TITLE: "IN OUT OF THE COLD" BY: X-Phan E-MAIL ADDRESS: xphan1013@yahoo.com RATING: NC-17 for explicit sexual situations CLASSIFICATION: SR, Story, Romance TIMEFRAME/SPOILER WARNING: As always, set before the last 2 seasons, during the "status quo" time before "the baby", Doggett, Mulder's abduction etc... but no serious spoilers. KEYWORDS: MSR SUMMARY: "A shiver broke his train of thought and reminded him once more of the cold. He had to get warm." ARCHIVE INFO: Can be archived anywhere as long as my name, address and disclaimer stay intact. FEEDBACK: Please email me with any comments, reviews, constructive criticism, etc... DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and the characters of Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. BETA-GIRL'S NOTE: Another wonderfully crafted, heartfelt piece of erotic fiction. My favorite part was when they were "doin' it" ___________________________________________________________ The X-Files: "In Out of the Cold by X-Phan *********************** "Wherever she is, there is eden." -Samuel Clemens *********************** Driftwood Motor Lodge Room 24 If only he had been a little better, a little faster, a little smarter... had gotten there a little sooner, that poor girl would be alive. But he wasn't, she wasn't. She was a cold as he felt now, staring up at the ceiling of the motel room. Another case gone bad, another life lost, as many as there were, this one wouldn't soon be forgotten. Even killing that evil piece of shit hadn't made him feel any better and it usually would have. It was just so cold, the sheets were cold, the room was freezing so much so that at 2AM he couldn't even escape into sleep. Mulder's half- conscious mind could only replay the events of the day yet again. A shiver broke his train of thought and reminded him once more of the cold. He had to get warm. There was one place that was always warm. On autopilot he got up from the bed and went to the connecting door. Hers was slightly ajar and he slowly opened it all the way. Stepping inside made him feel warmer already. He watched himself walk to the side of her bed and lift the covers just enough so he could slide under them and lie down next to her. She was on her side facing away and stirred for a second when his weight shifted the mattress. Gently Mulder rested his hand on her side just above her hip and his last thought was just how wonderfully warm it was. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Scully's first hazy thought when she awoke the next morning was that there was someone in bed with her. Turning around she confirmed that she was alone. She felt like she had had one of those dreams you really want to remember when you wake up but just can't. It was frustratingly out of reach. There was something though, she was alone in bed but didn't feel like it. Not certain if it had been part of that dream she couldn't remember, Scully thought the other pillow may or may not smell like Mulder. Chalking up her feeling to yesterday's disaster she got up and got ready, knowing Mulder would be coming to tell her when their flight leaves. There was a knock on her door twenty minutes later followed by the usual, "It's me." She opened the door to find a somber Mulder with a bag and two coffees in his hand. "Hey Scully, I got you a bagel, our flight leaves in an hour, ready to go home?" "Yeah let me get my suitcase. We can eat in the car, let's go." She gathered her things and followed him out the door. "You know it's not your fault, don't you Mulder?" "Yeah, Scully, I know... doesn't help... but thanks." Two weeks later at 1:29 in the morning Mulder found himself with his hand on the doorknob of yet another connecting door before he realized where he was going. <-I'm cold> <-I don't know. I got away with it last time. I'll be careful not to wake her up.> <-I don't know... I just have to. I hope she can forgive me.> He turned the knob. Scully woke up sure there was an arm around her, but once again she was alone. At first she was convinced she could smell Mulder's cologne but couldn't find any other reason to jump to such a wild conclusion. Not a single dark hair on the pillow or any other evidence to confirm her suspicion, so it was just that, suspicion. She asked herself if it was true and he had been here, then why? He obviously hadn't been looking for sex since that would have a lot more difficult to hide from her, not to mention the fact that he would never do anything to her against her will, so it was something else. Sleepwalking wasn't out of the question. It happened the first time after that girl was killed and Mulder took it harder than usual, but he had seemed to her to be okay lately. Scully decided that wanting some comfort is the most reasonable explanation. She couldn't fault him for that when she herself had found comfort and compassion in his arms all those times she came too close to death. Scully had to figure it out for sure, but one can't just ask someone if he snuck into one's bed last night, least of all if that person is one's partner. It turned out to be easier than she thought. Mulder showed up that morning again having bought her breakfast and wearing what seven years together told her was his guilty face. She knew what had happened and had proof enough, what to do with this