Iridescence
By Bexbel.
Bexbel@aol.com 
Disclaimer : Not mine don't sue..please.
Archive: yes please. As long as my name stays attached.
Spoilers: Some, US readers will be fine. UK maybe not.
Rating: R - NC17.
Feedback: Yes please. No flame's from hell thank you.
E mail: Bexbel@aol.com
Authors notes: Enjoy.

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Nothing in this world is single. All things by a law divine in one an
other's being, mingle. Like a black velvet backdrop, to shimmering silver speckled,
night. Like a parched sun to a fertile earth. Like a indigo ocean to a
brilliant shell scattered beach. As a North, there is a South, to East there is a
west.

Always different, always linked. Married together, bonded by there needs
for the other.

If there was no night, where would we see those stars? If there was no sun,
how could the earth blossom. If there were no beach, how could the ocean caress
it? If no North, then where would we stand?

Destiny is the soul of life. We muse and mull over our fate, the cards we
have been dealt. We read the horoscope's churned from charlatan's pens. We don't
walk under ladders, we don't step on the cracks. And yet we whisper, when we
have fortune or doom, why me? Why not me? Lucky or not.

I believe in two things. One, that our fate, our destiny's are all ready
written. The people we meet on life's path, were put in our step. Whether
we walk with them or pass them by, is our choice. We are given the decision to
make for ourselves. Sometimes we make the right choices, sometimes not.

Some choices make life harder than it needs to be. Other's give us joy, fun
and love. Whether we fight or succumb, whether we sleep or wake, whether we
love or hate, all become the pattern, the matrix for our lives.

Some choices we make, we can alter. Some we cannot. This is what makes
decisions tough.

The second thing I believe in. Is myself.

You have to believe in yourself to accomplish anything. Hard work and
determination see you though. But if you have no faith or belief in
yourself, you will not achieve your goals.

I lost faith with myself, and was given it back. I hated and I was shown
how to love. I was hurt and I was healed. I was blinded by the severity of my
beliefs, and my eyes were opened by truth. I was not waving at the world, I was
drowning. And my saviour read me well. Stepped in, and rescued me.

I have known this for sometime, but pride and abyssal ego prevented me from
slipping calmly into my destiny.

My destiny, I have come to see, like a man sees when the cataract has been
removed, is with her.

Rules, regulations, people, consequences, have kept me melancholy, ignorant
even. Oblivious to her fearful symmetry. Her elegance of faith. Her
sophistication of trust.

Her grace.

My choice now. Is to either except or deny myself. It's a terrifying
choice.

I have denied myself and her, for what seems like an eternity. But still,
like the ocean and shore, the sun and earth. We always return together. Ebbing
like the ocean, back to the solid earth we need to stand on.

If it is written somewhere, that we should be linked, why have I fought so
hard to be untied? What has transpired between us, in the end, has made my
decision simple.

Love and be loved. Trust and be trusted. Give freely and receive
gratefully.

This decision will be my heaven or my hell. My nemesis or my triumph.

Either way, I'm pulled to her. Sucked into her radiant and tranquil soul.

I need. I want. I desire.

Who am I to challenge the hand of God.

****************************************************************

When I reached her apartment, and drew out the key from the ignition, I sat
a while. Just staring at the steps that lead to her door. Were they the
mountain I had to climb, or just steps which took me closer to my destiny?

I didn't care really. As of that moment I realised they were `just' steps.
Four cement steps. Nothing more, nothing less.

I stepped out the car and walked up them. My heart felt timid and
unsettled, but I knew when I saw her, unexpected as I would be, she would let me in.
Welcome me with a smile. This made my body calm as I tapped on the door.

I've been trying to remember my exact thoughts as I knocked at the pine.
The veins of the wood reminded me of my veins, carrying my hot life blood
through them, the knots in the door, of the knots in my stomach. The wood, veiled
with varnish. My face opaque with my intentions. She would know why I was here.
Like the door, it was plain. Obvious.

The door opened, and there she was. Her hair glowing copper, as a autumn
maple. Her eyes flashed concern, but iridescent with violet blue pallet. Shining
at mine, like diamond glints on snow. The simple jumper which covered her
torso, emerald. The jeans pale and worn. Her tiny feet, bare, making no sound as
she moved away from the door to allow me entry.

She did know why I'd come. She knew me better than I have known myself for
a long time.

