Title:           SCULLY LOVE     Finished 9/13/03, Posted 9/14/03

Author:          FatCat (feedback to FatCat926@msn.com)

Website:         Please visit the wonderful home Donnilee has
                 created to house my stories at
                 http://donnilee.tripod.com.  Just follow my name
                 to find my stories.  While you are there, take a
                 peek at the other wonderful stories Donnilee has
                 at her site.  Thank you Donni!

Rating:          NC17 for loving sexual conduct

Category:        MSR, RST  Mulder Comfort

Spoilers:        No Requiem, season 8 or season 9 in this world,
                 but you will find bits and pieces of Fire and
                 Closure.

Archive:         As you wish, but please keep my name attached and
                 let me know where to visit.

Summary:         Mulder hits an emotional wall after Closure
                 and Scully makes a decision.

Disclaimer:      They aren't mine nor anyone's but CC, Fox, 1013,
                 DD, and GA's.  These works are used without
                 permission-no infringement intended.

Author's Notes:  A big THANK YOU to Frohike-Beta Extraordinaire.
                 Without your honesty and talent,
                 I wouldn't enjoy this nearly as much!


XXXXX

I unlocked the door with my key and stepped into the darkness.

I knew he was here, his car was down front and his running shoes
were in the middle of the floor.

I stepped through the dining area into the living room.  The only
obvious sound was the fish tank filter as it bubbled and gurgled
quietly.  The blue light from the tank acted like a beacon.

He was there, on the couch, crying silently.  Great, broken sobs
were wracking his body, but no sound emerged.  Words from an old
10cc song drifted through my mind.

"...be quiet, big boys don't cry....big boys don't cry... big boys
don't cry..."

And I knew as surely as I stood there, that this was how he had
handled his pain from the time he was young.  Silently.   Alone.

I watched him for a moment, trying to decide what to do.  Should I
leave him alone, let him handle this blow as he had all the others?
After all, he had survived so much in his life... Samantha's
disappearance, his Mother's indifference, his father's abuse.

Should I leave and let him hold on to his dignity?  Or should I stay
and give in to the need I have to help him?  Will he be comforted or
will he be embarrassed?

He moved into a fetal position, wrapping his arms around his torso
and rocking as if he were trying to comfort himself.  The rush of
emotions that had sent me out of my bed and into the night to him
washed over me again.

I couldn't stand here inactive any longer, "Mulder?"

He stopped rocking and straightened out his legs.  "Go home, Scully.
I'm fine."

I snorted and moved closer to kneel by his side.  I tentatively
reached out to stroke his hair, but as soon as my fingers brushed
against him, he jerked away.  He burrowed into the back of the couch
and said, "I said, go home Scully.  I need to be alone.  I'll be
fine tomorrow."

I silently contemplated his words.  Yes, he would be functional
tomorrow.  He would compress this pain and sorrow into another
little badge of honor, or should I say horror, and hang it on the
hair shirt of guilt that he wears like some kind of Tim Burton-esque
Boy Scout vest.  He would be functional, but he wouldn't be 'fine'.

"Not this time Mulder," I said as I rose to sit beside him on the
edge of the couch.  "Never again."

I pulled him towards me; I needed to see his eyes.  He resisted.

I insisted, "Mulder, turn over or I will call the EMT's and have
them take you to the hospital."

He snorted, "For what?  A broken heart?  I've got news for you Dr.
Scully, they'd laugh you out of the medical profession for a
diagnosis like that."

Softly, I began to stroke his hair.  "Not for a broken heart,
Mulder.  For shock.  You're cold and clammy and your heartbeat is
irregular."

"How do you know that?  You've barely touched me," he said with a
bitter laugh.

"I don't need to touch you to know how you respond to pain.  I can
see your pulse throbbing in the vein at the side of your temple.  I
know that you are cold and clammy by the appearance of your skin.  I
know you, Mulder."

He rolled slightly towards me, but did not look into my eyes.

"She's dead, Scully.  They're all dead.  Samantha.  Dad.  Mom," he
whispered.  "I am the last of the Mulders."

I knew that he would hit this wall eventually.  The La Pierre case
had kept him busy for a while, but now that was over.  The grim
realities of Samantha's diary, his mother's suicide, survivors'
guilt...have finally caught up to him.

"Mulder," I said as I gently palmed his cheek and looked into his
eyes.  "You may be the last of the Mulders, but you are not alone."

