TITLE: DIRECT ORDERS AUTHOR: DONNILEE E-MAIL: Donnilee@snet.net WEBSITE: http://donnilee.tripod.com RATING: NC-17 CATEGORY: MSR SPOILERS: Small one for Arcadia. SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully get together while sent on a missing person's case for the Director of the Bureau. DISCLAIMER: All characters used from the show, The X-Files are the property of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Broadcasting. No copyright infringement intended. No money made here. THANKS: To my beta reader, FatCat, who keep me on the grammatical straight and narrow. I love you. XXXXXXXXXX PART 1 (PG-13) GROVE STREET WATERBURY, CT THURSAY EVENING 7:30 PM "When in Rome, Scully," I said under my breath as I watched the women in the tight, black, leather mini- skirt sashay down the sidewalk. She growled back at me under her breath, "So help me God, Mulder. One more prostitute propositions you and I'm pulling my gun." Jesus Fernandez chuckled, having heard the entire exchange. We'd been interviewing him on the street for about fifteen minutes. In that time, four prostitutes had come up and asked me if I wanted a date. In a way, it amused me. I had no interest, and there was no flattery in being hit on by a hooker. It was their business after all. They didn't give a damn what you looked like. It bothered Scully though. I could tell, and THAT amused the hell out of me. Scully gave him her death glare and his mirth died in his throat. I said off-handedly, "She's a good shot too, I wouldn't piss her off." His eyes darted up the street and back to mine. "Now, back to the matter at hand. When was the last time you saw Tammy Baird?" "I tol' you, man, at least two weeks ago." "She works for Eddie Ortiz?" Scully asked, referring to the well-known Hispanic pimp. Jesus, shook his head and leaned in. "I don't know." He lowered his voice, pinching his lips together and then leaned even closer, almost whispering in my ear. "You tryin' ta get me killed, man? Hmm? Someone overhear dat talk out here, I get wasted. You understan' me?" I let him step back. Scully said, "How about if you take a ride with us, then no one will hear a thing. You're the one that wanted to talk right here on the street." "Be even worse if I get in a car witchoo," he said and visibly paled. I nodded, lacing my fingers together and cracking my knuckles, my signal to Scully to let me take over the interview. She took a small step back to make herself less conspicuous and take her out of his line of sight. She was behind me and off to the left. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. Her eyes were scanning the street on full alert. "I get you man," I said softly. "Anyone asks, you tell them I was her brother, lookin' for her." He held my gaze for a moment and then nodded curtly. "I'll do that." I glanced to the right and saw three men trying to look casual, leaning on a porch down the block. The threat was unmistakable. Our position here was going to get untenable in a very short time. I grabbed the front of his shirt and raised my voice to be sure they heard my next statement. He struggled, but the look in his eyes told me he knew it was for show. "You better not be lying to me, punk! You see my sister, you call me. I find out you were lying, I'll come back for you and it won't be fucking pretty." His hands came forward and pushed on my chest. I shoved him away from me and he stumbled a little, but then righted himself and shrugged his shoulders, brushing his palms over the stomach of his tee shirt. "I haven't seen her man, I swear," he said loudly. I nodded curtly and turned to Scully. "Come on, honey. We're wasting our time," I said. I was at the curb in two strides, opening the door. Scully slid into the passenger seat without a word and I circled around the front of the car and sat behind the wheel. "Mulder," she began. "Not yet, Scully." She was silent while I pulled out into the street, looking in my rearview mirror as the three men approached Jesus. I turned right at the end of the street and drove one block, turning right again. Scully asked, "Where are you going?" "We're circling around," I said tensely. "Why?" she asked. "I have a bad feeling. I recognized one of those guys on the porch." "Which one?" she asked, sitting up straighter. "Eddie Ortiz," I said curtly. "No way!" "Yes." "You're sure, Mulder?" "Positive." "Shit," she said, reaching back under her blazer and pulling out her weapon. I turned right again and was at the top of the Grove Street. It was a hill, straight down for about five blocks. I slowly coasted down, eyes peeled. Sure enough, two blocks later, the three men were surrounding Jesus. One punched him in the gut. I revved the engine and gunned it, screeching to a halt at the curb. I leaped out of the car as they all turned to face me. Scully stayed in the car. I knew her weapon was ready. Mine was under my windbreaker, but I didn't draw it. "Hey man," I shouted. They were all silent. I pulled out the fake card I'd been given. It had the logo of some computer company in Virginia. My alias, Mulder Baird was printed on it with a number and fax that was hooked up directly to the Bureau where it would be answered by an Agent from the Vice Unit should someone call. "What?" Jesus said, breathing hard, his hand over his stomach. "I forgot to give you my card," I said, approaching the sidewalk. I stepped up onto the curb and the bodies parted. I held the card out to Jesus and I looked at each man in turn. My eyes locked on Eddie Ortiz. Man, he was a big bastard, easily six feet, three inches tall, and broad shouldered. He had a lantern jaw and big teeth. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of Ray Bans, however, it was him without a doubt. Jesus took the card. "I haven't seen her man," he repeated. "Yeah, well, if you do, give that to her." He nodded. I got back in the car and drove away without looking back. Scully was watching the side mirror. "Eddie just snatched the card from him," she said casually. "Well, hopefully it will keep him in one piece," I said. I turned right again and went one block and pulled over. "Why are you stopping?" she asked. "Should we go back?" "Too suspicious," she said. "I meant on foot," I explained. She looked at me while she studied my question. "I think we should send a local black and white by to check on him. Sheriff Hubbel said they regularly patrol the street," she said as she pulled out her cell phone. "Right," I agreed, and pulled back out into traffic, heading for downtown and our hotel room at the Crown Plaza Marriott. Fancy digs compared to what we were used to, but it was the only game in town other than hotels that rented rooms by the hour. Even the Bureau wouldn't go that far down. We arrived and trudged up to our suite. "I need a shower. Then dinner?" I suggested as we entered the living room. She nodded. "Meet you back here in a half hour." Then she disappeared into her bedroom. I went into mine and started to strip, throwing my polo shirt and windbreaker on the bed. I pulled my holster off my belt and put it on the dresser and then stripped out of my jeans. I felt dirty just from standing on that street. Christ. XXXXXXXXXX CROWN PLAZA MARRIOTT ROOM 312 WATERBURY, CT It had