new information was another problem. She needed to try to find out what was wrong or what had changed to provoke Mulder's behavior. When they were in the car and she confronted him. "Mulder something's been bothering you recently and I'm not completely sure what it is. You've seemed different these last few weeks and while I think I know the initial cause I don't know why you haven't bounced back like you always do. You know you can talk to me about it, you'll feel better." Mulder sighed and continued to stare at the road. "I know and I'm sorry if I've been worrying you Scully, but I'm not sure what it is myself. I do tend to wallow in self-pity when I think I'm responsible for something bad happening but it's more than that. Lately I feel like something's missing, like I'm lost somehow, even though I'm on the same course we've been on for years. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be and the work we're doing matters, it's just... I don't know, that's the problem." "I'm afraid I can't say I know exactly what you're feeling, but I'm glad you can tell me about it and I'll do whatever I can to help. You're the psychologist, if someone were to tell you about these symptoms what would you tell them?" Mulder thought a minute. "I might think they're feeling some sort of dissatisfaction, a mid-life crisis perhaps, but I don't think buying a little red sports car would help me." "Who knows, they do tend to attract women. Isn't that the root of all men's' problems, they need a good woman telling them what to do." She joked. "Maybe but, that's not the right kind of women I would be interested in, too shallow. Would you be dazzled by a slick convertible?" "I suppose not." "I rest my case." "Okay so if not mid-life crisis then what?" "I don't know. I wish I knew so I could tell you." She wasn't able to get anymore out of him than that. She decided the only way he would open up was if his defenses were down and he felt he had to talk to her, like if he was caught in the act. In preparation, the next time they stayed in a motel on a case, Scully drank plenty of coffee and stayed up as late as she could all the while pretending to be asleep. The morning revealed however, that she had not been visited in the night. The next day she tried again. Lying in bed still facing away from the connecting door, Scully was getting drowsy and about to give up and go to sleep. It was just before 1AM in the morning and she hadn't heard anything from the next room in hours. Then all of a sudden he was behind her. She felt him there before hearing anything. He wasn't moving just yet and had to be watching her. It seemed like forever before there was a slight shift in the bed and a pull on the covers. It was difficult to keep her breathing rhythmic but she tried her best to appear calm. If she hadn't know it was coming, Scully would have jumped out of the bed at the first touch. As it was she didn't move when the lightest touch grazed her back and came to rest on her side. Taking a deep breath she placed her hand over his in case he tried to run away and turned to look him in the face. He tensed as soon as she moved and when he saw her eyes were open he looked terrified. "Scully, I'm sorry. I thought... I was just... I'm sorry." She grabbed his hand harder as he tried to pull away. "Mulder it's okay, I'm not mad, calm down. I've know since the first time you came in. I just want to know why." "I'm sorry Scully, I never meant for it to happen again. It was like I was having a dream the first time and then... I couldn't stop myself. I'm sorry." "Mulder it's okay. I told you I'm not upset, just worried. Please tell me why." "Because Scully... you're warm." She waited but he didn't continue. "I know that must mean more than temperature wise, what does it mean that I'm warm?" "Everything else is cold, freezing, everything, even me, everything but you. You keep me warm; keep me from freezing to death. That's the only way I can explain it. I don't know why... all I know is I can't stand the cold anymore." He looked so scared and vulnerable. Not sure how to respond, all she could do was throw her arms around him to which he immediately reciprocated. "I'll always be here for you Mulder, I promise." "I know Scully, that's what keeps me going." When he showed no sign of letting go any time soon she tucked her head under his chin and rested it on his arm. Then whispered, "Just so you know, you don't have to sneak away before it's morning." "Thanks Scully." They were asleep in no time. It was the best six hours of rest either had gotten in recent memory. The next evening, after his shower, Mulder was getting ready for bed and noticed Scully's side of the connecting door wide open in obvious invitation. Of course it was. He knew she was so generous and infinitely patient with him, he should have known it would be. Still though, the more one takes advantage of another's generosity the worse they feel for imposing. Mulder tried, he really did, and almost succeeded in getting through one cold night alone knowing she was just a few feet away. He told her so as he slipped his arms around her. "Sorry... I tried." "S'okay, c'mere." And so it went. The case turned out to be a hoax and wrapped up that day so Mulder and Scully were able to fly home that evening. Dropping