "Okay, but if he comes around again, Scully, you had better tell me. And don't wait a week to do it," he warned her back. "Promise," she said, leaning to give him another kiss and a smile. "What movie did you get?" she asked, changing the subject and wanting to forget about Ed's disturbing behavior. "Steel Magnolias," he said, teasing her. "I hope not. I hate that movie," she told him dryly. "How about we go to the bedroom and make our own movie?" Mulder teased as he kissed her neck, his arm snaking around her shoulders. "Bedroom, yes. Movie, no," Scully answered, standing and holding her hand out for him. "Spoiled sport," he mumbled as they headed to his bedroom for another night of lovemaking. Continued in Pt. 4 TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN-4 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN E-MAIL: philer@onemain.com OUTSIDE DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Two days later Scully had stayed with Mulder most of the weekend, not leaving until early Sunday morning to go home to change and meet her mother at Mass. They had slept late, eaten fattening food and had more sex than either of them had had in the last six years- combined. They decided they probably should leave the apartment for a little while, at least, and caught a drive time movie that Scully loved and Mulder hated. 'So much for total harmony', he had told her. But after she had left that morning, Mulder's mind began to think of something besides he and Scully and that wasn't a good thing. Jerse's harassment of Scully hadn't set well with him and he felt she was being too tolerant of his behavior. Mulder had gone downtown for breakfast and just thought he might head over to Scully's to wait for her to get home from church. He wasn't prepared for what he found. As Mulder pulled up in front of Scully's apartment building, unbelievably, he noticed Jerse sitting in the front seat of a 1986 Ford Escort watching Scully's apartment. Mulder kicked the door of his car, the man almost jumping out of his seat in reaction. "What the hell?" Mulder could hear him say scrambling to get out of the car. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Jerse asked him as he moved out of his car. "I could ask you the same thing," Mulder quipped, Jerse not knowing who the hell Mulder was. "Look, you son-of-a-bitch. You dented my car," Jerse said, pointing to the indentation in the side of his car door. "If you want to call that a car," Mulder said, just biding his time to pull Jerse's string. "I'm callin' the cops," Jerse said, pulling his cell phone from his pocket. Mulder reached into his pocket and flipped his ID open in front of Jerse's face. "The cops are already here." Jerse moved closer to see the ID and the realization of who Mulder was washed over his face. Mulder smiled at him. "I'm going to tell you this once-- Get out of here and don't come back," Mulder told him firmly, shoving him against the side of his car for emphasis. "If I so much as smell you around Scully again, it will be your last time." "So are you the one the whore's sleeping with now?" Jerse stupidly responded and that was all it took. Mulder hit him with a right cross that sent him to his knees, doubling over on the ground in a moaning heap. "Did you really think I was just going to stand here and let you say that?" Mulder asked as Jerse rolled to his back, holding his bleeding jaw. "Now get the fuck out of here and don't come back." Mulder stepped back a couple of steps to give Jerse a chance to get up from the pavement and he was able to slowly get himself upright. "You're gonna regret that," Jerse said, wiping blood from his mouth. "What, Jerse, you gonna call the cops? Go ahead. We'll just wait right here," Mulder told him facetiously. "Now, get in your fucking car and don't come back around here or I'LL call the cops." Jerse stared him down, but got back into his car none the less and headed off down the road. But when Mulder turned back around to head into Scully's building, there she was, standing on the front step. Mulder gave her a sheepish look, taking his handkerchief from his back pocket to wipe Jerse's blood off his knuckles. "Hey, Scully." "What the hell was that?" she asked him, rhetorically he figured. "Jerse was watching you, Scully. Camped out in his piece of shit car over there," he answered, stuffing the handkerchief back in his pocket. "So you, what, beat him up?" she said, obviously irritated. Mulder looked at her, almost in disbelief that she could've expected less from him. "If I hadn't, it would be him standing here in front of you right now," Mulder said, trying to make his case. "You want to deal with that?" "Yes. Yes, I do. I can handle this, Mulder. And you promised me you wouldn't do anything to him. You promised," she said, now as much hurt in her voice as irritation. "Just because we are together now, Mulder, doesn't give you license to take care of business that is mine." Mulder shook his head, now as irritated at her as she was at him. "You think I would've reacted any differently before we were sleeping together?" "That wouldn't have made it any more right. And you gave me your word, Mulder. You broke your promise to me," she said, turning to head into her building. "Scully..." Mulder stood there for several moments before deciding that it was probably best that he leave and let Scully have some time. He only hoped he had scared Jerse off and that Scully would be careful... DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Later that evening Scully had fully expected Mulder to follow her up to her apartment, but was relieved that he didn't. She was too irritated at him to talk even though she knew they needed to. This relationship thing was new and they needed to understand each other's boundaries. Of course, Mulder was right; he had never understood her boundaries. Mulder had gone home and gone for a run to clear his head and to try to work his irritation at Scully out of him. Yeah, he shouldn't have hit Jerse; it was reckless and impulsive. But it wasn't like him being reckless and impulsive was new to her. But he was fearful; fearful of Jerse's ability to be reckless and impulsive and his current state of mind. Scully had tried to stay as busy as she could for the rest of the afternoon, her irritation at Mulder giving her nervous energy as well. She knew she was in bad shape when she decided to clean her closets. She didn't think she'd done that since Mulder had disappeared somewhere in Russia. Mulder. Shit. That thought had no more than gone through her mind when she heard the phone ring in the living room. She figured it was Mulder but wasn't sure she wanted to talk so she let the machine pick up. "Decided to sick your new boyfriend on me, Dana? You'll regret that little move. Nobody treats me like that, bitch." Scully was startled by the call, now hoping that Mulder had, at least, made him realize he should leave her alone. She found herself locking both locks on the door and getting her gun from her dresser drawer and setting it on top where she could easily get to it. And she decided if Ed did anything else, she would call the police and file charges. THE NEXT MORNING Scully had readied for work and hadn't really thought about Ed, thinking more of facing Mulder once she got to the office. They really needed to talk, but she didn't want to do it at work. They needed to keep things separate. But she figured he would be wound when she got into the office and needed to be ready to at least broach the subject when he brought it up. She had slept with her gun under her pillow, something she only ever done once before, when she knew someone had been in her apartment. But after she woke, she felt fairly silly about it, determined not to let Ed get to her. "Good morning, Mrs. Hunley," Scully greeted her neighbor as the woman came in from her early morning walk. "Here, honey, let me get the door for you," she said, holding the door open for Scully and her loaded hands. "Thanks," Scully smiled. She had her hands full with her laptop and her briefcase, not to mention a sack with her yogurt and a tuna sandwich. "Oh, Dana," the woman called as Scully headed for her car. "I knew you were gone, so I didn't call." "Call? About what?" "You know. You asked me to call you if I saw that old friend of yours around here again. He was parked out here almost every day while you were gone," the woman told her innocently. "Um, yeah, thanks Mrs. Hunley," Scully said to the woman before she went on into the building. Scully glanced around the parking lot as she pulled her keys from her pocket, popping open the trunk with the electronic opener before reaching her car. She laid her bags in the trunk and just as she reached up to close the lid, she was grabbed from behind, a sweet-smelling cloth placed roughly over her mouth. She remembered struggling before remembering nothing. Jerse held onto her until she collapsed in unconsciousness, and then carried her to his car, parked towards the back of the lot behind Scully's building. He laid her in his trunk and pulled out of the parking lot thinking that the whole scenario was almost too easy. He had control of her now. X-FILES OFFICE J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING WASHINGTON, DC Later that morning Mulder was pacing already and Scully was only a few minutes late. He had called her cell to no avail and was hoping she just wasn't answering because she was still pissed at him, not because something had happened to her. But after another thirty minutes and still no Scully, he couldn't just sit and wait any longer. He checked with Skinner's secretary to see if she had called in and when Kim confirmed that she hadn't, Mulder took off for her apartment. When he got there, he, of course found her car still in the lot. And in a moment, he found her keys on the ground behind her trunk. He opened the trunk and found her laptop and her briefcase and next to them, the small bag containing her lunch, the yogurt still cold. "Shit! Goddammit, Scully!" he cursed to himself, wishing he hadn't left her alone. "Hi, Fox," Mrs. Hunley said, seeing him standing by Scully's car. She knew him and liked him having seen him around Scully's apartment for years. "Mrs. Hunley, Hi, uh, hey have you seen Dana this morning?" he asked hurriedly. "Yes, I thought she already left for work," the woman said, noticing Scully's car still there. "Why is her car still here?" "Mrs. Hunley, did you see anyone else around here this morning? A man, about my age, five ten, dark hair?" he questioned. "Oh, you mean Dana's friend? Yeah, it was kind of strange. He's just been sitting in his car the last several days, while she was gone. I wondered what he was doing here," she told him. "I didn't really like him... ever since he yelled at Dana." "You saw him yelling at Dana?" Mulder asked. "Yeah, a week or so ago. Is Dana okay?" "I hope so, Mrs. Hunley. I hope so..." OFFICE OF WALTER SKINNER J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING WASHINGTON, DC Two hours later Skinner was absorbed in a phone call, Mulder on his cell talking to the Lone Gunmen to get them tracking Jerse, too. "Thanks," Skinner said as he hung up, moving to sit at the table with Mulder and the several other agents who were also working on the task force Skinner had convened. "Jerse's parole officer says he hasn't heard from Jerse in ten days. Up until then, he had been keeping his appointments and had been calling in daily as required," Skinner reported. "There's