Title: Seduces Me Author: Angela C.J. Wettergren E-mail: Starbuck79@hotmail.com Rating: NC-17 Category: V/R/A Spoilers: The End Keyword: Mulder/Scully Romance Summary: A story about love and jealousy. Disclaimer: No, they don't belong to me, but I'm sure they would be a lot better off if they did! You all saw what CC did to Scully in this ep! Sheesh. He doesn't deserve them. Dedication: I want to dedicate this little piece to Gillian Anderson, for simply being the best actress there is. Not that she'll ever read this, but anyway. I simply find her acting amazing, and when Scully sat in the car after seeing Mulder and Diana holding hands... It just made me cry. Also, I saw "The Mighty" the other day... A great movie (which you *have* to see if you get the chance), in which Gillian's performance was absolutely incredible. Thanks: To my dear friend, Joy. For telling me, in a nice way, what sucked and what didn't. Without her, this story wouldn't have been posted. (I don't know if my re-writing ever improved those parts, but anyway.) Also to Linda, for simply being who you are. Sometimes I don't know what I would do without you. You truly are one of the best friends I've ever had. Author's Notes: This is probably not the best "The End" story there is out there, but after seeing the episode myself, I just had to write about it. Scully was so jealous in this ep, and I wanted to explore those feelings more. This fanfic may be a little exaggerated, but you never know, do you? Most of this story actually got written at school between lessons. Feedback: Yes, please. After all my agonizing if I should even post this one, I would really appreciate it. Mail me at Starbuck79@hotmail.com *~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~* I despise myself for feeling this jealousy raging inside of me. I've always hated jealousy. It is something that I cannot control, and therefore something that makes me feel completely powerless. I don't like myself when I feel this way. When I walked by you outside in the hallway, and saw you holding on to each other's hands... It couldn't possibly have hurt more if you yourself had taken a knife and stabbed my heart with it. It took all of me not to start crying in my car. That was my hand you were supposed to be holding. I am the one who should lend you my strength. I am the one you are supposed to trust. I am the one you're supposed to... I can't believe I acted so childishly. Dana Scully, childish. I don't know why I called you up, asking you to come back to work, simply for the reason of taking you away from her. I wonder if you could hear in my voice what I had seen. I wonder if you even cared. I tried to keep my voice strong and Scully-like, but even I could hear its wavering. You never held my hand and looked at me that way unless I was on my deathbed. I don't want to be dying for you to show some kind of feelings toward me. I met with you and told you what the Gunmen and I had found earlier. I studied you when you looked at the results, somehow expecting you to answer my every question. But you didn't. We met with Skinner and the others, and I tried to explain what I couldn't even understand myself. Diana got into the conversation, and when she said that she had a personal interest in the X-Files, and you just looked at her and nodded... I just wanted to stand up and scream at her that that wasn't her job anymore. That *I* was your partner now, the X-Files were *our* lives, not hers. Of course I didn't. Instead I played the good FBI Agent and left the room with the others when Skinner asked to speak with you alone. I wanted to scream at him too. Why did he always want to talk to you alone? I was your partner, I was just as much involved with this as you were. But I left silently. As always. I sat with you at your apartment after Diana had been shot. You on the couch, and me sitting next to you by your desk. All I wanted to do was to curl up against you, feeling your arms around me, holding me close. But I stayed where I was, and I called Skinner. I didn't even care what he'd think when I told him I was at your place with you. Half the people in the bureau already think we're together anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I just wish they were right. When you asked about Diana, I felt the jealousy well up again. I don't know what I had expected you to do when she got shot. Not care? No, that wouldn't have been the Mulder I know. I loved you for asking. But I also hated you for it. I told you they were talking about us right then. That they were probably going to shut down the X-files. That they were going to reassign us both. You looked so defeated. And you were, in a way. So was I. My gaze fell to the floor, no longer able to watch you, as you seemed to refuse meeting my searching eyes with your own. