Title: Twenty Questions Author: RPcrazy Category: DRR, Reyes POV Rating: NC-17 [language, smut, maybe some disturbing images (given fair warning)] Disclaimer: Characters not mine etc. Summary: This happens after Audrey Pauley and probably what Monica and John talked about on one Friday night having a beer together after work. Acknowledgement: Thankyou so much Scifinerdgrl for all your research and inspiration and Thiala for some other fabulous question ideas. Thankyou Humanlybound for your continued support of my fics. Feedback: holosweet@yahoo.com.au Part One "So John, why do we come here each week? I say next time we find a different place." "Why Mon? Don't you like the smoky atmosphere, the cheesy music and the in-much-need-of-renovation décor?" I love the way he gives a small chuckle when he thinks he's said something witty. He takes a sip of his beer leaving a sliver of froth on his upper lip. I resist the urge to lean over and wipe it off with my thumb. The last time I did that he gave me a look much to say . "Well it's your fault if I go home smelling of smoke." "I thought you'd be used to that by now." There is that little chuckle again. "John, you very well know that I gave up smoking a few months ago. Stop teasing me okay?" It's my turn to laugh a little. I look forward to this time each week when after work on a Friday we come here and relax and just talk. It's always the same, after two beers John lightens up and we talk about anything we wish. The conversation usually starts off with work related issues but we get around to the more personal stuff eventually. I usually end up driving him home because he's had just one too many for the road. "Want another?" "Okay John, but just one." As he gets up to go to the bar I watch him as I usually do with my wanting-more-from-him-than-he's-willing-to- give expression that he never sees. If he ever did see it he probably wouldn't know what to do about it. I've loved him for a long time now and I suppose there will come a time when he loves me enough to admit it to himself. Each week I look for more signs and I do see them. There may be a pat on the arm one time and maybe a small smile of gratitude for something I've done but I've never seen the longing for me in his eyes that I so wish I could see. He's leaning over the bar now and I imagine what it would be like just to be close enough to that body to feel his warmth. What would it be like to wake up with him lying asleep next to me? I still remember that Babylon 5 episode where Delenn watches John Sheridan as he sleeps because she believes that a person's true face is revealed in their sleep. My John's face would be serene and smooth I just know it. He would show that behind that rugged, no nonsense surface he is someone just wanting to feel free to love again. That person who wants to protect others so badly really needs protection himself. As he holds a beer in each hand my mind goes back to a month back and my accident. We'd talked in the car after I'd dropped him home and I thought we had a moment. I so wanted him to kiss me then but he wasn't ready and had left me to drive home feeling empty. That's when it happened and the car came out of nowhere and collected me leaving me in a coma. I know that John was the one who had saved me. He was the one who had faith that I was still here in this body. He stood by me and I love him for that. Our relationship has changed since then but not as much as I'd expected. I know he cares about me deeply but he still hasn't given me any sign that he couldn't live without me. Dana has spoken to me about how anguished he was when I was lying there in the hospital. She told me he was in tears when the doctor was going to pull the plug. He has yet to show me this side of him. He has yet to show that he loves me or even that he likes me as more than a friend. We are right for each other I know it. He must believe that too. "I don't get it. The beers were ten cents difference in price this time. Why is that?" "Well maybe we get a discount after the first two rounds or it's just another X-File that we'll have to investigate." He smiles at me and I know he is comfortable with my humor and me. "So what'll we talk about?" His face is more alive tonight. Even in the subdued lighting his eyes sparkle and I know I could probably talk about anything with him right now and he'd answer me truthfully. "Oh, I don't know, politics?" "I want to stay awake thanks Monica. How about that guy Jimmy Evans today, he told us a few whoppers. Did he think he'd get away with it?" I immediately lean over and place a finger over his lips and his expression changes to surprise. "John, let's not talk about work tonight, let's talk about something else." "Okay." "Let's talk about us." He is silent and I know I have him thinking. That is my whole intention. I want him to think about our relationship and us. I want to know what he thinks about me, whether he does love me but is afraid to admit it to himself and to me. "What did you have in mind?" He's still looking at me as though he's not sure of my intentions. "Look John, there was this game we used to play back in college. It's called `Twenty Questions'." ....................................... "Sounds like a TV show." "Do you want me to explain?" "Go on." "Well, any number of people can play. Twenty matches are divided between the number of people playing and each match represents one question. One person is nominated to start. They must ask a question of anyone in the group and as they do they place a match back in the centre of the table." "What sort of questions can they ask?" "Absolutely anything." "Anything? That sounds dangerous. What if the person doesn't want to answer for any reason maybe personal?" "Then that person is immediately out of the game." I can see the cogs ticking over in his mind. He believes me even though I totally concocted the rules of this game out of the blue. "Sounds a bit like `Truth or Dare' without the dare." "That's right. Are you game?" "Okay I'm in but we need matches." I retrieve the box of matches from my bag that I've kept there since giving up smoking. He looks at me with a slight frown. "Don't worry, I just haven't got round to taking them out of my bag. They'll stay on this table tonight okay?" Once we have ten matches each we face each other thinking. "So Mon, if I ask you something very personal that you can't or won't answer then it's not in my best interests is it?" "You've got it. The game will be over before it even starts. Want me to go first?" "Okay." He takes a few more sips of his beer as I think. There's that froth on his lip again. This time I'm feeling like reaching over and licking it off but hold myself back once more. I want it to be him to make the first move and I want it to be tonight. "All right, a simple one to start with. What's your favorite color?" I place my match in the ashtray on the table. It doesn't take him long to answer. "Navy blue. I've always liked it from a way back and not that it's a cop color either." "Figured as much, I can see you as a navy blue person and the color suits you too. You should wear more of it. It's a strong, austere color that shows leadership and sincerity." "Hmmm, I'll remember that." "You'd have an inner color too John." "I would?" "One that you would like to show the world but you're holding back." "I don't know. You tell me." In a softer voice I continue. "It's something that I need to see to judge. You need to show me first John." He just remains thoughtful for a moment looking at my face and I know I've hit a chord with him. Not wanting to break to the mood I move on quickly. "So your question for me?" "What's your favorite color?" "Hmm, it's blue for calmness and serenity. I `d like it to be crimson, my passionate inner self but that's what I tend to hide away from the world too. It only comes out at special times." "When does it come out Mon?" "Is that another question?" "Do you want it to be?" "That's your decision, it's your match. Who said our questions had to be in order." " All right, another match then, when does your passionate inner being show itself?" "It's usually one on one with someone else, preferably a man. It doesn't show when I'm angry or frustrated but when I feel passionate and sexy." He is hanging onto my every word and I know he is thinking deeply about what I'm saying. "It emerges when I'm in the arms of a man and in his bed." His facial expression alters slightly and I know he's trying not to show too much. "You haven't put your two matches in." A little relieved that I cut short this direction of conversation he goes on, "Oh. Still getting used to this game. Your turn." The look of anticipation on his face is priceless but I do see something else. Is that concern? I certainly hope this is all getting him thinking. "Here's a quick question or we'll be kicked out the door at closing time. Yankees or Mets?" "Yankees of course." "Of course John, I'm not into baseball that much but I'll follow if it happens to be the topic of conversation. I tend to go for the Mets if I had to choose. You'll have to take me to a game sometime. A bit of friendly rivalry is good for the soul." "You're on. Now it's my turn." He is enjoying this game. It's certainly a chance to get to know each other on a more personal level. That's the whole reason I wanted us talking. "I've always been fascinated with what's in women's handbags. I've heard that all sorts of things can be found there. It's a virtual treasure trove." "Sorry to disappoint you John, but I'm not one for collecting knick- knacks in my bag. Let's see." I place the bag on the table and produce the four items I have there, but leave the fifth hoping he doesn't see. "My wallet, car keys, make-up bag and hairbrush." He must see the hesitation in my face because I notice him trying to read it. John's not one for missing when it comes to physical things. "Come on Mon, you wanna forfeit?" "Forfeit?" "I wanna continue this game as much as you but you gotta come clean. Show me what else." My hand goes into the bag and pulls out a small box. "Condoms, Monica? You plan on getting lucky tonight?" He chuckles again and I can't help but feel overwhelming passion for him. I'd love to say that I want him in my bed tonight but he has to come to that realization himself. "Just something I also forget about, just like the matches." It was half true. "Mmm, maybe I'll leave the question still in my mind for later." Oh, I hope so. "Your turn, that'll makes six matches all together." ......................... "When you went to confession last how many `Hail Marys' did you have to say?" "Well seeing I wasn't brought up as a Catholic, none." "Come on John, that was too easy. Tell me more." "Well if I did have to say `Hail Marys' then I'd probably be still be in that church paying penance." We both laugh and I imagine he's probably right. How many times is it for language alone? "So Mon, do you believe in God?" "That's another match you owe." "I know." "I believe there is a greater force than ourselves in this universe. Whether it's originally alien or is something else beyond our conception that is not for me to say. I respect people's beliefs that at one time there may have been a physical manifestation of this God. Why just Earth? There must be many other places out there that support life. We should not be so egocentric. Do they have their gods too? It's just too huge an issue for me to have a firm belief so I stay open to possibilities. And you John?" "Put in your match." I laugh and do as he says. "I was brought up in the twice on Sundays church. Sunday School in the mornings then a main service for families. It was just part of life that there is a God and He lives in Heaven and the Devil in Hell. This was taught to me as fact. It wasn't until I joined the Marines that I started to question all this. I suppose that's why I'm a skeptic now. I have many questions in my life still to answer. Being fed with stories when I was younger and just taking them at face value has made me want to question those now. I need to see it with my own eyes to believe anything Monica." "I know. I believe too when I see it but who's to know that what we see is totally real too. People can perceive the same thing in different ways." "Don't confuse me Monica, it's too late to think so philosophically. Let's change the subject." "Okay, so when you were in the marines, did you have a nickname?" He smiles and leans over to take one of my matches but I beat him to it. "I hoped that would never come up." I notice that his beer glass is empty. "How about you think about that question while I get you another beer." He nods and watches me as I get up, my legs a little stiff from sitting for so long. What is he thinking as I make my way to the bar. Is his mind pondering my crimson inner self? I hope so. "Ten cents cheaper again. Must be a discount." We smile at each other as I sit back down. "You're not having another Mon?" "No John, looks like I might have to drive you home tonight. I'll sit on this one." "Have I had that many?" "That makes four but who's counting." "So nickname boy, spill it." "Bull." "Bull?" "Yes, I know, bull headed and swearing like a trooper. My favourite word then was bullshit. So I got nicknamed bull. Thanks Monica for dredging that up!" "I swear, I won't tell another soul." "You better not or we won't be playing this game again." "After the questioning I have lined up for you we may not need to." "Oh? You've made me curious now Monica." He eyes me as if to extract my motives. "Your turn John. This'll be the half way point." ................................ "So what's your star sign?" "Why ask a question like that John? It's so unlike you to be interested." "Is that one of your questions? Put a match in." He teases me. "No, I'll take that back then." I say quickly. "It's Pisces, March 4, 1968. I know that look John. You knew I could answer that question but you probably have no idea what it means. You don't believe in all that nonsense do you." "No, but I just wanted to see the way you'd react." He smiles and takes another sip of his beer. Without thinking I do the same. After that comment I decide that this is the perfect time to give him back some of his own medicine. "John, I know you're an Aries, April 4 right?" "Am I?" "Yes and did you know that according to love.astrology.com when Aries and Pisces come together in a love match, they can be very good for one another?" "Why do you bother with all this stuff Monica? It's all just nonsense, how could planets and stars guide our personalities, play with our love lives?" "I'm not going to go into that now but I do hold some fascination for astrology and numerology." "Go on then, what else do we have in common?" "On the surface an Aries and a Pisces may seem an unlikely pair, but when there's love involved, they can truly fulfill one another's needs." "Sure you want to tell me this Mon, we're partners not lovers." I see that he's shifting a little uncomfortably and I inwardly smile knowing that I'm putting that seed in his mind. "I know, just thought it was interesting. There's more, Pisces knows how to keep Aries from becoming overly brash or rash. When the 'prey' is gentle Pisces, Aries tends to take on the role of protector. Together they form a dynamic team when they combine Aries's directness with Pisces's intuitive understanding of other people. Aries helps Pisces bring their fantasies into reality." "So you want me to ask about your fantasies Monica? That's a little too personal." "John, you can ask anything you want remember." As I say this I lean in closer to him seeing his face is flushed but not just from the beer. Of course I'd love to talk about my fantasies with him. I'd also like to fulfill them in the bedroom. This is the half way mark, the next question will put us at the point of no return and it needs to be well planted. Maybe it's time for a break and to let him think for a moment and to let me phrase my question just right. We only have ten questions left and I want them to bring out what John has hopefully been hiding recently. "I'm just going to visit the bathroom, okay?" I get out of my seat and he gently takes my wrist then stands himself. This gesture alone is something I've craved: his skin on mine, his fingers touching. As he rises and I see a question in his face that he's not asking. He wants to act on a feeling he has but he's holding back. Every pore of my body wants him to move in to kiss me or even to hug me but I see his restraint. Before he speaks I see on his face that he has decided against acting for now. "Want another beer?" He must have seen that little disappointment in my eyes as my face falls. "All right John, another beer." This will be my fourth and will put me over the limit to drive home but a cab will be fine for tonight. We can pick up our vehicles tomorrow. All I want to do is be with John and mixing some fun with alcohol every so often is probably harmless. ............................. The bathroom is just as dingy as the rest of the hotel but it is clean and well stocked. As I look into the mirror and wash my hands my face is showing what it must have shown to John a moment ago. Why doesn't he see that I want him? Why is he finding it so hard to take the next step with me? "Excuse me." There is a voice beside me. An attractive woman of about twenty-two washes her hands then gets out her hairbrush. "I hope you don't think I'm nosy." "Uh?" Her captivating scent wafts past my nose. "But I can't help noticing you and your boyfriend." "My boyfriend?" I follow suit and also retrieve my hairbrush. "Hi, I'm Gloria by the way." She extends her hand to me that I return with a shake. ""Monica." Resisting the urge to correct her on the boyfriend status I ask, "What have you noticed? I'm intrigued." "Well he's a very handsome man with the most amazing sexy voice I've heard, who has the hots for you, and you're asking him shit weak questions, excuse the French." He has the hots for me? How would she know that? Instead of asking I continue a different way, "You've been listening in?" "It's hard not to when we're in the next booth but take it from me honey I've played that game before and with the right questions you'll have him eating out of your hand." "The right questions?" "Please don't get me wrong but asking the favorite color, Hail Mary and star sign questions ain't going to get him into bed in a hurry." Not missing this opportunity for some research I delve further. "So what would you suggest?" Another woman comes into the bathroom but this doesn't deter Gloria. She is intent on imparting her ideas and I'm actually finding her fascinating to listen to. "You need to go out there and be foxy, you want him to imagine what it would be like undressing you, feeling over your body and then lying you down on that bed. He needs to know what you can do to him that will make him scream out in pleasure. When you two leave here there should be no doubt in his mind that he is going to be in for one hell of a night of sex. Got it?" My mouth is surely open after her words. My heart is racing and mind is going wild with inspiration. All I can do is nod. "Okay, here." She lends me her perfume spray. "Put some of this on. Works wonders on my Steve and here." She pulls out some crimson lipstick from her bag and then some eyeliner. "Not too much, just enough for him to notice you for the sexy vixen you are." I apply both then wait for what I know will be further instructions. "That shirt, you can undo at least two more buttons. He needs to see a hint of cleavage. He needs to know what he's going to be touching later, and lean over to him every so often so he sees." She helps me with the buttons then arranges the shirt to sit correctly. Once done she stands back a little and looks me up and down. "That's fine." She places her bits and pieces in her bag. "Now you need to get to some more personal questions and quickly. You only have ten to go right and only five of yours?" "Right." "So you need to steer his questions the right way. Okay, next question has to be about underwear or something under his clothes. If he asks you the same back don't give him the satisfaction. Let him just simmer. He's not going to stop the game, not at this stage. I heard you talking about your fantasies, that's good, play on that. Men love to find out about female fantasies and you'll have some fun while you're at it. You need to make him imagine what they could be and what it'd be like if he was in them." "Anything else?" It is time to head back or John would be missing me. She keeps talking as we