Partners, Friends and Lovers - Headers Author: wildafox0619 (wildafox0619@yahoo.fr) Started: 02/07/03 - Finished: 10/29/03 Rating: PG to NC-17 - Each part will be clearly marked. Category: MSR - Angst - AU Spoilers: Season 2 to Season 5 to stay safe. Each part will have its spoilers clearly marked. Disclaimer: Not mine; XF characters belong to 1013 Productions. Archives: drop me a line so I know where it goes and I can visit. I'll send it to Gossamer and Atxc myself. Summary : An alternative journey following Mulder and Scully from the beginning of Season 2 to Season 5. An exploration of their changing relationship through the years and the ordeals they had to face. Feedback: Yes, please! Visit my website: http://perso.wanadoo.fr/wildafox0619/ Author's notes and acknowledgements: Timeline:, Whilst I'm following my own timeline in this story, I'm also trying to be faithful to the show. I may deviate from the official timeline by a few days to a few weeks because it works better for the story. Episodes: What we saw in the episodes happens in this universe until we reach Memento Mori. Then I go my own way, letting some of the plots in the show happen, some not. You'll see. You won't be disappointed. Thanks: Thanks to my beta dream team, Tali and xdks, for all the time spent on my work, checking and correcting grammar and spelling. And rechecking and giving advice! I'd be nowhere near ready to write this kind of story without you girls! Thanks to Tarras for the dustjacket. I'm not good with the pic manipulations so I asked someone who does that with a real talent. Thanks honey for helping me out. Thanks to CindyET : you gave me the strength to write and to post. You have been supportive of me, especially when I doubted myself and wanted to call it quits. It went straight to my heart. How could I not thank the Mastobunch? You are my support team. You were there to kick my a** when necessary. You were there to poke me and ask "So, when will you start posting?". This story is dedicated to you. My last thanks go to my husband who had to endure my writer's block, as well as me getting out of bed at ungodly hours to write down a scene. Thanks, my love, for your patience because this baby took all of my free time and you never complained. Thanks for your support. Finally, a big sloppy kiss to my two beautiful kids. This is not a WIP. This story is finished and beta-ed. I'm posting a part per day. Chapter 1 Outside Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - July 8, 1994 Mulder got out of his wiretap assignment at 2 am. He felt weary. He had tried to reassure Scully that he still had his work and her, but deep down he knew better. The X-Files were lost to him, he was sure of it. This also meant that he would never be partnered with Scully again. For the first time, he had found someone who respected his beliefs even if she didn't share them. Aided by her Science, she helped him separate the truth from the lies and he would be eternally grateful for that. She was also his friend, trustworthy and faithful, though deep down he knew that there was more to their relationship than mere friendship. He was beginning to fall in love with her but he couldn't commit to a romantic relationship with Scully. It would be betraying his quest to find out the truth about his sister's disappearance. Tonight, his heart was waging a war with his mind, and he found himself standing at Scully's apartment door, as if it was natural to be there at that ungodly hour. He berated himself for being so needy tonight, but he just wanted to see her. He wanted to feel alive and she was the only person who could make him feel just that. He tried to convince himself it was a work-related visit. He would tell her that the DAT tape was blank and then leave. Mind made up, he knocked and waited for her to open the door. Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - July 8, 1994 Dana Scully couldn't sleep. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Mulder and his obsessive behaviour. He was determined to find something on the tape and she was glad to see that he was slowly coming back to his old self. He needed his quest to survive and, even if that consumed him, it kept him alive. She was in love with him and could finally admit it to herself. After all, he was a handsome, sexy guy and she wasn't blind. For Scully, his mind was almost as intoxicating as his body and she had never before known someone who was able to arouse her not only physically, but mentally as well. Only Mulder. A romance with him was out of the question though. She couldn't start something with a man so infatuated with his work and his quest. A romantic relationship with him was doomed to fail, but she was willing to accept anything he was able to give her. She was roused from her reverie by a knock at her door. She knew, without checking the peephole, who it was. She opened the door, coming eye to eye with Mulder who was doing his best to put on his "lost puppy dog" look. The one she couldn't resist. She opened her arms and he came to her. He used his foot to close the open door as he found respite in her arms. She smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. She was a beautiful woman, even if she wasn't the type he used to go for. Nowadays, she was the only type he went for. "Scully.." he moaned.. "I need you." He felt drunk all of a sudden, drowning in her feminine scent. She was all he needed to feel human, loved and desired, and she was there in his arms.. He held her tightly against him, listening to her heartbeat and her breathing. She was life. She would give him his strength back. She pulled back from him and their eyes met. Her blue eyes burned with passion and want and his hazel ones darkened with arousal. Their fate was sealed. He started to gently rub his growing erection against her. She gasped, surprised by the effect she had on him. She felt good. She felt wanted. She couldn't resist him and when their eyes met again, arousal burned within them and their lips joined hungrily. He lifted her in his arms and walked over to the couch, sitting down with her still in his lap, trapping his bulge between them. Their tongues fought for control, nipping and sucking, while she pulled off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. He fumbled with her satin nightshirt, finally ridding her of it so that they were skin to skin, her nipples taut against his chest. She rubbed her sensitive peaks on his muscled torso, making him groan into her mouth. She was aroused to the point of no return. She lowered her hands to the buttons of his jeans and undid them, reaching her final goal with a moan of pleasure. She took the glistening purple head in her hands and stroked him languidly while he divested her of her panties. Their moans were rising in volume as their arousal grew. There would be no slow lovemaking tonight. Their joining would be fast and wild. She let go of his rigid penis and he took the opportunity to lift her up and impale her on it, finding her wet and ready. She moaned loudly when he began to thrust in and out of her. Her head fell back, thrashing wildly from side to side. He bent down and took one nipple in his mouth while pumping in and out of her. Their release wasn't long in coming and they fell over the edge together. When they came down to earth, they fell limply against each other embracing tightly, their breathing erratic. She was the first to realise the enormity of what had just taken place, here on her white and blue striped couch. They had just had sex; she wasn't sure if she would consider it making love. She loved him, but did he really love her? She wasn't ready to face rejection from him. She couldn't live through it. She had to be the strong one. Their eyes met and she saw his tears and the sudden guilt invading his soul. Her heart broke into a million pieces, seeing him like that. He didn't love her. It wasn't meant to be. She took immediate action, needing to reassure him that it was alright. "Mulder..don't.. please" "I failed you. I've ruined our friendship because..I wanted to feel something more.." "I was there, Mulder, and I didn't protest. I wanted it as much as you did. It doesn't have to come between us" "What are you saying?" "I'm saying that we can go back to being just friends. We're not ready for anything else. We have a lot of work to do and we can't lose ourselves by becoming romantically involved." She tried to be convincing, even if she was dying inside, but it wasn't their time and she would have to make do with his friendship. It would be harder now that she knew how it felt to have him inside her. She prayed that someday they would be together again in that way. Mulder tried to process all she was saying. She wasn't angry. She wanted to stay friends. She said they weren't ready for a personal relationship. As usual she was being the strong one. He smiled through his tears and took her in his arms. "You are the best friend I've ever had, Scully." The scene could have been laughable. There they were, naked on her couch still breathless from mind blowing sex, professing their undying friendship instead of love. Their quest had impaired an important moment in their life and it wouldn't be the last time. Chapter 2 FBI Academy - Quantico - August 7, 1994 Special Agent Dana Scully was late for her first class of the morning. She had felt sick just after drinking her morning coffee and had to run to the bathroom to avoid vomiting all over her new suit. It was the third morning in a row that she had felt nauseous so she had made an appointment to see her med-school friend, Casey Faulkner, before work that day. Casey had diagnosed a bad case of flu, but she had drawn blood at Dana's insistence to make sure and had agreed to give her the results later that day. It had been one month since the *incident* with Mulder at her apartment, and she could still feel him kissing her before he'd stood, put his clothes back on and left her, as if nothing important had taken place just minutes before. She had felt down for a few days and she knew it would never be easy to forget the scent of him and what it felt like to have him inside her, but she had to be strong for them both because Mulder was too caught up in his quest to be personally involved with anyone. He wasn't ready for a change in their relationship and she was determined to make sure they weren't torn apart by a single night of passion. They had worked together on every possible X-File that he had been able to get his hands on. There had been the Flukeman in the New Jersey sewer and people rendered psychotic by electronic devices in Franklin, but it was just work. They never spoke about what had taken place that night in July. They were still professional around each other, even if their friendship was strained at the moment. The week before, Mulder had arrived at Quantico along with an agent named Alex Krycek. She smiled at the memory of the poor guy trying not to lose his dinner in the autopsy bay while she reported her findings to Mulder. The fact was, Krycek was his partner now, not her. Mulder had even joked about how great it was to have a partner who didn't constantly poke holes in all his theories. Things had become so awkward between them, she felt like she was losing him. They needed to talk and quickly. She made up her mind to call him that night, to talk. She took a cleansing breath, plastered a fake smile on her face and joined her class. Dr Casey Faulkner's Office - Washington DC - Same day. Before going home, Scully went back to Casey's office. She felt tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Maybe she was coming down with the flu, after all. "Hi. I'm Dana Scully. I'm here to pick up the results of my blood test." "Ah yes, Miss Scully. Dr Faulkner wants to go through it with you. I'll let her know you're here." "Thanks." Scully was slightly taken aback by the fact that Casey wanted to talk her through the results, and entered the office with a feeling of dread. Dana Scully's Apartment -Georgetown- 8 PM She was still in shock over her results. She sat down heavily on the couch and switched on the News. Casey had given her a prescription that would help with her nausea, and she had filled it at the pharmacy on the way home. She really needed to talk to Mulder, the sooner the better, and was about to dial his number when her phone rang. "Scully." "Hey Scully, I'm in Virginia." Just as he was saying that, the TV news switched to the incident in Virginia. "Yeah, I know. I've been watching it on TV. What's going on out there?" "What's the media saying?" "That an escaped mental patient is holding four people hostage in a travel agency." "Well, what they're not telling you is that he's former F.B.I. who also claims to be an alien abductee." "Seriously?" "Yeah, his name's Duane Barry. Look, Scully, I need your help. I need you to find out what happened to him. Anything, transcripts from therapy sessions, hypnotic regressions, anything about his abduction experience." "Okay, I'll get to it..Mulder, I need to talk to you. It's urgent." He didn't answer, and she was sure he was trying to avoid the conversation. "Mulder?" "Sorry, Scully, the lights went out for a minute here. We'll talk when this is over, okay?" "Okay. Stay safe." She put the receiver back in the cradle and went to her computer to boot it up. The talk had been postponed. She hoped that the hostage situation would end soon. Dana Scully's Apartment - Later that evening The hostage situation was over. Mulder believed that the man had been an alien abductee. He had taken the implant, which had been extracted from Barry's belly, and had given it to Scully. They had argued about it. She didn't believe that it was an implant, alien or otherwise. It could have been anything but he had been adamant. They parted angry, after she had agreed to have it analysed. What she had discovered was incredible; there was a barcode on the piece of metal. Mulder wasn't totally wrong; the implant had been engineered but that still didn't mean that it was by aliens. She had just arrived home from the grocery store, where she had tried to pass the implant over the barcode reader and the machine had gone crazy. She wasn't sure what that meant, but she knew it was important. She slumped onto her chair, tired beyond words. She still felt slightly nauseous and couldn't bring herself to eat. The tension between her and Mulder didn't help and she needed to break it. They had things to talk about. She decided to call him back tonight, whether or not he was ready to hear what she had to say. She dialled his home number but his machine picked up. She hesitated before hanging up and decided to leave a message. "Mulder, it's me. I need to talk to you. First off, I just had something incredibly strange happen. This piece of metal that they took out of Duane Barry, it has some kind of a code on it. I ran it through a scanner and some kind of a serial number came up. What the hell is this thing, Mulder? It's almost as if... it's almost as if somebody was using it to catalogue him. Anyway, get back to me and we'll talk about it. Mulder, I also have some other news, personal news, and it's really important that we see each other.." She was interrupted by a noise from outside. Still holding the phone, she went to the window to investigate only to find Duane Barry peering in at her. In an instant, Barry had broken the window and entered Scully's living room. She tried to escape but he was too quick and pushed her down, knocking the phone from her hand. "Mulder! I need your help..Mulderrrr" Scully made a grab for the phone, but Barry grabbed her before she could get to it. She put a protective hand on her belly when he hit her, but he was too strong and angry for her to successfully fight back. She closed her eyes and then everything went black. Chapter 3 Fox Mulder's Apartment, Alexandria - August 7, 1994 Fox Mulder was in a reflective mood. Why was his anger directed at Scully? After all, her scepticism was nothing new; she always addressed the questions he didn't think to ask. He was incredibly tense when he was around her now because of his need to control his feelings. He had started to fall in love with her, and their one night of shared intimacy had been giving him a new perspective on their partnership and friendship. However, she had made it clear after their encounter in her apartment that she only wanted his friendship, nothing more. He didn't want to be rejected again so he had come to the conclusion that being friends was better than losing her altogether. For two days she had wanted to talk to him. When they had met today, they'd had an argument that had been more serious than he originally thought. He was now worried that maybe she was regretting their agreement to save their friendship. His insecurities were getting the better of him and it never occurred to him that, maybe, she was suffering equally from all the tension between them. He noticed the blinking red light on his answering machine and pressed "play", hoping it was Scully. "Mulder, it's me. I need to talk to you. First off, I just had something incredibly strange happen. This piece of metal that they took out of Duane Barry, it has some kind of a code on it. I ran it through a scanner and some kind of a serial number came up. What the hell is this thing, Mulder? It's almost as if.. it's almost as if somebody was using it to catalogue him. Anyway, get back to me and we'll talk about it..Mulder, I also have some other news, personal news and it's really important that we see each other.." Then he heard her crying and shouting. "Mulder! I need your help..Mulderrrr." There was a crash followed by silence. She was in danger. He was out of his apartment before the machine switched off. ** Her apartment was like a war zone. Her furniture had been knocked over, and there was blood splattered over the carpet and some furniture. Images of Duane Barry throwing Scully to the floor and hitting her until she passed out ran through his mind. He could imagine her beautiful and expressive blue eyes full of fear. He would never forget her cries for help, his name on her lips calling for him. He had failed her, like he had failed Samantha. He was responsible for what had happened to her this evening. He heard a commotion at the door and went to see what was happening. It was Scully's mother. They bore a slight resemblance so he knew immediately who she was. "Mrs Scully?" "Where is she? Where's my daughter?" "Mrs Scully, I'm Fox Mulder. I'm Dana's partner. She isn't here." He steered her toward the living room and sat on the couch with her. The woman had tears in her eyes but she kept her control. "I knew it would happen this way. I had this dream about Dana being taken away. I, uh... I was going to call her but I was afraid I was going to scare her. She would have laughed at me anyway. She doesn't believe in that kind of thing, you know." "I know. I'll find her, Mrs Scully,"was all he could say. Skyland Mountain - August 10, 1994 Mulder was watching the starlight. He'd come here after his last talk with Mrs Scully. She had let him keep Scully's cross, sure that he would find her and be able to give it back to her, but he had failed her again. He had just missed Scully's captors by a few minutes. He was sure that Krycek was behind the tram problems. The young agent was dirty and when he found him, he would make him pay. He had lost his temper with Duane Barry. He couldn't bear the sight of Scully's blood on this man's hands and he would have really hurt him if Krycek hadn't intervened. Why had Krycek stopped him? Mulder was sure that the rat bastard had killed Barry after talking with him. What did he want to know? So many questions and no leads. Skinner had reopened the X-Files but what good were they without Scully as his partner? He needed to find her, bring her home and then they could have that talk. He would reassure her and maybe even confess his true feeling. He couldn't lose her too. She was the colour in his grey universe. She was as