been a long three days. Mulder was not a happy camper. Normally, we wouldn't be on a missing person's case. This one was different because the missing person was Tammy Baird. She was the daughter of David Baird, who was the Director of the Bureau's brother-in-law by marriage. David Baird was married to the Director's wife's sister. Make sense? It almost didn't to me. In any case, it had looked like your basic runaway situation at first, but then Baird had received a ransom note asking for a million dollars and saying they would call to arrange a drop. Now, the Bureau's Kidnapping agents were in on this. When the call came, it was traced to Waterbury, Connecticut. The Director had called in his Deputy Directors and Assistant Directors and said he wanted a pair of undercover agents to go to Connecticut. He wanted a pair of agents that could think outside the box. They quickly realized what he meant. There were going to be no rules. Nearly anything needed to find and get Baird's daughter back alive was going to be authorized. Skinner had immediately suggested Mulder and me. I could have cheerfully strangled him when he gave us the news. We tried to back out of it, until he dropped the bomb. The Director had immediately agreed and would consider it a personal favor if we would do this for him. In other words, funding for the X-Files would be in jeopardy if we didn't. If we did, it could mean more cooperation from the brass for the X-Files. We were between a rock and hard place. Therefore, off we went to Connecticut, posing as Mulder and Dana Baird. Mulder was to be Tammy's estranged older brother and I was to be, you guessed it, his wife. Three days of him holding my hand, putting his arm around me and calling me honey. I was ready to spit bullets. Another call had come in from the kidnappers saying they would contact David Baird tomorrow with a drop spot. The call had been traced to Grove Street. When we walked the street showing a picture of her, we were met with stone faces until we ran into Jesus. He'd tried to deny knowing Tammy, but his face had gone pale. He finally agreed to answer a few questions for us if we asked right there on the street. He didn't know we were Feds but he hinted that he knew we were the law of some kind. By the time we got this concession from him, two hookers had already interrupted us, asking Mulder for a date. I wasn't kidding when I said I was ready to draw my weapon. Especially the last one who had looked me up and down and said, "I could do better than her." When I began to question him, Jesus was more helpful than any else had been so far. I got the feeling he felt sorry for Tammy Baird. When I asked if he had ever seen Tammy around here, his answer was, 'Yes.' Did she work the streets? 'Yes.' When was the last time he saw her? 'Two weeks ago at least.' Did she still look the same? 'No, she wasn't a brunette, she was a blonde.' Did she work for Eddie Ortiz? 'Gee, he just didn't know.' I realized Jesus' tenuous situation. I'd almost blown it and put him in serious danger. Mulder rarely asked me to back off on an interview but when he did, I knew something was wrong. It was after I acquiesced to his silent request and stepped back that I noticed that we were being watched. I'd been so caught up in finally finding someone that would talk to us that I hadn't even noticed. Christ, I was supposed to be a trained agent. How had I missed it? I felt like an idiot, and therefore, had not protested when Mulder went back and gave Jesus his card. Hopefully it 'proved' to his cohorts that he was Tammy's brother, and not the law. God, I hoped he didn't get killed over this. There was no doubt in my mind that Jesus was no altar boy. That didn't mean I wanted anyone to lose his or her life over this either. Hopefully my call for the black and white gave Jesus his out. I took off my slacks and sweater and showered. I changed into jeans and a blue blouse and slipped into my sneakers. Being undercover, we were in casual clothes for this assignment. We had signed in as husband and wife, but had a suite with two bedrooms. We both had a private bath attached to our bedrooms, but we shared an efficiency kitchen and common living space with TV, VCR, DVD and a couple of chairs and a sofa and a desk. The place was designed to accommodate business travelers. I had no complaints about the digs. I emerged from my bedroom to find Mulder already showered and changed into snug, well-worn, black jeans and a green dress shirt. His hair was wet and slicked back. He was standing by the coffee table shuffling through a pile of photos in his hands. I approached and he took one of the photos and turned it around so I could see it. It was the one we'd been given of Eddie Ortiz. "That was him for sure," I said. "I know. Shit. I wanted to nail him right there but we couldn't blow our cover." "I know. I'm sorry, Mulder. I almost screwed up big time." I looked down at the carpet. He put the photos on the coffee table and I felt his hands land on my shoulders. He kneaded them gently and I moaned softly feeling my tense muscles revel in the sensation. "Don't worry about it," he said to the top of my head. "How can I not? I could have gotten that guy killed." "But you didn't," he reminded me. "We hope," I added. He lifted my chin with two fingers and said, "We already sent a car to check on him." "I know, but Christ, how could I be so stupid? I got too focused on Jesus." "Scully, they weren't there when we started. They obviously had a lookout on the street and they gathered there in a matter of minutes. We stuck out like sore thumbs." "I know." "We wanted to, but that doesn't change anything. They weren't there to start with." "I should have been watching," I continued to protest. He shook me lightly and smiled down at me. "Stop it. Beating one's self with a big stick is my job." I smiled up at him and said, "I'm hungry." "You want to order room service or mosey on down to the restaurant?" "The restaurant," I said. "Okay, let's go." PART 2 (PG-13) CROWN PLAZA MARRIOTT THE CROWN LOUNGE RESTAURANT WATERBURY, CT "So what do you think?" Mulder asked me after we had ordered and gotten our meals. I was having halibut on a bed of honeyed rice. Mulder, as usual was having a rare steak, baked potato and green beans. "I think you're having a heart attack on a plate," I commented. He smirked. "Mmm, mmm, good!" he mocked. I just shook my head. "What were you really asking about?" "The case. Where we go from here." "I'm not sure there's anything to do at this point until we get the call with the drop location," I said between bites. "Of course, you know that most drops go bad, even when we have advance set up." I sighed. "I know. I'm worried about that. If this goes bad, more than Tammy Baird's life is at stake." "Yeah. Our careers for one," he deadpanned. "I'd like to say I don't care about that, but I do." "I hate playing for the man," he said, referring to the Bureau brass. "Well, you have a passion for autonomy, you always have." "Not really," he countered. "I just don't like being told I HAVE to do anything." "Same difference. Besides, it's really a cover for something else." "What do you mean?" he asked. Now he sounded insulted. "Don't get mad. I feel the same