TITLE: T IS FOR TOKEN AUTHOR: DONNILEE E-MAIL: DONNILEE@SNET.NET RATING: NC-17 SPOILERS: 3 - little one. SUMMARY: Mulder gets jealous, gets drunk and The Gunmen decide to see if they can help fate along. DISCLAIMER: The characters of the Lone Gunmen, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and Walter Skinner, all belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting. If they belonged to me, I would make their love lives MUCH more interesting. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Valentine's Day Challenge from Kimpa: 1. Red silk sheets - Check! 1. The Gunman as Cupid - Check! 1. Peanut Butter sandwiches - Check! 1. A dead cell phone battery - Check! 1. White roses - Check! 1. Strawberry scented bubble bath/shower gel - Check! 1. Candle lit bubble bath - Check! 1. Mulderbation or Scullybation! - Check! WEBSTER'S NINTH NEW COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY to-ken \'to-ken\ n. [ME, fr. OE tacen, tacn sign, token; akin to OHG zehhan sign, GK deiknynai to show --- more at DICTION] (bef. 12c) 1 : an outward sign or expression 2 a : SYMBOL, EMBLEM b : an instance of a linguistic expression 3 : a distinguishing feature : CHARACTERISTIC 4 a : SOUVENIR, KEEPSAKE b : a small part of representing the whole, indication c : something given or shown as a guarantee (as of authority, right or identify 5 a : a piece resembling a coin issued as money by some person or body other than a de jure government b : a piece resembling a coin issued for use (as far fare on a bus) by a particular group on specified terms 6 : a token member of a group; esp : a token employee. syn - see SIGN -- by the same token : for the same reason. to-ken \adj. (1547) 1 : done or given as a token esp. in partial fulfillment of an obligation or engagement 2 a :MINIMAL, PERFUNCTORY <--resistance><--integration> b : serving or inteded to show absence of discrimination . INTRO (PG) THE LONE GUNMEN'S LAIR GUNMEN COMPUTER ARCHIVE FEBRUARY 15, 2001 It all started out very innocently. I swear. Mulder was so depressed and we were only trying to cheer him up. Somehow it got out of hand. Now, things getting out of hand is not unusual, when you consider that Frohike and Langley were in on this from the start. I tried to stop them. I really did. I told them it was a bad idea to meddle in the affairs of man vs. woman. But they were hell bent for leather. There was no deterring them from their path. And as usual, I figured I was better off going along for the ride, than sitting on the side-lines. I figured, as usual, that I might be able to prevent them from making any unfixable mistakes. As usual, I was wrong. This is Frohike and Langley we're talking about here. The good news is that this story has a happy ending. Love conquers all, yadda, yadda, yadda. But it was a near thing. Here's how it went down. Oh, by the way, my name is John F. Byers. And in my humble opinion, I was the only sane male in this whole mixed up affair. XXXXXXXXXX THE GUNMEN'S LAIR SOMEWHERE NEAR WASHINGTON, D.C. 2:00 AM - SATURDAY - FEBRUARY 10, 2001 BANG. BANG. BANG. Someone was making an awful racket, banging on the door, which at this hour could only mean one thing. Frohike, Langley and myself all stumbled out of our bedrooms at the same time, sleep weary and rubbing our eyes. Langley made his way to the door, peering into the eye piece of the surveillance camera that gave a view of the alleyway that led to our entrance. By his groan, I knew I wasn't wrong. It was Mulder. And he was drunk. Very drunk. He nearly fell inside over the threshold when Langley opened the door and wearily motioned him inside with his hand. Mulder nodded and then grabbed his head with both hands, apparently to stop the room from spinning and stumbled to the threadbare couch that sat along the back wall of the common room. I sighed and jerked my head toward the kitchen, indicating that I was going to make some coffee. If he was drunk, this was not going to be a short visit. You see, Fox Mulder, Special Agent with the FBI, rarely if ever drank. But when he did, he usually really tied one on. This was probably due to the fact that he had absolutely no tolerance for liquor due to his normal abstinence. There was only one thing that Special Agent Fox Mulder ever drank over ... Special Agent Dana Scully. Why on earth these two didn't just cut out all the bullshit and do the horizontal mambo, the naked pretzel, the sweaty hubba-hubba, was beyond anybody's ken. Even Frohike, who would probably be upset and throw up if it actually ever happened; even he couldn't understand it. It was so obvious that they were in love with each other. However, being a certified paranoiac, I understood their hesitation. There were enemies out there that watched their every move. There was a shadow government just waiting for a reason to split them up. Why? Because they and everybody else knew that together, these two were dangerous to the machinations of a conspiracy so deep that it befuddled the mind. Separately, they were each brilliant in their own way, but together ... ah, together they were dynamite, in more ways than one. I often thought of a pair of scales when I saw them. One dark, one light, one tall, one short, one abstract, the other precise. They balanced each other in every way possible and did not share any shortcomings. Well, that's not true. They shared one. They were both emotional idiots. Now I don't say this lightly. I love both of them as dear friends. But they'd already been used against each other. Whether they were intimate or not, did not seem to make any difference. They loved each other and everybody knew it but them. So if you were in this position of being in love and having your heart ripped out if you were separated from your other half, regardless of the intimacy factor ... it didn't really make any sense to deny it. You might as well be getting some for your trouble. At least that 's the way I looked at it. I returned to the common room, knowing I had a ten minute wait for the coffee. I pulled my robe tightly around me and sat down on the sofa next to Mulder. Frohike was plying his forehead with a wet wash cloth and Mulder was batting at his hand like cranky child. Langley stood shaking his head as if Mulder were the most pathetic creature he'd ever seen. Now pity from Langley can be a humiliating thing in and of itself. I mean, just look at the guy. You have to go some to find yourself in worse shape than him. Anyway, Frohike finally gave up and tossed the wash cloth over the arm of the sofa, sighed and sat on the ottoman we had there for kicking back. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited. Langley pulled up a chair and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands under his chin. I folded my hands in my lap, turning to face Mulder's side. We sat in silence for at least five minutes waiting for Mulder to spill. He would spill when he was ready and not before. But it was serious or he wouldn't be here. And he wouldn't be drunk. The man fairly reeked of alcohol. I think it was oozing out of his pours. He was going to be hating life in the morning. After about five minutes of silence, I decided he wasn't going to talk and maybe we should suggest that he sleep this off first. Just then, he finally spoke. "I thiinnkkk, I fine..ly lost her. I'm a cowwwaardd. I WAAAIIITED TOOOOOO LONG! And I lost her!" We all smiled at each other surreptitiously, having our knowledge that this could only be about Dana Scully confirmed. Oh, this was going to be a long night. PART 1 (PG-13) J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING BASEMENT OFFICE FRIDAY FEBRUARY 9, 2001 5:00 PM I sat watching my partner cram things into her briefcase in an attempt to pack up and leave for the day. It had been a boring day of doing paperwork and near the end, Skinner had handed us a file involving victims found drained of blood. We'd seen this before in the ensanguined cow case. But I'd also seen it on the vampire case when Scully was missing. I had immediately pulled the files to do a 'compare and contrast.' "Hey Scully, how about we get together later and go over these two files that match the one we're working on now? We could do pizza and beers. I'll buy!" "Oh, Mulder, I'm sorry, I can't. I have plans." "Plans?" "Yeah, I promised my friend that I would go the fund raiser at the D.C. Hilton for the American Cancer Society." "Your friend does volunteer work for the American Cancer Society?" "No, he works for them. He's the Executive Director of the D.C. branch, as a matter of fact." "He?" "Yeah, Stuart Peebles." "Peebles?" "Yeah. Why do you know that name?" "No." I wondered if I sounded as dejected as I sounded. Scully was going out with someone else. He was a friend, a male friend. Shit! Why did my gut twist every time I thought of her spending time with another man. I had to get over this shit. I couldn't have her. She was my partner, my colleague, my best friend. Why should I care if she had a date? Why should I care if she had a boyfriend? But I did care. I cared a lot. And it ate me up from the inside out. I must have sounded dejected because she turned to look at me, pausing in her fast flight to pack up and peered at me curiously. "What's the matter, Mulder?" "Nothing." I knew I sounded like a little kid. "Don't give me that, what is it?" "Nothing, Scully, go to your party and have a good time." "I doubt it will really be a good time, Mulder. It will be a bunch of socialites patting themselves on the back for donating their 'extra' money to a philanthropic cause, each trying to outdo the other. But that competition is a good thing for the Society. At least that was what Stuart said. It makes the donations go up!" "At least that's what Stuart says," I mumbled under my breath, already knowing I was being petulant for no reason. Who was this guy? Had they been friends a long time? Was she interested in him? "What was that, Mulder?" Now she sounded irritated. "Nothing." "Are you upset that I can't spend tonight with you going over this case?" "No! Sort of ... I don't know." "I'm sorry, Mulder. We can get together tomorrow if you want. Make it the afternoon though, cause I'll probably be out late and sleep late too." I hung my head, wondering what that implied. How late did this thing go? Or did that mean that she would be inviting him to her place afterwards? My stomach turned at that thought. Scully up all night with another man. Shit. I stood abruptly and grabbed my briefcase, shoving the files into it. "No, I don't want to get together tomorrow, Scully, I wanted to get together tonight. As a matter of fact, I have plans for tomorrow. Just forget it, I'll take these home and I'll work this one up by myself, thank you very much. I'll see you on Monday. Have a wonderful time with ... with Steven, Stefan, with?" "Stuart," she supplied sourly. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." I practically ran out of the office, feeling like a first class heel. My trying to make her feel guilty was totally out of line. It was the weekend after all and we couldn't go anywhere on this case until Monday anyway. And telling her I had plans was an out and out right lie. I instantly felt contrite about that. I hated to lie to Scully. XXXXXXXXXX J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING BASEMENT OFFICE FRIDAY FEBRUARY 9, 2001 5:15 PM "What the hell was that all about?" I asked out loud to the empty office. I looked up at the fire alarm, wondering if there really was a camera or listening device in there. I was too short to reach it and check anyway, even with a ladder. "What do you think?" I asked the fire alarm. "Why is he acting like this? It's not like him to be upset like that when I can't come over." Then it hit me. Oh my God! He was upset that I was going out with Stuart! He was jealous! Could it be? I felt a warm tingle go down my spine. Then I burst out laughing. If he only knew! I slammed by briefcase shut and headed for the door, deciding I would call and tell him tomorrow all about Stuart. And I would go over and visit, maybe even go out to lunch with him. He was going to feel like a jerk when I told him. "Oh, Mulder, what an ass you can be sometimes," I said quietly. Then I felt a flash of anger. Why wouldn't he just ask about him and who he was? Or how we were friends? Or what kind of friends we were? Because then I'd want to know why he wanted to know. And ... He didn't want to tell me! Mulder had a proclivity for innuendo and sexual repartee that often took me by surprise. A raised eyebrow and a smirk were often the only crafty response I could come up with. But I watched and I knew what turned his head. Visions of the women that had floated in and out of his life passed through my mind. Phoebe. Diana. Bambi. Marita. That dumb chick in Kroner, Kansas, and Detective White. The list was almost endless. They were sometimes brunette, his favorite, I thought. But sometimes they were blonde. But without exception, they were tall and had big boobs. Could