walk to the door. "If you feel the need to touch him then do. Every touch from now on will add another tick to your bedroom report card. Don't let him have too many beers, you want him in charge of all his faculties if you know what I mean." We head back and I see John's adorable face watching me. He almost looks worried at first but then I see his expression change and I know he likes what he sees. "Good luck." Gloria gives my arm a squeeze. "Will I see you again?" "I'm here every Friday, see you next week." "Thanks." My eyes go back to John who is beginning to stand as I approach. "Monica, what took you? I bought more beers." His voice sounded a little shaky. Remembering Gloria's words I touched John on the forearm as I sat down then leant forward a little getting comfortable. Out of the corner of my eye I saw John's eyes grow wider and knew he'd had an eyeful of cleavage. .......................... "Who was that you were talking to?" "Oh, that was my friend Gloria." "Gloria, haven't seen her before." "She's here every Friday." "I haven't seen you talking to her before?" This questioning has to stop so we can get to the nitty gritty. I take him by the hand and he lets me lock fingers with his. His eyes look down then up again slowly and then his fingers make a stronger grip on mine. This is the right move. "I'll talk about her later, let's get on with the questions." He's feeling over my hand with his thumb making me a little distracted. Trying not show him this I continue, "Remember we talked about being able to ask each other anything, no matter how personal? If you want to pull out now just tell me because I'm going to get personal here." I part my lips a little as I say this and try to give him my sexiest smile. "I'm in." I sip my beer and welcome its coolness in my throat. "So John, the age old question, boxers or briefs?" He almost looks relieved as though I was going to ask him about his sex life or something but that was to come. "Um, depends, I like to wear boxers to bed but I tend to wear briefs under my jeans." His mouth moves and I know what he's going to ask. There is a small lip curl as he says, "And you Monica, what are you wearing underneath that shirt?" Leaning forward again to give him a glimpse I respond, "Is that your question John Doggett because if it is then I'll say that you're just going to have to find out some other way." "You mean, you're going to forfeit this game because you won't tell me about your underwear and I've told you about mine?" "I have a feeling you'll let me pass on that one and ask me something else." "Okay," he says slowly. "Tell me about your relationship with Brad." Now that's something I hadn't expected him to ask. I'd tried to keep that locked away but John had seen something. "What do you think it is?" "Now that's not fair Monica, I want the truth. You promised the truth in this game and I'll be able to tell." He takes my chin gently in his hand and looks into my eyes. "Have you had sex with him? I see the way he looks at you and the way you treat him." "No John, it's not like that, well not any more. We had a sexual relationship in New York just before I met you but that was all over two years ago. I have not slept with him since coming here and have no intension of starting up that relationship again." He looks over my face but still cups my chin. He wants more, I can tell by the slight sideways glance and the narrowing of his eyes. "Okay he's kissed me and we almost went to bed together once but I had to stop it before it went too far. It would have given him the wrong message. He seems satisfied because he releases my chin then slowly reaches for his match and adds it to the growing collection. .................................... "Your turn, ask away." He sits back waiting. "Tell me about when you lost your virginity John." Again he looks a little relieved but he doesn't know the line of questioning I have planned. "Why do you want to hear about that for? It's pretty uneventful." "It mustn't have been that uneventful or you wouldn't remember it." "Who doesn't remember their first time, unless they were drunk or drugged I suppose. Okay, it was just before I joined the marines. A group of us decided to go camping sort of like a last ditch attempt to feel freedom. We were left alone while all the others went for an early morning walk. I was feeling the affects of the previous night's drinking so stayed in my sleeping bag in the tent." "And, who was she?" "Just a friend." "Just a friend and you screwed?" "Well more than a friend then. She came into my tent when I was dozing and started feeling over the sleeping bag until she found my weak spot." "Your weak spot John?" I tease. "You know perfectly well what I mean Monica." "So what happened next?" "I pretended at first I was asleep but it was soon obvious that she had got me aroused. I'd had no idea she wanted me that way until then. She was the most gorgeous creature I had set eyes on and just thought she would never be interested in me." "Don't sell yourself short John, I'm sure you've had many beautiful women want you since your first time." The way he looks at me now I'm not sure whether it's the beer talking but for the first time I see something that resembles more than like for me. I hope he finds me beautiful. This is the second `moment' we've shared this evening. This game is certainly a godsend; it's making him express feelings that he seemed to have locked away for whatever reason. "Go on John." I know I want him to kiss me but I'll let him imagine for now what it may be like. "You want me to go into detail? I think you already know." "That question requires the whole package." I could stop him short here but I want him to talk about sex with me. It is a side of him that is rarely seen. "She began kissing me and must have liked that because we ended up in the sleeping bag together totally naked. I was glad she wanted to dominate because I was inexperienced and didn't want to tell her it was my first time." "Did she know?" "I don't think so. We spent the next couple of weeks together before I had to leave. I learnt things from her that will never leave me. That would have been the biggest two weeks of sex I've ever had." "Did you see her again after joining the Marines?" "Oh yes, we saw each other every time I was back in town and of course we always ended up in the bedroom but we each found other relationships and drifted apart." "Have you seen her since?" "She's married with a couple of kids. I saw her last year and we were inches away from the bedroom again but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not with a married woman. I was tempted Monica." He looked up at me again as whispered, "I've never told a soul about that." My mouth goes into a smile, proud of myself for starting this game. "It's good therapy to open up to someone John. Every one needs a shoulder to lean on even a tough FBI agent like you." "And who do you lean on Monica?" "Is that your question?" "As good as any." He adds his match to the pile and I look down to see that we each only have three left. "Well anyone who is willing to lend an ear. I'm usually the one who is leaned on, that's just the way it's been all my life." "But you need someone don't you. You just said to me that everyone needs to let steam off to someone." "Yes, maybe I don't have as much steam to let off. Maybe my job helps me to channel my emotions. So John, are you offering your shoulder?" There's that look again, it glows with sincerity. "That's so sweet John. I might just take you up on that." This line of questioning is moving away from the mood I've been planning so must steer it back. ................................ "My turn. Okay," No way when I started this game was I going to ask him this but the beer and the inspiration from Gloria has stirred me inside. "How many times a day do you think about sex?" "Is that a trick question?" "Do you want me to look into your eyes now John. Be truthful," I chide. "All right, um, about ten." "Ten?!" "Isn't that normal for a healthy sexually functioning male?" "I thought for the average male it was something like once every three minutes." We both laugh. "So ten hey, how could you possibly get all your work done when you're constantly thinking about boinking someone?" "Oh Mon, you sound as though it interferes with my work." "You're always so serious and matter of fact that I would have had no idea what you were thinking. So when you're reading those reports quietly at your desk you're probably doing it to someone in your fantasies?" "You told me to be truthful." "So where do you do it? At your desk? In the elevator? In the john? On Skinner's desk?" "Mon, that was five questions, add the matches." "I don't have that many left." "Well I'm not answering then." "Common on John, it's all part of question fifteen. Tell me more. It's your own fault you have me intrigued." "My fault, you're the one who asked the question and wants me to be truthful." I can see he's enjoying this banter, a perfect opportunity to continue. "So, have you ever had a fully-fledged sexual fantasy at your desk while I've been in the office with you." "Yes. Many times." "John, tell me more. What did you imagine?" "So you wanna know my fantasies?" "You don't have to tell me all of them tonight, just one. Did you have one this week?" "Uh huh." "Spill it John." "You won't be embarrassed?" "Me embarrassed? No John." "I was reading that report on the prostitute that was murdered under mysterious circumstances over by the canal and I started imagining what it would be like there and then to be given a blow job." "So all this time I'm in the office with you and you're dreaming about being given head by a prostitute?" "Well she wasn't a prostitite." "So did you...?" "Did I what Mon?" "Were you satisfied?" "When I went to the bathroom I was." "John, John, John, why don't you just get yourself a real woman for that, much more satisfying." "I know and I'd love a real woman but they're not always around when you need them." "I'm here John. I'm with you now." What a great opportunity to add that gem. He laid it all out for me on a platter. Once again he just stares in my eyes trying to extract the hidden meaning. Little does he know it's really all on the surface. "So Mon, seeing we're into personal," He adds a match to the pile leaving himself two." Have you ever sucked off a man?" "Oh, yes." "And did you enjoy it?" "That's another match." "Uh uh," he shakes a finger. "Part of the same question." "Depended on the man." "Did you do it with Brad?" "Yes." "Mon, you're being cagey here. I opened up to you, you have to tell me more." "Okay, I do enjoy pleasing the man and I know he loves the feel of it but I know I would truly enjoy it with the man that I love. I just didn't love Brad as much as I thought." Those cogs are turning again and I wonder if he's now imagining me doing that to him. I hope so. ................................. "John, when was the last time you had sex?" His finger taps the edge of the ashtray and the match goes in. Only one left. That one will be the special match and special question I will savor for now. "You won't laugh." "Of course not John." "I haven't been to bed with a woman since before I started on the X- Files." "You're telling me it's been almost two years since you've had sex apart from your fantasies?" He just nods. "I heard on a TV program once that someone can class themselves a virgin again if they haven't had sex for two years." "Is that so then you're looking at a virgin." "No John, that's a waste. Someone as healthy as you and still young and active should have an active sex life." "You think so? I s'pose my work has come first. There hasn't been time to go out on the hunt." "Yes I think so. You need someone to help you with your recreational life so you're not always thinking about work." Do I have to be as blatant to get his mind going? "Anyway, next question, it's getting late and I want to get up early tomorrow morning for my yoga class." "You take Yoga? That figures." "Three mornings a week. There's a lot more you don't know about me either. C'mon John, we're running out of matches. I want you to ask me a question that'll knock me off my feet." ........................................ ~~~~~~~~~~ SMUT ALERT~~~~~~~~ NOTE : This may make some people feel uncomfortable so please stop reading if that's the case. I feel that the idea of fantasies is that the fantasizer is the one in control and that makes it all the more erotic. .................... "Okay, I want you to tell me the most dangerous sexual fantasy you've ever had that will never come true." This will have to be a good one. I know that sex is on his mind now. If I can get his juices flowing then I'll hear something more favorable tonight rather than "See you Monday." "I've never told anyone this John but there is one that is so sexy but dangerous. It's making me shaky thinking of it now." He is hanging off my every word. My voice is lowered. Gloria in the next booth doesn't need to hear this one. "I have to say that it's just a fantasy John. I would never want to be in this situation in real life. In my fantasy I have all the control." "I understand, just tell me." "I've just had a shower in my apartment and am dressed just in a towel. Suddenly I feel something go over my head so all is black then I feel a strong arm around my waist and something sharp and cold on my neck. In a sexy, raspy voice the intruder tells me not to scream or he'll use his knife. Pressing into me from behind he takes me to the bedroom and throws me on the bed. I feel him straddling me and something cold on my wrists. He's handcuffing my wrists to the bed head. Then he spreads my legs apart and ties each ankle to the end of the bed. I begin to scream but he covers my mouth and once again the sharp, coldness is against my neck. "No sound." I know what he's going to do to me and I'm feeling very aroused." The look on John's face is flushed and I know as I am telling him this he is imagining himself as the intruder. "Go on Monica. What does he end up doing?" Choosing not to answer yet I continue, "With his knife he cuts away at my towel until there are only shreads left over the bed and floor. I am now totally bare. His hot body is hovering over me and I know he is naked because I feel his stiff erection on my stomach. The anticipation of this encounter is too much especially as he brings the knife down from my neck, leaving a cool trail down my body. He lightly circles my nipples and then down to my navel. He pushes the blunt end of the knife into the hole and moves it in wide circles all the time telling me that he's going to fuck me hard very soon but first he has other plans." "Go on, you can't stop now Mon." "He moves the knife down further and to demonstrate just how sharp it is he cuts off some of my pubic hair and places it in my hand." John's breathing is obvious now and I know I'm going to have to say the rest very quietly so I move around to sit close by to his ear. His body heat is evident through his clothes. No way will he let me go home alone tonight. "Then I feel coolness between my legs and know that he is playing with my clit with his knife. The intruder now knows that I am hot for sex and he pushes the blunt knife end inside me. He fucks me with his knife and rubs my clit with his fingers until I come all over the bedclothes." "Mon, is this true? I mean, it's very erotic. Do you really fantasize like this?" "Want more? He doesn't stop there. He then spreads my knees until I am open enough for him to push inside me with his enlarged cock. With the knife against my neck the whole time he fucks me and tells me he'll bleed me if I scream. I can't help but yell in delight as I feel another orgasm. He puts more pressure on my neck as he comes inside me. He then puts the key to the handcuffs in my palm and tells me to only undo the cuffs when I hear the front door close. I never see his face, I never know who has just fucked me so dangerously." "Oh my! Do women really have fantasies like that?" "I don't know about other woman but I have a few more just like that and some even more dangerous." "So you want to get raped by an unknown intruder?" "It doesn't mean that John. Of course I wouldn't want that to happen in real life. In my fantasy I am the one in control so that's why it's so erotic. I am never put in a position of feeling discomfort." Even though we have one match each left it's time to go. I am exhausted from my last story and I'm feeling the beer lie a little heavily on my stomach. "Come on John, it's time to go. It's getting late and I have that class tomorrow." Sliding around the booth to the other side I stand then take his hand to lead him to the door. We collect our things and as we head for the door I look over my shoulder and see Gloria grinning widely. We both share knowing winks and I'm now looking forward to seeing her again next week. ....................... Part Two We're both quiet while traveling home in the cab. From the corner of my eye I see him watching me for minutes at a time. Will he want to go further tonight? I know he loves me, Audrey told me when I was in hospital when they were about to pull the plug. He hasn't told me this though. I want him to be the first one to tell me so. This will be up to him tonight to make the first move. He's had plenty to think about over the beers and our game. He's probably learnt more about me in the last couple of hours than he did over our years of friendship. The cab pulls up outside my apartment and I take off my seatbelt while I look across to him. It strikes me how vulnerable he looks with those gorgeous baby blues looking at me. My first reaction is to slide over and give him a hug but once again I hold back. "Thanks for tonight John." "Yeah, it was fun." He hasn't taken off his seatbelt and I wonder why. If he's waiting for me to invite him in then he'll be disappointed. I know I'm taking a big risk here but I need to know that he wants this to happen. It's a big first step, the beginning of a change of direction in our relationship. I ache for him to stay with me but he has to want it too or it would be meaningless. It's been a long drawn out moment while we're both expecting each other to talk. "See you Monday?" His face falls a little as I say this but that's all I can say except . "Yeah, see ya," he replies back. I lean forward and give him a very light kiss on the lips and then open my door and get out of the cab. The cab speeds off as I climb the stairs to my apartment. It's so quiet as I make my way to the kitchen for an orange juice. My three beers tonight have been more than I'm used to and a fruit juice usually dulls the effects. Every sound is John coming to my door but there is no knocking. What's taking him so long? I take the rest of the juice to the bedroom and lay my smoky jacket on the bed and kick off my shoes. My feet are sore from wearing them all day. Placing the empty glass on the bedside table I massage my toes and think of John. What would it feel like stretched out on this bed and him massaging my feet ? What can I expect? Why am I so hopeful that John will appear at my door tonight when most of the times in the past have been work related? "Oh John," I talk to myself as I lie back on the pillow and close my eyes. He's not coming; it's been too long. Rolling over to my clock I realize it's already gone twenty minutes. It's times like these I need to wash my troubles away. A nice hot shower would be just the comfort I need to relax my tired limbs. Pulling myself up I labor my way to the restroom. As I turn the faucets and undress I listen out for any sign that he may be back. The hot water falls down my body taking with it some of the tension of the day leaving me with just the thoughts of this evening. I really believed I was making headway with John. It looked certain he would want to stay with me tonight. Did I come on too strongly, was that it? Maybe I didn't make enough impression on him? Perhaps I should have just come out with it . I thought I'd made that clear in the bar but John probably needs to be told with words rather than just actions. Here I was practically throwing myself at him, letting him into my innermost thoughts, allowing him to look at my body and my soul. I showed a sexual side of myself tonight I would never show any other man than him. Maybe it was the beer talking because now I'm feeling a little guilty about the way I behaved. Maybe I scared him off. He's probably thinking what happened to the Monica he knows. I've screwed up. As I towel myself dry I am resigned to the