Shampoo War
By: Diana Alexander
di_mulder@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: The characters from the television
show, "The X-Files", used in this piece of
fiction are the property of Chris Carter, 1013
Productions and Fox Broadcasting. No infringement
is intended. Any other characters are the
property of the author, Diana Alexander.

Classifications: SRH
Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance
Spoilers: none
Feedback: always welcome at di_mulder@hotmail.com
Summary: Mulder, Scully and shampoo. Need I say
more?

Author's Note: Thanks, Christina, for giving me
this idea... okay, challenging me to write it...
and ... I finally finished it!!! Okay, warning,
this is the result of having watched too many
Herbal Essence shampoo (and body wash)
commericals. Enjoy! :D
* * * * *

Scully walked into the basement office to find
Storm asleep in Mulder's desk chair, soft music
playing in the background. Since it was better
than Storm's normal music choice, she left it and
settled at her own desk and slipped off her
shoes.

"This past case was bad, eh?" Storm's voice
floated through the darkness and Scully sighed in
response.

"Yes. Yes, it was."

"I think we're all entitled to a really really
long vacation. Or a trip to the shrink."

"Or both," Scully nodded and Storm agreed.

"Yeah, Dana... hey, you don't mind if I head out
for a while, do you? I got some sleep to catch
up on."

"Go on, I'll catch up with you later." Dana
watched her friend rise from the chair and head
out the door. She sighed and flipped the radio
over to the classical station and relaxed. It
was late and nobody else was here.

Just as Bach's "Air on a G-String" started to
play, Scully heard a key in the lock on the door
and opened her eyes to see her partner standing
in the doorway, looking at her with surprise.

"Scully, what are you doing here?"

"Relaxing before I head home. Listening to
music."

"I never knew you liked classical. What is
this?"

"It's Bach."

"Oooh, Scully... I live for Bach."

"Heh... Somehow I doubt that."

"You wound me," he gave her a mock-wounded puppy
dog look before continuing. "This piece does
sound familiar, though. What is it?"

"Air on a G-String."

"Sounds like one of those videos that aren't
mine."

"Don't go there, Mulder."

"What? You mean you don't want to see the air on
my g-string?" he smirked at her.

Scully ran a hand through her hair with a sigh,
"Mulder, I wasn't even aware you *owned* a
G-string."

"What? Doesn't everybody? Do you?" he arched an
eyebrow at her.

A slow smile curved her lips, "That, Mulder, is
something for you to think about. And something
that you won't be finding out any time soon."

"Don't be so sure about that, Scully."

"Oh, I'm sure," she smiled, rising from the chair
and heading for the door. "I'm very sure. See
you on Monday, Mulder."

He just shook his head as she walked out the
door.

* * * * *

Scully sighed as she settled in to take her
shower. It had been a rather stressful week,
what with Mulder and Storm at each others throats
again. Sometimes they seemed to get along almost
like friends, but most of the time that wasn't
the case. Dana sighed and rubbed her temples.
Suddenly the saying "Thank God It's Friday"
definitely applied.

The conforting pound of water against her back
had an almost therapeutic affect on her. The
tight muscles relaxed and her mild headache
started to ebb slightly. After running the soapy
washcloth over her body, Scully reached for the
new bottle of shampoo. She popped it open and
inhaled it with a sigh. That's when the phone
rang.

She turned and glared at the phone that was
situated right outside the shower just in case
someone was to call. However, that someone was
always the same person. Storm respected her
privacy, and didn't call that often. However,
there was her partner, who could not see the
thoughts going through her mind at the moment,
and therefore did not know how much trouble he
was in.

Scully set the bottle down at the edge of the tub
and pulled the shower curtain to one side. After
drying her hands, she reached for the phone.
"Mulder, what do you want?"

"Hey, Scully, how did you know it was me?"
Mulder's voice sounded far too cheerful for
Scully's mental well-being.

"Who else would call me at after 10:00 at night?"

"Oh, I guess you do have a point there, Scully.
Listen, I found this case that we can start on
Monday, and I was just going to tell you about
what it was about so we can get together, y'know,
and plan a couple of theories..."

Scully grinned as an idea born of too many
mindnumbing hours watching television came to
her, and she responded, "Can't talk now, Mulder,
I'm washing my hair."

"What?"

"I'm washing my hair, Mulder. Talk to you
later," Scully hit the button to turn off the
cordless phone and set it back outside the
shower. Glancing down at the bottle of shampoo,
she lifted it and inhaled the scent of it again
before squeezing some of it into her hand and
went about washing her hair, laughing.

As she went about it, she felt kinda sorry about
what she'd done to Mulder. She really did like
spending time with him, and it wasn't exactly his
fault that her week hadn't gone smoothly. None
of them had expected to be caught in the middle
of some kind of cult who had beliefs that aliens
were going to come and take them back "Home" that
Mulder dug up. It had been hard on all of them.
Storm had half-joked that she would have to go
into serious therapy after that.