he be interested in me? No way! He was just being a territorial asshole. He had that syndrome men get where they think, 'I don't want her, but I don't want anyone else to have her either!' Well, screw you, Mulder, I thought. I deserved to have male attention every bit as much as you deserved to have female attention. I ignored the nagging sensation inside me that was trying to remind me of just how jealous I had been of each of those women. I wanted my partner. I'd admitted that a long time ago. He was attractive, funny, moody, mysterious, and passionate. Who wouldn't WANT him, if they had the chance? But I couldn't have him. He was my partner, my colleague, and my best friend. He said he had plans tomorrow. I wonder what they are. Why should I care if he had plans? Who were they with? Why should I care if he had a date or something? Why should I care if he had a girlfriend, even? But I did care. I cared a lot. And it ate me up from the inside out. Shit. I had to get over this. Deep breath, Dana Katherine. Chin up. You're going to do this favor for Stuart and you are going to do it well. And you will straighten things out with Mulder tomorrow. Valentine's Day was coming up next week. I couldn't help the wash of sadness that came over me when I thought about the fact that I didn't have a Valentine. Did Mulder have a Valentine? That thought made tears sting the back of my eyes and I shook my head at my own foolishness. What was it about that man that made me so nuts? I never knew what the hell to think or feel when I was around him sometimes. Work was great, we worked well together. My mother always said that you get what you give. I was his friend, but did I really know what was in his heart? Did he know what was in mine? Maybe that was it. Unless I was willing to draw the curtain open on my own heart, I could never expect to know his. I shook my head again. I didn't need to be thinking about this right now. I had a favor to pull off. XXXXXXXXXX OUTSIDE DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN - 7:30 PM I was a scum bag. I really was. I mean, here I was waiting in my car, a block away from her building with a full view of the front entrance. I was waiting for her to appear like some deranged stalker, hoping to get a look at Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Stuart Peebles. What the hell kind of a name is Peebles, anyway? I caught my breath when I saw her emerge from the front doors, and raised my binoculars to my face. Her hair was full and wavy around her head. She'd obviously spent some time on it. She was wearing a full- length black wool coat against the February chill. But it was hanging open and I can see the low cut, black slip of a dress she was wearing that ended above her knees. Three inch black, leather fuck-me pumps completed the outfit. The only jewelry she was wearing is her cross and a pair of pearl earrings. My mouth had suddenly gone dry and I felt my groin tighten and stir at the sight of her. Good lord, I'd never see her dressed this way. Then again, I'd never take her out. I'd never dated her and invited her a fancy restaurant or a gala fund raiser for some altruistic cause. No, I dragged her off to the ass end of nowhere to investigate weird phenomenon. And I never would take her out. She would never say yes. Valentine's Day was coming up next week. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a Valentine. Oh Scully, how I wish it could be you. I'd buy her a gift anyway, like I did every year. Always a token gift of chocolates or a single rose, as a token of my appreciation of our friendship. Maybe this year I should do more. Maybe I should invite her out to dinner for Valentine's Day. Maybe I should let the bomb drop on her pretty little head that I was in love her beyond any hope of retrieval. That way lay madness, I told myself as I saw a slick, black BMW pull up to the curb and a man jump out of the drivers' seat wearing a smile that showed brilliant white, straight teeth. He jogged around and scooped Dana up into his arms, planting a kiss on her cheek. I felt rage fly through every fiber of my being. SHE'S MINE! No she isn't, you asshole. She was clutching his biceps and looking up at him, a wide smile on her face. He turned and opened the car door for her, a perfect gentleman, from the tip of his polished wing tips to the top of his blonde curly hair. He slid behind the wheel, turned and said something to her that made her laugh and then put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb. Now I was a psychologist and I knew exactly how warped my behavior was, but I couldn't help myself. I pulled a U-turn and began to follow them through Georgetown and into D.C. I parked a block from the Hilton and walked to the hotel, knowing I was probably going to get my ass kicked if she saw me. I cautiously entered the lobby and saw her standing with 'Stuart' on the other side of the lobby, looking up at him, smiling. He was not as tall as me, but probably 5' 10" or so. I saw a man approach him and say something. His head whipped around. He had a scowl on his face that marred his perfect beach boy features. He said something curt, judging by the slash of his hand in the air, frowning even more. At that moment, Scully stepped into him from the side and wrapped her arms around his waist. I couldn't hear what she said into his handsome face, but his features transformed back into their smooth perfect lines. The man beside them was wearing a look of mute shock. Stuart dropped a short kiss onto her cherry red lips and nodded in the affirmative, obviously excusing himself from the other man and strolled away down the hall. My heart sunk to the area of my knees and I found it hard to breathe. I turned suddenly and caught Scully out of the corner of my eye. Damn, she'd seen me. I saw her mouth drop open around my name, which I read on her lips. I fled like an errant school-boy caught at a keg party. I jumped into my car and burned rubber as I peeled out and headed back to Arlington. I drove, not really knowing where I was going. My mind tumbled with images and conversations we'd had. I had a memory like an elephant. It came in handy sometimes, but sometimes it was a curse. Tonight it was a little of both. I KNOW that she never mentioned this man, as either a love interest or a friend. I know that for a fact. Given my feelings for her, I was always alert to any mention of a man in her life and I would have remembered. She'd never mentioned this guy. And now she was standing in a very public hotel lobby, seemingly unruffled that he had dropped a kiss on her lips. My heart raced and I felt the hot tears scud down my cheeks, unable to hold them back anymore. I'd blown it. I'd waited too long to tell her how I felt and now I'd missed my chance. She had a Valentine and now. And, as usual, I was going to be alone on V-Day, really completely alone. She was all I had left, and now, ... she was someone else's. I swiped angrily at my tears as I screeched to a halt in front of the Arlington Tavern. I didn't come here often but it was a nice, private place to drown your sorrows. And oh, tonight, I needed to forget. I really needed to shut off the cascade memory that was deluging me with images of her smiles and flirtations over the years. I needed to forget. And if that meant I had to drink myself unconscious, then that was what I was going to do and damn the consequences. PART 2 (NC-17) THE GUNMEN'S LAIR FEBRUARY 10, 2001 2:10 PM Mulder was so drunk he didn't notice Langley stand up and switch on one of the many cameras that we had hooked up and ready to go in this place. It was the camera that viewed the couch. I glared at him and he merely raised his eyebrows. I shrugged, figuring I could erase it later. We did not need to immortalize Mulder's asinine behavior on tape. He went on to relate the entire story of Stuart Peebles and his stupid idea to follow her. He knew that she had seen him and he had fled. He'd spent the next four and half hours on a bar stool trying to drink himself into unconsciousness. But despair is a funny thing and it absorbs a lot of alcohol. He was still conscious, although barely. I didn't even want to know how he had managed to drive here. Then he told us he'd taken a cab. Well, thank God for that. I plied him with coffee and listened to him recite the part about watching her being kissed and her smiling about it, the whole thing blow for blow. Now he was sitting forward, his head in his hands, sobbing, rocking back and forth like some deranged mental patient. I was really worried about him this time. I mean, they'd both had run ins with members of the opposite sex, but he seemed convinced that this was it. She'd found her man and it was only a matter of time before he was out of the picture. She would want a 'normal' life with him, and she would leave the X-Files. He went on and on about how he couldn't give her the home and the 2.5 kids and the dog in the yard and how she deserved all that, ad infinitum until even I was ready to throw up. And I have a much larger tolerance for his bullshit than my two cohorts. They were both at the stage of rolling their eyes and sighing loudly, forgetting to even feign sympathy. Some help they were. I patted him on the back as he struggled to control his sobs, sucking in noisy lungfuls of air. "Listen, Mulder, I think you're doing an awful lot of projecting here, buddy. I mean, you are worrying about things that haven't even happened yet. And you don't know if they will." "YES I DO!" he howled and started crying again. I took a deep breath, praying for patience. "No," I said firmly. "You don't. Now look at me." He raised his head slowly, his eyes red-rimmed, his face blotchy, his hair doing a fair imitation of Woody Woodpecker. I squelched the impulse to laugh at his appearance. "And listen to me too." He nodded slowly, then put a hand on his stomach as though the maneuver had made him nauseous. Frohike asked, "Dude, are you going to hurl?" "No," he croaked out. But he didn't sound too convinced. Langley got up again and disappeared from the room. I continued. "Mulder, you need to ask her about this guy." "I can't!" "Why not? You're her friend, it's not unreasonable for you to ask if he's just a friend, or if he's something more." "I can't! 'Cause, 'cause, and if she says they are ... they are dating ... and I know she will! Then, then, ... I'll lose it Byers! I'll totally lose it. And I won't be able to be happy for her! And I should, but I won't ... I won't be able to lie, ... I won't be able to say I'm glad ..." He broke off and sucked in another breath. All the crying and two cups of coffee seemed to have sobered him up. I knew that was an illusion. He was just an alert drunk now, but at least he wasn't slurring his words anymore. "And she'll know." I shook my head slightly, unsure what to say. It was awfully hard to change Mulder's mind once he decided he was doomed. It was one of his most annoying character traits. He was self-destructive in the extreme, but never more so than when it came to the woman he loved. I said softly, "She'd know, Mulder. Would that be such a bad thing?" He stared at me like I'd grown another head. "Of course it would!" he nearly shouted. "Why?" "WHY?! I'm her partner for Christ's sake. I'm not SUPPOSED to .." "Supposed to, what? Mulder." He looked me right in the eye and said it for the first time ever, actually said the words. Langley had returned with a waste basket in deference to the hurling potential. He and Frohike both gasped when he uttered the next sentence. "I'm not supposed to love her." He hiccuped and then said. "I'm not supposed to love her ... more than my own life." I exchanged looks with my fellow Gunman, knowing that drunk or not, that was a big step for Mulder. He'd always sucked with emotions. For him to voice them, even to us was an amazing thing. Of course, the booze helped him along in voicing his emotions. So it wasn't that he was ignorant of how he felt about her and couldn't put a name to his feelings. He'd just been hiding them all this time. Poor bastard. I'm not sure if it was his frank declaration, or something else, but Langley and Frohike looked at each other and nodded. "What are you guys up to?" I immediately asked. They both smiled those mock innocent smiles at me and I knew we were all in trouble. They were going to try and help him. God help us all. XXXXXXXXXX DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT 12:00 AM - FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2001 "Do you want to come in for coffee, Stuart?" He shook his head. "No, Dana, it's late and I need to hit the rack." I smiled and nodded as I unlocked the door to my apartment. I turned to him and said, "I had a good time, I was almost surprised." He threw his head back and laughed. "You were fabulous, Dana. I don't know how to thank you. I mean, I knew you were great, but I never knew you were such an actress too. I may need to call on you again." I frowned then and cleared my throat. "I