He tried to roll back against the cushions of the couch, but I
refused to let him move away from me.  He closed his eyes to avoid
my gaze.

"Mulder, look at me," I gently coaxed.  I tried to think of how to
reach him.

It took a moment, but he did look up at me.  His beautiful eyes
were awash with repressed tears.  "You will always have me, Mulder,
as long as I live."

As supportive as my statement sounded when I thought about saying
it, his reaction made me realize that it was not what he needed.
Tears that he had held in check, flooded his eyes and he suddenly
turned a greenish color.

"I... I gotta..."  He pushed himself to his feet and bolted for the
bathroom.  The sound of his vomiting was loud and painful, even to
me.  What had I done?

I got a washcloth out of the hall closet and took it into the
kitchen.  I wet the cloth and wrung it out.  I pulled open his
cupboard and shook out three Tylenol, snagged a bottle of water from
the refrigerator and headed back towards the living room.

He had not returned to the couch so I continued down the hall to the
bathroom and pushed open the door.

He was kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet.  His left hand
was clutching the top of the tank and he had his head lying against
his arm, at-the-ready for another wave of nausea.

When he looked up at me, it was all I could do not to start crying
myself.  "Better?"

He nodded.  "Here, Mulder, take these."  I handed him the Tylenol
and opened the bottle of water for him.  He took the bottle and used
a some to rinse out his mouth before taking the pills.

I took the bottle from him and set it aside.  I pulled him to his
feet and he headed back towards the living room.  I redirected him
towards his bedroom.

I was surprised when I turned on the light.  The waterbed was gone
and along with it the canopy with the mirror tiles.  In its place
was a lovely king-sized bed with a Mission-style frame.  A down
blanket covered the bed instead of a spread.  It was neat and clean
and very masculine...very Mulder.

I smiled my approval when I caught him watching me for my first
impression of his redecorating.

"Nice," I said as I led him to the bed.  "Much better than the
waterbed, Mulder.  Much more your style."  I put the water bottle
down on the night stand.

"Thanks," he murmured.

I gently pushed on his shoulder and he sat on the bed.  He was as
weak as a rag doll.  His misery had robbed him of all his strength.

I began to undress him but he stayed my hands, "Don't, Scully.  I can
do it myself."

I stood there with his hands covering mine, looking at him for a
long moment.  "I know you can, Mulder, but please let me."

For a few seconds I thought he was going to refuse my request.  He
stared intently at me, as if trying to understand why I was still
there.  When he nodded his head and dropped his hands to his side, I
let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

I slid his tie loose and tossed it on top of the dresser.  I pulled
his shirt from his pants and unbuttoned it.  He was still cold, so I
left it on him while I knelt to remove his shoes and socks.  His
quick intake of breath did not go unnoticed.

I shoved his shoes under the edge of the bed and threw his socks in
the direction of his laundry basket.  He was watching me intently,
trying to figure out why I was here and what I planned to do.

"Got it figured out yet, Mulder?" I teased as I slid my hands up his
calves and over the top of his thighs.

I slowly rose up from a kneeling position to stand between his legs.
I let my hands rest on his shoulders, gently rubbing away the
tension I could feel there.

"What are you doing, Scully?"  His velvet growl melted the anger that
helped fuel my original reason to make this late night visit.

"I'm taking care of you, Mulder.  Can you let me help?  Will you
accept what I'm offering?"

"And just exactly what are you offering, Dr. Scully?" his humor was
a good sign.  He was feeling better if he could crack a joke, but
humor was not my goal tonight.

"I'm not here as Dr. Scully," I said as I stepped back and pulled
him to his feet.  "You're still cold, Mulder.  I think you need a
nice warm bath."

"Sounds like the Dr. Scully I know and..." Mulder coughed to cover
his final words.

"Maybe so, Mulder, but common sense tells you that you can bring up
your body temperature with a warm bath."  We had reached the bath-
room again and I pushed down the toilet seat.  He sat down waiting
to see what came next.

I flipped the lever for the tub drain and turned on the hot water,
full blast.  I shut the door to trap the steam that began to fill
the room.  I adjusted the water to a more reasonable temperature and
turned back to Mulder.

I picked up his right hand and caressed it before moving up his
wrist to unbutton his shirt sleeve.  I gave his left hand and
button the same treatment before I slid his shirt off his shoulders.
I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his trousers.  I didn't want to
lower his body temperature any further, so I checked the water
before I removed the rest of his clothes.