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I silently rose from the uncomfortable chair I was sitting in. I moved to the couch, lifted your legs up, and sat down, placing them back in my lap. You didn't stop me. You simply opened your eyes slowly, giving me that sad look. You watched me just as silently, accepting this closeness between us. I put my hands on your legs, slowly rubbing them - caressing them - up and down. You closed your eyes again, and my head fell back, seeking rest and support. I heard your breath even next to me, and I think you finally fell asleep. We hadn't said a word to each other for the past hour. Did we even have to? I didn't use to think so. Now I don't know. You've never told me about Diana. You haven't explained anything to me now. I had to find out from the Lone Gunmen that she used to be your partner. Do you know how embarrassing that was? I swear, they could see right through me, right through my jealousy. They suddenly got this look of sympathy, and I just wanted to sink through the floor. Just disappear from the face of the earth. Would you even have cared? I know I am being unfair. I know you would have cared. You would have been upset. You probably even would have cried for me. Or would you simply have cried for yourself? Because you had once again failed? Failed me, Mulder? Or failed yourself? I don't know if I should love you or hate you. What is this kind of love that keeps me staying? I once told you that my life wasn't going in circles, but in a line, with one step forward, and two steps back. I was wrong. I am walking in a circle. The same thing keeps happening to me over and over again. I find myself consumed with jealousy. But never as much as now. Diana Fowley is different. She is someone you apparently trust. Do you trust her more than you trust me? If she survives, will she be the one you'll turn to? Because she's a 'believer' like you? Is that what you have been wishing for all these years? Someone like yourself? Will this jealousy never end? I can't even stand seeing you with her. I never thought that I, Dana Katherine Scully, 'the strong and sensible', would feel this way. But I do. I've known you for many years now, Mulder. And over the years, you have become the most important person in my life - in my whole existence. Your presence have both strengthened me and weakened me. Strengthened me because of what we've been through, of what you've shown me. Strengthened me because I've had your friendship and your trust. But weakened me because I depend on these things, and when I don't have them, I fall apart. I've always been able to take care of myself. I still am, but not in the same way. Without you, I don't feel complete. I feel as if you've ripped out a part of my soul, which will never be returned. Will you return it to me? Will you tell me what I long to hear? What does it take to make you care about me, Mulder? I want you to care, dammit! I know it's much of me to ask of you. Even though I love you, you are completely self-absorbed. Yes, you care about the people around you, probably more than about yourself. But you don't realize who needs that care more than anyone. Me. I need it more than ever. You are not the only one who's lived for the X-files and for finding the truth. By living for you, I lived for those things as well. And I wanted to help you in your search, both for you, and also for myself. Mulder, I have lost just as much as you have; things for which I know you are still blaming yourself. You don't have to. It was my choice to stay. Nobody forced me to. I chose to. No matter what you've done, no matter what you'll do, I'll always be by your side. Standing by you in your darkest hours. I'm only hurting myself, but somewhere deep inside, I'm hoping that you will realize. Realize what is right before you. You are not alone, Mulder. I don't want to be either. Then Skinner called. Our office was on fire. 'Our' office... It was always your office. Why was I there? Did you want me there? Do you still want me to be with you? Or do you believe you lost everything in that fire? You didn't, Mulder. As I said, you still have me. You'll always have me. You acted almost mechanically. We took my car together to the FBI building. As soon as I had stopped the car, you were out of it, and inside the building. I quickly followed you, as always. I caught up with you just in time to see you disappear down the stairs to the office. When I got there, I couldn't believe what I saw. You stood absolutely still in the now almost completely black office. I slowly stepped in, and turned around, my eyes traveling over the walls, your desk and the filing cabinets; finally ending up on you. You didn't look at me. You simply looked out over the small basement office, the pain reflecting in your eyes. I walked up to you, standing right in front of you. I gently placed my hands on your biceps, squeezing softly. I looked at you, but you still stared right ahead. So I slowly leaned my head against your chest, feeling the tears rise in my eyes. I didn't cry for our office. Well, maybe in a way I did. We both had a lot of memories in that office. We both had all our work there. Everything we had been fighting for over the past years. But I cried for us. For what this was doing to us. It was splitting us apart. Breaking us. You didn't return my embrace. I don't know if you even realized I was there with you. Did you, Mulder? Will I ever know? A minute later you were gone. I didn't even get the chance to react before you were out of my arms, out of the office. I didn't follow you. I don't think you wanted me to. I simply stood silent and still, watching you walk away. Watching you walk out of my life? God, I hope not. Mulder, I need you in my life. I would need you even if I didn't want to have you in my life anymore. It is no longer under my control. I didn't notice that Skinner had entered the office until he put a gentle hand on my arm. I flinched away from him. I couldn't take anyone's sympathy. Not then. I excused myself before he started asking questions I didn't have any answers to. I could feel his eyes on my back as I left. I'm sure he thought I was going after you. But I didn't. Instead