don't know if that will be possible, Stuart." He nodded, smiling sadly, but good-naturedly. "Is this going to screw things up with your partner?" "I don't know. Probably not. He saw us though, and he bolted." "What was he doing there?" I sighed. "I don't know." I waved him in and he stepped inside enough so I could close the door. "I think he followed us." Stuart raised his eyebrows, shaking his head. "He's got it bad, then." "What do you mean by that?!" I asked a little harshly. He chuckled. "God, so do you." "Stuart! What the hell are you talking about?" He sighed. "I've heard the way you talk about him, Dana. It's obvious to everyone but you that you're in love with him." "I AM NOT!" I exclaimed. "That's ridiculous...we're just really good friends ... and great partners ... and confidantes and ..." "And you're in love with him." It was a statement, not a question. I looked up at him, fighting the sudden moisture in my eyes. His voice was gentle and soft. "You should tell him, Dana." "I can't!" Did I really just admit that I was in love with Mulder. Yup, I'd just admitted it by not denying it. He smiled a sad smile. "Yes, you can. But you have to get over being a coward." "Coward! I am NOT a coward. It's just ... complicated ... so ... complicated." "I think you make it complicated. You love him. He loves you. Dana, friends don't obsess to the point where they follow the other person when they have a date. If his behavior tonight is any indication, he loves you too. Sounds pretty simple to me." "It's not, trust me. There's so much at stake." "Including your heart and your peace of mind." Another statement. "Don't do this to me, Stuart, not tonight." He nodded. "O.K., but think about it. How long can you go on like this, huh? You did me a favor tonight and I am forever in your debt. I think you saved my job tonight. So if you need something from me, all you have to do is ask. If you want me to talk to Mulder, I will." "No!" "O.K., then I give you permission to tell him about me." I know I looked slightly surprised at that. "I can?" "Of course. He doesn't really know me or anyone I work with, it wouldn't matter. And if it would smooth the sheets between you two, go ahead and tell him." "Stuart!" My tone was mock indignant. The thought of smoothing down sheets with Mulder was an image I didn't need right now. If I ever got Mulder on the sheets, I wouldn't want to be smoothing them down, I'd want to be messing them up. What the hell was I thinking?! I shook my head to clear it. "Good night, Stuart." "Thank you, Dana." "No problem, I hope it helped." He opened the door and stepped into the hall. I followed him to the door arch. He grabbed me in a quick hug and said, "I'm sure I won't have to worry about any more rumors for a long time to come! You were fabulous!" I chuckled and hugged him in return, disengaging and waving as he made his way down the hall. I closed the door and leaned my back against it, sighing loudly. Mulder followed me. God, that pissed me off! What the hell did he think he was doing? What the hell made him think he had the right? He didn't and he knew it. That's why he fled when I saw him. Damn him! I wanted to be furious, but somehow, all I could think was, 'Why? Why did he follow me? And what did it mean?' XXXXXXXXXX THE GUNMEN'S LAIR 11:00 AM- SATURDAY FEBRUARY 10, 2001 I think I finally crashed on the Gunmen's couch at about 3:00 AM, too tired and drunk to hold my head up anymore. They had spent the better part of an hour trying to convince me to tell Scully how I felt about her. AS IF! They just didn't understand. I had a sinking feeling in my gut that this was the end. I'd had the feeling before, but never this strong. She looked so happy with him, all smiles. She looked like she felt relaxed and ... safe. Yes, she looked like she felt safe. That was one thing hanging out with me would never make her feel. I groaned as I rolled over, reaching for my head to prevent the top of it from blowing off and nearly toppled off the couch. This thing was like sleeping on the ground. I probably would have been better off on the floor. I glanced at one of the many clocks in residence in this room and realized I'd actually slept for eight hours. Well, I'd passed out for eight hours anyway. I sat up gingerly, groaning again at the wave of nausea that hit me. The faint smell of bacon hit me wafting in from the kitchen and it was all over. I lunged for the waste basket and lost about a gallon of diet coke mixed liberally with C&C. The stink! Langley bounced into the room, all smiles and cheery, pissing me off instantly. "Dude!" he exclaimed. "That's raunchy!" I grabbed the wash cloth I saw lying on the arm of the couch and wiped my mouth with it. I stood gingerly and staggered to the bathroom, passing Frohike in the hall, wearing nothing but boxer shorts. If I wasn't sick already, that would have done it. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and prayed to the porcelain god for another five minutes or so. I stripped and jumped in their shower, feeling markedly better when I emerged except for the thumping headache I had. I made my way into the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar on one of the stools. I was getting good at perching on stools these days. Byers calmly slid a piece of toast and one scrambled egg in front of me. I scowled at him. "Try to eat it, Mulder. It will make you feel better." "Got any aspirin?" I croaked, alarmed at how gravel my voice was. I remembered crying quite a bit last night. He went to the cupboard and calmly returned, flicking three aspirin out of a giant family sized bottle and plunking them down on the counter next to me. He went to the sink and returned with a small glass of water. I sucked down the aspirin and looked at him again, taking a small bite of egg. My stomach rebelled immediately and I pushed it away. "Try Mulder." I looked at it and grabbed the toast, carefully nibbling on the nearly burnt offering. O.K., this was going a little better. I could do this. He nodded as if satisfied. I asked, "How embarrassed do I need to be?" "About last night?" I nodded. "How much do you remember?" "Most of it, but parts are blurry. I remember crying. I remember telling you I fucked up and followed her." He nodded. "Do you remember saying how you felt?" "How I felt?" "About her." I stared at him. I remembered saying I wasn't supposed to be in love with her. But I honestly didn't know if I had just thought it, dreamt it or if I had actually said it out loud. Oh Christ! "What did I say?" My voice was barely above a whisper. He arched a well manicured eyebrow and pursed his lips. Byers was the one I knew would be the most honest with me and give me the least shit so I figured he was the one to ask if I had any questions about my behavior. "I tried to tell you that you should tell her how you felt about her. I've known how you felt about her for years." I scowled at him. "And how's that, Byers?" He was unruffled by my nasty tone. "You're in love with her, Mulder. Everybody knows it. Except her, obviously. And last night, you said you loved her." I hung my head, feeling suddenly short of breath. Hearing the words out loud, even from someone else's mouth made them so real and so much sharper. He continued, "You said you weren't supposed to love her. But you did love her, more than your own life." I groaned and let my head sink down onto the cold Formica of the breakfast bar. "Oh God!" I felt his hand on my back. "It's O.K., Mulder. We already knew it." I lifted my head up too quickly and nearly spun off the stool. Byers steadied me. "Easy, Mulder." I gasped. "Damn it!" I gritted my teeth. I didn't even know what I was cursing at. Byers nodded as though he understood. I was glad one of us did. "I'm sorry, Byers, I shouldn't have come here last night." "Don't be sorry. What are friends for? If you can't come to us, who can you come to?" "Yeah, but I usually come to you for technical assistance." He grinned and said, "We are useful for other things as well, you know, Mulder? We are your friends, after all." I nodded, gently this time, aware of the delicate state of the contents of my skull. I forced the rest of the toast down and a cup of coffee. I felt better although I still had a headache. I stood gingerly and gestured to my clothes. "I have to go home and get into some clean clothes." "Maybe you should sleep some more," he suggested. I grunted. Langley and Frohike walked in, dressed now, thank god and sat in their respective seats. I vacated so Frohike had a place to sit. They lined up on their stools like the three stooges and regarded me as I stood on the opposite side of the counter. Byers looked at Langley and asked, "Where did you go so early this morning?" Frohike and Langley exchanged a look, then they all turned to stare at me. "What?" Frohike grinned. "You gonna call her today?" I hung my head. "I don't want to talk about this now." He gave me his best, 'tough shit' look. "You stumbled in here dead drunk, sobbed on our couch, pour your heart out and you don't expect us to give you some sort of response?" I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. "I'm sorry. I just don't feel too good right now. Could we do this later?" They all nodded and I waved good bye. I needed to go home and sink into a real bed. My head hurt too much to endure another couch. I hailed a cab and had it take me to the Tavern to pick up my car. XXXXXXXXXX DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT FEBRUARY 10, 2001 12:00 NOON - SATURDAY I dialed his number and let it ring 10 times. The prerecorded message telling me the cellular customer was not available sang into my ear for the third time today. I slammed the phone down in disgust. He wasn't answering his phone at home. He wasn't answering his cell. Damn him! Why did he have to be such a baby? Just then, the doorbell rang and I sprinted to the door, my heart hammering, thinking maybe he'd come over. My excitement crashed as I looked through the peephole to see a delivery boy standing there. I opened the door, signing for the long white box and retreated into the kitchen. Probably Stuart sending flowers for a thank you. That was so sweet of him. I opened the box and pushed aside the green tissue paper to find a dozen white roses. I lifted them gently and stuck my nose in them. I loved white roses. And they smelled so good, like all roses, just like raspberries. I grabbed a vase, cut the stems and arranged them in my crystal vase and set them on the kitchen table. I burrowed into the box until I found the card and yanked it open, smiling. Stuart was such a doll, he didn't have to do this. All the oxygen left the room as I read the card: "Can you forgive me? I'm sorry I was such an ass. Love, M" OH MY GOD! Mulder? Mulder sent me a dozen white roses? Did he even know they were my favorites? I swallowed hard and stuck the card in the little plastic holder that came for that and put it in with the flowers. Despite my best efforts to stay mad, I felt a smile creep across my face. Everything was going to be O.K. He wasn't hiding from me. I felt myself relax a bit, not having realized how tense I was about this whole thing. I had been more worried this little favor to Stuart would damage our friendship than I had been willing to admit. I should have known that Mulder, while he can be a total ass, usually apologizes later. But he'd never apologized like this. He was sending me a apology, a token to express his chagrin. How could I stay mad? I was pissed when I'd looked up and seen him in that hotel lobby. My anger was followed quickly by a wave of guilt that he had obviously seen me kissing Stuart. That had brought my anger back full force. Shit! Why should I have felt guilty? Christ, I hadn't cheated on him! He wasn't my boyfriend, just my partner. Just my partner. But the look of total betrayal and devastation I'd seen on his face had made me feel as though I'd done something wrong. I'd hurt him, that was for sure. I was just having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that my being with another man had hurt him at all, let alone as much as that look told me it had. My mind didn't want to believe what my heart was telling me. I'd taken a shower earlier, but I felt like talking a soak in the tub now, just to relax. I wandered into the bathroom and stripped naked, throwing my jeans and sweater on the toilet. I could wear them again when I got out. I ran a bath, and turned to the row of bottles on my counter. What did I want to use. Bubble bath was definitely in order. Ooo, the strawberry scented one! It wasn't roses raspberry, but close enough. I grabbed the bottle and dumped a generous amount in to the rising water, watching it froth up into hearty suds. I saw a candle on the back of my toilet, shrugged and went to the all closet to get some more. No one else was going to, I might as well romance myself. I returned and lit the six candles, placing them on every flat surface. I sank into the warm water, sighing in