She stood quiet, leaning on the closed pine door, both hands behind her on
the handle. Her eyes downcast. Waiting.

God she has waited so long.... So long.

We just stood for a moment. There was no sound of voices or music, just a
clock, ticking away the seconds I've been wasting.

I'm filled suddenly with guilt. Not of what I'm about to do. God no. But of
that time I have wasted, it was so futile now I hear it.

All I can say is,

`Sorry...I'm so sorry..' my voice was childlike and weak, I cringed at my
tone. Where has my valour gone? My bravery?

My hands by my side, idle and limp. I felt bereft of anymore words. What
could I say to make this understandable. Why now after all this time, do I now
stand before her? My emotions strewn out across my face, like entrails of a
animal on the road.

As timid as I, she closed the yard between us and took my hands. Only then,
with her pure touch, did I raise my eyes to see `her' choice. Up until now, I
was not completely sure she had made the same decisions as I.

The strength of her gaze unsettled me, and I closed my eyes once again. Her
hands gently caressed mine, to encourage me to open them.

I did. And I saw.

We were, the sun and the earth. The night and stars, the sea and shore.

She my North, me her South, we were all in-between.

Two pilgrim souls, touching for the first time.

We had kissed before, a friendly pleasantry. But now our desire was for
love. For confirmation of the truth we both knew existed between us.

I pulled her closer to me, as gently as I could, she came without
reservation. With total honesty which made me tremble. Not from fear but from
gratefulness.

Our heat rose between us, as did our passion. Both of us knowing this was a
sacred, blest rendezvous. We remained still, our hands joined, caressing,
stroking, toying with the digits. Textures felt but never memorised until
now.

We allowed ourselves time to accustom to these new sensations, which were
affecting us. Soft and palpable skin. Warm and delicate. Calm and serene.

Her scent rose from her hair, as she nuzzled my jaw and neck, breathing me
in, taking me down inside as far as I could reach. Into her lungs, heart and
soul. I could do nothing but do the same. Intoxicating us both. We had known each
others unique aroma for years. But this was the first time we allowed it to
bewitch us.

My angel, hummed as she cradled her head in my shoulder. I remember still
looking at the door. And remembered the time. Eon's passing too quickly for
my soul. Our time was now.

My hand left her's and travelled briskly to her chin, so soft, as I turned
her face to me. Her cheeks flushed with heat, scent and proximity. A torrent of
lust spurred me, then without grace, or urbanity, I claimed her as mine, and she
me.

The deluge of sensation and strength gripped us, as our mouths slid across
hot, sweet lips, tongues rasping, joining, tasting, dancing a erotic waltz
within each other. Causing my body to respond with lightning speed, to this
exquisite human. I moaned hard and long. As my organ sprang to life inside my jeans.

Our kiss became fevered and consumed, neither wanting to break that
connection, we moved blindly to her bedroom.

We stopped in a kind of stupor for breath in her hall, before we continued
our journey to that bed. To consummate this huge decision.

Again she forced me back, until finally we stumbled onto the bed, moving
towards the pillows. We spent some time just holding and touching the skin only
just exposed, before she said the first thing to me since this journey had
started.

We were both much calmer now, clear that this was going to happen, at last,
and neither needed to rush. We needed grounding. We needed composed minds, and
bodies.

`When did you decide?' she asked me, quietly as she pulled off my t shirt
and folded it placing it beside her. She sat up to do her task. I sat up to
help the process, my hands just would not leave her. As if a invisible cord ran
through them to her skin. She seemed to realise I was incapable of initiating the
removal of clothes. She was right. I was in owe of her confidence.

`To...day..' I whispered as she took off her emerald jumper and put it to
the side.

I moaned gratefully as her naked torso came into my eye line. I couldn't
wait I had to touch her. I leant quickly forward and took both of her small,
perfect breasts into my hands and teased her nipples to peaks with my thumbs.
Lusciously her head rolled back on her shoulders and her eyes closed. A rumble of
pleasure shot through her and she moaned.

`Ooooh..' given so quietly and gracefully it made my gut flutter, I needed
to make her make that glorious sound again, and again. I needed to know I
could.

I continued with my hands to pleasure her, the skin so supple and
responsive to my barest touch.

`Beautiful..' I whispered, leaning further towards her, she rewarded me
with the faintest of smiles. One as you'd see on that painting in the Louve. For
some reason I forgot it's name, with the sight of this creature before me.
Everything else I had witness, paled in comparison to my angel.