I'm sitting here. I'm at home, on my own couch. But when I look around my apartment, all I can see is you. You haven't really been here that often. But you've sure left your marks in my memory. I so clearly remember the time you were drugged, and I had to take care of you. You were burning with fever, and you fell into my arms as soon as I had opened the door for you. I remember the time you were hiding in my bedroom, turning to me, because I was the only one you trusted. Dammit, Mulder! What happened to that trust? What happened to us? Us... Has there ever been such a thing? Or has it always been 'you' and 'me'; two separate persons who only were together because they had been placed together? I refuse to believe that. We've fought to be together. They've tried to separate us, but they've never succeeded. Not until now. I fear that they have really won this time, Mulder. I feel as if they've beaten me to the ground, and I am unable to get up again. I've always counted on you to be there with me; you helping me, and me helping you. I thought we would always be there for each other. But now you're gone, and I don't know if you'll ever come back to me again. I wonder if you're with Diana now. If you are sitting by her side at the hospital, like you used to do with me. I wonder if you are holding her hand, kissing her cheek, like you did with me. I wonder if you are whispering words to her, like you did to me. Do you know that I lived for those words and touches, Mulder? I did. I do. I slowly lay myself down on the couch, my head resting on my left arm. I feel cold, but I don't get up to fetch a blanket. I already know it wouldn't help. I'm cold because you're not here with me. My apartment is completely dark. It's dark outside. I haven't seen or heard from you all day. I miss you terribly. I haven't even turned on the TV. That's not the company I want. Suddenly I hear a key in the door. I don't reach for my gun. I know it's you. I lie completely still, my breath hardly audible. I can hear you step into my apartment. I can't see you, because my couch is turned away from the door. The soft light from the hallway is making patterns on my walls. I hear the rustle from you taking your jacket off, throwing it on the chair next to you. Then you don't move at all. All I can hear is your breathing, as I hold my own. I don't think you realize that I am here. Why are you here, Mulder? Then you close the door behind you. All light disappears, and I am once again surrounded by darkness. Although I am no longer alone. At least not in the physical sense of the word. I hear you move toward me, and then I can see your silhouette as you sit down in the chair next to the couch where I'm lying. You still haven't seen me, and I stay silent. If I reached out my hand, I would be able to touch you, to feel your skin against mine. But I don't. Not yet. I want to know why you are here. Tell me, Mulder. We stay this way for minutes. I'm just waiting for your eyes to get used to the dark, for you to notice me. But you seem to be in your own thoughts, leaning back in the chair, sighing out loud. When I hear that sigh, I want to take you in my arms. I want to try and make it all better. But I know I can't. Suddenly you speak, and I realize you've known my presence in the apartment all along. "I don't know what to do, Scully." Your voice is low and sad, and it makes tears well up in my eyes. You sound as if you have lost all your hope, all your beliefs. I'm still here, Mulder. I'm still here. "I know," I simply answer. Nothing else. I let you take the steps forward. I won't drag anything out of you that you don't want to tell me. No matter how many questions I have burning inside me, waiting for your answers. Once again, several minutes pass by before you speak. You say the words I dreaded to hear. "I've been with Diana," you say, and I wonder if I just imagined the way your voice sounded. As if you feel guilty about it. Then you continue. "I've spoken to the doctors. They say she's probably gonna be OK." "I'm glad," I tell you, but deep inside I don't know how to feel, and I pray you can't hear my voice sound as strange as it does in my head. I can see you nod in the dark, but you don't say anything. Do you know how I'm feeling? Do you know of my jealousy? Before I can stop myself, the words rush out of my mouth. "Is that where you've been until now?" I mentally beat myself for my words, but you don't seem to have found them strange. "No," you say. He pauses for a few seconds. "I've been at the Lone Gunmen's." I can feel your eyes on me, and I bury my face in my arms, turning on the couch. I am so glad all the lights are still out, so that you can't see me clearly. "They told me that you'd asked about Diana," you tell me, and I want to disappear. How could they? Suddenly I feel your hand on my arm. It is so warm and gentle, and I let you keep it there. I want it there. I curse myself for being this weak. You softly caress my arm as you speak, and I can feel my blood pulsing through my veins at your touch. "I'm so sorry, Scully," you say, low as a whisper. Are you, Mulder? I want to ask, but I keep myself from speaking. I think you know I won't say anything, because you start talking again. "I didn't realize how all of this was affecting you. I didn't realize you wanted me to tell you something." I sit up, and I immediately miss the warmth of your hand on my arm. "I don't want you to tell me anything you're not comfortable with," I say. "I don't want you to feel as if I'm