relief. I washed slowly, carefully shaving my legs and arm pits. I'd just finished my period so it was time for the monthly breast exam. I lifted my arm over my head and proceeded to run my fingers all around my breast in ever tightening circles, feeling for lumps, pushing the nipple aside to feel underneath it. I repeated the procedure with the other breast. By the time I was done, my nipples were raised up into tight, hard little knobs. I slid my palm over them moaning softly at the tingling sensation that went straight to my crotch. Oh man, I really shouldn't be doing this. But I didn't have anywhere to be just now. I closed my eyes and laid my head back as I began to pinch and roll my nipples, feeling my labia swell and warmth pool in my abdomen. "Oh, yeah," I whispered. One hand wandered down and began circling my clit with hard darting motions that made my womb cringe. Visions of Mulder in various states of undress over the years began to flit across my mind like a slide show. God, those pecs, that sparse chest hair. The washboard abs, the well toned runner's thighs. And best of all, that tight muscular ass encased in silk boxers. Good God, what I wouldn't do for a handful of that! I moaned again as my arousal cranked up a notch and I slid two fingers inside, swirling them around my walls and pulling back to swipe at my clit. The candles flickered and sent shadows playing over the walls and water of the bathtub. I felt relaxed and so aroused. I continued to finger myself, rapidly increasing my pace. That, combined with the increasing pinching of my sensitive nipples and I felt the waves of my orgasm wash through me from my head to the tips of my toes. Much to my own embarrassment, his name slipped out on my groan as I rode out the spasms. "Muullddeerr! Oh God!" I sat in the hot water, panting and feeling a little faint. The combination of the steam and the orgasm having pushed my body beyond the reasonable temperature limit. I washed between my legs, hissing at how sensitive I was there after an orgasm. I laid back again and just soaked, my mind still whirling with visions of Mulder and wondering what he was doing right now. White roses. Yeah, everything was going to be O.K. I inhaled the scent of strawberries, watched the shadows dancing on the wall and thought about what this scene would be like if Mulder was actually here, sitting behind me in this gloriously warm water, his big erection pressing into my back. I moaned and shook my head. I didn't need to be getting excited again. I should feel guilty about fantasizing about my partner, but I just couldn't summon the chagrin. I smiled to myself and sighed loudly, sinking into the strawberry bubbles and inhaling deeply again. PART 3 (NC-17) SOMEWHERE IN ARLINGTON FOX MULDER'S CAR 12:00 NOON - SATURDAY FEBRUARY 10, 2001 I considered calling her several times and asking if I could come over there. But I was not in good shape. My stomach was rolling, my head ache was still torturing me and I needed to have a clear head when I talked to her. I didn't know if I could act happy and glad for her, but I resolved to try my best. I would casually ask about her ... 'date', and I would be a 'friend', one that was supposed to be happy for their friend when they found their mate. Oh God, I really didn't know if I could do it, but I had to try. Maybe I could call her and arrange to meet her later, after I'd had another six hour nap or so! I fished in the pocket of my leather bomber jacket and ripped out my cell phone. I flipped open the phone and groaned, flicking the button back and forth. Damn it! I'd left it on last night and now the battery was dead. Shit! Couldn't anything go right for me this weekend? I had no desire to go get a new battery right now either. I would just have to check my messages from home. Maybe it was fate intervening, trying to tell me I shouldn't call her right now. I threw it into the passenger seat with a disgusted grunt. I wonder if she'd tried to call me? I glanced at my watch. It was after noon. She would surely be up by now, even if she ... slept late. Oh God, please don't let her have spent the night with Blondie Boy. Please, please, please. I have to be a friend, but I honestly don't know if I can take this one. I nearly plowed through a red light and slammed on the brakes at the last minute, earning me blaring horns from the rear. I winced at the pounding in my head that this generated and then stepped on the accelerator again as the light turned green. I had to pay attention to driving and getting home in one piece, or I wasn't going to be meeting anyone. I navigated home finally, not really remembering half the trip due to my mind being elsewhere. I knew that was a bad sign. I was rarely so tuned out. I nearly staggered down my hallway and fought with my key, finally, shouldering the door open and hearing one the brass numbers fall off and hit the floor with a loud clang. I winced again and shut the door. Screw it. That was another thing I refused to deal with now. I would duct tape the thing later. I stripped on the way to the bed, leaving a trail of clothes and yanked the comforter over and slid into bed naked, feeling the cool silk sheets caress my skin. Ahhhh. Silk sheets? Silk SHEETS? What the fuck?! I turned my head and switched on the bedside lamp, wincing at the light now flooding the room and stared at the sheets. They were red silk. Where the hell did they come from? Red silk pillow cases and red silk sheets. What was going on? I had blue flannel on this bed the last time I checked. I hadn't slept in here in a while but I distinctly remember blue flannel sheets. I know I didn't own these. I rolled over and pulled the extra pillow to my face, inhaling the scent wafting off the sheets. Holy shit, they smelled like Scully's perfume! I moaned as I felt myself stiffen merely from the smell of her. Who put these here? Who had a key to my apartment? My brain went on pause for a second and I thought, 'Scully has a key to my apartment. Red sheets, Valentine's Day ... no way! Not possible. I glanced down to replace the pillow and saw a tiny white card lying on the bed underneath where the pillow had been. I picked it up gently, almost afraid to look inside. I carefully pulled out the little card and gasped at the words written there. "Don't worry about last night. I'm not mad. Call me. Love S-" Love S? Scully? OH MY GOD! Red silk sheets, red silk sheets. What the HELL DID THAT MEAN!? Scully, please, don't make me guess! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! I leaned over and turned out the light, flopping down on the bed. God these felt good. My sheets were all cotton or flannel. The feel of this stuff sliding over my chest and legs was exquisite. I reached down and grabbed my dick, now pulsing and hard, imagining Scully, naked and spread out beneath me ... on red silk sheets. Oh God have mercy. I pumped myself vigorously, opening my eyes to see myself splayed out under the sheets in the mirrors above my head. I brought my other hand into action on top of the sheets and reached down to cup my balls, sliding the silk over them. I closed my eyes, picturing Scully flushed, panting, her wet walls squeezing my aching dick. Oh shit. I was gonna come quickly. I let go for a few seconds, long enough to grab a few tissues off the shelf on my headboard and place them on my stomach. No sense in ruining these sheets first thing. Oh God, did this mean she wanted to sleep on them? Or was I reading into it? It didn't matter. Everything was going to be all right. She wasn't going to rip me a new asshole for spying on her last night. This was a peace offering, a token, an olive branch. And for now, I was going to read into it. I let my mind wander, imagining plunging my tongue between those full pouting lips and almost didn't make the move to catch my explosion of cum in the tissues as I cried out her name and bucked off the bed as I shook with the force of my orgasm. I lay panting, thinking that I felt totally dehydrated now. I should really get up an get some water. But I was too tired to move. I felt myself drooping into sleep and my last thought was, "God Scully, I'm so in love with you." XXXXXXXXXX THE GUNMEN'S LAIR FEBRUARY 10, 2001 SATURDAY - 1:00 PM "YOU DID WHAT?" I shouted. I rarely raised my voice like this but I was stunned at their audacity. They both looked at me, not sure whether to be amused or chagrined that I was so upset. "Do you have ANY idea how fucked up this could make things?" Langley shrugged. "Byers, come on buddy. It's not that bad. Judging by the shape Mulder was in last night, I'd have to say that things could hardly get worse for him." Frohike nodded. "I agree. And I don't care what he said, even if delicious Dana was out with a beach boy, we all know she loves Mulder. If she went out it was simply because she is tired of waiting for him to get his shit together. We just thought we'd give them a little push." "You're idiots, both of you. This could get his hopes up and she could kill the last spark of hope that he has if we are wrong. Did you ever think of that?" They looked chagrined now. Frohike protested again. "We KNOW Mulder loves her!" I looked at him harshly. "But do we really KNOW that she loves him?" Langley nodded curtly. "I know it." I raised an eyebrow in question at him. He chewed on his lower lip and then looked away from me. "I'm 99 per cent sure." I let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, the only thing left to do is call them and confess your sins before this is a total disaster." "NO!" They both shouted in unison. I took a deep breath, struggling for patience. "Guys, if you are going to play, then you have to be willing to face the consequences of your actions. You saw how close to the edge he was last night. We all know how self-destructive he can be. If she reacts badly, on top of what he saw last night, ... CHRIST! It could make him suicidal!" They both frowned then, obviously not having thought of that. Langley sighed. "I'll make the call. Should I invite both of them over here or what?" I stared at him for a moment. "No, call Mulder and tell him you'll pick him up. Then meet us at Scully's apartment after you talk to him. Tell him we need to talk to them both about something. I'll use the other line and call Scully and tell her to expect us." Frohike sighed and then turned away, muttering, "Shit!" XXXXXXXXXX DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT FEBRUARY 10, 2001 SATURDAY -1:30 PM I threw my robe on and rushed into the bedroom to get the phone. I hadn't realized how long I'd been in the bath. I dove across the bed and lunged for the phone, hoping it would be Mulder. "Scully!" I nearly shouted into the receiver, panting and out of breath. There was a pause and I asked, "Mulder?" "No, Scully, this is Byers." "Byers?" I tried to keep the sound of disappointment out of my voice, but he probably heard it. "Sorry to disturb you on a Saturday, but I really need to speak to you. Actually, we, all three of us need to speak to you. It's really important." I sighed ruefully. Shit, this was probably going to shoot the whole day in the head, but he sounded so serious. "What's up?" "Can we come over? I really don't want to talk about this on the phone." Oh God, the man looked like a yuppie but he was every bit as paranoid as the other two. I sighed. "I guess so. Are you coming over now?" "Yeah, if that's O.K." "Sure." I said, sounding as resigned as I felt. "I'm sorry, Scully, but it's important." "It's O.K., Byers, I just ... was hoping to hear from Mulder today." "I understand." No, I doubt you do, Byers. "O.K., see you in a bit. I'll put the coffee on." "Thanks. Until then." He hung up. I sighed again and got up and dressed in blue jeans and a light blue cardigan sweater that hugged my torso. It was soft and comfortable. I trudged into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. I returned to the living room and stared at the phone, willing it to ring. No such luck. XXXXXXXXXX FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT FEBRUARY 10, 2001 SATURDAY - 1:45PM The damn phone was ringing. Jesus! Couldn't I have any peace? I looked at the clock. 