been a warrant out for him since he is in violation of his parole, but they had no idea he had been in Washington." Mulder realized that it was roughly ten days ago that Scully had severed her relationship with Jerse. "And I talked with Jerse's ex-wife. She hasn't heard from him in over three weeks. She wasn't complaining. Said all he ever did when he'd visit his kids was bitch at her," another agent reported to the group. "We still haven't gotten a line on the car you described, Agent Mulder. It might not have been registered to him." "Yeah, that's what I'm thinking," Mulder commented. "We don't have an updated driver's license on him in Washington or in Pennsylvania, so I doubt it was a rental." Mulder ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated at his and his fellow agents' lack of ability to locate one ex-con. "Damn. This guy is some kind of stealth." CLEVELAND ARMS APARTMENTS DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC Same time Jerse had carried her into his apartment, actually what most would refer to a flop house, via the service entrance and had made it unnoticed. Well, unnoticed except for by a strung out guy who was using the stairs as an apartment. Scully had been out of it for an hour or so and when she initially started to rouse, he gave her another whiff of chloroform and she went back out. He had things to do before he could let her wake up. The apartment was one room with a bathroom, well, actually only a toilet and a sink; the shower room was down the hall. He had a double bed, a table with one chair and a small television sitting on top of a cardboard box. A small microwave oven sat on the floor, but he could only plug it in if the television was off; he didn't want to blow a fuse. As soon as he'd gotten her into the apartment and dropped her on the bed, he had gotten the bag of stuff he'd purchased from the hardware store out of the closet and dumped the contents on the bed next to her. He opened the roll of duck tape and decided to restrain her hands first in case she woke up again. He removed her jacket, remembering back to the time she had actually wanted him to remove all of her clothing and he had. Her hair was covering her face and even though he obviously knew she was unconscious, he strangely took the opportunity to squeeze her breast, feeling he was safe since her eyes were covered. He taped her wrists together and then cut enough of bright yellow nylon rope to tie her taped hands to the headboard. He removed her shoes and thought about taking her panty hose off, but decided to save that for later. He tied, first, her right foot, then her left, to each of the legs of the end of the bed, pushing her skirt up so that her legs would spread far enough apart. He debated whether or not to gag her, deciding he would until she woke up and he had a chance to talk to her. So he moved her hair from her face and stuck a large piece of duck tape across her mouth. He had already taken her gun when he had put her in the trunk and checked it to make sure the safety was off, in case he needed it. Jerse was confident he wouldn't be discovered. He had moved to his current place under an assumed name and had dumped his car off at the airport. The car he had used to abduct her had been parked at the airport next to where he dumped his. He knew he had as much time as he needed to make Dana Scully regret she had treated him like yesterday's garbage. Jerse had just lit a cigarette, his nerves on edge despite his confidence, when he heard her stir, the sound of her moan barely audible through the tape covering her mouth. Ed moved over next to the bed, just standing there looking down at her when she was able to finally focus her eyes. The first things she felt were the pounding throbs in her head and the sweet chemical taste in her mouth. As her head cleared, she gradually was able to realize that she was gagged and tied and that Ed Jerse was staring down at her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize what had happened. "Hello, Dana," he said smugly as she looked up at him. She began to pull on her restraints, more out of reaction than design, her curses muffled beyond recognition by the thick tape. "Know where you are?" he asked stupidly, enjoying watching her strain. She continued to pull and fight against her bindings, but realized she was doing nothing but wearing herself out, so she calmed her body, but she continued panting deeply from her effort. "That's better," Jerse told her when she'd calmed. He sat down next to her on the bed and began to rub his hand over the silk of her blouse, his touch to her stomach making her skin crawl. She felt sick remembering that she had once invited him to do much more. "If you promise me you'll be quiet, I'll remove the tape. But, I swear, if you scream, it'll go back on and stay there," he told her, his self-satisfied attitude making her angrier by the second. Scully would just about have agreed to anything to get the gag removed and nodded to him. The touch of his fingers to the flesh of her face disgusted her and she flinched at the pain of the tape being peeled from her skin. "What have you done, you bastard?" she asked him, her anger spewing with each word. "I don't think you are in much of a position to be calling me names," he snapped at her. "I'm in control of everything here and you'd be wise to realize that." "Why? What is this going to get you?" she asked him, her head pounding with each word she spoke. Jerse stood from the bed, taking several drags off his cigarette before turning back to her to answer. "I warned you, Dana. I warned you; you and your new boyfriend. You thought you could just use me and then when you had what you wanted, discard me with no look back," he told her, Scully finding the deeply angry look in his eyes disturbing. "Well, I guess you know by now that you were wrong." "Ed, please, you're an intelligent man. You have to know by now that every FBI agent in this city is out looking for me," she said, trying to reason with him. "I am an intelligent man. And I'm not falling for your FBI-speak. And, who says we are still in Washington?" he smiled, that possible revelation unsettling her. "Ed, surely we can work something out. Let's talk about this," she told him, trying to remain calm despite the fact that she wanted to kill him at that moment. Jerse laughed as he stood, walking over to the table to put his cigarette out in the cheap plastic ashtray on the table. He walked back to the edge of the bed and reached down and slapped her across the face. Hard. "Don't underestimate me, Dana. I won't fall for your bullshit," he told her indignantly. "And I'm not a fool." OFFICE OF WALTER SKINNER J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING WASHINGTON, DC Twelve hours later Jerse's car had been located, parked in a dark corner of the main parking garage at Dulles Airport. The car had been searched with a fine toothed comb and nothing could be found that could help with locating him. "Yeah," Mulder answered his cell, the rest of the task force members working in the office making it difficult to hear. "Hang on," Mulder said, walking out into the quiet of the hallway. "Hey, my man," Frohike said by way of greeting. "I couldn't find any credit cards for our boy Eddie. Since his credit rating is worse than mine, it's likely he didn't have any since getting out of the nut ward." "Did you run Scully's?" Mulder asked, hoping Jerse had been stupid enough to use one of hers. "Yeah, but there hasn't been a charge made since last Friday night... at the Mobil gas station around the corner from your apartment building," Frohike said, his mind putting two and two together. "Shit," Mulder said, hoping against hope they might get a break after all the hours they had been working. "But, I did find several charges to the same restaurant, all made within the last month. Seemed kind of a weird neighborhood for Scully to be frequenting," Frohike noted. "What restaurant? Where?" Mulder asked hurriedly thinking maybe Scully had gone there with Jerse. "Salerno Garden... on West Georgia Street," Frohike told him. "Jesus, the fucking prick wasn't even paying for his own meals," Mulder said before he hung up, heading down the hall to the elevators on his way to his car. CLEVELAND ARMS APARTMENTS DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC Two hours later Jerse had put more tape on her mouth while he ran to the store, telling her she'd have to earn his trust before he would leave it off while he was gone. He had brought back a couple of bags of groceries, the pungent smell of fried chicken permeating the room as soon as he had walked in the door. It wasn't until later that Scully realized that his purchase of freshly fried chicken was by design. He pulled the chair up next to the bed and proceeded to eat several pieces in front of her, her stomach growling with hunger pangs despite the fact that she didn't even like fried chicken. Jerse hadn't given her any water or food since she'd been there and, judging by how long it had been dark, she guessed her confinement at a good fifteen to sixteen hours. She had needed to use the bathroom earlier in the day, hoping that Jerse would untie her long enough to do so and she may have a chance to get the best of him. But, he had planned for his occasion and had humiliated her by pulling her underwear and pantyhose down and making her use a hospital style bedpan. He didn't miss his opportunity to touch her, fondling her between her legs before sliding the bedpan under her. "I'm going to kill you, you son-of-a-bitch," she told him, a comment that garnered another slap across the face. Scully forced herself not to make a comment about the food, not giving him the satisfaction that he was so obviously seeking by eating in front of her. But it was getting increasingly difficult to not ask him, at least, for a drink of water. "Ed, you have to, at least, give me some water, if you want me to stay alive," she finally said to him, her mouth so dry it hurt. "I don't have to do anything. Thinking you could call all the shots is what got you here in the first place, Dana," he said, seeming disgusted with her. "I will decide when you get water." She had been quiet, obedient almost, hoping to get in his good graces; hoping not to set him off. "You know, when I was a kid, my dad used to punish me by locking me in our dog's kennel in the garage. He'd leave me there until I would finally give in and ask him for food. 