"Do you mind if I use some of your shampoo in the water?" I asked.

"I...um I have some stuff under the sink, in the back," he mumbled.

I nodded and turned to the cabinet.  Way in the back was a bottle of
my favorite body wash.  I smiled at him and poured a healthy dollop
under the faucet.

I turned back to Mulder and was surprised to see him looking down
and blushing.  I cupped his cheeks in my hands and forced him to look
at me.

"Do you like this scent?" I asked.

He whispered, "It reminds me of you."

I leaned in and kissed his forehead before I helped him pull his tee
shirt off.  I motioned for him to stand up and when he did, I
unzipped his pants and pulled them down, along with his boxers.

He must have been more exhausted than I realized because he was
surprisingly docile while I undressed him.  I gave him some privacy
while I folded his trousers and hung them on the hanger I found on
the back of the door.

He sat down in the tub with a moan, "What are you trying to do to
me, Scully?  Roast me alive?"

"Quit complaining, Mulder.  The hot water will help bring your body
temperature back up to normal and relax all your muscles."

His moan of discomfort turned into a sigh of relief as he sank down
into the water.

"I'll be right back with the towels," I said.

I walked to his linen closet and pulled out two huge body sheets.
His mother has sent him one for his birthday every year I had known
him.  He had quite the collection.  Unfortunately, she won't be
sending another.  I prayed he didn't make the connection.

I retrieved my purse and carried everything back into his bedroom.
I pulled the small bottle of lotion I always carry out of my bag.
After I put everything on the nightstand, I stripped off my clothes
and wrapped one of the towels around my body.

"If you're not here as Dr. Scully, why are you here?" he called out
from the bathroom.  He obviously was feeling better because his
active mind had started to work again.

I hesitated outside the door for a moment.  I wanted to hear his
next thought before I surprised him with the truth.

"Ah, I get it.  Agent Scully is here to watch her partner's back,"
he said with a snarkiness that was not unusual for DefensiveMulder.

"I'm not here as Agent Scully," I said as I opened the door.  "I'm
not even here as Scully."

He glanced up at me and did a double take when he saw the towel
wrapped around me.

"I'm here tonight as Dana," I said as I pulled the towel from my
body and hung it up with his.  "I'm here to be with my friend, my
best friend."

I motioned for him to move forward and slid into the tub behind him.
I tried to pull him back to lay against me but he resisted, suddenly
going rigid.

"I don't need a pity fuck, Scully," he hissed as he leaned farther
forward.

I was surprised by his words as much as by the vehemence of his
tone.  "Do you think that's what this is, Mulder?"  I kept my words
soft and soothing, completely hiding the anger that flared again.

"Isn't it obvious?  Spooky Mulder takes a dive off the end of the
pier at low tide and who's there to save him but Saint Scully?"
He moved to get out of the tub, but I was ready for him.

I swept his feet out from under him and he fell back and completely
under the water.  He came up sputtering, "What the hell was that
all about?"

"You were acting like a child, I thought you might enjoy being
treated like one."  He obviously didn't get it so I said, "I
couldn't reach the soap to wash your mouth out, Mulder so I
flipped you under the water instead.  Now turn around, please.
Since you got your hair wet, I might as well wash it."  I reached
for the shampoo he kept on the back corner of the tub.

He glared at me for a few seconds then turned around, presenting his
back to me.  As I massaged his scalp, I could almost feel his brain
working.

"If you're here as my friend, why are you naked?"  His curiosity was
finally getting the better of him.

"I didn't feel like getting my clothes wet.  Isn't that a good
enough reason?"

He snorted and said, "No.  We've only shared one kiss, Scully.
That's not exactly a prelude to mutual nudity."

I chuckled at his words.  "Mulder, we've seen each other naked
before..."

"Yeah, but not willingly," he said and turned around to look me in
the eyes.  "What's going on, Scully?"

"All in good time.  Just rinse your hair and relax, Mulder.  I will
reveal all, shortly."

He stared at my face for a few seconds and then his eyes drifted
south.  "Looks like you've done that already."

I smiled at him and pointed at the faucet, "Rinse."

He did a credible job of rinsing the suds from his hair and then
gave me another questioning glance.