fact that he's not coming back. Will this be back to square one? Will I have to concoct other games to lure him back or should I just come out with it. . Was that a knock on the door? My heart races as it sounds again. .................... Grabbing the bathrobe from the hook behind the door I slap it on then tie it as I head for the front door. The clock on the mantel says that forty minutes has gone by since he left. My mind's eye visualizes his beautiful face and his relenting pose as I greet him. He'll be there in the gray suit and white shirt he'd worn that day. His tie will have been taken off leaving his shirt unbuttoned at the neck. He'll say that he loves me and he's sorry for taking so long to tell me. "Oh, it's you." The tone in my voice must be a let down for the face I see the other side of my front door. "Monica, what a wonderful greeting for your neighbor and friend." There is sarcasm in her voice. "I'm sorry Tania, it's just that I was expecting someone else." She comes right past me and I close the door as she turns around to meet my gaze. "So who is this person you're expecting, a man I hope?" Her eyes look me up and down. "Must be a man if you're dressed like that." "Tania." "Okay, I'll butt out of your life if you want but you look desperate woman! Who is this man that you're so anxious to have at your door at this time on a Friday night?" I hesitate allowing her to fill in the gaps. "It's that FBI guy isn't it." My feet shift and my eyes fall to the floor. "I knew it! Monica, he's no good for you. You know that. Just let him go. He only gives you grief and will never give you the love you truly deserve." The confusion on my face is not noticed as she comes and hugs me. "Monica, come and sit down, we need to talk woman to woman." "Tania, why are you here? Normally you'd be out partying with your boyfriend at this time on a Friday night." "Oh that. He's taking me out tomorrow night instead. I have so much homework from college that I thought I'd get it all done tonight so I can have a guilt free weekend." "So why are you here and not hitting the books?" "Because Monica, I heard you come home alone again and thought you might like to chat about it. You need a man Monica, I can tell." "I do?" "Yes, your psyche is crying out for it. I can almost hear it screaming through our adjoining walls." "So what would you suggest Tania? Should I go out and yell out in the street below " "I'm not saying that although, come to think of it, you'd have them lining up then you could pick and choose." "That's funny Tania." I just have to tell her. I have to tell someone or I'll burst. "Tania, I am in love." "No, don't tell me it's him. He's not right for you. He's street slime if you ask me." How could she say that? Has she ever met John? How would she know if he wasn't right for me? The times John visits is usually work related and at odd times to when I see Tania. Has she ever met him? She probably hears him through the paper thin walls, I smile. "What's his name again, Brad? Now Monnie, forget him, I reckon you should go for that partner of yours." I now realize that she thinks I'm in love with Brad but I feel like letting her sink further into the quicksand. "But Tania, Brad loves me and the sex is so good. Just imagine our children and how good looking they'll turn out." She looks across, frowns and her hands go into the air. "Monnie, I'm not hearing this! Please, looks aren't everything. You need a strong man who knows his own mind. He needs to love you for all of you and not just in the bedroom. Brad's eyes will wander as soon as he sees another pair of sexy legs." My laughter starts to echo around the walls. "What's so funny?" Tania has been a good friend since I moved here but I suppose all my FBI training has taught me to keep quiet on some matters. "I'm not in love with Brad." "You're not?" "You almost sound disappointed Tania. You can have him if you want." I see her eyes light up for a moment then become more serious. "Please don't tell me it's the nerd from 7. I've seen him giving you those flowers." "It's not Mark the nerd but he is sweet, you have to admit that." Tania follows my eyes over to the array of white irises in the tall crystal vase on the mantel. She looks back at me and studies my face. "If it's not baby faced Brad or marvelous Mark then who is it? You need to spill to your friend Monnie." "Tania, I thought you were meant to be studying your books, not my love-life?" I give a small laugh. `C'mon, tell me and I'll leave you in peace." "Sure, do you ever leave me in peace?" "I'd leave you in peace if I ever heard a man in here who is insatiable for you." "Insatiable for me? Sounds like you've been too influenced by one of the music tracks you play over and over next door." I do love her taste in music. "Who is that anyway?" "It's Darren Hayes' new album `Spin'. This man you're in love with? Is he your work partner?" ....................... "I don't want to talk about it now Tania." "So it is him? He is a handsome looking guy with a great body. Now that is someone I'd work on Mon if I were you." "Yes I know." I said this almost to myself dreamily. "I didn't know you'd met him. He's always in then out of this apartment at odd times." "Oh, there's not much I miss around here. I've met him. One time he knocked on my door to ask where you were. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. God has delivered an angel at my door but trust you to get the lookers Monnie." "He is gorgeous but I haven't got him unfortunately." "So is that who you were with tonight? Why are you here alone then? Didn't you invite him home?" "It's is bit more complicated than that." "How complicated could it be? Ask the man over already. He's probably at his place dreaming of you. You could be having a night of passion, what a waste!" "Tania, are you here for a reason?" She's making me feel worse. John's probably back in his routine for the weekend which doesn't include me. I've gone enough weekends without him, I can last another. "You need a man Monica, that's why I'm here." "Tania!" "No, I mean it. Come out with me and Darren tomorrow night. We're off to the Underground Nightclub, know it? We'll go man hunting with you." "Oh, I don't know, picking up a man from a nightclub?" "Come on." She begins to stand and leave. "I'm not taking no for an answer. Be ready at seven and wear something sexy." As she opens my door she looks over her shoulder and laughs. "And don't forget that box of condoms you have in your bag." "Tania!" She produces a devilish smile and then closes the door behind her leaving me to ponder what has just occurred. It's late so I head for the bedroom and find my blue silk pajamas. If I can't have John's warm body next to mine at least this is something soft against my skin tonight. After switching off the lights and as my eyes get used to the sudden dark I wonder if he is doing the same. Is he lying in bed thinking of me? Rolling over onto my side I feel the pillow next to mine. I'm in his arms and as he caresses me I fall off to sleep. ........................ What's that pounding in my head? I didn't have that much to drink last night. The morning light streams through my window curtain and into my eyes making me squint. My eyes take time to adjust as I read the clock. Oh no, I'm running late. There's that pounding again. It's not my head but the front door. My mind immediate thinks that maybe it's my partner with some work business so I quickly brush my hair and grab last night's robe. "It's you again Tania." "Thankyou again for being so pleased to see me." She looks around my apartment. "So is he here? Did he come back?" "No, come in Tania. I'm sorry I'm running late. I'm not feeling myself yet." "I can see that. You look awful." I just notice what she has in her hands. "These were at your front door, aren't they beautiful." She hands me the most marvellous bunch of long stem yellow roses. "Oh my god Tania, did you see who left them?" "No, they were just sitting there when I came to the door." "They're probably from Mark. What am I going to do about him? He's being so romantic but he just doesn't fire my desire." "Not like John?" "No, not like John. He has me in a spin Tania but I don't know what to do about it. I thought I gave him all the encouragement he needed last night but I'm still here alone." "So what did you do? Maybe I could give you a few pointers?" "I played twenty questions with him." "Twenty questions and he played along? My god girl, what did you both ask? Okay, it's personal I know but you've sparked my curiosity now. Do tell girl." "I just told him one of my deepest sexual fantasies." "What? How did he react?" "I know he was turned on. He was pushing up against me and I could almost feel him burning up." "So why isn't he here now after a night of passion?" "Maybe I scared him off? I asked some pretty personal stuff." "Did he answer?" "Yes everything." "Well Monnie, really sounds to me like you have to be the one to go and get him. There's something holding him back and I think it's you." "Me?" "If he's told you all this personal stuff then you need to give him a reason for trusting you that you won't go blabbing to just anyone. You need to tell him exactly how you feel." "You think so?" "Yes, not any man will tell his deepest secrets. You have a special place in his heart. You have to ring him Monnie." "Now, but we'll be late?" "Love is more important than a silly yoga class." She really is a good friend. I love the way she makes me see the light in a no nonsense way. "Now go and ring him while I find a vase for these. I'll leave the card on the kitchen bench." Punching in John's numbers I wait forever but there's no reply. Not even the answering machine responds, that's odd. Retrieving my cell phone from my jacket pocket I key in a text message for him to ring me back. .............................. ~~~NOTE: Thankyou Thiala for the clothing suggestions - you're a pal.~~~ The rest of that day turns out just the way it had started. I am not myself. Nothing has turned out as planned. Every time I pass by the roses I smell their wonderful scent and really wish they were from someone other than Mark. In one way I am looking forward to going to the nightclub with Tania and Darren. It'll be good to go out on a Saturday night rather than a movie on television and a good book. On the other hand I don't want to meet let alone sleep with anyone else other than John. Every couple of hours I ring John but get no reply. There must be about three messages on his cell by now. What's he doing that he would have his cell and answering machine switched off? A few times that day I think about what I will wear. I'm not sure I feel in such a sexy mood but something sexy might improve my mood. It's almost time to shower and dress for the nightclub but there's still no return call from John. Okay, I'll leave one last message and then I'll give up trying. He has been on my mind all day. I need to get on with life and enjoy this welcomed leisure time. "John, we need to talk. Underground Nightclub from 7." Looking through my drawers for my best underwear I decide on my sexy white satin matching set. This bra is something that must be seen so I fish out my black-netted top to throw over it. Then I rummage through my clothes and find my tight black denim hip hugger skirt. The way these clothes hug my curves always make me feel sexy. The black matching strappy sandals will be the perfect shoes to complete the outfit. I'm just slipping on my shoes as I hear Tania's knock at the door. "Right on seven," I say to myself. I grab my black bag, check my face in the mirror then head for the door. "Wow, you're looking good Monnie, Close your mouth Darren." We both smile at Darren's expression. "Sorry Mon, it's just that I haven't seen you like this for a while." "That's okay Darren, I need to let my hair down tonight. I'm dying for some serious dancing." "Well in that outfit you probably won't be sitting down all evening." "Thankyou, that's so sweet. Just as long as there's at least one man there who's not such a creep." "We'll protect you Monnie." "Yes, I'm sure you will. Let's go you two before all the good ones are snapped up." As we pass Mark's apartment I feel a little sorry for him as he stands at his open door. "Thanks for the flowers." At least I try to be friendly without encouraging him too much. He looks on mesmerised and I'm not sure if he's heard me. "Talk later Mark, bye." ................................ The nightclub is not smoky thank goodness. I hope it stays that way. It's been difficult staying off the cigarettes without smelling it all around me. The crowd is beginning to swell but we find a table which Tania and myself claim while Darren goes to buy drinks. "Isn't he one hunk of a guy?" Tania's eyes are obviously watching his butt as he leans against the bar. "Oh yes, not bad on the eyes, you have a good catch there Tania." "Yes, Monnie and I went after him. If I hadn't laid claim to him he'd have all these other girls vying for him. You have to do the same with your man. One of these days he'll be snapped up and then it'll be too late for you." Before replying my cell phone rings in my bag. "Hello, Reyes." "Monica, it's me." My heart jumps as I hear his distinctive voice. Why is it that I just want him to be with me now? "John." Tania looks at me and winks. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to get back to you." It's a little hard to hear over the loud music so I head out into the hallway that leads to the restrooms. "What's happened John? I was worried about you." "I've just been tying up some loose ends at the office." "John, what about your weekend? You must stop working so hard and have some time to yourself." "They couldn't wait and I just feel happier if they're not preying on my mind." "It can wait until Monday." I soften my voice and take a breath before continuing. "John, I'm out at a nightclub and wondered whether you might like to meet me here." There is silence at the other end and I suddenly feel empty. "I don't know Monica, I've still got a few hours work here." "I really want to be with you tonight and we need to talk." "I know we do Mon. I'll see what I can do." He hangs up leaving me wondering what he wants to talk to me about. Is he going to let me down gently? Back at the table there's a white wine waiting for me. "So, did you invite him?" "Yes Tania but he's been working today and doesn't think he'll be finished for a while." "Oh my god Monnie, you have to do something about that man. He needs serious distracting." "I know, I'll ring him again in a couple of hours." The music begins the next song when I hear a voice next to me. We all look up at once to see a tall strikingly good looking dark blond haired man looking down at me. "I've noticed you from over at the bar and wondered whether you would like this dance." How could I refuse such a wonderful invitation and I am really wanting to dance all my troubles away. He takes my hand and I raise my eyebrows to the smiling couple as I leave at the table. "Hello, I'm Daniel by the way." He leads me to the dance floor. "I'm Monica." As we begin to move slowly at first he speaks. "I don't usually ask women I've never met before to dance but I couldn't help admiring how beautiful you are." Good looks and a charmer too, how could I get so lucky? "Well I don't usually dance with men I've never met before either." That was a dumb response of mine but I am distracted by his looks. We dance a few tracks, chat a while and then he asks me back to the bar with him for a drink. "So you're a policeman?" "Yes, been on the force a number of years now. Why does that bother you?" "No, no, it's just that my work partner is a former New York cop so I'm used to it." "Well Monica, I've met my share of FBI agents in the past but you're certainly the most attractive. This man is warming to me very quickly with his silver tongue. "Why thankyou Daniel." ......................... "C'mon drink up, I love this song." "What is it?" I haven't heard this song before. It has a slow lyrical quality, a slow song. The thought of being close to this man during a slow song is quite an attractive thought. "It's `I Miss You' by Darren Hayes. He's one of my favorite artists." "I like it." As we dance close I listen to the lyrics and think of John. <> "This is beautiful Daniel. I can't believe I haven't heard of him before." "Just close your eyes and listen." <> As I become more and more mesmerized by the music I smell something wonderful and realize I hadn't smelt his scent before. Still with eyes closed he turns me around facing away from him and whispers ever so softly in my ear. "I miss you. Just let me feel you." Still with his face next to mine and breathing softly on my cheek I feel his hands move very slowly and sensuously over my shoulders, then down my sides, resting on my swaying hips. I am feeling very guilty pleasure from the way I'm feeling at his touch. He moves in closer to me until I feel his crotch resting on my behind. We sway together to the magical strains. <> "This is a beautiful song." "Shh, just feel the music." The way he whispers in my ear makes me think of John. He is John in this moment in time. His hands move from my hips and up to my breasts. My nipples harden at his touch but I'm not embarrassed. This is the most wonderful sensation I've felt for so long. His fingers very lightly touch my curves down over my stomach to the hem of my skirt. We keep swaying as his fingers make their way gently to my inner thighs and I feel my legs turning to jelly at his touch. He pulls me into him and I feel that he's hard against me. When he gently touches me between my legs he must feel that my panties are dripping with desire. "Keep your eyes closed." He whispers again as he turns me to face him. I feel his arms wrap around me and once again pull me into him. That aftershave is divine. Then I feel his lips on mine just brushing at first then he presses more firmly. My only response is to open my mouth and let him taste me. One hand moves up and holds behind my neck as he takes a better hold. All I want to do is let him take all of me. This kiss is exquisite, sensuous, soft, intimate and so sexy. I feel his warm tongue exploring my mouth and I do the same to his. I don't want this to end, it is a dream come true to find someone who will kiss like this. The song is on its final lines as we reluctantly break this slice of heaven. He holds me tight then just as the song is ending he talks in my ear and I know that this hasn't been a dream but is all too real. "Monica, I missed you." Only one person has a voice like that and I know that it's not Daniel. I open my eyes. "John." NOTE: If you want to hear this song go to http://www.darrenhayes.com Click the 'Spin' circle and then look down for "I Miss You". ......................... He still has his arms around me and we keep swaying as the next track begins. "I can't believe you're here. How did you?" "How did I swap with your dance partner?" He leans into me and answers with the voice that makes me weak at the knees. "Magic." "And that kiss was magic. You don't seem too rusty to me." "Who said I was rusty at kissing?" "I just thought...?" I trail off. "Just because I haven't slept with someone for so long doesn't mean I can't show my honest affection for someone. Something like that will stay with me forever." "So that was you touching me like that?" He smiles acknowledgement. "You wanted it to be him?" "No." I shake my head not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "All the time you did that to me I was thinking of only your hands on my body. My god John that made me so hot. You're going to have to follow through now John Doggett." "Oh?" "You can't just play with my hormones like that and then just stop." "I thought that for someone who has such hot fantasies this would be ordinary." I know he's baiting me. "This is a hundred times hotter than any fantasy. You're going to have to give me more now John." "And you'll have more when I take you home and make love to you all night Monica Reyes." As we sway with hips together and arms holding each other tightly we share more than just body heat. All the bodies swirling around us add to the mesmeric feel on the dance floor. "I don't understand. Why the change?" "I just had some time to think today and realised I'm spending far too much time with my mind occupied with work. It's been to smother the thoughts of you. Last night I didn't realise just how much I've fallen for you Monica." "John, I feel the same way. I want you too." I'm almost in tears as I cling on tightly to him and we kiss again. This time I pay more attention that it is him I am kissing and not just my thoughts of him. All my fantasies combined are not enough to adequately describe how good it is to feel his lips on mine now. We kiss through the rest of the song and through the entire next track. He moves his hands over my body in the most delicious way. It's as though he is mapping my body with his hidden radar. As one hand stays on my behind the other lifts my leg up so my knee is resting over his hip. Everyone else is too engrossed in their own thoughts to see that he is pressing into me with his lips and his groin. Luckily the music hides my groans as I feel as though I'm about to come just from the feel of his bulge between my legs even through my panties. "Oh John." The lighting is low and the music volume hides what is truly happening between us now. How many others have had an orgasm on the dance floor without anyone else noticing? I'd never experienced it before and never really thought about it. As he licks my parted lips with his tongue I imagine that tongue on my clit and I feel euphoria overtake me. He has to hold me up as I feel the cascade overflow. My arms are hanging around his neck as I have an orgasm that takes hold of my whole body. I just hope no one else has noticed. The emotions I've held onto for this man were just too much to keep hidden. He rumbles in my throat as he kisses me again and I know that if we don't get out of here soon then it would be a lot more embarrassing for him. "John, we have to go." "Do you think your friends will mind if we make our exit?" "John, I don't think that's the issue here. We need to do this now. Do you think you can make it back to my place?" "I want our first time to be in a bed Monica not in a restroom. I'll hold on." We make our way over to Tania and Darren who are showing they can also kiss passionately. John stays behind me in case they happen to see how much he wants me. "Ahem, you two." They look up startled and are obviously surprised to see Daniel's face swapped for John's. "So you did make it. I see you've made up?" Tania looks at our hands interlocked and his other arm around my waist. "Thankyou for looking after Monica for me but I'd like to take her home now." "But the night is still young John." I hear her teasing voice. "Go on, we'll be able to keep each other company without you." "Thankyou Tania, Darren. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" "Mon, we'll see you when we see you. You never know, you might be too busy." She winks as we say our final goodbyes. As we pass the bar Daniel is watching us. I mouth a sorry. He looks a little disappointed at first but then holds up a thumb. He's understood that this is the man I want to go home with tonight and it's all beyond his control. I wonder what John did to swap places with this man. ......................... Part Three John drives me in his truck back to my apartment. We can hardly talk, all we want to do is make love. If I touch him now the need for sex would be so urgent that we would have to stop at the side of the road so I'm almost holding my breath until we get there. He looks across to me with a flushed face and a heaving chest and I know he feels the same way. The way he turns the wheel and then looks to me makes me want to make him stop now. His strong arms on the wheel make me think of those arms around my body. We are so close to home but I can't stand the wait. "Monica, you look so good tonight. I mean you usually look good but you look hot." "That's something someone else I know would say." I almost whisper. I can see him looking at my legs and know he doesn't often get to see them. He looks hot too in his black turtleneck and jeans but that doesn't matter because they will off his body soon and on the floor of my bedroom. "John! Stop now." I can't wait for his hands to be on me. "Monica, we're almost there." He knows I want him. He knows that I will be on him as soon as we hit the apartment. We pull up outside my apartment and I'm immediately out the door before waiting for him. It's different from last time when he opened the door for me. I reach him almost before he's out the door and pin him against the car and kiss him hungrily. He encases me with his arms as he accepts my kisses and leans against his truck. "I want you now John." The need for him to be in my bed and inside me is overwhelming. "Monica, I want you too but we need to go in." He almost carries me up the stairs. My limbs are honeycomb. I fumble for the keys and we stumble into my apartment. I take his hand and head for the bedroom. Switching on any lights would be too much work so I pull him onto the bed in the darkened bedroom. Pulling him on top of me we kiss again. All we can hear is the rustle of our clothing and our rough breathing as we remove all our attire. Who takes off what is not the concern. All that matters now is that we are naked together and feeling our skin touching. This is what I've wanted for so long and I know he wants this too. "Monica, I am so ready for you but please quickly give me those condoms." His voice in my ear is so sexy and I come to reality just for a moment to understand what he means. My hand throws him my handbag. I know he'll find what he needs quickly while I'm still here opening up to him. A moment later he envelops me and kisses as though there's no tomorrow. The feel of him pushing inside is so good. My legs wrap around his hips and he pushes in further and gasps. It's all dark around us but I know it's not a dream now. John is above me and making love to me. It doesn't matter that this first time is frenzied and quick, it's what we both want. There will be plenty of time later to explore our bodies and give each other slow pleasure. He's holding back for me so I consciously concentrate on letting go of any thought other than coming for this man. I want to show him what he does for me. Our bodies are sweaty and slippery and the noise we are making is animal. My legs go up a little further so he pushes deeper inside me and that's when I feel it. This is the start of my very first orgasm with him inside me. Oh how I've waited for this moment for so long. He knows I'm coming and he also lets go as he gives some final pushes accompanied by more groans. We experience nirvana together, that event in life no one should miss, when two people bond and produce mutual satisfaction. As he flops next to me I feel his ragged breathing in my hair and my heart beating heavily in my chest. For minutes we lie there in the dark until we begin to feel the tinge of the room's coolness. He gets up and covers me with the bed covers. "I'll be back soon." I don't even think where he could be going as I sink into the pillow feeling very contented. He comes back a moment later and slips underneath the covers with me. .................... "That was magical John." I lie on his chest and move my cheek to feel the smoothness and warmth of his skin then give him a small kiss in final thanks for what has just happened intimately between us. "Certainly was." He arches backward ever so slightly, takes a deep breath and settles into the bed rubbing his hand up and down my arm. "So what happens now Monica? We've both made this big step in our lives. How does it all pan out from here?" "John, it's a little bit too soon to map out our whole lives together." "We need to talk about this some time Monica. Just like me you must have been thinking about this day for ages." He rolls me over a little to look into my eyes. "This was so much better than I ever imagined. I don't want this to be the best it's every going to be." "How can you say that John. I can only see it getting better and better." "I don't know, I've just been too bitten by the past to be too hopeful for the future." "Then, let's not dwell on the past or the future but let's just live for today, for this weekend. The future we cannot predict but we can sure plan out a hell of a weekend." "What did you have in mind?" He settles back on the pillow again and waits for me to reply knowing that I have something on my mind. "Do you want to spend tomorrow with me? Not just the morning but are you willing to spend the whole day with me and tomorrow night?" "Yes, of course I do. After what we've just done together I can't suddenly leave you. I want to remember our first time." "Just like when you lost your virginity?" "No, better. This was so much better Monica." "Well I have a plan that may make it even more memorable. Want to hear?" "If it's anything like last night's game then I'm all ears." "It's similar but a whole lot better. Hold on for a moment, I'll be right back." As I get out of bed I feel his eyes on me and experience an inner peace knowing he's liking what he's seeing. When I reach the bedroom door I turn and see his serene face looking back. I have just made love to that man in my bed and I want no other man than him. He returns my smile with one of his own and then I leave him for a moment. "What do you have there Monica?" Sitting on the bed I show him what's in my hand. "Here are twenty pieces of paper, two pencils and a small box." "What do we do with these?" "We each get ten pieces of paper and a pencil. On each piece we write down something we'd like to do together this weekend. It can be as simple as walking around the block hand in hand to discussing a topic that has been on our minds." His eyes are lighting up so I've sparked the interest. "How far can we go with these activities?" "As far as you want." Leaning into and kissing him to make my point I say. "Haven't you ever wanted to know what it's like to live out your deepest, darkest fantasy?" He gives a small chuckle. "Well that might be difficult when there are only two of us." He's almost knocked off the bed with the push I give him. "I'm seeing a side of you this weekend John Doggett that I never knew existed." He recovers enough to smile again. "Well you did say anything. So how do we work this?" We both begin writing. "When you've finished writing, fold the paper in two then pop it into the box. When they're all done we take it in turns to select one at random. This can be done at any time over tonight and tomorrow. So if it's my turn I can take as long or little time as I wish before choosing the next activity." "So what if it's my turn and I decide to choose one when I wake in the night." "Then you will just have to wake me up no matter what." "So is there a time frame?" "Let's make the cut off point before we leave for work on Monday morning." "I'll have to get some clothes from home." "No!" "No, but Monica this is all I have with me." "Then let's build that into our questions. For instance I might say that I want to make love to you in the shower at your house. So then we'll have to drive there." "Even if it's in the middle of the night?" "Now don't you think that would be awesome?" The brain cells are working and the expression on his face shows he's liking this idea more and more. "I can see ourselves falling asleep on the job on Monday from too little sleep." "Oh, I hope so." We both smile broadly as I switch on the bedside lamp. Our smiles continue as we quietly finish writing our plans for the rest of the weekend. "So who goes first?" John is eager to begin. ................... I retrieve a coin from my wallet. "Heads or tails?" "Tails," he says as I toss the coin and it lands on the bed. "Tails it is. You go first John." He apprehensively dips his hand in the box and quickly produces our very first assignment. "Come on read it out loud." I can see a slight furrow on his brow and know that it must be one of mine and that it's making him think. "Okay, it says `Tell me truthfully about your feelings for Dana'." "You asked me about Brad, I'd like to hear about Dana." "What makes you think I have feelings for her?" "I see the way you have her wound tightly around your little finger. I just see the way you look at her like you want to do more but you know she's ever hopeful for Mulder to be able to return." He is still silent. Is this painful for him to talk about? I've drawn enough out of him this weekend; I'll draw this out too. He needs someone to confide in and I want him to confide in me. I snuggle into him sharing in his warmth and wait until he is ready to talk. "So do I have to tell you everything?" "Yes, everything John. Do you love her?" "Monica." So he does? "I've felt close to her in the past. When we were looking for Mulder I suppose I felt I was there for her, to figuratively hold her hand, and to give her hope. It was natural to become closer when we saw each other every day and we both had a common goal." "So how did you feel when Mulder was found to be alive?" Again he is quiet. "You saw all hope to be with her dissolve? "Yes, I did." "So you haven't answered my question. Do you love her?" "No, I thought I did but she's just kept too much from me. She hasn't trusted me enough to confide in me. I know she loves Mulder so I've just had to temper my heart." "So, I'm your second choice?" He looks into my eyes and says with all sincerity, "No Monica, you are my first choice. I wouldn't be in bed with you now if you weren't. You shouldn't need to question that. The way we just made love must show you I want to be with you." He keeps looking onto my face until he sees a response. My bottom lip quivers a little as the enormity of what he's just said dawns on me. That is enough of a reaction for him because he leans in and kisses my lips. The quiver is smoothed as he kisses and at the same time running a hand over the bare skin of my back and pulling me into him. How could I doubt him after this intimate gesture. These are not the actions of someone who is in love with another. "John." I come up breathless in his embrace. He's been resting his body weight gently on me and I know if we continue this way we will once again link bodies and end up hot and sweaty. Not that I don't want that, I do but this weekend we began delving into each other's thoughts and that's the way we've agreed to continue. We don't need to exhaust all our sexual energy early on when we can do it more slowly and make it so much more memorable. We've waited this long, we can wait a little longer. "John, wait!" He is also breathless as he gazes into my eyes. "We need to slow down here." "Oh Monica, I want you again. Please.." My immediate thought is how long he's made me wait for this moment. This is the perfect time to let him know that I have waited so long for him, he can wait a little longer. "I know, believe me I want you too. We have a lifetime to make love, we have this weekend to really discover ourselves." Reluctantly I push him off me and sit up. "John, it's my turn now!. We agreed." He sits back with a pained expression that I know will not last. I pull a pretend piece of paper out of the box so that he sees and I read, "How did you swap with Daniel as my dance partner tonight?" "Monica, that's not written down. That's not fair!" "What you did tonight was not fair!" ................................. "Monica, was that really a question of yours? You want to know?" "Yes John, I was with Daniel then you turned up." My mind goes fluid again. How was he not there one moment then there the next? "You want to know my techniques with woman? Can I keep some secrets?" "Yes, but not this one." "Okay arm twister! When I called you on the phone I was just outside the nightclub. You'd mentioned in one of your messages where you would be. I wasn't sure if you were there with anyone and I didn't want to intrude so I waited at the bar and watched." "So you saw me being picked up by Daniel?" "I just wanted to watch you to see what you were like without me." "So you saw Daniel coming onto me and me responding?" "When he led you out for that slow dance I couldn't contain myself any longer. You were meant to be in my arms not his." "I know John, but you weren't there and I still wanted to have a good night." " And I could see that you were." I look into his eyes and see the sadness he must have felt then. "John, I wanted it to be you more than anything." He smiles and continues. "When he asked you to close your eyes to the music that was the perfect chance. I was already in eyeshot of him, I put my finger over my lips and showed him my FBI badge. It only took a moment for it to dawn and he was off through the crowd leaving you at my mercy." "At your mercy all right. Those were some moves Mr. FBI man, and that kiss." "Yes it was pretty good." He chuckles. "Where did you learn to kiss like that?" "As I've already said, some things never go rusty. Monica it does take two. I think that our kisses are perfect for each other." With that he reaches in and opens his mouth on mine to prove it. He doesn't disappoint. This kiss once again holds so much emotion that my body is building desire again. "John," I'm breathless again. "I want to make love again but we will be too tired to play this game. I promise you this will be a weekend we will never forget. Just pick out another piece of paper, it might say `make passionate love in Monica's bed' for all we know." "Okay," He dips his hand in and reads. This time there's a smile on his face. "Come on, what does it say. Is it yours or mine?" "Yours, it says, `contemplate the stars'. What the hell does that mean?" "It means, let's go parking." "Parking like when we were teenagers?" "You've got it." "But where? On a Saturday night all the local haunts will be occupied." He watches me as I get out of bed and find my underwear. "Come on John, get dressed. I know a place just out of town near a river. It's a wooded area and very secluded. We can contemplate the stars and maybe our bodies at the same time." I see his eyes light up. We both dress and make our way out of the bedroom. "Want a drink of something before we go? Milk, juice, water?" "Juice would be good." I make my way into the kitchen and he follows. As I'm pouring two orange juices into large glasses he nudges my arm almost causing me to spill it. "John, what's wrong?" Placing the carton on the bench I see that he's holding something in his hand. "What's this Monica?" I look at the unopened card in his hand. "Oh that. You see there's this guy Mark who has a crush on me and keeps sending me flowers. The roses are beautiful but I just don't want to encourage him." "Open the card Monica." "Now? Why?" "Just open it and read it. You owe that much to the person who sent them." I look at him with a puzzled expression as I take and open the envelope. "John!" I give him a hug. "Oh my god, I didn't think. They are so beautiful. You are so beautiful." "I'd wondered why you hadn't mentioned them." "You really sent these." "So you like them." "John I love them, I love you." He goes rigid in my arms for a moment and I pull back to see his face. "I really do love you John." He looks at me as though he is a little scared at my statement but I know I can give him time for it to sink in. "Come on, drink up and let's go parking." ............................... We lose track of time as we travel up the highway. I open the window next to me and the wind through my hair reminds me of the freedom I feel right now. After years of wanting this man I now have him. He's finally seen that he has feelings for me too and can express them for our mutual benefit. Looking across to him I see a contentment there that is just surfacing after too long away. No sex for two years, I still can't believe it! Well this game will certainly change all that. I hope he's up for it because what I have planned will be giving us very little sleep for the next two nights. What he's written on his ten paper squares is certainly a mystery that intrigues me. Will they be those typical male needs such as do a striptease or suck me off or will they be more creative? I hope his activities are not so predictable. I certainly hope he's added some of those `ten a day' fantasies of his. Looking deeper into his thoughts would be so sexy. He doesn't know me well enough to predict mine. I've had a number of years now alone with my fantasies of him. We pull into some parkland with a wooded area on one side and a grass clearing in the middle. It is quite dark except for some silvery moonlight that casts eerie shadows on the tree line. It's a little chilly outside so we keep our jackets on as we make our way to the middle of the grassed area. The night is clear. Looking up into the sky I see a blanket of stars and I take his hand. "John, lie down with me." "Monica, why are we here again?" "I told you, I want us to contemplate the stars." I lead him over to the ground in the middle