TITLE:    REVEALING
AUTHOR:   DONNILEE
E-MAIL:   DONNILEE@SNET.NET
CATEGORY: MSR
RATING:   NC-17
SPOILERS: Duane Barry, Never Again, FTF, Lazarus, 
Wetwired, Fire, War of the Corprophages, The End 
DISCLAIMER: All X-Files characters are the property of Chris 
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Broadcasting.  Anyone I 
owned would get nookie on a regular basis!

SUMMARY:  It's Scully's turn to 'fess up.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Sequel to "R is for Revelations".

Re-veal-ing - adj. (ca. 1925) allowing a look at or an understanding 
of something inner or hidden.  INSIGHTFUL - revealingly - adv.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PART 1 (R )
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
THE MORNING AFTER ....

I made love to my partner last night.

He answered all my questions.  Most the first night.

He answered the rest the next day when we ended up in my 
bedroom.

Hoo boy!  This man has rocked my world.  He's rocked my world 
before with his crazy ideas and his wild theories.  But that's work.  
Last night, he rocked my personal world.

Fox William Mulder told me that he was in love with me.

Fancy that!

And the sexiest man on two legs that I've ever encountered (that 
would be Mulder), fucked my brains out last night.   I always 
thought that was a rather crude expression and didn't really get it.  
Now I do.  Any academic acumen that I possessed went flying out 
the window the minute this man's mouth took possession of mine.  
I no longer had any capacity for thinking.

I became a creature of pure sensation, lost in the waving pleasure 
that coursed through my body as he took control of it.  No logic, no 
reason, no brains involved.  Just pure FEELING.  I hadn't even 
known that I was capable of that level of letting go.

I gave him pleasure too, but lordy, I didn't even know that kind of 
pleasure was possible.  I always knew that I hadn't had the best 
lovers. I'd read those unrealistic romance novels, detailing people 
in positions that would require them to be contortionists or Houdini 
to perform.  I figured the reality was somewhere in between.  I 
scoffed when they talked about losing yourself to the pleasure.  
Now I knew what they meant.

Mulder was my lover.  Holy shit.  I couldn't even process this right 
now.

I nestled deeper into the covers and felt his arm tighten around my 
waist.  My head was laying on his shoulder, one of my legs tucked 
in between his.  His face was smooth and untroubled in sleep.  I 
could see the laugh lines at the corner of his eyes that were more 
from worry and guilt than from laughter.  We were both so young 
all those years ago when I walked into that basement.  The trials 
and tribulations of the X-Files were showing on both our faces 
now.

Somehow though, on him, it made him even more attractive. He'd 
lost his boyish look, although he came close to it in sleep.  In it's 
place was the face of a wise man, a man confident in own skin, 
more accepting of the world around him.  He had a distinguished 
look to him now.  He was still passionate and far from resigned, 
but he was less impulsive now.  I could see a few gray hairs 
starting to make themselves known at his temples.

I couldn't resist running my hands through that soft, thick, chestnut 
hair. He hummed in the back of his throat and his eyes opened 
slowly.  He viewed me lazily, smiling softly.  He looked so 
content, so ... happy.  Did I put that look there?

I smiled back.  "Morning," he mumbled.

"Morning, sunshine."

He chuckled slowly.  He pulled me up so that I was laying on his 
chest.  His thumbs rubbed idly over my collar bones and made me 
shiver. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Why?  Are you going to cook for me again?"

"If you want me too.  But then we get down to business."

"Business?"  I furrowed my brow at him.

"Your turn to answer some questions, Agent Scully."

I groaned and buried my face in the cove of his neck and shoulder.  
He chuckled again.  "You're not getting out of it so don't even try.  
I bared my soul the last two days and it's your turn."

I lifted my head and looked him in the eye.  "Why do I have the 
feeling you are going to make this very difficult for me?"

He grinned.  "We'll see."

XXXXXXXXXX

"We have two more days off, Mulder.  What are we going to do 
with them?"

I replied, "First, I'm going to take advantage of your promise to be 
forthcoming. Then I think I need to fetch some more clothes and 
return here."

"And then?"

"And then I'm going to leave that bedroom to pee and eat and 
shower and that's it."

I grinned, shaking my head.  We were sitting comfortably on the 
couch.  She was sitting sideways in the large V of my legs.  One of 
her arms was between my back and the couch.  The other laid idly 
on my chest.  Her fingers traced random patterns on my shirt.  I 
delighted in the feel of her fingers running over my chest, my 
muscles twitching under her hand.  She rolled her head on my 
shoulder and looked up at me.

Both my arms came around her waist and she leaned in to kiss me 
softly.  I teased her swollen lips that were bruised from the passion 
of the night before. "Mmm," I hummed in the back of my throat, 
thrilling that I could touch her like this now, kiss her.  It was 
unbelievable to me.

She flushed.  I amazed that such a simple thing could give her so 
much pleasure and put such a look of joy and bliss on her face.  
She actually looked ... relaxed ... for the first time in years!  She 
pulled back and smiled at me.  "We need to stop that, Scully, or I'll 
get distracted."

"That was the idea," she teased.

"Oh, no.  I may never have an opportunity like this again and I'm 
taking full advantage."

She relaxed against me and snuggled against his chest. "O.K., fire 
away when ready!  What do you want to know?"

"Hmmm...."  I was silent a moment and then said, "We'll start off 
easy.  I don't want to scare you off, but I don't want to waste my 
questions either."

"Mulder, you know that there really is no limit here, don't you?" 
she asked.

"Yes, but I'm trying to stay in the spirit of the game.  If your 
answers dredge up other questions, then they can be answered 
later.  There is something ... safe ... about asking these questions in 
the context of the game. It seems less threatening.  Last night, I 
warned you that I was going to be 100 percent honest, and that 
exonerated me in my mind to a degree from responsibility of the 
possible consequences.  I figured if you didn't want to know then 
you shouldn't ask.  It was a comforting feeling even though I knew 
it was partially false."

"I know what you mean.  We're all responsible for ourselves but I 
also knew that if I asked, then I had no stake to complain about the 
answer.  I asked for it."  She paused.  "And boy, did I ever get it!" 
she exclaimed, wriggling her cute bottom against my groin.

I laughed and stilled her hips with my hands.  I didn't want to get 
excited right now.  I had to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"So ..." I began.

"So ..." she replied, grinning at me.

"Question one.  How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

She cleared her throat.  "Eighteen, first year of college."

I nodded.  "Two, how many lovers have you had?"

She cocked an eyebrow at me.  "Really want to know."

I swallowed harshly and nodded.  I wanted to know how 
experienced she was.  I had no real interest in the details, but I 
didn't want to shock her if she was inexperienced or insult her if 
she was very experienced. "Yes," I said firmly.

She stared at me for a few, long moments and then said, "Five."

I released the breath I didn't realize that I'd been holding.  I was 
waiting for to spew out some large number.  Five.  That was 
enough, but not that many considering her age.

"I know about Jack Willis and Daniel Waterson," I began.

She was peering at me sagely.  "And?" she prompted.

I took a deep breath.  "Three, Tell me ... who the others were, just 
names and how old you were at the time and the circumstances of 
your relationship with them.  You know, at what point in your 
life."

"That will be two questions, one for the names and one for the 
circumstances."  I nodded my agreement.  She was silent again for 
a few moments.  "I lost my virginity to a guy named Daryl 
Forsithe.  I was eighteen and it was near the end of my first 
semester in college.  I'd had boyfriends before, but they were 
puppy love in high school.  I'd been a bit of a prude.  He was my 
first real boyfriend."

"I felt like such a dork and I thought I was probably the last 
American virgin, or I felt like it at the time."

I chuckled.  "I wanted to loose my virginity just to say that I had.  
Stupid, huh? But I was tired of feeling out of it, un-cool, a misfit.  I 
was curious and wanted to stop reading about it and start 
experiencing it.  I wanted to do it and Daryl was certainly willing."

"I'll bet," I mumbled.

She grinned.  "Any questions about him?"

"Not really, but feel free to add any information you like. You 
never mentioned him."

She chortled for a moment and said, "He wasn't worth mentioning.  
He was gentle and tender but ..."

"But?"

"Even an egg takes three minutes."

I busted out laughing then and our chests shook with laughter and 
bounced against each other.  "Not a memorable experience, huh?"

She shook her head, "Only from the standpoint of it being 
disappointing and very quick.  Good thing I didn't take that first 
experience as the definitive experience or I wouldn't have ever 
known what all the fuss was about.  He was young and 
inexperienced like I was.  That's when I started to look at older, 
more experienced men."  She paused and said, "And just because 
I'm feeling generous, I won't count these little questions you are 
throwing in here.  I will count them as all part of Question three 
and four."

"Very generous of you," I teased.  "Go on," I encouraged, when I 
got my mirth under control.

"Number two was Dr. Christopher Fenten.  We dated in medical 
school.  He was a resident working at the hospital where I did my 
internship.  He was about ten years older than I was.  We went out 
for about six months, had lots of sex in between working and 
watched a lot of videos at home and ate a lot of pizza.  We didn't 
go out much."