'Hunger will make a monkey eat pepper' he would say just before he would feed me, knowing I would do anything he wanted by that point. Knowing I'd learned my lesson," Jerse told her, knowing she would get his inference. "What lesson is it you want me to learn, Ed?" she asked tentatively. She could feel that her lip and her left eye were swollen where he had hit her both times before and she didn't want to piss him off again by saying the wrong thing. "I think you know, Dana," he told her sternly. "But Ed, I can't do what you want if I don't know what that is," she told him tiredly, truly meaning what she told him. Her throat was so dry, she was already having difficulty talking and her arms had long ago become numb from being restrained over her head. She felt her resolve beginning to slip, her ability to stay awake, let alone alert, waning with each hour she laid there. "Ed, I give in. You are in charge here, so I'll do what you want. But I can't do that if you don't tell me," she said. Her FBI training had told her to always let a hostage taker feel as though they were in control. In her case, that was absolutely the truth. "My arms hurt, Ed. I'm going to start having cellular breakdown if they don't get some circulation soon. Please, at least tie them like you have my feet. Please." Her pleading must have worked, because before long, he cut the tape from her hands, her arms falling numb and useless to the bed. He immediately tied each one to the bed frame, but at least, her arms were lying flat on the bed. She couldn't suppress a moan when the blood started flowing through them again, the pins and needles feeling in her hands very painful. "Thank you, Ed. Thank you," she was finally able to tell him, her kindness a veil of what she actually wanted to say to him. "If you continue to behave I may get you some water. We'll just have to see," he said and Scully thought to herself that maybe she had just figured out how to play his game. Continued in Pt. 5 TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN-5 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN E-MAIL: philer@onemain.com PRESIDENTIAL APARTMENTS WASHINGTON, DC Same time Skinner had noticed Mulder missing from his office after getting a phone call and went looking for him, finally calling him on his cell. "Goddammit, Mulder. Where are you?" Skinner scolded. "I've got a possible lead on Jerse's apartment, his neighborhood at least," Mulder told him, heading to his car. "Where are you?!" Skinner practically shouted into the phone. "The Hoover garage. I'm headed over there," Mulder said, his lone wolf arrogance getting on Skinner's last nerve. "Mulder, if you do not wait right where you are until I get down there, I'm throwing you off this case. There is a room full of agents working their asses off on this case and you do not have a right to keep information from them," Skinner told him angrily. Mulder had acquiesced and Skinner had showed up with several other agents and they had headed over to the restaurant where Scully had used her card the last couple of months. It was late enough that the Salerno Garden restaurant was closed but the bar side of it was still open, a few scattered patrons enjoying a quiet drink. The bartender had called the owner down from his apartment above the building and he had given them a definite identification of Ed and Scully. He had also told them that Ed had started coming in somewhat regularly for a drink, so he figured he must live in the neighborhood somewhere. Mulder had gotten fairly lucky, the neighborhood consisting mostly of single family homes, only two apartment buildings located within a four block radius of the restaurant. Skinner and Mulder had taken the Presidential Apartment building, the other three agents taking the Colonial Apartment building. Skinner and Mulder had roused the super and he did indeed have a renter named Edward Jerse. "But he moved out about a week ago. Left some paid rent on the books, too," the man told them. "Anybody renting the apartment now?" Mulder asked. "No, I haven't really had a chance to clean it and get it rented again," he told them, almost apologetically. "Perfect," Mulder said. The other three agents had joined Mulder and Skinner in searching Jerse's apartment, all of them hoping to find some clue that might lead them to him. They found several things he'd left behind, a few socks, some unpaid bills, a few books and several porn magazines. The agents picked up everything they found and threw the small stuff in evidence bags, the larger stuff in a plain box. The apartment had obviously been vacated in a hurry; something all of them thought was in their favor because maybe it meant he'd gotten sloppy. There were lots of cigarette butts in ashtrays here and there, so those were collected also to check for DNA. A crime scene crew was called in to do the rest of the work, hoping to find anything that might lead them to Jerse and, ultimately, to Scully. Mulder and Skinner had moved outside the building and Mulder was irritated and discouraged by not finding Jerse or any decent evidence for that matter. "Shit," Mulder said disgustedly. "We'll find her, Mulder," Skinner reassured him. "The longer he has her..." "I know, I know. But we'll find her," Skinner told him again. Mulder and Skinner were standing behind an FBI evidence vehicle and Mulder was idly ruffling through the stuff they'd found in the apartment, wondering what to do next. He noticed a paper back, its title, 'Wall Street', reminding Mulder what Jerse used to do for a living. "Wall Street!" Mulder said, almost to himself, but startling Skinner. "What?" Skinner asked. "Gordon Gecko," Mulder said, hurrying to a telephone. "What the hell's he talking about?" one of the other agents asked, half making fun of Mulder's obscure reference. "Jerse. He worked as a stockbroker when he lived in Philadelphia. Maybe he was working here in Washington," Mulder said, immediately dialing the Gunman, just as Skinner was dialing the Bureau. "Check employment for Edward Jerse, probably in the brokerage business," Skinner told the task force team still working from his office. "He was a broker in Pennsylvania, but he probably lost his license after his arrest, but he may still be working in the field in some capacity," he told them, confident that they would find anything that could be found. Mulder's actions mirrored Skinner's, but his call was to the Gunmen. "We'll find his sorry ass, Mulder," Frohike reassured him, snapping to work on his keyboard. CLEVELAND ARMS APARTMENTS DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC Four hours later "Please, Ed, I can't wait any longer," she told him, totally humiliated that she had to plead with him to go to the bathroom. Finally, he got the bedpan and moved over to the bed. "Please let me use the bathroom. I won't try anything. I promise," she told him, hoping he would listen. Ed just glared at her, pissed that she thought he was so stupid as to believe her. "I won't even let you have this if you don't shut up," he told her, offering her the bed pan again. When she nodded, he set the bedpan on the bed and reached into his pants, pulling out a pocket knife. Scully tried not to let him see her fear, but she was very afraid of what she imagined he was going to do with it. Jerse barely looked at her before he hiked her skirt up and then reached down and cut her panties and the top of her panty hose, ripping them away from her body. He rolled her slightly to her side, the movement putting a painful strain on her closest hand and ankle, and shoved the bedpan underneath her. "You can't even piss without my help," he told her crossly, seeming disgusted at her for needing to relieve herself. Scully had been watching his every move, hoping she would see an in, a way to get him to release her... at least a way to keep him from killing her. She knew the longer she could keep him on an even keel, the greater her chances were that she would be found; that Mulder would find her. She knew he must be crazy with fear by now, knew that the FBI was using every available resource to find her. But she knew her most valuable resource was Mulder; that he wouldn't stop until he found her. She just hoped it would be in time. Jerse still hadn't given her any food or water and she thought maybe if she quit asking, he might eventually, at a minimum, give her a drink. She found some comfort in telling herself that at least if she didn't drink, she wouldn't have to be humiliated by using the bedpan as frequently. Scully had finished relieving herself, but didn't say anything to Jerse about getting the bedpan, deciding that he responded better when she didn't ask for anything. He was sitting in his chair, watching the European market reports on TV, smoking cigarette after cigarette, but saying very little to her. He had made some coffee and the rich aroma was just about more than Scully could take. God she was thirsty... and hungry. Finally after a healthy hour, Jerse rolled her to her side again and took the bedpan, not bothering to pull her skirt down, leaving her exposed. She wanted to kill him. After he returned from the bathroom, she watched as he moved to untie her left arm and tied it to her right. She stifled a moan at the movement, her body stiff from being in the same position for so long. He then repeated the same motion to her left foot and he shifted her to lie on her side to make room for himself. "I'm tired," was all he said as he removed his shoes and he laid down next to her and fell asleep. Despite her revulsion at him being on the bed next to her, she couldn't resist her overwhelming fatigue and slumber overtook her as well. Scully didn't know how long she had been sleeping, but when she woke it was daylight. Ed was no longer next to her, but she was still on her side. She couldn't hear any other noise in the room and she figured Ed was gone. Her throat hurt from being so dry and she tried to stimulate some saliva to lubricate her mouth and throat, but couldn't do much. She needed water soon. The nap didn't seem to help her, but seemed to just make her less alert, her mind seeming foggy. Suddenly, the door opened and Ed came in with a couple of bags and she immediately smelled bacon and coffee. She closed her eyes, feeling tears behind her lids that she was determined he would not see. "Smells good, doesn't it," he said to her, his moods seeming more and more somber. She felt his hands at her ankles and he retied her left foot across the bed to the opposite post. He stood and stared at her spread eagle and she fought her urge to call him every name she could think of. He moved her hands apart as well and, again, she was flat on the bed. "I I used your money to buy this stuff," he told her as he sat next to her and began to eat. She wasn't sure why he told her that. "Ed, I really need a drink, just some water," she said calmly, not wanting to upset him. "I don't think you really know what you need, Dana," he told her, putting his breakfast sandwich down on the table and turning his attention to her. It scared her. "You had what you needed and you decided to throw all of it away. You're all alike, you know." "Who?" "You... my wife... all the women I've been with. You take what you want and when you're finished, you think you can just move on," he told her cryptically. "Well, that kind of shit is stopping with you!" he said, becoming suddenly angry. "I'm doing the taking this time, Dana." Then she saw him retrieve his pocket knife again and moved over her and began cutting at her skirt. Despite herself, Scully began to move as much as she could to resist him, but bound tightly enough that it barely made a difference. "You'd better lie still or I'll cut more than your clothes," he threatened, the knife at her cheek, his hand grabbing her thigh so hard her muscle spasmed. "I am a federal agent. You'll get the death penalty if you harm me, Ed," her voice low and scratchy from her dry throat. "Fuck you!" he said, the knife ripping through her blouse, then her bra. She was laying spread eagle on the bed, essentially naked, with Jerse standing over her with his knife in his hand and his anger dripping from him. A thought flashed through her mind that this may be her end. But Ed just stopped. He stared at her for several moments and then moved away from her and went into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she heard the shower running and later, he came out dressed in a suit and tie, his hair neatly combed. He gave her a