"Relax Mulder," I encouraged.  He leaned back and rested against me.
"That's better."  I poured some more of the body wash into my palm
and began to stroke him everywhere I could reach.  I started this to
cleanse him and wound up mesmerized by his body.  The muscles in his
arms were not overly bulky, but they were strong and covered by
silky skin.

His chest was well developed, better than I remembered it being
during our mad dash to New Mexico several years ago.  He had a light
sprinkling of hair on his chest, just the right amount in my
opinion.  He had obviously been working out.  His abs were tight and
well defined.  I recited the various muscle groups to myself to keep
me on track.

"This is nice, Scully, but what's going on?  Why are you here
tonight?"

He slid down in the tub a little, letting his knees stick up, so
that we could fit together more comfortably.  I rested my chin on
his shoulder and watched his hand reach out to grab a wash cloth.
I was once again mesmerized, this time by the sight of his hands
on his penis and scrotum as he washed.

After he gave himself a through scrubbing, I sighed and snuggled
into the juncture of his neck and shoulder with my cheek.  "When we
left work tonight, I knew you were upset," I whispered.  I pulled
him into a tight front-to-back embrace.  "I heard you arguing with
Agent Bailey in the hall.  What was his problem?"

"Forget it, Scully.  He is just ticked off because I trashed his
profile on the Saunders case."

"The Saunders case?  You didn't agree to help VCS again did you
Mulder?"  My voice is a bit more abrasive than I had intended.

"No.  I promised Skinner I would look over the profile and give him
my opinion, but I didn't offer and he didn't ask for my help.  I
read Bailey's profile and told him it was wrong.  Bailey didn't
appreciate Skinner's memo telling him to do it again... right this
time."

"Good," I sighed.

"So you knew I was upset from the tone of my voice?" Mulder probed.

"I knew you were upset from everything that has happened in the last
few months, Mulder.  The tone of your voice just let me know that
you had reached critical mass."

He chuckled, "That's a very science-geek way of putting it, Scully."
He settled back into my embrace and flipped the stopper lever to
drain some of the cooling water.  He turned on the hot and when it
was almost too hot again, he turned it off.

We floated in a daze of comfort for a few moments, just enjoying the
heat and the company.

"Why don't you want me to call you Fox?" I asked abruptly.

He stopped breathing.

"Was it because that's what Diana called you?" I pushed.

"Whoa, whoa, Scully!  Where is that coming from?"  He tried to turn
and look into my eyes, but I held tight to him and won't let him.

"I'm just curious.  You rarely call me Dana and you told me never
to call you Fox.  Why Mulder?  Why did you do that?"

He was silent for a long time before answering me.  "I really don't
like my name, Scully.  As much as I remember loving Samantha, she
was quite the tease and she was merciless with my name.  She loved
to get back at me for being the annoying older brother that I was by
having others tease me, too.  When she was taken... she... I
remember her screaming my name and begging for help."  His breathing
has become short and his pulse was thready again.  "I didn't save
her, Scully, and from then on, every time I hear someone use my
first name, it's like a dagger in my gut."

"Then why did you let Diana call you Fox?" I couldn't help asking.

"She didn't, at first.  Everyone at the FBI called me Mulder, even
back then.  But one day right after Diana and I became involved,
Phoebe dropped in."

"She does have a way of doing that, doesn't she?" I had to
interject.

"Yeah, well, needless to say, they hated each other on sight.
Phoebe called me Mulder so Diana insisted on calling me Fox.  Even
after Phoebe left the country, she refused to call me Mulder again."

"And Phoebe?  Why did she call you Fox when we worked with her?"

"I don't know.  I guess she did it to irritate you.  She knew how to get to 
almost everyone, you know."

"Why am I not surprised?" I smiled.

We were silent for a while when he said, "The first time you called
me Fox, I was short on sleep and didn't have the heart to fight my
attraction for you right then.  If you had insisted on using Fox, I
would have probably jumped you right there on Exeter Street."

"And this would have been a problem because...?" I teased.

"Get real, Scully.  At that point, you would have slapped me with a
sexual harassment suit the next day."

"Don't be so sure, Fox," I whispered into his ear, before kissing
it.

"Scully, are you going to tell me what this is all about?" he
groaned.

"In a moment.  Right now we need to get out of this water.  As good
as it feels, we're both turning into prunes."  I easily pushed his
relaxed body forward enough to allow me to get out of the tub.