"Lots of sex, huh?"  I felt an odd sensation in my gut and tamped it 
down.  That was a long time ago, Mulder, I told myself.  You had 
your own flings.

She grinned.   "It wasn't that spectacular but it was adequate.  He 
was considerate and he tried hard.  I was ... I felt very alone then, 
immersed in my schooling and internship.  I had little time to 
myself. What time I did have, I didn't want to be alone.  He filled a 
void and a need for intimacy for me for a while.  It was nice, it was 
pleasant, but it wasn't mind blowing or anything.  We parted 
friends when I ended my internship and was moving away. Then I 
hooked up with Daniel."

I nodded.  She was looking at her hand, making those swirling 
patterns on my chest again with her fingers.  I realized that this was 
an outward sign of nervousness and I took note to recognize it in 
the future. I needed to be careful not to have an outwardly negative 
reaction to what she was telling me.  She trusted me and if I 
reacted badly, then she would never tell me anything like this 
again.

I wanted to know Dana Scully, and that meant knowing about her 
past, the people in it and what had made her into the woman she 
was today.  I had to remind myself that none of this was a 
reflection on me and I didn't have to compete with it.  She said that 
she loved me and I had to believe her.  I had to take the attitude of 
'I won, they lost,' or I would go mad.

She had shared her experience with Daniel with me and I think it 
had been cathartic for her. That incidence of sharing her life with 
me, while rare, was like a jewel in my memory.  It had been a 
turning point for us. We became closer, more honest and open with 
each other after that.  I had to assume it was because I didn't have a 
negative reaction.  I didn't judge her and I didn't compete with this 
man.  I was just there for her and she had appreciated it.  Now that 
we were lovers, that shouldn't change.  But it was going to be 
harder for me now to stay objective about the events of her past.

I sighed loudly.  "O.K., I know about Waterson, you pretty much 
shared that entire story with me.  And I know about Jack Willis, 
although the details are sketchy.  I take it that wasn't a great 
relationship, at least near the end."

She nodded.  "Jack was a self-absorbed asshole."

I snorted, "I can relate to that."

She chucked me on the shoulder.  "Not even close, Mulder."

"I know I can be an obsessive idiot sometimes and very self 
serving when I want to be."

"You can also be very tender, compassionate and caring."

"You have me mixed up with someone else," I deadpanned.

She chuckled.  "No, I don't.  I don't know many other people that 
would risk life and limb to save me by traveling halfway around 
the world and nearly freezing to death in the Arctic."

"That ... was totally self serving and completely selfish," I 
commented.

She furrowed her brow and I reached up to smooth the lines 
between her eyebrows.  "How do you figure?" she asked.

"It's not your turn," I threw her own evasive words back at her.

She grinned and shook her head.

"I'll answer anyway, if you want me to."

She nodded, "Please do, I have to hear this one.  I'll bet there is 
some serious twisted logic in this explanation!"

I smiled gently and said, "Because Scully, without you ... my life 
might as well be over.  I had to find you or there was just nothing 
... nothing left to ... fight for. Nothing left to live for."

Her blue eyes swirled in the soft light and tears gathered in the 
corners.  I smiled gently at her again, swallowing around the lump 
in my throat that formed every time I thought of that time without 
her, among others.

"Oh, Mulder, ..." she whispered.

I leaned over and kissed her gently again.  "No tears, Madam.  It's 
just the simple truth."  My voice was husky with my own 
suppressed tears.

She sniffled and looked at me with such tenderness I thought my 
chest was going to burst with the swelling sensation that was 
taking place there.  She said softly, "God, Mulder, I love you so 
much."

I chuffed out a suppressed sob of joy and crushed her to me.  I 
rocked her gently for a while until we both got it back together 
enough to talk.  I cleared my throat, "O.K., onward and upward."

She finally pulled back a bit and said, "Suffice it to say, that I was 
very naïve about Jack.  I was young and wanted to impress him.  I 
did everything his way, because I thought that was how I gained 
his love and favor. That might have been true but it left him with 
no respect for me.  I swore after that I was never again going to be 
a meek, passive mate for anyone.  I wanted respect.  I needed it in 
order to be able to love anyone back.  It was my own fault.  I 
handled that relationship all wrong."

"I think it was all his fault.  He was idiot to let you go."

"He gave me the nick name, Ice Queen."

I saw the corners of her mouth turn down.  She made light of it 
sometimes, but I knew that moniker hurt her more than she was 
willing to admit.  "I can personally attest to the fact that you are a 
LOT, of things, Dana Scully, but cold and lacking passion is NOT 
one of them."

She smiled with her mouth closed, peering up at me from under 
her lashes.  "I think it was more in reference to my emotional 
coldness.  I cow towed to him for quite a while, but I became angry 
because of it.  It wasn't who I wanted to be and I became ... cold.  I 
was cold."

"I think you probably had good reason."

"Maybe, but that's when he started calling me the Ice Queen.  We 
got into a fight and he said he was afraid to touch me any more, 
because I might freeze his dick off."

I barked out a snort of laughter and quickly tamped it down as she 
gave me a dirty look.  "Oh Scully, I'm not laughing like that was a 
good joke.  I'm laughing because I know exactly how hot it is in 
that little box."

"Mulder!" she exclaimed, grinning now.

I smiled back.  "Well, Willis was an idiot and you were well rid of 
him.  I'm sorry he's dead, but ... it's awful but I can't summon a lot 
of regret or remorse.  I hate that he treated you poorly and anyone 
who hurts you is my enemy."

She smiled.  "Yo caveman, don't go swinging your dick around on 
my account," She joked.

"Scully!"  It was my turn to be shocked.

She smiled and then grew serious.  "Jack sucked in bed.  He was 
totally selfish."

I shook my head with mild amusement.  Seems his prowess in bed 
fit his personality ... overbearing and selfish.  We were silent, both 
contemplating what was said.  She had one more lover and I 
thought I knew who it was.  Despite my best efforts, my gut 
twisted at the thought of it, even if it was a crazy, one night stand.

I finally looked at her, swallowing heavily and asked the question 
that had haunted me for nearly three years now.  "Scully ... did you 
sleep with Ed Jerse?"

She looked down at her lap and when she looked back up her eyes 
were moist again.  But to my surprise she whispered, "No."

The air rushed out of my lungs and I flushed feeling foolish at the 
enormous amount of relief I was feeling.  She actually smiled 
through her tears as though amused by my reaction.  "God, Scully, 
that's tormented me for three years."

"I would have told you if you asked."

I looked at her, incredulous.  "How could I ask?  It was none of my 
business as you so blatantly pointed out at the time.  I knew I had 
no claim on you, no RIGHT to feel the way I did, but I couldn't 
help how I felt.  I was in love with you then, as I am now and I was 
sick with jealousy.  And I was ..."

"Was?" she prompted.

"How did this get turned around.  I'm supposed to be the one 
asking the questions."

She smiled gently.  And I answered her.  "I was hurt," I said, 
barely loud enough for her to hear.

I chanced a look at her and she was staring at me intently. She 
nodded, as though she understood what I was saying.  I had no 
right to feel that way, but I felt a though she had cheated on me, 
been unfaithful and it had cut me to the quick.  I was raw and 
emotional for weeks afterwards and had withdrawn from her, 
angry and resentful that someone else had been able to touch her.

She sighed loudly.  "I couldn't do it, Mulder."

I looked at her then, silently willing her to continue.  We had 
gotten off on a tangent again.  Seemed we were awful at sticking to 
the questions and matters at hand, but I needed to know this stuff if 
I was to truly have peace of mind about this relationship.  We 
could have no more secrets.  I didn't expect to get them all out in 
the open in a couple of days, but I wanted to reveal them all 
eventually, one by one.  That way maybe both of us could quit 
picking at each other's emotional scars like scabs that wouldn't 
heal.

"I wanted to," she said softly.  "God, Mulder, I wanted to. I was so 
hurt when you acted surprised that I might have a date, like the 
thought of it was ludicrous."

I nodded. "I didn't mean it that way."

"I know that now, but then ..., God, it hurt and I was angry and I 
wanted to prove you wrong.  It had been a long time since anyone 
had looked at me with desire and lust.  And frankly, I missed it."

I nodded again.  If she only knew how much I'd desired her ... and 
for how long.    "I felt that you took me for granted and I was tired 
of having no life.  And you acted like I was messing up 'your case', 
and I was I felt that you didn't trust my judgment."

"None of that is true," I mumbled, knowing that was exactly how it 
had sounded and feeling ripe with remorse.

"Like I said, I know that now.  My life was so consumed with you, 
the work, your demons, and mine.  And I wanted to forget.  For 
one night, I wanted to forget it all.  Forget you."

I felt the tears sting the backs of my eyes again and blinked rapidly 
to keep them from falling.  She was staring off into space now as 
though she was talking to herself.  I'd seen her do this a couple of 
times before. She did it when she was reliving something in her 
mind's eye.  And it was when she was the most open and honest.