way. I value certain things more than others so I've put myself in a position where I get them. That doesn't mean I don't sacrifice. I don't want suffocation, so I suffer isolation. I don't want bondage, so I suffer independence. I don't want betrayal, so I suffer with safety." "I'm not sure I understand," he replied. "I'm a woman in a man's world, Mulder. Therefore, I value certain things. Most of my relationships with men have suffocated me, so I've learned to avoid relationships. However, I then have to accept that I will suffer from isolation and loneliness. I don't want to feel bound or obligated to anyone financially or otherwise, so I've made myself independent. Unfortunately, that means that sometimes, when I do need someone, there's no one there. I'm so afraid of betrayal, I always make the 'safe' choice. For that, I suffer with boredom and lack of passion." He was nodding now. "Are you talking about your personal life or your professional one?" he inquired. "Both, I guess. One sort of seeps into the other, you know?" "Do you find me suffocating?" he asked quietly. I looked up at him. "No. Well, sometimes you overwhelm me, but not often." "If you ever need some time off or to be alone, Scully, just tell me. I want you to be happy," he said sincerely. I smiled at him. "I know you do, Mulder, but it's not about me needing time away from you or anyone else. It's about fear." "Excuse me? Now you've completely lost me." I smirked at him this time. "Those priorities were set because of fear," I said with a sigh. "I don't even know why I'm talking about this." "No, continue. This is fascinating. I always want to know what you think about stuff like this. I like getting to know Dana," he said sincerely. I eyed him warily. "Really?" He smiled gently at me. "Yeah, so what do you mean the decisions were made because of fear?" "Fear of not being good enough. Fear of losing my reputation. Fear of losing myself to another human being or to my job." He gave me a considering look before saying, "I think you're stronger than that, Scully. You don't give yourself enough credit. Those might have been concerns when you were a rookie, and still pining for your father's approval, but you've come a long way since then." "Pining for my father's approval?" I repeated, not sure whether to be insulted or not. He looked up from his forkful of potato, hearing the tone of my voice. He put his fork down. "It wasn't a bad thing, necessarily, Scully. We all go through it, finding our place in the world. I went through it, and ended up having people use me and abuse me along the way. I kept moving and finally sloughed off the dead weight or the outdated ideals." "So now you're a pessimist instead of an idealist?" "No, I'm a pragmatist. I can see reality and I've come to understand that I don't really have much say about my place in history. I just have to do what feels right at the time." "You never hold back or make decisions because of fear?" I asked incredulously. He shrugged. "Of course I do. I just accept that I don't have a lot of control over my fears, either. I'm worried about you though. You've seemed 'far away' lately." "I'm fine, Mulder," I blurted out automatically. He made a face. "Don't cough up that old hairball again, Scully. You know how I hate it when you say that." "What if it's true and I'm just having a melancholy moment?" I asked. He stared at me like it was the most ridiculous suggestion he'd heard yet. Damn him. He always knew when something wasn't right with me. He usually didn't push it though if I didn't want to talk about it. I realized he wasn't pushing now. I had started this conversation after all. "All right, I haven't been feeling right lately." "In what way?" "I'm not sure. I've just been discontent, I guess." "Discontent?" "Yeah, thinking about the choices I've made and whether I want something different now." He was silent for a moment before he finally asked, "Are you thinking of leaving the X-Files?" "No!" I exclaimed, snapping my head up to look at him again. "Why would you think that?" He shrugged again. "You're rethinking your decisions. You're discontent." "Not with work or the X-Files, or you for that matter," I added. He didn't look convinced. "Mulder, it's more about my personal life." He still didn't say anything and continued to eat with his eyes down on his plate. I sighed. "What is going on in that head of yours?" He looked up tentatively and said, "You want a personal life and work holds you back from that." "Speaking of coughing up old hairballs," I said flatly. "Mulder, if I wanted a personal life I could have one, X-Files or no X-Files. I just have to choose to have one." He got even quieter and the silence stretched. The only sounds were our silverware clanking on the plates as we finished our meal. The waiter arrived and asked if we wanted dessert. Mulder waved at me telling me to decide. "No thank you, just put it on our Room tab, Room 312." The waiter nodded and walked away to get the receipt for the signature. "Let's have coffee in the room, Mulder," I said after completing the transaction. He nodded, acting exceptionally docile. It worried me. I knew something was going on in that head of his and it was probably way left of center. Our conversations lately sounded like they were punctuated by transatlantic delays. It was starting to get on my nerves. I realized I was just as much at fault as he was. I had feelings for my partner, and I'd been repressing them for years. Every time I thought about taking the relationship further, I'd been paralyzed with fear over losing myself, losing my career, and everything I'd worked so hard for. My biggest fear, of course, was that of losing Mulder completely. I was always telling him it wasn't all about him, and yet I believed he had the power to ruin all these things for me. That wasn't fair and I railed against the power he had over me, even if it were unintentional. If I made a choice, it was my choice and I would bear the responsibilities of the fallout. That was the problem right there. A relationship with Mulder could be expensive, emotionally and professionally, should it separate us at work. I wouldn't be able to work at the Bureau if I were separated from Mulder. I know I wouldn't. So there was the rub. The price tag would be high but would it be worth it? Even if it was, was I willing to pay the price? That was the bottom line. I knew the price of not making that choice. I'd been in limbo a long time and it had left me unhappy, unsatisfied, and discontent. Those feelings were growing by the day. Being here, pretending to be his wife, and hearing him call me honey was grating on my nerves and pounding at the wall of my resistance. He had always invaded my personal space, but now he was touching me more and taking liberties he never had before for the sake of our cover. At least, that's what I told myself it was all about in order to guard my heart. Something told me that he was enjoying this a little more than he should, and that made me nervous. If the truth were told, I enjoyed it more than I should as well. It was bringing up all those feelings of attraction, desire, and loneliness. I was getting a glimpse of what was missing in my life and it was making me down right miserable. We had to talk. XXXXXXXXXX CROWN PLAZA MARRIOTT ROOM 312 WATERBURY, CT I made a pot of coffee and we settled down on the couch. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked. "No, I want to talk." He looked surprised but put the remote down on the coffee table and sat back. "What about?" "Me, you, us," I blurted out. He frowned. "What's going on, Scully? You're scaring me," he admitted. I smiled gently at him. "Don't be scared. We're all right, Mulder." "You sure?" he asked. "Yes," I reassured him. He nodded. "What's on your mind?" "This case and others like it, such as that time in Arcadia, make me think about what I'm missing." "A normal life?" he asked. "I'd hardly call Arcadia normal life," I joked. He chuffed out a bit of amusement. "You know what I mean," he stated. "Yeah, I do. Not so much normal, I mean, that's not what I'm after." "What are you after?" "Just a relationship I could call my own that wouldn't smother me, but would support me. There are things I miss about being one half of a couple." "Like what?" "Coming home to someone. I hate coming home to an empty apartment." "Me too," he agreed. "Eating alone, I hate to eat alone. I rarely cook because it seems like a waste of time for just me." "Me too," he agreed again. I paused. "Going to bed with someone," I said my voice nearly a whisper. His eyebrows rose at that and one corner of his mouth turned up. "You miss the affection, or just doing the nasty?" he teased. I chuckled. "Both, I guess." I could feel a blush steal up my neck. His eyes were riveted on me now. "Me too," he repeated. This time his voice was rougher and lower. I shifted my gaze from my coffee cup to his eyes. They were hooded and he looked like he was contemplating something. I stared into them and got lost. I realized at some point, his eyes had begun to flicker over my body and were making me feel warm. "I haven't been honest with you, Mulder," I said after a brief silence. "How so?" he asked. "I've kept things to myself." "You don't need to tell me everything, Scully. We're best friends. Despite the situation, you're not my wife. You don't need to report to me on every little thing." I took another sip of my coffee. "Even if it's about you?" I asked slowly. Oh, now I had his attention. "You're always telling me these emotional times have nothing to do with me," he said. I knew he was doing what I always did, taking the safe route. "Sometimes it isn't, but what if this is?" He just stared at me for several moments. "Then I'd want to know about it," he said finally. "Only if you want to tell me, though. I'd never force you to share something with me you're not comfortable sharing." "I don't think I'll ever be comfortable sharing it," I said truthfully. "Then don't tell me." "I think I need to." "Why is that?" he asked, playing along. "Because it's starting to interfere with my life." "I'd give you anything you asked me for, Scully; if it was mine to give. You know that, don't you?" he asked softly. I looked at his beautiful face again and his sincerity caused a prolonged pang of regret. What the hell was I waiting for? Would there ever be a good time to have this conversation? I could say I should wait till the case was over but that would just be an excuse. There would always be another case and another excuse to post-pone it. It wasn't going to get better on its own. "Can I ask you something?" I began. "Of course. Ask me anything you like," he said automatically. "You promise to tell me the truth?" He stiffened slightly but then relaxed. I was making him nervous again. "Yes. I've never lied to you." "I've never lied to you either, but I've left things out. I've NOT told you things to protect you and myself. You've done the same thing, haven't you?" "I guess. Yeah, I've omitted things." "Why?" He smiled. "Fear." I smiled back. "Do you think I'm attractive?" I blurted out. He laughed now and I frowned. I didn't think it was a funny question. When he realized I wasn't sharing his mirth, his chuckles faded and so did his smile. "Of course, I do," he replied. "What do you mean?" "I mean that every man that looks at you finds you attractive." "That's a ridiculous exaggeration. I'm asking you, though. You said you'd be honest. Don't spare my feelings," I warned. His eyes flickered over me again. 'Did it suddenly get hot in here?' I wondered as I felt sweat prickle my hairline at the base of my neck. "I think you're more than attractive, Scully. I've always thought so. You're a beautiful woman." "I know I'm your best friend and you respect me. I mean, physically, Mulder." He grinned now. "So do I," he said without hesitation. I stared at him and swallowed noisily. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" I asked cautiously. He shook his head. "No, I've always thought you were stunning. The older you get, the more gorgeous you are. You've lost all the girlish softness. Now you're sleek and gorgeous." "Wow," I said softly and took another sip of my coffee. "Thank you," I said belatedly. He chuckled. "No problem. Is that what the problem is? You're worried about your looks lately or something?" "Well, I don't get asked out a lot, Mulder," I informed him as if he didn't already know that. "There's several reasons for that," he said automatically. "Such as?" I coaxed. "Most guys see a beautiful woman like you and automatically think that you're out of their league, so they don't even try. Others are threatened by your intelligence and they are afraid you'll make them look stupid." "That's silly," I said quietly. He continued as if I hadn't spoken. "Then there's me." I darted a look at him again. "What do you mean, you?" "I mean I probably prevent a lot of guys from approaching you." "How?" He shrugged, looking more uncomfortable by the moment. "I lean into your personal space. It's a guy signal to other guys to back off." My mouth dropped open. "Why?" I squeaked out. "I give them dirty looks if they look like they are going to approach you for anything other than a professional reason. They usually pick up on it and back off." "Why?" I asked again, getting agitated. He looked down and drank his own coffee to avoid answering. "I've said too much," he muttered. "No, I don't think you've said nearly enough!" He sighed and lifted his head. He took a deep breath and said, "Because I don't want you with anyone else." He saw my look of outrage. How dare he? Then I sensed a deeper meaning under the surface of his comment and waited, wondering what to say. This wasn't just about losing me as a partner at work or a friend. He said, "It's selfish, I know. I know it's wrong, even when I'm doing it, but I can't help myself." "Why?" I asked, again. That seemed to be the only word I could croak out. "You can't figure it out?" he asked defensively. "I don't know," I said finally, taking the safe route, again. He looked away and stared at something over my shoulder. I knew he wasn't really focusing on it though. "Don't you get it?" he asked. "Are you saying you want to be with me?" I asked quietly. He nodded once, curtly, but still didn't look at me. "Oh, my God," I whispered. He stood up and walked his coffee cup to the sink. I knew it was a diversionary tactic. No more. I wasn't