pushing you to anything." My words are true, but I do want you to tell me. Even though I'm not sure I really want to finally hear it. I'm not sure of anything. You rise from the chair, and the next thing I now, you're sitting next to me on the couch. We are now sitting close, out thighs touching. I want to turn and bury my face in your chest, feel your arms encircle me to hold me close against you. Instead I simply wait for your next words. "I want you to know," you say, and my eyes drop down to watch my folded hands laying in my lap. You slowly reach out and grab one of my hands in your own, squeezing it gently. Without looking at you, I squeeze back. I can almost feel the sad smile I know is on your face. You take a deep breath before you continue. "Diana and I were partners when I found the X-files. She was the one who helped me." I try taking my hand away, but you hold on to it, refusing to let me draw away from you. "Please, Scully," you beg, and I try to relax again. You seem satisfied, and you loosen your grip on my hand a little, but still holding on tight enough for me to understand you want to keep it there. "She was the one I trusted back then," you tell me, and I feel my chest tighten at your words. You seem to notice my reaction, because you once again squeeze my hand a little tighter as you say, "I told you the truth when I said you are the only one I trust. Do you remember that, Scully?" I nod slowly, thinking back. "It was true, Scully. You are the only one I trust. You are the only one I ever will trust." Your words bring tears to my eyes; tears I am unable to stop. You have no idea how you affect me, with simple words or touches. They are so much more to me. To hear from your mouth, that I am still the one you trust, means more to me than you will ever know. A tear falls down on our joined hands, and you gently rub it away with one of your fingers. So gentle... "Don't cry," you whisper. "I don't want you to cry, Scully." Your free hand comes up to cup my cheek, and you turn my face to look at you. "Don't cry," you say again, as you caress my cheek with your soft hand. My eyes close, as I am unable to look at you without starting to cry even harder. Then I feel your lips pressing against my forehead, and I sigh at the tingling feeling that runs through my body. What you do to me, Mulder. As if you have been with me in my mind all day, you say, "You don't have to worry, Scully. I would never turn away from you. I would never turn to someone else." Then you pause as if you think about something. "Unless you want me to." My eyes fly open, and I stare right into yours. How can you even think such a thing? I start to protest, but one of your fingers on my lips silence me. Then your eyes become more intense as you watch your finger run over my bottom lip. I take the step, and I kiss it gently. Your eyes once again meet mine, your finger still on my lip. "Did you love her?" I silently ask against it. You know who I mean. You don't answer me right away. Instead you keep that intense look in your eyes as you watch me. I feel confused. I don't know what that look means. Suddenly you lean forward, and then your lips touch to mine. All thoughts leave my mind as the gentle pressure of your mouth against my own is all I can focus on. Your lips are softer than I ever could have imagined. They move slowly over mine, brushing lightly. Your hand is now entangled in my hair, pulling me closer to you. You break the kiss. "I want you, Scully," you say. "I *need* you." We both know that isn't the answer to my question, but right now I don't care. I want this more than anything. I want *you* more than anything. Everything that you do, everything that you are, seduces me. You're like a drug to my system. Even your most innocent kiss, or your lightest caress, sets my whole being on fire. I don't know what to say. For once, I am totally speechless. Instead I hold your gaze with mine, as I raise my hand to touch your face. I slowly run my fingers over your features, feeling the roughness on your chin. You haven't shaved. I stand from the couch, and you put both your hands on my waist. I straddle your legs, and the next thing I know, I am sitting in your lap. My chest is pressed against yours, and our faces come closer. I can feel your hot breath mingle with mine, as our mouths are mere millimeters away from each other. My hands rest on your chest, with only your T-shirt between them and your skin. I want to feel you against me, Mulder. Our eyes lock once again, and I don't need any light to see the desire in them. One of your hands covers mine, and the other comes up to my face. You push away a stray strand of hair that have fallen over my eyes, and then twirl it around your finger. Then you close the distance between us, and you kiss my face. You start with my forehead; soft, gentle kisses. I close my eyes. You continue down over my eyelids, kissing each with a tenderness that amazes me. You kiss my nose, and then your lips graze mine. I stop you. Even in the dark, I can see the confusion mixing with the desire in your eyes. "Mulder..." I say, and then pause. I'm still not sure what to say. I don't know why I stopped you. I want this more than anything. I want you inside me, filling me with your raw passion. But I have to know you want it as much. And for the right reasons. I am afraid the only reason you've come here is for comfort. That you only need someone, and that tonight, I just happened to be that 'someone'. "What's wrong, Scully?" you ask me, your