nasty look before taking the rest of her money out of her jacket pocket and left the apartment. Scully tried to figure out where he might be going, seemingly dressed for work. Maybe he still had his job; maybe he had just taken yesterday off. She found herself laughing to herself, imagining Jerse saying, "Yes, boss, I need Monday off because I'm going to kidnap someone. I should be back on Tuesday..." She was afraid she was becoming delirious. She had been without water for a full day by now, she figured, and she knew if Ed didn't show some compassion soon, she could only last another two or maybe three days without water. Mulder... HEADQUARTERS OF THE LONE GUNMEN SOMEWHERE IN WASHINGTON The next day Mulder was pacing, talking to himself, trying to see what they were missing. He knew Jerse was just lucky; he wasn't outsmarting them. "Mulder, have you slept?" Byers asked, taking in Mulder's red eyes and his two-day growth of beard. "Um, yeah, I got a couple of hours yesterday," he answered, recalling falling asleep on the couch sitting up in Skinner's office during a task force review. It was more like twenty minutes. "This guy is stealth, man," Langly muttered, irritated that he hadn't been able to find anything new on him. He had found tons of old records. Employment, tax returns, driver's license, records from his little stay in the mental hospital; even his divorce decree. But he couldn't find anything new on the guy. It was like Jerse had disappeared after his release from Landessa, not having a thing to his name. "He is hiding better than anyone we've run across in a long time." "He isn't that good, Langly. I think it's that he's just so inconsequential that nobody notices him," Mulder relayed. "I think he's hiding in plain sight. We just haven't looked in the right direction yet." "Mulder, we're tryin' man. We've hacked into every employment data base we can think of. His last check was sent to the Presidential Apartment address and he hasn't been back to work since the day before he took Scully," Frohike explained, hoping that Mulder didn't think they weren't trying to find Scully. "I'll get Skinner to send an official notice to all of the brokerage firms in the bi-state area. The guy is overly confident and he needs money. Maybe he'll do something stupid," Mulder said, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, pulling his cell phone to call Skinner. "Mulder, why don't you go in the other room and get some sleep?" Byers told him gently, seeing his abject fatigue. "You think Scully's getting any sleep?" Mulder retorted quickly, sounding sharper than he intended, but his nerves at the surface. Langly looked at him with his usual look, "She's probably getting more sleep than you've had, dude." Mulder had reached Skinner and he told Mulder he would take care of his request. Mulder knew he couldn't go much longer without at least a couple of hours of sleep, but he couldn't let himself do it. "I can't let anything happen to her," he said so tiredly that his words almost slurred. "Not now..." But Byers wouldn't let it drop and got Mulder to lie down on the couch and as soon as Mulder was horizontal, he was out like a light. Byers hoped for Mulder's sake that they weren't too late... CLEVELAND ARMS APARTMENTS DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC Later that day Ed had come back from wherever he'd been, his mood seemingly much better than when he'd left that morning. He had changed out of his suit, hanging it carefully in the closet before he even spoke to her. "Ed Jerse is moving up," he smiled to her and she tried to smile back, trying to humor him. But evidently it hadn't been something he'd wanted to see, her expression only serving to piss him off and he slapped her again. It scared her when she barely seemed to care, feeling almost surreal in her haze she knew her dehydration was causing. He had been gone long enough that she hadn't been able to wait and had been forced to urinate in the bed, the skin of her bottom starting to burn from lying in it for so many hours. And then Jerse noticed it; noticed the bed had been soiled and he lost it, slapping her across the face, throwing the bedside lamp into the wall, the pieces flying all over her as she lay helpless on the bed. "You think I'm going to clean that up?! You can just lay in it!" Scully could barely respond, her body so weak from having had no water in almost three days, never minding the food. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," was all she could say, her voice barely a raspy whisper. "I brought you food, Dana. And a bottle of ice-cold water. But after this... what the hell were you thinking?!" Jerse yelled. "I'm celebrating and you lay there pissing on yourself." "Ed, I... need water. If I don't get water soon, I'm going to die," she told him, trying to make eye contact, trying to get him to see her as a human being. She could feel her eye swelling from his last slap as her field of vision became smaller. She hurt and she was cold and she felt herself drift off into an unwelcome sleep. She felt as if she was floating, a feeling that would've been wonderful except she had an overwhelming fear because she didn't know where she was. She seemed to be in some place in suspended animation, not seeing or feeling anything above or below her or around her. But it was better than she had been feeling; she knew that. She could hear a faint voice somewhere and as it grew stronger, she thought it sounded familiar. And then she saw him-- her father; wearing the same clothes and hat he had worn the last time she had seen him alive. "Dad?" she asked into the ether. He didn't answer, but walked closer to her and smiled. "Dad! Please help me! God, I can't believe you're here to help me," she breathed, feeling her whole body relax into the realization that her father was there to rescue her. Her father looked down at her, his mouth moving, but no sound coming out. "What? What Dad?" she asked, trying to move closer to him to hear. And then he leaned into her, whispering into her ear, "Hunger will make a monkey eat pepper." And then he laughed; laughed like it was the funniest thing ever said, Scully now recognizing the laugh as that of Ed Jerse. "Daddy...." HEADQUARTERS OF THE LONE GUNMEN SOMEWHERE IN WASHINGTON Two hours later "Mulder," he answered his phone, rousing from his nap on their couch. "We may have a line on Jerse. Looks like he applied for a job today at a brokerage firm in Bethesda and someone later recognized him from our alert," Skinner told him. Mulder was up and out the door in a matter of seconds, talking to Skinner as he headed to his car. "Did they get him?" Mulder asked wondering if Jerse was actually in custody. "No. He'd already gone. There is an address, but it's bogus. But, the phone number is legit; we think it's his actual cell phone number. We're checking that now," Skinner went on. "Where are you, Mulder?" "I'm about 15 minutes from you; maybe 12 or 13," Mulder told him, his Bureau issued sedan setting a new land speed record as he practically flew to the Hoover building. OFFICE OF WALTER SKINNER J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING WASHINGTON, DC Thirteen minutes later "Were you able to verify the phone number?" Mulder asked as soon as he walked into the room. There was still a large group of other agents working at the large conference table in Skinner's office, telephones and computers set up for each one of them. "Yeah, it's his," Skinner said. "But the address on the phone contract is the Presidential Apartments. "But we have a plan. This is Marcella Stockton. She interviewed Jerse for the job this morning," Skinner said, introducing an attractive woman of about forty. "We're going to have her call him and tell him he's hired, but he needs to come back in to sign a few papers. Then we'll follow Jerse when he's finished and hope he leads us to Scully." "Let's get this show on the road," Mulder said, all of them following Mulder and the woman out the door. CLEVELAND ARMS APARTMENTS DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC Forty minutes later Scully had faded in and out of consciousness, trying still to find faith that she would be found before Jerse let her die. She tried to remember her training, keep the abductor seeing you as a person, so she tried to talk to him as much as she was able. "What are you, um, celebrating, Ed?" she asked, her throat sore. "If you do as I say, I might tell you," Ed said, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "I've told you, Ed. You are in control. I'll do what you want," Scully told him, and by this point, meant every word of it. "Dana, I can give you what you want. I'll have money and position and you won't have to be embarrassed to be with me anymore," he told her. Scully didn't really know what he meant, but played into it, trying to get him to talk. "I was never embarrassed to be with you, Ed. I enjoyed being with you," she told him. "I knew you'd get back on your feet again." "I've got--" his words interrupted by his ringing cell phone. "Hello," he answered, seeing on the caller ID that the call was from the Princorp Brokerage Firm. And the ruse was on. PRINCORP BROKERAGE FIRM BETHESDA, MA Same time "Well, he bit," Skinner said, Mulder feeling his heart pounding. It had been almost three days and Jerse had resurfaced to apply for a job. What did that say about Scully's status? Would he be doing something so public if he still had her? Mulder didn't want to answer that question. Or was he playing some kind of weird game? Two agents stayed with Ms. Stockton and posed as other employees to be with her when Jerse came in to sign the couple of useless forms. They practiced the woman on what she would say, keeping the interchange to a minimum. Several other agents were stationed from the door to Stockton's actual office, the rest of the task force stationed outside. Mulder was outside the building in a surveillance van with Skinner since Jerse would obviously recognize him. They waited almost an hour for a car to arrive and Mulder immediately identified Jerse as he exited a late model Saab, the other tech in the van immediately running the plate. "That's him. He stole up," Mulder quipped, noticing Jerse's much nicer vehicle. Skinner relayed the info to the earphones being worn by each member of the task force. Jerse was dressed nicely in a suit and tie and looked no different that any of the other men coming and going in and out of the office building. Jerse had checked in at Stockton's office and he seemed to buy the whole thing. He signed his name to several forms, told Ms. Stockton that she wouldn't be disappointed that she'd hired him and left. Little did he know. "Subject is exiting the building and headed for a black, late model convertible Saab, Virginia license H27999, reported stolen three days ago," Skinner relayed to the other agents. "We'll be the lead vehicle," he told them, knowing Mulder would accept no less. Jerse had nearly gotten hit by a car as he crossed the street to his vehicle, Mulder's heart skipping a beat as he watched. But the look on Jerse's face had unnerved Mulder; Jerse seeming happy, upbeat with a quick step as he went to his car. "Smug bastard," Mulder mumbled, barely able to keep himself in the van. "We've got him now, Mulder," Skinner told him, realizing what Mulder must be feeling. "It isn't him I want," Mulder said, Skinner just nodding. "He's on the move," Skinner announced into his microphone as Jerse pulled out