vital to him as the air he breathed. He rummaged through his pockets and found her cross, unclasping it and putting it around his neck. Wearing it made him feel much closer to her. The chain would remain near his heart until he could give it back to her. He climbed back in his car and headed to Georgetown. He needed to surround himself with her, and her apartment was the only place he could do that. Location unknown -August 10, 1994 Dana Scully was lying on a slab in a white room. She felt drowsy and couldn't move her limbs. She could make out some blurry faces all around her but couldn't make sense of what they were saying. They were wearing surgical masks and white scrubs. A man leaned over her and injected her with something that, immediately, made her dizzy. Blackness surrounded her as she lost consciousness. The Cigarette Smoking Man was reading her file and smiling at the results. It was good news and he surely hadn't expected this turn of events. Nonetheless, it was giving him a head start on the schedule and, if all worked as expected, Dana Scully would be free sooner than he had foreseen. He turned around to speak with the woman who was waiting behind him. "You are sure that Mulder doesn't know the news?" "She never had the time." The woman answered reluctantly. "Dr Faulkner, our deal is simple. You make all her files disappear and your family will always be safe." "And Dana? Will she be safe?" "I only have her best interests at heart." He answered, while taking another drag of his cigarette. He left the room without giving the fearful woman another glance. Casey Faulkner was silently crying while watching Dana in the operating room through a glass screen. She had been forced to co- operate with these men after they had threatened the life of her husband and baby boy. She had been left with no choice but to betray her friend. She turned around and left the room, hoping that someday she would be able to explain to Dana why she'd done this awful thing. Maggie Scully's residence. September 10, 1994 One month later, and with no clue about Scully's whereabouts, Fox Mulder was visiting Margaret Scully. She had invited him, wanting to talk to him. She had been particularly friendly, almost motherly to him even, though he was responsible - he felt responsible- for what happened to Scully. He knocked at the door, taking a long and cleansing breath. Maggie opened smiling widely. "Fox, come in. I am glad you could make it!" "Hi, Mrs Scully." He entered her comfortable and simple home, taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack. He followed Maggie into the living room. Coffee and cookies were laid on the coffee table and, for a minute, he forgot his guilt and enjoyed the simple gesture. She welcomed him into her home as if he was a member of the family and it warmed his broken heart. He sat down on the couch while she poured him some coffee in a delicate china cup and handed it to him with a handful of cookies. He realised that he hadn't eaten a proper meal in a long time and his stomach growled at the sight of the homemade cookies. Maggie waited until he had finished eating to speak. "Fox, I need to talk to you about Dana." She paused, noticing for the first time the deep sadness reflecting in his eyes. She took his hand in hers and continued. "We weren't very close these last few months. Since my husband's death, I've closed myself off and haven't given my children all the attention they need, but I knew that something was bothering Dana and I wanted to know what it was. I was wondering if she had told you anything?" Mulder was surprised to learn that Scully hadn't been confiding in her mother. He thought that they were really close and shared a wonderful mother-daughter relationship. Obviously Scully hadn't spoken to her mother about the personal matter she had wanted to talk to him about. "She wanted to tell me something, something personal. She seemed worried and I didn't.." he broke off, lowering his head guiltily. "I am not accusing you, Fox. I know you had a lot of problems with your job and you had been busy! *I* am feeling guilty because I wasn't there for her when she needed me and I just hoped that she'd told you what was wrong." "I am sorry,"he whispered, tears in his eyes. "There is no need to be. I am sure you will find her and she will tell us that it was nothing to worry about. My baby girl is a force to be reckoned with!" She said, equally tearful. She engulfed him in a tight embrace and all the tears that he had held back since Scully's abduction broke loose. She rocked him gently while he sobbed silently. The young man was broken and Maggie suspected that his feelings toward Dana were more than mere friendship. Fox Mulder was in love with her baby daughter and she would be sure to take care of him. If she could take care of someone else's pain, she wouldn't have to concentrate on her own. She held him until he was quiet. Chapter 4 Fox Mulder's Apartment, Alexandria. -November 4, 1994 - 7:30 PM Scully had suddenly reappeared in a hospital corridor. She was in a coma and the doctor's prognosis wasn't good. She was unresponsive and below the criteria she had established for herself in her living will, and Margaret Scully had taken the decision to switch off the respirator. Mulder didn't agree with her decision, like he hadn't agreed with Maggie's decision to buy Dana's tombstone before her reappearance. Scully couldn't die and leave him; he couldn't live with that burden. He had been wallowing in guilt since her abduction, and that was the reason he was sitting in the darkness of his apartment waiting for the men responsible for her abduction. If it was his last act before dying, so be it. He wouldn't let them go unpunished. It was his new quest and he was determined to succeed. The darkness suited him. His soul had been lost since that dreadful day in August, when Duane Barry kidnapped Scully. He had been in limbo since then, waiting. Assistant Director Skinner had reopened the X-Files and he had used the Bureau's resources to try to locate Scully, though his efforts were in vain. He had faced death and defied it more times than he cared to count. He even came near to sleeping with a woman who believed she was a vampire, while investigating a case in LA. His loneliness could have cost him his life before finding Scully. Tonight, revenge consumed him and he wouldn't relent. They would pay, no matter what. A knock at the door roused him from his dark thoughts. He stood, grabbed his Sig and went to the door. It was Melissa Scully. Georgetown Medical Centre -November 4, 1994 - 8:15 PM Melissa had convinced him to come and to say goodbye to Scully. He couldn't resign himself to her dying, and needed to do something, try to argue with her. He'd read that comatose people were able to hear what their loved ones said, so he sat down next to her bed, in the plastic hospital chair. "I feel, Scully... that you believe... you're not ready to go. And you've always had the strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my being here... will help bring you back. But I'm here." Dana Scully was walking on the beach. The seagulls were flying above the peaceful ocean. She felt good and didn't want to respond to Melissa's or Mom's voice. She wanted to stay here and rest. She deserved it. She stopped suddenly when she heard his voice, Mulder's voice. It was the first time she had been able to understand what he was saying. She sat down on the sand and listened to his low and sexy voice. Maybe she could be convinced to go back. Mulder was still holding her hand and continued talking to her for a long while. "At first, I was sure you were sent to spy on me. It was your mission but you never gave them what they wanted because you are honest and your reports testified to that. You were so green, so sure that science could explain everything. You were already beautiful even if did you hid it under all those frumpy jackets. Don't forget I saw you practically naked on our first case together..remember? The mosquito bites?" He smiled at the memory. She must have been so scared to let her guard down like that with a perfect stranger. Frankly, he had wondered if it wasn't a pretext to get him in the sack, but he saw the genuine relief in her eyes when he told her that they were just bug bites. Dana Scully wasn't a loose woman and he had begun to respect her from that moment on. "Our second case gave me a real insight into your strong will. You got me out of Ellen's Airbase by menacing military men with your gun. I just knew then that you were a force to be reckoned with. We built a wonderful partnership, and friendship came along the way. You respected me. You challenged me. You forced me to work harder to get to the truth. More than that, you made me learn what trust really meant. And there's something else, something really important I was too chicken to admit. That night in your apartment, when we had..when we made love, I realised that being just friends wasn't enough. I love you, Scully and I need you to come back to me, to try to convince me that it's wrong to think that we can't be involved. Come back to me. Come back to me.." His last words were whispered as he lowered his head onto their joined hands and fell into an exhausted sleep. Dana Scully was still on the beach. She hadn't missed a word he'd said. She stood up and went back in the direction she came from. It was time to go home, to her family and to Mulder. Her time hadn't come. It was time to start fighting. Georgetown Medical Centre - November 5, 1994 - 7:00 PM Scully came out of her coma the following morning. It was miraculous. Melissa and Maggie Scully had spent the day with her and Mulder had made a quick appearance to offer her a silly sports video. She felt weary. She loved her sister and her mother dearly, but she felt smothered by them. She wanted to talk with Mulder, alone. She needed him. She couldn't remember anything from the time she was missing and had very little memory of the days before that. She knew that she had wanted to tell Mulder something important before disappearing but she didn't know what. She hadn't forgotten their encounter on her couch last summer; it was her most cherished memory and she was glad she hadn't lost it. She heard the door opening and her face broke out in large relieved grin. He was here, wearing her favourite outfit of tight black jeans, white tee-shirt and leather jacket. His presence made her feel alive for the first time since she had awoken from her coma. She focused on his eyes and saw utter happiness. Her mother had told her about the sadness and loneliness that he had felt during her absence. She had a hard time processing the fact that she had been missing for three long months: It was as if she had fallen asleep and woken up to a different world. It was fall now and she'd missed most of the summer, her favourite season. She held her hand out and he took it in his. He was smiling and she thought he looked more relaxed than she had seen him for a long time. He lowered his mouth to kiss her cheek gently and she shivered at the intimate contact. She knew that they had decided to just stay friends, but her resolve was failing her at that moment. He sat down on the bed next to her, keeping her hand in his. "How are you?" "I am getting better. Tired and a little disoriented. Three months is a long time." "I know. I can go if you want to sleep." "No! Stay, please! I haven't had time to talk to you. Missy and Mom have been here all day and I was starting to feel smothered by them. I love them dearly but they were too much for me." "They missed you like crazy. So did I." "I know." She blushed and he found it cute. Dana Scully was unfolding like a flower and he loved it. "Mom told me how hard you worked to find me and I wanted to thank you." "I failed. I didn't find you. You just reappeared." "It's comforting to know that you cared so much that you spent all your free time searching for me." "It was my fault." "How? You can't be sure of that. It could have been a coincidence. Barry was mentally unstable." "It wasn't a coincidence. You were taken because of the X-Files, because of me" She started to laugh and he stared at her in disbelief. "What's so funny?" "You and me. I am back less than 24 hours and we are already arguing about my abduction. We never change, do we?" "No, I guess we don't," he said with a deprecating smile. An unexpected and uncomfortable silence enveloped them. The time had come to talk about had happened before her abduction. She had wanted to talk with him and he had been so afraid that she wanted to call it quits, that he had avoided the conversation before. He had to be careful and he wasn't entirely sure if now was the best time to talk about it. "You wanted to talk about something before.." He started, clearly embarrassed. "I know but..I can't remember what. Things are a bit confused right now but I am sure it will come back to me. If it was important, I'll remember." "It was important. You were adamant we needed to talk" "I'm sorry. I don't remember." She lowered her head, defeated. Something was nagging her but she just couldn't remember what. She needed her journal. It was her sole means of discovering what was so important that she wanted to talk to him about. He took her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. She seemed upset about her memory loss and she didn't need that at the moment. "Don't worry about that. You'll remember, but now you need rest. I didn't mean to rush you. We have time." "I want my memories back, Mulder." She said, getting more upset. "You need to get your strength back first. Give it time. Come on, lay back." He helped her to lie back on her bed and tucked her in. He kissed her forehead gently, lingering a few seconds more than was necessary, and then turned to go. "Mulder, please stay." She pleaded. "Okay. I'll stay until you fall asleep. Deal?" "Deal." She closed her eyes and sleep came quickly. Mulder watched her sleeping for a long moment, drowning in her peaceful face, and fell asleep in the chair next to her. The nurse found them like that during her last evening tour. It was against regulations but she let them be. They both looked so peaceful and regulations could be forgotten for tonight. She closed the door leaving the FBI agents sleeping. Chapter 5 Margaret Scully's Residence -November 22, 1994 Dana Scully was released from the hospital two weeks after coming out of her coma. Her mother had insisted Scully went home with her, to help her recuperate. She was staying in the room she used to share Missy. The two sisters had been really close until Melissa left home to see the world. Missy was as mystical as Dana was down to earth. She believed in astrology, numerology, tarot, mediums.. you name it, she believed in it. Dana smiled, thinking about how she shared her childhood with a mystical sister and was now partnered with Mulder, believer in aliens and all things paranormal. Her thoughts wandered back to Mulder. He phoned her three or four time a day, checking on her like a mother hen. She could see the guilt behind the gesture. She knew him well enough to know that her abduction had taken its toll on Mulder's conscience. He was a good man and she could never put the blame on him. The danger and the risks were part of the job and she had accepted them when she enrolled in the Bureau. It was one more subject to add to the pile of issues they had to discuss. She was still trying to remember what had taken place before her abduction. She could see herself grocery shopping and holding the piece of metal, extracted from Duane Barry, over the barcode reader. She knew that she'd had an appointment with her med-school friend Casey Faulkner, but she didn't think that had anything to do with the subject she wanted to talk to Mulder about. Her memory loss was so specific that she had started to suspect it was deliberate. Two years ago she would have been sure that it was impossible to alter the memories of a human being but, after what she seen with Mulder, she wasn't so sure. Something else was also bothering her; she hadn't been able to find her journal. She had asked her mother to drop her at home just after being released, and had searched her desk and her bedside drawers in vain. The leather bound journal was missing. A knock at her door made her jump. Melissa came in with cups of tea on a tray and sat down next to her sister. "How are you feeling, Dana?" "A little tired." "Mom had just made a fresh pot of tea and I thought we could have a cup together, like we did when we were younger." Scully could see that her sister wanted to talk. When they were teenagers, they used to share their secrets while drinking hot tea. She took a cup and the smell was still the same as she remembered. She smiled, feeling comforted that not everything had changed in her life. Melissa took a cup too and watched her sister. "What do you want to know, Missy?" Scully said trying to hide that she was amused by her sister. Melissa smiled and decided to be up front with Dana. "Are you sleeping with Mulder?" she asked bluntly. "Missy! He's my partner!" She answered, shocked. "I know that but I feel something more. When you were in a coma, I sensed that his feelings were deeper than one would have for a mere co-worker." "We are friends, best friends." "Oh, Dana! It was more than friendship. I was there when he came to visit you. I saw his smile. I don't think he is the kind of man who smiles like that on a daily basis. His aura was strong. It was love!" "Please! Stop it with the aura thing!" "Auras don't lie. I know there's more between the two of you, little sister. What I can't understand is why you are so shy about it? Life is too short sweetie, you know that. You've just got another chance, don't lose any more time." Melissa was serious and Scully needed to get what happened with Mulder out of her system. She knew that Melissa wouldn't be shocked by her confession, but she still found it hard to open up. She gathered her courage and decided to reveal her secret. "Late one night, Mulder came to my apartment. He felt down and just needed human contact. One thing led to another and, well, we ended up having sex on my couch." She blushed at the recollection. Missy remained silent knowing that it was difficult for Dana to talk about such personal matters. "Oh Missy, he had tears in his eyes right after we were finished. He looked so ashamed. I think he thought that he had used our friendship to get a pity fuck. It wasn't what had happened. I made love to him but, honestly, we were just not ready to commit to each other in that way so I told him to forget about it and we should just stay friends. He was so relieved when I told him that I wasn't angry. We cuddled for a little while and then he got dressed and left. From that moment on, I really believed that he didn't feel anything for me but, after having seen him at the hospital, I know that he loves me as much as I love him. The problem is Missy, it's not our time. We have work to do and we're committed to that." "I'm sad for you both, Dana. You both deserve happiness. Why can't you be lovers and partners?" "Because we can't mix love and work, not without sacrificing one for the other. He's already feeling guilty over my abduction and, if we were in a relationship, he wouldn't let me do my job properly. I can't, and won't, accept that. We need to stay partners and friends for now. One day we'll have our chance, but for now we have to concentrate on our work." Melissa understood Dana, but she couldn't help thinking that it was a waste of time to wait when you knew that you had met your true soul mate. She was sure of it: Dana and Fox were meant to be. Their auras were strong and brighter when joined together. Dana had lowered her head and her sister knew that it was hard for her too. "Hey, honey, I understand. If it works that way why not? Just don't forget my advice. You're meant for him as he is for you, I am sure of it. I know you don't believe in auras but I beg you to believe in