hand caressing my face, forcing me to look at you. "I want to trust you, Mulder..." I start. "I *do* trust you," I add quickly, but then I fall silent again. You don't understand, Mulder. I don't understand myself. "I can't do this." I put my hands on your shoulders, pushing myself up and then off you. I sit down next to you on the couch again, but this time we're not sitting as close. Suddenly I feel like I am miles away from you. I fall silent. I can feel your eyes resting on me in the dark. Suddenly, light fills the apartment, and I realize you just turned on the lamp that is standing on the small table next to the couch. I wish you had left us in the dark. I felt safer in the dark. "Scully, talk to me." I don't. "Scully, please." The pleading in your voice affects me deeply, cutting through me like a hot blade. I close my eyes, refusing to let you have this power over me. You're not even aware you have it. I am not about to let you know, either. You sigh just loud enough for me to hear it. I know it was meant for me. What do you want from me, Mulder? Did you expect that you could just come over here and I would jump right into bed with you? That all you needed to say is that you want me? Well, it's not good enough, Mulder. Not by a long shot. Suddenly I feel angry. I quickly get up from the couch and I stand in front of you, this time with more space between us than the last time. My hands on my hips, I start spitting out the words. "What the hell are you doing here, Mulder?" You start saying something, but I put up a hand to stop you. "No, don't," I tell you, and my voice is dripping with the resentment I can feel rising inside me. "I know why you came here. You thought you would get laid, isn't that it? Isn't that why you came here?!" You look at me as if I am speaking in a language you cannot understand. What part of it was so hard to get? I continue. "Did you think you could just tell me that you want me?" I stop, and rephrase myself, my voice hard and sarcastic, "Oh, sorry. I mean *need* me, of course, and that would do it? Do you really think I'm that easy?! 'Oh, sure, go to Scully when you want a pity fuck, she's such a nice person, she won't mind.' Well, I *mind*!!" I have run out of breath, and I take in your appearance. You look as if someone just punched you in the face. As if *I* just punched you in the face. Good. You deserved it. I try and calm down, waiting for you to say something. It's your turn to speak now. Let me hear it, Mulder. Let me hear what you have to say. You don't say anything. You just watch me as I stand before you. Your eyes travel over my face. From my eyes to my lips, and then back up to my eyes again. When you look at me that way, you make me want to forget everything that has happened. I want to forgive you. Damn you, Mulder. "I think you should go now, Mulder," I say, and my voice no longer holds the anger it did only minutes earlier. It is low and sad. I can't look at you. With my eyes focused on the floor under me, I once again say, "Just go." Barely a whisper. I close my eyes, trying to force back the tears that are threatening to come. Then you speak. "Scully, what's all this about?" You're voice is so tentative, as if you are not sure you want to hear my answer. "'What's all this about?'" I repeat, a bitter laugh coming from my mouth. "'What's all this about?!' Is that all you have to say?!" I scream at him, all of my anger returned once again. I can't believe how someone with your IQ can be so damn stupid sometimes. "Scully, I..." I wait for you to continue, but you don't. You disappoint me, Mulder. "Just get out of here." I stand before you, my arms crossed over my chest, as if I can protect myself from you that way. I can't. "Scully, come on," you say, carefully. "Tell me." I just look at you for what seems like hours. You hold my gaze with your own, never averting your eyes from mine. Finally I speak. "Get out." I turn for the kitchen. I have to be anywhere but in this living-room right now. Your hand grabbing mine stops me. I refuse to look at you, even as I feel your slight tugging on my arm, willing me to turn around. "Please," I beg. "Just go." "I'm sorry, Scully," you offer. I spin around, and you say it again, with a slight shrugging of your shoulders. "I'm sorry." "It's not good enough, Mulder," I tell you. "You've hurt me too often, and too deep. It isn't all going to go away with an 'I'm sorry'! You can't just come here and kiss me, telling me you want me, and expect everything to be great! It doesn't work that way, Mulder!" I'm sure my neighbors will start banging on the walls soon if I don't stop screaming. I don't care. "I can't handle this anymore! I can't let you have this power over me! What is it you want from me?!" I feel like I'm gonna lose my voice any second now. I feel like I'm losing my mind. You quickly rise from the couch and place yourself in front of me. "I want you, Scully!" you scream back at me. "You!" "Mulder, you've always had me!" I shout back. I want to hit you, and I feel the wetness in my eyes. They are tears of anger, tears of hurt. "You've always had me!" I repeat again. "I fucking love you, Mulder! All you've ever had to do is say the words!" My hand flies up to cover my mouth. I can't believe what I just told you. By the look on your face, I assume you can't believe it either. You simply stare at me, dumbfounded. We both knew it already, but for me to actually say it... I turn around, and slowly walk over to the window. I stand there, my back to you, looking