I held my silence, not wanting to break this tide of admissions, 
even though it hurt to hear how much I had hurt her.  Finally she 
said, "But when it came down to the moment, the time ... decision 
time; ... I couldn't do it. I kissed him or he kissed me, I don't 
remember which.  He was warm and so ... male, and so eager for 
me."

I made a strangled sound in my throat and she smiled gently at me.  
"Don't worry, Mulder. This has a happy ending, one I think you 
will like."

"He almost killed you, Scully.  He could have killed you!"

"I know.  It was stupid to go out with him, a stranger.  It was stupid 
to stay at his apartment.  It was every bad cliché about the poor 
judgment of women.  And I didn't care about any of that.  The 
point was that I was kissing him and realized, with a sort of jolt 
that my eyes were closed and I was pretending ...."

"Pretending?" I prompted softly.

She looked at me then. "I was pretending he was ... you."

I closed my eyes and took a ragged deep breath.  Then I focused on 
her again and she finished.  "And I couldn't do it.  I slept in his 
bed."

I held my breath, conjuring visions of this psychopath wrapped 
around her under the sheets when she said, "And he slept on the 
couch."

I closed my eyes again and breathed out my relief.  She smiled 
then.  "Feels good to finally get the real story off my chest."

"I'm so ... Scully, I'm so ... relieved!  God, I know that makes me 
an asshole, but I'm so relieved!"

She hugged me then and we snuggled for several moments. How 
wonderful was it that I could cuddle with her like this. It was 
almost as good as being able to have sex with her.

Almost.

I grinned internally.  I could be such a pig sometimes. But at least I 
knew it. Then she said, "That's gotta count as another question. 
That was a lot of information I just spilled there."

I croaked out, "Deal.  But there's still someone else, isn't there?"

She nodded.  "The last one was a guy I dated just out of the 
academy, before I met Jack.  We got off on the Jack tangent and I 
skipped him.  His name was Eric Jolsen.  He was so different from 
all the others.  He was blue collar and I'd always dated white 
collar.  He was a construction worker I met at the gym."

"Scully!  Do you always pick men up in pubic places! School, 
tattoo parlors, gyms!  Geez!"

She laughed now.  "Bad habit, huh?"

"I'll say.  You never mentioned him either."

"Not worth mentioning.  We met.  We sparked.  We fucked like 
bunnies for about two months and then ..."

I groaned at her description, 'fucked like bunnies.'  She laughed at 
me again, but then became incredibly sober.  I stopped being 
jocular and waited, watching her carefully.  "Then?"

"Then I found out the asshole was engaged to be married and he 
never told me."

"Oh God, Scully."

"Yeah, huh?  Daniel, married, this guy, engaged.  I can pick them, 
huh?"

I decided silence was the better part of valor.  "So ... I told him to 
get the hell out of my life and not look back.  I had wondered why 
he never wanted to go out in public, but I was so caught up in the 
whirlwind that I didn't question it too closely.  Every time I 
suggested going out, he finagled me by saying he'd rather make 
love to me and we would go at it again.  He was a good lover, I'll 
give him that.  He was the best I'd ever had at that point, and I was 
caught up in it.  I finally knew what all the fuss was about."

I swallowed another groan.  'The best she ever had.'  Shit.

She looked at me and saw the expression of pain on my face and 
said, "Mulder, don't be an ass.  He was the best I'd ever HAD."

"Had?"

"Until you."

I looked at her, not wanting to believe it.  She was probably just 
saying it to make me feel better.  I frowned and tamped down on 
the feelings of inadequacy.  Her fingers raked through my hair and 
she pulled my face around to look at her.

In her no-nonsense voice she said, "Mulder ..."  and I knew I was 
in trouble. "Why do you think it is that I haven't been with anyone 
since I met you?"

My eyes widened and I breathed quickly through my nose, 
pressing my lips together, afraid that if I opened my mouth, a 
bunch of shit would coming flying out that I couldn't take back and 
I didn't want to do that. She shook my head gently, her hands 
cradling my jaws.  "I haven't been with anyone Mulder, because I 
fell for you and nobody compares to you.  Nobody has, and 
nobody ever will."

I took a deep breath, trying to get back on track her and quit acting 
like an insecure idiot.  "Look at me," she commanded.

I raised my eyes to her and  whispered, "I'm sorry I'm acting like 
an ass, Scully."

She shook her head with mild amusement.  "Yes, you are, now 
listen to me."

I nodded and met her gaze. "YOU are the most passionate man I've 
ever met. YOU have been the man in my fantasies since the day I 
met you."

Now I knew my eyes were wide.  "YOU are the one I have wanted 
for so long.  I imagined what a fantastic lover you would be, so 
passionate.  You can be so tender and so fierce at the same time."

I looked at her lap again.  She jerked my head up to look at her 
again.  I swallowed and she said, "And you didn't disappoint me, 
Mulder.  You are by far and away, the most fantastic lover I've 
ever had.  I never felt things like I felt last night.  I never lost 
myself in the pleasure before.  There was always a part of me that I 
kept separate, apart, and it prevented me from letting go 
completely.  I was too afraid to lose all control."

My voice was hoarse, but steady when I asked, "You lost all 
control last night?"

She nodded sharply.  "Yes, I let go of everything and let you take 
complete control and do you know why?"

I shook my head.  "Because I trust you, Mulder.  I trust you more 
than I have ever trusted anyone in my entire life.  I KNOW you 
would never hurt me intentionally. I KNOW that you will still 
respect me.  And I KNOW that you ... love me ... the real me.  You 
aren't in love with some packaged version of myself that I've 
presented to my dates in the past.  And that allowed me to let go.  
And that allowed me to experience the most mind blowing sex of 
my entire life."

She was finished with her little speech and I sat like an idiot, 
panting, dizzy and staring into her bottomless blue eyes.  She 
pulled me into her and kissed me with hunger.  I found myself 
responding on auto pilot and crushed her to me, my heart singing 
with happiness at her words.

Mindblowing.  She said the sex was mind blowing.  She let go 
completely.  She trusted me, absolutely.  It was humbling and 
exciting at the same time.  I wanted to believe her.  I wasn't sure if 
my ragged sense of self could believe entirely but oh how I wanted 
to believe her.  I decided I would believe her until she gave me a 
reason not to.  What else could I do?

I was so in love with her it was ridiculous.  We kissed for some 
time, my dick beginning to throb against her fanny.  She pulled 
away and asked, "Shall we continue or would you like to take a 
break?"

I laughed then.  "I want to take a break, but I'm going to force 
myself to continue or we may never get through this."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PART 2 (NC-17)
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
LATE MORNING

She nodded and backed away from me a bit, leaning back to rest 
her back against the side of the couch on the armrest.  She kept her 
legs draped over my lap and I laid my hands on her leg, idly 
rubbing up and down, just loving that I could touch her in any way.  
Once our breathing was back to normal she said, "Well, that was 
questions, 3, 4, and 5.  What now?

I stared at her for a moment, wondering what I most wanted to 
know.  Then I blurted out, "What did you think when  you first saw 
me?"

She grinned, "One word."

I raised my eyebrows, waiting.

She grinned wider, showing her teeth.  "Hot."

I guffawed, giddy with this new found sense of happiness. "Seven, 
when did you first think about touching me?"

"Casually, or think seriously about having something more with 
you than friendship?"

"The latter."

"When I came back after my abduction.  I was so astounded at how 
much faith you'd had in me.  I told you that I had the strength of 
your beliefs, and I meant it. I realized then that I was being sucked 
into this quest of yours and I wanted to be a part of it. I was 
helpless to fight against the pull that you seemed to have over me 
and I didn't want to fight it.  That surprised me but I also 
recognized it for what it was."

"What it was?"

"That would be question eight."

I nodded.  Softly, she said,  "I was falling in love with you, 
Mulder.  I knew it and it scared the shit out of me."

I blew air out of my pursed lips.  "You said that what I felt for you 
was unbelievable.  Well, Scully, this is all just as unbelievable to 
me.  God, we've wasted so much time being afraid."

She nodded.  "I know, but things happen when they are supposed 
to.  I think we needed to build our friendship and trust to the point 
where it is now.  If we'd acted on our feelings earlier, we probably 
would have been riddled with doubts and suspicions that would 
have torn us apart."

"That's still a danger."

She nodded. "Not so much now, though.  I think we trust each 
other enough to know that if anyone suggests to us that the other 
has been disloyal in some way, we are not quick to believe that and 
look for another reason."

I nodded. "That's true.  They've tried to split us up with trickery 
and deceit and we're still here."

She said, "Yes, and sometimes other things have intervened. 
Remember that case where they were sending those signals over 
the TV and other electrical devices.  God, I'm still embarrassed 
about that.  I totally lost it."

I remembered.  Lord did I remember.  She'd almost shot me again 
while I stood in her mother's living room.  She was paranoid and 
so freaked out.  It wasn't my Scully standing there.  I'd been 
terrified, but trying to be calm.  Thank God her mother had been 
there and I got to her in time.

"That played on the person's worst fears."

"And I thought that you had betrayed me, that you were in on the 
conspiracies and my abduction from the beginning.  It seemed so 
real then.  I remember being terrified and so devastated that you 
would betray me, the one person I had learned and grown to trust."