her off at her apartment, Mulder had tried not to think about the fact that at his apartment he would again be alone. "You can call me if you want, I'll probably be up late." "Thanks, maybe I will, night Scully." "Night Mulder, sleep well." He did call, but they couldn't stay on the phone forever. The next two nights were hell. He had too much time to think. Like with all good mind altering substances people use to forget their troubles, Mulder was beyond happy while in the moment and later that much more miserable for giving in to his weakness and need and also for keeping something from her that if she knew would almost certainly bar him from his next precious fix. If he told Scully about his real feelings for her it would make them both uncomfortable with their new arrangement, especially her, since she would rightly assume he was getting more than just emotional comfort from holding her at night and given the opportunity, would want more than she offered. It was a sickening dilemma that gnawed at his stomach. He could relieve his conscience and be miserable forever, possibly loosing that last lingering shred of sanity or only be miserable in the daytime while his conscience ate away at him while being blissfully content at night as he took advantage of his best friend under questionable pretenses. When Skinner finally gave him a case Mulder was never so happy to be hunting killers as long as it was out of town. He needed a fix. Seeing her at work helped but it wasn't the same. Mulder promised himself he would come clean, but in case it blew up in his face, he wanted just one more night of relief from the cold. That evening in another motel room Mulder stared at the digital clock until he couldn't stand it anymore. Ten o'clock was late enough that she might be asleep. Stepping into her room he realized she probably was not but would pretend to be so he didn't have to explain himself. One more thing to add to the very long list of reasons he loved her. Judging by the contented sigh she emitted when he put his arm around her middle she at least was not upset at him and maybe even liked the comfort of being close to someone like he did. Mulder wanted to make it last and stayed awake to memorize every detail of what it felt like to hold Dana Scully as she slept. He eventually did fall asleep and dreamed of a universe where they fell asleep together not out of comfort but out of exhaustion from making passionate love all night. It seemed like the hardest thing Mulder had ever done when he left the blissful warmth of her bed the next morning. He had to tell her. He had to come clean, but Mulder couldn't imagine looking her in the face and making it through what he had to say. All she would have to do is frown or worse look at him with pity and he would just want to turn and run and never stop. That's why Mulder decided to take the coward's way out. He'd leave her a note, that way if she wanted to she could just ignore it like they did so many things and everything would be all right. He composed it in his head over the course of the day and wrote it down when he got back to the motel. Scully was a few hours behind him since she had to finish a couple of autopsies. When she returned from the city morgue right away she noticed something on her pillow. She picked up the letter and immediately recognized Mulder's chicken scratch handwriting. Dear Scully, I'm writing this down because there are some things you need to know that I wish I could say to you face to face, but I can't and for that I'm sorry. First, I'll never be able to thank you for the peace you've given me when I couldn't bear to be alone. I've never slept better than when lying next to you and especially when you let me hold you in my arms. I know all you wanted to do was comfort me and at first that's all it was, but then I realized I wanted more. I wanted you to want me there, not because you felt bad for me or even because you care enough to help a friend, but because you felt for me the same things I feel for you. As much as it kills me to think I may never hold you the same way again I can't continue to take advantage of my best friend's trust. I'm sorry my telling you this will ruin our arrangement but you need to know that I love you. I don't expect anything from you but I beg you not to let this damage our partnership if I promise I won't. If you never mention this again then neither will I and I will continue to treasure the friendship you do offer me as I always have and always will. Since I hold no hope that we can continue as we were, I only ask that you close and lock your door so that I may avoid any temptation to further hurt our friendship. -Mulder Mulder was quietly pacing the room. He had heard her come in but was not expecting a knock on his door. He was sure, and part of him was relieved, that she would never say a word, so when she knocked and came in he was terrified. When she opened the door, the look on his face gave him away. "Well, Mulder, given your revelation we can't continue on this way, there's only one thing to do." His heart was pounding so loudly in his chest he thought he was about to have a heart attack. All of a sudden in three long strides she was on him, pulling his head down into a bruising kiss. He was just getting over the initial shock