me, little sis." Dana smiled and embraced her sister affectionately. She felt much better having confessed her secret. She wanted to believe Melissa, but reality was her world and there was no place for wishful thinking. J. Edgar Hoover Building -Basement Office- November 29, 1994 Mulder was rummaging through a filing cabinet when Scully entered the office. She had asked Melissa to drop her off because she needed to talk with Mulder. She felt a lot better and had left her mother's home, wanting to get back on track; to have control over her life. She was dressed casually, and it felt strange to be at work dressed in jeans and sneakers. She knocked on the door to make her presence known. He turned around, surprised. It was rare that the basement office had visitors and his face brightened when he spotted her. "Hey Scully!" "Good morning to you too, Mulder." He went to his desk and sat down on his chair. She mirrored his actions and sat on one of the chairs before him. "Are you working on something particular?" "Nah, I'm just doing a little research. You had an appointment with Skinner?" "No. I talked to him on the phone yesterday. I wanted to see you and talk to you." "About?" "Skinner had asked me if I wanted to stay at Quantico or come back to the X-Files. I gave him my answer and told him that I would tell you in person." She said bluntly. His disappointed expression didn't escape her. He was trying to hide what he thought and was probably expecting her to stay at Quantico. A part of him was, without a doubt, relieved, but he needed her in his life. It was a fact now and it wouldn't be easy to go on without her, but all he wanted was to keep her safe. "I am coming back, Mulder. After what happened to me, I need to find the answers. I have to find the people responsible for my abduction." "You'd be safer at Quantico." "I'd die from boredom at Quantico." He remained serious, trying to make her change her mind. He had to make sure she wasn't doing it from a misplaced sense of duty. He had to try to protect her. "You've been held against your will for three months because of our work on the X-Files. Do you really want to be exposed to that risk again?" "Please Mulder, I know what I'm doing. I need to make sense of what happened to me and I am *your* partner, like it or not. I am not a quitter and I plan to kick the asses of the bastards who stole my memories and three months of my life! Don't forget I can kick your ass too. I'm not fragile. I'm an FBI agent and I knew the risks when I accepted the job. I won't give it up!" she said, adamantly. Mulder watched her, trying to determine if she was telling the truth or if it was just false bravado. Her blue eyes showed determination and he knew without a doubt that he would never convince her to let it go. He secretly admired her for her strength and swore to himself that he would protect her no matter what. He stood and held his hand out to her. She smiled and shook his hand vigorously. "Welcome back, Special Agent Scully." "Thank you, Special Agent Mulder." Chapter 6 Outside Donnie Pfaster's Home - Minneapolis -December 29, 1994 Scully was shivering when they finally left Pfaster's house. This case had been hard on her, the hardest since her return to the X- Files division. The incident with Pfaster had shaken her self- confidence and, to her dismay, she had shown her vulnerability in the field. Mulder was aware of her turmoil. She was a very strong person and she liked to be in control but, since her abduction, her boundaries had been stretched to the max. Their recent cases had been back-to-back and she hadn't had time to catch her breath. She wasn't sleeping well because of nightmares, but what bothered her most was that she couldn't remember what she dreamt, once she was awake. She was just left with an unsettled feeling and she didn't like it. She didn't say anything to Mulder, afraid that he would feel obligated to protect her. Her protective walls had been erected again and they didn't talk much anymore, outside of the office. Their relationship wasn't exactly strained, but they weren't as close as they had been last summer. She wiped away the tears and tried to put on a brave face, but Mulder wasn't buying it. He knew that she hadn't been herself lately. During the Pfaster case she had seemed afraid. The fact that Pfaster had kidnapped her, and locked her in a closet, hit too close to home. She hadn't really dealt with her abduction and its consequences yet and the psychologist in Mulder knew that it wasn't good to keep everything bottled up, as she was doing. She needed to talk to someone and he felt hurt that she didn't trust him enough to come to him. But tonight it wasn't about him and his feelings. She needed comfort and he would give it to her. He put his arm around her shoulder, sheltering her from the cold wind. She gratefully accepted his warmth and embraced him tightly. He led her to his car and helped her to sit down in the passenger seat, then closed the door and took his place behind the wheel. She closed her eyes and reclined on her seat, trying to chase the demons away. "You okay, Scully?" he asked, worry evident in his voice. "I'm fine."she answered without even thinking. It was her trademark answer and he cringed at hearing it. Their journey passed in a heavy silence. She kept her eyes closed and he concentrated on driving safely to their motel. They couldn't go on like this, something had to give and he hoped that their relationship would survive it. He parked next to their rooms in the motel car park, then killed the engine and turned to her. Her eyes were open but she was deep in thought. She hadn't even noticed that they had stopped moving. "We're here Scully." She jumped as if she had forgotten where she was, undid the seat belt, and opened her door. The night was cold and she had the chills again. She rummaged in her pockets for her keys and finally found them. She went to her room door and opened it, turning to watch Mulder, who hadn't moved an inch since he exited the car. He was worried and she needed to reassure him, even if she wasn't feeling so good at the moment. "Come with me, Mulder." She pleaded. She was afraid to be alone more than she would admit, and would feel better if he was there. He joined her and closed the door behind him. She entered the bathroom and locked herself in while he sat down heavily on her bed. He was sure they wouldn't talk; she would hide behind her protective wall and dismiss his concerns. He didn't know how to confront her. He didn't want to fight, he just wanted to help her feel better. He just wanted his best friend back. He missed his witty, confident, scientific partner. The water was shut off in the bathroom, and she came out clad in her fluffy white robe with her head wrapped in a towel. Without make-up, she couldn't hide the dark rings under her eyes and the gauntness of her face. She had lost a lot of weight lately and he knew that she wasn't eating well. He was worried that her encounter with Pfaster would throw her deeper into depression. "Are you feeling better?" He asked, trying to start a conversation. "Yes. Thanks for rescuing me again, Mulder," "That's my job Scully, you don't need to thank me." "Mulder, I know you want to talk about it but..I'm not ready yet. I need to sleep..I am so tired.." "It's okay. All I want is for you to trust me with this. You can tell me anything. I am not here to judge you. I want to help you. Promise me, you'll come to me if you need anything during the night. Anything." "I promise, Mulder. I'll talk to you tomorrow." She had dismissed him with that last sentence. He wasn't sure that, in the morning, she would talk to him wholeheartedly, but he was determined to talk to her about everything, including what had happened tonight with Pfaster. He rose from the bed and, before leaving the room, kissed her tenderly on her cheek. "Goodnight, Scully." "''Night, Mulder." Motel 6 - Minneapolis - The same night. Scully was strapped to a metal slab and a bright light was shining on her. She was trying to yell but no sound came out of her mouth. She heard people talking, whilst a cold gel was spread on her belly. She couldn't see what they were doing. All she knew was that she was hurting; it felt as if something was tearing her stomach apart. She felt someone's hands on her, holding her down, and then the words: "Shhhh Scully. Come on, wake up. It's okay, you're safe." Her eyes snapped open and she felt completely disorientated. All she knew was that Mulder was here and he would protect her. She was covered in sweat and the bedclothes were stuck to her body. He left her to fetch a wet cloth from the bathroom. He came back and gently wiped the sweat from her face, then put the cloth down on the bedside table and cradled her face gently between his hands. "You okay, now?" "Yes." She whispered, still shaking. He took her in his arms and held her tightly. Her breathing slowly returned to normal while she rested against his warm chest. He hadn't had time to dress when he heard her screaming, so he was just wearing his boxers. It was good to be so close again, even if it was because a nightmare. He had missed it, more than he cared to admit. Scully had missed it too. She drew back from him and looked up into his deep hazel eyes. She could see concern and something that she hadn't seen for a while: Love. She had first seen that raw expression when they had made love in her living room, and had thought that it was just arousal, but she knew better now. They had agreed that it wasn't the right time to act on their feelings, and her mind was still convinced that was true, but her heart didn't agree. She saw something else, too. He wanted to know what her nightmares were about and wouldn't let go until he knew. Mulder was persistent and asked, worry creasing his features. "What were you dreaming about Scully?" She lowered her gaze, trying to avoid the proverbial elephant in the corner. She needed to give him an answer before he probed too far into her psyche. "It was bits and pieces of my abduction. I think it was triggered by what happened earlier." "What was happening?" "I'm not sure exactly. I was afraid. I couldn't scream no sound would come out of my mouth." "Can you be more specific?" She didn't want to remember; didn't want to be specific. She wanted to forget, to bury the few memories she had of her abduction, but Pfaster had pushed her fears back to the surface and she knew that she was back to square one. She knew Mulder wouldn't be convinced that all was fine. "Please Mulder, let it go for tonight.. I don't want to talk about it any more." Her blue eyes were full of unshed tears and it broke his heart. He let the subject go, for now, but he swore to himself that he would try to break through her defences. "Okay, you win. You okay to get back to sleep?" She hesitated and then held her hand out to him, inviting him to come closer. "Stay." He relented, for both their sakes. He knew that he wouldn't sleep next to her. He couldn't afford to let his finely controlled emotions go and let her see that he was feeling more than mere friendship for her. He needed his control and sleep would allow his defences to drop. He craved her like a man lost in the desert needed water. He didn't want to jeopardize what they had because he was feeling horny. He reclined on the bed next to her and switched off the light. She cuddled up to him, making herself comfortable. She hummed contentedly and sleep soon took her. The nightmares were kept at bay while she slept next to him, and that was all that mattered. Tomorrow was another day, but now she was resting and Mulder was happy to be able to offer her some peace. Chapter 7 Eisenhower Field Military Hospital - Alaska -February 4, 1995 "I found something I thought I'd lost. Faith to keep looking." This short speech seemed to exhaust Mulder and he fell back to sleep. Although his breathing was still laboured, his other vitals were stable. The antibiotics Scully prescribed had worked well and the retrovirus was no longer a threat. He just needed to get his strength back before being allowed to go back to Washington DC. Scully remained seated next to his bed and held his hand, as if it was an anchor. She'd almost lost him, and it was just beginning to sink in how lucky she was that he was still there with her. She had felt so relieved when he'd opened his eyes and spoken to her. She was still very angry with him for ditching her, and she promised herself that she would have to double her efforts to rid him of that bad habit. He couldn't go on hiding important facts from her just because he was trying to protect her. She was a trained agent, like him, and he shouldn't dismiss her just because he felt guilty about her abduction. She had fought hard against depression after her ordeal with Donnie Pfaster and Mulder had helped her a lot. The morning after her terrifying encounter with the psychopath, she had woken in his arms after the first real full night's sleep since her abduction. She had felt rested and understood that it was time for her to deal with the feelings brought up by the incident. She had started meeting Karen Kosseff, the FBI psychologist, twice a week and she was just beginning to sort through her feelings. She had been given a clean bill of health two weeks before; now all she had to do was convince Mulder that she didn't need to be considered fragile anymore. The man was infuriating but she loved him anyway. Her love for him was still an issue that she avoided. She had to remind herself on a daily basis not to forget that they were just friends. She was determined to be strong, but it wasn't easy when they spent so much time together. After finding him in bed with her in Minneapolis, her heart and her mind had waged a battle. It would have been so easy to respond to her raging hormones and make love to him. He was so cute, all sleepy looking with his spiky hair. He was such a turn-on; bare-chested, with his morning erection poking at her back. But she had resisted and also knew that it hadn't been a walk in the park for him either. She could still see how embarrassed he was, nearly running to take a cold shower and get some clothes on. There were other important matters they had to discuss, like the fact that he had agreed to exchange the person he thought was his sister for her. He had estranged himself even more from his parents by his actions. She needed to know why he had done that, because, if she had known who it was, she would never have allowed him to sacrifice his sister for her. They could have found another way. Eisenhower Field Military Hospital - Alaska - February 11, 1995 One week later, Mulder was well on his way to recovery and they were scheduled to leave Alaska within the next two days. Scully was glad to be going home as she felt it was time for "the talk" as soon as they got there. She was reading a medical journal in the cafeteria when she saw Mulder enter the room. He was thin and gaunt but he had a good appetite and she was sure that it was only a matter of time before he regained the weight he had lost. He sat down next to her, taking a sip from her coffee cup without asking, just to irritate her. When he was bored he did all he could to be aggravating. She put her journal down and gave him "the eyebrow", hoping that she could keep the relief she felt from showing on her face. She was relieved that he was better to the point of annoying her. It was a big improvement. "Can't you get your own coffee, Mulder?" "Where is the fun in that?" He smiled smugly. "Just out of your hospital bed and you're already looking for ways to get back in to it. Don't forget I am a doctor, Mulder, I know how to hurt you without leaving marks." "Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty to me, Scully." "You are incorrigible, Mulder." She smiled. "But you love me anyway." He realised too late what he had said. Scully had been reluctant to talk about what he called "the incident" at her apartment, last summer. She probably didn't want to be reminded of her mistake. He lowered his head. She saw his reaction and realised that his insecurities were back in full bloom. There wasn't time for that. "I do love you, Mulder. Never doubt it." He raised his head, hope shining in his hazel eyes. She always knew how to reassure him. He knew that she spoke of friendship but it was good to be loved, no matter what way. She stayed silent, gathering the courage to talk to him about his sacrifice of who he thought was his sister for her, and the subsequent ditch. "Why did you agree to exchange your sister for me?" "She wasn't my sister." "You didn't know that at the time." "I couldn't fail you again, and she was sure she could kill the Bounty Hunter. I went prepared..or so I thought. I couldn't imagine myself having to face your mother and tell her that I lost you again. Never again." He whispered. "You had to face your parents and tell them that Samantha had disappeared, for the second time. How much harder was that?" She rose. "I've been a disappointment to my parents for years. I couldn't do that to your mother." "It wasn't your fault, Mulder. You were just a little boy. Nobody could expect a twelve year old boy to fight whatever, or whoever, took your sister." She said, adamantly. "I was in charge. I was responsible." He answered with unshed tears in his eyes. "As I was responsible for your abduction. If you hadn't been my partner, you would never have.." "Stop it, already." She interrupted him, angrily. "I chose to join the FBI. I chose to stay your partner. You can't feel responsible for what happens to me while doing my job. I make my own decisions, Mulder. We are partners and you can't keep ditching me because of a misplaced sense of guilt. It has to stop, Mulder. Your behaviour is unacceptable. You can't ditch me whenever you like!" "It was dangerous. It wasn't official, and I couldn't drag you along when I knew it was going to be dangerous and I couldn't guarantee your safety." "Bullshit! I deserve to be informed Mulder. I'm your partner. Like it or not, we are in a relationship. We are friends and partners but that means nothing if you can't be honest with me." A heavy silence surrounded them; Mulder was taken aback by her outburst. She still wanted to be his friend and his partner even after he had treated her so badly. She was incredible and he was glad that she still wanted him, flawed as he was. She had made a valid point; they were in a relationship, just not the one he dreamt of. He watched her carefully; her blue eyes were dazzling. She was still angry because he had acted like an idiot and she'd had to save his life again. He needed to stop this crap for the sake of their relationship, if he wanted to keep her. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her and that's why he had acted that way. It was wrong and he would have to make amends. He grabbed her hand and put it near his heart. She stared at him with piercing eyes, nearly driving a hole through his soul. "I promise to be honest with you Scully. I can't promise that I will never be a fucking chauvinist because I hate putting you in danger, but I'll tell you if I have to go. I won't ditch you on purpose again. I'm gonna try to be a good partner." He watched her impenetrable mask, trying to see something through it but to no avail. He tried his last card: "Still friends?" She smiled a thousand watt smile and nodded. "More than ever." She answered, before drawing him into an embrace. They stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the comfort they found in each others arms. Soon they would be back to DC; work was waiting for them. Chapter 8 Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - April 10, 1995 Scully was pacing nervously in her living room. She knew something was really wrong with Mulder, he hadn't been himself for a couple of days. He was more paranoid and more aggressive than usual, and she was afraid that in an act of rage, he had killed his father. She had been waiting for him to return from Martha's Vineyard for the past two hours. A knock at her door made her jump and she ran to answer it, opening the door to an angry and feverish looking Mulder. He fell into her arms, unable to stand another second without support. "Mulder.. My God. Look at you. You're sick." "I'm okay." He answered, sitting down heavily in her armchair. "No come on, I want you to lie down.." She helped him to stand and noticed at the blood on his clothes. "Woah.. come on, I want you to lie down, let me take your coat off." She helped him with his coat and steered him toward her bedroom, where she made him lie down on her bed. She touched his forehead. He was feverish so she went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth to try to cool him down. "You gotta find them Scully." He said, trying to stand up. She forced him to lie down again and put the cool cloth on his forehead, caressing his cheek tenderly. "Right now you have to lie down. Come here." She whispered. "We gotta find out who killed my father. " "Well right now you need to rest okay? Rest, okay?" He closed his eyes and sleep claimed him before she could give him some Tylenol to help fight the fever. She decided to leave him be, to get what little rest he could. She changed into her pj's and brushed her teeth, all the while keeping watch on Mulder. She was worried because she didn't know why he was so paranoid and so agitated. There was the matter of those encrypted files, but he had been cranky before discovering their encryption. There was definitely something wrong but she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment it all started. She went back to her bedroom. He was awake but his eyes were glazed over. She held out the Tylenol she had prepared and then helped him to undress. She tried not to react when she bared his chest and went to take off his pants. She felt ashamed of herself, fantasizing about him while he was ill, but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't help remembering the one time they'd made love, she was only human after all. She could rationalize all she wanted when he wasn't there, but now he was in her bed in just his boxers and that was a major turn-on. She gasped when she saw the bulge forming in his underwear. He was reacting to her presence too. Her head told her she had to fight and be strong but her body was betraying her. Their eyes met and their gazes held for a long time. She was unable to resist the fire in his hazel eyes. He couldn't control the arousal, he was too wound up to resist and he grabbed her hand and yanked hard. She fell heavily on to him and any protest she wanted to utter was forgotten when his mouth attacked hers. She opened her mouth to welcome his tongue into the deep recesses of her warm mouth. He thoroughly caressed and stroked her tongue with his. He was wild and uncontrollable. She knew that whatever had caused his fever had removed his inhibitions and that he probably couldn't stop, even if she asked him to. The decision was taken out of her hands when he started to pull off her clothes. He caressed her already taut nipples and threw her top on the floor. He took care of her pants and panties in one swift move. He was a man on a mission and nothing would get in his way. Her body remembered his touch from the one and only night that her brain tried so hard to forget. She was lost in a whirlwind of sensation. He quickly removed his boxers, freeing his hard-on. This was one of his wildest dreams and it felt like he was really living it. His fogged brain didn't register that it was actually happening and that Scully was a willing participant. She was wet and ready for him, and moaned as he rolled her onto her back and entered her in one hard thrust. It felt so good. She felt alive, truly alive for the first time since she had come back from her abduction, even if deep down she knew that she was taking advantage of a man who wasn't in complete control of his actions. There would be a time for shame but now was a time for pleasure and she was too aroused to stop him and be the voice of reason. It didn't take much for her to reach her peak and she came hard at the exact same moment his release came. She floated through the clouds for a while and, when she came back to herself, she found him deep in sleep. She blushed furiously when her mind took over and she realised what she had done. She disentangled herself from him and stuffed him back in his boxers. He was snoring loudly and didn't stir when she covered him back up. The room reeked of sex and she felt dizzy and nauseous at the same time. Shame was taking over and she didn't know how she could ever justify her actions to him, or to herself. She was the one who insisted that they had to stay as friends, and not move their relationship to the next level. She was the one who didn't want to approach the subject and now she had allowed him to make love to her for the second time when he was really in no shape to do so, even if he did initiate it. She hadn't rejected his touches and his kisses. She was guilty. She went to the bathroom to take a shower, and try to wash away her shame. There was no way she would sleep tonight. Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - April 11, 1995 - 6 AM She entered her bedroom to check on him. He was still sleeping, peacefully, so she went to his jeans to retrieve his weapon. She had decided to have it analysed to help clear his name. She'd had time to reflect upon their situation and she had decided to concentrate on their investigation. There would be plenty of time, after finding his father's murderer, to talk out their behaviour the night before. She left the apartment with purpose. Special Agent Scully was in charge. Chapter 9 Margaret Scully's Residence - April 17, 1995 Scully had been walking for two hours, she felt lost and she had even pulled her shoes off because they had begun to hurt. The events of the last five days were rolling around in her head; discovering the drugged water in Mulder's building, shooting him to stop him from killing Krycek, running away with him to New Mexico, discovering her name in the MJ files and finally, Mulder missing, presumed dead. It was all a living nightmare and to top it all off she had just been suspended from the Bureau. She was crying from shame and distress. She had lost her partner and her job. Just five days ago, she had made love to him while he was drugged and probably not fully conscious of his actions. She didn't get the chance to explain what had happened to him and confess her true feelings. Now out of a job, she wouldn't have the means to find out who was responsible for his murder. She finally arrived at her mother's front door and rang the bell, still holding her shoes, and with tears streaming down her face. Margaret Scully opened up the door to her dishevelled daughter and gasped at the sight before her. "Dana, what...?" "Hi mom." "What did you do with your shoes?" "They, uh, they started to give me blisters, so..." "You walked here at this time of night?" Maggie asked, dumfounded and worried at the same time. Scully started to weep uncontrollably and hugged her mother tightly. "Oh mom, I've made a terrible mistake..Dad would be so ashamed of me." Margaret steered her daughter inside her house. Dana was crying so hard that it broke her heart. Dana seldom cried. She had always been the strongest of her two girls, but this time her walls had crumbled and the waterworks were unstoppable. Margaret Scully's Residence - Later the same evening Scully had released all the emotions she had been holding in since she had discovered the boxcar on fire, and eventually. fell into an exhausted sleep in her old bedroom. Maggie had asked Melissa to come over, feeling, that her baby daughter would open up more easily to her sister. There was still a kind of distance between Dana and Maggie. It was a residual effect of Maggie's depression after her husband's death. Mother and daughter had stayed emotionally estranged for a while and the trust hadn't returned completely yet. Missy and Dana had always been close and, since Dana's abduction, the two sisters had become even closer. Dana needed someone to talk to but she wasn't very good at opening up to others. Her friends had all married and started families of their own, while Dana had taken a different route and given her all to building her career at the FBI. Maggie just hoped that Melissa could get through to Dana and help her open up. Scully was back in the white room. She was restrained and couldn't move. Her legs were strapped in stirrups and wide open as if she was being examined by an Ob-Gyn. She could see two people dressed in scrubs, talking, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She experienced a sudden feeling as if her stomach was being torn from inside. She fought wave after wave of pain. It was worse than any stomach ache she had ever felt, the pain stopped for a minute and then came back with a vengeance. There seemed to be some sort of pattern to the pain but she couldn't identify what it was. A sudden realisation came to her, but it was impossible. It couldn't be. The pain engulfed her again and she couldn't concentrate on her symptoms any longer. She attempted to ride out the waves but it was all too much, and she was unable to determine the origin of the faint mewling she heard just before her world faded to black. Melissa went upstairs to check on her sister and opened the bedroom door. Dana was thrashing wildly in her bed, clearly having a nightmare. Missy cautiously approached her sister and tried to bring her round gently, whispering reassurances. After a few moments, Dana opened her eyes and started in panic, but on recognizing her sister she relaxed back on the bed and let Missy embrace her. After a while, Melissa broke the silence. "What's wrong, Dane? Mom called me. She said you were upset and crying." Scully took a deep, cleansing breath. She needed to talk, to get the pain and shame out of her system, and she trusted her sister. "He's dead, Missy, Mulder's dead." She blurted out. "What?! How?!" "He died in a fire, the worst thing that could have happened to him. He was terrified of fire and now he's dead. He's never going to know how sorry I am." "Sorry for what, Dana? I'm sure you did all you could." "It's not that.." she said clearly embarrassed. " I took advantage of him when he was ill and..." "Whoaaa, stop a minute Dana! Why don't you start at the beginning, huh?" "Mulder's father was killed at his home, in Martha's vineyard. Mulder was there but never got to see the killer. He came to me after discovering his father's dead body. He was covered in his father's blood and, obviously, not well. I helped him to my bedroom and undressed him. In his feverish haze, he..reacted to me and I admit I was reacting too..so we.." She blushed profusely, unable to go on. "You what?" Missy encouraged. "We had sex, again." "So what's wrong with that?" "He wasn't really himself at the time and I never got to tell him how sorry and ashamed I felt. Now, he's dead and he'll never know." "He'll never know that you love him? That's what's bothering you so much, isn't it?" "Yes."she whispered, her face full of remorse and pain. Melissa couldn't believe that Mulder was dead. She could still feel his powerful aura, as if he was here in the room with her and Dana. She believed in the afterlife but it didn't feel like he was there. She felt the indestructible bond that her sister had with Mulder, and this link would have disappeared if the man were dead. She didn't want to burden Dana with her beliefs right now. Her sister needed to know that her love for Mulder was mutual, but it wasn't her place to tell her. Mulder and Dana were made for each other but they were either too proud or too blind to admit it. Melissa embraced her sister tightly and they stayed that way for a long time. It was the calm before the storm but neither of them knew it. After a while, Scully disentangled herself from her sister and attempted to regain her composure. She had to find the courage to fight and to take down the men responsible for Mulder's death. He deserved to be avenged and she wanted to clear his name, and hers, from the accusations against them. She wouldn't let his reputation be sullied any further by false assumptions. Melissa felt the change in her sister immediately. Special Agent Dana Scully was back in charge and she was glad that some things never changed. Her baby sister was all courage and strong will and Melissa was sure that she would be reunited with the man she loved. Chapter 10 Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - April 21, 1995 Dana Scully was numb. Her life had been turned upside down in a few short days and she was just beginning to process everything that had happened since she had talked to Melissa for the last time. She had, unsuccessfully, attempted hypno-regression to try to uncover her memories from her abduction. She'd dreamt of Mulder and he'd told her not to give up as he would be back soon. She had attended William Mulder's funeral, met Mrs Mulder, and told her that her son would come back soon. At the funeral, she had been approached by a man who told her that someone she knew would try to kill her. She had instantly suspected Skinner and had confronted him but, before the situation got out of hand, Mulder had burst in and taken her to the Gunmen's lair to trace the whereabouts of a factory in Virginia. It was at the Gunmen's lair that she found out that Melissa had been mistaken for her, and shot in her apartment. Her first instinct was to run to her sister's bedside but Mulder persuaded her to wait as it wasn't safe. She would never forgive herself for listening to Mulder and staying away when Melissa needed her. Melissa had died and she never got the chance to say goodbye, to say how sorry she was. She was determined to find her sister's murderer. She wanted answers and justice. She needed to do this one last thing for her only sister. She needed to grieve. Sitting in the darkness of her apartment, Scully tried to make sense of what had happened but it was all too much. She was overcome with grief, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Finally, it all got too much for her, the dam broke and she let go. She clutched a cushion to her and let the tears fall, not registering Mulder kneeling beside her. He didn't know how to act around a crying Scully. He seldom saw her cry and therefore wasn't sure how to comfort her. He took her cold hands in his and tried to bring her back, to let her know he was there for her. Her watery eyes watched him without really seeing. He rocked her tenderly, kissing her hair occasionally and whispering words of comfort. After a while, she stopped crying and fell limp against him. She was tired from the grief and all the tears she had shed. She couldn't cry any more and her soul was surrounded by a black mist. Her sister was dead. It would be a long time before she could sort through her feelings. Melissa had been her confidant, and now she was alone. Deep down, she knew she wasn't truly alone because Mulder was there and would always be her friend, but she would have to manage her conflicting feelings about him all by herself now. She was scared she would damage their relationship beyond repair, if Missy wasn't there to guide her. Mulder touched her cheek softly to get her attention. She raised her watery gaze to him. Her eyes were red and puffy, and trails of tears had marked her face. She was a wreck and he wanted so much to comfort her. Without thinking, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her gently. It was meant to be a chaste kiss just to reassure and comfort her but it soon got out of hand. His tongue was granted entrance and the kiss became intense and primal. He reacquainted himself with her mouth, sucking and licking. She moaned under his ministrations. Their hands clutched at clothes and the story began to repeat itself: They were suffering and they could find solace in a physical encounter, but her brain wasn't fogged to the point of not realising that it was wrong. She didn't know how she found the strength to disentangle herself from his warmth but she did it, standing abruptly and leaving Mulder sitting in a state of shock. She didn't want to be weak and respond to his charm, as she had done twice already. She needed to put an end to their accidental physical encounters. She had felt his raging hard-on poking at her thigh. Mulder was a very sensual being and she knew that she had to be strong for both of them, all over again. She tried to regain her composure and put her Agent Scully persona back in place. She was finally under control again when she said: "We can't do this anymore, Mulder. It's wrong." "Why is it wrong?" He answered, irritated. "We decided *together* that it was not the time or place to start a relationship, but we keep on doing it!" "Scully.." "You don't remember, do you?" "Remember what?" She tried not to falter this time. He deserved the truth. He deserved to know her dirty little secret, even if it meant losing him forever. She couldn't keep it to herself any longer. "The night your father died, you came here. You were drugged and I let you sleep in my bed. When I tried to help you take some medication, you reacted to me..you became aroused and I must admit..that I did too." She stopped to gather her courage and went on: "You grabbed me and we kissed. I wasn't able to stop you." She said bluntly. He gasped at the revelation and lowered his head. "I raped you?" He whispered. She put her hand on his shoulder to get his complete attention. "No! I didn't want to stop you, Mulder. I wanted you too, I needed you and I didn't stop you. I knew you were ill and weren't really in control of your actions. I took advantage of you. I'm the *guilty* one!" This time, it was she who couldn't hold his gaze. She felt so embarrassed by her actions on that fateful night but she needed to clear the air. They needed to start over on a good basis. "I thought I'd dreamt it,"he said, dazed. "I kept on remembering making love to you in your bedroom. I thought it was just a fantasy." "It was real, Mulder, but it can't happen again." Her words hurt him deeply. He loved her so much and had fought so hard against death to come back to her. Now here they were, after her sister's death, talking about something that couldn't happen. He wanted it to happen. His spiritual journey in the Blessing Way had changed him, grounded him. He now understood how important his relationship with Scully was and that, no matter what, he would always love her. He was ready to cross the line but she wasn't. Her guilt and grief kept her from seeing that her words were causing him to become introspective. She went on with her admission. "We can't keep on using grief, sadness or any other torment as an excuse. We have to stay in control or we will go on meeting like that and regretting it the next day. I believe there will be a time for us, Mulder, when we will be able to commit to each other, to have a real romantic relationship but that time isn't now. We have to stay focused on our mission and we can't do both." She stopped when she saw him stand and put his jacket on, realising that it had been too much, too soon. The grief caused by her sister's death had rendered her too direct and she realised too late the damage she had done to Mulder's fragile psyche. "You're right, Scully. We have to stay focused. I think that by being your partner, I can cover that part of the bargain but please don't ask for more. You know how I feel. You know where I live. When you are ready. If someday you are ready.." he paused to take a deep breath "but Scully, I won't wait an eternity.." he finished, angrily. He left her in the middle of her living room, their bond severely damaged by the events of the last few days. A tear rolled down her cheek. Their friendship was in jeopardy again and she didn't know if they would ever get it back on track. She fell to her knees and began to cry in earnest, mourning not only the loss