"Come on, partner, all will be revealed," I said as I held up his
towel.  Watching Mulder rise from the water was like something out
of a soft-core porn movie.  He was beautiful.  His eyes were a
smoky green as he watched me intently.  His beard stubble made him
look slightly dangerous and sexy.  His body was wet and a gleaming
golden brown all over.  When had he been sunbathing in the nude?
His muscles flexed as he stood and I felt new moisture flood my sex.

I toweled off quickly so that I could help him finish.  I led him
into his bedroom, naked.  The bath had obviously revived him, his
cock was at half-mast.  I once again motioned for him to sit on the
edge of the bed.

I snagged the lotion I set out and started to smooth it over the
skin on his shoulders as I stood between his legs.  His cock was now
fully engorged, tight against his stomach.

He grabbed my wrists and said in a no-nonsense tone of voice,
"What's going on here, Scully?"

"I told you before, 'I want to take care of you, Mulder.  Can you
let me help?  Will you accept what I'm offering?'"

"And exactly what are you offering?" his voice was just a shade over
a growl.

I took a deep breath and gathered my courage.  This was why I was
here.  "Me.  Everything.  All that I am, all that I feel.  All my
love," I answered him truthfully.

He gaped at me for a moment and then asked, "Why now?  Why not two
months ago or two years ago or six months from now?"

It was a fair question.  One I asked myself all the way over here.
'Why now?'  I give him the only reasons that made sense to me.

"Because I love you, Mulder, and I can't stand to see you go through
this pain alone.  I cannot bear the thought of withholding my love
and support to you in any manner, ever again.  I am tired of hiding
my love for you.  I'm tired of caring what other people think, or
worrying that someone may punish us for finding a little bit of
happiness in this world.  You told me before that you love me.  If
you want me, I'm yours.  If you don't..."

"No!"  The room reverberated with his denial.  "I'll never not want
you, Scully.  I love you."  He wrapped his arms around me, resting
his head between my breasts.  I felt his hands begin to caress my
back and buttocks.

As good as it felt, I had another agenda in mind for tonight.

I moved back from the edge of the bed and Mulder's embrace.  He
opened his mouth to complain about the lack of contact, but I
stilled his words with my fingertips on his lips.

"No questions, Mulder.  From here on, all I want to hear from you
are answers."  I smiled as a look of astonishment covered his face.

"Lay back, Mulder."  I motioned for him to lie down on the bed,
towards the middle.  My eyes slowly swept up and down his body.  I
couldn't help dwelling on his aroused cock.

"Mmmmm... I've dreamed of this for so long.  Do you dream of me?" I
asked as I crawled onto the bed next to him.

"Yesssss," he hissed as my mouth closed over his nipple.

I laved his small brown nipple with my tongue, bringing my lips and
teeth into action.  "Do you like that?"

He nodded then grunted in the affirmative.  I pulled back and glared
at him.  "I can't hear you when you nod, Mulder.  I want to hear you
articulate your feelings.  I want you to very clearly answer every
question I pose to you.  If you do not, I'll leave.  Do you
understand?"

The look of delight that swept over his face was unmistakable.  I am
not a verbal person.  Mulder is.  I love to hear him speak.  The
sound of his voice, even reciting dry case history data, has always
been able to arouse me sexually.  On occasion, it has made me so
aroused I have had to leave our office.  I have spent countless
hours walking the halls of Hoover trying to convince myself that I
do not need to masturbate in the rest room to relieve the tension
created by the sound of his sexy growl.

I pulled back farther, as if I were planning to leave the bed. "I
still can't hear you."

"Yes!  Yes, Scully.  I understand.  You're going to ask and I'm
going to tell you how it feels."  He was practically babbling.

"Very good, Mulder," I said.  His name was more of a caress than a
form of address.  In any other couple you could have replaced it
with honey or lover or sweetheart.  But he is my Mulder.  And after
tonight, he will be mine forever.

I began to kiss his chest again.  "Tell me how this feels."

He groaned and licked his lips.  "Oh God, Scully!  I've wanted you
to touch me like this so many times, in my dreams and my fantasies.
Now that you are it's almost too overwhelming to describe."

My mouth covered his nipple again and my fingers curled through his
chest hair to find the other one.  I sucked hard and let go of the
flat brown nub with an audible 'pop'.  "Try."

That one word released a torrent of words from Mulder.

As I kissed and sucked his nipples, he told me how it made him feel.