and starting to participate when she pulled away. "So is that a clear enough answer for you or would you like me to say it again?" She grinned. "Again." He met her halfway this time and when they could no longer breathe he broke the kiss and buried his head in her neck. "Scully do you really mean it?" "Every word." He picked her right up off the ground in a hug almost hard enough to break ribs. "Ahhh you're killing me." "Sorry. It's just... oh Scully." "It's okay I know what you mean. Friendship is fine, but sometimes it's not enough." "Scully..." The look in his eye said it all. "Don't you dare ask me if I'm sure or go into any nonsense about trying to protect me from yourself. I just so happens I love you too, so appreciate it." He grinned at how well she knew him. "I love you so much. It's just that once I have you I'll never let go so it's only right to give you fair warning." "I'll take my chances. I live for adventure, I'm your partner aren't I?" "Always, but maybe now with benefits." "Such as what?" She teased. "You think I'm going to have sex with you or something? There are rules against things like that." "It's fun to break the rules, maybe even break them on my desk at work some time." "Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves here, I only kissed you." "It wasn't just a kiss. I could taste it. It was a promise." She nodded in agreement. "So what do we do now?" "Well it's 6:00, getting kind of late. We have to get up tomorrow; I'm a little tired. I think I might go to bed early." "Not a bad idea." She shrugged out of her jacket and threw it on a chair, next came her blouse and finally her pants joined the rest on the chair. All Mulder could do was stair at his partner's matching pale blue bra and panties. "You going to sleep in your clothes Mulder?" He shook his head and started tearing off things, leaving them where they landed in various places on the floor. Scully smirked at the eager look on his face. She felt the same, but self-control comes more naturally to women or for that matter anyone who isn't Mulder. When he was down to boxers he looked back at her indicating it was again her move. "Alright Mulder, goodnight. I'll see you in the morning." Disbelief flashed across his face until he noticed she hadn't moved toward her room and also that she was fighting a grin with little success. "Before I go could you help me with something? It wouldn't be too comfortable to sleep in my bra and I can't seem to reach the hook. Think you could give me a hand?" I couple of seconds ticked by as he processed this new development and then nodded his head. She sauntered over to him, slowly turned around, and waited. He reached out and unhooked the delicate strap. She shrugged her shoulders and let the blue fabric fall to the floor. "You know Mulder, I'm not sure I'll be too comfortable in-" Her panties were around her ankles in second and he was again crushing her body against his while burying his face in her neck. He had to let go for a second and spin her around to be able to appreciate the front view as well before they were kissing again. Scully noticed she was being lifted off her feet and deposited on the bed but was unwilling to divert any concentration away from attacking Mulder's mouth. It felt to her like his hands were everywhere at once as he ran them over her body. Alternating between tender stroking and strong kneading of her flesh left Scully moaning into his mouth. Mulder couldn't get enough of touching her the way he had wanted to for so long. He needed to show Scully exactly how much he wanted her. His hands soon made there way up to cup her face and hold her so he could make love to her beautiful mouth. She used the opportunity to wrap her arms around his back and pull more of his weight down on her. The way he tugged and suckled her lips there was no way they wouldn't be swollen in the morning. He sealed their mouths and sucked the sweet breath from her lungs leaving Scully gasping and light- headed. That's just how he wanted her, overwhelmed, flooded by love and lust and passion. He was storming the castle and didn't intend to leave any survivors. Scully was indeed overwhelmed and he hadn't even gotten below her neck yet. Finally it was time venture south only after kissing the rest of her face and staring into her clouded eyes. She gasped again between desperate lungfuls of air as he found a soft sensitive spot on her neck and attacked once more. She shivered at the knowledge he was leaving marks on purpose, claiming his territory. Agonizingly slow was his trek to her breasts with frequent stops along the way, but once he made it, he decided he might never leave. "Mulder," she cried out as he roughly took much of her left breast into his mouth. He murmured in satisfaction at her taste and texture, so soft and sweet better than his imagination could ever do justice. He squeezed her pliant flesh in both hand and assaulted her tender nipples. Back and forth he went between them, kissing, pulling, biting and so close to pain that she was worried he may go too far and terrified he might stop. It was so much sensation she couldn't stand it but knew she would die without more. Never had Scully dreamed she could want it this way, but she was completely overcome. She too had imagined what it would be