of her sister but also her friend and lover. Chapter 11 Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - October 13, 1995 Six months later, Mulder knew that his relationship with Scully was still severely damaged. He still held the hope that they would be able to mend their friendship, but he couldn't forget that *he* left Scully that fateful night in April just after her sister had died, and just after she had made her unexpected confession. Their work hadn't helped to bring them closer together. Scully was more determined to fight him on all his theories, and sometimes it really hurt that she could disregard his theories with one single word; like during the Lucy Householder case when Scully refused to believe in the possibility of a mental link between the two girls. The case had hit too close to home and he knew his judgement had been clouded, but he had felt a real empathy with Lucy and her suffering, whilst Scully had been her cold and scientific self. That hurt. He'd had a change of heart during their last case involving Kevin Kryder, who had cuts in his hands and feet. Scully had believed it was stigmata and, although he didn't share her religious beliefs, it had been the turning point. Mulder had finally realised that Scully's belief system was built on only what her world of Science and Religion had taught her, just as his own beliefs were based on his own personal experiences. They had both made mistakes but it was time to forgive and start again. He jumped when he heard a key turning in his lock. He grabbed his weapon and waited for the assailant to enter his apartment. The door opened and Scully entered. "God Mulder, you sure know how to make a girl feel special!" She snorted. "Your mother never told you to knock before entering?" He answered, putting his weapon down on the coffee table. "I did. You didn't answer. I was starting to think that you were trying to avoid me." "Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was lost in thought." His serious expression stopped her from commenting. She had come over to call a truce, deciding to use his birthday as an excuse to try to close the gap between them. She sat down on his couch and watched him; he was clearly bothered by something and she hoped that he would allow himself to open up to her and talk about it. "What's wrong, Mulder?" He raised his head and lost himself in her intoxicating blue eyes. They were the purest blue he had ever seen and, for the first time in six months, they were devoid of pain. She was moving on and he understood that it was time to move with her. "I was thinking about Kevin Kryder. I wasn't as open to extreme possibilities with his case." "I think that my Catholic background made me more empathetic to Kevin. My faith in God has molded my personality since childhood, in the same way your paranormal beliefs have for you." "I am supposed to be the one who believes in anything, but in this case I just can't. I can't believe that God would manifest himself in a child to get an evil man arrested. I can't believe because then it would mean that if someone missed the signs, evil would go on undetected. I can't accept the unfairness of that." He admitted. "Oh Mulder...It doesn't work like that. I think that God talks to us when we are too blind to see the truth. It can seem unfair, but God has His way and I don't think we're meant to understand." "How can you accept that at face value when you won't believe in the paranormal?" He said half amused. "Because it's who I am, Mulder. I don't expect you to understand my faith. I just need you to respect it as I respect your faith in your quest, in your work and in all things paranormal." He didn't know how to respond. She was right and there were no good arguments against that. He took a deep breath and prepared to broach the subject that was really bothering him most. "Scully, are we still friends?" He blurted out. She didn't answer immediately. She took her time, examining his eyes and their brightness. He was sincere, she could tell, and she needed to be truthful too. She grabbed his hand and smiled sincerely. "I am your friend if you still want me to be." "I've never had a friend like you..and I've come to realise that I can't go on without you. You are the only one who cares enough to tell me when I need to get my shit together, Scully. I've never been used to that and I'm not used to having someone care about me." His heartfelt confession touched her deeply. She knew Mulder had been burnt by previous relationships, on several occasions, and because of these experiences he was having a hard time allowing her to get too close. This knowledge only made her more determined to convince him that she belonged beside him as his friend and partner. The road wouldn't be easy but she needed to try; he was worth the effort. "Well then, you better get used to it because I plan on sticking around and kicking your ass when necessary." She paused a moment and picked up the bag she'd brought, handing him a beautifully wrapped package. She saw glee in his eyes. He was like a little kid because she had remembered his birthday and bought him a present. "Friends are here to remind you that you are growing old Mulder. 34 is a good number." "Yeah right! Oh, thanks for the present, Scully. I'm really touched." "Open it before you thank me." He tore the package open and her present brought tears to his eyes. She had given him a beautiful handmade carved picture frame. He had no idea how, but she had already placed a picture of Samantha in it. Fat tears fell on his cheeks. She took his face in both her hands and wiped the wetness away. "I wanted you to know that I believe that we will find Samantha. This frame is a reminder to both of us that we are partners, and together we will find your sister, no matter what. It's our quest now and we are in this together." "I want to believe."he whispered, before embracing her tenderly. Chapter 12 Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - January 30, 1996 Dark clouds were obscuring Mulder's and Scully's horizon once again. In the 3 months since Mulder's birthday, they had finally got their friendship back on track but, unfortunately, the respite didn't last long. The troubles began with an investigation in Comity. They had both been hurt by each other's irrational behaviour, and Mulder's flirting with Detective White had inflamed Scully's jealousy. Things got even worse on the next case. Bill Patterson asked for Mulder's help catching a serial killer. Profiling had transformed Mulder in a way that Scully had never seen and, after just one day, he closed himself off from everything and everyone and started his descent into the mind of a mad man. He didn't sleep, eat or change clothes. He was becoming the monster he was trying to capture and Scully had been very worried about it. Scully understood why he had kept his distance from her. Mulder knew what happened to him when he profiled, and didn't want to hurt her. He wanted to protect her from the madness inside him. It had been two days since she had last seen him and Scully was worried. She knew perfectly well that he wouldn't ask for her help so she decided to go to him. After waiting for a good five minutes outside his apartment for him to answer her knocks, she opened the door with her key. What she saw inside took her completely by surprise. The apartment was cleaner than she had ever seen it. The drawings had disappeared, the shades had been opened, and there wasn't a thing out of place. "Mulder?" She called. Receiving no answer, she opened the door to what she assumed was originally the bedroom, and made another important discovery: Mulder did have a bed and matching mahogany furniture. This room was clean too but there was still no trace of her partner. Listening intently, she heard the sound of water running and quickly made her way to the bathroom, images of Mulder with his veins cut open by a razor running through her mind. Fortunately, it wasn't the sight that welcomed her. He was in the shower scrubbing at his body as if nothing could ever get him clean. The hot water was hitting his already red skin full force. She had to stop him, to reassure him that he wasn't dirty. He had stopped the killer. She opened the shower curtain and shut off the water. Mulder didn't make a move to stop her, didn't even seem register her presence, he just kept on scrubbing. She grabbed a towel and tried to rouse him out of his funk, calling to him gently. "Mulder, it's me." There was no response so she started drying his back. He finally stopped his scrubbing and opened his eyes. He turned around, giving her an eyeful of his beautiful naked body. He blinked a few times before realising that it was Scully, and then reality came crashing in. He took the towel from her hand, suddenly ashamed that she had found him like that. Goosebumps were appearing on his skin, so he started to dry himself under her unrelenting scrutiny. She wouldn't let go, wouldn't let him be, until she knew for sure that he was okay. He wrapped the towel round his hips, trying to regain a little modesty, and got out of the shower stall, walking to his bedroom. She followed him, but he kept his back to her trying to block her out of his mind. "Why do you put yourself through this, Mulder?" She asked finally. He lowered his head and answered, flatly. "Because it's what I do. I'm a profiler." "And a good one. It wasn't what I asked you. Why do you have to stay alone and suffer? Why shut me out when I could help you?" "I don't want you to see me like that. I'm dangerous when I profile. It takes time after each case to get my sanity back. I don't want to hurt you." She approached him and carefully put her hand on his right shoulder. He turned around, and what she saw in his eyes shook her to the core. There was so much suffering. He believed he was a monster and not worthy of anybody's help. She decided that she would do whatever it took to convince him otherwise. He had been there for her in her darkest hours, after her ordeal with Pfaster, and now she wanted to be there for him. She engulfed him in her arms, ignoring his reluctance to make contact with her. She started to caress his back gently to give him some comfort. After a few moments he relaxed into her embrace and returned it. She continued with her caress, wanting to assure him that he wasn't dirty, that he was worth her love. They finally separated a little, still in each other's arms. His face was still bearing the strain of his latest bout of profiling. She looked him straight in the eye. "Mulder, I don't think you'd never hurt me intentionally. I know who you are. I know what lives in that heart of yours. You are just a man, with a wonderful talent; a talent that has allowed the FBI to arrest countless killers and psychopaths. You gave all you had to find the killer and you did it, Mulder. You got the bad guy. There is no doubt." He wasn't convinced that it was a gift to be able to drown in a mad man's psyche, but Scully was right; he had helped his country to get rid of evil men. He needed to keep that in mind. She indicated the bed and they sat down, hip to hip. She took his hand in hers and noticed that he was starting to warm up. He turned to her and their gazes caught, his eyes dark and full of want. He wasn't in any shape to keep a tight rein on his feelings for her. The evil was still hiding away in the depths of his soul and it would take time to get rid of the darkness. She couldn't help but be aroused by the raw hunger she saw in him. Her heart rate sped up when he lowered his mouth to hers and their lips clashed together. She opened her mouth to his insistent tongue and moaned loudly. It felt so good to kiss him again. They had resisted their mutual attraction for such a long time but it seemed that it couldn't be restrained any longer. His tongue invaded the deep recesses of her mouth, caressing her gums and her teeth. His hands started to pull at her clothing and he quickly divested her of her jacket and blouse. She let go of his mouth to pull the towel away from his hips, freeing his hard-on. He was fully erect and glistening. She took him in hand and he hissed when she started to stroke him. "Scullee..it will be over too soon if you go on that that." "You need it..you want me to get down on my knees and suck you.. you want it.." she purred, feeling bold. "No.." Before he could protest any further she knelt and engulfed him in her hot little mouth. "Yesssssss."he moaned this time. It wasn't about her, it was about Mulder. She wanted to give him this, to show him he was worth it. He needed this release, needed it to help rid himself of the darkness inside him. She tried to bury her feelings and not think about how good it was to have him in her mouth and to pleasure him that way. It was one of her wildest fantasies: taking care of a naked Mulder with her mouth while she was still half dressed. She carried on with her ministrations; in and out, in and out. She caressed his tight balls and his head started to thrash on the bed. She could feel him getting closer to release and she sped up her movements. His moans increased in volume until he came in her mouth. She kept him inside until he was spent, then gently sucked and licked him clean. When she released him, he was back to half mast already. She stood and watched Mulder lying on the bed trying to remember how to breathe. She lay down next to him, kissed his brow gently, and caressed his cheek with tenderness. With these simple gestures, she was trying to convey to him that they didn't have to regret what had just happened. She didn't want to. She knew that it was just a matter of time now before they would be in sync with each other and able to admit their feelings freely. She felt it deep down in her soul. They were both healing and once the healing was done, they might finally be ready to take the next step, together. "Rest, Mulder..I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, before falling in to a deep slumber curled up against him. Chapter 13 Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - February 14, 1996 They had just got back from the cemetery. Her last sentence to him was still ringing in his head. "I think the dead are speaking to us Mulder, demanding justice. Maybe that man was right. Maybe we bury the dead alive." She had been so shaken by the fact that Melissa's murderer would never be brought to justice. Justice was important to her and he could understand that she, and her family, would never be able to find closure for Missy's murder because the culprit would never be punished in the eyes of the law. It was Valentine's Day and he had made a reservation in a romantic Italian restaurant near her apartment. He had planned to take her on their first real date on this special day, a day meant for lovers, but he wasn't sure that she was in the mood for a romantic and carefree dinner with her best friend. Their relationship was slowly changing. After his horrible descent into the soul of a mad man, they had embarked on what others would call a sexual encounter but, to Mulder, was more than that. She had shown him that he was worth loving and that she was ready to move their relationship forward. For once, they didn't delude themselves by pretending it never happened. There was no room for regret this time, and they had fallen asleep together afterwards. When he woke up alone, he found a note telling him that she'd be back with breakfast and to wait for her. Now, two weeks later, their relationship was still comfortable. Mulder smiled, thinking about how he would never have imagined that a blow job would have jumpstarted their rocky relationship. As yet, they hadn't resumed their physical relationship; there seemed to be an unspoken agreement to take things slowly. They were doing more non-work things together, going to the movies, having dinner. If someone had told him that he we was going to be dating like a teenager again he would have laughed, but he was loving every minute of it. He joined her in the kitchen, where she was meant to be making tea. She was gripping the kitchen counter and her shoulders were shaking. He went to her immediately and engulfed her in his arms, from behind. She let go of the counter, turned around, and buried her face in his chest. She cried silently while he rocked her. He was searching for words to comfort her but he knew that there was nothing that could take away the pain and the grief, except punishing Missy's murderer. As he stood holding her in his arms, while she shed her tears, it suddenly hit him how big a step they had actually taken. Scully was letting him in, allowing him to see her pain. She no longer tried to hide or to deflect his help with her usual "I'm fine". He caressed her back slowly, trying to calm her the only way he knew how. Her sobs calmed down and she sniffed loudly, raising her tearful face to his. He wiped the wetness from her cheeks and kissed her eyelids, gently. "Feeling any better, now?" She nodded, not trusting her voice to answer. Crying did help her. She needed to let go of the grief that overwhelmed her after discovering that there would never be a court case. He steered her to the living room and they sat down together on the white and blue striped couch that held the memory of their first time. He remained silent while Scully got her bearings back. "I miss her so much," she whispered. "I know but she is still in your heart and in your memories. I'm sure Melissa is watching over you," he answered. "She would have loved to hear you say that. She believed in almost everything. You remind me of her sometimes." She smiled. "She didn't think so. She thought I was pathetic and heartless." "Missy saw right through us. She knew that something had happened between us and confronted me after I left the hospital." "What did you say to her?" "I told her the truth." He gasped. He was sure that she had never confided in anyone. He had been so wrong. Her bond with Melissa had been far tighter that he had thought. The two sisters had been confidants. No wonder Scully had been so closed off after Melissa's death, she must have felt truly alone for the first time. That explained why she'd rejected him when he had attempted to comfort her, she hadn't wanted to lose the only friend she still had left. "What did she say?" "You really want to know?" "Yes." "She said that we were meant for each other. She asked me to believe in her and that auras never lied." "Wow!" "I didn't believe her, Mulder. I was sure we were doomed to fail. I was still recovering and couldn't remember what had happened to me. I should have believed her. She was right, we are meant to be." She admitted with conviction. It was an admission he would never forget for as long as he lived. She was accepting the fact that they should be together in a personal relationship. It would never be easy, their work would always be in the way, but it was worth a try and he was determined to make it work. She was waiting for his reaction. She knew that her admission was starting to penetrate his mind. She was ready to take the next step. Her sister had never had the chance to meet the man of her dreams, and Scully didn't want to die without knowing love, her true love. She smiled at him and realised that for the first time since losing Melissa she felt at peace. Accepting the truth about Mulder and herself was a tribute to Melissa's beliefs and would be the only justice she would ever get. Mulder broke her from her deep thoughts by asking: "Would you like to have dinner with me?" "I didn't have the chance to go grocery shopping." she stated. "Do you know what day it is?" She was puzzled now and tried to work it out: It wasn't an anniversary, it wasn't his birthday, it wasn't hers. Then it hit her and she blushed. He registered her reaction and looked at her smugly. "You actually remembered Valentine's Day, Mulder? I am impressed." "I made reservations," he said, assuming a false hurt look. "There's hope after all." "So what do you say to you and me eating some of