TITLE: BIRTHDAY CAKE, AND EATEN TOO AUTHOR: Jacquie LaVa RATING: NC-17 CATEGORY: MSR CLASSIFICATION: HUMOR KEYWORDS: MULDER BIRTHDAY POV Disclaimer: Well, CC never threw our Boy a par-tay like this one... Spoilers: Not this time! Author notes and Thanks: At the end! Summary: Somebody 'forgot' the birthday boy... or maybe not... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I should have known she was up to something. She never forgets a birthday... never. ******************* She remembered my own mother's birthday, for crissakes - and I think I only mentioned the date to her, once. She's gone to church and lit a candle on Samantha's birthday. I never knew this until her mother told me. When I found out she'd done this several years in a row, never letting on to me that she was giving my sister this spiritual gift... well, I cried like a two-year old. I remember Maggie put her arms around me, and let me bawl. I woke up this morning thinking to myself, 'Another day, another birthday.' Ho hum. Once you reach middle age, who the fuck cares? I'm healthy, happy for a change, getting nookie on a regular basis... madly in love with my nookie-provider. I share a home and an aquarium full of new fish, with that same provider. I share a future. Most vital to my overall health and happiness is the future I face with Scully, each and every day. It's laced with bickering over who left the most amount of dirty glasses in the sink and squeezed the toothpaste so hard in the middle that it came out of the bottom and clogged up the sink (okay, that one was mine) - and it's saturated with the sort of loving I never in my most 'out there' dreams thought I would have in my life. Early on, when we were new and a little shaky and both trying much too hard, we made a promise that I know a lot of new couples make. We vowed we'd never go to bed angry. In the late night hours of afterglow from truly fabulous sex, we snuggled warm and naked under the blankets and between soft, moist kisses that still tasted of her and of me, we whispered this promise. We fell asleep with the vow tucked carefully away in our hearts and we made good on that promise... for about two days - Until 'The Incident'. Ah, I remember it well - talk about the deadly combination of stubbornness and stupidity... "You're an asshole! Get out of my face, Mulder!" She'd pushed her nose close to mine and her eyes had been spitting blue fury at me. I'd clenched my hands and planted my feet and refused to budge. "And you're a bitch, Scully. You had no right to throw out Mollie just because she was a little sick." A growl from her throat told me I probably should have softened the 'bitch' with a suffix of 'baby'... "Mulder, the goddamn fish was DEAD! Dead as a fucking doornail. So dead it was stinking up the tank and contaminating the other fish that are still alive and wanting to live long enough to attempt committing tank hari-kari under their own steam! Jesus, don't you KNOW dead, by now?" Her low, spiteful voice grated on me worse than sandpaper on lambswool... I narrowed my eyes and I could feel the storm building, deep inside. "Goddammit! Yes, I know dead, Scully. I know it intimately! And I also know that if you don't shut the hell up, NOW - I won't be held responsible for my actions. And furthermore, I want an apology for flushing Mollie." I crossed my arms across my chest and waited for the words. Well, I got words... not the ones I wanted. Scully had shifted her feet, taken a step back and tossed out a nasty, "Bite me, Mulder -" then had stalked to her side of the bed and gotten under the covers, fully dressed. I gawked at her flagrant disregard for my feelings, stood there staring at the small hunch of her under the blankets - then I strode to my side of the bed and climbed in, also fully dressed, most definitely not to be outdone. The words 'asshole' and 'bitch' floated over our bed in a black mist, and we lay next to each other like rigor mortis personified, both of us stiff and beyond furious. That first standoff lasted about two hours, until I just couldn't take it any longer - and when I turned to face her and reached out to drag her into my arms, determined to beg her forgiveness if necessary because I couldn't stand the churning gulf between us... I found Scully was already there, reaching for me. We fell onto each other, whispering 'I'm Sorry, Baby' and, 'No, it's my fault, Mulder'... and we tore off each other's clothes and wound ourselves into a complicated twist of limbs and hot skin and wet, frenzied kisses. Jesus, I never knew make-up sex could be so frigging steamy. Months later, we are much more sensible about the limitations of our relationship, and much happier as a result. As I said, this is a future we are building together and every day I find something new to discover and to add to the long list of things I already love, about Scully. Including the touching way she has managed to remember the birthdays of not only her loved ones, but mine as well... until I woke up this morning and thought to myself, 'Hey - it's my birthday!' It was a goofy thing to think to oneself upon awakening, but then I suppose I was in a goofy mood, having been loved to within an inch of my life the night before, by Scully, Queen nookie-provider. A thorough workout like that can really fry the brain cells... Still grinning like a hyena I looked over at her side; she wasn't there. And she wasn't in the bathroom; I got up from my warm bed and checked. I wandered into the kitchen; it was shadowed and quiet. I found a note on the counter and picked it up; scanned it quickly. 