up at the sky. I'm searching for the stars, but they are invisible tonight. Maybe somehow I was hoping they would give me comfort. No such luck. I stand with my arms crossed, hugging myself tight. The tears silently run down my cheeks, and my vision becomes blurry. I beg myself to stop crying, but I no longer have any control. I hate showing you my weakness like this. I want you to see me as the strong person I try to be. The strong person I usually am. The person I want to be right now. Suddenly I sense you standing behind me. I can feel your presence, even though I didn't hear you move. I've always been able to feel you when you're close to me. I've always been able to feel you when you're *not* close to me. Our special connection... We stand like this for minutes. Minutes which pass by without either of us speaking. All I can hear is your breath, which has somehow synchronized with my own. Then you put both of your hands on my shoulders and I feel myself tense and relax at the same time. We stay silent. Your left hand moves my hair away and exposes my bare neck to you. Suddenly I feel your lips pressing against the sensitive skin there, and a shiver runs through my body against my will. My whole body starts shaking. I'm not sure if it is from the crying, the anger, or the desire you rise in me. You continue kissing my neck, and my head helplessly falls to the side, letting you explore further. My brain tells me to stop you, but my heart tells me to urge you on. I listen to my heart. Isn't that what that song tells you to do? Listen to your heart? I can't remember. Your tongue snakes out to taste my skin, and I have to put my hands up against the window to prevent myself from falling. A soft moan escapes my throat as I feel you sucking on my skin. You're probably trying to give me a hickey. My head falls back to rest on your shoulder, and I feel your arms encircle me to keep me steady on my feet. I'm lucky you did, because then I feel my knees buckle under me, as you take my earlobe in your mouth, slightly nibbling on it. "God..." A sigh. Then you simply hold me as you whisper in my ear. "I want you, Scully. I need you." Then comes what I've been wanting to hear for as long as I can remember. "I love you..." I need to hear you say it again. So I ask, "What did you just say?" You kiss me behind my ear, before you once again tell me, this time a bit louder, "I love you, Scully. I love you so much." Before you've finished the sentence, I've turned in your arms, and I am now facing you. Tears are still running down my face, although I am no longer sure if they are tears of sadness or of happiness. You cup my face in your hands, and let your thumbs gently wipe away my tears. I put my hand on your arm, stroking it up and down. I then turn my head slightly to kiss the palm of your hand, and I can't help but smile when I feel the shiver run through your body. Our eyes meet and they lock immediately. I can see the love in your eyes, and I realize it has always been there. I can't believe I haven't seen it before now. You close the distance between us and press your lips against mine in a sweet, sensual kiss. My eyelids feel heavy and I close my eyes, giving myself totally to the feeling of you. You run your tongue slowly over my bottom lip, encouraging me to let you in. With a sigh, I open my mouth, and you immediately find your way in. You explore me thoroughly, your tongue following the contours of the roof of my mouth. Our tongues meet, and they get caught up in a fierce battle. The thought of air swiftly flies through my mind, but right now it doesn't matter. All that matters is the feeling of your mouth against mine, the taste of you on my tongue. My arms find their way up and around your neck, as you carefully tilt my head to the side to give you better access. Your fingers run through my hair before you once again let them travel down to my face, caressing my cheeks as our kiss continues. You draw me closer to you, and my body is pressed up against yours. I can feel your arousal pressing against my stomach, and as silly as it may sound, I feel proud I did this to you. That you want me. That you love me. I let my hands drift down your body and I caress your back lightly, moving my fingers in slow, small circles. I can hear a low hum coming from the back of your throat, and I realize I am making the same sound myself. We finally break the kiss, both of us breathing heavily. You shower my face with feather-light kisses, and I return them with the same passion. Then you hug me close to you, and I bury my face in your chest, inhaling the smell of you. I love the way you smell, Mulder. I push you in front of me, until the back of your legs bump into the edge of the couch, and you fall down on it. I once again place myself in your lap, only this time I have no intention of stopping you. I grab your face with my hands, as I capture your soft lips with mine in a passionate kiss. Your hands travel down to my bottom, and you press me closer to you. I gasp into your mouth as I feel your erection pressing up against me. I can feel the wetness between my legs, as my own arousal grows even more. One of your hands has found its way to my front, and is busy massaging my breast. The feeling of your hands on me is impossible to describe. You have wonderful hands. I press myself against it, trying to increase the pressure. Then your hand leaves my breast and I immediately miss it. But then I feel it tugging at the hem of my sweater, and I realize what you're