1:45PM. Oh joy, I'd gotten about a whole hour of sleep. I rolled over, groaning at the slight thump in my skull, and feeling like something had taken a dump in my mouth. I was dry as a bone. I licked my lips and lifted the receiver, feeling annoyed. Then I thought it might be Scully and tried to sound half way normal. "Mulder." "Mulder, Langley here." "What the fuck do you want?" Well, wasn't I cheery after they spent last night comforting me? "Sorry, dude, did I wake you?" "Of course you did, Langley, I'm suffering from the hang over of the century." "Sorry. Listen, something's come up and I'm going to come by and pick you up." "I'm really not up for going anywhere right now. I feel like shit." "You're going to want to do this, man." "What is it? Shit, Langley, I don't feel well!" "I know, but we need to go to Scully's apartment." "What?!" I nearly shouted and sat up quickly, immediately regretting the sudden movement as my head swam and my stomach turned over. "What's wrong? Is she O.K.?" There was a pause. "Langley, talk to me, damn it! Is Scully O.K.?" I could hear the panic in my voice and felt stupid, but I couldn't help it. He wasn't telling me something and it was making me nervous. I suddenly felt wide awake. "She's all right, Mulder, but we need to talk to you guys, all three of us need to see you...both." I sighed. "All right, but can't this wait?" "No, I'm sorry, man. You're going to have to trust me." The magic word. Damn. I swung my legs gingerly over the side of bed. "O.K., pick me up in a half an hour." "Cool. Thanks, man." "Whatever." I hung up and made my way gingerly to the bathroom. I needed another quick shower. That accomplished, I slipped into black jeans and sneakers and pulled a black turtleneck over my head. Black, that's the way I felt today. What the hell could be so important that they dragged me out of my hangover sick bed? Shit. I really wasn't up to this right now. And I wasn't up to seeing Scully either. I still didn't know if these sheets were just an olive branch, a token, because she knew I would be hiding from her after my asinine behavior last night, or if they meant something else. I no sooner tucked my shirt in when I heard the knock on the door. PART 4 (R ) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT FEBRUARY 10, 2001 SATURDAY - 2:30 PM The doorbell rang and I checked the peep hole, even knowing that it was going to be the guys. Opening the door, I looked around the corner when I saw only Byers and Frohike. I raised an eyebrow, "Langley?" The shuffled by me into the living room. Frohike was carrying a small paper bag. Byers turned and sighed as though world weary. "What is it?" I asked. Frohike spoke up. "Langley went to fetch Mulder." I opened my mouth but then shut it again. They had no idea about last night and therefore, had no idea of the tension that was elevating between us since last night. On my end at least. No need to enlighten them. I wasn't all together sure if I was ready to see him yet. "Oh, O.K." That was all I could think of to say. Really clever. "Coffee?" They both nodded and made themselves comfortable on the couch while I fetched two mugs and filled them. I returned to the living room, handing them the mugs and sat in a chair adjacent to the couch, folding my hands in my lap. "So." "So," Frohike began. Byers cleared his throat. I asked, "Did you want to wait for Langley and Mulder?" Byers shook his head. "No, we need to prepare you first." "Prepare me, for what?" Byers finally looked me in the eye. "It started last night, Scully. Mulder came to our place at about 1:00 in the morning." I tried to stifle the little gasp that escaped. Oh shit! Had he told them what he'd done? Byers must have seen the look on my face. Because he nodded as though reading my question. "He was drunk, Scully. Really drunk. I'd never seen anyone so drunk and still conscious." "Oh shit," I muttered. Frohike chuckled. "Oh shit doesn't begin to describe it." I looked between the two of them. "Are one of you going to tell me what happened?" Frohike grinned. "Can you stand the sight of me in boxers?" "Excuse me?" He waved the paper bag in the air. I scrunched my eyebrows having no idea what he was talking about until he pulled the video tape out of the bag. "You recorded yourselves?" I asked incredulously. Byers piped up. "I was going to erase it afterwards. Langley turned it on. Just call him sadistic. He couldn't resist having a drunken Mulder on tape to bribe him with later. That was before he knew what was going to be said. Then I found out what these those two boneheads did and I figured it was easier than trying to explain this." I steeled myself and nodded. Frohike stood and went to the television, turning it on and popping the tape in. It came into focus, showing the common area of the Gunmen's place. They were situated in a circle around Mulder. He looked like shit, not that I expected different. The first words out of his mouth made me gasp. "I thiinnkkk, I fine..ly lost her. I'm a cowwwaardd. I WAAAIIITED TOOOOOO LONG! And I lost her!" We sat in mute silence as the tape played out. Mulder's slurring words of contrition about following me, even though he knew it was wrong. How he saw me kiss Stuart and felt like he'd had his heart ripped out. Jesus Mulder! I listened to Byers trying to convince him to tell me how he felt, wondering what the hell he was talking about, but feeling hope flare in my chest. I was red as a beet with embarrassment but couldn't take my eyes off the tape. Then my world was rocked by his last words before the tape went to snow. "WHY?! I'm her partner for Christ's sake! I'm not SUPPOSED to .." "Supposed to, what? Mulder." "I'm not supposed to love her." He hiccuped and then said. "I'm not supposed to love her ... more than my own life." I put my head in my hands trying to control the tears that wanted to spring out of my eyes. I heard Frohike rising to remove the tape and turning off the television. I heard him sit back down. They were silent except for sipping their coffees, waiting for me to say something. Oh God, the look on his face had been so raw and so naked, so ... ravished and devastated. They respectfully waited quite a few minutes until I was able to raise my head and look them in the face. I must have looked as stunned as I felt because they both set their mugs on the coffee table and sat up straight as though ready to lunge for me should I fall out of my chair. I opened my mouth and shut it again several times, not really knowing what to say. I finally managed to croak out. "What the hell?" Frohike slid off the couch onto his knees in front of me, taking my hands carefully in his own, as if I might bolt like a frightened rabbit. He looked at me. "Now it's time for my confession." "Don't tell me there's more?" I tried to smile but it fell flat. He nodded and looked me in the eye. "Langley and I felt so bad for him and we ... we assumed something a long time ago, that maybe we shouldn't have." "What the hell are you talking about, Frohike? Get to the point!" I know I sounded like a shrew but I couldn't help it. My feelings were so close to the surface and I was feeling the strain of hiding them in front of these two. Byers was quiet all this time, but nodded sternly at Frohike, like a disappointed parent when Frohike looked at him over his shoulder. Frohike turned back to me. "We knew that Mulder was in love with you a long time ago." "Why didn't you say anything?" He looked at me as if to say, 'you're kidding, right?' I nodded in acknowledgement. "It wasn't any of our business, Scully. But we also thought we knew ... or we assumed ... that you were in love with him too." The incredulous look on my face made him wince. "What gave you that idea?" He blinked and swallowed hard. "The way you are with him. The way you look at him, let him invade your personal space. You don't let anyone else do that." "And from that you concluded that I'm in love with Mulder?" I was trying to keep my voice level, but not really succeeding. "Not just that. The things you have done for him. Above and beyond the call of duty, you've risked life and limb to save him." "He's my partner! That's what partners do!" "Oh bullshit, Dana!" he nearly shouted. I sat back abruptly in my chair. Frohike had never sworn at me like that. He scrambled to take my hands that I had ripped away and I slapped at them. He sighed and sat back on his heels, lifting himself and resettling on the couch. "I'm sorry, Scully. It just makes me furious when two people who so obviously love each other won't admit it. There are people in the world who spend their whole lives looking for someone, anyone, to love them. The muscles at the side of his mouth twitched downward and I realized he was talking about himself. I instantly felt guilty about my reaction. He was obviously trying to help in his own twisted way. "I'm sorry too, Frohike." He turned to me again. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are, Dana?" He was calling me Dana now. This was serious. He continued. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a brilliant, sensitive man like Mulder so completely in love with you that he can't see straight?" This was said softly but with so much feeling I was helpless not to react and felt the tears sting the back of my eyes. It was rare to see Frohike this way, with the walls down, the humor tucked away, serious and intense. I nodded. He shook his head. "I don't think you do, Dana. I don't think you have any idea how lucky you are. And you know what? I do think he knows how lucky he is. He knows how lucky he is to have you as a partner and a friend. He knows you should have been long gone a long time ago. But he needs you now and he won't risk losing you by declaring his feelings for you that you might not return." He paused. "I know you return them." I opened my mouth on the automatic defense and denial, but then saw the look on his face and shut my mouth again. He nodded. "So...Langley and I decided to ... play ... Cupid, for lack of a better way to put it." My eyes went wide as I realized what he might be saying. "What did you tell him?" My heart had started to race with something very close to panic. "I didn't tell him anything. I sent you roses." He looked at the floor. I gasped, realizing what he was saying. "You sent the roses?" He nodded, still not looking at me. "And let me think they were from Mulder." It was a statement. He nodded again. "I'm sorry, Dana. I shouldn't have done it, but I swear I had good intentions at the time. I just didn't think it all the way through. I so wanted to help you two get past yourselves and stop being afraid." "I'm not afraid." Byers and Frohike both looked at me then like I was the biggest liar on the planet. I hung my head. "Maybe, I am," I conceded. Byers said, "I didn't know anything about this, I swear. I flipped when I found out, and insisted that we come over here and tell you before it got out of hand. But I do agree with this little troll on one thing." "Hey!" Frohike exclaimed in mock indignation. Byers smiled. "You two love each other and I think seven years is long enough to keep dicking around with each other's feelings. You are at the point now where virtually everything you do hurts one another. You're both my friends and I hate to watch that happening. And I know Langley's intentions were good too. But bottom line, it's none of our business." "Langley's intentions?" I asked, feeling another roll of my stomach. What now? Frohike looked at me again. "He went over to Mulder's apartment and put red silk sheets on his bed and left a note - from you." I moaned. "Oh God, Frohike! How could he?" He shook his head, obviously embarrassed. "The note just said you weren't mad about last night and to call you." "My God! What would he think? Red silk sheets! Jesus!" He hung his head again. Byers licked his lips, looked at the ceiling as if for guidance and then back to me. "Langley went to get Mulder and explain his side of this little charade. Then, if he could still keep Mulder in the car and if he was still alive and breathing, we told him to bring him here. This way they could apologize to both of you and we would leave you two alone to work this out." I stared at him for a minute and then admitted, "I don't know if I'm ready to see him yet." Byers eyed me speculatively. "Will there ever be a good time, Scully? I mean, you can find excuses till the end of time not to deal with this, but the reality is that your partner is in love with you. That has to be resolved somehow, eventually, or one of you is going to spontaneously combust and do something really stupid and harmful. I don't know who this guy was you went out with last night or what he means to you." I opened my mouth but he held up a hand. "But it doesn't matter. What I mean is the next time, Mulder might attack a guy if he sees him touching you. This insane behavior is only going to escalate. You know how self- destructive he can be." I sighed, knowing he was right, but not sure what to do about it. Byers continued. "He needs to know how you feel, Dana. He needs to know one way or the other so that you can both move on with your lives. Not knowing and holding back is killing him, even if it's not killing you. And the next time he sees you with someone, if he doesn't beat the guy or shoot him, he might just eat the bullet himself." My eyes fixed on his face with a look of horror. "What the hell do you mean?" "I mean, Scully, that he loves you that much. And if he ever thinks that he's lost you completely to someone else, it wouldn't surprise me if he thought he had nothing to live for. I'm not telling you that to make you feel guilty or that you are responsible. That's just the way he is and nothing is going to change that, except maybe you ... IF you felt the same way. If not, he needs to know or he