'Mulder: I had to go into the office; needed some stuff I left there last night - I'll see you later - XO, Scully.' I read it again, searching for those two words and not finding them... huh?? What, no 'Happy Birthday'?? No call on my cell phone with her low, warm voice in my ear? Nothing? I looked at the kitchen clock; it was still fairly early - not yet ten AM. I was sure she'd be home soon; I mean, how long does it take to pick up stuff at the office? I made myself some coffee and toast; clicked on the tube and munched, waiting for Scully to return. Two hours later... I was pacing. I had called her cell twice; each time she'd answered, told me in a warm and sweet voice that she was almost finished and would be home soon. I'd tried not to be overly petulant and needy, on the phone. "Sculleee... what the hell would you need on a Saturday that you can't pick up any other weekday? We're between cases - and I don't remember getting anything from Skinner. What's going on?" Her reply had been uncharacteristically vague. "Nothing's 'going on', Mulder. I just had to grab a few things - and I'd left my laptop here as well. You know I don't like leaving my laptop at work." It was true - Scully was overprotective of her very expensive laptop. I could understand her obsession, I suppose. But still... two hours? "Well, hurry up! I thought we could do... something... today." I was dying to scream into the phone, "Like something Birthday-ish, dammit!" - but I wanted it to come from her because she'd remembered - not because I had prompted. Otherwise, it's just not worth it - Well, she didn't take the bait. She just replied, "Oh yeah... grocery shopping. Thanks for reminding me, Mulder. I'll go by the store on the way home; I know you hate buying food. See you later; love you." A !click! in my ear signified she'd disconnected. I stared at the phone in confusion for almost a full minute. And I had to face the facts: Scully had forgotten my birthday. Well, I was pissed. I truly was - she could remember everyone else's but mine... the most important person in her life - and not only that, but so completely forget that to her it was just any other Saturday? Jesus. I flung down the phone and strode into the bathroom; jumped in the shower and scrubbed myself raw. Note to self, for future reference: never take a shower when pissed. I was red all over when I finally turned off the water. I dragged on the first articles of clothing I could find, and stomped back into the living room, just as the phone rang. I leapt upon it, thinking to myself, 'AHA! She remembered! She's gonna be all over me with apologies!' "Mulder? Hey, Bud - need your help with that damn program - is now a good time for you to come over?" Langly. Shit - I'd forgotten. I'd promised Langly last week. Damn it to hell... "Yeah, no problem. It's not as if anything else more important is going on..." God, what a rotten start to my day. I hung up, grabbed my jacket and took off. I didn't even leave a note for Scully. Screw it - let her guess where I went... Three hours later I was still at the lair, untangling the most God- awful mess I'd ever seen. Langly is a frigging genius, most of the time. But when he screws something over he gives new meaning to the word 'fuck-up'. Hick and Byers were nowhere to be found; I later discovered they'd bolted as soon as it became apparent that Langly had bombed the software. I finally threw up my hands and shouted, "I give UP! Langly, I don't know what the hell you did but whatever it is, this program is useless!" I jumped up from my chair and grabbed my jacket, shrugging into it. Langly took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes, staring at the indecipherable text on the monitor. "Well, shit. I was hoping you wouldn't say that. I've got some really touchy files embedded in here, Mulder - we've got to get them removed." I regarded him with much impatience, as I checked my pockets for my keys and walked to the front door. "What's this 'we' shit, Langly? You got a mouse in your pocket? I'm going home. Get Hick to help you - and I'll send you a clean program; you can start over again." Ignoring Langly's panicked, "Wait!", I jerked open the door and took off. Looking at my watch, I realized I'd wasted over three hours. I shook my head in disgust and started my car, nosing out from my parking space into heavy afternoon traffic. As I drove I thought to myself that it wasn't as if anything was going on at home... ******************** As I said, I should have known... The first thing I noticed when I walked through the door was the lack of daylight. It was a sunny, albeit cold fall day, and I'd left all the blinds open. Now, they were closed up tightly. I walked through the foyer to the living room, peering through the dimness, wondering if Scully had come home and decided for some reason to take a nap. My partner, catnapping in the middle of the afternoon... it could happen. I walked straight from the living room into the bedroom, calling for her, stripping off my jacket and dumping it on the edge of the sofa as I passed by. "Scully? You here? Scully...?" Empty bedroom - empty bathroom. I didn't see her laptop anywhere, which was odd since she'd specifically mentioned wanting to bring it home. Could she have come in, seen me gone and taken off again? I wandered back into the living room and over to the side table, looking for another note - checking the phone for a memo. Nothing... and it was