going to allow this any longer. "Mulder, come back here," I demanded. He turned and walked back to the couch like he was ordered to go to the firing squad. Finally I reached over and put my coffee cup down and said, "Don't you know, Mulder?" He looked at me. "Know what?" he asked tersely. PART 3 (NC-17) CROWN PLAZA MARRIOTT ROOM 312 WATERBURY, CT "That's what I've been trying to tell you." He looked at me blankly, a spark of fear in his eyes. "I want to be with you too, Mulder." His eyes went wide with shock and his breathing speeded up. "What?" I smiled, feeling my tension and fear drain away. He wanted me! Oh, but I knew that I loved him. I needed to know how he felt. "How do you feel about me, Mulder?" Now he looked panicked. "Would it help if I went first?" I asked. He nodded. "Please." I scooted down to sit right next to him and reached up to cup his face. "I love you, Mulder. I have for a long time." "No," he breathed out. " That's impossible." I laughed. "No, it isn't. I've hidden it, repressed it for a long time. Then we get assigned one of these cases and you're touching me and calling me pet names," I said. "And?" he asked, a twinkle of hope in his eyes. "It drives me crazy and I find myself wondering what's holding me back. I find myself wanting more; realizing what I'm missing." "Those things, coming home to someone, going to bed with someone, you want them with me?" he asked tentatively. I nodded and smiled. He looked flabbergasted. "I can't believe it," he said softly. "Believe it," I whispered, as I leaned forward and covered his mouth with mine. He was stiff as a board for a second but then he melted against me. His arms went around my waist and he hauled me up against him. His tongue battled with mine for control of the kiss. I was still nervous and fearful, but I pushed those feelings down. I felt like a gymnast teetering on a balance beam. If my dismount were good, I would win the gold. If it sucked, I would go down hard. My hands began to wander his chest and his became mobile as well. We rubbed and smelled, and kissed and pressed against one another. I finally returned to his mouth after exploring his neck and collarbones. His neck was very sensitive if the moans were anything to go by. When I needed air, I finally broke the kiss reluctantly. I leaned my forehead against his. "How far are we going, Scully?" he asked. I smiled. "I think we've waited long enough, don't you?" He grinned enthusiastically. "Absolutely," he said with conviction. I laughed and stood up. "You're place or mine?" I asked saucily. It was his turn to laugh but he said, "Yours." "Any reason?" I asked as I headed toward my bedroom, towing him along by the hand. "The sheets will smell like you," he admitted. I stopped inside the door and spun to look at him. I felt tears prick the back of my eyelids. It was such an unexpected thing for him to say. "You like the way I smell?" I asked. He nodded. "Yeah. I've stolen your tee-shirts sometimes so I could sleep with them," he confessed. I couldn't stop the few tears that escaped this time. "Oh, Mulder." I moved further into the room and stopped by the bed. I undressed him first and then let him undress me. We kissed exposed skin as we went about our tasks, taking our time. Finally, we were nude. We stood and stared at one another for a minute and then I leaned into him and put my arms around his neck. He bent down to kiss me again and lifted me against him. I felt the evidence of his desire press into my belly and I moaned gently. He backed me up and when my knees touched the bed, he lowered me slowly to the mattress. His lips never left mine. Now our hands really went into action, exploring every inch of skin we could reach. I nearly levitated off the bed when his lips found my turgid nipples and began to suck and lick on them. My sex pulsed with desire and heat and flooded with wetness. I'd forgotten how good this felt. His hands were hot and it felt like he was branding me everywhere he touched. He explored my breasts, my ribs, my navel and finally moved down to explore my legs, staring at the ankle and working his way back up until he was panting onto my moist curls. XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX He levered my legs over his shoulders and I moaned at the sight of him between my legs. He went down on me without a word and I shivered and bucked and whined before he was through. His fingers, along with that talented mouth, brought me to orgasm twice before he released me from the torment of his oral fixation. He moved up my body. I expected a smug look on his face but was surprised by what I saw there. Love, lust, but underneath that, reverence. "Scully," he whispered my name like prayer. I reached down and grabbed his penis firmly. He moaned and I gasped as I realized my fingers didn't reach all the way around it. Jesus, I'd though he was fully erect before. Maybe I hadn't gotten a good enough look at it. It felt like satin over throbbing, hot steel. I stroked him and he threw his head back, barking out with pleasure, "Oh Fuck!" HOLYMARYMOTHEROFGOD! He was freakin' BIG. The thickness would have been enough to freak me out slightly, but the length wasn't too shabby either. I didn't know how long, but definitely bigger than any I'd had. It had been a while, too. "Jesus, Mulder, be careful with this thing," I muttered. He laughed then and it was a sound of unadulterated joy. It was a sound that I'd never heard from him before and it made my blood sing. His fingers feathered over my labia, opening me wide. I guided him to my opening, inviting him in. He put his elbows on the bed and slid his hands under my back and curled them palm up over my shoulders. Dear Lord, he was big all over. I rarely paid attention to the difference in our sizes, but it was glaringly apparent now. Strangely, it didn't bother me. I didn't feel overwhelmed or trapped. I felt safe and aroused. "Do it, love me, Mulder," I gasped out. "Awwwww, God, yes!" he cried out as he sank into me, pressing the inconceivable mass of his member deep inside me. I heard a high-pitched whine squeeze out of the back of my throat and he stopped, panting. He was pressing against my cervix and the pressure felt incredible. I knew pressure on the cervix made some women feel nauseous, but it had always sent me flying. I looked down and found that he was not fully inside me. I wanted it all. "I want it all," I said aloud. He grunted. "I thought you wanted me to be careful with this thing," he joked, repeating my words. My muscles squeezed him as I laughed. "Oh, Scully, stop that!" I had to forcibly repress my laughter. I was giddy, borderline hysterical. I couldn't believe Mulder was inside me. "Move," I instructed. He began to pump slowly. He was huge, not to the point of pain, but almost. His strokes brought more lubrication from my body and he was soon sliding in and out completely without difficulty. This was not to say I couldn't feel the incredible pressure as he spread my muscles wider than they had ever been spread. I could and the feeling was divine. I felt my womb tighten and my walls clamp around his shaft. I was on the verge of orgasm after only about one minute. "Oh God, how is this possible?" I whimpered. XXXXXXXXXX I was