Italy's finest dishes?" "It's an offer I can't refuse..." "So you'll be my Valentine?" "Always." She answered tenderly. Chapter 14 Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - March 5, 1996 Mulder and Scully had just closed a case in rural Idaho. Accepting the case hadn't been Scully's idea, but she had needed to get Mulder out of his newest guilt trip. She agreed to go with him to check out the disappearance of several cows, hoping that it would cheer him up. It hadn't worked. Mulder hadn't cheered up. He was still brooding over his actions whilst under Modell's mental influence. He'd had her at gun point for a moment in that dreadful hospital room and he couldn't forgive himself for that. He had kept his distance from her since the incident two weeks ago and she missed his embrace, his tender kisses, and even his jokes. She missed him. Tomorrow, they would celebrate their fourth year as partners and she had hoped that they could take another step in their personal relationship. She felt ready, more than ready. The truth was that she had been feeling horny since their romantic dinner on Valentine's Day. He had been the perfect gentleman, taking her back home and kissing her tenderly on the lips before saying goodnight and going back to his dark and lonely apartment. The atmosphere between them was becoming electric and sexually charged, and she knew that they needed to do something before they imploded from it. Upon returning home from the case, she had soaked in a bubble bath and changed into her blue silk pj's. She was now sitting comfortably on her bed, reading a medical journal, while waiting for Mulder. He was out hunting for their dinner at the nearest Chinese restaurant. She planned to seduce him tonight and hoped he was in good shape because there wouldn't be much sleep involved in this bed tonight. He knocked at the door, not daring to enter without being invited. She rolled her eyes at his manners. He could be as cute as he was irritating sometimes. "It's open, Mulder!" He entered the apartment, his hands full of Chinese take-out. He put all the containers on the coffee table and pulled his leather jacket off. He had changed into jeans and tee shirt. He always wore casual clothes when they were off the clock and she'd come to appreciate it because it meant that he wasn't trying to act differently now that they were closer. She got off the bed and joined him in the living room. He turned to her and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, which were still full of pain and guilt. The look on her face when he had pointed his gun at her would be ingrained in his memory for as long as he would live. It was a living nightmare for him and he couldn't get away from the fact that he could have killed her. She wanted to erase the painful memories. She cradled his cheeks between her hands and lowered his head to hers. She kissed him gently, then released his lips and looked him straight in his hazel eyes. "I'm alive, Mulder. You didn't pull the trigger." He closed his eyes, the scene replaying itself in slow motion. Modell was in his head, pushing him. "Come on. Pull the trigger, Mulder. She shot you, I read it in her files. Payback time... shoot the little spy!." He could still hear the mantra. He could still see the tears running down Scully's cheeks. "You were afraid of me.. you were crying," he whispered. "I cried because of what he was doing to you Mulder. I didn't fear for myself. I was afraid for *you*." She admitted. He opened his eyes and tried to read her expression. She was telling the truth. During the confrontation, she hadn't thought about herself or the possibility that he could pull the trigger and kill her. She was only thinking about his life and the nagging fear that Modell would succeed in coercing Mulder to use his weapon against himself. She had been in hell during that time, trying to find a way to save him from the mad man inside his head. "Scully, I was about to *kill* you and you were worried about me?" "I knew you couldn't shoot me. You fought against it with all your might. You didn't fight it when you pointed your gun at your own temple, you didn't flinch, it was like you felt nothing. I was terrified Mulder." "I was too. I still am." He admitted. "I would have killed myself without blinking if it meant you would be safe." "I know and I would have done the same." She embraced him and held him tight against her, listening to his breathing and to his heartbeat. She had been taken aback by the fact that he'd been able to put a gun to his own head and pull the trigger. She suspected that he had previously tried to put an end to his own misery because the gesture had seemed to come easily to him. They stayed entwined for a while, taking solace in each other's arms. He was rocking her gently, kissing her hair and holding her tight. She was his rock. Her strength gave him the courage to fight the monsters and to go on searching for his little sister. She gave him the strength to believe that he could somehow grab some happiness for himself. They separated when she felt he was relaxed enough to be let go. He smiled at her, his eyes shining with love and gratitude. They sat down in sync on her couch and dug into the various containers. Their dinner was spent in comfortable silence and in feeding each other pieces of chicken and rice, the playfulness relaxing Mulder. He wasn't thinking about Modell anymore, only about Scully's delicious mouth. It was delightful to watch her suck the pieces of meat and moan while munching slowly on it. This woman was a tease and he suspected that she had something planned for both of them tonight. He wasn't sure if it wasn't too much too soon. They needed to tread lightly and ensure that each step they took still enabled them to keep their personal and professional lives separate. He didn't want to fail in loving Scully. He knew that she was the one and only and he wanted to court her. He wanted a normal life for them because their job never gave them that. He wanted to make out like teenagers on her couch, in the car, in the theatre. Scully seemed ready to bed him tonight and she was making him hornier than he ever thought possible. She put the food down and straddled his lap, giving him an eyeful of her cleavage. She was flushed and breathing quickly. "Scully..what are you doing?" he asked dumbly. "I must not be doing it correctly if you have to ask," she purred, while starting to rub her core against his erection. He was already at half mast and if she carried on he would soon sport a hard-on the size of California. Her nipples were erect, her panties were soaking wet, and she felt her labia starting to swell. "Sculleee..what became of taking it slow?" he hissed, trying to deflect her from her goal. "Four years is enough. I flushed the "slow part" this morning with my doubts and my insecurities. I love you, Mulder and I want you. There will never be a more perfect moment.. I don't want to wait." She stopped moving and watched his reactions. He was gaping at her revelation. She was in love with him and she wasn't planning to wait forever to have him. His eyes filled with tears and he smiled lovingly at her. "I love you too, Scully..love you so much it hurts sometimes, but I want to give you a normal relationship with dates, stolen kisses in a dark corner at work, and make out sessions. Then I want to sweep you off your feet and make sweet love to you after a romantic candlelit dinner.." She put a finger to his lips to hush him. "You're the sweetest man I've ever met, but I don't need all that to know that you care for me. We'll do normal things like kissing in dark corners or maybe a quickie in the basement, kissing in the car, making out.." He gasped, imagining Scully lying down on his desk, her skirt bunched up to her waist and without panties. She had won. He didn't want to wait anymore if it meant he could ravish her in the basement! She was starting to savour her victory when his cellphone rang, instantly killing the mood. They knew that it meant work and that their evening was finished. He smiled regretfully and kissed her on the mouth whispering "raincheck" before answering. She watched him speak to their AD, his playfulness slowly fading to give way to Agent Mulder. Their evening was definitely over and she donned her Agent Scully persona in place of Dana, the lover. Chapter 15 Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - March 15, 1996 Mulder was nervously checking his bedroom one last time. Scully was taking a well earned shower after spending eight hours straight on a stakeout. AD Skinner had saved them from another day in a car by ordering them to take some mandatory downtime, so they officially had three days for themselves and headed straight to his apartment. Since their evening at Scully's apartment, ten days ago, they hadn't had a moment for themselves. They'd had back-to-back cases; saving Skinner's ass from being accused of a prostitute's murder, fighting wildcats in a sewer, the sale of human organs in Chinatown, and being stranded on a rock while searching for Big Blue in Heuvelmans Lake. Two days ago, they had been requisitioned by the VCU to watch a building where a convicted murderer may be hiding. Their stakeout had produced nothing and they were feeling frustrated. They needed to spend some quality time together and to resume their relationship where they had left off ten days ago. They were both on the edge with horniness. Their bodies needed release. Their hearts wanted love. They headed straight to Mulder's apartment just after Skinner's assistant, Kimberly Cook, had called them and told them to stop working, effective immediately. Scully had run to the bathroom to have her shower while Mulder straightened out his bedroom. He had changed the bedclothes and put away the laundry baskets. He had gotten rid of his suit, his dress shirt and his boxers and was now naked as the day he was born. He went to the bathroom door and opened it. She was still in the shower and he didn't hesitate in joining her. She turned around and smiled seductively at him. "What took you so long?" she purred "I was going to start without you." Her hands travelled from her chest to her belly. He couldn't speak, taken under her spell. She was beautiful; her breasts were full and high on her chest; her erect nipples begging to be fondled. He lowered his hungry eyes to the thick patch of red curls at the apex of her thighs. He'd never had the opportunity to return the great oral session she gave him after his encounter with Patterson and he thought that today was the day. His penis, already at half mast when he entered the shower stall, was now at full glory and poking at her belly. He caught her hand and stopped her from touching herself, encircling her in his arms and lowering his mouth to hers. There was nothing chaste in this kiss. Their tongues clashed in a battle for control. They sucked, nipped and kissed for a long, leisurely time while their bodies rubbed against each other's, inflaming their already on edge senses. He released her mouth to catch his breath and observe her aroused face. It was the sexiest sight he had ever seen. She was flushed and her pupils were dilated. The water was cascading over her and she was like a water goddess, coming out from under a waterfall. He reached behind her to shut off the tap and then helped her out. They dried themselves quickly and left the bathroom. They felt as if time had stopped just to give them the chance to resume their relationship. They had admitted their love for each other, and now it was time to act on their feelings by the merging of their bodies. The morning sun was softly filtering through the blind. They could hear the hum of the traffic, people going to work as usual. The world was still turning on its axis and it wouldn't change if Mulder and Scully took the final step to intimacy. He knelt before her and she sat down on the bed, opening her legs, inviting him to make her his. He kissed a path from her neck to her breasts. He stopped and took one engorged nipple in his mouth and sucked at it. She put her hands in his silky brown hair and her head fell back on her shoulders from pleasure. He alternated between the two erect nipples, taking his time pleasuring each of them. Then he travelled down to her red curls. Her legs were wide open and he could see the wetness gushing from her. She was aroused and moaning from anticipation. She knew what came next and her body was reacting accordingly. He slowly inched his mouth toward his ultimate goal but changed angle at the last second, kissing the inside of her thighs. She moaned loudly, aroused and frustrated at the same time. She needed his tongue on her and he was maddeningly touching her everywhere but where she wanted him the most. He dipped his fingers into her, then brought them to his mouth,humming at the tanginess of her essence. It was more than she could bear and she pleaded: "Please, Mulder." He lowered his mouth between her curls and, after waiting for what seemed the longest second ever, lapped at her clit, making her purr like a satisfied kitten. He took the little bud between his lips and sucked hard. She fell back onto the bed, unable to sit up. She thrashed wildly when two fingers entered her and started to thrust in and out, building a rhythm while he went on lapping, sucking and nipping at her clit. "Yessss," she moaned. She was soon on the brink of orgasm and couldn't keep herself from thrashing, her breathing totally erratic. "Mulderrrr..Yessss!" She cried out as she came. Her muscles tightened around his fingers and her clit pulsed. He pulled his fingers out and gave a last sweep of her nub with his tongue, then lay down next to her on the bed. Her eyes were closed and she was flying through clouds of pleasure. He thought she was magnificent in the afterglow of her release. He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, and her cheeks softly, creating a path to her lips. Their mouths joined once again gently, taking their own sweet time. The evidence of his arousal was still poking at her thigh but he was in no hurry. He had given her the pleasure he wanted her to feel and his own release could wait. She came back to her senses and opened her eyes. They were the clearest blue, bluer than the sky. He wanted to drown in their depths, but his lover wasn't ready to let him become all poetic on her. She reached over and wrapped the silky skin of his erection in her hand, stroking lightly, pleased to have had such an effect on him. He didn't think twice. He covered her body with his and she cradled him between her legs. "I love you," he whispered, his erection nudging at her entrance. "I love you too," she answered, shifting her hips and letting him slide home. There were no more words to be said. He started to move inside her, gently thrusting, building a rhythm, but he couldn't hold back any more and soon they were moving erratically against each other, their skin slippery from the exertion. Their motion became frantic and he slammed into her for all he was worth. He couldn't hold his release any longer and could tell she was ready too. They came together loudly, both falling into ecstasy. Time had slowed down for the two lovers, affording them well deserved downtime. They fell asleep still entwined in each others arms. There would be days when it would be hard to reach this level of happiness again but, for the moment at hand, they were hidden from the dangers of their jobs and from the men who would probably use their love against them. Chapter 16 Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - March 15, 1996 They had slept most of the morning and Scully was basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. She was happy and sighed contently, lying back on Mulder's chest, listening to his heartbeat. She knew that he was awake too, enjoying their peaceful day. "You are amazing," she purred. He didn't answer her praise, but kissed her hair softly while he caressed her back with his fingertips, creating goosebumps in passing. It felt right to be here together. They had suffered enough already by repressing their feelings for each other. They'd had accidental encounters in the past, starting one hopeless night in her apartment when they both found solace in lovemaking for a moment. It hadn't been the right time and they'd agreed to forget it. Now the time was right to hold the woman he loved in his arms, and things couldn't get any better. They were safe and protected in the cocoon of their love. But the happiness she felt couldn't last long. She couldn't help but worry, and she was trying to gather her thoughts, to explain to him her fears without hurting his feelings. Their relationship couldn't be public. She knew that they had to be really careful; it was still too soon for them to throw caution to the wind. "Mulder?" she asked, feeling awkward calling him by his last name in bed, but she couldn't see herself calling him Fox either. "Yeah." "I don't know how to tell you this without making you angry." She hesitated. His hands stilled on her back and his heartbeat quickened. He was almost certain that this was the part where she told him it was a mistake but they could stay good friends. He had been a fool to believe it would ever change between them. She felt the change in him as his body tensed in her arms and she decided to take the plunge for both their sakes. They had to move on and they couldn't if she kept something from him. She raised her head to look into his eyes, to see what her body told her he felt. She couldn't bear to see the insecurity reflected in his gaze. "I do love you; I want you to be sure of that." She stated. He nodded, not trusting his voice, and waited for the final blow. "But we have to be really careful and not let anybody in on our secret..I don't want our relationship used against us more that it has been." He felt relieved all of a sudden. She didn't want out; she just wanted their relationship to be kept private. She was afraid for both of them and he couldn't say that he blamed her, but they were already on the spot. Their enemies knew what was going on between them and didn't need any confirmation that they now shared an intimate relationship. They had to stay careful but he didn't want them to have to meet in secret and stay guarded all the time. He wouldn't advertise the turn their friendship had taken, but neither would he hide what he felt for her. "We can't hide because They already know. They abducted you because They knew, before we even realised that we loved each other, that it was more than friendship. I don't want to live in secret. We can be discreet, we have to because of the FBI regulations, but that's it. I won't hide what I feel for you. I can't do it anymore," he told her fiercely. "Mulder..it's not that I want to hide you..I want to be able to tell everybody that I'm in love with you..I want to be with you..I love you," she whispered against his chest. "I know, baby, I know. I want to be with you any chance we get. Every night after work, after finishing a case, in the car, on the plane and maybe..in the basement, on my desk," he said seductively, starting to caress her back again and lightening the conversation. His penis was in full bloom against her belly and she couldn't help but rub her body against it. Her nipples hardened at the intimate contact and she raised her mouth to his. The serious topics would have to wait, their bodies were hungry. She barely brushed her lips to his at first, but it wasn't enough. She darted her tongue into his mouth and explored deeper and deeper while his hands caressed her ass, her back and the sides of her breasts. They both moaned loudly at the same time. They changed position so that they were both on their sides, facing each other. Their mouths separated and Mulder touched her bruised lips with his thumb. She caught the digit in her mouth and sucked hard, making his silken arousal even harder. She sucked at each of his fingers before letting him go. He trailed his fingers