will never adjust his self destructive thinking and this will kill him one way or the other, quickly or slowly. And I just don't want either of you to hurt anymore." He meant it, every word. Sincerity was oozing from every pore. Shit! What now? I muttered that out loud. "What now?" Frohike looked at me. "Dana, tell me straight, please. Do you love him? I mean I know you love him as a friend. But are you ... IN love with him?" My mind raced over the conversation with Stuart last night and how it had been so obvious to him that I loved Mulder. And I hardly ever saw Stuart anymore. I'd as much as admitted it to him. Why was it so hard to admit to these guys. I was a hell of a lot closer to them. I looked away as all this tumbled through my head. Frohike said my name hesitantly, "Dana?" I returned my eyes to his. "Yes," I whispered. "I wish it weren't true sometimes, but ... yes, I do love him." He nodded as though he knew it all along and I guess he did. I had no time to recover from that admission when there was a knock on the door. Byers waved me back into my seat as I went to rise and he walked slowly to the door. He looked out the peep hole and I saw a flash of amusement cross his face. He opened the door and Mulder stormed in, Langley close behind. I gasped when I saw Langley. His glasses were taped together in the center with duct tape and his cheek was turning an ugly shade of purple. His lip was split and he sucked on it lightly, looking nervously around the room. Oh shit, Mulder! I stood up and made my way to Langley. Mulder followed me with his eyes. I turned and gave him a disapproving look. His eyes didn't waver from mine. He felt no guilt. I sighed. I turned back to Langley and nodded toward the hall. He followed me quietly, glancing nervously over his shoulder. I brought him into the bathroom, thankful for the distraction. I swabbed his lip and cheek with disinfectant and then went to the kitchen and came back out, handing him an ice pack for his eye. Mulder was standing watching Frohike and Byers on the couch with a scowl marring his handsome features. I knew he must have a hang over, he never was much of a drinker and by the looks of that tape, he'd never been drunker. And yet, other than a little dry eye and a pain line on his brow from a headache, he looked just like himself, ... good enough to eat. He was wearing my favorite black jeans and a black turtleneck. He looked like some lanky ninja in that outfit and I almost grinned, suppressing it at the last moment as I realized why they were all here. Mulder nearly growled at Frohike. "Frohike, what the fuck!?" He paused. "What the FUCK did you think you were doing?" Frohike held his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, Mulder, I really am. I've already apologized to Scully and now I will to you too. I'm sorry man! We never should have interfered!" Mulder strode over to him, swiping the end of my coffee table out of the way, nearly upending the coffee mugs sitting there. Byers saved the day again, lunging for them and setting them down again when the table came to a halt. Mulder stood in front of Frohike and when he went to rise, Mulder shoved him back down into the couch. "Mulder!" I exclaimed. He glanced at me and then returned to staring Frohike down. His voice a deadly growl that I usually only heard when he was about to shoot a particularly vile suspect. "You're damn right you shouldn't have interfered!" He was yelling now. "I know I came to you guys last night, but I came there because I was hurting!" He glanced at me, but went immediately back to Frohike. "I was there because I THOUGHT I could TRUST you!" "You can!" Frohike whined. "NO, OBVIOUSLY, I CAN'T. I can't trust you to keep your nose where it belongs. I can't trust you not to break my confidence. I can't trust you to just be a friend and not interfere in my business." "I'm so sorry, Mulder! I really am. It will never happen again, I swear!" Frohike was beginning to panic. Mulder did look rather menacing the way he was towering over him. I actually felt sorry for him and did think Mulder was being harsh with him. He had fucked up but he had been trying to help in his own twisted way. "You're right. It won't happen again, because I'm never coming to you with anything ever again." "You can't mean that?!" Mulder just stared at him for a couple of seconds, an ugly twist to his lips. "Oh, I mean it all right. The way I handle my relationship with Scully may be fucked up. But it's MY way, and it's MY decision how to handle it. I don't need people sneaking around my back and making me believe things that aren't true!" He ground his teeth together and I swear I saw his eyes swim with moisture. He looked back at Frohike, his voice raspy and low now, but he wasn't shouting. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts to feel hope, Frohike? Huh? Do you have any idea how much it hurts to feel hope and then have that hope ripped away from you?! Huh? That was just fucking cruel what you two did. Just cruel." He turned away and without looking at me, he headed down the hallway towards my bathroom. I stared at a stricken Frohike, who was making no attempt to stop the tears that were leaking down his face. I stood up and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. He's pissed now, but I'll talk to him." Frohike nodded at me. "I'm so sorry, Dana." He stood up awkwardly and then looked totally surprised when I wrapped my arms around him and rocked him gently. He hiccuped and put his arms around my back. I said, "It will be O.K., I promise." He nodded and sniffled and then disengaged from my embrace. He looked at me and whispered, "Thanks for trying anyway, Dana. Please try. I don't want to lose him as a friend." "I know Frohike, I'll talk to him." I looked at Langley. "I'm sorry, Langley. He shouldn't have hit you." "I deserved it," he mumbled around his broken lip. I winced. God it hurt just to look at it. I looked at Byers. "Well, I think you better take these two home and keep them out of trouble for a couple of days. What do you think?" He smiled a mirthless smile and nodded his head, standing and heading for the door. "Come on, guys, we've done enough damage here for now." They shuffled out the door behind Byers and I closed the door behind them. I spun around and leaned my back on the door, gripping the door knob. Shit! How did such a simple gesture on their part get so messed up. I took a deep breath, steeling myself. I had to talk to him about the guys and make him see that they were only trying to help, no matter how misguided they were. They loved Mulder. And especially Frohike, he would be crushed if this ended their friendship. He would never forgive himself. But first, we had to settle things between us. What the hell was I going to say? Now I'd admitted it to Byers and Frohike and Stuart. I was in love with my partner. Christ, I'd admitted it to everyone but him! He'd said his hope was ripped away from him. The sheets, they'd given him hope that I wasn't mad? Hope that we were O.K.? Hope that I wanted more? I replayed that tape in my mind. Had they taken it with him? He'd really flip if he saw that. I darted to the coffee table but it was nowhere to be seen. Thank God, they'd taken it. I sighed and decided this wasn't going to get any easier if I waited. It was time I stopped being such a coward. I kept hearing his drunken confession in my head. 'I not supposed to love her ... love her more than my own life.' Oh God. He did, too, didn't he? He'd die for me in a heartbeat. How many women could say that about their mates? Mates? Was he my mate? He could be obviously, if I wanted him to be. He definitely loved me. But like everything he did that he cared about, he was obsessed with it. He was obsessed with me. Could I handle that? All that intensity was scary thing. Was I woman enough to carry the weight of that kind of obsession, that kind of devotion? If I thought about it though, what had I been doing for the last seven years? I went to the bathroom door and knocked lightly. No answer. I knocked again. "Mulder, open the door, please." No answer. I raised my voice a little. "Mulder, please! Talk to me! Damn it, I'm not going to bite you!" I heard his voice from the other side of the door. "It's open." I tried the door gently and it gave under the pressure. I swung it open and stepped inside. He was sitting on the floor, his back to the tub, his feet against the counter. His knees were raised and his head was nearly buried between his legs. I mimicked him and sat with my back to the counter cabinets and put my feet on the tub. I had to stretch my legs out straight though. He glanced at me and I saw his lips twitch at my attempt to mimic his position. He mumbled, "Can you even reach the tub with your feet, Scully?" I chuckled. "Just barely." I touched his leg and his head snapped up from between his arms which were wrapped around his legs. His eyes met mine and they held. He glanced at my hand on his leg and back again to my face. I snatched my hand away, suddenly uncomfortable. He looked away. "Mulder, we have to talk." He snorted. "No shit, huh?" I smiled at him, not sure what to say. "I'd rather do it on the couch or someplace a little more comfortable than my bathroom floor." He looked at me again and I could see the red rims around his eyes. I wasn't sure if that was from the hangover or from crying. He nodded and stood, extending a hand to me. I took it and he hoisted me to my feet. I followed him out to the living room where he sat on one end of the couch, his back braced against the armrest. "Want coffee?" I asked. He nodded. Once again, I retreated to the kitchen but this time I got myself some coffee. I returned and handed his to him and sat on the other end of the couch. He started when I sat my mug down and reached down to pick up his leg. He eyed me curiously as I untied his sneaker and pulled it off his heel. I repeated the process with the other foot. I gingerly raised his leg and placed it along the back of the couch, and followed it with the other one. His lips twitched but he went along and didn't say anything. I stretched my legs out on the side of his, mine on the outside. I wasn't ready for anything more forward just now but I wanted us both to be comfortable for this. "So," I began. He looked at me, obviously nervous and licked his lips. He took a sip of his coffee and set it down on the coffee table. "How much did they tell you?" I paused. There was no point in being circumspect at this point. "Everything." He nodded. "Great." His sarcasm was evident. "We'll talk about them later. Right now I want to talk about us." He nodded. "So talk. If they told you everything, there isn't much left for me to say." "It would be nice to hear it from you." He looked at me and then away. "I don't know if I can right now." I grunted in understanding. "O.K. Did they tell you I got roses?" "Yeah, Langley said Frohike sent roses." "They're beautiful." "And they weren't from me." "I know, but I think what's important here is what I felt when I thought they were from you." He looked at me again tentatively. "What did you feel?" "Relief." "Relief?" "Yeah, I thought you were sending an apology, a gesture. You know, a token to express that you knew you did something wrong and you wanted to ... apologize. As soon as I knew that you were sorry, I ... couldn't stay mad anymore. I felt like ... we were O.K., and everything was going to be all right, and I was ... relieved." He nodded. "What about the sheets?" I asked. He blushed but didn't say anything. He picked up his coffee again. "Mulder, what did you feel when you thought those sheets were from me?" His eyes darted back and forth between my face and some unknown point over my shoulder. "You don't want to know." "Yes, I do." He really looked at me then. "Are you sure?" "Yes." I said firmly, even though I could feel butterflies waking up in my stomach. What was he going to say? "I guess I can't really say anything more shocking than what they told you, can I?" "Maybe. You have a way of surprising me constantly." He chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I do. Too bad they aren't good surprises." "Sometimes they are." I tried to sound suggestive, but knew I hadn't quite pulled it off. He heard it though and snapped his eyes to mine again. He shook his head slightly. "Answer the question, Mulder." "I was excited. I also knew that everything was going to be O.K., that once again, you would probably forgive me for being unforgivably stupid." "So you were relieved also?" "Yes, and excited." "Excited?" He stared at me then and I saw the desire on his face. I'd never seen it before, not when he looked at me. I blushed furiously and couldn't maintain eye contact. "Very excited." I heard him chuckle softly. "I told you that you wouldn't want to know." I sucked in a breath and gathered my courage. "Yes I do. What were you thinking?" I forced myself to look at him again. He was obviously very uncomfortable now and put his coffee down again. "Scully, do we have to do this?