Truth be known, she did love the man, and he knew
it. They had been sleeping together in the
literal sense for about six months now, but it
had never gone beyond that yet. Yet. That was
the important word in that statement. They were
bound by something deeper than most lovers know,
and also by fear, the one thing that kept them
from moving forward with this...

It was then that she heard a vague sound over the
running water, and she tensed instantaneously. It
sounded something like a door closing. Who would
be here at this time of night? When the door to
her bathroom opened and she held the bottle of
Herbal Essences shampoo like a weapon, she found
out who it was.

"Hey, Scully, why didn't you tell me you used
Herbal Essences?"

Scully sighed and put the bottle down, "Because I
didn't feel the information was something you
needed to know. Mulder, what are you doing
here?"

"Well," he started, "I was more than halfway to
your apartment by the time you told me not to
bother because you were 'washing your hair,'" he
exaggerated the words she had spoken by speaking
in a more higher pitched voice than usual.

She wrinkled her nose in response, though he
could not yet see her. Then he wrenched the
curtain to one side and she shrieked, "Mulder,
what are you doing?"

"I'm just looking at you, Scully," Mulder teased.
"I'm your best friend. Surely you don't mind me
looking... do you?"

"No, of course not," Scully straightened her
spine and smiled her sweetest smile. "Look all
you want... but close the damned curtain first!"

"Are you coming on to me, Scully?" Mulder
grinned.

"Why don't you get in here and find out, Mulder?"
Scully teased, peeking around the curtain as she
pulled it shut. She didn't really expect him to
take her seriously.

The cold air hitting her wet skin surprised her
as she didn't notice the curtain creeping open
until it was too late. She felt Mulder's hands
on her bare shoulders and gasped. He moved his
nose to her hair and inhaled before reaching for
the bottle she was using himself.

"Mulder, what are you doing?"

"You already asked me that, Scully. What does it
look like?" he grinned. She knew he was grinning.
She could *feel* it. "I'm... washing my hair."

"You use Herbal Essences?"

"You mean you didn't notice, Scully? I thought
it would make me more sexy and appealing to the
women."

"No, I didn't notice, Mulder," she smiled to
herself. She had, but she'd never admit it to
him. Come to think of it, it was after she'd
started using the stuff herself that she'd
noticed it.

"Oh, I'm so disappointed..." Scully turned to
face him as he rinsed his hair. She gave him a
very thorough look, and smirked. She had a very
good view from where she was standing.

"What are you looking at, Scully?"

"What do you think I'm looking at?"

"Me?"

"Maybe."

"Do you like what you see?"

"Maybe."

"Come on, Scully, you trust me, don't you?"
Mulder whined at her, and her only response was
another smirk. This was getting to be a lot of
fun.

She tilted her head to one side and grinned.
"I guess."

"You guess? Scully, this conversation isn't
helping my self-esteem any."

"Mulder, you are in my shower. You're the one
who started this conversation. Maybe you
shouldn't have started this if your self-esteem
is so fragile," she teased him slightly.

"Oh, c'mon, Scully, you know I love you."

"Hmm, seems like that's the first time I've heard
those words pass your lips. I think I'd like to
hear them again."

"Why don't you get over here and I'll show you?"

"Oh, so you're going to show me, now," Scully
grinned.

She gave him another look, and noticed that a
certain part of his anatomy was definitely
showing her what he had to offer, and she smirked
again. The thought that hanging around Storm too
much was slowly becoming bad for her emotional
well-being flashed through her mind, but then it
was lost.

He grabbed her by her hips and pulled her against
him as soon as she got within arm's length of
him. Then he lowered his mouth to hers and
kissed her.

As soon as the both of them realized that they
needed to come up for air, they broke apart,
laughing. Scully leered as she reached down and
cupped him, "Oh, Agent Mulder, it's nice to see
that you didn't drop your gun. I mean, the one
that really counts." His response was only a
moan.

"Hey, Scully..."

She tilted her head back and sighed as the
now-cool water from the shower head splattered on
her face. "Hmm?"

"Don't you think we should get out of here?"

"But I never finished my shower, Mulder."

"Oh, I'll bathe you... later," he grinned at her.

Scully laughed as she leaned over him to turn the
shower off. Stopping for a little nibble on his
hip, she straightened again and smiled up at him.

"You're a dangerous woman, Dana Scully."

"And I know it."

Scully pushed the curtain to one side and climbed
out, standing before the full length mirror, and
hiding Mulder's condition as he got out of the
shower. There were clothes scattered everywhere.
In fact, she was very surprised that some of the
clothes didn't end up *in* the shower before he
did.

