Title:   One lonely night (1/1)
Author:  Kimogen
E-Mail:  kimogen5@hotmail.com
Category:  MSR
Spoilers: Audrey Pauley
Rating:  NC-17. Nothing else will do.

Summary: He had said that he knew all about her. He knew everything,
especially how she had invited Mulder into her bed one lonely night.

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of someone undoubtedly
richer than me. Which isn't hard right now.

Authors notes: I really should be writing an essay right now...call
this procrastination if you will. And the dates are all pretty cagey,
in fact, I'm crap with timeline so I made it all up.
Feedback is always welcome: Kimogen5@hotmail.com
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
October 27 2002

Having left Agents Doggett and Reyes back at the quarry, Dana drove
home to her apartment alone. She swung the door open to discover that
the Lone Gunmen had been efficient in their task. The apartment had
been swept for bugs and the three men were seated, side by side on her
couch. She knew what they had found from the grave expressions on
their faces.

"How bad is it guys?" Her question belied her inner turmoil with its
casualness, a fact she was momentarily proud of. Frohike stood and
Dana felt her heart contract with affection for the tiny man. The trio
had been so good to her since Mulder's disappearance. She owed them 
so much.

"Its bad, Scully." She nodded and turned to Langley, who held up a
transparent plastic bag of electronic equipment.

"Listening devices in every room, visual equipment positioned at
various vantage points." Frohike paused, deciding she didn't need
elaboration. "Basically, you've got top of the range stuff here. The
best."

"How...How much could have been...picked up?" Dana felt a flush rise
up over her chest, caused by the sudden mixture of embarrassment and
anger, the horror at the invasion of her privacy evident on her face.
The three men refused to meet her eye and she knew the violation had
been complete. She gasped slightly. "Everywhere?" The silence spoke
for them. Dana dropped into a chair, fighting tears. "Is the place
clean now?" Byers nodded as he approached her.

"To the best of our knowledge. We've checked everywhere, scanned and
checked again. We'll organise a rota at your convenience. We can do
this every week, every day if need be." He placed a hand on her
shoulder, a sheepish look on his face. Dana's nod, followed by her
stunned silence gave them their cue to leave and the Gunmen had
traipsed out, taking the bag of electronics with them. They knew from
long experience that Dana Scully liked to do her grieving in private.

Dana remained on her couch for almost an hour until her mother arrived
with baby William. She feigned normality for the benefit of her
over-protective parent, accepting the offer of dinner on Friday and
spending long minutes discussing the floral arrangements her mother
was preparing for the church. The false interest was agonising for
Dana, who just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there, the covers
over her head. Finally, her mother left.

She balanced William on one hip as she moved around the apartment,
following the parting advice of the Gunmen and covering all of her
windows. Pulling down roman blinds and sliding closed Venetians, Dana
clung to her son as she moved from room to room. Eventually, she made
her way into the bedroom. She stared at the big, comfortable bed and
hugged William's tiny body closer to her. She was comforted by his
warmth and his sweet baby-scent as she climbed onto the bed, dragging
the comforter around her shoulders. She lay William in the centre and
snuggled beside him, one hand resting upon his tiny baby chest.
William whined slightly and waved his arms and legs in protest against
being put to bed so soon, but he quickly succumbed to sleep, opening
his mouth wide and letting out a snuffling yawn that scrunched up his
features and made his mother smile. Dana stroked his soft cheek as he
dropped quickly off to sleep, exhausted by a long day playing with his
doting Grandma.

Dana longed for sleep to come so easily to her, knowing that it
wouldn't. She had too many thoughts running through her head to sleep
much that night. Instead, she sat up, looking around the room,
wondering where the devices had been: where she had been watched 
from, where her conversations had been heard from. She felt a sudden
defiance rising in her chest, suddenly hoping that the people watching
her had enjoyed the show, that her life had been entertaining. She
certainly hoped she had shocked a few people with the things that had
gone on in that apartment. After all, the little darling that slept
soundly beside her had been conceived in the bed she sat on.