down her neck, between her breasts, teasing the tight nipples in passing with his wet fingers, but he didn't pause there. He was a man on a mission and he wouldn't be deterred. He reached the apex of her thighs and teased her swollen clitoris without preamble. She was so wet and so ready for him. He started to circle the little knot of nerves with the tip of his fingers, keeping the caress light and soft. She obviously needed more because she arched her back to reach his hand more fully. She leaned into the crook of his neck and alternated open mouthed kisses with light nibbles that made him groan. Her right hand travelled to his engorged hard-on and she squeezed him before stroking him from tip to base. It was already too much for him so he rolled her onto her back. He slid his finger out of her wet core and propped himself up above her with his hands on either side of her head. He paused, observing her with eyes that were dark with arousal. He gazed into her baby blues and read there the endless love she felt for him. Then he nudged her thighs further apart and dipped the tip of his penis into her warm core, just teasing her. She was having none of that and moved her hips forward so he plunged home. "Yesssssss," she moaned, enjoying the feeling of his hard length embedded to the hilt. He didn't move immediately, trying to calm himself. He was on the verge of coming and he wanted it to be good for her. He lowered his mouth to her collarbone and kissed, nipped and sucked the soft skin there. She touched his silky hair, trying to help him calm down. Even in bed, they were reaching an incredible understanding. Their minds, bodies and souls were in perfect sync. She was throbbing, needing him to start moving, but she would wait until his laboured breathing slowed down and his arousal reached a plateau so he didn't embarrass himself. He stopped kissing her and began the slow dance of hips and thrusts. He loved her gently and slowly but she needed more. She tightened her muscles to pull him further inside and started a counter movement to hit his pelvis at each thrust. He quickened his pace and began a steady rhythm: in, out, in, out, in, out. They moved together effortlessly. He knew instinctively what she needed to reach her peak. Nobody had ever known her so completely, so thoroughly. She had bared her inner and intimate self to this man and she felt free. Free from the rigid education her Catholic parents imposed on her, free from the no-nonsense Agent Scully persona, free to be Dana in Mulder's muscular arms, and free to lose control in order to feel complete. Mulder came inside her when her muscles spasmed around him. They surrendered to the wave of heat that enveloped them and rode it out until their shuddering muscles slowed down. They were both breathless and sweaty. They exchanged tender kisses and whispered sweet nothings while their heartbeats slowed down. Their drowsy eyes met and they smiled at each other, basking in a moment of pure happiness. They would decide on ground rules later but now, just now, there was nothing more than two hearts beating in sync and two lovers who had found solace in each other's arms. They fell asleep again, heavy limbs entwined and fears put to rest. Chapter 17 Scully's Motel Room - Home, Pennsylvania -July 10, 1996 Scully was watching the stars from her motel room window. Mulder was sound asleep in the queen sized bed and she didn't want to wake him with her insomnia. The last few months had been eventful both in their professional and personal lives. It had begun with her bout of paranoia in Braddock Heights that tested their boundaries. She had accused him of being with Them and being responsible for her abduction, and it had taken her days to forgive herself. She had disappeared without trace and the police had found a body matching her description. He'd had to go through an ID procedure at the morgue because he hadn't known her whereabouts. It had been, so far, his worst experience after her abduction. Thankfully, it hadn't been her on the slab and he'd finally found her at her mother's. She'd been hysterical and it had taken all of Maggie Scully's powers of persuasion to keep her from firing at him before she collapsed on her mother's floor. He had held her for hours after she had been admitted to the hospital and he had wept silently in her arms. He had been so scared of losing her forever. They had spent a week recovering in her apartment and had loved each other like there was no tomorrow. Their lovemaking had been tender and wild at the same time, the result being that their relationship was stronger than ever. They had kept their involvement under wraps. Mrs Scully hadn't been told of their sweet secret but she had guessed. Scully was sure of it; her mother had dropped so many hints to get her to talk when she was in the hospital. They couldn't confide in their families. It was too dangerous, so they had stayed low profile since March. After dealing with Scully's bout of paranoia, Mulder received another blow when his mom had a stroke. He had discovered that she knew their nemesis, the smoking man He had also found his sister's clone in a field in Canada, raising honeybees. He hadn't been able to get proof of what he'd found there and, as usual, they were left with nothing. Nonetheless, his mom made a miraculous recovery that no one was able to explain. He had lost an informant during that case but found another one, a blond UN representative with legs to her throat. Scully couldn't help but be jealous of the tall, blond, busty new informant. Their last case had been excruciating. The three Peacock brothers having an incestuous relationship with their mother, and the old woman having babies with multiple defects, had left her in a reflective mood. "I never saw you as a mother before," Mulder had said and it had haunted her since. She had nightmares when she saw herself giving birth to a baby so little that it couldn't possibly live. Each time the nightmare was more detailed and she knew that it was a little girl. She was strapped to a metal slab and the worst aspect was that the Cigarette Smoking Man was in the delivery room. It felt so real that it chilled her to the bone. This nightmare was of the same kind she'd had after her abduction and she couldn't help but think that it could really have happened during that time. She was sure she would have remembered being pregnant, but it kept nagging at her. She wanted to have a baby. The idea was growing more and more inside her head. She loved to think about a little redheaded girl with hazel eyes or a boy with brown hair and blue eyes. She knew that it was just wishful thinking for the moment because their lives were too dangerous to bring a child into the equation, but her biological clock was ticking. She would love to have her belly swollen with a little Mulder growing inside. She sighed and turned around to find herself wrapped in two strong warm arms. Mulder always knew when she wasn't asleep. It was like a sixth sense. She let herself relax against his chest. "What are you thinking?" he asked, a bit worried. "I was just rambling, nothing important." He released her a bit so he could see her eyes. Her eyes couldn't lie to him. He saw her inner turmoil and wanted to know what was really bothering her. She hadn't slept a whole night since they had arrived in Home. "It is important if you can't sleep because of it. You know you can tell me anything," he pleaded. She grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. They sat down side by side and she breathed deeply, trying to organise her thoughts. "I was thinking about what you said to me the other day, about never seeing me as a mother before. I never realised how much I'd love to have a family of my own. I never saw myself as a mother either until.." she hesitated. "Until we got together?" She nodded, her blue eyes shining. He cradled her face in his hands and gazed into the deep blue pool of her eyes. "I've thought about it too. I realised when we were talking that day that you were the mother of my future children, a boy and a girl who will be the perfect combination of each of us. If you were afraid that I didn't want to start a family, it's not the case. I hold the hope that one day we will stop living in secrecy, marry and have our own kids," he whispered. Two fat tears escaped her eyes and she smiled at him. He wanted to build something with her. He was just as involved as she was in their relationships and wanted to commit. God only knew he hadn't had a great example with his dysfunctional family. "Do you know how much I love you?" she said before capturing his lips and kissing him gently, softly. "I kind of remember you saying exactly that," he answered when their mouths parted. " but you didn't show me," he added, waggling his eyebrows. "You are incorrigible," she told him, tears still in her eyes. There was still something she needed to tell him, but she didn't know how to confess that she saw the Cigarette Smoking Man in her nightmare, while she was delivering. "There's still something bothering you, isn't there?" She nodded and decided to get it over with. "I have this recurring nightmare about giving birth to a baby, so little that I can't believe it could live, and the Cigarette Smoking Man is in the room..he's smiling this sadistic little smile. My arms and legs are strapped to a slab, and I think it may be a memory of my abduction." "A baby, Scully? You think they experimented on you like that?" "Yes. I wasn't pregnant when I was kidnapped, Mulder!" "Are you sure? We were hardly very careful," he said angrily, standing and pacing the room. "Do you think there wouldn't be any proof of that? Do you remember that I had an appointment with my friend Casey Faulkner the day I was abducted? I've contacted her and she said that I was just down with flu. Do you think that she would lie to me? Do you think *I*would lie to you?" she said tearfully. She lowered her head and cried silently. She was so vulnerable at the moment and she didn't need him to accuse her of lying. He looked at her. Of course, she had checked with her friend. She'd had nightmares for two years and he needed to know when the baby had started to appear in them.. He calmed down and knelt before her, raising her head with a finger under her chin. "I trust you Scully. It's just that we didn't use anything that night in your apartment. I believe you, baby." She let him hold her in his arms. Mulder wasn't the kind to apologize but he had done just that with simple words like trust and believe. Two words that meant everything to him. "We have to find out what they did to you. If that son of a bitch experimented on you like that, I'll kill him with my bare hands, I swear to you." He added fiercely, tightening his embrace. She didn't answer. She knew that Mulder would try to find out what had happened to her but did she want him to? Was she strong enough to learn about the experimentation? She wasn't sure of anything except that Mulder would protect her and love her no matter what. It was a relief to try to overcome her fear with the man she loved at her side. They finally lay down on the bed and she was able to sleep a little. The nightmares stayed at bay but they both knew that it wasn't over. The truth was still out there. Chapter 18 Dana Scully's Apartment Building - Georgetown - October 4, 1996 Mulder was hesitant to knock on Scully's door. They were just back from Apison and the whole soul mate fiasco had worn them out and endangered their personal relationship. He had been taken in by the hypno-regression and had believed that Melissa Riedel was his soul mate, his one and only, and that Scully had always been his faithful sidekick. At the time, it had seemed so real that he hadn't realised how much he had hurt the woman who shared his life's work and owned his heart. They hadn't spoken on the plane back to Washington. Scully had faked sleep just to avoid talking about what Mulder thought was the truth, and now that he'd had time to reflect on his beliefs, he knew that Dana Scully was his soul mate and there never had been anyone else. There never would. He just had to convince her that he had made a big mistake. It wouldn't be easy because she was angry with him. She had been angry from the beginning of the case and they hadn't even shared a bed during the five days the investigation lasted. She had given him the silent treatment, which meant that she was trying to sort out her feelings. It wasn't really a good sign but he hoped that she wouldn't throw him out before he had time to explain himself. He braced himself for what was to come and knocked, not daring to surprise her by using his key. Inside Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown Scully knew that it was him before he even knocked. She had spotted his car half an hour ago, parked in front of her building. She had observed him trying to gather the courage to come to her door. She had secretly hoped that he would turn back and return to his apartment, avoiding the fight that was coming. She wasn't ready to face him yet. She had turned the last few days' events over in her head a thousand times. She had seen him with that woman and she had felt the burning sensation of jealousy getting to her. So Melissa was his soul mate and she was his friend, eternal second best? She couldn't be happy with just being friends. She was in love with him and she needed his frankness and his undivided attention. If he thought that Melissa had been the one and only, she would just have to let him go and free him from what he thought he was feeling for the living and breathing Dana Scully. She wiped the residual tears from her face and opened the door. He was wearing his lost little boy look but she refused to fall for that. She was angry and she would stay that way. He watched her petite figure, clad in her comfy white bathrobe, her eyes red from crying, and he realised that the damage done in Apison was greater than he'd thought. "Hi," he said, entering the living room. She closed the door and joined him next to the couch, neither of them sitting. The tension between them was palpable. She crossed her arms protectively over her chest and waited. She wouldn't start the conversation; he had to take the first step. She was boiling inside. "Scully, about Apison, I'm.." he tried. "Don't you dare say you are sorry, Mulder. You're always so quick to say you're sorry. Do you even know what being sorry is?!" she cried out. "Jesus, what the hell do you want from me, Scully?" He asked angrily. "What do I want, Mulder? Honesty, trust..something that you've asked from me but never considered giving back! You believe that Melissa Riedel is your soul mate? Okay, fine. What about me? I don't want to be second best, Mulder!" she said harshly, her eyes sending daggers. "You aren't second best! I love you, Scully, more than I'm able to express or show. I let myself get carried away during the case. Melissa was a lost soul and maybe I just wanted to save her." Scully didn't want to believe that he just pitied the young woman. She was blinded by her anger and her jealousy. She couldn't accept that Mulder had believed that she wasn't his soul mate, the second half of a whole. She had been embarrassed in front of the therapist, Melissa, and even Walter Skinner and that wouldn't go away quickly. "That's bullshit! She was clearly your type, brunette with long legs and big breasts. What if she was still alive? Have you thought about that?" "It wouldn't have changed anything. I love*you*. And I don't have a type!" He added, trying to contain his anger at seeing her so jealous. "You have got a type! I've seen my share of your ex girlfriends." The argument stopped momentarily. They stood staring at each other like two fighters ready to pounce. Their relationship had never been easy, and they were conscious that the Apison case could mean the end. It was the first time that their work had become mixed with their personal life and it had hurt. Something had to give so she surrendered and spoke, calmer than before. "Mulder, I need you to think about us. I want you to be sure that you aren't making a mistake by being with me. I want you to feel committed. We can't go on like this. I love you, Mulder and I have no doubt about you being the one but if you aren't sure of yourself, then it's better that we stop before we hurt each other deeply." "What do you want from me? I'm in love with you. I breathe for you. How can you doubt me?" he defended himself. "Because yesterday, you were sure that Melissa Riedel was your soul mate. I can't live knowing that you can have a change of heart faster than I can blink. I can't," she admitted with tears in her eyes. "What are you saying exactly?" he asked with a lump in his throat, grabbing at straws. She approached him for the first time since he had entered the apartment. She put one hand on his arm and watched him, boring a hole in his soul. "We have to put some distance between us, to reflect, to be sure that we still want to do this. We need to save what can be saved, Mulder. I still love you. I'll love you until the end of my life.." I love you too and I'll never be able to stop," he whispered. "I don't want to stop either but maybe we aren't meant to be. We have to take a breather and make the right decision. We owe it to ourselves." The dam broke and tears rolled down her face. "Please, Scully, don't leave me.." he pleaded, crying too. "I won't leave you..I promise. I'll always be your friend. You can trust me on this. I just don't know if our bond is strong enough..give us a chance, Mulder and give us time to heal, to get back on track. Please." He lowered his forehead to hers and closed his eyes while he held her, maybe for the last time as her lover. He had made the mistake of believing that Scully could forgive him for accepting that Melissa Riedel was his long lost soul mate. Scully wasn't just his friend or his partner, she was his lover and he had forgotten the part she played in his life. Now it might cost him the only meaningful relationship of his adult life. They parted reluctantly. He kissed the corner of her mouth softly and left quietly, to give them time to repair the damage done in a field in Apison. He didn't see Scully slide to the floor and sob loudly. It may be a necessary step to take but it was a difficult and hurtful one. She cried herself to sleep that night. The next day she would have to face him and keep her feelings locked in her heart, maybe forever. Chapter 19 X-Files Basement Office - Washington D.C. - January 5, 1997 "Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life." "Yes, but it's m.." Mulder didn't finish his sentence. Since that night in October, they'd never been able to reconnect on a personal level. They had both thought about the meaning of their personal relationship but had never had the courage to address the issue. They had stayed in limbo and grown further apart. The cases had kept them occupied a great deal. Their encounter with Krycek that led Mulder on an incredible trip to Siberia, and the whole fiasco with John Lee Roche, had been really hard on them, so it had been easy to just avoid the subject of their relationship hoping in vain that the issue would resolve itself. They still loved each other but their relationship had been compromised after the fight they'd had at Scully's apartment. From then on, the rift had widened more each day. During the Tunguska case, Scully had suspected that Mulder had slept with Marita Covarrubias in her apartment in New York. She had always despised the blond woman and had been sure that Marita would take every opportunity to get her clutches on him. Then, there had been Philadelphia and her encounter with Ed Jerse. Mulder was on forced vacation and they had fought about everything and nothing. That pissed her off no end and had been the reason she had agreed to date the man. That's why she'd drunk too much and got a tattoo. It had been childish but she'd wanted to get back at Mulder for the suffering and the