obvious that someone had been here, for I distinctly remembered all the blinds being open. Now I was beginning to worry. I turned in a circle, there in the middle of the living room, at a loss and letting my damn imagination run away with me... And I heard an odd noise in the kitchen. A clink, and a little thump. Shit... I took two steps back and moved to the sofa, retrieving my gun from the inner pocket of my jacket. I cupped it securely and padded on silent feet to the doorway of the kitchen, paused for a moment, then swung my body into the doorway, arms up and hands ready with my finger on the trigger... And I stopped cold, gawking with my mouth hanging open, at the sight that met my eyes. The kitchen table was covered with a piece of white silky material, hanging down on all sides. There was a crystal bowl of chocolate- dipped strawberries - a favorite treat of mine - next to a bottle of what looked like champagne; it was hard to tell from the single candle that was glowing... on a large slice of birthday cake. And the platter on which the cake reposed... was none other than Dana Scully. My nookie-partner. My stark naked nookie-partner, on her back on the silky covered table, a half full glass of pale golden liquid in her outstretched hand; the other hand and arm curved beneath her head, wild red curls tumbling over her glowing skin. Her face was turned toward me and even in the gloom I could sense the hot blue of her eyes upon me. One leg was bent up at the knee, just a little; at this angle I could see something metallic and shiny winking at me, from her navel. I overcame my shock enough to take one stumbling step closer, realizing the glint on her cute little belly-button was - a navel ring. Holy shit. She'd gotten her navel pierced... then as I stared at her, my eyes wide with wonder and still slack-jawed, it dawned on me where she'd placed the slice of birthday cake with its single lit candle... Right over her pretty little quim. As I stepped another foot closer, still speechless, beginning to break out in one hell of a lust-sweat, her rosy lips opened and her voice poured out in a low rumble of sound that was as sexy as hell. "Happy Birthday, Mulder. Why don't you come a bit closer... and blow me... out?" Oh, Hell. Was that me, whimpering and drooling at her softly-uttered request? Must be - there wasn't anyone else in the room with a hard- on the size of Texas, salivating all over himself - besides, Scully was busy holding up my cake. I could feel myself shaking with lust; it had come up on me that quickly, flooding my body and pounding in my head. Actually, both heads... so hard and fast I was almost in pain from it. I dropped the gun on the floor - thank God I hadn't released the safety - and my hand went to the crotch of my jeans and pressed front and center, trying to ease the constriction there, from getting instantly hard. Scully followed the movement of my hand with her eyes, and licked at her lips. And that little movement of her tongue over her lush mouth made me even harder. I took another few steps, swollen almost to the point of not being able to walk. She gestured carefully with the glass in her hand and I finally got close enough to her to take the champagne from her fingers. I raised to my mouth and drained it in one gulp, then almost dropped it in my haste to set it aside on the table and fill my hands with naked nookie- partner... But first things first. I leaned in over her lovely body, my eyes just about eating her alive - and I blew out my candle. As it sputtered and smoked I carefully pulled it from the cake and licked off the frosting that had collected on the wax - and when she murmured wickedly, "I hope you made a wish, Mulder," I growled out one hoarse, "Yeah..." And I buried my mouth in my cake. It was delicious; white cake with raspberry filling and smothered in chocolate frosting. I took one large bite and swallowed, feeling a ring of icing around my mouth - and I picked up the rest of the cake and placed it to one side on the silk-covered tabletop. Some of the frosting had melted a little and Scully's soft red tufts were coated in it. My eyes widened at the sight and my lips opened greedily and I bent over her again, my hands slipping under her cheeks as I lifted her to my frosting-ringed mouth, and wiped the icing off on her silky mons - then licked up every trace of chocolate I could find. I got my wish when Scully began to wriggle and moan, and dampen under my tongue... and never in my life had birthday cake tasted so good, when flavored with chocolate and Scully. I savored every morsel of it, running my tongue very slowly over her curls and down between her flushed little folds, all pink and glistening and sweet. Sweeter than chocolate and a hundred times more addictive; my hands pressed into her hips and opened her wider, affording me better access. Scully's breath hitched on a gasp and I felt her hands in my hair, fingers rubbing into my scalp as she uttered a broken, "Oh, Mulder... I'm supposed to be giving you a gift..." Baby, you are... I would have said the words aloud to her but I was so caught up in what I was doing to her and the way her body trembled and her clit throbbed under my mouth - I couldn't stop. By now I had my tongue buried deep within her and my teeth were grazing at her clit with every movement of my mouth and jaw. I managed to raise my eyes to hers and the stare I shot into her must have spoken volumes because she gulped and moaned again, arched herself into me and pressed down with