"It's a little humbling to me that my betrayal was your worst fear."

"Must have been, because that's what took me over.  I didn't realize 
it either, not consciously, until afterwards."

We stared at each other for several moments.  "Way back then ..." I 
muttered.

She smiled.  "Yeah, I was hooked on you way back then," she 
teased.

I snorted, finding all this hard to believe.  "Onward," I declared.

She waited patiently.  "We do have a tendency to get off on 
tangents, don't we? Where are we?"

I smiled.  "That's all right.  I like your tangents, Agent Scully and 
we are on question ten."

She nodded.  "You said that you were surprised when I told you I 
fantasized about you.  I asked if you were surprised that I 
fantasized or surprised that I would tell you.  I suppose I should get 
that one answered."

"Both.  I was stunned that you thought of me that way.  I truly did 
think that you only had feelings of friendship for me.  We were 
best friends, the closest of friends, but still, I didn't think I was 
your type.  And I was equally taken off guard that you would tell 
me.  At that point, we'd never talked so openly about our feelings 
toward one another.  You are quite intense when you want to be."

I knew what she was referring to.  I could be intense.  I had been 
accused of that before; being too intense.  It scared most women, 
but not Scully.  I also knew what she meant by my type.  She'd 
mentioned it before.  She'd made comments in the past about 
Diana, Phoebe and Bambi Barembaum.  They were all tall and 
brunette like me.  She wouldn't believe me, but it really was just a 
coincidence. I'd been attracted to Bambi, but truthfully, I couldn't 
get past her name either, and she was merely a physical thing to 
me.  She was too weird. I snorted internally, wondering that I 
could find anyone weirder than myself, but it was true.

But truly, the day Scully walked into that basement was the day 
that my type changed, if I ever really had one to begin with.  I 
wasn't exactly a ladies' man anyway.  Basically, I had been drawn 
to any woman who paid attention to me.  But once I was partnered 
with Scully, I was suddenly peering into every crowd looking for 
short red heads.  She fascinated me from the beginning and she 
burrowed into my brain, under my skin and finally into my heart 
with her compassion, understanding and strength.

I realized I'd been quiet for a while and looked at her. "I've been 
fantasizing about you nearly since we met, but it got really bad a 
few years ago and it's been bad ever since.'

"Bad?"

"Well, in the sense that it was frequent and distracting."

"Ahh," she smiled knowingly.  "I know what you mean."

We grinned at each other.  My cheeks actually hurt.  I hadn't done 
this much smiling in ages.

"Eleven, when did you KNOW that you were in love with me?"

"I don't really know.  I knew it in the back of my head for a long 
time but I tried to call it a million different things besides that."

I nodded in understanding.  "I admitted it a long time ago, 
probably about three years ago, but I was well and truly lost over 
five years ago.  It just took me forever to realize I didn't have to be 
afraid of it."

"Why didn't you do something once you weren't afraid?"

"That's twelve."  She waited to see if I would take the question 
back.  I didn't. She sighed, "I didn't think you felt the same way.  
Then my fear turned to sorrow. But I learned to live with it and 
treasure our friendship. But I couldn't help what this new 
awareness did to me."

"What did it do to you?"

"Thirteen."  She waited again.  Then said, "It made me more aware 
of you physically.  Every touch, every expression, your presence in 
a room.  I was aware of how close you stood next to me, your body 
heat when we would almost touch.  I ... was often distracted by 
your presence, by my fascination with your ... body."

"Fascination with my body?"  I paused.  "Wait, don't answer that if 
you don't want to."

She smiled.  "I'll include it.  Yes, you're a very sexy man, Mulder.  
I always thought so.  Like I said, the first thought I had was, 'Hot!' 
"She chuckled softly. "That didn't change over the years, it got 
worse.  But before I realized my emotional attachment to you, you 
were ..."

"Just another pretty face," I teased.

She laughed.  "Yeah, but more than that.  You were brilliant and 
kooky and challenging and you were my friend, Mulder.  You 
were my best friend.  You still are, Mulder."

We shared a look of mutual admiration again.  The feelings of 
tenderness I had for this woman sometimes were overwhelming.  I 
wasn't sure how I got so lucky as to have this woman walk into my 
life, but I didn't want to question it too closely.  She was 
undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to me.  She'd saved 
me from myself, as well as from others.

"Afterwards, after the realization that I wanted you, was in love 
with you ... that's when the real fantasies started."

"Tell me about one of them."

"A fantasy?"

"Yeah, that's my number fourteen."

"Oh God," she said, closing her eyes.  I turned into her, her legs 
still draped over my lap, waiting.

She peered at me through barely open eyes and the corners of her 
mouth twitched.  "Just one, any one," I said.  "It doesn't even have 
to be sexual."

"All my fantasies about you are sexual."

I gasped a little.  She grinned.  "I had, ... have everything else, your 
partnership, your friendship, your trust, your companionship if I 
wanted it.  What I didn't have was your body."  She paused.  "And 
I've wanted it for a long time."

I sucked in my breath again, not quite a gasp.  "How did I NOT 
know this?" I asked.

She smiled. "That was a question for myself," I said.

"You can be fairly oblivious, Mulder."

I looked down, embarrassed slightly, knowing that was true. When 
I got caught up in one of my obsessions, I was lost to the world 
around me.  I was getting better though.  Scully had helped me 
with that too.  She made me aware of lots things that I had 
previously ignored as unimportant.  She'd also made me miss them 
and realize what I was missing.

"Well?" I asked again.

She took a deep breath.  "Hmmm, well I have this one where I'm 
taking a bath."

I felt myself riveted already, staring at her face, my eyes darting to 
her lips.  I closed my eyes, picturing her naked in the bathtub.  She 
continued, "I'm finished washing and I'm laying back in the suds 
relaxing and you walk in on me.  Without saying a word you stand 
there and strip off your clothes, not saying anything. You aren't 
asking permission, you are just doing it."

I felt my breathing speed up already.  "What then?" I ask, my voice 
already thick with desire.

"You take me by the shoulder and guide me forward and step into 
the bathtub and sit behind me.  When you pull me back against 
your chest, you are hard and I can feel you against my rear end and 
my low back."

"Your low back?" I rasped out.  "Pictured me big, did you?"

She laughed softly now. "I KNEW you were big, Mulder."

My eyes snapped open and I looked at her.  "Elaborate."

"That will be another question."  I nodded.  "I've seen it. I've seen 
you, ... naked, I've seen you ... erect."

"When?!"  I cringed as voice cracked.

She grinned. "A couple of times.  Once was when I was taking care 
of you after I shot  you. I knocked you out with sedatives and took 
you out to New Mexico to hide you."

"I remember."

"You were unconscious and hadn't woke up yet.  I decided you 
were getting a little ripe so I gave you a sponge bath."

My eyes widened.  "Damn, and I missed it!"

She laughed.  She closed her eyes and hummed, "A when I washed 
your stomach ... you got ... an erection."

I remained silent, fascinated to watch her face as she told this little 
secret.   Her eyes remained closed and her hand came to rest on her 
stomach, the other pillowing her head where it rested against the 
armrest of the couch.

"Hmmm, yeah, I remember being startled when I felt the sheet 
move.  I'd left it over you from the waist down.  I looked down and 
almost fainted.  Christ Mulder, you were pitching a tent like there 
was no tomorrow."

I laughed now, embarrassed.  She smiled, keeping her eyes closed.  
"I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't resist."

"What?"

"I had to see.  I pulled the sheet off you and ..."

"And?"

"And lifted the elastic  on your boxers," she admitted sheepishly, 
flushing red up her neck and over her face.

I sat mute, my mouth hanging open.  I finally cleared my throat.  
"Did you like what you saw, Agent Scully?"

She made a strangled sound in the back of her throat, her hand 
fisted into her bathrobe and she ... no shit, her whole body 
shuddered. She muttered, "Jesus Christ!"

I was panting quite heavily at this point.  She peeked her eyes open 
and looked at me.  Her voice was low and incredibly sexy when 
she said, "Mulder, one look and I ..."

I watched her silently pleading with her to spit it out. "I ... God, 
this is so embarrassing."  Her head tilted back and she closed her 
eyes again.  "I hadn't thought about this in a long time."

"Scully?"

She took a deep breath.  "My whole body reacted, Mulder.  I ... 
flooded myself.  I was so ... wet and swollen ... so suddenly, it 
made me dizzy.  Goohhoood, I can still remember that my nipples 
were so hard, they ached."

I groaned now, my cock throbbing urgently inside my sweat pants.  
I was pitching that tent she talked about earlier.  She opened her 
eyes, her lids heavy, her pupils dilated with arousal and licked her 
lips.  "Christ, Scully!"

She looked down embarrassed.  "So there you have it, Mulder.  
You aren't the only one that gets excited at inappropriate moments.  
Here you are unconscious, drugged, and I'm fearing for your life 
and I'm sneaking a look at your goods.  How sick is that?"