into traffic and after a safe period of time, the van pulled out to follow. They followed him through several side streets, then pulling out onto the highway, apparently headed back to Washington. "He's headed back into the city," Mulder said, surprised that he hadn't moved further out into Maryland or Virginia somewhere. They followed him for another five minutes or so, then backing off a bit and letting one of the other agents get closer to mix up the vehicles so Jerse might not spot his tail. After another five minutes or so, the van with Mulder and Skinner moved back into position and had Jerse's car clearly in their view. They had followed him all the way downtown, Jerse finally pulling off the main road and heading to a less than desirable neighborhood mostly made up of row houses and run down single room apartment buildings. "Jesus," Mulder sighed not wanting to think that Scully had been holed up in one of those places. Continued in Pt. 6 TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN-6 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN E-MAIL: philer@onemain.com CLEVELAND ARMS APARTMENTS DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC Same time "Subject has parked his car, west side of 1500 block of Beech Street," Skinner relayed to all the agents. Mulder watched Jerse as he walked up the street, looking around seemingly to see if anyone was watching. Mulder hoped he hadn't made them, but soon, Jerse headed into the building labeled as the Cleveland Arms. "Subject has entered the Cleveland Arms Apartment building at 1536 Beech Street. All agents to assigned posts," Skinner said and he could barely get out of the van fast enough to catch up to Mulder. "Cold..." Scully said, her voice barely discernable. Her whole body ached, her muscles cramped and spasming from her dehydration. And her head was pounding from the worst headache she had ever had in her life, even when she had cancer. She was chilling and her mouth was so dry and sticky she was barely able to swallow. She knew the symptoms; knew that if Jerse didn't help her or she wasn't found soon, she was going to die. She knew she had been crying, wanting to see Mulder... her mother... but there were no tears, her dehydration as severe as it would get before she slipped into coma. At least she had stopped making urine, so she didn't have to humiliate herself again. She wanted to keep fighting, was trying to keep fighting but she was having difficulty thinking, her mind wandering. When Ed entered the apartment, Scully didn't even realize he had been gone until she heard the door slam. "Cold," she repeated, not even sure he could hear her since he didn't even glace at her. Then, she could hear him in the bathroom, the sound of the water running seeming almost comical to her. "Well, maybe you're finally listening to me," he said, his voice startling her as he sat next to her on the bed. "At least you didn't piss yourself while I was gone. Are you getting my message, Dana?" Scully really had no idea what he meant, but she nodded, sensing that was what he wanted out of her. "You understand what I want from you?" he asked and, again, she nodded. Suddenly, he bent down and took the nipple of her left breast in his mouth, sucking on her flesh for several minutes. She could feel herself wanting to cry, sadly less because of his violation of her than her lack of caring that he did it. But after he sat back up, she felt a straw at her lips and hoped it wasn't some merciless joke. She had difficultly closing her dry, swollen lips around the straw, but she managed, embarrassed at how desperate she became. He laughed at her, but let her have a couple of mouths full of the water. "There's more where that came from," he said, standing from the bed. "IF you've learned your lesson." As soon as Mulder and Skinner entered the building, Mulder noticed the sign on the door on the right-- 'Manager'. Skinner moved in and kept his eye on the lobby and the stairwell while Mulder showed the manager a picture of Jerse. "Oh, yeah. Mr. Dana. He just moved in. He's in 202. Second door on the right up the first flight of the back stairs," he relayed, the police looking for one of his renters not seeming like an unusual event to him. 'Mr. Dana, indeed. The fucking bastard', Mulder thought to himself as he and Skinner headed down the hall to the back stairs. Skinner called for back up for the front entrance while he and Mulder slowly climbed to the second floor. Each stood on either side of the door, the sound of a man's voice telling them that Jerse was indeed in there. Skinner and Mulder exchanged a glance and each understood their role. Skinner hit the door running, his shoulder breaking the cheap wood wide open, his weapon drawn. Mulder rushed in behind him, both yelling, "Freeze! FBI!" "Down on the floor, Jerse! Down on the floor!" Skinner yelled, his gun aimed at the man's head. "Give me a reason to shoot!" Mulder yelled at him, moving further into the room. Scully could hear them and could see images moving around the room, but wasn't sure if it was real or if it was another one of her dreams, her delusions. But Jerse being Jerse, he tried to run, leaping toward Skinner despite his size and the fact that a gun was aimed right at him. Skinner had no choice but to shoot, hitting Jerse in the lower abdomen, his body crumpling quickly to the dirty floor of the apartment. "Scully... Scully," Mulder said when he'd moved to the bed. He removed his coat and laid it over her, covering her nakedness from Skinner and the other agents who had now also burst into the apartment. "Scully..." he said, seeing her bruises, her swollen and sunken eyes, smelling the pungent odor of old urine. "Jesus, Scully..." "Get the EMT's in here! Now!" Skinner yelled and he didn't mean for Jerse. Several other agents were attending to him as he moaned from his wound, his hands now cuffed together behind his back. Mulder pulled out his pocket knife and cut the nylon ropes on her hands, then her feet. He noticed the glass of water setting on the small table next to the bed and lifted her head slightly to put the straw to her mouth. She began to drink, but she still hadn't looked at him or said anything. "Scully, it's Mulder. You're safe, Scully. You're safe..." he told her, bending close to her face. "Mulder?" she said hoping it was really him, but still not sure it wasn't all a dream. "It's me, Scully. We're going to get you to a hospital," he reassured her, moving out of the way to let the EMT's get to her. They had an IV in her and had given her an injection to prevent seizures before they even had her on the gurney. There wasn't room for Mulder in the ambulance, but he followed behind wanting to make sure Scully got to the hospital safely. Jerse was attended to in the apartment longer than Scully, the other set of EMT's having difficulty getting his bleeding stopped. Skinner didn't particularly care if they even did. He had been stunned by the sight he saw when they entered Jerse's apartment, Scully lying on that filthy bed, her exposed body beaten and bruised. He should've gone ahead, he thought to himself, and shot Jerse between the eyes. GEORGETOWN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL WASHINGTON, DC Later that night By the time Scully had arrived at the hospital, the fluids she was receiving intravenously already seemed to be helping. She now, at least, realized that she had been rescued and could no longer smell the stench of Jerse's apartment. After she had been transferred to a table in the emergency room, all she could discern was hurried voices and medical equipment clanging, opening her eyes only to be blasted by the blinding glare of the overhead light. She was trying to speak, knowing that everyone was necessarily too preoccupied with her physical condition to stop to listen to her. She started to reach for someone's arm closest to her right hand but grimaced with a gasp at her attempt, her arm sore from being restrained in the same position for the last several days. She was comforted to feel a hand take hers and a woman's face come between hers and the glowing light. "Agent Scully, can you hear me?" she said soothingly. Scully nodded and grasped at the woman's hand tightly. "It's okay. You're okay. You are very dehydrated and have some injuries, but you're going to be fine," she said calmly and sincerely. She laid Scully's arm back on the gurney as she finished "Please relax and let us help you, okay?" Scully nodded as she closed her eyes into a drugged haze and surrendered her physical self to the strangers who were continuing all around her. ROOM 306 GEORGETOWN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL Several hours later, Scully awoke feeling weak and sore, but better when she felt a hand holding hers. She opened her eyes, expecting Mulder, but finding her mother instead. "Mom?" she said, her voice faint and scratchy. "Yes, Dana, I'm here," she said softly. Scully focused on her mother's face and could now clearly see the tired, scared look in her mother's eyes. And as soon as she saw it, she felt tears trying to form, but she was unable to cry. "Dana... You're okay. I'm here," her mother said to her quietly as she moved to hold her as she could without hurting her. Scully held on to her as her mother began to cry, her crying deepening until she was sobbing openly. Scully hurt everywhere. Her ankles and wrists were raw from being wrapped in duct tape and tied with the rough nylon rope for so long. She had cried out from the pain when the nurses had removed the tape in the emergency room, her skin turgor poor from the dehydration. It had burned when they had cleaned her face, the abrasions and the cut on her lip stinging from the disinfectant. And her bottom was sore; her skin breaking down from the exposure to her urine which had been extra acidic and concentrated from having no fluid intake. But she was safe and she was going to recover. "Is Mulder here?" Scully finally asked, her mother giving her a small sip of the electrolyte balancing drink the nurses told her to give her when she could. "Yes, he followed the ambulance in from where they found you," her mother answered, encouraging another small sip. "He was there?" Scully asked, not having any memory of much of what happened. Her mother looked at her for a few moments, concerned that her daughter was having problems remembering things. "Yes, dear. He and Mr. Skinner rescued you," she told her, hoping for some recognition of that in her daughter's eyes. "Are you ready to see him?" Scully nodded, hoping her mother would give them some time alone since she didn't yet know of how far their relationship had evolved. Her mother gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and smiled to her as she left the room. Scully hoped she didn't look as bad as she felt, but figured she looked pretty rough. "Hey," Mulder said as he entered the room, not looking much better than Scully if the truth be told. "Hey," she smiled, her split lip hurting at the effort. "Ouch," she muttered in response. Mulder sat in the chair next to her bed, and after a few moments, scooted it a bit closer. "How ya feelin'?" he asked quietly. Scully couldn't quite read him through her altered state, but knew something was wrong. "I'm okay... Are you?" she asked softly, her voice still hoarse. "Me? I'm just dandy. But then, I haven't been tied up by a psychotic murderer for the last three days," he said, Scully picking up on the edge in his voice. "Mulder, what