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because I think we need to air all the dirty laundry so to speak. I think we need to clear the air and I think we have to both stop being cowards." He looked at me. "They told you I said I was a coward?" I nodded, not wanting him to know I'd seen him saying it on the tape. He swallowed. "I am." "No, Mulder, you are no more a coward than I am." "I am when it comes to you." "And I am when it comes to you." He looked away and said, "Byers said ... I should just ask you about Stuart. But I couldn't. Frankly, I didn't want to hear it. I was terrified." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I was sure I was losing you ... again." I reached over and laid my hand on his calf. His leg jerked at my touch but then settled back down. He looked at me again. "You weren't losing me, Mulder, not by a long shot." "I know I shouldn't have seen it, Scully. I shouldn't have been there, I shouldn't have followed you. And if I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have seen it. But I did." "Seen what?" "I saw you kiss him. Or him kiss you, whatever. And you smiled. God, your smile lit up that room. And I ... I felt like I'd been stabbed in the chest." This last part was whispered. He looked away again, resting his chin on the back of his fingers, trying not to get teary. "I wish you'd asked about Stuart." "Why?" This sounded petulant. "So I could torture myself?" I grinned even though he wasn't looking at me. "No, because if you had asked me about Stuart, I could have told you he was gay." That got his attention. His turned and stared me, his eyes wide. "What?" "He's gay, Mulder. He's a friend of mine from college, before med school when I was going for my bachelor's. He got this job after climbing the ladder in other non-profit organizations. He was always good at fund raising. Then he got the Executive Chair of the D.C. branch of the American Cancer Society. Big feather in his cap." "Why do I get the feeling there is more to this story." "There is. One of the old curmudgeons on the board of directors saw him somewhere in D.C., walking down the street with his arm around his significant other." "Oh boy." "Yeah, oh boy. And although they can't fire him for that, and although he lied and said it was his cousin, they began to try and make his life miserable." "I see." "You know what it's like to be persecuted just for being who you are. You should be able to understand the position he was in. They were giving him all the shit work, all the most difficult events, hoping he would make a mistake. They were overloading him with work and his staff was beginning to grumble. They couldn't fire him, but they were trying to make him quit, or make a mistake that they 'could' fire him for." "Shit." Mulder muttered. "Yeah, so he asked me to attend this big fund raiser with him. Lots of D.C. politicos were going to be there. He wanted to appear there with a woman on his arm and hopefully quell some of the rumors. He isn't ashamed of being gay, but he didn't want to lose his job either. So we figured a little creative deception wouldn't be a bad thing. Of course, it wasn't just the old people that were threatened by the possibility that he could be homosexual, there were a few young people as well. One of them was the guy you saw come up to him in the lobby." "I saw that, they obviously weren't fond of each other." "No, Stuart had warned me about him. He hit us almost first thing, not realizing I was standing behind Stuart. I don't even think he'd seen me there. He said something like, 'Good evening, Stu, which one of these studs in here is your date?'" "Ouch." "Yeah, so I slipped up and put my arms around him and said, 'Stu, darling, would you get me a drink, honey, I'm really thirsty.'" Mulder actually laughed at this point. I continued. "He said, sure honey, I'll be right back." He dropped a kiss on my lips and excused himself from the asshole and took off for the bar. I just grinned at that asshole and he asked me, "Who are you?" So I told him, "I'm Stuart's girlfriend, why?" His jaw dropped and he muttered something like, "No reason, oh shit." And he walked away. That's when I turned and saw you. I don't think we saw that guy for the rest of the evening. So whenever he got a look sideways from someone and I caught it, I would fawn on him. Believe me, it wasn't easy acting like a bubble-headed bauble on his arm, but I think we pulled it off nicely. We danced, had a nice dinner, listened to the speakers, including him. I actually had a nice time. "I'm glad," he said. I blinked at Mulder. "No, I really am glad you had a nice time, Scully. I would have wanted you to have a good time even if he was a real date. But I have to be honest, I wouldn't have been able to be happy about it." "I know. Which brings us to the other reason for this talk." "Which is?" "What are we going to do about it?" "The fact that I'm in love with you?" He looked away. "Nothing, I guess. Now you know. I don't want you to feel all weird about it or anything, but I know you probably will." "No, Mulder, I want to know what we are going to do about the fact that we are in love with EACH OTHER." I was proud of how even my voice sounded. His eyes were riveted on me now. He stared as his breathing quickened and he licked his lips. He closed his eyes and opened them again. His voice was just above a whisper, "What did you say?" I grinned, loving the look of total disbelief on his face. "You heard me." He just stared for a couple more seconds. "Scully?" His lips moved but no more words came out. I curled my legs up under me and raised up on my knees. He eyed me curiously, not quite willing to believe just yet what he had heard. It was a sort of round about way to make my admission, but it seemed to have worked. "Scully?" He asked again. I lifted his outside leg and moved his legs apart. He began to pant. "What?" he asked. I held a finger up to my lips. O.K., Dana Katherine. Time to see if you still have the stuff. I was nervous as hell. I also knew that he would never make the first move. I leaned over and put my hands on either side of his waist. I was on all fours now. I kept my eyes locked with his as I leaned forward and gently lowered myself onto his torso. Our hips connected a second before my breasts crushed into his chest. His eyes closed and the low, tortured groan that ripped out of the back of his throat had to be the most erotic sound I had ever heard. My nipples hardened and my crotch was awash with warm moisture. I felt him harden instantly against my belly and it was my turn to groan. We stayed just like that for several minutes until I finally got the courage to lift my head. He was staring at me like I was going to disappear any second now. I smiled at him. "Mulder, you should have asked me about Stuart. I would have told you anything you wanted to know, even if you were a jack ass about it." I paused. "No matter what else goes on, Mulder, we're best friends. You don't need to hide from me." He whispered, "I was so afraid. That's been my biggest fear for the longest time now." "What has?" "That you would find someone and fall in love with them. Then you would want a normal life, a nine to five job and you would leave me." "I couldn't leave you, Mulder. But even if I did leave the job, I could never leave our friendship." He gazed at me then, "I need you at work, Scully. I couldn't do it by myself anymore. And that's the main reason ... I never told you how I felt, because I thought ... I thought it would scare you away." I shook my head gently. "I guess you had no way of knowing different, but it wouldn't have. It would have and does scare the shit out of me. But it wouldn't have scared me away." His arms finally wrapped around my waist and tugged me gently against him. He hummed in the back of his throat and then said, "Scully, why do I scare you?" He sounded so lost. I laid my head gently on his chest and said, "Because Mulder, you do everything with such passion, such intensity. To have that directed at me is a bit overwhelming. I'm afraid that I won't ... measure up ... be able to keep up. I'm afraid I won't be able to put as much into this relationship emotionally as you do all the time. And I'm so afraid of disappointing you." He chuckled mirthlessly and I lifted my head off his chest. He was crying. "Scully, you could never disappoint me. Just having you with me, knowing I didn't lose you is so ... unbelievable to me." "I could never leave you, Mulder." He looked at me, his tears drying up. "Never say never, Scully." I shook my head. "This time I can. I could never leave you, Mulder, because I'm in love with you. Don't you understand?" He blinked rapidly and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Then he said, "No, Scully. I don't understand that ... at all!" I laughed, I couldn't help it. He looked so adorable, so confused and so frightened. I didn't imagine my laughter was doing anything for his insecurities, but this whole situation was suddenly striking me incredibly hilarious. We were both so 'backwards' when it came to expecting good things. I got my laughter under control as he smiled at me laughing, I knew, not really understanding what was so funny. "Oh, Mulder, we are such idiots!" He smiled wider. "We really need to work on this communication thing!" He started to chuckle now. It caused his erection to brush against me and we both stopped laughing abruptly and moaned. "Oh God, Mulder. I'm scared, but I want ... I want to try this." "This?" "Us, you and me. Can we try?" He nodded. "God, Scully!" His face went through several contortions, I think, trying to suppress more tears but I wasn't sure. My palms came up to caress his cheeks. I looked him in the eyes. "Now, no more secrets. Agreed?" He nodded. "You will ask me about anything you want to know about any of my friends. Agreed?" He nodded. "If we do this, Mulder, I have to warn you." "Warn me?" he asked innocently. "I'm a very difficult woman to deal with sometimes." "I already know that," he quipped cautiously. I laughed and he smiled at me again. "I'm even worse when I have a boyfriend." I stated this emphatically, trying to make my point. His eyes widened. "Boyfriend?" he asked, obviously thinking the word sounded weird. I grinned. "No more flirting with other women." "I don't ..." I gave him the eyebrow and a glare. He grinned, sucking one cheek into his mouth. "Deal," he said finally, obviously trying not to laugh now. "If I ask you about women in your life, past, present or future, you will answer my questions fully and honestly." He nodded. "Didn't think there would be so many ground rules, huh?" I quipped. He grinned. "Scully, I don't care if you write a relationship manifesto. If you agree to stay with me and ... be with me, you can have anything you want." "I don't want you to behave some way that makes you uncomfortable just because you think it will please me. If you are uncomfortable with anything I ask, then I want you to tell me why and we'll talk about it, O.K.?" He nodded again. "We need to talk more, Mulder." He nodded. Then said, "Scully?" "Yeah?" "Can I kiss you?" He asked calmly and out of the blue. He was obviously tired of talking already. I grinned. "In a second." He let out an exaggerated breath. I smiled. "One more thing. Tomorrow, you are going to call the guys." He scowled. I raised another eyebrow, the one that said, 'no argument.' He swallowed and went still. "You are going to apologize to Langley for hitting him. That was juvenile and no way to express your anger." He nodded, frowning. "And you are going to apologize to Frohike. He was only trying to help." "Scully, they betrayed my trust!" I shook my head. "No they didn't, Mulder. They didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Well, maybe they did, but they had your best interests and mine at heart. And try to look at it this way. What they did was impulsive and reckless and yes, it could have been a disaster. But it wasn't. We wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for what they did, would we?" "I guess you're right." "I know I'm right. And Mulder, neither of us has so many friends that we can afford not to forgive the ones we have." He seemed to think on this for a second and then said, "You're right. I'll call them tomorrow." I slipped a hand behind his neck and lowered my mouth to his. A hair's breath away I said, "Now you can kiss me." His fingers tunneled into my hair and he pulled my head to him. His mouth opened and his tongue licked my teeth and gums. I opened and his tongue slid inside, slow and deliberate, rolling my tongue and exploring the far reaches of my mouth and throat. I a shudder wash through me at finally feeling his lips on mine. He angled my head slightly and deepened the kiss yet again. Oh God. This was so intense. PART 5 (NC-17) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT FEBRUARY 10, 2001 SATURDAY - 5:30 PM I don't remember much for several