Dana lay back against the pillows, a single tear escaping to run
unbidden down her cheek. Her emotions were so mixed, she didn't know
how to feel. She was so alone in that instant that the pain in her
heart became physical. Dana sat forward, the tears coming suddenly,
catching her off guard. Sobs quickly wracked her body, hysteria
building unannounced as Dana thought about the danger that Mulder 
was in. So much had happened that day. There was no way she could even
contact him, no way he could get a message to her, telling her he was
alive. She could only hope that he had escaped the quarry.

John had searched the quarry in the hope of catching up to Mulder,
whilst Monica had stayed with her in the car, the heaters running full
blast to stave off the effects of the impending shock. Dana had
allowed her to brush her hair back, stroking her arm as she wrapped a
blanket tighter around her. Dana had been glad for the younger woman's
support, glad for her friendship. She and Monica had become close over
the months since William's birth. She had a lot to be grateful for.
But John had come up with nothing. Mulder knew it wasn't safe to be
found.

Finally the tears had stopped. William woke and demanded to be fed.
Dana always nursed her son in the rocking chair in the nursery, it
made her feel somehow closer to Mulder, knowing that was how he 
would remember them, mother and baby. She rocked herself gently, allowing
the rhythm to sooth her as the baby snuffled and suckled contentedly
in her arms. Dana allowed her eyes to slip closed, thinking back to
the first time she had seated herself in the chair and fed her
new-born son.

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
15 April 2002
Dana had allowed Mulder to reposition the chair for her as she hovered
in the doorway of the nursery, holding their angry son as he declared
his hunger, exercising his new-born lungs. At only two days old, he
had proven to be a good baby, rarely crying, except when he was
hungry. Mulder helped her lower herself gingerly into the seat, still
sore from the difficult birth, only days before. Mulder was cringing
as much as she was, offering to fetch her a rubber ring in his effort
to make light of the situation. She had scoffed as she unbuttoned her
shirt, telling him that was for haemorrhoids, and that she would be
fine, so long as he didn't ask her to do it again any time soon.
Mulder had let her in on his plan to keep her pregnant and barefoot
for the next twenty years, smiling down at their beautiful little boy,
latched contentedly to his mother's swollen breast. Mulder had cried
then, as he knelt at her feet, stroking his son's downy head.

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
October 27 2002

Dana lowered the baby into his crib, fed, burped, changed and ready
for sleep once again. She was glad of their night-time rituals,
knowing that she would see her son again at around three am, not quite
sleeping through, but generally having around five hours at a time. He
always managed to call her from the depths of her worst nightmares, as
though the little boy was woken by his mother's anguish. She smiled as
she patted his little bottom and lay him flat on his back, his eyes
already closed. She gazed down at him a moment longer before turning
off the main light and leaving him. William truly was her pride and
joy.

Dana moved into the bathroom and brushed her hair back into a
ponytail, high on the back of her head. She washed her face in the
sink, starting the shower and allowing the water to heat as she
stripped her clothes. As she dropped her sweater into the laundry
basket by the door, she wondered exactly how much had been seen by 
the strange man who seemed to know so much about her. Admittedly, he 
had told her he knew everything. Dana shuddered as she stepped under the
spray, drawing the curtain around her and shivering, despite the hot
water.

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
19 November 2001

Mulder had offered to help her 'wash up' before dinner that night. She
had offered to cook on arrival at the office that morning, but a
hectic day of meeting after meeting and a stack of paperwork had left
her energy reserves low. They had still met up at her place, but
decided against the lasagne she had intended on making, instead opting
for a quick salad. They were both eager to get beyond dinner as it
was. Mulder had made it his personal mission to drive her insane all
day, with his heated glances across the conference table in Skinner's
office, his arm brushing her breast as he reached for a file rested on
the corner of Kersh's desk, and then his shoeless foot running the
length of her calf as she delivered her report to a panel of
directors. He had even gone so far as to pinch her bottom as she left
the room, making her squeal in front of six assistant directors. And
at the time, she hoped no one on the crowded elevator heard her moan
as his erection ground into her from behind.