beginning to lose myself in the ecstasy of her body. She was so small and snug around my cock that I worried I would blow it as soon as I sank into her. Now that I was moving, my arousal had leveled out a bit but the pleasure was still intense. When I felt her lower body stiffen and her muscles clamp down tighter on me, I knew she was close. I leaned in and began to pump harder, making sure to roll my stomach over her mons, stimulating her clitoris. "Oh God, this is insane! Oh shit, it's so good. Aaaahhhhh, Ggggaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" she screamed out as the force of her orgasm ripped through us both. I kept slamming into her as her orgasm continued. My mind snapped and I sank into the ecstasy of making love to her. She was meeting my thrusts and I was beginning to sweat. "Oh God, it's so good, Scully." XXXXXXXXX He pistoned his cock inside me over and over. I was drenched and felt my juices trickling down between the cheeks of my butt. It was as if he couldn't get deep enough. I came like a firecracker, once, twice, three times and felt a deep flush spread through my body. Then he was bellowing and his thrusts became manic and jerky. He finally pushed deep, held himself there, buried his nose in my neck and cried out as I felt his warm semen splash inside me. I could feel the pulsing of his shaft and it made me shiver. He collapsed on me and went to move away. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and whispered, "Stay." XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX He let his weight down tentatively and I hummed. "Feels good." We panted for a couple of minutes until our breathing was under control. Into the silence, he said, "I love you, Scully." When he tensed, I squeezed him tightly and said, "I love you too, Mulder. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." "Me too, I mean, I'm sorry I didn't tell you." "I know what you mean," I replied, running my fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp lightly. It made him shiver and I loved to see him react to my touch. "We made love," he said, sounding astonished. I chuckled. "Yes, we did." "Can we do it again sometime?" he asked, sounding innocent. I laughed harder. "I certainly hope so," I said. I felt his lips smile against the skin of my neck and then he kissed me there. Finally, he rolled off of me and went onto his back. I cuddled up to his side and he wrapped his arms around me. I put a hand on his chest and threw my leg over his thigh, snuggling in close. He made a sound of contentment in his throat. "I'll never forget this case," he said. "Why's that?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. "Because it's when I finally got to make love to you. I've been waiting a long time." "No more waiting, Mulder." "Mmm, good," he muttered and then slipped into sleep. XXXXXXXXXX SEVEN ANGELS THEATER HAMILTON PARK & PLANK ROAD WATERBURY, CT 2:00 PM The drop was scheduled to happen any minute now. David Baird was here in our car, sweating bullets. Anyone with any street sense would take one look at him and know something wasn't right. I had an eerie feeling he was going to blow this. We were parked down the street. The kidnappers had said they would meet David behind the theater. Of course, they would bring Tammy. Of course, if any cops were spotted, they were out of there, and Tammy would be killed. Of course, we had no evidence that Tammy was alive now. We had advised that he insist on some sort of proof that she was alive. They said no, and he caved, thereby putting us in a position of having no leverage. I didn't like it. Scully didn't either. "You ready?" I asked David Baird. "I guess," he stammered. "Look, Mr. Baird, you need to pull it together. You look like you're about to shit your pants." "Mulder!" Scully admonished. I shrugged. Baird was giving me a dirty look. "These guys respect strength and you have the worst poker face I've ever seen." "What am I supposed to do? I'm scared. You would be too if it was your daughter out there." "I doubt she's out there." "What do you mean?" he demanded. "It would be stupid for them to bring her to the meet. It's fucking broad daylight, Sir. She's not going to be with them." "They promised!" "Oh please!" I said sarcastically. The wimp looked like he was about to cry. "What else can we do, Mulder, they are expecting David Baird," Scully said. I thought for a minute. "Do they know what you look like?" "I don't think so." "They didn't request a faxed photo of who would do the drop?" "No." "Amateurs. Look, why don't I take the suitcase?" "What?" Scully and he cried at the same time. "They don't know what you look like. I could be you. I'm old enough to be her father." "You pretended to be her brother," Scully reminded me. "On the street. Her kidnappers would not have shown themselves on that street, I guarantee it. They may have lookouts who reported back, but the kidnapper or kidnappers were not on that street two days ago." "What if it's Eddie Ortiz?" "It's not Eddie. He just protecting his racket when he thought Jesus was going to rat him out. He doesn't give a shit about one girl in his stable." "Mulder, a little sensitivity," Scully scolded again. "Look, Mr. Baird, time to face facts. These guys, amateurs or not, are going to chew you up and spit you out. Besides, if you get hurt the Director will have my badge. Let me take the suitcase with the money and do the drop. Scully, you can circle around the theater in the other direction and provide back up." "What do I do?" David asked. I looked at him. "Sit here and keep your fucking head down." PART 4 (R) SEVEN ANGELS THEATER HAMILTON PARK & PLANK ROAD WATERBURY, CT Why the Bureau had sent him to do this personally was a fucking mystery. They rarely did that unless the kidnappers knew the person they were demanding ransom from. We'd been shocked when he showed up instead of an Agent posing as him. "It's my daughter out there," he repeated, showing surprising tenacity. "I know, but the best chance to get her back is to let me do this. I'm armed and you're not. If something goes wrong, you'll be dead before you hit the pavement," I said callously. The guy didn't need to be any more scared but I needed to jolt him out of this stubborn insistence that he needed to do this himself 'for his daughter'." He stared at me for a moment and I said, "We're running out of time. Make a decision," I demanded. "All right. We'll do it your way." "Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll be with them," I said, trying to soft pedal my harshness. He nodded and handed the suitcase of money over the front seat. "Let's go, Scully." I wrenched the door open on the car and began the trek one block down to the theater. The instructions were to approach the theater head on and then skirt to the left of the building, which was adjacent to the parking lot. At the end of the side of the building, there was a gate. I was to go through and slip behind the theater. There was nothing but grass, trees, and shrubs back there. You couldn't see the road from back there and no one on the road could see you because of an eight-foot high stockade fence that ran from the back of the theater on the right side along the highway, blocking