I burst out laughing.  I couldn't help the little hysterical bubble of 
astonishment that swelled up in my chest and burst out of my 
mouth.  I was laughing hard, belly laughing like I hadn't laughed in 
ages.  She began giggling in response to my hysteria, watching the 
tears run down my face.  I sucked in noisy breaths trying to get 
myself under control and croaked out, "Scully, you can ... look at 
my ... goods ... any ... time."

We both dissolved in laughter again.  I panted as my mirth died 
and looked over at her to see her staring at my crotch.  I looked 
down quickly,  realizing that my laughter hadn't effected my hard 
on in the least.  I looked at her again.  "Want to see the goods 
again, Agent Scully?"  I couldn't resist, teasing her, and I nearly 
choked trying to swallow another bubble of laughter.

She pursed her lips and shook her head vigorously as though trying 
to shake something off.  "Later, Mulder, I didn't finish my 
fantasy."

"Oh yeah," I replied airily and she laughed again.

At long last, she settled back again and continued her story.

"So where were we.  We were in the bathtub.  I can feel you 
against me.  Oh yeah, and you start playing with my breasts, 
squeezing them and pinching my nipples lightly with your 
fingers."

My mirth was dead now and I sat captivated with the telling of her 
fantasy.  "I would play with one tit, and put my other hand down 
between legs, and pretend it was you touching me, you sliding 
your fingers inside me and pumping away."

"God, Scully, are you trying to kill me?"

She smiled and locked her gaze with mine.  "And then I would 
imagine  you lifting my hips and sitting me down on your cock, 
sliding into me and filling me so full. God, I knew it would feel 
fantastic."

I moaned lightly, panting, putting a hand over my cock and 
pressing it to my stomach to try and relieve some of the pressure.

She was still talking and I made a huge effort to concentrate of her 
words.  I couldn't keep looking at her.

"I would frig my clit fast and hard until I made myself come, 
imagining you sliding in and out of me."

I couldn't stand it anymore and I grasped myself through my 
sweats, squeezing hard and groaning.  I glanced at her and her 
hand was inside her robe, cupping her own breast and I felt my 
heart skip a beat suddenly and then resume it's frantic pace.

"Scully," I whispered her name.

She almost gave me a heart attack when she said, "I'm so wet, 
Mulder, Jesus!"

I said, "Keep this up, Scully and we'll never make it through these 
questions."

She grinned.  "Anticipation is a good thing, Mulder."

"To a point, Scully," I ground out.  "I don't know if I can ..."

She was on her knees on all fours between my legs, and pulling my 
sweats down so quickly that I yelped in surprise.  I had no 
underwear on and she grasped my now throbbing cock in her little 
hand pumped it hard a couple of times making me groan and throw 
my head back.  She stood up and ripped her robe off her shoulders.  
It cascaded to the ground and she climbed onto the sofa on all 
fours, her face towards the armrest, her beautiful ass stuck out 
towards me in invitation.

"Oh, Christ," I muttered as she watched me over her shoulder.  I 
scrambled up behind her and wiped the side of my hand over her 
slick seam between her legs, feeling my cock twitch at the wet heat 
it found there that was now drowning my fingers and running 
down the inside of her legs.

"Oh God, Scully," I exclaimed.

She panted.  "I know.  Feel what you do to me, Mr. Insecure?  By 
the way, this is another fantasy."

"What?" I asked as I rubbed the engorged head of cock into her 
wetness making her gasp.

"You taking me from behind."

All I could do is let out a long, slow groan as I slipped inside and 
buried myself to the hilt.  I held her hips still as I ground myself 
into her boiling core, almost wincing at the heat I encountered.  I 
pressed in, swiveling my hips and feeling my balls mashed against 
her pubic bone.  She groaned and I felt the entrance to her womb 
throb, tighten on the head of my cock and then relax, allowing my 
aching flesh to slip just a fraction deeper, seating itself firmly.

She flexed her muscles and I jerked my hips, crying out, "Oh, 
Fuck!"

She rocked forward and backed up onto me.  I took the hint and 
gritted my teeth as I began to ride her slow and steady.  Almost 
immediately, I couldn't take the slow pace.  I wanted to savor the 
rapture of being buried inside so deeply, but primal instinct and an 
increasing need for release were taking over and in no time I was 
riding her hard, pulling almost all the way out and slamming back 
inside, pulling her hips back into me harshly with every thrust. 
There was little finesse, but she didn't seem to mind.  Not at all in 
fact.  I couldn't believe she could possibly be as excited by me as I 
was by her, but evidently, she was telling the truth.

She was grunting and crying out and making sounds of complete 
and utter abandon that was making my heart race even faster than 
it was before.

"Muullddeerr!  Oh God, yes!  Yes! Yes!"

"Like it ... hard, Scully?"

"YES!" she shrieked.

I pounded into her as she started to groan continuously. One hand 
gripped the side of the couch, her forehead resting there to absorb 
the impact of my wild thrusts.  The other hand dropped between 
her legs and began pushing her clit against our joining.  I could feel 
the tips of her fingers sliding  over my balls with every thrust and it 
was just one more sensation that drove me to the brink.

I was riding that ragged cliff edge of control when she shouted, 
"Ooohhhh, Fffuuuccckkk M E!"

Two more slamming thrusts and her tight, warm walls began 
gripping my rock hard cock.  She wailed, "Sooo gooood!  Ohhh, 
ffuu ... huuu, huuu, cccckkkk!"

Hearing her say the word fuck would normally startle me. Hearing 
her shout it as she rode out her orgasm was too much.  I felt my 
balls coil and heave and I began to shudder uncontrollably as I 
emptied into her.  My dick was on fire as I buried myself deep with 
each shuddering thrust and felt my sperm exploding into her still 
quivering heat.  It was my turn to shout, "Scully!  Oh shit, oh yeah, 
oh Christ, Oh damn, ohhhhh, so gooood."

I collapsed over her bed and we slowly lowered ourselves to the 
cushions.  Her legs pressed together and I straddled them with 
mine, grinding my softening penis into her, reluctant to leave this 
haven of unbelievable pleasure.  My head rested between her 
shoulder blades.

She panted gently beneath me and I struggled to pull my arms up 
from her hips and put my weight on my elbows.  She moaned 
lightly and whispered, "Mulder, that was incredible."

I kissed the back of her neck and delighted in the shiver that 
coursed through her torso.  She wasn't finished.  "You take me 
places I've never been before.  Don't ever doubt that your every 
fantasy of mine come true. Damn, I came so hard, I thought I was 
going to pass out."

I chuffed a breath onto her shoulder and licked her skin, tasting her 
salty sweat. She shivered again.  "I love you, Scully."

"I love you too, Mulder."

"Shall we clean up?" I asked.

She nodded and I backed slowly out of her tunnel.  She sighed as 
though disappointed.  I couldn't have agreed more.  We got up 
silently and made our way to the bathroom.  I retrieved a couple of 
towels from the linen closet and she adjusted the water.

Without another word, we climbed into the shower and soaped 
each other thoroughly, paying special attention to all the erogenous 
zones.  Before we were done we were both excited again, but 
tamped it down and got out to dry off.  We made more tea and 
made our way back to the couch.  She had retrieved her robe and 
found one for me.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PART 3 (NC-17)
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
NOON TIME

We settled back into the sofa and sighed simultaneously, smiling 
wide at each other in sated contentment.

"Where were we?" I asked, eager to take up the game again.

"Well, I'm not sure, the fantasy request was fourteen, but then there 
was the 'sneaking a peek story'.  That information ought to count 
for something," she teased.

"Trying to hedge your bets, Scully?"

She rolled her eyes.

I chuckled.  "O.K., since it was so informative, and led to such 
good things, I'll count the story of checking out my goods as 
number fifteen. That means I still have five left."

"O.K., let's get it over with."

"Such enthusiasm," I deadpanned.

She grinned.  I was silent trying to think of how I wanted to ask the 
next question. There were still some things I wanted to know.  
Important things but I was hesitant to kill the mood of light revelry 
and contentment that was surrounding us all day.  But the next 
question would do exactly that.  I considered how badly I wanted 
to know and decided that it was going to bother me if I didn't ask 
and I might not have another opportunity for a long time.

Carefully I said, "I need to know something, Scully."

She immediately picked up on the change of tone in my voice and 
asked, "What?"

"I need to ask you an uncomfortable question.  I've debated 
whether to ask you, but it's something that could come between us 
later and I don't want that to happen.  It's important to me that we 
don't have any more secrets and that we don't have any 
misunderstandings about the past, or the people in it.  I need this 
resolved once and for all."

"Uh, oh," she said, without fear.  It sounded more like resignation.

"I'm not sure how to ask this," I admitted.

She looked at me silently for a few moments and then said, "Just 
ask.  I won't take points off for lack of tact."

I flashed a smile at her.  "O.K., here goes."  I cleared my throat.

"It's really two questions, but it's all tied together."

"O.K."  She sounded more wary now.

"Were you ... jealous of Diana?"  I heard a tiny gasp and didn't 
dare look at her.  I plunged ahead.  "And if you were, was that why 
you hated her so much?"