But as he stripped her slowly naked and pulled her into the shower,
Dana was glad for the fact that there was no cooked meal to go cold
whilst Mulder begged for forgiveness for his bad behaviour beneath the
hot spray. Dana had been only too quick to forgive as his hands, then
his tongue and finally his rock hard penis had made it up to her. As
Dana's cries had echoed off the tiles, she had decided that the day's
tensions had been worth it.

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
October 27 2002

Dana had shut off the shower with shaking fingers and quickly towelled
off. The bathroom seemed suddenly ice-cold around her and she couldn't
wait to be dry and clothed once again. Forgoing dinner, Dana slid into
bed, pulling the covers around her and over her head in an effort to
get warm. Her eyes closed easily, but sleep did not come. She lay
there, shivering until her teeth chattered, huddled beneath the
covers, praying for sleep to swallow her for a few hours before
William woke. As she lay there, trying to forget the events of the
day, Dana allowed her mind to wander. She thought of all the nights
she had lain awake in that very bed. She smiled at the realisation
that Mulder's insomnia had rubbed off on her many years before they
had ever spent a night together. His erratic sleep patterns had led
her to sleep with one eye open, always ready for the phone to ring,
even at three, four, five am. He had always laughed at how she would
sleep anywhere, at any time; in the car, on a plane, in waiting
rooms...anywhere she could rest her head on one hand. Little did he
know that he was the root of her narcolepsy.

Dana turned over in the big bed, thinking back to one particular
sleepless night. Remembering the words of the mysterious man who had
duped her so easily, Dana shuddered. She knew from his revelation that
he had witnessed her moment of weakness, how she had invited Mulder
into her bed one lonely night. With her eyes squeezed tightly closed,
Dana allowed the memories to wash over her, unbidden, playing as clear
as the video tape they had undoubtedly been recorded onto, by some
unknown source.

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
April 16 2001

Dana had been unable to sleep at all for nearly a week. She had
snatched brief moments, but never more than an hour or so at a time.
She was functioning on adrenaline, knowing that their caseload was
heavy and that by throwing herself into her work, she would hopefully
be able to forget the events of the past week. Mulder had offered to
stay with her the night she had discovered the truth about the
unsuccessful IVF, but she had sent him on his way shortly after
midnight, needing to grieve in private. That was how Agent Scully did
things. In private. Of course, he had protested, but she had refused,
choosing to ignore his own sorrow at the failure, too consumed by her
own needs. She had spent a restless night wandering the rooms of her
small apartment in the dark, refusing to cry. By morning, she was
concerned that there were visible track-marks left in the thick
carpeting.

Days had passed and Dana remained isolated. Mulder tried so hard to
make her talk about it, but she shrugged his pleas off with a generic
'I'm fine', seeing him cringe every time the words left her lips. She
could see how her pain affected him, but found herself unable to speak
the words that ran on a loop through her head. Instead, she tried so
hard to forget.

Finally, six nights after it happened, Dana Scully broke. She found
the phone in her hand before she realised what she was doing, and the
speed-dial was calling Mulder's number. Unable to speak through the
sobs that finally escaped the walls she had built up, she had cried
into the phone at the sound of his voice. Mulder had dressed and
gathered his things with the phone pressed to his ear calling
desperately down the phone to her, begging her to stay with him as he
rushed to his car and sped to her apartment, running more stoplights
in that one journey than he had in his entire life, leaving him glad
for the late hour.

Mulder had found her curled in a tiny ball on her side in the middle
of the bed, the covers pulled up and around her. He had pulled the
quilt back and drawn her into his arms, telling her that it would all
be fine, that she was going to be fine. His words of comfort had made
her cry all the harder, her sorrow unstoppable once it was released,
and Mulder had suddenly found his own tears relentless. He had joined
her then, their hearts pouring out in a torrent of guilt and love and
fear. They ended up, wrapped together, tearstained and heartbroken at
the realisation of what could never be.