of the clearing and we lie close to each other looking up. "I used to do this often when I was younger and my life slower. Listen." "I don't hear anything." "That's the point. It's a time to remember where we are in the universe. We are but two individuals on a planet with one sun in a universe of billions of suns. Haven't you ever just slowed down enough to think about our existence?" `No, I haven't really had the urge before. Monica, why are we here?" I move in closer so we are touching shoulders and take his hand. We are quiet for minutes just breathing in the cool air and observing the pinpoints of light in the clear night sky. "What amazes me John is that the light from those stars may be billions of years old. The light we see now was probably emitted when there was no life on this planet. Doesn't that amaze you?" "I've never really thought of star light that way. Yes, I can see how it can be peaceful looking up at a night's sky but it has never got me considering why I'm here." Even though it's a little cool we lie quietly for a moment just thinking. His hand feels so good in mine as though God made our hands to meld perfectly. "Our lives will end yet star light is something that goes on forever," I continue. "Uh huh, but it must stop sometime right? I mean when it hits something." "Some of the light will be reflected, refracted or absorbed on its path but the rest will continue on. It will be diminished on its journey but never totally vanish." "Hmmmm." He is quiet and probably wants me to be either silent or continue talking. "Some people believe that when we die our souls travel in starlight." "Like in some sort of heaven? Well that's a whole lot of crap. You really believe that Monica?" "If it helps people deal with death it's good with me. It means that their loved ones live on forever and they will join them one day." "So you believe that Luke's souls is up there somewhere?" This time I choose to be silent to allow him to think about what I've just said. We can always talk further later. He has unresolved issues with his son's death and if we are to stay romantically involved I know there will be times when we'll both need to deal with these. I roll over and wrap an arm around him and rest my head on his shoulder. "I've always wanted to do this with someone I love." This time I say that word he doesn't stiffen. I don't expect him to say it back but I know I am in love with him and will keep saying it to show that I'm expressing my true feelings for him. "So what was stopping you?" I feel like saying honestly that I've never been in love before until him but this would be too deep a conversation for now. We need a light-hearted weekend and that's what it will be. "I suppose my friends were just too busy. They didn't realise how peaceful and thought provoking star-gazing can actually be." "So you roped me into it with this game of yours." "You want out?" "No, I'm glad we're doing this, it just wouldn't be first on my agenda." A small gust of cool wind flows over us giving the signal to head back to the truck. ................... He looks across to me from the driver's seat and sees me staring. "Penny for them Monica." "What do you think John, you of course?" "Me?" "This time last night I was lying in bed wanting you to come to my door." "What? You wanted me to come back last night?" "More than anything." "Why didn't you ask me and I would have been up like a shot. You had me all worked up last night with your questions and that fantasy of yours." "I wanted it to be your decision John. I've waited for you for a long time now and didn't want to force you into something you didn't want." He gives a small shrug of his shoulders and stares through the windscreen into the silvery distance. "So what do we do now? It's been so long since I went parking." He has a wistful look on his face. "Hmm," I move up closer to him and he responds by shifting around on an angle towards me. "Me too but I'm sure we're probably meant to kiss a little and maybe a bit of touching." As I say this I run my fingers over his chest through the sweater and look into his eyes wanting him to get my message. "So Monica, did you ever do it in a truck before?" "Do it? Hasn't everyone?" "I mean have sex." "So you want to have sex with me here?" I tease him. "What if we get caught?" He looks out each of the windows then back to me. "There's no one about." By this stage my hand is under his sweater and feeling over his chest. As I touch each nipple he lets out an audible gasp. He moves in to kiss me and my hand goes around to his back to pull him closer. The discomfort of being in this confined space is buried as our passion for each other takes over once more. I feel his hand moving randomly over my back as our lips touch first. Slowly our mouths open and once more we are kissing avidly. My mind goes back to the dance floor last night and how his kisses made me weak kneed. This is even better because we are alone and all we hear is our uneven breathing and small noises of pleasure. My hand moves down to between his legs and I smile at how I do this to him. Already he is hard for me. He produces a small groan as I feel over his straining erection. This encourages me to go further. I want to please him tonight. He has looked at the stars with me, now it's his turn for pleasure. I break the kiss to undo his belt. "Monica," he breathes and helps me by sliding the belt out of its keepers as I go for his zipper. "Hips up for a moment." He lifts his hips and I take down his jeans and then his briefs to his knees. He breaths almost a sigh of relief as his erection finds freedom. "You now Monica." "Not just yet." He looks at me with a puzzled expression but as soon as I move down this changes to realization. He laces his fingers through my hair as my mouth opens to take in the head. My hand first moves along his hip and upper thigh and then finds it's way to the base of his solid shaft. "Oh Monica." His voice is strained as I move further down on him slowly until I'm fitting as much in my mouth as possible. Then I begin to move up just as slowly teasing him with my tongue. All the while I'm sucking and licking him he is fiddling with my hair and breathing erratically. I know he is enjoying this and feel elated that I can give him something I know he may not have had for years. This is something I know is from his dreams, he told me so last night. I can tell he is close to coming so I release my hold and quickly take down my pants. He gasps as I let go but I want him inside me for this. As I straddle him in the driver's seat he mentions, "What about condoms." "John, I have just had your dick in my mouth I think it can probably go elsewhere too, and I promise no babies just yet." With one hand on his shoulder the other moves to guide him over my clit. Just the feel of him on me almost sends me into a frenzy. I run circles around my swollen center and then place the head at my ready opening and sink down until he is fully inside me. This feeling of being in control of our sex act makes me feel powerful. Him inside me again fills me overwhelming love. Just then there is a sudden light and a voice at the window. "You all right in there?" John winds down the window a little and we see someone holding a flashlight. "Yes officer, we're fine, we were just leaving." "Okay, move along then. It's not safe out here at this time of night." We both giggle like teenagers as we dress ourselves. "That was close, do you think he saw anything?" I'm not too concerned about John's response. "The windows were too foggy for him to have seen." We both laugh again as we don seatbelts and make our way back to my place. It's my turn to choose the next random activity but I think we might just get some sleep first, well maybe a little sleep. ........................ So he does snore. It's only a little but it's so cute. I'm not used to noise nearby during the night so now I'm awake wondering whether to roll him over on his side or just listen to the rhythmic rumble content in the fact that this man is sleeping with me in my bed. As I get out of bed to visit the bathroom I notice my bedside clock says it's four o'clock. I've had five hours sleep which is more than I planned on getting tonight. I then head for the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water. The room is quite chilly on my bare skin so I'm looking forward to getting back into the warm bed next to John. "Monica?" The sleepy voice calls out to me as I enter the room. "I'm here." To prove it I get back under the covers and feel the warmth radiating from him. "Ooh, you're cold. How long have you been up?" I wrap my arms around his chest and nestle in closer to get warm again. "Only a few minutes." He rolls over to face me. "I can't believe it Monica, that I'm with you here in your bed. I wanted to be here last night too." "Well why weren't you John? I was happy for you to share my bed then too." "I didn't think you wanted me or you would have asked. That's what I thought anyway." "I didn't want to take advantage of you. If I'd asked, you probably would have said yes but I wanted it to come from you. I wanted you to realize you wanted me too." "I here now and I want to be here. I don't know how this is going to affect our working life though." "Let's not worry about that. I say we live the weekend then concern ourselves about our professional lives on Monday. And speaking of living the weekend." Reaching over to the bedside lamp I switch it on filling the room with golden light. We both squint a little at the sudden absence of darkness. With me I bring back our box. `We've had two of yours so far Monica, it's about time one of mine came out." "As long as it's not running a marathon, sky diving or skinny dipping in the local swimming I'll be happy." John laughs at my train of thought. "Why didn't I think of the skinny dipping one." "What makes you think it's not in here already." It's my turn to laugh especially after seeing John's shocked expression. "Okay, here's one. It's one of yours all right." I smile just at the thought of it and am relieved it's something we can do right here in the warmth. "Come on, which one? Is it the one we do it on my desk at work?" "John, you haven't." This time he laughs at my expression. "Oh well we'll get to that eventually." He has an expression that I can't interpret. "Read it out Monica." "I want to run my fingers everywhere over your body finding your weak spots." "Oh that one." The grin on his face is priceless. He takes the box and paper out of my hand and leans over me to replace them on the small table. "Light on or off?" I ask him. "On, I want to see what I'm doing and I want to see your beautiful body while I'm doing it." "Ooh John, I'm tingle already with anticipation." "I hope so because by the time I'm through here I expect your body to be racked with pleasure more than once." "Is that a promise?" Without any more words his hands direct me. ..................... He rolls me over onto my stomach and I rest my head on the pillow and close my eyes just waiting for what he's going to do. It's been a long time since I felt a man's hand on me. Brad doesn't count. He was out of my love life two years ago even if I wasn't out of his. He lightly straddles me and I can feel him sitting over the back of my thighs. His eyes are almost burning the parts of my body he is looking at. I know he's looking because it's taking him a few long seconds to touch me. His fingers run through my hair first and then begin a journey down my body lightly touching each part as they go. I jump as he runs pressured fingers down my spine especially when he get to the bass. "You like that Monica? I told you I'd find your weak spots." All I can do is hum knowing he'll find many more too. He replaces his fingers with his tongue which I knew he'd do sooner or later and he runs up my spine with the hot wet sensation. When he reaches my neck he moves away the hair and plants tiny kisses all the way to my cheek and ear. His body warmth is so close as he lies over me and I can feel that he is already aroused from even this little foreplay. His hands direct me to lie on my back again and the anticipation of what he will do next almost overwhelms me. My breathing is becoming more and more ragged as he covers more of my body. Once again he sits on my thighs and leans forward tracing over my face. When he gets to my mouth it involuntarily opens and he runs a finger over my lips eliciting a slight aroused moan. His finger is replaced with his lips and we once again kiss feverishly. I try to tell him I want him in me but all that comes out are rumbles from my throat. He breaks the kiss and we both breath heavily as I wait for his next action. His hands resume their travels from my mouth, over my neck to my cleavage. As he cups my breasts he flicks his thumbs over my already hardened nipples and I almost see him smiling through my closed eyelids. "John," I gasp. My legs want to open but they are stopped by his sitting position on me. "I want you now please." "Uh uh," he teases and runs fingers over my stomach then through my pubes. I feel him sit next to me as he feels all over my legs and then my feet squashing each toe in turn. This is the chance for me to open up to him. "I can't take this much longer." "You mean you want me to stop?" He ceases all movement and I open my eyes to see him grinning widely. "Go on beg me." "Please John make love to me." I reach for his arm to pull him into me but he is too strong. "Not good enough. That was a whine. I want true begging." He runs his fingers up my inner legs and when he gets to my thighs my body starts to almost move uncontrollably from his superb touch. "Okay John, just fuck me please. I want you now." This seems enough because I feel him urge me once again to roll onto my stomach. "All fours Mon." As I comply he moves my knees further apart and then his hot breath is between my legs. The feel of his tongue moving on my very aroused clit is indescribable. He runs his tongue in circles then pokes inside me. It only takes a few more strokes to feel the start of my orgasm. "John, ....inside .. me.... please." He chooses not to listen but continues until he feels the exquisite pulses on his tongue. The sensation is so intense and lasting that my whole body spasms. Only when I feel the final embers calm down does he stop. "That's more like it." He's obviously pleased with himself that he can make me come like that but he doesn't know all the fantasies I've had of him doing just that. My legs and arms are too weak to hold me up so I flop on the bed and he lays next to me. The way he's not forcing himself on me is so sweet. All he wanted was to please me. "Come on Mon, let's get some sleep. Looks like we're going to need all the stamina we can harness for what I have planned." "Oh, care to give any hints?" "That would spoil half the fun." I smile at his lovely face then make one last effort to picture it in my mind before switching off the light. We lie close together and I can still feel him stiff between us and just know I want to help him out. I could never let this chance go to waste. ............................ We haven't had the amount of sleep we'd planned and we're awake in the morning still a little sleepy. "Morning lover." I look into his face and an overwhelming calmness overcomes me. Here I am in bed with my favorite person in the world. It's taken a long time to get this far but it's been worth the wait. The way he has treated me, the way he has responded to our sexual needs has been better than perfect. He smiles and then cuddles me and I know he has been thinking about me too. "So Mon, I think it's my turn to pick." "Well I hope it's something to do with water on our bodies, I'm desperate for a shower." "Let's see shall we." As he leans over me his chest lightly touches my face and I kiss him there. "If this is anything to do with sex Mon I'm not sure I could cope." "If it is to do with sex I'm willing to bet I could do something to get you going again." "I can tell you're hell bent on wearing me out this weekend." "That's the whole idea. Come on, what does it say?" He chuckles this time but I'm not sure whether it's his own suggestion or one of my more cheeky ones. "What does it say John?" "It says, `Monica, I want you to make a dirty phone call." I can't believe my ears. "A dirty phone call? To whom?" He's still laughing as he answers, "To anyone. I want to hear you talk dirty to someone on the phone. Ring up an ex boyfriend." "John, I wouldn't know what to say." He leans into me and kisses me and speaks with that magic voice of his. "Don't worry I can give you some pointers." As if on cue my telephone rings beside the bed. "Let's make it this person shall we." The fire in his eyes tells me that this must be one of those fantasies he's been having. "What if it's a girlfriend of mine or even worse, Kersh." "I'm sure you'll think of something." I hesitantly pick up the receiver. "Hello?" "Monica, it's me." John is mouthing `who is it?' in front of me but I'm not going to tell him just yet, choosing to let him sweat a little instead. "What do you want so early Sunday morning. I was sleeping you know." "What were you dreaming about Monica? Was it me?" "I always dream about you on Sunday mornings." I lie but am beginning to enjoy this deception. It could be taken as a joke anyway. "Tell me about your dream." "Okay but first, where are you at the moment?" "I'm lying in bed thinking about you. I wanted to ask you out somewhere today but tell me your dream first." "It's a little embarrassing. Sure you won't be offended?" "Just tell me Monica, you know me, I don't embarrass easily." Not wanting John to see my expression I roll over to face the wall but as I do I feel his hand on my back gently stroking. His touch sends tantalising tingles down my body that starts the breathing going, getting me into the perfect mood for this dirty phone call. "You're in bed with me and we're naked together just having had a night of pure sex." "Do you dream like this about me often?" "Like I said, every Sunday morning." John's touch moves from my back now and around to my breasts where he fondles them leaving me almost breathless. His warm breath is in my hair. "Tell me more. What do we do then?" "You're touching my breasts with your fingers and then move in to kiss and suck them." The phone is silent and I know he's thinking about what I've said and maybe getting a little aroused. The fingers move to my ass now and I proceed to talk on the phone about exactly what John is doing to me. "Then you're playing with my ass and running your fingers over and in between the crack." John moves my top leg forward and pushes my hip a little and begins to stroke my inner thighs. His breath is becoming more pronounced on my hair and my words can hardly come out. "Monica, then what?" "You're fingers.....play..... with my thighs." I pause as John's fingers find their way between my legs from the back. "Then...you're masturbating me...." His fingers run circles around my clit and it takes me a number of heavy breaths before I can say much more. "This is a very erotic dream of yours. Is someone there with you?" John then pushes a finger inside me and twirls it around making my heart pound heavily in my chest. "Your finger goes inside me.... then another." John now pushes three fingers in me and pumps them in and out. His little finger lightly touches my clit and his thumb makes its way to feel over my anus. "Monica, is someone doing all this to you?" While his fingers pump he hooks his thumb a short way into my anus. I've never had anyone finger fuck me quite like this before. It's so erotic; he's a marvel the way he does this to me. "Ahhhhh...now..you have three...fingers in me and I'm......about to come." With those words John pulls his fingers out of me and moves into position so I can feel his dick on my opening. "You are ready.... to fuck me. Ahhhhhhh." John pushes into me with force and the phone drops to the floor. Not having the energy or inclination to pick it up I let John move in me. I hear some muffled noises from the receiver but my mind is on the feel of John's dick inside me, probing me into dreamland. Both of us are so worked up that it doesn't take long for us both to come. As the cascade washes over me I let out moans I've never heard myself make before. The feel of him pulsing inside me seems to prolong my bliss and my moans go even deeper. He kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear, "That was wonderful." We fall together snuggling closely until we once again catch our breath. I'm