Her head slowly fell forward as did her hands to my jeans, releasing the
button, she unzipped and pulled them down as best she could. Kissing my stomach as
I wiggled unsuccessfully to remove them completely.

`Mulder..you'll have to stop touching me, or I'll never get them off..'
almost chuckling at me. I was like a man in the desert, seeing water for the first
time in days. I had to have my fill before I could comply.

I wriggled closer to her and took one long lick around the taught nipple,
resulting in my body groaning to her taste, and she gasping at my action.

`I can't..' two syllables was all I could manage as I took more, suckling
and kneading her. Her hands gripped tenderly around my head as she gave me what
I needed.

`Oh my angel..angel..' I repeated as I swooped slowly from one side to the
other, her skin hot and `so' smooth under my hands.

Her hands drifted along my back and around to her own jeans as she undid
them, moving away from me she stood and with her eyes fixed on mine she removed
them, taking her pants down at the same time.

Time seemed to stand still as she waited for me to do or say something. My
breath had become short, my body so tight and earnest. I was on fire. I
needed to be naked. Seeing her like that made me weak, yet strong at the same
instant.

I reached adolescently for my jeans and boxers and fumbled badly with them.

Finally getting them off with a flick of my foot.

Now it was her turn, to be speechless. But not her. She always manages to
find the words.

`Oh Mulder..now who's beautiful..' then like a cat she knelt slowly onto
the bed, on hands and knees, like a large feline predator, stalking it's prey.
She ran her tiny hands along my legs, up to my thighs and gently on to my
organ, using both to give me a intimate caress.

I bit my lip, as she stroked firmly along the shaft, finding a sensitive
spot on my scrotum. Gently massaging it, causing me to arch my hips forward, my
pleasure unfathomable. My heart rate dangerously high. My pulse in my neck thumping
the blood around my head.

`Oh God..' I prayed, I held back a scream of unbridled bliss, groaning
constantly instead.

When I closed my eyes to feel this pleasure more intensely, she slid her
loving mouth over the same organ in her hands. My body jumped viciously. Radiantly
delirious pleasure racked my whole being. She swirled and rubbed, suckled
and fingered. Until I could hold back no longer. My hands pushed her off me.

`I need you..' I grunted as she raised her head to see me flushed and
stunned. So utterly in her spell. She just nodded and pushed me back to the bed as
she negotiated my legs and settle herself at my organ.

My shaft still glistening from her mouth, red and engorged, it pulsed and
gently patted my stomach with the pressure she had built up inside me.

She leant forward to capture my mouth in a sensuous kiss, slow, wet and
deep. Flicking at my teeth and tongue, I let her do what she will. My hand on her
buttocks, stroking slow circles around her small. The other I reached
between us and touched her soaked apex tenderly. With two of my digits, I slipped
easily inside of her depths, she stopped kissing me, heald what breath she had in
her lungs, turned her head from me, eyes closed and smiled. Shifting her hips
to have deeper penetration. Like a vice she squeezed her inner walls to
embellish her pleasure and to prepare me for what was to come. What it was going to
feel like inside her.

My thumb moved up and around to her tiny, swollen nub. Minute, delicate
movement, swirling her moisture onto it. She rocked my fingers with her
hips, as I performed this minuscule dance on her wet, burning satin. Her body
performing a blithe gesture for me.

She wetted her lips and dropped her head, watching me watch her. She
captured my organ and stroked once, twice, hard, and I moved my hand away from her. 
We were both ready. We didn't need words. We knew.

She swirled some moisture from herself onto my penis and rolled it down and
around, then I pushed up as she settled down.

I can't describe the sensation fully, or as eloquently as I would have
liked but, the heat and slickness, the tight slide of flesh against flesh, made
me close my eyes, with it's power. The cascade of emotions hit us both and we
collapsed to each other. Onto each other. She lifted off completely and did
the whole manoeuvre again, and again, and again.

We gasped as specks of light and dark flashed through our retinas. Mouths
open and closed in a reflex action to breath. Hands stroking unaware of what
they were doing.

Moans of pleasure and ecstasy rippled continuously. As our cries and
passion climbed so did our urgency to complete this joining of bodies. Little did
we know then, that this act would be the cementing of minds, as well as our
souls.