I heard a loud sigh and sneaked a look at her out of the corner of 
my eye.  She was looking intently into her lap.  Her lips were 
pressed tightly together and her forehead was scrunched up into an 
expression of pain.

"Scully, I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have asked."

"No, Mulder. It's all right.  You have a right to know."

"Maybe, maybe not, but I need to know."

She nodded. "Well, at first, I wasn't jealous, I was just ... disturbed 
for no apparent reason.  I couldn't confront you with my ... 
suspicions because they weren't based on fact, they were merely 
conjecture. Feelings ...I couldn't explain them to myself, but I felt 
something was ... wrong about her."

I bit my lip, wondering what she was going to say and knowing I 
had to stay silent and let her get it out.  "I knew she was a believer 
like you ... or at least she claimed to be.  I wasn't really sure.  I 
thought that she might be pretending to believe, just to get back ... 
into your life."

"Don't ask me how I knew, Mulder.  But I sensed that she was ... 
phony somehow.  And it worried me because I could see that you 
didn't feel that way and you wouldn't feel that way.  You wouldn't 
suspect her because you thought you knew her.  When I went to 
the Gunmen with my suspicions and asked them to check her out 
... I knew you would be upset."

"But it was then, when Frohike said, ... 'she was Mulder's 
chickadee' ... "  She stopped and swallowed.  "I was blown away.  
You hadn't ever mentioned that you'd been involved or that she'd 
been your partner before me."

She took a deep breath.  "I was shocked, and hurt that you hadn't 
bothered to tell me.  That's when ... that's when I felt the first stab 
of jealousy."

"You two shared something that you didn't choose to make me 
privy too and I was so ... hurt by that.  More than the fact that she 
was your ... girlfriend, ex- girlfriend, whatever ... was the fact that 
you didn't TELL ME.  I wouldn't have liked it but I could have 
dealt with the knowledge if you'd told me.  Instead it was like you 
were trying to hide it from me and I had to wonder why."

I felt a crushing guilt hit me square in the chest and folded into 
myself like I'd been struck a physical blow.  I leaned forward, 
wrapping my arms around my waist, knowing that she was right.  
I'd been so shocked to see her again.  She had left abruptly and 
we'd left so many things just hanging.  Then she was suddenly 
there, supporting me it seemed and I couldn't think about anything 
else.

I should have trusted Scully with that information.  It was wrong of 
me to keep it from her and it was horrible that she found out from 
the Gunmen.  And Frohike, with his usual penchant for tact, had 
called her a pet name, my chickadee. Shit.

She took another deep breath and continued.  "The second stab of 
jealousy came when I went to meet you and accidentally came 
upon you talking to her.  I ... watched for a second through the 
window in the door, not sure whether to interrupt or not.  Then I 
saw her take your hands and hold them."

She sucked in a quick breath, almost a sob.  "You didn't resist, 
Mulder.  You didn't pull away and you ... looked so intimate with 
her ... and I ... I was ..."

I heard her swallow harshly.  "I was crushed."

She was silent again as though gathering her thoughts.  I didn't 
dare interrupt. Finally she resumed talking, her voice choked with 
tears she was trying to suppress.  "But did I hate her?  No, not then.  
I was jealous, I was hurt, I was ... devastated and fearful that she 
was taking my place in your life and ... I didn't want that to 
happen.  I'd grown so dependent on our ... friendship and I was 
terrified of losing it.  When I confronted you with what I'd found 
and you had such a violent reaction to it, defending her without 
even thinking about what I was trying to tell you ... well, I thought 
all was lost then."

I sighed and mumbled, "I'm so sorry, Scully."

She nodded, her face scrunching up like she was going to cry, but 
she got it under control and continued.  "Later, I did come to hate 
her.  I hated her for playing you for a fool.  I hated her for using 
her past relationship with you to manipulate you and me.  I hated 
her for ... having your attention.  But all that was secondary.  I 
really hated her because I truly believed she was on the other side 
and she was going to hurt you.  I knew she was going to double 
cross us.  I knew she was going to hurt you badly and mostly, I 
hated myself."

"Yourself?  Why, Scully?"

"Because there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Because I 
was in love with you and I was too much of a chicken, too afraid to 
tell you.  I hated that I was so scared."

"Oh, Scully."  I reached out and pulled her into my lap. She 
straddled my thighs and hugged me back.  "I'm so sorry," I 
murmured again, brushing my lips over her neck.

She hugged me tighter.  "And you were right, Scully.  For 
whatever reason, she was working for the other side but I think she 
really thought she was doing the right thing."

She sniffled.  "I have to concede that she redeemed herself in the 
end.  If not for her, I wouldn't have found you and God knows 
what they would have done to you.  I don't know if you would 
have survived any more experiments."

"Yes, I guess she deserves my gratitude for that, but ... the fact is, 
it took her realizing her employers were wrong and manipulators 
of the highest level to get her to do the right thing.  It took guilt 
and fear to make her decide that I was worth saving."

"No, I think she truly cared for you.  I just think she was in so deep 
by that point, she didn't know how to get out."

"She didn't."

Scully was silent for another minute or so and then said, "No, she 
didn't.  I'm sorry I hated her, Mulder.  I handled that whole thing 
really badly.  I shouldn't have thrown accusations in your face like 
it was your fault she was lying to you.  I should have told you how 
hurt I was.  I should have told you that I loved you and that my 
behavior was because I was afraid for you, for us; our partnership, 
our friendship, everything."

"Ahh, Scully, we've both made so many mistakes."

She nodded against my shoulder.  "And I meant it when I told you 
that I was sorry.  I know that regardless of what she did,  you two 
were ... "

"Friends," I said.

"Yes, friends and more at one time and you ... didn't want to 
believe that she would hurt you."

"No, I didn't.  I was stubborn and refused to see what was right in 
front of my eyes.  I mourned her when she died, but ..."

"But what?"

"I need for you to know that I didn't ..."

"Didn't what?" she prompted.

"I didn't get involved with her again."

She snorted.

I smiled ironically.  "O.K., I got involved with her again, but what 
I mean is ..."

She cut me off.  "I know what you mean."

"Do you?  I didn't sleep with her, Scully.  I didn't get involved 
romantically.   I never even came close.  She offered, but I refused 
to rekindle that.  I was in love with you by the time she showed up.  
I didn't feel ... that way about her anymore, if I ever did.  But we 
had been friends and I ... felt I owed her the benefit of the doubt."

"I know."

"We were never best friends or as close, mentally, or in any other 
way as you and I are."

"In retrospect, I knew that you had to give her some concessions 
because of your past history."

"Well, I wanted to keep the friendship, but I didn't want ... the rest.  
She did want the rest and it quickly became apparent that working 
with her wasn't going to work out. She was jealous of you.  I know 
that for a fact.  Me and my brilliant judgment.  The benefit of the 
doubt almost got me killed."

"We all make mistakes, Mulder."

"Mine are whoppers."

She chuffed against me.  "Mine too, Jerse wasn't one of my more 
spectacular displays of good judgment."

We hugged each other tight then, a new understanding blooming 
between us. Whatever we had done in the past, it was now well 
and truly in the past and we didn't need to dwell on it anymore.  
We didn't need to let these old ghosts wedge between us anymore.  
I wished we'd talked like this long ago, but she was probably right.  
It wouldn't have been this good then.  We wouldn't have been able 
to talk like this years ago.

Now though, too much had happened and we both now realized 
that life was too short to spend it dwelling on the past and the 
mistakes in it.  As if she'd read my mind, she said, "Time to go 
forward, Mulder and not look back.  We've always had each other, 
no matter what, even when it didn't seem that way sometimes. But 
now, it's even more true.  We were meant to be together, I think."

I kissed her ear softly.  "No more regrets, Scully.  Let's start with a 
clean slate, O.K.?"

"Deal."

"And we'll talk more."

"O.K."

"And we won't let things fester.  If you need to know something, 
ask me before your mind runs away with it, assuming the worst."

"Only if you promise to do the same."

"Deal."

"And Mulder, even if we don't know how we feel or are confused, 
let's vow to let each other know that too.  At least if we know 
where we stand on any issue, we can better deal with it.  You and I 
communicate silently a lot.   And that's wonderful in the field.  But 
at home and in our bed, we need to talk more.  We've done way to 
much assuming and guessing over the years."

"You're right."

She snuggled into my chest and kissed my neck.  I hummed, loving 
the tingles that it created in my neck.  "So was that one question or 
two?" she asked.

I grinned.  "I'll count it as two.  You were jealous and you hated 
her, but not because you were jealous, but because you were afraid 
she would hurt me, or us as partners."  It was a statement, not a 
question.

She nodded in the affirmative and we hugged again.  "I don't think 
I could work with anyone else now, Mulder."  I squeezed her tight 
in response.

"O.K., question eighteen."

She made a sound of agreement.

"What's your favorite sexual position?" I blurted out, then felt 
stupid.  But I wanted to erase the morose mood of the last few 
minutes.

She lifted off my chest and leaned back to look at me. "Hmm, 
that's tough, I have a few favorites."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is."