now aware that the phone is on the floor and I can hear some sounds from it. "Are you still there?" "Monica, what just happened?" "You just fucked me in my dream and I had the most amazing orgasm. Look Brad, can I call you back? I suddenly feel the need for a cigarette." Not giving him time to respond I hang up and we both keel over with laughter. "I thought you weren't up for sex right now John." "You're the one who said you're willing to bet you could get me going again. Well you won the bet." "So you knew who it was?" "I had a pretty good idea. I'd love to see the look on his face now." John never did hit it off with Brad right from the very first time they met. I can see from John's face that he's very pleased with himself on two accounts, giving back Brad some of his own medicine and having one of his fantasies fulfilled. ..................... "No more sex!" Doggett says as I choose another activity. "Well if half of yours are to do with sex just like mine then there's a fifty-fifty chance that this will be more hanky panky John. You want to stop this game?" "No, we're having too much fun. Like you I hope it's something to do with showering and dressing. Food would be good too." I pull out the next piece and unfold it. "Well I don't know how we're going to work this one John." "Why? What does it say? Is it one of mine?" "Where are we going to find a hot tub John?" He smiles. "I can tell you haven't been to my place much." I love the way he smiles. Until this weekend I'd only seen it rarely. He is usually so serious. He is certainly relaxed in my company. By the end of this weekend we will know so much about each other that I wonder if there will be anything left to discover. I grin knowing that we have both lived many years and experienced so much in life that we could talk endlessly to each other. I also hope that we will live many more years together into the future. That conversation is something I will keep for another time. This man in bed with me is still getting used to admitting his feelings for me. He probably doesn't need to also discuss a long-term future with me just yet. "Don't tell me you have one." "Yes, on the back patio. I don't get to use it as much as I'd like. Wanna try it out?" "Love to. My weekends aren't usually this eventful." "It also gives me a chance to get some clean clothes. We could grab some breakfast on the way." "Sounds good to me, so what do we wear?" He moves closer and once again we feel skin next to skin and shared warmth. His sandy voice in my ear is something I've always wanted to hear up close and now I've heard it many times in the last ten hours. I feel special. How has he learnt to use this asset of his? "I'd prefer we wear nothing but I have some nosey neighbours." "So what do you do at your place to make them want to watch?" My eyebrows are raised and I'm keen to see his reaction. He laughs and responds, "There are a couple of teenage girls who probably like to see what an FBI agent does in his spare time." He nibbles my earlobe as he talks and perhaps doesn't realise he is beginning to make me want him again. He may be worn out from all the sex we've had recently but my fire is fuelled by all the years of wanting him. It is refuelling fast as he licks over the ridges and breathes hot air into my ear. "John, how do you do it to me?" "Do what?" He keeps licking hot sexy slurps on my ear. Does he know what he's saying and doing to me? He now runs kisses over my jaw all the way to my mouth. My mouth is addicted to his and opens as he once again moves over mine. His lips slide on mine and his tongue pushes inside to find its partner. Maybe he's wanted me too all these years. This hungry kiss tells me either that he has needed sex for so long or he has wanted me. Does he realise what advances like this lead to? Of course he does, I feel the evidence between us once again. "Hmmm, maybe we could give them a show?" My subconscious goes back to our previous comment while my body submits to his tongue and him once again. ..................... My swimsuit has been sitting in my drawer for a long time now. I can't remember the last time I wore it. I first saw it on display on a shop window mannequin and had to buy it. It's a one-piece black number that shows off all the right places without being too revealing. The silky smooth material makes me feel very sexy and I hope John thinks so too. I can't wait to see his reaction. I exit his bathroom to see him bending over his bed wearing just a deep blue fitted swimsuit. My eyes fixate on that ass of his and won't budge. It's the sort of ass you just have to touch. Well my eyes do divert for a moment to that back of his and then down to his muscular thighs. This reminds me to ask him about what he does to keep his body in such great shape. Thinking back to that body on me and in me draws me over quietly like a magnet. My hands lightly touch the fabric and he jumps. "Monica!" My hands stay firmly on his butt. "You're the one who was tempting me, bending over like that." "Why do women have such fixations with guys' butts?" "Not every guy's, your just cries out for attention." "Well you can give it more attention but first let's get to that tub, should be the right temperature by now." He moves backwards a little and looks down over my body. "Phew Monica," The expression on his face as his eyes move down slowly then up is one of pure lust, just the reaction I was hoping for. "Why haven't I seen that before?" "Because John, you've never asked me into your hot tub before." "Let's get down there then or that swimsuit will be coming off again." With that he grabs some towels from the bathroom and we head downstairs. We both slip into the heated bubbles with sighing sounds and just lie back for a moment luxuriating in the feel of the massaging streams over our bodies. "They're over there you know." "Who's over there John?" I follow his gaze to the side fence and realize who he means. "How old are the girls?" "Sarah's about fourteen I think and Melody's sixteen." He says this in a quieter voice not wanting them to hear and moves up a little closer to me. Just then we hear some giggles coming from their direction. "They are why I don't use this as much as I used to. They probably heard the motor running. They'll be having a field day with this. John Doggett the FBI agent has a woman in his hot tub." "Well if they're going to talk anyway maybe we should give them some juicy gossip." I'm feeling very wicked but also know that John still needs his reputation in tact. "We can't go there Monica, not with two pairs of under aged eyes watching." "I know, I wouldn't go there either not until we're inside later." He rolls his eyes but then smiles and I know he's also thinking about all the intimate contact they've had in such a short space of time. "So we'll just keep our voices down when the conversation shouldn't be something for their ears." He seems satisfied with that. ....................... "What would you like to talk about?" John says as he sinks a little further into the water and closes his eyes. "John, remember last night and the twenty questions?" "Uh uh, what about them? That was a doozy of yours Monica. You must tell me more of your fantasies like that." "I have plenty more where that came from but first, remember we still have one question each to ask? We didn't quite make it to twenty." "You wanna ask yours now?" He opens his eyes for a moment and looks at my face. "No, not yet. I'd like us both to think really carefully about our questions and ask them tomorrow morning before we go to work.." "Okay then." I can see him thinking not about his question but about what mine could be. "You're not going to put me on the spot with yours are you?" "John, these questions are the truth without the dare remember. We must answer each other truthfully, agreed?" "Agreed." He sinks back down again and I know that conversation has ended for now. "Babies," I say and hear some giggles again from behind the fence. John moves his head quickly to face me. "What?" "I just want to know if after Luke died did you think you'd want to have more children?" He almost looks a little relieved. What did he think I was going to ask? "Of course I've thought about it. I'd love to be a dad again but I'm probably getting a little too old." "John, you're not too old at all. Think about it. If you had a child now then he or she would be old enough to be independent when you're still in your sprightly fifties and you do keep healthy and in good shape." He gives me a sideways glance and I know he sees where this is going in my mind. "If I had a baby now? Where are you going with this Monica?" "I just think you'd make a great father. It'd be a real shame if you never had the chance again." "So are you offering?" "Offering John?" I know perfectly well what he means but I want to hear him say it. "Well there's certainly no-one else in my life at the moment who is going to start a family with me." "So you like the idea of having a family again?" "Yeah, I like the idea. I just never thought it could happen." He goes silent just watching me and I smile a little letting him stew on our conversation. "So how many children will we have?" John has that impish look on his face and I know he's asking this for the benefit of the listening ears. "Hmmm," I smile back and respond with equal mischief. "I always thought three was a good number. With two, if one child was away from home for some reason or in a bad mood at least the other would have someone to play with." John nods agreement. "Okay three it is then. How about we start right now?" Gasps and tittering can be heard from the fence. "Oh yes please." I say with the sexiest voice I can muster. ............................ I sidle over to him and he rests an arm around my shoulders then draws me into him. "Just play along." He whispers as he lifts me onto his lap and I straddle him. His hands running down my back and the feel of the hot bubbles all around make me feel like I'm floating on air. We share a moment once more gazing into each other's eyes. "I do love you John." I say with all the meaning I can find in my heart. He doesn't respond in kind just yet but I know it will all just be a matter of time. Our kissing reminds me of the dance floor at the nightclub last night. It is deep and slow and long. If he doesn't stop soon I'm going to want him here in the tub. The atmosphere is becoming even steamier than it was and I almost forget that there are two teenagers watching us. I break the kiss and whisper to him. "I can't do this John." He is moving his crotch into mine, which elicits a huge groan from me. Without faltering he pulls one of my swimsuit straps down and kisses my shoulder, then he does likewise to the other shoulder. If he doesn't stop soon we're going to be making love here in the water. With both hands he pulls down my swimsuit slowly to my waist revealing my heaving chest then lifts me a little so his mouth is level with my breasts. With his tongue he licks over and around one nipple and then puts as much in his mouth as he can and suckles. Luckily my back is towards the fence and the girls would only be able to see my bare back. I'm sure if they have an ounce of imagination they would know exactly what he was doing. He then moves to the other breast while my hands grab onto the side of the tub. "John," My voice is barely audible. "We should stop this." Again he refuses to listen and makes a hot trail with his tongue over my neck and chin back to my mouth. As I slide back into the water I sit on his very stiff erection. "We shouldn't do this." While he kisses he pulls my swimsuit further down until it is barely covering my ass. His hands go inside the fabric and start massaging my buttocks. "Take it off." John says with a low growl. That voice is so highly arousing I just have to obey. As I take my swimsuit the rest of the way off he takes his down until we are both bare. We throw the swimsuits over the side of the tub and hear the wet splat on the ground. We also hear some gasps from the fence and my mind becomes clearer for the moment. "I want this, I really do." His erection is just touching my clit and swaying oh so gently with the help of the bubbles. "We can't." My voice fades out as my legs give way and he enters me. There is a low rumble in his chest and I know he has enjoyed this initial union as much as I have. There is a voice in the distance and we hear the sighs of the girls. Looks like they've been called inside. What they're going to tell about this incident is furthest from my mind as I experience this wonderful love making in John's hot tub. As we feel the swirling inside and outside our bodies my mind goes through the whole of the Carl Orff's `O Fortuna' chorus building up slowly from the start to its dramatic end. The rhythmic pounding of the timpani is our bodies meeting, the choir singing is the blood rushing through my body and all the other instruments are the tiny bubbles beating on our skin. The final chorus plays as my body is racked with pleasure. The music ends and the audience applaud when I feel John underneath me losing all control. As the audience leaves satisfied about the performance John and myself kiss until he slowly slips out of me. "Monica, we won't need to do this anymore, that was good enough to make triplets." He smiles contentedly at his joke. "We can have our three babies all in one hit." "That's not how it works John." "It's not?" The way he acts all innocent is so cute. "C'mon John, I'm going to be a shrivelled prune if I stay in here much longer. Let's get dressed and read the next adventure." "I hope we can stay here at my place for a little while. Monica, to tell you the truth I'm beat." "What? All we've done is watched the stars, slept and made love and you're beat? It's not as though you've just run a marathon John." "This has been a marathon compared to my normal microwave meals and watching cable." I laugh as I try to get out of the tub. Almost slipping back in I too see that the events of the weekend are taking their toll. .................... Once dressed it's John's turn to choose what we do next. He almost looks as though he's praying before he reads, "It says, `Make a meal together'." "We have to eat at some stage," I respond. "I was worried we'd have to go a day without food when we need to replenish out energy." "A suggestion Monica, how about we leave that one for later. A nice dinner is something we could look forward too." "Good idea, in this case the rules can be bent a little. Okay, my turn then." Swirling the contents around the small box the next folded paper square is chosen. John must see my puzzled yet amused expression. "What is it?" "It reads, `Wash John's truck'. That's a bit sneaky." I look up to see him grinning once more. "My plans were to wash it this weekend anyway, thought I'd pop that one in. Two can wash it twice as fast. I'll go get the buckets and back the truck out." He laughs as he leaves. He takes off his T-shirt and hangs it over a chair then heads to the back door dressed just in his shorts. Car washing is not my favorite pastime but at least it was unexpected and could sort of be fun with someone else. Taking off my shoes and socks and rolling up my pants to my knees I hear John calling my name from the front of the house. That was quick. He hands me one of the buckets and points to the outside garden tap. "The car cleaning stuff is already in the bucket and I have a sponge for you." His bucket is already full and I see the soapy fluid sloshing as he dips in his sponge then applies it liberally to the front of the truck. Once I'm ready I start at the back. It's not really very dirty from the road but I can see that John is a fastidious person when it comes to order in his life. This is probably a once a week ritual no matter how few times it's been on the road. There he is bending over again. A light sheen of sweat is just starting to form on his back. This gives me a wicked idea that would make this chore much more fun. My sponge is thoroughly soaked as I creep up to him. Squeezing out all the water out over and down his back I watch his reaction and then run back to my end of the truck laughing wildly. "Monica!" He's after me now with his own revenge and I have to try and avoid him. "That wasn't fair," he says with mock anger. Darting around the other side John is too quick for me and beats me. He pulls my shirt open to release the water over my chest when we hear a sound. "Hello." We both turn instantly John still holding the front of my shirt. "John, I heard you out here so I thought I'd say hello." ............ "Oh Suzie, I didn't hear you there." He releases my shirt obviously hoping that this woman hadn't seen. She looks across to me and narrows her eyes a little. Is she uncomfortable about my presence? John looks from Suzie to me. "This is my friend Monica. Monica, this is my next door neighbor Suzie." I extend my hand to her, which she takes but only weakly then looks across to John. "The girls told me you were here with someone." Reading her reactions to this situation I can tell she's probably a single mom raising those two girls and has most likely had designs on her handsome, eligible neighbor for some time. "What else did they tell you?" John glanced over to me then back for the response. "That you were doing things together in your back yard." "Doing things Suzie?" She was looking uncomfortable about saying this but she obviously needed to come out with it. "They said you were having sex in your hot tub. Do you know what seeing that sort of thing can do to young minds?" I felt like saying that at least it was consensual and loving but decided to let John deal with this. "You had your girls spy on me again Suzie?" He said this in a light- hearted way. "You know there are privacy rules for people in their own homes." She was shifting her feet a little and John added. "You might just need to repair that hole in your back fence." Good on you John, put the onus on her to set boundaries for her own children. After all it is her problem and not John's. "Okay, I just thought I needed to talk. I'll see to that hole. Have a nice day." She backs away half smiling. I nod and smile back as she leaves. "Well that was interesting." I break the momentary silence. "Interesting? That was the best damn bit of timing. Now maybe I'll get a little bit of peace in my own backyard. That was the perfect opportunity to tell her about her two little peeping Toms." He walks over to the bucket to replenish his sponge. "Now where was I?" He goes to wash the truck again but instead looks across to me with a gleam in his eye. "No!" I yell as he once again chases me around the truck. "You started this girl." This time he catches me again and squeezes the waters down inside my blouse. "Now we're even, agreed?" "Even." I lie. When he's back to washing I go and get the garden hose and turn it onto a steady stream and begin rinsing off the soapsuds he's created on the hood. When he least expects it I turn it onto him much to his surprise. The mock anger is rising again but I'm soaking him through and through with all the water. My laughter must be heard from down the street. "Monica, I swear....!" He's coming towards me getting wetter and wetter and I back away. I just know he's faster than me and the inevitable will happen soon but I don't care. "Oh John, you look good all wet." "Do I, and what about you Monica? I'll have to test that theory on you too." "No! No!" The mock fear in my voice masks the wild anticipation I have for what he's going to do. Once cornered he grabs me, then pulls the hose from my grip, and pins me up against the side of the garage. "You're a naughty girl Monica, and naughty girls need to be punished." He presses his body into mine and kisses me desperately on the lips. My heart is thumping wildly and then I feel the water is soaking into me too. By the time he breaks free he has a victorious expression and we are both totally soaked and dripping. "Go on in and change Monica, I'll finish up here." "But these are my only clothes. I'll have to borrow something of yours while these dry." He nods and I feel his eyes watching me as I leave. The thought of rummaging around in his room for something of his to wear is exciting me more with every step. ............................ Looking in the mirror I see myself dressed in John's white v-necked T- shirt and plaid boxer shorts. They are a little loose on me but the thought of his body having been also in these clothes makes me feel a little giddy. The sound of a door closing down below sends me to the top of the stairs. He looks up and has to comment. "Hmmm, are they *my* clothes. They certainly look better on you than me." The journey down the stairs seems like a catwalk and he whistles and wows. "We're going to have to wash the truck more often." When I get to the bottom step something catches my foot and I topple forward. Before I know it I'm in John's arms. "Are you all right Monica?" I'm a little dazed thinking about what just happened but soon I realize that he is holding all my weight. I feel at his mercy and it's wonderful. He lifts me to a standing position and looks into my eyes still with arms wrapped around me. "What just happened?" When he knows I'm on both feet he leans down and retrieves one of my shoes, which must have slipped out of my hands as I'd carried them up the stairs earlier. "You shouldn't leave these lying around. What would you have done if I weren't here to catch you?" "I'd be one big heap on the ground I suppose. Thankyou John." His arms still encircle me and I give him a kiss on the lips. "This weekend has been wonderful. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget you John." He is looking sweetly into my face then speaks softly looking every so often at my lips as though he's going to kiss them any moment. "I could kick myself for not doing this sooner. How could I possibly believe we could keep this simple? I want this to work out Monica, with our work lives and our private lives." "Me too, you don't know how long it's been waiting for you to say those words." Without waiting for him I move in to kiss him. It's so warm and snug and secure in his arms. It's then I realize I'm starting to become wet again and I move back. "John, you're still wet." He laughs at my expression. "Yes, I'm still wet, I haven't had time to change yet. Thought you'd noticed." He's laughing so hard now at my expense. "Thanks a lot. You did that on purpose so I'd give you another show of wearing your clothes." "Now that's a good image." He says teasing me by moving closer. "So what other clothing of yours would you like to see me wear?" "Is this part of the twenty questions?" He smirks. "No, we talked about that before, not until tomorrow. Come on give me your answer." He reaches closer and with a quiet voice says, "One of my dress shirts with nothing underneath." He raises his eyebrows waiting for my response. "Hmm, now why did I think you'd say that. Okay maybe while we're making dinner later." His face shows he likes that idea. As I head to get the box of suggestions he talks, "Monica if you wore that while we were cooking we could use our body heat to cook the food." "Okay then, that would save on the fuel bill." John automatically knows it's his turn to choose. This is always the fun time finding out what are the next instructions. He looks at me with a bemused expression and I know it must be either one of his or one of mine that he likes. "It says, `Answer in detail a personal question of each other'. So Mon, how personal do you want it?" "You can ask me anything at all and I need to explain every detail to you." "Okay, let me think about it while I get some dry clothes." "Want a coffee or beer or something?" He looks at his watch. "To hell with it, a beer thanks Mon. Be back soon." He takes two steps at a time up to his room. ........................... I'm settled on the couch when John comes down dressed in a T-shirt and track pants with bare feet just like me. I pat the seat next to me and hand him his beer. "Thought about it? You want to go first?" "I'll go first because I want to see how much detail you give." He winks and then starts. "This is very personal so I'll understand if you don't want to talk but I want to know." "No, I'm committed to this John, ask me anything." "You asked for it. Come here." He rests a leg along the crease of the couch and encourages me to turn and lie back on him. His arm holding the beer lies along the top of the couch and his other arm encircles me as I lay both legs stretched out in front of me. "I want to know about the very first time you slept with Brad." Now that's something I hadn't expected him to ask. "What was it like Monica?" This could be quite good. My lips curl a little just thinking about it. "You really want to know, it won't make you jealous?" "Only if you plan on repeating it with him." He feels the vibration of my laughing on his chest. There is a moment's pause while I think how I will start. "Well I didn't actually sleep with him as such until about the fifth time." "The fifth time! My god Mon. Where did you do it?" "Various places, just not in a bed." "The first time he'd asked me to his office to go through the report of a case we'd been working on. He encouraged me sit to his desk and he was looking over my shoulder. It was a case that required us to go undercover in a strip club. We both had jobs behind the bar and I'd noticed his eyes were understandably lingering quite often over to the stage. It was actually making me hot and bothered too but I didn't tell him that. We'd closed the case that day and were writing the report late into the evening. I think it was all too much for him and he pulled my hair back and started licking my neck as I read the report out to him." As I speak I gently caress John's kneecap with a finger. "You're silent John." "I'm listening, keep talking. After he licked your neck?" "I had to stop reading because of the distraction. It was only a matter of time before we made first contact. He'd been coming onto me for a while but I had a conscience about relations with work partners." "Hmmm," John chuckled. "I lay back in the chair and he proceeded to undo my blouse buttons and slipped his hand inside." My fingers are lightly stroking John's thigh through his pants as I continue. "While he kissed my mouth he undid my bra clasp at the front and peeled it away exposing my breasts." John's breath on my hair is becoming hot which urges me on. "He pulled at my shirt wanting me to take it off." I show him by slowly taking of my T-shirt exposing my bare breasts. "Brad then massaged my breasts and teased the nipples." I demonstrate this to John as I talk. "Then his hand moved to my pants and undid the buttons and pulled down the zip. I wriggled out of my pants and they dropped to my ankles. His hand pushed my thighs apart and then nimble fingers went to between my legs." John is getting quite aroused by this as evidenced by his breathing in my hair and the erection I feel pushing against my ass. He doesn't know how much this is turning me on too just talking about sex like this. My hand goes to the waistband of the boxers I'm wearing and slips down inside. My underwear is still drying so I'm not wearing any. As I proceed to tell John about what Brad does with his hands I do the same with mine. "Brad ran fingers over my clit and I know I was wet for him." My breathing and talking begin to become staggered as my arousal also grows. "I want to see." John whispers hotly in my ear. As I lift my hips he helps take down the boxers so they are also around my ankles. I proceed to masturbate while John watches. "I want to see you come with your own fingers Mon." One hand rests on my thigh and I can tell it's hard for him not to replace my fingers with his own. My body moves and my groans become more strained. "Oh Mon, show me how you came for Brad?" I hardly hear him as my body begins to shudder and spasm. "Yessssss, let it all out. I want to smell your sex with Brad." This continual talk is making me come and come and I squeal as I'm at the painful brink and then hold my breath. "Oooooh, Monica! You are so beautiful. What happened then?" He waits while I finally breath and then calm. "He lifted me up and placed my hands on his desk, spread my legs and did me doggie style." "Did you come again?" "Yes, as he pounded into me he worked on my clit and I couldn't help but go through it all again." "Okay John, it's your turn now." Feeling a little chilly I put on my T-shirt back on but know it will be off again very soon. ................................... "You kept up your end of the bargain Mon so I'll keep mine. Ask away." I move my body around to face him so I can ask him directly into his eyes. "I have a combined question John, is that okay?" "I suppose as long as it's related." "Uh uh. When we were working on Luke's case did you ever want me?" "Want you?" "Sometimes when I thought we were getting closer you seemed to suddenly back off." That has made him think. This is something I've wanted to ask him for years but there was never the opportunity. "I didn't want to hurt you Monica." "Hurt me? You know I loved you even then." "And that's what I mean. I knew you were getting closer to me but the time wasn't right. I was still married then." "But your marriage was breaking up." "It may have been breaking up but it was still salvageable in my eyes. If I'd had a relationship with you it would have been wrong." "So if you weren't married would you have gone further with me?" "Yes, I suppose I would have. Monica, believe me it was the way to go then. Even if I went back I wouldn't have changed a thing." I feel a little hurt at his revelation but am also glad we can be honest with each other. "When you were in bed at night next to Barbara did you dream about me?" "Yes," he says softly. "What did you dream about? I hope it was carnal." "Yes," This is even softer. "Come on John, I want details remember." "I could only resort to dreams Monica, please don't be angry with me." "I would never be angry with you John. You don't realise how much I just wanted to hug you and love you. I wanted to absorb your pain for you. Remember that time we had to share a motel room because it was the last one left? I was awake half the night weighing up whether to slip into the bed with you." "And I wanted you too but I'm glad you didn't, not then." There is a moment's silence. .......................... "Come on, we're getting off topic here. I want smutty details about what you did to me in your dreams." I curl up in his lap with my head on his chest and wait. As he speaks I feel the mesmeric vibrations on my head. "Remember it was only a fantasy and not real." My head nods on his chest. "Barbara and my self are lying in bed and she's asleep next to me. I look at the clock and it's twelve midnight. The bedroom door opens and I look over to see that it's you. I get out of bed trying not to wake my wife and I take you by the hand and we make our way to the spare bedroom. I pick up the remote control next to the bed and switch the record button for the video camera set up in the corner of the room." As John speaks his hand plays with the hem of the my T-shirt and his fingers lightly touch my ass. "Go on John, does Barbara wake up?" "No, we make sure we're very quiet." "So we're going to fool around in your bed when your wife's in the other room?" "I look back and see that it was the only way I could handle losing Luke and then losing her. I was bitter towards her I suppose. It was the punishment I couldn't give her in real life." "Go on, tell me more then. What do we do for the camera?" "Very quietly I lie you on the bed then move in next to you and we kiss." "What is it like kissing me?" "It's sweet and warm and soft." I figure he has his eyes closed imagining. "I slowly undress you and as I do I plant kisses on every inch of bare skin I uncover. Then you do the same for me until we are both bare. I can still feel your warm lips on me." His hand is now under my T-shirt feeling over my breasts and I feel that familiar tingle my body gets when it's ready for sex again. My head lifts off his chest and our eyes meet. "I need you to show me John. Show me exactly what we did in your fantasy." Getting up off the couch I take his hand and lead him upstairs to the spare room. I close the blinds on the window to darken the room then we lie close together on the single bed. His hand goes under my T-shirt and he plays with my back as he talks. "Let's get undressed, I want to feel your skin next to me now, just like I imagined then." As we each take off our clothes I can see that he is more than ready to make love to me. "I then roll you over to face away from me and we spoon together." As he talks his hands direct me. "The camera can see me feeling over your breasts and you groaning silently and writhing from the pleasure of my touch. Then my fingers go down and move your upper leg so that I have access." I move my leg so that his imaginary camera can see his hands at work. His large fingers do things to me mine could never do. He slides two fingers over the hard nub still wet from my previous orgasm but becoming even more wet from his touch. "Keep talking John, it's very erotic." "I move my fingers gently over you and am feeling thrilled that you are so wet just for me." My hips are thrusting willing him to enter me. As if reading my mind he pushes those two fingers inside me and finger fucks while his thumb pressures my clit. "I imagine what the camera will see and I have to be careful I don't come in the bed next to my wife. Usually by this time I have to have a shower to finish off my fantasy without embarrassment." "John, this is making me so hot for you." My breathing is rapid now and he knows it. "I try to think of the best love-making position for the camera to see everything going on between our legs. I want to cherish these moments for later. I start off rolling you back around to face me then lift your upper leg up to expose you once again to the camera then I plunge into you from the front." As he talks he still directs me and I feel his thick shaft pushing inside me once more. It's hard not to make any noises so I let out a few whimpers which I expect him to stop. He also begins groaning with each thrust and I know that in his fantasy we are also becoming more vocal. "Then Monica...you get on top.... of me." I do so keeping his dick deep within me, then start bouncing as he thrusts. The camera is certainly getting an eyeful of what is very explicitly going on. "I can't....... hold on." I feel sudden warmth inside me and know that John has come. It's his fantasy being relived so I forgive him for not waiting for me. Even as his orgasm is subsiding his fingers go to my hard nub once more and massage. My arms are either side of his body and can hardly hold myself up but I concentrate hard on his fingers below. Once again the wash of pleasure overtakes me. It never ceases to amaze me how he makes me feel, how he makes me come so easily. "Monica, this is so good. After we both are sated my wife has heard our sex sounds and enters the room. Seeing us totally bare on the bed and me still inside you with my hand also between your legs she gasps and runs down the stairs and I hear the front door slam." "Oh my John, so she catches you having just been fucked by another woman in your own home." "I've never told a soul about that. I'm certainly glad I just told you." My hand traces the muscles of his chest. "I want to hear more of these Mr Fantasy Man." "After what just happened now, there's no doubt I'll tell you more." "Hmmm." The ambience of the moment, the warmth of being in my man's arms in a snug bed and the lack of sleep the previous night we fall asleep together. ........................... ~~~The cooking a meal together suggestion is thanks to Scifinerdgrl. The dessert suggestion is by Megs - she amazes me with her fic writing. I only wish I was half as inspired at her age. Go and read `The Spirit Room' at this link - Thx Megs.. http://forums.prospero.com/foxxfiles/messages?msg=89421.1 ~~~ ............... Where's John? I wake from our nap to an empty bed and a quiet house. The t-shirt is on the floor. After putting it on I go downstairs to find the boxers and John. Now fully clothed I find the house is truly empty. "John, are you here?" There's no answer so I head outside first the front then the back of the house but he's simply not there. The clock says it's five in the afternoon; I've been napping for almost three hours. Padding into the kitchen to get a glass of water I notice a message on the fridge. < "Yum," I find myself saying out loud. Just then the front door opens and I go out to see my lover with shopping bags in each arm. "Good you're up. How long did you sleep?" Taking one of the shopping bags we kiss then I head for the kitchen. "I just woke up. How long have you been gone?" I begin to unpack the bag. "So you didn't have time to miss me?" "I miss you even when you have to visit the bathroom." He places his bag on the kitchen bench and takes me in his arms. His body so close to mine once again suddenly gives me a vision of tomorrow in our office hankering to touch each other but not being able to. "You don't have to miss me, I'm here now and don't want to leave you Monica." He leans down and gives me the sweetest kiss on the lips pulling me in so close I feel as if I'm part of him. When we pull away we're both breathless. The way he looks in my eyes I know he loves me now. It's only a matter of time before he tells me so. "John, I love you so much, I can't tell you how much." He hugs me once more for a long time before he lets go. He's still not saying it. What is he thinking? He takes a deep breath. "C'mon, let's get cooking." He begins to unpack his bag. "So what do you think of the chef's suggestions?" "Very tasty, I didn't know you could cook like this." "I can't but it's the motivation that counts." He goes over to another bench and brings back the recipe book. There are two post-it notes marking some pages. He opens the first one. "I suggest we make the ice-cream first so that it's refreezing while we make the chicken." "This all sounds delicious." On one part of the bench we set aside the chicken ingredients. "Okay, the book says to mix the partly thawed ice-cream with chopped nougat. So Monica you start chopping and I'll get a mixing bowl. I find a sharp knife and a chopping board and begin my task. I can't help but pop some of the sweet mixture in my mouth. "Mmmm, delicious." As I pop another piece in I ask John if he wants some. "Sure." He takes me by surprise when his hand goes gently to my neck and he pulls me in for a kiss. When his lips meet mine our mouths open and we end up sharing the nougat that's in my mouth. "Mmmm, I see what you mean." He puts a piece in his mouth this time and shares his with me. Talk about a sweet kiss. This is sensuous and truly sharing. "John, if you don't stop this now we'll end up doing it on the kitchen floor." "Promise?" He gives me one last kiss and smiles. "Well we've christened the hot tub and the spare bedroom why not the kitchen floor." "I think I'd prefer to christen your bedroom first. I have my priorities right." We both laugh and get back to the meal preparation. We know there'll be plenty of time later to do all the christening we want. "Okay, the nougat goes into the ice-cream here." He looks at the book. "...and then we add the rum." Once it's all mixed thoroughly we add it back to the original container for refreezing. "It also says here Mon, that `It's a very exotic dessert. In France, it is tradition on a couple's honeymoon to eat this because it is said to be arousing'." "Well I can tell why. We're just going to have to test that out later." I wink at him and he gives a curl of his lip. "Now for the Creole Chicken." He opens the book up at the other post- it. "It says here to `roll the chicken pieces in egg then breadcrumbs'." He gets the chicken out from its container while I prepare the coatings. "Now we have to brown the chicken. Mon, how about I do that and can you chop up the other ingredients? It says here we add the onion, garlic and green peppers first then the mushrooms and cook for three minutes. Then add the can of tomatoes with the juice and a tablespoon of mild chilli powder. Later we add the flaked almonds." "It all sounds so tasty." The smell in the air as we cook reminds my stomach how hungry it is. While the chicken dish is simmering we open the bottle of white wine John has also bought and lean back on the bench sipping. "I can't wait to try this John. What made you decide on this meal?" He puts his glass down on the bench and moves around to face me leaning into me once more. "Hot and spicy just like you and this weekend has been." He growls as he speaks. "Hmmm, then maybe I'll let you taste me in the bedroom later." I growl back. "Oh, I plan on it. I will make a meal of your body tonight Ms. Reyes." If I wasn't so hungry and the meal had longer to cook we'd be up in the bedroom right away making a meal of both our bodies. ........................................... John spoons the last taste of