Teetering on the edge of an escarpment, that we both needed to hurl
ourselves off, we clasped hands and quickened our movements, not consciously, but
subconsciously. Both, knowing what the other needed and giving it.

My body pumping long deep stroked into her depths, she groaned hoarsely but
gracefully into my chest. I felt her inner muscles constrict once hard, a
warm gush left her and me, she sat up on me, impaled by me, taking me deeper and
harder than I have ever felt. As if she was trying to merge us, as one
entity.

Our cries mingled not as two people, but as one. Elated and hallowed we
swam in the light, flew off the edge and floated for some seconds, albeit too few.
We came to the ground floating, as if a kite, which has lost the wind and
drifts slowly to the grass.

Crumbling to my chest, I encased her in my arms. Mumbling words of love,
promises and wishes. She turned to me, her eyes stained with tears, she
wiped mine dry. As we regarded one another. Our bodies still humming, amps of
electricity still surged and filtered through us. Nerve endings still
tingled and relayed there messages.

Mute and tranquil we stayed. Basking as lizards do in the glow of the
morning sunrise. Lazy and sated.

When the air in our lungs entered freely and without urgency, she rolled to
the side of me, her arms trailed over her brow. My body turned with her's so I
could watch and touch her, with my eyes and hands.

I took that time to familiarise myself with her body properly. She had not
given me the chance to fully, as I had wished before. So I began slowly.

Tenderly, barely any pressure, my hand explored her curves and crevices.
The silken skin under her arms, to her fingers and over her neck. Her face,
cheeks and nose. I kissed every patch of skin she offered me now, freely. I
memorised her body, her breasts, her stomach, her hips, and legs, all of this
balanced, evocative being, it was my privilege to be nestled against.

I tasted her perspiration, her essence, I could smell our love making as I
drew closer to her pretty nest of copper curls. I had to taste us, as she had
tasted me. It drew me closer. Hauled me forward, like metal to a magnet.

She realised my intent and gave me that patented smile, meaning, I must be
crazy. I grinned casually back as she tried to stop me

`Mulder..I'm..' she whispered, flushing, with embarrassment.

`I need to..' I reassured her.

She understood.

Gently, watching her face relax, I opened her legs wide and breathed us in
from that honey soaked centre.

Burying my mouth inside that place, which had given me the ultimate
pleasure, I took one long, slow lick, and savoured, us.

How can you taste love, how can you taste and store that connection? This
was how.

She whimpered my name and arched deliciously, as I repeated my actions.
Running her hands through my hair, squeezing my hands, as licking turned to
suckling tenderly on her clitoris. Still enlarged and eager for more.

`Sweet Jesus..' she sobbed as I began, seeing her reaching her peak, my ego
demanded her pleasure, I could watch her from my position, see what I do to
her. Her inner lips caressing mine, as she rippled gently to my face, like waves
to a shore.

Her languor, stunning, her whole body worked towards the achievement we
both wanted to obtain. Truly besotted with her and enamoured with her being, I
watched and learnt, from her sighs and movements what she enjoyed. Her
pleasure mine. Her rapture my aim.

Being meticulous and fastidious with my technique, she came with earth
shattering speed and precision. I almost lost sight of her dilated eyes as
she arched high and hard as the quake rocked, and trembled through her. I have
never seen anything more wondrous or divine, as my Dana came for me.

I stayed with her through her climax and beyond, until every ripple and jar
had subsided her small frame. Only then did I slide to her face. She took a few
moments to get her bearing's, my ego puffed up and my smile luminous.

`Kiss me..' she whispered almost inaudibly, and I complied. We finally
tasted each other, not as individuals but as one.

A concoction unique and enchanting to us both.

When we broke and settled to sleep, we didn't need words of love, or scales
of prowess. We both knew it was our destiny to be together, not just
professionally, but personally as well.

We all still have our demons, our miseries and doubts. we all have our
paths to choose. We make errors of judgement and reason. But that night, two people
who chose to change their destiny, will not go back.

They will not retreat, but go forward, together to walk life's paths, side
by side, hand in hand, soul to soul.


End.



The star's are not wanted now,
put out every one,
Pick up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing can come to any good.

Lament for love lost.

Melancholy thoughts for those that have lost, or travelled the paths which
lead
away from destiny. Take heart. If fate is written, you shall meet again, in
this
life, or in the next.

Bexbel.