"You seemed to enjoy ..." I indicated the couch with my hand.  She 
actually blushed.  Her eyes darted away but then came back to rest 
on my face.

"Well, I guess I would have to say that while I like the missionary 
position for several reasons, one being that I feel surrounded and 
safe with you, it's not the best for stimulation.  Although last night, 
my head more than made up for that."

I nodded, waiting with more eagerness than I thought possible.  
Sexual Scully was an exciting creature.  I never imagined that I 
would be discussing this with her.  It was all a bit surreal.  "So..."

"However, I do like the missionary position if ..."

She looked shy suddenly and looked down at me chest.

"Look at me, Scully."

She did, tentatively.  "Tell me," I said.

"If my legs are ... up ..."

"Up?  Straight up?"

She shook her head.  "No, up ... way up ...."

I grinned, now getting the picture.

"You want your legs up over my shoulders," I stated, sounding a 
little smug, even to myself.

She nodded quickly and then buried her face in the crook between 
my neck and shoulder.  I hugged her tight and chuckled at her shy 
reaction.  Why was she suddenly embarrassed and shy.  After all, 
we just fucked each other silly on her couch about an hour ago.

She was certainly a mystery, an enigma of the first degree. She 
called me mercurial, but I'll be damned if I could ever figure her 
and her moods out either.  I found her shyness endearing and an 
incredible turn on.

"Have you fantasized about us in that position?" I asked quietly.

She nodded against my shoulder and buried her face again. I felt a 
sweeping feeling of tenderness and love for this woman in my 
arms.

I felt my groin stir, but I was a little sore from all the previous 
activity.  Little Mulder hadn't seen this much action in years, now, 
twice in less than twenty four hours.  Unbelievable.

I  was now 2:00 PM and neither of us had eaten lunch.  We got 
dressed and went to the diner down the street and feasted on greasy 
hamburgers.  We fed each other French fries and grinned like two 
love sick school kids.

I was giddy with a sense of happiness.  I didn't remember the last 
time I'd felt this way.  I was certain I'd never felt this way with a 
woman. It was all new and exciting.  We left there and went for a 
walk in the park, holding hands.

That simple gesture of companionship filled me with a sense of 
wonder.  Just holding her hand.  But it was more than that.  We 
were in public and she wasn't hiding our relationship.  It was a way 
to announce to the world that we were together; together as a 
couple.  I couldn't wipe the grin off my face.

We left there and went shopping for dinner, picking out a couple of 
lean steaks and getting the fixings for salad.  I was struck again 
with the simple joy of doing something so mundane with her.  
Shopping together was a very domestic thing to do.  It screamed, 
'COUPLE'.  I liked it.  I more than liked it.  I was floating on a 
pink cloud.

We made our way home and fixed dinner.  It was leisurely and we 
sipped wine. She talked about her family and we decided to tell her 
mother about us right away.  I was hesitant but she assured me that 
Maggie was fond of me and would probably be delighted.  I knew 
Bill Jr. would probably have a coronary, but frankly, I didn't give a 
damn.

We had one more day before we had to go back to work and I 
wanted to make the most of it.  We went back out and stocked up 
on food for tomorrow.  We planned on being hermits for one more 
day.  We went to my place and I grabbed a change of clothes and 
nearly split my face open with my smile when she told me to get a 
suit for work on Monday.

I had been a little afraid that she would boot me out when we had 
to go to work the next day, but it appeared she didn't plan on it.

We made our way back to her place, sated and happy, languid but 
not really tired.  We stretched out on the couch and she surprised 
me when she jumped up and popped a tape into the VCR.  It was 
an episode of the "Red Shoe Diaries'.  I was a bit shocked, but I 
teased her unmercifully until she threatened to turn it off.

Then we settled in to watch.  By the end of it, she had sprawled 
next to me and had her hand down my pants, tormenting my rigid 
cock and balls with her teasing fingers.  I flicked it off with the 
remote and stood up, scooping her up in my arms and carting her 
off to the bedroom like a caveman.  She didn't seem to mind.

XXXXXXXXXX

If someone asked me, I don't think that I could adequately describe 
what I'm feeling right now.  I am so happy I feel like I'm going to 
bust.

Mulder has been, dare I say it ... the perfect boyfriend today.  
There I said it. Mulder is my boyfriend.  Not just my lover.  My 
boyfriend. I was afraid he wouldn't want to go places and do things 
like normal people.  I don't know why I thought that, but I did.

He continues to surprise me.  He enthusiastically went along with 
every suggestion I had today, from strolling in the park to grocery 
shopping.  He never seemed irritated or exasperated like I thought 
he might. He went along and I don't think he just went along to get 
along.  He seemed to genuinely enjoy himself.  I was such a relief 
to be able to just be normal for a day.  No case, no bosses, no 
family, just US.

But now  he was stripping my clothes off with a single minded zeal 
that left me quivering with anticipation.  When I was naked, he 
said, "Get in the bed."

His voice was low and husky, slow with desire and I shivered, 
doing as he asked, marveling at the same time that I wasn't balking 
at his near command.  He looked at me for a few seconds and then 
slowly began to remove his clothes.  While he'd ripped mine off, 
he was taking his time with his.  I found this incredibly erotic. I 
watched, letting my eyes savor every inch of flesh revealed.  When 
he was finally naked, I stared shamelessly at him and whispered, 
"God, Mulder, what you do to me."

Without even realizing it, I had jammed my hand between my legs 
and was swirling a finger in my twat.  He groaned and stalked over 
to me, grabbing my hand away and pinning it to the bed.  He did 
the same with the other hand.  He looked at me, on all fours and 
then stared at my crotch.  I felt my wet lips swell even further and 
a gush of warmth coat my entrance as his face crumpled into an 
expression of unbelievable lust as he inhaled my scent. That should 
have been disgusting.  Instead, it made me whimper and whisper, 
"Mulder, please."

He lowered his head and began assaulting my soaking crotch with 
his agile tongue and lips.  He pushed that long tongue into me and 
I shouted, bucking against his face.  He captured first one labia and 
then the other, sucking my wetness into his mouth and humming 
against my entrance.  I was lost, moving my pelvis in a wanton 
display, pushing into his face to increase the contact.  He began 
swirling his tongue around my clit until I was sobbing with the 
sensations flooding my body.

Then he sucked my clit into his mouth, trapping it between his lips 
and licked it roughly with his tongue.  I screamed, "Aaaaaahhhhhh, 
Muullddeerr!" as my peak hit and I felt my nipples pinch up into 
hard pebbles.  He sucked gently as I subsided.

Then he stuck two fingers inside and roughly swirled them on the 
front wall of my vagina.  He sucked hard on my clit and then 
dragged his tongue over me again and I shouted in surprise as 
another  set of clenching orgasmic waves coursed through me.

He licked me again and I hissed, whimpering, "Too much."

He lifted his head and mumbled, "Sorry."

"Don't be, that was... God that was wonderful."

He smiled and moved up, kneeling between my wide spread legs, 
as my feet rested on the bed.  I felt suddenly exposed and silly.  I 
went to close my legs and he placed his hands firmly on my knee 
caps, stopping my attempt.

He smiled a slow, lazy, predatory smile.  I looked down to see him, 
thick and heavy, bobbing gently between my legs.  I made to reach 
for him but he stopped me again, placing my hands next to my 
head on the pillow. He sat back up and slowly lifted one leg, up ... 
up, grinning at me.

I sucked in my breath, realizing he was going to act on my 
admission of my favorite position.  I began panting immediately, 
feeling myself get excited all over again.  Christ, I'd just come 
twice from that wonderful mouth on me and it was starting all over 
again.  Our height difference made this slightly different from the 
one other time I'd done it, and dreamed of doing it again since 
then.

There was no way my calves would reach high enough to lay on 
his shoulders.  Our height difference was too great. But that was all 
right.  I was so excited just at the thought that he wanted to do this, 
just because I wanted it or had imagined it.  I had a feeling the 
reality was going to far exceed the fantasy.

My heel rested on his shoulder, the side of my foot grazing his 
neck.  He repeated the process with the other leg and looked down 
at me, saying, "Scully, you are so incredibly beautiful."

He slid a pillow under my hips and hooked his arms around my 
legs.  He looked down and we both watched as he poked at my 
entrance, teasing.  I whimpered, "Mulder, quit teasing."

He chuckled, pulled his hips back and thrust forward harshly, 
burying himself almost completely.  I shouted and threw my head 
back with the sudden pain/ pleasure of his sudden penetration.   I 
took a deep breath and willed myself to relax.  He was holding still 
and I opened my eyes.  He was watching me carefully.  "O.K.?" he 
asked.

I nodded. So slowly, I thought I would go insane with anticipation, 
he leaned forward over me, bending my legs up, not at the knee, 
but at the hip.  I curled my feet in and pressed the top of my toes to 
the back of his neck.  I could barely reach and we were both 
breathing hard. He adjusted one leg, bringing my legs as close 
together as possible, then slipped his hands, palm up, under my 
shoulder blades.

My eyes widened as I realized what he was doing.  His hands 
cupped over the top of my shoulders, his knees drew up slightly on 
the bed as he spread his legs wide and thrust fully inside me.