my dessert into my mouth and I groan. "I'm so full after that delicious meal I don't think I could stand." "Then maybe I need to carry you to the bedroom?" John has a wicked gleam in his eyes. "As much as I would like sex this very minute can we wait a few moments for my stomach to settle?" My cheeks blow out to show how sated I am. He gets up and finds that familiar box. "There are still so many of these left. What should we do with them?" "Don't worry, they can still be put to good use. I suggest we pull one out every now and then when we're in the mood." "And," he adds. "Whenever we think of others we could add those too. Our lives will never be dull Mon." "So did you add any to do with sex in the workplace?" I see a glimmer in his eye knowing that he must have. "Maybe, did you?" "You must admit, the thought of getting away with having sex on the job is rather exciting. So if Skinner comes in while I'm blowing you under the desk how do you think you'd react?" His response fascinates me. "If you stay very quiet he probably won't even know you're there. He would be very puzzled about the expression on my face though." We both smile at the amusing thought. "It's my turn to choose I think John. One more before we go to bed?" "Only if it's something to do here. I'm so tired, I just want to stay home." "Okay, me too. If it's one outside the house we'll leave it for tomorrow?" "Fine by me." John nods in strong agreement. My hand goes in, shuffles them around a bit, and pulls out another mystery. Will it be one of mine or one of his? "It says, `I want to fulfil a fantasy of yours'." His eyebrows go up and I see a sparkle in his blue eyes. My mind goes haywire thinking what I can handle right now. "So tell me Mon. What comes to your mind first?" "A lot of my fantasies I don't think will ever happen John." "I know but I want to hear some. Come on, let's quickly put these dishes away and go up to the bedroom." He holds out his hand for mine to help me out of the chair. "My mind still hasn't settled on one. I may even let him choose." .............................. We lie on John's bed, under the covers, for the very first time. The times I've imagined myself being here have been many but they don't compare to the overwhelming feeling of love I have for this man now that I'm actually here. We once again face each other and I see that loving expression all over again. No I'm not going to force him to say it. Maybe he thinks it goes without saying and doesn't realize that I need to hear it too. "So have you thought about my request?" "Yes, but some of them are just not doable." "Tell me anyway." He's like an eager child waiting for his bag of candy. "Well I have one fantasy about doing it with two men." His eyes widen even further. "You mean two men at the one time?" "Yes, the thought of two mouths on me and two dicks in me at the one time is very erotic to me." He is looking pensive. What is he really thinking? "So who do you fantasize about?" He says slowly. "One is you of course but the other is faceless. There's no other real life person that I would choose to do it with." He looks a little relieved. "What about Brad? No don't answer that. I really wouldn't feel comfortable about that Monica, not just yet." "I know, I told you some may not be doable." He waits for me to continue. "I have another fantasy where I go to a bar dressed very provocatively and pick up two men and take them to a motel and you can guess what happens from there." "Monica, so you wanna be a whore?" He laughs at his own statement. "As I said, it's only a fantasy. In real life I'd be asking for all sorts of trouble. At least with fantasies we're the ones ultimately in control." "Well maybe we can act out that fantasy sometime. I can be waiting at the bar for you. Just imagine how we could get the room talking." "Hmm, John, that's naughty but I do like it." "What else?" "I've always liked the idea of rough sex, being taken by surprise by the man I love, my clothes ripped off and dirty sex talk. He takes total control and won't let me do a thing. He surprises me every step of the way." "You'd really want me to do that?" He's looking eagerly into my eyes. "I think I'd come even before you penetrated me John." He laughs again and I see that he likes that idea. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the need to be close to him again, to feel his skin against mine so I move in and pull up his t-shirt and feel over his back. Whispering in his ear I say, "Let me take control, I will guide you." "Okay," he also says softly. I kiss him on his soft lips then lift his t-shirt over his head and let it flop to the ground. Then my t- shirt comes off next so that our chests are exposed. As I kiss him this time I rub my breasts into his chest them roll on top resting my full weight on him. He is growing between us and when I sit up I feel his stiffness push into me through his pants. With his hands in mine I lift them to my breasts and he massages while I writhe on his cock. There is a faraway look on his face now and I know he's enjoying every minute of this. Pulling his pants slowly down his legs I let my fingers trace the outline of his hips and thighs. When my mouth passes his cock I kiss it lightly then give it a lick promising I will return. John gasps in ecstasy. Once his pants are off I take mine off too so that we are both bare. That's when I go back to his awaiting cock. Sitting beside him I lean over and take the head in my mouth. My right hand searches for his left and guides it to my ass. As I lick, suck and fondle his erection and balls his hand delves into my crack and searches for spots that elicit groans from my throat. Still with my mouth full of him I move my right leg over his chest to straddle him backwards. Releasing him for a moment I breathe, "Lick me John." I feel both his hands on my inner thighs pulling my legs a little further apart. Then his tongue is on me and I whimper as it glides deftly over my aroused clit. I've neglected him now for too long so I go back to sucking him. It's been so long since I've been in this sexual position with anyone but this feels so good. Each of us is pleasuring the other orally. I'm using long slow movements now and John's hips move up to meet me. At the other end his tongue does delectable circles around my clit and I feel his thumb penetrate me and move in and out. This is almost too much to take but then I feel a finger in my ass pushing gently at first, then go deeper. He's pumping with his thumb and finger in both my holes and licking my clit at the same time. It all feels like I'm up in the clouds. I'm determined now to go the whole way. I want to taste his seed in my mouth. Humming on him I suck him more quickly and he responds by bucking into my mouth. His tongue and fingers move more quickly his end too. I'm coming even before he does. As the feeling engulfs me I still must concentrate on what I'm doing to him. The spasming of my body that this man has been responsible for encourages me to put all my efforts into making him come soon. "Monica ... you don't ... have to." Relentlessly my tongue and mouth engulf him until his hips stop and then I feel the gush in my mouth. It's hard to keep up and some of his cum spills out of my mouth and onto his abdomen. I feel his fingers slip out of me as his body flops. Over and over it spurts into me and I take every last drop I can. Once his orgasm has passed I go and lick and suck on his stomach to make sure I've have every last drop of him. This is the only man in the world I would do this for. I rest my head on his abdomen until I'm ready to move again. "Oh Monica, you don't know how good that feels." "If it's anything like the way you made me feel then it's heavenly." "That could describe it." I lie back next to him with a pleased expression on my face. "That's been one of my fantasies with you for a while now." "I'm glad I could be of help." The grin is bigger. He pulls the cover over us and snuggles into me. "I want it to be like this forever Mon." His eyes close and his breathing begins to slow and I know he's going to sleep. "Me too." I say quietly to his sleepy ears. ..................... A single bird chirps outside the bedroom window signalling it is time to get out of bed and start the new day. Sitting up in bed I rub my eyes then stretch my aching muscles. The events of the last two days are taking their toll on my body. Memories of the reason for those aches and pains produces sweet images and I smile content that the man I love is slowly coming around to my thinking. Today will be the time for truth. Can we work together as lovers and partners? The weekend has been like a mini vacation that I'm reluctant to leave behind but life must go on. It was fun just living for the moment and not worry about the baggage of the past or the uncertainty of the future. Now it's Monday morning and reality is beginning to settle in. There's a hand brushing over my back and I know John is also awake next to me. "Good morning beautiful." The sweetest smile I know comes to my face as I see his still sleepy yet peaceful eyes below me. I roll over almost on top of him and give the most engulfing cuddle I can muster. He's firm yet soft in my grip: just the medicine to cure a small case of Mondayitis. Just knowing I will be with him all day brightens my mood. "So do we ring in sick?" His breath is teasing my hair. "I can just see it John. `Sir, I can't come into work today I'm suffering from too much sex on the weekend'." His laughter ruffles my hair again. "So what will I say then? `Sir, I'm not able to come into work today because I'm looking after Monica who's had too much sex'?" "Yes, that's sure to get us fired." I pause. "But it's worth a try." With resolve I reach over John's chest for the phone but his hand grips my wrist. "Don't even think about it." We both laugh. "It's off to work then." Pulling back the bed covers I begin to get out of bed but John pulls me to him again. "Monica, let's lie here a moment longer. Who's going to fuss if we're half an hour late." "Something on your mind John?" I lie down on my pillow facing him and pull the covers back over me. "There certainly is. These questions of your. They've been haunting me ever since you reminded me that we had one question each left from our game of Twenty Questions on Friday night." "Haunting you?" "Well not that bad, it's just made me do a lot of thinking. When I was out shopping for last night's dinner it gave me a lot of time to reflect and I've thought about my question to you." "You have? You want to ask it now?" "You did say Monday morning before work so now sounds the right time." "All right John do you want to go first?" I can see a little nervousness on his face and curiosity overwhelms me. My question is such a simple one but his seems much more complicated. "I'd like you to go first. What I'm going to ask may put a spanner in the works." "Really, you have me intrigued John. Okay, I'll go first but I don't need to remind you that we have to be honest with ourselves and to each other. I want honesty to be important in our relationship John." "I know and that's what you've taught me this weekend. I've told you so many things I haven't even admitted to myself let alone another." He leans in and gives me one solitary loving kiss on the lips, "...and I love you for that." "Did you say love me? Did I hear correctly?" I am now up on one elbow looking down into his expressive face. "Yes I love you Monica." "Well that's my question answered." I wait until he realizes. "You mean that was the question you were just going to ask? Am I in love with you? Do you want to ask another?" "John," I say softly a little closer to his face. "I am so happy that you've said that without me having to ask. It's such a relief and it's music to my ears. Say it again for me?" My whole body is humming with the sound of those few words from his lips. Finally he has admitted that he can love again after all this time and I'm glad it's me. "Monica, I love you with all my heart, body and soul and....." He hugs me tightly and plants kisses all over my face. Then we kiss for as long as it takes for all this to sink in. "Oh John, the way you kiss me, I want to be in bed with you all day. I want a whole day of just kissing." "That could be arranged for the future but not today. We need this reality check. We need to be at work together to see how this relationship manages itself. We'll not be able to give those looks or touches or anything that gives away that we're more than just work colleagues." "That'll be a challenge all right but it's worth it to be in your bed and arms later at night." Pausing for a moment and letting him know I have something more on my mind I add, "And..." "And?" "You said you love me then said `and' without finishing your sentence. Were you going to ask me your question John?" .......................... He gets out of bed and opens the top drawer of his dresser. My eyes can't help but follow that body, from those broad shoulders down to his delectable buns. He comes back carrying what looks like a small cardboard box. "John, I thought we'd agreed our relationship doesn't need condoms." He laughs and places the item near the telephone and gets back into bed. It takes him a while before he begins talking. "I don't want you to answer this question right away. I want you to listen to all I have to say first. You must promise me to think about your response carefully." "I promise." My curiosity has heightened once more. "Monica I want you to marry me." He places a finger on my lips as I gasp and am about to shout out. "Please listen to my reasons before you answer. I love you very much and it's taken me a long time to learn how to love again. I've held so much bitterness and pain in my heart with losing Luke and then as a result of that and other things losing a wife and marriage as well. My loneliness was my penance for pushing Barbara away I suppose. I was hell bent on finding my son and then when he turned up dead I couldn't live with myself." He waits a moment and I go to talk but the finger goes over my lips again, he hasn't finished. He's giving me time not to just jump in with my response; maybe he thinks that this discourse will convert me over. "I am forty-two and not getting any younger, you're thirty-four and still young enough to wait for the right person to come along and give you your three babies." We both smile at our shared joke. "I'm not asking you this because I feel I'm running out of options, please don't think that." I am shaking my head but he's still deep in thought. "I now know that I love you unconditionally and that I only want you to be with me eternally. I know now that I will never love another as much as I love you. Monica Reyes will you marry me?" I throw my arms around him and roll him around on the bed saying as many yeses as I can fit in. When we finally come to a stand still he smiles and says, "That's a yes then?" He has the biggest grin on his face and I know he's relieved at my response. "John, I never thought that would be your question. Maybe it could have been let's live together at the most, it's not like you John to jump in like that." "I'm not jumping in, I've thought about the idea over and over ever since I set eyes on you again. I wanted you four years ago but the timing was all wrong. The timing is right now and we should grab what life offers us now. This weekend has been a godsend for me." "Me too John. You don't know what it was like lying in bed on Friday night without you, without know how you felt." "I'm so sorry to have hurt you, believe me that was not my intention." With that he leans over to retrieve the small cardboard box. "I'd like you to have this Monica, it belonged to my grandmother. She gave it to me before she died saying that I was to give it to the person I was going to marry." He opens the box as he talks. "You don't have to have this one if you want something of your own. I won't be offended if you say no. We are being honest with each other." ............................ "Oh my god John, it's beautiful. Your grandmother's?" He produces an old eighteen carat gold engagement ring with five sparkling diamonds along the band, very simple but exquisite. He places it carefully over the ring finger on my left hand and pushes it on. To my surprise it fits perfectly. "Now I know this is a little too soon and that it may not be your thing but just wear it for now and you can get your own style later." "But John this `is' my style. I've always thought if I ever got married I'd either have no rings or I'd find an antique. It was to be something different from others. This is just perfect. What I can't understand is why didn't Barbara want it?" His eyes look down and I wonder what he will say. "I didn't offer it to her. I suppose I was a bit of a coward. She was a very contemporary person and I just thought that she wouldn't appreciate this. It's very sentimental to me and I wanted the person who wore it to be just as attached." "John, it's beautiful. Honestly it's just the ring I would choose and knowing it's part of you makes it so much more special to me." His face looks over mine and I know he sees my sincerity. "Oh Monica, you've made me one happy man." He hugs me and once again we find ourselves responding to the passion within us. We make love the first time as an engaged couple. ............................... Looking across to John driving I see him in a slightly different light. He's in his chalky black suit, pale blue shirt and dark blue striped tie. I've admired him many a morning dressed so neatly and scrumptuously but now this man is mine. For the first time we are partners and lovers on our way to work. My stomach produces a few butterflies thinking about how to behave at work. Will people notice? I absently fiddle with my new jewelry acquisition and John looks over. "You're thinking about work aren't you. Leave it on for now, you can always take it off before we go into the building." "I really want to wear it John, not for others to see but as a reminder of the huge commitment we've just made." "I know and we'll get to that. In the next couple of days maybe we can plan out what we do about this and how soon we tell people." He looks back to the road as we turn into my street. "Please let it be sooner rather than later. It's going to be hard to keep quiet over this. Lovers maybe but we're getting married." I just had to say it out loud. "Maybe we could tell Dana first? After all she's the next person who spends much of her time with us. We need to let her in on it." The truck pulls up outside my apartment and we both head inside. I open the door and walk towards the bedroom to gather some work clothes. "I won't be long, just make yourself at home John." He picks up a magazine and sits on the couch as I enter the bedroom. Going through my closet I pick out my black pantsuit and my pale yellow button up shirt. After finding some clean underwear I hurriedly get dressed so as not to keep John waiting and not be too late for work. As I put on my shoes and brush my hair I hear the front door bell ring. Who could that be at, I look my watch, seven thirty in the morning? Two men's voices can be heard in the living room. "Brad, what are you doing here?" I'm surprised by his unexpected presence here. "I was just about to ask the same of your partner here Monica." He turns to John. "So Doggett what brings you to Monica's place so early Monday morning? He pauses and adds, "Or have you been here since yesterday morning?" His face looks suspiciously from John to me. We both have very slight smirks. Then John talks, "No Follmer, we just got back from my place to pick up some work clothes for Monica, we're on the way to work now." I can see John had great delight in saying what he did. Brad is open-mouthed. "Why are you here?" Brad looks at me. "I came to take you to work today. Remember we were going to have a little breakfast together this morning?" We were? It had totally slipped my mind. I vaguely remember him asking me as I zipped past him when going to the rest room on Friday. "But I can see that you have changed our plans." He looks daggers at John. "Sorry Brad I really am but John's here now and we're running late. Lock up for us as you leave? Thanks Brad." As I go past him my left hand absently scratches my cheek giving him full view of my new engagement ring. A contented John ushers me out the door leaving behind a very peeved Follmer. "What?!" is the last thing I hear him exclaim as we head down the stairs and onto a whole new chapter of our lives. The End