about to do. I raise both my arms over my head as you pull it off of me in one swift motion. Your eyes travel down to my almost naked breasts, only covered in a white, cotton bra. You cup them in your hands, lifting and squeezing at the same time, and my head falls back. Your fingers fumble with the clasp at the back, and I can feel you trembling. I reach back and put my hands over yours. You look up at me, and I unclasp the bra myself, revealing myself to you. You push a lock of hair out of my face, and I lean forward for yet another kiss. You suck lightly on my lower lip, before I let my tongue slip into your mouth. I am tasting you, drinking you. Our tongues duel hotly with each other for a few moments, before I reluctantly pull away to catch my breath. You kiss your way down my throat, and stop for a moment when you reach my collarbone. Your tongue snakes out to lave at the soft skin, before you continue down. When you reach my breasts, you stop. At first I don't know what to think, as you just look at them. Then you smile and look up at me again. "You are so beautiful, Scully," you tell me, and I smile back at you. What is it with men and breasts? Then you lower your head, and my smile disappears as your teeth graze my left nipple and you begin licking it. I moan softly, and this seems to urge you on. You take it into your mouth, as you roll my other nipple between your fingers. I fight the urge to squirm, but in the end, I can't hold back. I push myself away from you, and for a second I can see the fear in your eyes. I am quick to reassure you that I'm not going anywhere. "I just want to feel your skin against mine," I say, and you understand what I mean. You help me as I pull your T-shirt over your head. I throw it to the side, and then let out a small yelp as you wrap your arms around me and draw me close to you. My hardened nipples brush against your chest, and I press myself even closer. But it's not enough. I want to feel your whole body. I raise myself up on my knees, and somehow I am able to get out of my trousers. I reach down, and quickly unzip yours as well. It doesn't matter how good you look in those jeans, I want to see you without them. You raise your lower body, and I draw them off you, taking your boxers with them as I do. I jump off the couch, and take off your shoes and socks, leaving you completely naked before me. I let my eyes travel over your aroused body, and I smile my approval as our eyes meet. You put your hands on my waist and smile back as you say, "It seems to me as if you still have something on," indicating my panties. You hook one finger on each side, and then slowly draw them down my legs. I step out of them as they reach my feet, and within a moment, you have pulled me back onto your lap again. I reach down and take your length in my hand, gently caressing it. You thrust up against me, and once again, a smile lights up my face. You lean your head down, and take my nipple into your mouth, mimicking my hand's actions with your tongue. I cry out your name, and somehow it feels so right. To scream your name in passion. I increase the pace and pressure with my hand over your penis, and you let go of my nipple as you moan my name. That sounded even more right. I want to hear it again. You don't disappoint me. I scoot back a little on your thighs so I can take your nipple between my lips, and do to you, what you just did to me. "Scully, Scully, Scully." You murmur my name over and over again, as I give my full attention to your pleasure. Your hands are traveling over my back, making slow, gentle patterns with your soft fingers. You caress my sides, and a shiver runs through me. Your hands feel so wonderful. You're touch is so careful, as if you are afraid I'm gonna break. Suddenly you stand up, my mouth being pulled away from your nipple, and your hands leaving mine to come around my back again. You are dangerously close to slipping into me, as I cross my legs behind your back to prevent you from dropping me. Not that you would drop me anyway. Your arms hold me close to you, as you walk towards my bedroom. I lean my head on your shoulder, softly nipping on your neck with my lips, and you slowly caress my bare back with your hands. You lay me down on the bed, and I immediately miss having you near as you simply sit down beside me. You reach out for the drawer on the nightstand, take out the matches I know are there, and light the candle that stands on the small table next to us. Soft light fills the room, and as you look at me, I can see it reflect in your hazel eyes. I won't even ask how you knew the matches would be there. My hand reaches out to touch your face, and you cover it with one of your own, stroking it gently. You lay down beside me. Our faces are so close I can feel your hot breath on my skin. We simply look into each other's eyes as we touch the other's face. I don't think either of us can completely understand that we are here. That we are about to do what we are. "I love you so much," I whisper to you, and you kiss me deeply. My arms encircle your neck, and I pull you closer, your body covering mine like a warm blanket. As you break the kiss, you say, "Me too, Scully. I love you more than anything. Trust me." I do. More than anything. My hand entangles in your hair, and I feel its softness between my fingers. I raise my head and run my tongue over your bottom lip, then softly suck it into my mouth. Your hands caress my sides, up and down in flowing movements, as our kiss deepens. I put my other