"My nipples and chest have always been very sensitive.  They're
almost as sensitive as my neck.  I love to have them kissed and
caressed..."

"Do you like it soft like this?"  I nibbled and kissed him gently.
"Or a little rougher, like this?"  I put my mouth on his nipple and
sucked hard, bringing it up between my teeth.  I gently bit down and
brought my tongue into play by flicking his lengthen nipple.  His
gasps of pleasure increased as I got just a little rougher.

"I like it all, Scully.  Just don't stop," he moaned.

I smiled as I continued to kiss and lick and play with his chest.  I
love that part of a man.  So like a woman but so different.
Mulder's hips were beginning to rise and fall as if he had found a
way to create the friction that he needed to come just from the
pressure of my mouth on his nipples.

"Ah, ah, ahhh!  None of that, my love," I teased as I subdued his
hips with my hand.

He sucked in a deep, shuddering breath.  "Your love?"

"Yes, Mulder.  My love.  My beautiful love."  I moved my body up
farther on the bed and lay on top of him, trailing my kisses from
his chest up the planes of his body to his neck.  His beard was
rough on his neck and cheeks.  My tongue and lips tingled from the
friction it created.

I could feel the length of his arousal between us.  "Tell me about
your fantasies," I commanded as I began to kiss his neck again.  I
buried my nose in the exact spot on his neck that it joins his
shoulder.  The musky scent of an aroused Mulder was mixed with the
smell of the body wash from our bath.  It smelled like Mulder and me
mixed together and was a heady, intoxicating smell.  'What will we
smell like after we have sex?' I thought to myself.

It was all I could do not to impale myself on his cock immediately.

Mulder began to speak again, telling me all of his most secret
fantasies.  He wrapped his arms around me and began to stroke me
lightly with his fingers.  I knew that it would all be over too
quickly if I didn't slow down my body's response to his touch and
his words.

"Mulder, I want you to do something for me," I asked, pulling away
as I spoke.

"Yes, Scully.  I will do anything but stop," he says imploringly.

I chuckled and he eventually joined me.  "I don't want to stop, I
just want to slow down a little."

His doubtful look caused me to laugh again.  Damn, I feel happy.

"I want you to turn over and hold on to the bars in the bed, Mulder.
I need to slow this down and if you touch me, it will be over too
quickly.  I've dreamed about this forever and I want it to last a
long time.  Can you do that for me, Mulder?"  I finished my speech
with a kiss on his lips.

He nodded and I slid off his body.  As he turned over, I glanced
down at his erection.  God, his cock was huge!  I thought it was
fully erect when he first laid back, but it obviously wasn't.

"Don't stop talking, Mulder," I said as I slid a pillow under his
stomach to allow room for his erection, and one under his chest and
head.

"What do you want to hear, Scully?" he asked.

"Tell me about your dreams, your favorite dreams of us together," I
answered as I slid my leg over his back and sat down on his tush.  I
grabbed the lotion from the bed stand and, after warming it between
my hands, began to massage his back and shoulders.

Everything disappeared except for Mulder and me.  My entire universe
was lying under me.  The skin of my thighs and hands tingled where
we touched.  His voice hypnotized me.  His words of love and want
and sex were not important.  His voice was my only anchor to reality
as it flung me into a universe of lust and need.

I kissed, stroked, sucked and bit every inch of his exposed back
from head to toes.  His wonderful voice encouraged me to follow my
every fantasy and I was drunk on the lust that was raging through my
body.  My lips tingled and I burned to kiss him again.

I slid off him.  "Roll over, Mulder," I commanded.

He quickly obeyed and I was paralyzed.  He was lying there before me
like a majestic banquet.  Did I want to kiss him or suck his dick
first?  Romance or passion?  Love or lust?

I gave him one deep, tongue-down-the throat kiss and decided to go
with the lust first.  I wanted this to be all about him.  I wanted
his pleasure to be first and most important.  I knew Mulder well
enough to believe that he would make sure I was satisfied before the
night was over.  And if I drained him dry and he fell asleep right
away, well, that's what tomorrow was for, wasn't it?

"Scoot up, Mulder.  I want to know that you can see everything I'm
doing to you.  I want you to continue to talk to me.  I want to know
your every thought."  He smiled at me.

"Do you want a drink of water before we continue, Mulder?" I offered
as I reached for the bottle.