like to be the focus of his single-minded passion though the reality surpassed mere fantasies by orders of magnitude. All she could do was clutch his head to her chest and listen to the hungry rumble deep in his throat. Finally when her nipples were red and swollen, he continued down to suck and mark the skin of her stomach. He paid special attention to the rough scar of a bullet wound that had almost taken her from him. Now it served as badge of honor, proof she was a survivor and warrior, a soldier like him. At the same time he let his hand stray lower to explore her. His fingers slid through curly hair and along the hot wet flesh to open her. She arched her back and cried out as he pushed them into the depths of her womanhood as far as he could go. Relentlessly he delved inside her with two and all of a sudden three fingers. She was writhing near the edge and he knew it, her body clutching at his fingers for more sensation. Still there was one thing left to do before he could let her come. He had to taste her. Mulder could feel the heat coming from her sex and breathed in her scent. Scully knew what was coming and couldn't wait. "Please, please, Mulder, I'm so close." She bucked her hips shamelessly. He opened his mouth and covered her swollen folds and clit like a starving man he sucked and licked and bit her, no more gentle than he had been on the rest of her nor would she have wanted him to be. Her tangy flavor would be forever burned into his memory. Combined with her smell it was steadily driving all control from him. He rasped his tongue down on her clit over and over along with his fingers moving inside her, demanding she come for him. With a whining scream she did. "Mulder, yes, ahhhhhhhhhh." He rode out her convulsions and when she went limp her climbed back up her body. Mulder wanted to see up close what he had done to her. She was sweating and panting and looked very satisfied and he wasn't finished yet. He noticed he was still wearing his boxers and got rid of them immediately. "So good, Mulder, but don't stop. I want you inside me." He growled and laid his weight back on her. "Please, Mulder, don't hold anything back, I won't break. Give it all to me, all that passion inside you, I want to see it, feel it." Then she growled. "TAKE what's yours." Her enthusiastic encouragement stoked the fire as he settled between her legs. His cock touched her and he immediately pushed inside. There was no stopping to relax or get used to it. He steadily stretched her, opened her up, until she accepted it all. Withdrawing made her whine and driving back inside made her groan. Faster and harder he went with each stroke as she became louder. In no time he was pounding into her wildly. She couldn't speak or think. It was all too much. She couldn't fight it if she wanted to; she could only let herself be swept away. Scully had two orgasms in quick succession and was only semi-conscious when Mulder finally shouted her name and emptied into her. He rolled them onto there sides and cradled her body in his. Kissing her cheek softly he waited for her eyes to clear. When she did look up at him it was with wonder and awe. "Wow Mulder, that was amazing... perfect." "How do you feel? I wasn't too rough was I?" "Mmmm, I hurt all over and I love it. I want to remember this feeling forever; it was so intense I never imagined it could be like that. Now I know, only with you." "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." "This sounds so corny but I thought I knew what pleasure was before but now..." she blushed as she realized what she admitted. "Don't be shy, that's what a guy wants to hear. I'm so glad I made you feel good, made you happy. It's all I want to do for the rest of my life Scully." "You do make me happy." They held each other for a long while and then Mulder smiled. "Scully, I think I've found it, what I lost, what was making me so cold. I've been locking away part of my humanity for so long I because all it ever brought me was misery, but I with it went my ability to really be happy, without that I think I was slowly going insane. It's just lucky for me you have the key, I think you've had it all along." "The key to your happiness huh, I think that's the best compliment I've ever received." "I know it must sound like a lot of pressure, a lot to carry around, but what can I say. You're it Scully, for me you're why the sun rises everyday, why life is worth living." "I guess I'll have to get used to it won't I, but I've got a strong back and good arch support, I think I can handle it." "You know I'd never ask you to be anything for me other than yourself." "I know Mulder and I love you for it." "Hey Scully, I guess you ARE my little red convertible. Little and red are dead on and it apparently doesn't take much to get your top down." She chuckled, "only when the right person is driving." "Feel like taking another spin?" The End ___________________________________________________________ The premise may be borrowed but I tried to make the story mine. I think it remained fairly true to the characters even as the situation forced them to confront change. Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading. Feedback is appreciated. If you liked it and have comments or ideas for my next story, send them to xphan1013@yahoo.com.