is it?" she asked straightforwardly, pushing the button on her bed to elevate her head somewhat to see him better. "Nothing... nothing. I'm just glad you're going to be alright," he said to his hands, his fatigue obvious. Scully looked at him, realizing what he must have gone through the last several days. "When's the last time you had any sleep?" she asked, wanting to take hold of his hand, but unable to reach it. "I think I fell asleep in the chair in the waiting room just a little while ago," he answered, still not really looking at her. "Mulder... please tell me what's wrong," she said, reaching her hand over the bed rail, hoping he would take it. That was when Mulder noticed her wrist, red and angry from her bindings. "Jesus Christ, Scully," he said, finally taking her hand, staring at her wound. "Yeah," she sighed, knowing he was commenting on her injury. Scully tried to reach around to put the rail down, but the attempt hurt her entire body. "Mulder, could you put the rail down, please?" "Scully, you're not going to try to get up," he questioned. "No, I want you to hold me, Mulder. I need you to," she admitted. He stood then and moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to her hip, bending to put his arms around her, burying his head next to her neck. But after a few moments that he let her have, let himself have, he released her. "Damn you, Scully," he said, standing from the bed. "I tried to warn you about that fucking Jerse, but you just couldn't listen, could you?" he said, Scully now realizing why he was being so distant with her. "Mulder, I don't think this is the time to talk about that," she told him, the memory of him touching her flashing through her mind. "I'm not sure what I remember anyway." "Oh, this isn't the time," he told her sarcastically. "No, you're right; it isn't. The time to talk about it was BEFORE you got involved with a crazy man." He began to pace around the room, not wanting to upset her with his anger, but unable to keep it in. "Please, Mulder," Scully sighed, her psyche so fragile at the moment that she didn't think she could handle him being angry with her. At any other time, she would've gone toe to toe with him, but not in her current state. Mulder realized this wasn't the time, knowing the only way he could prevent upsetting her further was to leave. "I think it's best if I leave, Scully. I, uh, need some sleep, not to mention a shower," he told her by way of an excuse, albeit transparent. "Maybe it is best," Scully sighed, not wanting him to leave, but unable to handle his mood, suddenly so tired she could hardly speak. Mulder moved toward the bed, but didn't touch her, just barely able to make eye contact with her. "I'll, uh, check on you tomorrow," he said as he left, Scully feeling tears forming in her eyes. This time, she was able to cry. THREE DAYS LATER Scully was anxious, her fingers drumming against the armrests on her wheelchair. Her doctor had discharged her, but she was waiting for the official forms. She heard a knock at the door and hoped that it was Mulder coming to pick her up. "Hi, honey," her mother said as she entered. "You ready to go?" she said as she bent to give her a quick kiss to her cheek. "More than. I'm just waiting on someone to bring in the forms and take me out of here," Scully told her, looking outside the half opened door, hoping to see Mulder. "Is Mulder with you?" "No. He called this morning to make sure I was coming after you since he couldn't make it," she answered innocently. Mulder had called her each day she was in the hospital, but hadn't been back to visit. She knew he was angry and she didn't actually find his anger all that unfounded. She had made a stupid mistake, but not the one he thought she had made. She should have told Mulder how she felt about him a long time ago, then she would never have gotten involved with anyone, let alone Ed Jerse. That was her mistake. "I think you should stay with me for a few days, Dana. You are still so weak," her mother told her, but already figuring her independent daughter would turn her down. "I just want to be in my own home, Mom. I need to go home," Scully said, her voice breaking, but not really knowing why. She needed to be grounded and without Mulder, all she had were her own familiar surroundings. MONTGOMERY COUNTY COURTHOUSE ROCKVILLE, MARYLAND Three weeks later Jerse had been hospitalized after his capture and had survived his wounds. After he was discharged, he was charged with a laundry list of crimes against Scully, enough, if convicted, to keep him in jail for the rest of his natural life. He had been arraigned and everything looked fairly straightforward until his attorney announced that his client wasn't mentally fit to stand trial. It appeared that Jerse's attorney thought he could get him the same deal he'd gotten in Philadelphia. Because of Jerse's history as well as his plea of not guilty and the issue of mental illness his lawyer was throwing in, a grand jury hearing was scheduled to determine if Jerse was capable to stand trial. And that meant that Scully would have to testify, as well as Skinner and Mulder. After her release from the hospital, Scully had taken a leave of absence from work, initially for two weeks. But after the end of that time, even though she was released for desk duty, she had put in to have her leave extended another two weeks. "I don't want to pry Agent Scully, but I'm concerned," Skinner had said, his way of asking why she needed two more weeks. She had told him she just needed more time to regain her strength, wanting to be fully recovered when she returned. He recognized it as baloney, but he didn't push and granted the extra time. What she didn't tell him, was that she and Mulder had barely spoken since he'd left her room at the hospital. The day she was discharged from the hospital, Mulder had called that evening to see if she needed anything. She had told him her mother was helping her; not exactly a lie-- she would've helped if Scully had asked. Scully had slept for over twelve hours that first night and was only up for a couple of hours before she lay down on the couch and slept for another four. She had finally called Mulder after a few days, asking if he could come over. She wanted to clear the air and she wanted to ask him about some of the details of her kidnapping that she thought she was starting to remember. And he had come, but only to drop off dinner and a few eccentric groceries. "Mulder, can you sit for just a few minutes. I want to talk," she had asked, almost pleading. "I think it would be better if we both had a little time, Scully," he had told her, barely able to look at her. "Mulder, I'm sorry you're still angry with me, but we need to settle things," she asked again. Mulder looked at her and smiled "I'm not angry with you, Scully. I just think we are in different places right now," he said, Scully very unsure of her place in his life at that point. He had left then and she had only heard from him a few times since then, both times about something at work. And she had remembered things, going through many sleepless nights and many nights with angry dreams and nightmares. She would wake from her dreams and believe she was still tied to the bed, wanting to get up to go to the bathroom or get a drink, but thinking she couldn't. When she would realized she was no longer in Jerse's apartment, her heart would pound, her ability to breath seriously compromised. Panic disorder; post traumatic stress disorder; she knew the language. But she was paralyzed from doing anything about it. At least her physical health was improving, so she told herself. She had kept up with her fluids and vitamins as her doctor had prescribed, but food seldom tasted good to her. She had lost weight, too much weight, but she just couldn't seem to eat enough to catch up. When Scully got the notice of Jerse's hearing, she was stunned, upset, actually becoming physically ill at the prospect of having to relate her story to a room full of strangers. And Ed Jerse. She had called Skinner, needing to talk with someone about the case and Mulder wasn't really a possibility, it seemed. "Dana, I don't think there's much of a chance for a plea bargain, not at this stage anyway," Skinner told her, taking a drink from his mug. He had come by early one morning and they were sitting at her kitchen table over a cup of coffee. "I think the bastard believes he is going to get a few years in the psych ward and be set free again." "This whole mess is of my own doing," she said, almost under her breath. "Don't blame yourself, Scully. Jerse is to blame and no one else," he told her and meant it. She looked at him and smiled a sad smile. "There are a few things you don't know about this case, Sir," she said, feeling embarrassed about her involvement with Jerse. "I know, Scully. I read the transcript of your statement. It doesn't change a thing. Jerse kidnapped and assaulted you. Plain and simple," he said. Scully gave him a small smile, reaching across the table to give his hand a squeeze, a gesture that said a lot. The morning of the hearing, Scully had put on her dark brown suit, preferring the longer skirt. It was then that she realized how much weight she'd lost; the suit fitting so loosely that it looked like it belonged to someone else. As she drove to the courthouse, she thought about her testimony, wondering what Jerse's attorney would ask her. She knew he wouldn't go easy on her. Skinner had told her that he and Mulder weren't scheduled until the day after her, so, at least, she didn't have to deal with seeing him. On one hand, she wanted to see him, but knew in her present state that she couldn't handle testifying and seeing Mulder, too. When she entered the courtroom, she had spoken with the district attorney for a few moments before taking her seat. And as she turned to sit, she looked up and saw Mulder, sitting in a seat in the back row. She nodded to him, her heart pounding in her chest and she wasn't sure if it was because of her testimony or seeing Mulder. She sat her briefcase in the chair and walked back to where he was sitting. "Hi. Um, Skinner thought you weren't testifying until tomorrow," she said tentatively, feeling strange talking to him. "I'm not. I came here for your testimony, for you," he told her, his voice feeling soft and comforting to her. "Mulder, I'm not sure you'll want to hear all of it," she told him frankly. "I think you may be, um, surprised by parts of it." Then she figured he had probably already read the transcript of her statement as well, but it didn't contain everything she feared would come out on the stand once Jerse's lawyer got to her. "I just wanted to be here," Mulder told her and she gave him a small nod before returning to her seat. Mulder couldn't believe how she looked; how thin and tired she looked, stressed and scared. He had never seen Scully like that and it broke his heart. Had he been a part of causing that? After all of the preliminary legal ramblings had been covered, the district attorney had called her to the stand and she was sworn in. She could feel her hands shaking and tried to steady them in her lap, hoping her nervousness wouldn't cause her voice to tremble. She had testified in court many times and she told herself she could do this and she put her Agent Scully persona firmly in place. Since this was only a grand jury hearing and not an actual trial, things were much more informal, by the charges were read aloud to open the proceedings. 