hand up with the other, pulling you even closer to me, and our kiss becomes more passionate with every passing second. I can feel your arousal pressing against my thigh, and with one hand, I reach down between our bodies, and stroke you slowly. But then you break the kiss and stop my hand. "Oh no," you tell me. "I'm not finished with you yet." The mischievous smile and glint in your eyes make me sigh of both happiness and excitement at the very same time. I know what you are about to do, and you know that I know. Your soft mouth leaves a trail of fire on my naked body. My head falls back on the pillow as you start down my neck, stopping there as my head helplessly falls to the side; the motion telling you I like it. You let your tongue flick out occasionally as you hear my moans, and I love you even more. You know me so well it scares me sometimes, Mulder. You continue down to my collarbones, kissing each of them with a tenderness I really could get used to. Then, without any warning, your lips have moved down to my left breast. I desperately clutch your hair in my hands as your lips close over my nipple, sucking it into your mouth, gently biting down on it. "God, Mulder." That is all I can say. I've suddenly lost the capability to speak, but right now, I don't really care. Your mouth on me feels wonderful, and as you switch to my other nipple, a deep sigh - or maybe more like a moan - escapes me. You give my right nipple the same attention as the other before moving down even further. Your tongue leaves a wet trail down to my navel, where your tongue dips in, making me shiver. I didn't know that would feel so damn good before tonight. I am so aroused I can't even believe it. Should it even be possible to feel this way? I didn't think so before tonight. I've had lovers before. Not so many I can't remember them all, but not so few that I didn't consider myself experienced before tonight. If I had known this was the way it was supposed to feel... Then all thoughts leave my mind, as I feel your breath on my center. You stop, doing nothing, and I heavily open my eyes and gaze down at you. You are simply looking at me, and I get terrified that you have changed your mind. "Mulder?" I can barely speak. Then your fingers part me, and you place a gentle kiss there. A shudder runs through me, and I am no longer afraid. I never want to be afraid again. And with just one flick of your tongue, I explode. The orgasm hits me like a storm, like a tornado raging through my nerves. I scream your name into the silent night. "Mulder!" Over and over again, as you bring me to yet another orgasm. Or maybe it was a continuance of the first, I don't know. I don't care. Finally my body falls down onto the bed, exhausted. I grab your shoulders and bring you up to me. You press you lips against mine, and I can taste myself as our tongues meet. Then you raise your head a little and look into my eyes. My hand rests on the back of your neck, and you wind your fingers through my hair, pushing away a damp strand which lies over my forehead. God, I love you so much. As if I spoke the words out loud, you repeat them. "I love you so much, Scully," you say, your voice softer than I've ever heard it before. "So much..." I never thought you would be this way. In a way, it's not who I thought you were. You're usually not good with emotions. Not when it's come to showing me how you really feel. But I like it. I like it a lot. Then I feel your hardness against me, and I realize all you've cared about is giving me what I wanted. What I needed. I still need you. Want you. Love you. "Mulder..." I whisper, and kiss you slowly. "Make love to me." A beautiful smile spreads on your face, and then you are inside me. We both gasp at the sensation, as I am still sensitive from my earlier orgasm. I capture your lips with my own as you push deep inside me, filling me completely. It sounds like such a cliche, but it's true. Sometimes it's the cliches that describe what we feel the best. I've never felt so complete as I do with you. You mean everything to me, Mulder. I hope you know that. I try to start telling you. "Mulder... You..." But you silence me with your lips, and I decide I'll have to remember to tell you later. You pull out of me, almost so far you slip out, but then you push back inside, and I raise my hips to meet your thrust. We move faster and faster, my own arousal building up again, more with every stroke. Our lips meet in a fierce, wonderful kiss, and then you scream into my mouth as your hot semen fills my body. Only seconds later, my inner muscles clench around you, as I once again pass over the bridge to ecstasy. You collapse over me, your head resting on my chest. Your breath is coming in hard, ragged puffs, and I gently stroke your hair as I feel your heartbeats slow down. I kiss the top of your head, and you sigh against my naked skin. Your arm curves protectively around my waist as you pull me even closer to you. I love feeling you this close; not only physically, but also mentally. By admitting to each other our true feelings, we became one, body and soul. I love you. You love me. We still have problems to talk about. There are still things I need to know. But one thing I already know for certain. You love me. I don't know if that is enough, but right now it's all that matters. THE END. *~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~* So? Did you like it? Any comments are more than welcome to me at Starbuck79@hotmail.com -- Ang http://www.angelfire.com/ms/starbuck79