He nodded and I opened the lid, bringing the bottle to first my lips
and then to his.  He put his hand over mine and lifted his chin as
he drank deeply.  I was undone by the movement of the muscles in his
throat.  I leaned forward and nipped the side of his neck.  He
jumped and the water dribbled down his chin onto his chest.

I licked away every drop that rolled down his golden skin, and he
shivered in anticipation.

A few drops got down as far as his navel and I followed them.  His
hips thrust up, his cock seeking my attention.  His groan of need
pleased me.

I looked directly into his eyes for as long as I could maintain
contact as I brought my lips down to enclose the head of his cock.
He sucked in his breath and held it.  My lips slid down him, my
tongue was busy stroking as much of him as I could touch.  His eyes
rolled back into his head.  I pulled away.

"No.  Don't close your eyes," I whispered.  "I want you to watch.  I
want to know that you are watching my mouth on you.  My lips and my
tongue and my love are pleasuring you.  Tell me, Mulder.  Tell me
what you are feeling."

His eyes met mine again and they were a deep green that I had never
seen before.  He began to speak.  Once again, I was transported to
that place where the universe narrowed down to just Mulder and me.

"Love your mouth, Scully.  Sometimes in the office I watch you eat
or nibble on your pencil and I get hard instantly.  My mouth begins
to water.  I want to nibble your lips and suck on... on them," he
groaned.  "I want to lock the door and kiss you senseless.  I want
to fuck you until you... until you and I are both so tired that we
pass out.  I want to undress you, little by little.  I want to
unhook your bra and cup your breasts in my hands.... Unnnghhh," he
moaned this time.  "I want to make love to you, with you, forever."

As he talked I have been sucking and licking and teasing his cock.
I moved my hands down to massage his balls as I took him down my
throat as far as possible.  I could not deep-throat him.  He was
just too long and too wide for more than a few inches to fit in my
mouth.  I made up the difference with my hands.  One was wrapped
around his cock and the other was still busy with his balls.  I
could tell he is trying to hold back, to keep from coming and I
will have none of that.

I opened my mouth enough to allow some of my saliva to drip down on
my cupped fingers.  I slowly moved to massage the area behind his
balls.

His voice was a siren's call to me.  I was in a haze of sexual
arousal and I wanted to bring him to the edge with me.  All I needed
to come would be one swipe of my fingers as he shot his cum into my
mouth.  I could hear him talking and words like 'love' and
'beautiful' and 'mine' sank in and warmed my heart.

I finally had enough moisture on my fingers and I slid them behind
his balls.  Slipping my middle finger into his anus, I applied
pressure to his prostate.  He screamed my name as he came and came
and came.  I had to work fast to swallow it all as it shot into my
mouth.  I didn't want to lose a precious drop.  "Mmmm, Mulder, I
love the way you taste."  I slowly drew my finger from his anus,
gently rimming it around the outside edge as I left.  I continued to
kiss his cock and balls.  I was amazed that he was still almost as
erect as when we began and it excited me even more.  I continued to
stoke him slowly with my hand as I alternated soft bites and sucks
on the head and the underside.  Suddenly I felt him tense again.

"Ah, God Scully," he screamed as a fresh wave of cum shot all over
my face and hand.  He was amazing.  He was still semi-erect.

I couldn't resist.  I climbed on him and impaled myself on his cock.
He was not as engorged as he was earlier, and I was grateful.  It
had been a long time since I had sex and I know I've never had sex
with someone as well endowed as Mulder.

With just a few strokes, I was coming.  I could feel the tingling
that started in my toes move up the front of my legs.  The weak,
hot trembling in my fingers moved down my arms and both feelings
converged at the center of my sex.  I was gone.  I convulsed around
his cock as he stroked up into me.  I was so glad that he was not at
his full strength.  I would have needed stitches if I had tried that
maneuver when he was fully engorged.  I trembled for an eternity and
finally found myself slowly sinking back to reality.

I was lying on top of Mulder.  He had his arms and legs wrapped
around me.

I was crying, relief and happiness drove my tears.

I could feel him shaking.  I knew he was crying too.  Once again it
was the silent, wrenching sobs he tried to hide.

"Oh, Mulder."  I was feeling very guilty right now.  What if this
wasn't what he needed?  What if I've managed to hurt him even more?
"Baby?  Please don't hold back.  If you want to cry go ahead.  I'm
sorry if you weren't ready for this yet.  I know sex doesn't make
the pain go away...  Go ahead and cry.  Let it out.  Scream and
curse and yell if you have to.  Just don't hold it in anymore."