He shouted, "Ohhhh, awww, fuck, you're soooo tiny."

Under normal circumstances, this comment might irritate me, but 
right now, it was a compliment and I knew that's the way he meant 
it.  I groaned as I felt the last of him press deeply inside.  With my 
pelvis tipped up this way and his downward strokes, which he 
began slowly, he was pressing his rigid cock over my G-spot with 
every stroke.

His strokes lengthened until he was nearly pulling out and then 
slipping back inside with smooth, long, deep strokes.  I 
degenerated into constant moaning as the sustained stimulation had 
me climbing quickly to my peak.  My hands were on his shoulders 
and he panted out, "Touch your breasts, Scully."

I whimpered and cupped my breasts, lifting them up and held them 
so that my hard nubs were jutting in the air and his chest rubbed 
across them with every thrust as his torso moved over mine.  I 
began to whimper in earnest at this added stimulation and he 
groaned.  "Ohhhhh, you feel so good, Scully.  So fucking good.  
Awwww, shit.  Never been this good."

I moaned in response and blurted out, "Right there, that's the spot.  
Oh, Mulder, you feel so hard, so big."

He grunted and began swiveling his hips as he backed out and then 
snapping them sharply as he drove himself back inside. I screamed 
low and loud as he increased his pace.  Sweat slicked our bodies 
now and he leaned into kiss me, never losing his rhythm.  I 
couldn't help in this position. I couldn't thrust against him. I  was 
completely and utterly helpless.  I should have been frightened.  
With anyone else, I would have been.  But this was Mulder.

Oh Jesus, this was Mulder doing this to me!  This was Mulder 
causing this crashing waves of cringing sensation to wash through 
my body as he towered over me, around me, and inside me, 
completely possessing me.

I let myself go finally, let go of the last shred of attention and 
control and sank into the sensations, moaning and whimpering like 
a women possessed as he continued his assault, never seeming to 
tire.

His nose buried itself in my neck and he crashed into me over and 
over again, murmuring, "Oh so good, Scully.  I love this, I knew 
this would be so good.  Oh God, I'm so haarrdd!"  He grunted. I 
moaned.

"Damn Scully," he panted.  "My cock is ... so hard ... it ... 
ACHES!"

I could feel it.  He seemed to get even bigger inside me and my 
walls cringed, clinging to the source of this enormous pressure and 
pleasure. I clenched my inner muscles as tight as I could and he 
shouted, losing all finesse and slamming into me like a jack 
hammer, pulling down on my shoulders for leverage with every 
heaving thrust of his body.  I was bouncing from the impact.

I watched his face contort into a grimace of ecstasy.  He was 
utterly beautiful as he threw his entire body into thrusting into me 
as though he wanted to crawl completely inside.

He bounced and pulled his knees up higher again and slammed 
into me.  I raised my hands and pressed them against the 
headboard for support and to keep from sliding.

My chest thrust into the air with this move and he bent down 
awkwardly and took my nipple into his mouth, latching on and 
sucking so hard, I thought it was going to explode.

I shrieked as my orgasm took me over, my head spinning with the 
dizzying pleasure.  He didn't slow his assault.  But he released my 
nipple, the angle being too difficult.  His knees up higher changed 
the angle slightly. My ass was almost resting on my spread thighs.

He was sweating profusely now, but I could tell he had lost control 
and couldn't stop or slow down.  He was chanting my name and 
groaning. "Scully, Scully, my Scully, Oh God, Scully."

I cringed as I felt this new angle cause his cock to batter my cervix.  
He was so hard, with nearly no give and it actually hurt a tiny bit 
each time he plowed into the entrance to my womb.

I was lost as I concentrated on the sensation of his iron hard cock 
slamming into me, pushing my long unused muscles apart and 
stretching them to the limit. They burned with the stretch and I 
cringed with the slight pain of his cock pressing up into my uterus.  
Almost with alarm, I realized the slight cringing pain was pushing 
me to the edge again.  That had never happened before.  I was 
going to be so sore tomorrow.  But right now, I couldn't bring 
myself to care.

He shouted, "Oh, so close, Scully.  Oh fuck, I can't believe, ... how 
hard, ... how good ... oh shhhiiiittt. Oh God, here it comes.  Can't 
hold back!  Oh goooodddd, yes, Scully, yes, yes, yes, 
YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSS!"

He screamed, a harsh, ragged, low, man scream.  I watched dazed 
as his face contorted again and he slammed into me through his 
release continuing to batter my womb.  Oh God, he couldn't stop.

With surprise, I felt myself peak again, the release quick and 
intense.  He slowed, shuddering and still thrusting into me as 
though he didn't know it was over and couldn't stop.  A few more 
slow thrusts and he finally stopped, his entire body shuddering 
from head to toe.

He let my legs down slowly and I groaned as the muscles in my 
hips protested. He raised up on one arm, reaching down to gently 
massage one hip.  I moaned again as he continued for a minute, 
then switched to the other side, still embedded inside me.

I could feel his cock pulsing, still semi-erect inside me. Our eyes 
finally met and his were filled with what can only be ... awe.  I felt 
my chest constrict at the look of pure love and amazement on his 
face.  He whispered, "My God, Scully, if it gets any better than 
that, it will probably kill me."

I laughed then and he smiled at me.  He pulled out about an inch 
and we both hissed at the sensation.  He muttered, "We are going 
to be sore."

"No kidding."

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No," I answered automatically.  "I'm just not used to it. It's been a 
long time.  I'll adjust."  He had hurt me a little, but it was good 
hurt.  He wouldn't understand that. He was still too insecure.  I 
would eventually stretch to accommodate his rather large girth and 
above average length, more comfortably if we kept going at it like 
this. And I sincerely hoped that we would.

Maybe he would understand, but this early on, I didn't want to risk 
it.  I didn't want him to hold back, or be afraid of hurting me.  I 
wanted to see his passion for me.  It was a thrill like no other to see 
his arousal, his unrestrained pleasure and know that I was the 
cause.  This incredibly passionate, sexy man was in love with me 
and my heart sang when I felt the immediacy of his passion, 
watched him respond to me, overcome with the pleasure.  I loved 
that he would be so overcome that he would lose control.

He said, "That may become my favorite position too."

I chuckled.  "Pretty good, huh?"

"Pretty good?  Fucking unbelievable."  He paused.  "Ooops, sorry, 
I've used that word a lot, haven't I?"

I smiled.  "It's O.K., I don't have virgin ears."

"Yeah, but ..."

"Don't worry about it, Mulder.  I love to see you lose control.  It 
excites me. Christ, I've had four orgasms in the last hour and a 
half. If you used it every other word in normal conversation, that 
would bother me. But when it's the heat of the moment and ... what 
we happen to be doing at the time, I don't mind it.  I'm sure I said a 
few choice words a couple of times myself."

He grinned.  "Mmmm, you have no idea how stunningly gorgeous 
you are when you come, Scully."

I felt the heat rise up my neck.  The man had once again, 'fucked 
my brains out' and yet, I was overcome by a simple compliment.

"Thank you," I nearly whispered.  "You're not so bad yourself."

He smiled softly and leaned over to kiss me.  "I love you, Scully," 
he said against my lips and kissed me again before I could respond. 
When he pulled away he said, "No matter how wild it is, or gets 
between us, Scully, remember that I am never really fucking you.  
I'm always making love to you."

I grinned, deciding to tease him.  "Well, maybe you're fucking me 
with love."

He shouted out a burst a laughter and shook his head. "You're 
amazing."

"Love you too, Mulder."

He rolled over pulling me into his side.  I felt our combined juices 
flow out of me and I lunged for the tissues at the side of the bed.  
He chuckled and rolled up onto one arm and carefully cleaned me 
up, tossing the tissues in the waste basket.  He cleaned himself a 
bit and pulled me into him again.

"So did we finish our game, Mulder?" I asked.

"I don't care," he said carelessly.

I chuckled.  "You can ask me anything, anytime, from now on, all 
right?"

"Same here."

"So was this little game as revealing as you hoped it would be?"

He looked at me tenderly, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.  
"More than I ever dreamed possible."

I felt my eyes grow moist and he added, "That's a good thing.  I 
think we've put some monsters to bed over the last couple of days."

"Mmm, that we have although I think there's one monster that I 
woke up."  I reached out to rest my hand on his flaccid penis.

He chuckled.  "He's been awake for a long time - you just finally 
let him out of his cage."

We chuckled together and settled down to sleep.  If I had anything 
to say about it, tomorrow was going to be as tiring as today was.  I 
would have to ask Mulder what his favorite position was.  I bet it 
wasn't a position but an act.  I actually felt my mouth water at the 
thought of giving him a blow job.  It would be a challenge.  His 
penis was a monster in more ways than one.

Good lord.  I had never been this horny.  Indeed, the monster in me 
had been let out of her cage as well.  I felt immense contentment at 
this new openness that we seemed to have developed, being 
willing to be reveal our inner selves.  I grinned and drifted off to 
sleep, looking forward to more monster wrestling.

THE END.