your view. Beyond the trees was Hamilton Park, which was also surrounded by fence. I strode confidently along, my eyes peeled for anything unusual. I had no idea how many of these guys awaited me, but I assumed there was at least two or three. Scully lagged behind me and when I turned left at the front of the theater, she kept walking. She was going to double back and go in the front door of the theater and come out the emergency exit on the right of the back wall of the theater if she heard any trouble. The owner of the theater had left it unlocked for us. I unclasped my holster on my waist, and pulled my windbreaker down over it. Once I was alongside the building, I scanned the parking lot and saw nothing unusual, so I reached down and checked my back-up gun in the holster at my ankle. I was wearing jeans with a boot cuff so I could cover the second gun but still have easy access to it if necessary. I took a deep breath and proceeded to the gate. It was stockade fence, so I couldn't see through it but I stopped and held still, listening. I heard nothing for about thirty seconds and then I heard footsteps coming toward me. A few twigs and branches snapped, and leaves crackled underfoot. They certainly weren't making any effort to be quiet. The footsteps stopped and I continued to listen. One of them said, "Where is he?" "He'll be here." "He's late," the first one said. The second one said, "One minute. Don't get jumpy yet." "Think he'd be stupid enough to bring the cops?" "Not if he wants to see Tammy alive again." "Remind me why we're doing this?" "Because we discovered one of our favorite whores had a rich daddy and I don't feel like spending the rest of my fucking life in the Waterbury projects. Now shut up and wait." "This better work or Eddie will kill us for taking one of his girls." "I said, SHUT. UP." Silence again. I backed up silently and then made noise as I took a couple steps toward the fence. I pushed it open, carrying the case in my left hand so I could draw with my right if I needed to. There were only two of them. Neither was from the street two days ago and I breathed a sigh of relief. That had been a partial bluff on my part. I suspected it wasn't Eddie's gang that had done this, but I really wasn't sure. I had nothing to back up my suspicions, just intuition and instinct, which I knew read poorly on a case report. "I'm here," I announced firmly. "Where's Tammy?" I asked immediately. One of the guys smiled. They were both wearing gang color jackets and I was ashamed to say I couldn't identify them. I really should bone up on that kind of stuff. I did know they were Latino. "She's safe. You David Baird?" "No, I'm fucking Mickey Mouse. Where's my daughter, you punk?" I hollered, figuring they would expect me to be upset. "Hand over the money and we'll tell you where she is." I did a quick calculation in my head. "No." "What, motherfucker?" "I said no. No Tammy, no money." "Show us the money, we'll take you to Tammy." "No Tammy, no money," I repeated. "You think you're tough, motherfucker?" the first one asked. He seemed to be the leader of this cluster fuck. He pulled a gun and I held up my free hand. "Put the case on the ground and open it up. Show me the money." Was his dialogue straight from the Jerry McGuire movie? What the hell? He was an idiot. That didn't make him any less deadly, maybe more so, in fact. I bent down slowly and set the case on the ground. I flipped the latches and carefully opened the suitcase. It was piled neatly with one million dollars in tens, twenties and fifties, just as requested. They were all marked bills. "Close it," he said, waving the barrel of the gun at me. I did as requested, snapped it closed and stood back up. I put my free hand on my waist, like I was nervous. "Where's Tammy?" I asked again. "Follow me, we'll take you to her." "I'm not an idiot. I'm not falling for that. You bring her here. I'll wait." "No, I think you'll come with us," he sneered and stepped into me, pressing the barrel of the gun to my head. "All right, don't shoot!" I hollered. He grabbed my arm and began marching me into the trees. Just then I heard a scream from out in the woods off to my left. "Oh shit," the second one said. "Didn't you gag the bitch?" my captor snarled. "Yeah!" While they were engaged in this little conversation, I heard the door to the theater creak open but neither one of them noticed. Kidnapper number two was running into the woods, supposedly to re-gag his captive. Well, at least that meant she was alive and close. I didn't dare turn my head. I had no idea how trigger happy this kid was. I thought I heard another noise and my captor twisted backwards to look behind us. He still held my arm but the barrel of the gun slipped away from the back of my skull. I didn't hesitate. I slammed my elbow backwards into his solar plexus. I heard his grunt and swung around to see Scully in a firing stance behind us. He swung his arm to level the gun at me and I charged him, throwing my whole body weight into him and grabbing his wrist that held the gun. We crashed to the ground and he squeezed the trigger. The shot echoed through the woods. Scully was beside me in seconds. I pried the gun out of his hand and she helped me roll him over. We dragged back a few feet against the fence and Scully securely cuffed his hands to the main post of the gate. I stuck his weapon into my pants and drew my own. "What the fuck, man? Who the fuck are you?" I didn't know if he was addressing Scully or me. "Not your lucky day, handsome," I said. "Watch him. Call for backup," I said to Scully. She nodded. I slipped into the woods and headed off in the same general direction the other punk had headed. I'd only gone about twenty feet when I heard idiot number two coming my way. He was running. "I heard a shot! What are you fucking crazy? Did you kill him?" Just then he came around a tree and into view and nearly ran right into the muzzle of my Sig. "WHOA!" he hollered and raised his hands. "You got any weapons on you?" "No, man." "Keep your hands up." I patted him down with one hand, keeping my gun on him and then pulled cuffs off my belt and wrenched his arms around behind him. "Where is Tammy?" He hesitated and I jerked up on his arms, nearly pulling them out of socket. "Owww, fuck, man. I'll show you!" "Start walking," I commanded. He took me through the woods another forty feet or so and we emerged behind an isolated apartment building. He led me to a dumpster. He indicated it with a tilt of his head. "She's in the dumpster?" I asked. "Yeah, man." I shoved him down on his knees, face first into the brick of the building. "Don't move or you're a dead man." "Who are you?" "FBI." "Awww, fuck me." "No, you're not my type," I shot back. I hurriedly lifted the lid and had to lever myself up on my arms to look inside. Sure enough, there was a woman in the bottom of the empty dumpster. She was hog-tied; her hands behind her back and tied to her ankles. She was gagged with a bandanna. She looked up at me with terrified eyes. "I'm gonna get you out," I said. She nodded. I jumped down and saw some milk crates. I jammed my Sig back in its holster and picked them up, bringing them back over to the dumpster. I looked at the kidnapper. "You