"You don't understand, Scully.  I'm not crying because of my pain
over my mother's death or Samantha's loss.  I'm crying because for
the first time in my life, I know what 'making love' really means."
His silent tears turned into gusting sobs of joy.  He cried until he
began to laugh hysterically.

His hysteria was not long-lived, fortunately, and it gave way to
great healing sobs.  Eventually he was calm  and we took a quick
shower before we fell asleep tightly clasped in each others embrace.

XXXXXX

The sun was up when I woke.  I knew he was awake and watching me.
I was somewhat fearful about what I would see in his eyes.  Would he
be sorry this happened?  Would he resent my intrusion on his
privacy?  Would he regret the change in our professional
relationship?

The same spate of bravery that drove me to his apartment last night
forced me to open my eyes.  I was right.  He is staring at me with a
strange expression on his face.

"Morning Sunshine," he said in his honey growl.  "I thought you were
going to sleep all day."

"Were you waiting for me long?" I asked.  My voice is husky with
emotions and the early hour.

"Forever."  His eyes turned that marvelous green again.  There were
so many emotions shining there that I had to look away.

I drew my courage around me like a suit of armor and once again
looked into his eyes.  He smiled at last and said, "I wanted to give
you this."

He leaned down, slowly, giving me time to move away if I chose.  His
lips were warm and soft.  His kiss was a revelation, a declaration
and an invitation.

The kiss gently revealed how proud he was of me for finding the
courage to declare my love for him.  I knew immediately that he was
not upset by my intrusion of his privacy last night.

It firmly declared his desire to continue this aspect of our
relationship.  We could work out the minor details such as public
or private commitment later.

It was an invitation to share the rest of our lives together.  In
this one kiss he had given me everything that he had to give.  Love,
commitment, desire.  It was all mine and I wanted to let him know
that I was never going to withhold my love from him again.

I pushed him over and climbed on top of him.  Our kiss went from
gentle to wild in the blink of an eye.  We separated when oxygen
became necessary.

"Whoa, Scully.  That was some kiss," he teased me.  His hands were
stroking through my hair and it was making me wet.

"I've wanted to kiss you like that for years," I said.  "I'm trying
to make up for lost time.  Especially after that performance last
night."

Mulder blushed.  He actually blushed!  "Scully... don't expect that
kind of reaction every time.  It's been a long time since...  I'm
not seventeen any more," he stammered.

"Mulder, I wouldn't have finished high school, let alone college and
medical school, if I'd met you when you were seventeen."

His quizzical expression made me laugh.  "I would have been pregnant
the first month we dated and I probably would have about a dozen
children by now."

His expression sobered and he asked, "Would that have been so
horrible, Scully?"

I know he is thinking of Emily and my inability to have children.
That wasn't my point at all.  "I didn't say it would have been bad,
Mulder.  But with our luck you'd still be out here chasing Monsters
for the FBI and some tall brunette would be assigned as your
partner."

"Some guy named Mike or Bill or Alex, I'll bet," he snorted.

"Nah.  Probably some bimbo that would try to take my man and then
our children would wind up with a mom in jail for assault and an FBI
dad with out a partner to watch his back."

He laughed and hugged me tighter.  "That bad, huh?"

"I like the way things turned out, myself," I assured him.

"So do I."  He kissed me again and then pulled away.  Something was
obviously on his mind.

"What was last night really about, Scully?  Why now?"

I knew this question was coming and I didn't have an answer ready.
I thought for a moment and then said the only thing that made sense
to me.

"I thought it was time for me to be more than a work partner to you,
more than a best-friend.  I am both of those things to you and I
know you need me in those ways, but..."

"Yes?"

It was hard for me to verbalize my feelings so plainly and I
reverted to Mulder's favorite weapon, humor.  "I felt it was time to
lay some Scully Love on you," I said teasingly and snuggled my body
against his.  His erection was back and so was his good mood.

"We can discuss this another time.  Right now, I want to make love
not conversation," I decreed as I kiss his neck.

"Scully, Love!  Ohhhh, Baby!  You know what I like."


Author's notes:

Free!  Free at last!  Free from a long dry spell!  I'm back and I'm bad!  
Keep looking for my next story.  The Urge to Merge.  It's all done and on to 
beta even as you read!

FatCat