'Kidnapping, assault, assault of a Federal agent, use of a weapon to commit kidnapping and assault and sexual assault, among the list of legal charges. The announcement of the latter charge making Mulder's stomach flip. 'Shit', he said to himself, not knowing before that anything had happened. "God, Scully..." The DA, a woman about Scully's age who Scully had worked with several times before, was able to get right to the essence of Scully's testimony. Scully had testified about the threats Jerse had made to her, about the phone calls, the 'stalking' of her at her apartment house. "Did he assault you any of those times at your home?" the DA asked. Scully glanced toward the back of the room at Mulder, seeing that he was intently listening to her testimony. She knew he was going to be upset by some of her answers and she felt ashamed that she hadn't told him many things she should have. "Yes. On more than one occasion. He grabbed me, and, um, shoved me... several times." "Can you tell us, Agent Scully, about the day of the kidnapping?" the DA asked unemotionally. But the events were anything but unemotional to Scully. "I, um, had just opened the trunk of my car to put my computer and my briefcase in to go to work and I was grabbed from behind. I remember a sweet-smelling cloth being placed over my mouth and immediately recognized it as chloroform. I don't remember anything else until I woke up tied to the bed in the defendant's apartment," Scully started, unable to speak Jerse's name. She certainly couldn't look at him nor did she ever want to. Scully gave an homogenized version of what he'd done to her, highlighting his striking of her, his starving of her and his refusal to give her any water despite her pleas and her worsening condition. "Did you, at any time, think he was going to let you die?" the DA asked. "Yes, I did. After speaking with my doctors, I probably had only a few hours left to live at the time I was rescued," Scully relayed, that bit of information unsettling Mulder even further. "I know this is difficult, Agent Scully, but did Mr. Jerse touch you inappropriately, sexually?" she asked softly. "Yes. He, um, cut my clothing several times, leaving me essentially naked with no sheet or blanket," she started, her hands fidgeting with the tails of her jacket. "He, um, touched my skin... between my legs... um, my breasts... put his mouth on my breasts," Scully having increasing difficulty talking about her experiences. "Did he rape you?" "I don't... I didn't remember, of course, when I was, um, drugged, so I wasn't sure. I, um... my doctors couldn't... couldn't make a definitive determination," she stuttered, her professional persona slipping with every answer. "You've testified that he never released your hands or feet the entire time you were held. If I can ask, how did you, well, how did you go to the bathroom?" the DA questioned. Scully looked down, her throat suddenly seeming like it was locked shut, her voice unable to come out. Mulder could barely stand to watch, never seeing Scully in such a fragile state. God, why hadn't he been there for her? "At, at first, he gave me a bedpan when I asked. Actually..., let me rephrase. When I, I begged. He... liked... for me to reach the point where I had to beg." "Objection! The witness has no way of knowing what Mr. Jerse likes or dislikes. She can't read his mind," Jerse's lawyer said. "Mr. Crain, this is only a hearing. You can save those objections for the trial," the judge told him. "You may continue, Agent Scully." "I'm not sure, um, exactly when it was, but I woke up... to, to find that the defendant had left the apartment and, um, I had no way to get... um, the bedpan, so, I, I, um, had no choice but to... to, um, relieve myself in, in the bed," she said, Mulder probably the only one who noticed that her voice had cracked. "And what happened when he came home and the bed was soiled?" "He screamed at me, blamed me... hit me... about the face, um... pulled on my restraints - he knew it hurt my wrists and ankles," she relayed, her voice barely above a whisper. "He did that... um, a lot when he was mad." "Could you move closer to the microphone, Agent Scully," the judge reminded her. But Mulder knew she was close enough to the microphone; it was her voice that was failing. "What kinds of things did he say to you?" "He, um, yelled and screamed, usually obscenities. He berated me... called me denigrating names... terrible things... talked to me in riddles, telling me he'd give me water if I could 'figure things out', 'learn my lesson'," she said, her chin beginning to quiver. "But I couldn't figure it out... I couldn't!" she said and for some reason, that got to her. She began to cry, covering her face with her hands as she sobbed. "Can we take a recess, your honor?" the DA asked and he granted it. Scully continued to sob openly in front of the courtroom, Mulder stunned at her display. He had never seen Dana Scully lose control like that in his life and if they hadn't moved Jerse immediately out of the courtroom, he'd have strangled him with his own hands. Scully felt the DA lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Come on, Dana. We can go to an ante room for some privacy." "I'll take her," Mulder said, Scully hearing his voice between her sobs, not seeing him approach. She felt his strong arm go around her back, his hand under her arm to help steady her as she stood. The DA led them to a room off the courtroom and closed the door behind her as she left them alone. Continued in Pt. 7 TITLE: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN-7 AUTHOR: DYANN ZIMMERMAN E-MAIL: philer@onemain.com MONTGOMERY COUNTY COURTHOUSE ROCKVILLE, MARYLAND Mulder held her then, stunned by her uncharacteristic display, not quite believing he had witnessed Dana Scully falling apart in front of a room full of strangers. He could feel her trembling against him, her body almost dead weight as he held her. "Come on and sit down," Mulder said to her softly, steering her to the closest chair. She sat, but would barely let go of him long enough to do it. Mulder stuck his head out the door and asked a clerk for some water. He returned to Scully and pulled a chair close to her and took her hands in his. "Take all the time you need, Scully." The clerk returned with the water and Mulder poured Scully a glass, but she didn't take it. "I can't do this, Mulder. I can't," she spoke softly, her entire body seeming defeated. "Scully, you can do this. The Dana Scully I know can do anything," he said to her. Scully finally looked up at him, her expression making his heart break. "The Dana Scully you knew doesn't exist anymore, Mulder," she told him, leaning back against the chair and closing her eyes. "I don't think I realized that until I... until up there on the stand..." "Scully... I, I should've... I had no idea...," he tried to tell her, not knowing exactly what he wanted to say. He assumed she had been with her mother much of the time and knew she had been required by the FBI to undergo mandatory counseling before she would be allowed to return to duty, so he figured she didn't really need anything from him. What he didn't know was that she hadn't done any of it. "Jesus, Scully..." he sighed, realizing just that. Suddenly the door opened and the DA entered carefully. "Dana, the clerk is calling for us," she told her. "We'll be right in," Mulder answered for her. "Scully?" Scully took a deep breath before she stood, straightening her suit when she did, Mulder noticing that it was about to fall off of her and remembering when that outfit had fit her very nicely. "Let's get this over with," she said, trying to find her resolve. The DA finished her questioning, no real doubt that Jerse had premeditatedly committed a crime and was no crazier than any other person who kidnaps and assaults someone. But Jerse's attorney seemed determined to try to make him seem that way. "So, Agent Scully, is it true that you were actually dating my client?" "Yes, several weeks before he abducted me," Scully answered plainly. "Was this relationship intimate?" he asked callously. Scully hesitated before answering, but knew it was inevitable that the information would come forward. "Yes, on one occasion." "Once? Are you telling me that you dated my client for, what, three months, and you were only intimate once?" "Yes." "Are you in the habit of sleeping with men who you think are mentally ill?" he asked pointedly. Mulder had to laugh at himself over that question, not exactly sure how Scully was going to answer. "He isn't mentally ill," she answered simply. "So, at the time you and my client were dating, you found Mr. Jerse to be quite a normal person." "Yes." "In your experience, do 'normal' people kidnap other people?" "Quite often, yes," she answered, avoiding the trap he was trying to set. "Most criminals are glaringly normal... all too average." "You aren't trying to tell us that you think kidnapping is normal?" "That isn't what you asked. The defendant did what he did for a very common reason. Jealousy." "And what is it that you think Mr. Jerse was supposedly jealous about?" the lawyer asked facetiously. "He kidnapped me because I had broken off our relationship." "But how is it that you think that made him jealous? What was he jealous of?" "He was jealous because... because I was... in love with someone else," she finished, Mulder feeling so much to hear her say it out loud. DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC Later that evening Jerse's lawyer continued to badger her for awhile, but his attempts to get Scully to say that Jerse suffered from mental illness were futile. She had been able to compose herself enough to finish her testimony, but afterward, felt like she was barely able to walk, physically and emotionally tired. Mulder had insisted on driving her home and she had ended up giving in quite easily, to his surprise. Mulder stayed with her a little while, Scully telling him she was tired and needed to rest. He knew she was in no shape to talk about what he knew they needed to talk about so he didn't press. She had changed into her pajamas and robe and he had made her some tea and a cream cheese sandwich. "Well, I guess I'll go, Scully. Sure you don't need anything?" he asked. Scully could see that he was upset, scared for her and she wondered why they had ever let themselves get so distant. "No, I'm good for tonight," she said, sitting against a big stack of pillows Mulder had put on the couch for her. "But, um, if you'd want to bring dinner by tomorrow night, that'd be good." "Yeah, I think that would be good," he said, giving her a soft smile as he let himself out. DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON, DC The next evening Scully had waked the next morning and for some reason, felt better than she had felt in a long, long time. Maybe it was because everything she'd pent up about her kidnapping had finally been revealed in court, and to Mulder; maybe it was because she knew they were finally going to talk and get everything else out into the open. She would have some sense of resolution, one way or the other. She picked up around the apartment, took a nice leisurely walk, but feeling winded by the time she returned home. God, she was out of shape; some from her dehydration, but much from not having taken very good care of herself the last few weeks. She had laughed at herself for struggling to decide what she would wear for her dinner with Mulder. She decided on a worn pair of