He had pressed kisses onto her skin as he rocked her in his arms,
lulling her like a child, murmuring nonsense down into her hair. Dana
had clung to him, begging him to never let her go, telling him she
loved him more than life itself, pleading with him to take her away,
away from the Truth and conspiracies and little green men. He couldn't
bring himself to tell her no, but even in her misery, she knew his
heart would never belong to her alone. She didn't care. Dana had
already bared her soul to him that night, and when he finally tugged
the covers over them both, still holding her tightly, she begged him
to make love to her, to make her feel human again, kissing his face
and along his neck, tracing the planes of his body with trembling
fingers.

Mulder had stilled her roaming hands, pulling her away and telling her
he couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to. He blamed her emotional
state, despite her insistence, as she struggled angrily against him,
telling him she loved him, shouting the words, unashamed. Dana Scully
had spent too much time being ashamed, hiding her feelings in the
shadows and she told him as much, lashing out. She had implored him 
to believe her, asked him why he didn't want her when he said he loved
her. She had cried all over again, soaking his shirt with her tears as
he held her to him, his words masking the desire he felt surging in
his body as she curled her tiny form against him, kissing any skin she
could reach.

Finally, he succumbed. Mulder had laid her gently upon the mattress,
his hand light against her cheek and along her jaw. He traced the vee
of her pyjama-top and pressed his fingers into the valley of her
breasts, unbuttoning as he went. He watched her heaving chest as he
stripped her clothes away, his mouth setting light to every inch of
skin that it touched, her chest, her stomach, her thighs. He had
divested his own clothes quickly as she lay still in the centre of the
bed, her eyes closed, wearing only her underwear. Mulder had returned
to her and peeled away her simple lingerie, leaving her naked and
trembling beneath his touch. She was ready for him immediately,
brushing his hand away and pulling him towards her, dragging his body
down to cover her completely as his mouth descended upon hers. Their
kisses were hot, tongues mimicking their movements elsewhere and he
plunged into her, filling her completely. Dana cried out his name,
urging him to be more brutal with her, harder, faster. He was driving
into her with all his strength and still it wasn't enough. Finally,
Mulder felt her clench around him, her hot little body becoming rigid
beneath him and it was all too much for him. He followed her, shouting
out her name as he came, driving her down into the soft mattress and
forcing the air from her lungs.

It was Dana who had endeavoured to roll them over, covering him like a
blanket with her hot and sticky body. Mulder managed to reach around
and draw the quilt over them as the sweat began to cool, leaving them
shivering in the darkness. He rubbed a hand idly along her spine,
whispering that he loved her into her hair, which cascaded over his
face, ticking his nose. Dana smiled against his chest, her tongue
flicking out to taste him one last time before she drifted off into a
deep sleep.

They had slept like that until they were woken in the morning by the
ringing of the phone.

Apartment of Dana Scully
Georgetown
Washington DC
October 27 2002

Turning in the bed, Dana cringed at the thought that some unknown
stranger had witnessed the events of a night that should have been so
private. She had no qualms about sharing her deepest needs and
insecurities with Mulder that night, he was her soul-mate after all.
They had discovered that much early on in their partnership, even
before Mulder had admitted that she was his constant, his touchstone.
But the thought that some quiet observer had witnessed it all,
watching them on a screen somewhere, like a soap-opera, made her
stomach churn with disgust. She longed to be able to call Mulder, to
have him rush to her side, and take her into his arms and rock her
gently as she cried. She wanted to see him so badly it made her ache
for him.

From the nursery, William began to cry, alerting her to the time and
causing her to glance at the clock. It read 3:27. She must have slept,
even though her body didn't feel as though she had. Dana threw back
the covers and padded to the nursery, hoisting her son up into her
arms, ready for his night feed.

THE END.