budge away from that wall and you'll be amazed at how fast I can move." He nodded. I hiked myself up on the milk crates and hung my torso into the dumpster. The smell of rotting garbage nearly turned my stomach. I was just able to reach her, but not enough to get a hold of her to pull her up. "Can you sit up?" She had a difficult time with her arms and legs tied, but she wiggled around until her back was against the front of the dumpster and she was on her knees with her legs bent up behind her. "Sorry," I said in advance as I grabbed her under the armpits and heaved her upwards. She groaned behind the gag, but came out of the dumpster fairly unscathed. I set her down gently and untied her gag. I then pulled out my pocketknife and cut the rope that was tying her arms and legs. She shouted in pain as her arms and legs straightened out and the blood flowed into them. I picked her up and walked back the few feet to the grass at the edge of the trees and set her down. Just then Scully emerged, marching kidnapper number one in front of her, the briefcase of money in her left hand. "Scully, check her out. I'll call for a pick up and let them know where we are." She shoved her guy down against the wall next to mine, and then turned to tend to the girl. "I'm a doctor, Tammy. I'm Special Agent Dana Scully." The girl just stared at her with wide eyes. She was clearly in shock. She rubbed her arms and legs helping her circulation come back and checked her for other injuries. She didn't seem to be in too bad a shape. She was dehydrated and hungry, bruised and had a few cuts, but overall, not in bad shape. It was a miracle. The local black and white arrived in just a few minutes. They took kidnapper number one first, but I surreptitiously motioned for them to wait on the second one. When his friend was out of sight, I looked at my kidnapper and said, "What's your name?" "Mud, now, man." "Besides that." "Dennis." "Dennis what?" "Fernandez," he replied. "Well, Mr. Fernandez. Today is not your lucky day over all. However, I'm happy to report that since the girl is alive, you are in better shape than if she wasn't. Since you had no weapon and didn't threaten a federal officer's life, you're also in better shape than your buddy back there." "What are you saying?" "You drop a dime on him as the mastermind and the muscle and you could walk away from this light." He stared at me. "He's my brother." "For real?" "No, man. My brother, you know." "Your gang brother," I clarified. "Yeah." "Well, let me let you in a little secret, Dennis. If you don't help convict your brother, that got you arrested for federal kidnapping, you're going away for a long time. You didn't just kidnap a rich businessman's daughter." He gulped. "We didn't?" "No, she's the Director of the FBI's niece, you asshole. You think he's going to be lenient on you. I'll bet he has a lot of pull with whatever Judge sits on this one." "Oh fuck," he muttered. "Think about it. I could tell he was behind this." He nodded. "I'll think about it." I nodded to the cop and he marched him away to the squad car sitting out on the street. By now, David Baird had seen the cop cars screech by and got out of the driver's seat and followed them through the trees. He came running to the back of the building and cried out when he saw Tammy sitting on the grass. He rushed to her and grabbed her in a fierce hug. She grunted and winced. He apologized and they both cried, obviously happy to see each other. There were problems there. She didn't run away and become a prostitute for no reason, but that part was none of my business. David Baird pumped my hand until I thought it would fall off, showering us with praise. The ambulance arrived and took Tammy to Waterbury Hospital Emergency Room to be checked out. We followed to see how things went. She was treated and released and by the time we left there was a crowd of reporters outside. We hustled them into the car and drove to the hotel. David had rented a suite himself. We made the necessary phone calls and finished our final report. We decided to spend the night and head back in the morning. We were both exhausted and fell into bed together. We were too tired for a repeat performance of the previous night. It didn't matter though. Now, I knew there would be lots of tomorrows to look forward to. XXXXXXXXXX CROWN PLAZA MARRIOTT ROOM 312 WATERBURY, CT My cell phone was ringing and I rolled over, grabbing it off the bedside table. "Mulder," I croaked. There was a hesitation and then I heard Skinner ask, "Agent Mulder?" "Yeah." He sounded amused when he asked, "Did I wake you?" "Yeah, you did as a matter of fact. We had a big day yesterday." "So I heard." I could hear the humor in his voice. "What's so funny?" "Why are you answering Agent Scully's phone?" he asked casually. "Oh shit," I mumbled, covering the phone with my hand. He heard me anyway and I could hear him chuckling. Scully poked her head out and I handed her the phone, mouthing, "It's Skinner." Her eyes went wide but she took the phone from me clearing her throat. XXXXXXXXXX "Hello, Sir. What can I do for you?" I asked in what I hoped was my best professional voice. "Tell Agent Mulder to relax. Your secret is safe with me." "Excuse me, Sir?" "He just answered your phone, Agent Scully." "We do that sometimes, Sir, answer each other's phones." "At five o'clock in the morning?" he asked. "What?" I asked, my eyes darting to the clock. He just laughed on the other end of the phone. "Don't worry about it. Listen, I'm in early today." "Obviously," I said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. It only made him chuckle more. "Are we in trouble now?" "Nope, not at all. Like I said, your secret's safe with me. In fact, the Director is very pleased and can't wait to get you back to D.C. to thank you personally." "Oh yeah? What did we win?" I asked. I could hear the laughter in his voice. "A few goodies. I'll tell you all about them when you get here. I'm calling because he's really anxious to have your final report. Is there any way you could e-mail it to me before you catch your flight?" "Of course, Sir. I'll get right on that, as soon as I wake up," I deadpanned. He was entirely too amused by this situation. "Thank you. That's all, Agent Scully. Have a good flight." He hung up and I snapped the phone closed and groaned, burying my face in the pillow. Mulder rolled me over and was grinning from ear to ear. "What's so funny?" I groaned. "Sounds like he approves." "I wouldn't get cocky." He pressed his erection into my leg. "I'm plenty cocky," he retorted. "You're incorrigible." "You love me anyway," he said. I smiled. "Yes, I do. Now get your butt in the shower. We have an early flight." He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted and I was tempted to suck on it but I knew where that would lead. The next time we made love, I wanted it to be in my bed. "Next time in my bed," I informed him. His eyes lit up and I kissed his nose. "Up!" He finally slid out of bed, gloriously nude. I sighed as I watched that fantastic butt make its way into the bathroom. "Joining me, Scully?" he shouted from beyond the door. "Is it safe?" "Of course!" he chortled. Well, this was never going to be dull. THE END.