minutes after I kissed her. The rest of the world disappeared and I began drowning my sense in all thing Scully. The feel of her soft, tiny body sprawled on my chest. The feel of her hips undulating against my hard on and driving me insane. The sound of the little mewling pleasure sounds that were coming from her throat. The smell of her, citrus and strawberries. I couldn't get enough. Air finally became essential, and I vaguely remember whining when she disengaged from me and stood up next to couch. I don't remember her saying anything but she may have. If she did I was too busy staring at her lips and wanting to attach myself to them again to hear her. I do remember grabbing the hand she stuck out and letting her lead me into the bedroom. It was like a dream, everything in slow motion. We undressed each other, kissing skin as it was exposed. I remember time speeding up for me when she let out a full throated groan following the first suck of her hardened nipple into my mouth. The harder I sucked, the louder and lower she groaned. I thought I must be hurting her with the amount of suction I was applying but she wasn't stopping me. I had laid her on the bed once we were naked and crawled between her legs. I'd attacked the second nipple, sucking hard and laving it with my tongue, even biting it a little. I was in awe of her uninhibited reactions to me. It was better than any dream. Her eyes were clamped shut, her hands holding my head to her breast. Her head was thrown back exposing her swan like neck. Her chest flushed red and her hips undulated against my pelvis, making groan and send vibrations into the pillow of her breast as I continued to suck. My cock found it's way between her folds, laying flush. I gyrated my hips, rubbing her wetness up and down the length of the underside of my shaft. She shrieked low and opened her eyes suddenly and I figured I must have hit her clit. I put my hands on her hips and pressed them into the mattress to keep her still. I ground against her in earnest and sucked as much of her perfect breast into my mouth as I could. She began making a warbling sound that rushed out of her in panted breaths, "Ohhhwww, Ohhhwww, Oahhhwww." My cock was so hard it hurt, but I couldn't stop what I was doing. Hearing those sounds was the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced. Short stabs of my cock against her clit produced this wonderful sound. I gave one last long, hard pull on her engorged bud and lapped it hard with the flat of my tongue. And she came. Holy shit! And she came, and came. She screamed an unintelligible sound, followed by some words I could understand. They send my blood soaring. "Aaaahhhh oooowwwwwmmmmm, awww, awww, Christ! Mmmuullldddeeerrrr! Ahhh, fuuuccckkk! Yes, Oh God, Oh God, Awwwwwww." I let go of her breast and watched her pant as I held still. Her legs were vibrating against my hips where they rested, her feet flat on the bed. She opened her eyes and I stared into them. They were dark blue, darker blue than I'd ever seen them. Her pupils were dilated wide. She tried to focus on me but her eyes rolled back into her head. He let out a chuckle and I couldn't help the wash of male pride that swept through me. Who knew she would be so vocal? So uninhibited? She finally looked at me and yanked me down hard to give me a crushing and thorough kiss. She broke it and looked at me. "Oh Mulder," she murmured, "that was unreal." I smiled gently at her and lifted her legs slowly. She wrapped them around me and continued to stare. I pulled my arms up and rested my weight on my elbows. I hardly recognized my voice, it was so gravelly. "That was most arousing thing I've ever seen." She smiled lazily. "What do you want now, Scully?" She raised her eyebrow in a familiar gesture. But the words that came out of her mouth weren't at all familiar. "I want you to fuck me until I can't walk straight tomorrow." I choked and then grinned at her. I let my head fall onto her shoulder and began sucking on her neck. She moaned. "Mulder! Please!" I raised my lips to her ear. "You are the most devastatingly beautiful woman I have ever known." I felt her shiver. "I love you so much, Scully. You'll never know how much." With that I slid into her slow and steady and she gasped. Oh lord, was she tight! Her wet, warm walls pulsed around my cock which was starting to ache now from lack of relief. We both held still when I was firmly embedded. She panted lightly and said, "You feel so good, Mulder. It's been so long." I began to stroke her slowly, letting her get used to me. The fact that she hadn't been with anyone in a long time thrilled me, although it probably didn't do much for her. I degenerated into low constant moaning as her honey coated walls gripped me, trying to hold me in with every stroke. "So good, Scully. Oh God, you're exquisite. I've never felt this good. Love you so much." She panted, "Fas...ter, Mulld,..er!" I sped up slightly, lengthening my strokes and swiveling my hips. She joined me in my moaning fit. I wanted this to last but I was quickly nearing the end of my endurance. I was about to tell her when she said, "Oh God, Mulder, a little more, a little harder. I'm gonna, I'm gonna come agaaaiiinnn!" I lost it and drove my pulsing cock into her fast and furious. I felt her legs lift on my ribcage a bit higher and I sank deeper into her, feeling the throbbing head of my cock slam into the entrance to her womb. That slight change in angle and I was burying myself so deep that my balls were smacking her anus with every thrust. She shouted again and I felt a thousand tiny muscles vibrate around my rigid shaft ... and it was all over. I threw back my head and roared as I crushed my hips into the soft cushion of her thighs, jerking against her as I emptied myself of the most intense orgasm of my life. My cock twitched violently with every burning spurt of cum that I dumped into her deep well. My balls tingled and spasmed rhythmically for what seemed like the longest time. "Scccuuulllyy! Oh God, Oh God, coming so hard, Oh baby, I'm coming sooo haarrddd! Ahhh, Jesus!" I collapsed onto her at the end of it, both of us quivering with aftershocks. I don't know how long we laid there, but I finally summoned the energy to roll onto my back. She surprised me when she gripped me tightly with her arms and legs as we rolled. She ended up on my chest, my sore and pulsing cock still embedded in her, although no going soft. She sighed and I whispered to her. "Scully, that was amazing. Undoubtedly, the best sex I've ever had." She lifted her head and grinned. "For me too. Jesus, Mulder, I came from you sucking on my tits!" I chuckled. "Well, I was doing something else too," I teased. She nodded against my chest and felt her lips smile where they were pressed to my breastbone. "I liked that something else. That's never happened to me before." "Hmmm, good." "Did you call me baby?" "I don't know, did I?" "I think you did," I said with mock seriousness. "Is that a bad thing?" "No, not in private." I grinned. "Scully?" "Hmmm?" "Would you be my Valentine?" She giggled. "Yes, Mulder, but only if you'll be mine." "Done deal, baa...bbeee! Dinner on Tuesday night for V-Day?" "A date?" "Yeah, you've heard of them." "Sounds good." "Good." I nodded sharply and she smiled. We rested a bit and then she said. "Mulder, I'm hungry. You'll learn this too. I'm always hungry after sex, and thirsty. So when we christen those red silk sheets in your apartment, you better have some edible food and a bottle of Gatorade waiting for me!" I chuckled. "I think I can do that." "Are you hungry?" "A little, I haven't had dinner. I must say though, that my hang over is completely gone." She giggled again. "I don't want to cook. How about PB&J?" "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?" She nodded. "You're on, beautiful." We both groaned as I slipped out of her wet warmth. She swung up and out of bed, grabbing my turtleneck and pulling it over her head. She bent and put her panties on. She stood and turned to look at me. I laughed at the sight she made in nothing but her panties and my turtleneck. The turtleneck hung down to mid thigh, almost to her knees and it didn't look like she was wearing anything underneath it. I waggled my eyebrows. "The outfit suits you Scully. I think it's a new look for you." She giggled. "Come on." She scampered out of the bedroom and I yanked my boxers on. I heard her use the bathroom and head for the kitchen. I decided my boxer briefs were enough. I planned on dragging her back into this bed after we ate, even it was only to sleep. I used the bathroom and sought her out in the kitchen. She handed me a sandwich on a paper plate and we sat at the table and ate them quietly, chugging Gatorade. She sighed, "Ahhh, electrolyte heaven." I scooped the last blob of peanut butter onto my finger and held it out to her. She gave me a mischievous look and latched onto my finger carefully sucking every last morsel from my finger. I couldn't believe I was hard again. She stood up and I grabbed her as went to pass me with the dirty plates. She looked at me curiously. I took the plates from her and set them on the table, pushing my chair back a bit. She scrunched her eyebrows until my hands ran up her thighs under the shirt. She grasped my shoulders as I slid her panties down and let them fall to the floor. "Mulder, what are you doing?" She didn't sound too upset. I didn't answer her. I just reached down and freed my cock from the fly in my boxers. Her eyes widened as I grabbed her waist and positioned her in front of me. I swiped between her legs to judge if she would need to be coaxed into arousal again. I nearly swooned when I felt how wet she was, her juices running down over my fingers as they pressed between her swollen lips. "Oooo!" she gasped. I grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her in one motion, settling her legs on either side of mine and slid her directly onto my shaft. I entered her hard and fast. She gasped. "Oh God, Mulder." I didn't waste any time, but grabbed her hips and began helping her lift up and down. I bucked hard into her unable to get over how good this felt. This was Scully! Oh God, this was Scully! I used one hand to pull her to me and begin kissing her as she rode me hard and fast, her toes perching on the rungs of her kitchen chair for leverage. She began to slam down onto me, jarring my balls with every hit and tilting her pelvis into my stomach so she could scrape her clit on my skin. We broke the kiss in favor of keeping our furious rhythm. I was overwhelmed suddenly that I had this woman in my arms, riding me like it was the end of the world. She was the woman of my dreams and now she was the woman of my reality. I had no idea how I'd gotten so lucky but I felt my eyes began to leak hot tears of joy as she rode me, a look of ecstasy on her face. I looked down and watched my swollen shaft, veins bulging, sliding in and out between her narrow hips, disappearing into a forest of auburn curls, her wetness flowing out and coating my groin and thighs. She looked down too and kept looking as she shouted and convulsed around me, reaching her third orgasm in the last hour. I followed quickly behind her. I wrapped her up tight in my arms and held her like that for several minutes. She looked up finally from panting on my shoulder and grinned. "Is this what it's going to be like all the time, Mulder?" "What do mean? Will it be good? Or will it be frequent?" She giggled and I loved the sound of it. "Both," she replied. I just looked at her, smiling and shaking my head. "I don't know. Right now I feel starved for you. I hope it doesn't wear off." She hugged me tight again and I stood up, still inside her and walked back to the bedroom. She slid down my torso, and I slipped out of her, feeling an inordinate amount of wetness in my groin. She whipped the shirt over her head and reached out to tuck my flaccid dick back into my briefs. Then she carefully pulled them down. "You like to sleep nude, Scully?" She smiled. "As a matter of fact, I do. But right now, we're going to hit the shower, and then I'm going to change the sheets." "I was so looking forward to the wet spot!" I quipped. She slapped my shoulder playfully. I picked her up straight into the air and she wrapped her legs around my waist. "You might want to wait on changing the sheets, Scully." She stared at me a moment, with a solemn expression on her face, then she cracked the biggest grin and shook her head. "You think an old man like you can do this again tonight?" "Hey!" I sputtered. She giggled. "Well?" I looked at her. "Well, I may need a little time, and if I can't, I can always attack you in the morning." "In the morning, huh?" "Yeah, I definitely have some more work to do." "Work to do, what do you mean?" I schooled my face into my best deadpan. "You're still walking O.K." She burst into laughter as I carried her to the bathroom, clinging to me like a chimp. My own little beautiful chimp... more like imp. THE END.