jeans and a pale rose blouse, hoping it would give her some color so maybe Mulder wouldn't comment on how pale she was. "Salvatore made you take-out again?" she asked as she unwrapped Mulder's dinner offering. "I told you, Scully, he wants you," Mulder teased, putting a couple of plates on the table. "Stop it. I'll never be able to look at the man again," she answered, handing Mulder a bottle of red wine to open. Mulder glanced at the bottle she handed him, then at her. "Is it okay for you to be drinking this, Scully?" he asked, concerned. "It's fine, Mulder. As a matter of fact, my doctor told me to drink a glass every night. Red wine is good for anemia," she said, both of them sitting down at the table. "You're anemic?" "Yes, but much less so than when I went into the hospital," she told him with a soft smile. "If I asked how you were doing, medically, I mean, would you tell me?" Mulder asked. Scully looked at him sincerely before answering, letting him know that she would tell him everything. And she did, Mulder relieved that, physically, she had recuperated fairly well. "I was, um, pretty shocked when I saw you in court, how thin..." "I know. I guess I was more worried about the hearing than I realized. I haven't had much of an appetite," she confessed honestly. "Of course, if I have you bringing me food from Salvatore's every night, I'll fatten up quickly," she kidded. "I'll do it, you know," he told her, reaching across the table for her hand. "Will you?" she asked, both of them knowing they weren't talking about lasagna. "I'm sorry about everything, Scully. I've wanted to be with you every day... I just didn't know what you wanted," Mulder told her. Scully thought about what Mulder said for a few moments, carefully thinking about how she was going to respond but wanting to be totally open and honest. "I don't doubt that, Mulder, but I think if we're both honest, we've let our own pride and selfishness control us," she told him. "I thought about you every day, hell, all day every day. But I wouldn't let myself call you. And I think you did the same thing," Scully said, leaning back in her chair. "Yeah. We've both been pretty stupid," he admitted. "It was just stupid." "Mulder, I know you have questions," she said slowly. "And I'll answer any questions you have about... about Ed Jerse. Anything. I can't stand... I don't want this to stay between us, Mulder. I, I need to get past what's happened to me, to us," she finished, not allowing the tears in her eyes to fall. "You know, Scully. I did have questions... lots of them. But after hearing your testimony... I realized how meaningless and inconsequential they were," he explained. "They just aren't important anymore." "Mulder, I want the air cleared. I don't want any of this hanging over us," she said. "Promise, Scully. I'm done with all of my petty shit. I should've been here for you," Mulder said, abject regret obvious in his entire demeanor. "I should have let you be, Mulder," she countered, her hand reaching out for his. She took a drink of her wine, looking down at her dinner that had gotten cold. She looked up at him, making sure she got his eye contact. "I love you, Mulder. I don't ever want anything to come between us again." "Scully..." he started, sounding serious. "Should we reheat this food or should we put it in the refrigerator and find something else to do?" he smiled his skewed, mischievous smile at her. "You know, now that you mention it, I think I'd rather eat it later," she said, returning his knowing smile. Mulder leaned across the table and kissed her softly at first, then slipping his hand behind her neck and deepening their kiss. "Let's get that food in the fridge," he said when he'd pulled away and they quickly cleaned up their dinner. "I'm bringing you dinner every night. You're too thin," he told her his hand stroking the soft skin of her stomach. They had gone into the bedroom, barely able to stop kissing, each of them wanting to be together so badly they could barely wait. They undressed each other quickly, Mulder turning back the covers and both of them crawling in together. "God, I want you," he murmured into her ear, feeling himself starting to stiffen. "Mulder..." she sighed, feeling him growing hard against her hip. "I almost can't believe this is happening," he said as he kissed her face. "I was worried about us..." "I was too. I was too..." she said, but then smiling at him in pleasant anticipation of what was going to happen, reaching for him and stroking him softly, yet firmly. He kissed her soundly, then, his hand slipping up to massage her breast as they kissed. "Still worried?" she smiled. He smiled at her and kissed her for all he was worth, moving on top of her as he guided himself to her opening. He could feel her wetness against his glans, his fingers and he moved into her with a long steady push, with a low moan that made her shiver. Almost simultaneously, they began to move in slow, measured movements. "Damn, Scully. What you do to me." "What you're doing to me isn't half bad either," she murmured into his ear before kissing down the line of his jaw, finding his lips. She loved kissing him. Scully moved her hands over his hips, pulling him deeper as he moved. He shifted himself up on his hands, pushing into her with more force as she moved up, grasping his upper arms, almost sitting, before cradling his face in her hands. "I love you," she said deeply into his passionate eyes. He moved back onto his ankles, reaching behind her to take her with him. Straddling his lap, she pushed against him, her arms snaking around his neck while they continued to kiss. She moved against him, her hips rotating, harder and harder until he jerked with several short, powerful thrusts coming into her, grunting her name between his panting breaths. He laid her back down, managing to move within her a few more times to bring her to orgasm, Mulder moving up a bit to watch her. Her hips shuddered, her fingernails almost painful against his shoulders. Her internal muscles were clamping him hard, her release a strong one. Finally, she was able to open her eyes, finding Mulder watching her, his look one of amazement. He looked at her, breathless, "I think I did my job. Good one, eh?" He felt the vibration of her laughter against his chest before rolling off her. "Good? You underestimate your talents," she smiled to him. He reached for her, pulling her over to him as she crawled halfway over his body, resting her head on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck. He loved the feel of her bare breasts against his damp body, the feel of her leg on his groin. He embraced her firmly and she laid her head against his shoulder before he covered them with the blanket as they both drifted off to sleep. THE NEXT MORNING Scully woke to an empty bed; her first thought being that Mulder had left. But then realized he wouldn't do that, not now. Scully went to the bathroom and then slipped on her robe and went in search of Mulder. She found him in the kitchen, making coffee in his underwear. His hair was wet, so he'd already had a shower, but she hadn't heard him. Mulder turned to look at her, his smile growing as she walked toward him. "How are you this morning?" he smiled. She moved up close to him and leaned against the counter, looking up at him. "Good..." she smiled. "Very good." Scully touched his chest with her fingers and Mulder could see that she seemed suddenly emotional. He stopped what he was doing and moved to wrap his arms around her. "Last night was wonderful," she said softly against his chest. "It felt so good to be together again, to reconnect," she said, looking up at him again. "I've missed you, Scully," he told her, holding her face to give her a soft kiss, his thumbs feathering her cheeks. "I've missed being with you like that." Finally, they pulled apart and they both busied themselves working on breakfast, everything back to normal. YANKEE STADIUM NEW YORK CITY Three months later Mulder had essentially moved in within a month or so, but he still had his apartment, Scully teasing him that it was an awfully expensive storage unit. They had talked a bit about getting a larger place together somewhere, but just hadn't taken the step to do it yet. The case with Jerse had continued to be a part of their lives, both of them being called to Rockville to meet with the District Attorney at various times in preparation of her case. Talking about it had gotten easier as things dragged on and it almost began to seem like any other case. Almost. On one particular day, they had gone to Rockville together and were in the car on their way home. "The DA thinks he saw himself as kind of an 'urban hipster'," Scully told him with a smile. "Urban hipster? Kinda makes me want to choke on my double latte'," Mulder quipped. "Anyway, she thinks he saw me as just adding to that persona," Scully said, but asking for Mulder's view. "I guess, in a way, I could agree with that. I think even in Philadelphia, what he did, wasn't totally due to the ergot poisoning. I think the ergot just served to bring out underlying qualities of his personality," Mulder told her as he drove. "That's why you didn't become violent. You just don't have it in you." Scully's phone began to ring and she dug around in her pocket to find it. "Scully," she answered quickly. "Dana, this is Rachel McCann," the District Attorney in Jerse's case. "I'm glad I was able to reach you because I have some news I think you're going to like." "Yes..." Scully said, not sure where the DA's conversation was going. "Ed Jerse just agreed took a plea," she started. "And before you worry, I feel we got a good sentence. He knew he faced the death penalty for kidnapping a federal officer, so we were able to plea life without chance of parole." Scully was stunned, not really knowing how to react for several seconds until she could gather her wits. "I, um, don't know what to say," Scully finally answered. "So, what, it's over then?" "Yes, Dana. All that's left is for the papers to be drawn and for everyone to sign off. I knew you'd want to know," she told her. Scully had thanked her and closed her phone before ever glancing in Mulder's direction. "Jerse plead out. Life without possibility of parole," she said quickly. "Goddamn... Well, that's great, Scully. I guess," he said, thinking maybe he would've liked to have seen him fry. But he knew Scully didn't want that; she had told him she didn't want him to get the death penalty, but she didn't ever want him back out on the street again either. "It's... it's the best news I could've gotten. I guess I just can't quite believe it," she smiled to him. "I think this calls for a celebration," he grinned at her, Scully suddenly worried about what he might have up his sleeve. "Okay, Mulder. Who'd you grease to get these good seats?" she teased, adjusting her sunglasses to watch the game. Mulder had surprised her with a weekend in New York, including box seats for a Yankees/Red Sox game. "I know people," he grinned. "The Gunmen can get seats like these?" she teased. "Funny," he smirked at her. "I appreciate you agreeing to come to this game, Scully. I know it isn't exactly your favorite way to spend your Saturday afternoon." Scully just looked at him intently, leaning over to give him a long, deep kiss, shocking him at her rare public display of affection. "Mulder, what you don't seem to realize is...," she started. "This is the date of my dreams..." THE END Feedback Welcomed at philer@onemain.com