both hands on my head. I could feel her counter-thrust against my face and the demanding push of her was so erotic. It went straight to my groin and tapped out an urgent message that my penis wasn't about to ignore, but I tamped down hard on Mr. Happy for the moment, refusing to give up on my dessert. And speaking of dessert... I had forgotten about the strawberries. Just within my reach, too. I slipped one hand from beneath Scully and managed to snag a berry without knocking the entire bowl to the floor. I caught it by the stem and brought it close to my nose, inhaling the wonderful fragrance of chocolate and fruit mixed with Scully pheromones. Mmmmmm... Still holding her gaze, I lifted my mouth from her tender mound, smiling at her breathy, "Oh, Jesus don't STOP!" - and I replaced my tongue with the strawberry. I touched it to her tight little clit and trailed it down between those sweet lips of hers - and her muffled scream was followed by more throbbing, signaling her climax. I pushed the strawberry inside her and clamped my mouth over it all, the fruit and her clit - and closed my eyes in bliss as she came against my tongue. So incredibly good; so sweet... She was still shuddering as I bit gently into the berry, now dripping with melted chocolate and delicious Scully - and slid it out and into my mouth. I chewed and swallowed, deciding that of all the times in my life I had indulged in dipped strawberries, never had it tasted like this. "Mulder... God... I can't believe - so good..." Still trying to catch her breath, Scully's words came out as a shaky squeak and the sound made me grin from ear to ear. I laid my cheek on her firm little abdomen, my mouth a scant inch from that tantalizing navel ring, and I mumbled my delight into her skin. "That was one hell of a birthday present, baby - can I open another?" I tilted my face to hers and grinned at her, loving the sweep of her fingers along my jaw and the comfort of her hand cupping the back of my neck. Her eyes were glistening with tears. Scully always tears up after her orgasm, something I find unbearably touching and sweet. I reached up with a thumb and brushed away the moisture at the corner of her eye, bringing my wet thumb to my mouth and drinking in her tear. And as I gazed into her damp eyes, I realized that not only was I still fully dressed but was still painfully hard. Now, ordinarily I would be just dying to be inside of her, one way or another - but this time the joy I had received from the gift I had given far outweighed any selfish need to take my present and run with it. Besides... Scully wasn't going anywhere and neither was I - there was still a nice chunk of cake to eat and plenty of dipped berries - and an almost-full bottle of bubbly. I was loaded for bear, my Johnson in full roar, and I had lots of Scully to touch and to kiss - in fact I hadn't yet kissed her mouth; I'd been too busy enjoying my cake and eating it, as well as indulging in Scully-flavored berries. Clearly I needed to collect the rest of my birthday gifts, PDQ. I straightened and stretched, standing next to the table; scooped Scully into my arms and flipped her over my shoulder in a fireman's lift, loving the rounded globe of her cheek pressing into my neck. I ignored her squeal of, "MULDER!" With my free hand I grabbed the bottle, figuring if we were hungry later one of us could come back for the chow - and I carried my baby and the bubbly into our bedroom, depositing her in the center of our bed and setting the champagne on the bedside table. Scully smiled up at me as I hung over her, soaking in the sight of her gleaming skin against the dark comforter. She watched me rip off my clothes and fling them everywhere, her eyes fastening on the heaviness of my penis as I finally released it from its cloth prison - and her wicked murmur echoed around the room. "Mulder, don't you want the rest of your cake?" I tossed my boxers over my shoulder and came down full length upon her warm little body, pressing myself between her thighs, so generously opened for me - and just before I slipped inside; just before I buried every inch of me deep, so deep... I finally, FINALLY kissed her mouth and felt her tongue caress mine and I whispered a reply that made her giggle against my teeth. "I've already eaten, baby... but I'm sure I'll be hungry again, later on." Another soft giggle, and a sweet sigh in my ear, as I slid into her, all the way home. Her soft words tickled my ear. "In case I didn't already tell you - Happy Birthday, Mulder..." My reply was uttered into her open, smiling mouth. "Thank you, Scully..." Later, much later - I'd ask her how she managed to talk Langly into crashing his precious software just to keep me out of the way long enough for her to set up my birthday feast. Much, much later. Maybe even tomorrow... after breakfast in bed. But first, and most vital to the well-being of this particular birthday boy... Scully and I had a LOT of celebrating to do. End (Written for Muldermas 2001) This is my contribution to Muldermas... the celebration of our guy's birthday on Oct. 13. Of course I couldn't just let him open a few gaily wrapped gifts and cram a piece of cake in his mouth, could I? It wouldn't be much of a birthday! My thanks to my beloved partner, Tessie, for her speed-of-light beta and much enthusiasm for the subject matter , and to Sallie, my IWTB pal, whose equally enthusiastic thumbs-up was much appreciated! This story is dedicated, always, to my friends and Darlin's at IWTB! Hope you enjoyed the fic!