"Mulder, what am I going to do with you?"

"I have an idea," he grinned evilly, then nibbled
on her shoulder. She tilted her head to one
side.

"Mmmm..."

"Do you like that?"

"You have to ask?"

He chuckled, "No, I guess not."

"Mulder, you know, I do have a bedroom across the
hall."

"I know."

"Then why don't you take me into the bedroom,
Mulder? I don't exactly relish our first time
being on the floor of my bathroom."

"But there's a mirror in here."

"You mean you like to watch yourself in the
mirror?"

"Nah..." an evil grin crossed his face, "on the
other hand, however, I would like to watch you."

With a grin, Scully opened the door and dragged
him out of the bathroom, and into the comfortable
room that she'd called her bedroom for the past
five years, then she closed the door with a
little enigmatic smile on her lips, as though she
was closing the door against any audience they
might have. However, knowing the way their lives
have gone, it wouldn't have surprised her in the
slightest to find an audience of some kind
watching.

She turned to face her lover with a smile. He was
already laying on the bed, waiting for her, and
she could feel the silly banter that they'd
exchanged earlier starting to fade away. This was
serious. This was real. She crossed to him, and
he pulled her into his arms, rolling her beneath
him.

"Y'know, Scully, I've been wanting to do this for
a long time."

"Longer than I have? Mulder, that's not
possible."

"Oh, but it is, my dear Agent Scully, it is."

"How long?" she asked him, a hint of challenge in
her voice.

"First case."

"Gotcha beat. First sight."

"Damn."

"The glasses do it every time, Mulder."

"You fell in love with my glasses before you fell
in love with me? Scully, I'm shocked."

"You shouldn't be, Mulder. Those glasses drive
every woman in the office wild when you choose to
wear them."

"Hmm, including you?"

"Especially me. Mulder, will you shut that
beautiful mouth of yours and kiss me?"

He smiled, and leaned over and kissed her deeply.
Soon, Scully had her hands tangled in his hair,
encouraging him, and kissing him back with as
much passion as he was displaying.

After taking a breath for air, Scully rolled
Mulder beneath her and straddled his thighs as
she pressed her hands against his shoulders,
smiling down at him.

"Ooh, Scully, are you going to take advantage of
me?"

"I might," she whispered as she leaned in to
nibble on his earlobe. He shivered and she
smiled.

"Did you like that?"

"You have to ask? Scully, you know, speech is
not usually a requirement for this sort of
thing."

She moved over him again, engaging him in another
one of those steamy kisses before nibbling down
his neck to his chest. Then she stopped and
listened to her lover for a moment.

The words came slowly, "Enough with the foreplay.
Stop teasing me. Isn't five years long enough?"

"What are you talking about, Mulder? Five years?"

"We've been playing this game for five years.
End it or I will."

"Why don't we end it together?" Scully moved up
to where her face was level with his and entwined
her fingers with his. They engaged in another
deep kiss before Scully found the tables turned
once more.

"Now I've got you right where I want you."

"Oh, does this mean you're going to do something
about it?" Scully looked up at him with a weak
smile.

"I think you'll be the judge of that," Mulder
responded as he embedded himself deep within her
body. He held still for a moment, letting the
tension build before he started moving.

As he pushed them both closer to the edge, he
felt her thighs move up around his hips, locking
him in place, despite the fact that he wasn't
going anywhere.

He found himself watching her face as they drove
each other closer and closer to the edge. He
wanted to remember how she looked this first
time. The way her eyes glazed over as she tried
to maintain his gaze, the way her nails dug into
his shoulders, driving him closer to his own
climax, the way her mouth formed his name as she
came.

It didn't take much time for him to follow her,
although he only had breath to whisper her name
as he collaped against her.

After they finally came back to reality, and
moved to rest in each other's arms, Scully heard
Mulder whisper her name after he kissed her
gently, "Scully?"

"Yeah, Mulder?" she responded.

"That was a totally organic experience."

A soft smile crossed her face. "I have an idea,
Mulder."

"What's that?"

"Next time, let's try the body wash," she
chuckled and he agreed, pulled her close, and
they went to sleep.

* * * * *

The next morning, Scully untangled herself from
her lover's arms and made her way into the
bathroom. She seemed to recall everything being
sprawled across the bathroom as Mulder was across
her bed.

With a sigh, she shook her head at the chaos that
was the sign that Fox Mulder had invaded her life
and home. She started picking up the clothing
and trying to put them into some semblance of
order when she stopped, staring at one article of
clothing.

She picked it up and arched an eyebrow at it for
a moment before a slow grin crossed her face.
That man had intended for this to happen the
entire time...

He had been wearing a neon green g-string...

Scully shook her head and headed back into the
bedroom, laughing hysterically.

* * * * *

-End-