loneliness. She'd felt betrayed and used, and when Ed started to put the moves on her and tried to kiss her, she'd just needed revenge. But she'd still loved Mulder and couldn't cheat on him. She wasn't the kind of woman to have a one night stand with a stranger. Mulder didn't know that Scully hadn't slept with the psychopath. He believed that he was losing her more each passing day. They hadn't spoken about their future and he feared the worst. He still wanted to be with her, to be her lover. That's why he had rejected Covarrubias' attention in New York. Back in the day, he would have been interested in a no-strings one night stand but, since Scully, he had no interest in easy and casual sex. They were in a stalemate, two warriors refusing to surrender. If it stayed this way between them forever, they could lose everything: partnership, friendship and above all, love. Mulder decided that the waiting game was over. He stood and joined Scully on the other side of the desk. He knelt before her and took her hand in his. She didn't fight him. She raised her head and their eyes met, trying to recreate the invisible link between their souls. "It's my life too," he finished in a soft tone. "You didn't act as if what we shared was important to you." "It matters to me a great deal. When I got the phone call from the hospital, I realised that I hadn't told you how much you meant to me. And now it's too late." "Why are you saying that? I've lost you already. What about Marita Covarrubias?" she said harshly. "What does she have to do with us?" he wondered, not understanding what she was getting at. "You slept with her." She said flatly. "I swear to you that I didn't sleep with her. She tried to lure me into her bedroom but I refused and slept in an armchair. Please Scully, trust me. I haven't cheated on you. I could never do that." She analysed his pleading eyes. She was expert at reading him and he wasn't trying to fool her. He was being honest and she felt ashamed for thinking that he could replace her so easily. She had been blinded by her jealousy and had hurt him with her insecurities. It was her cue to confess and try to save what she could. "I didn't sleep with Jerse," she blurted out. He released the breath he was holding. It was a relief for him to know that they weren't as damaged as he thought. There was still hope and he wouldn't let this opportunity go. He had to act. It was now or never. He had already waited too long. "I thought you had slept with him just to get at me. I'm sorry, Scully. For Philadelphia. For Apison." "I almost did it, Mulder. I was drunk and I thought for just one second that he was you. That all was right between us, but I opened my eyes and the reality hit me. He wasn't you and I couldn't cheat. We hadn't broken up. We were sorting things out. I wasn't so drunk anymore and I found the strength to say no." "He could have killed you." He said, realising how lucky she'd been that the man hadn't lost his mind at that very moment. "I know." She lowered her gaze to their entwined hands. He released her and cupped her face between his hands. They stayed face to face for a long time, the seconds ticking with each heartbeat. They reconnected instantly, their eyes conveying what they weren't able to express, the pain and the loneliness they had felt. It was time to stop being ridiculous, to act like grown ups. "Marry me, Scully," he whispered. She gasped. She hadn't expected that. She thought that he would say that he wanted to try again and lay some ground rules. She had asked for a commitment from him back in October and now he was proposing to her. Mulder wasn't a man to do things by half measures. It was all or nothing with him. She was taken aback and couldn't find a valid argument to refuse him. She wanted to be Mrs Fox Mulder and to bear his children. That was all it had been about since she had started to have her nightmares about delivering a baby, his baby. She had been afraid to lose him, to lose their dream of having a normal family. "Usually, the woman gives an answer to the man who is kneeling and proposing to her," he joked, trying to deflect the fear he felt at her possible refusal. "You didn't exactly ask the question in a conventional manner, Mulder," she said lightly, masking the turmoil inside her head. He stood and went to his desk, opened the first drawer, and took something out. She could see that he was holding a black velvet box and shivered in anticipation. It was the real thing, there was no mistake. He went to the door and locked it, then came back to her, knelt down, and took her left hand in his. "Dana Scully, will you make an honest man of me and become my wife?" The tears fell freely from her eyes. "Yes," she whispered. He opened the jewellery box and extracted the most beautiful engagement ring she had ever seen. It was a diamond solitaire mounted on a thin gold band. It was *her* engagement ring. He put it on her left ring finger. She was engaged. The dark cloud that had floated above her head for three months dissolved into thin air. He smiled the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, then lowered his mouth to her ring finger and kissed it reverently. "*You* are my soul mate Scully. There has never been anyone else. There never will be." "I *trust* you." She kissed him then, brushing her lips lightly to his before devouring him hungrily. This was their first kiss in a long time and the hunger was unbearable. Their tongues met, duelling deliciously. They were gripping at each other as if there was no tomorrow. The imperative to breath made them part and that's when they realised that they were at work, in their office. They could have been seen by anybody but it didn't matter. The world was reduced to themselves and their love. "Let's go home," she purred. "Not before being married. I won't wait another minute, Scully. I'll make love to my wife tonight." "Mulder, how do you think we can do that?" she asked, totally surprised. "It's only 10 AM. We can still find somewhere to be married." "Mulder..I'm my mom's only remaining daughter. I can't do that to her." She said, finding the only valid argument for not running to a Justice of the Peace. She wanted the whole nine yards: the dress, the church, their families and their friends. She couldn't elope. It was too important. "I promise you that we'll have the big wedding you deserve, but I don't want to wait. I want to marry you as soon as possible. It can't wait. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. Anything could happen and I don't want to live with regrets." He held her tightly against him, nipping the sensitive skin beneath her ear. She moaned. He was trying to make her crazy. They hadn't touched and made love for three long months and it was becoming impossible to ignore the fact that she was horny. He was right, they lived dangerous lives and that they could be separated by death any time. "After exchanging our vows, I'll take you to the honeymoon suite of the best hotel in town. Once there, I'll undress you slowly and kiss your body inch by inch. I'll make love to you until you can't remember who you are anymore. I'll make you moan until you have no voice left," he went on, seductively, trailing light kisses on her neck. "What about secrecy?" she retorted, feebly, becoming putty in his arms. He released her a little and kissed her lips with butterfly kisses. "Oh..we can always go to your apartment and keep it quiet..but the wedding records are public . Time to come clean . I won't hide you . " He had won. He realised it when she began to give him little kisses back and was smiling. They parted and she gazed at him, her blue eyes shining with mirth. She had been so depressed this morning when she woke up and now life was good once again. She wouldn't wait another minute. She gave him one last kiss and grabbed his hand leading him out of the office. "Eh! Where are we going?" "In Virginia there is no waiting period for a wedding license!" He laughed at the always practical Dana Scully. They were going to get married, tonight. The day couldn't have got any better unless he had managed to coerce her into a quickie in the basement just to celebrate their engagement. Chapter 20 Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - January 5, 1997 3 PM Mulder and Scully went to Arlington to get their marriage license. There was no waiting period, and no blood test required, so it was exactly what they needed. Once they had paid for the important piece of paper, they made an appointment with the Justice of the Peace at 5 PM and then they parted company so they could each do their separate preparations for the most important day of their lives. Two hours later, Scully was back at her apartment after doing some shopping in the mall. She had run to the bridal shop to get something appropriate to wear, not wanting to wear a work suit. She bought an A-line white full length slip-dress with spaghetti straps, made of organza, with lace-up in the back. She had fallen in love with it and, fortunately, it fitted perfectly, as if the dress was waiting for her. She got the matching shawl to go with it and some new white strappy shoes. Her next stop had been the Victoria Secret's store. A bride-to-be needed to wear brand new lingerie and to buy sexy nightwear too. Her credit card got a work out in this shop too. She purchased a floral and sheer white strapless merrywidow with the matching thong and stockings, to wear beneath her dress. For her wedding night, she had a hard time deciding what to get. She was about to buy a traditional silk gown when she spotted what would send Mulder's blood pressure soaring: a sheer lace teddy that was tied up with delicate silk ribbons. The piece of cloth left nothing to the imagination and she loved it at first sight. All her purchases were laid over her bed. She still was walking on air. It all seemed so unreal, but she had her engagement ring as proof that she hadn't dreamt it all together. She had to be quick if she wanted to be ready by 4.30 PM. They had agreed to meet at the courthouse, so they could respect the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding. She ran to the bathroom to take her shower and wash her hair. Fox Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - January 5th, 1997 3 PM Fox Mulder hadn't been idle since he had parted company with Scully. He also went to the mall to prepare. He went to the drycleaner to get his favourite light grey suit back for the wedding. Then he hit the jewellery store to retrieve the wedding rings he had bought several months ago. They weren't even lovers when he purchased them. He had asked the jeweller to keep them for him until he got the courage to pop the question. He was home now. His suit and white dress shirt were laid on his bed, the rings were in the jacket pocket, and it was nearly time to jump in the shower and get on with the show. But one more thing needed to be taken care of, one important thing. He wanted the day to be perfect for Scully and he knew that one more person was needed to make it perfect. He grabbed the phone and dialled a familiar number. Arlington's Justice of the Peace - January 5, 1997 4:45 PM Mulder was pacing nervously in the hallway of Arlington's courthouse. He was afraid that Scully had gotten a bad case of cold feet and changed her mind. He was fingering the rings in his pocket every few minutes. He was a mess. It wouldn't be over until the "I do's" were said and all the papers signed. Anything could happen before that. The sound of heels clicking on the marble floor warmed his heart. He would recognize her step anywhere. He stopped pacing and turned toward the sound, gasping at the beautiful sight his fiancee made. She was an angel. Her dress fit perfectly and brought out all her womanly assets. Her hair fell in wavy strands on her shoulders and she was wearing little white flowers in it. She was a goddess and her beauty made him weak at the knees. Her eyes were shining. She could see the effect she had on him and congratulated herself for her good choice of clothing. He wasn't bad either. The light grey Armani suit had always been her favourite, encasing his well toned ass perfectly. For once, he was wearing a sedate tie against his white starched shirt. He was good enough to eat and she would have fun undressing him later. She went to him and took his proffered hand in hers. They didn't have time to utter one word before a loud gasp made them jump. "Dana!" yelled a very joyful Mrs Scully, running in their direction. "Mom! How..?" Scully said, surprised to say the least at her mother's presence. Maggie embraced her daughter and kissed her cheeks. "Do you think I would have missed my baby girl's wedding, Dana?" she chastised gently. "No but.." "Fox called me earlier this afternoon to ask me to be your witness. How could I say no?" "You're not angry?" Scully asked, watching her mother's shining eyes. She was glowing. Margaret Scully had hoped that someday these two kids, as she liked to call them, would come together and eventually wed. She had suspected that they had crossed the line a while ago and she hadn't been surprised when Fox had called her with the good news. She would have preferred a Catholic wedding, but Fox had assured her that it would happen later. She understood why they didn't want to wait. Their lives had been threatened enough times for them to be aware that nothing should be taken for granted. "I'm not. I love you, Dana and I've always wanted what's best for you. Fox is the one. I've known that for a long time" She took Scully's left hand and admired the engagement ring. "I've always thought that Missy would be the first one to be married, but fate didn't allow her to meet the man she would have loved all her life. I'm glad that my only remaining daughter will know this happiness. You've got my blessing Dana and I'm sure your father would have agreed with me." Mother and daughter embraced tightly. What her mother had said about her father's blessing meant the world to Scully. Ahab and Mulder had never met and she would always regret that. Mulder was glad that he had called Maggie and told her that they were getting married. Both women deserved to be together for such an important day. He was about to join the embrace when the door of the Justice of the Peace opened and a clerk called them in. Maggie took Dana's hand and gave it to Mulder as her blessing. No more words were exchanged and they entered the office. Marrying in a courthouse wasn't as solemn as their wedding in the Church would be. The judge was seated behind his desk and his clerk stood near him. "Sit down, please," the clerk said, while the judge was reviewing the paperwork. He raised his head and smiled at the couple. "All seems to be in order. Fox, Dana, I understand that you decided to wed this morning. I just need to know that it's not a hurried decision you'll come to regret later." It was a valid question for someone who didn't know them and Mulder was ready to answer when Maggie intervened. She stood and approached the judge. "Sir, I can answer for both of them," she began, "Dana is my daughter and she has known Fox for 5 years already. There isn't a doubt in my mind about their love and their commitment to each other. They have a dangerous job and that's why they decided not to lose one more minute. They both deserve some happiness and they shouldn't have to wait when it's right." "Thank you, Mom," whispered a teary Dana Scully. "Good," said the judge, "there is just one more formality before it can be official." Scully and Mulder's hands entwined and they turned toward each other as the judge proceeded with the ceremony: "Dana Katherine Scully, do you take Fox William Mulder as your lawful husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?" "I do," she said clearly, her eyes locked with Mulder's. "Fox William Mulder, do you take Dana Katherine Scully as your lawful wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, so long as you both shall live?" "I do." Their hands parted. Mulder got the wedding rings out of his jacket pocket and the older man nodded to him. He took Scully's left hand in his and put the plain gold band next to her engagement ring. "With this ring, I make you mine. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I offer myself to you with all my faults, my strengths and my eternal love." The simple gold band fit perfectly on her ring finger and it was her turn to give him the golden circle that would make him hers. "With this ring, I make you mine Fox Mulder. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live and beyond that. I offer myself to you with all that I am, strengths and faults." Tears were falling freely on both their face and Maggie had already dissolved into tears at the first "I do." The judge proclaimed. "By the powers vested in me by the State of Virginia, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, Mr Mulder." Their lips joined in the tenderest kiss they had ever shared. They were officially husband and wife, Mr and Mrs Fox Mulder, and it felt right. They parted slowly and he lowered his forehead to her and whispered: "I love you, Dana Scully-Mulder." Chapter 21 Dana Scully-Mulder's Apartment - Georgetown - January 5, 1997 - 7 PM The newlyweds parted company with Maggie after exchanging tight hugs and tears of joy beside Scully's parked car. The car ride was spent holding hands and smiling goofily at each other. Their happiness was overflowing and they were basking in it. They parked in front of Scully's building and left the car in a hurry. They had been separated for what felt like eons and they had some urges to take care of. Quickly. However, tradition had to be respected and Mulder crossed the threshold carrying his new wife, who was giggling like a schoolgirl. It was music to his ears. She was glowing and she had never been more beautiful to him. He put her down once they were in the bedroom and admired her from head to toe. He pulled off the shawl adorning her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Their eyes were burning with arousal; their tension palpable. He approached her until their lips were an inch apart and whispered in a deep sexy voice: "You're so beautiful." Their lips met in a fiery, frenzied kiss. She moaned as his tongue traced her lips, slowly teasing her as it traced deeper and probed further into her mouth. Their tongues duelled while their hands started to tear at their clothes. Mulder's roaming hands discovered the back laces holding his wife's dress and he unlaced them with one hand, all the while caressing her body with the other. . He pulled away from her, sliding the dress' straps over shoulders and watched the light material pool at her feet. He gasped loudly at the sight. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that she would wear that kind of underwear. The white lacy merry widow was hugging her in all the right places and her breasts were pushed up, making her appear more busty than usual. The thigh- highs were an exciting added bonus and the strappy sandals completed the sexy sight. He held her tighter against him and pushed his already straining erection against her belly, letting his hands travel lower. When he met her naked rear, he gasped again. She was wearing a thong. Fantasy Scully was in his arms and she was all *his*. She took advantage of his moment of stupor to latch onto his lips again. After a mind blowing open-mouthed kiss, she trailed a path along his cheeks and down toward his neck. She quickly loosened his tie and undid the top buttons of his white shirt, kissed down his throat and nipped at his collarbone. She moaned when his hips ground into her, making her very aware of his not so little problem down south. She raised her head in time to see him dive toward her breasts. He freed them carefully from the delicate lace of her undergarment, and watched amazed as the tips immediately hardened, begging to be sucked. He couldn't resist and took one in his mouth, nipping and sucking on it while his hand took care of the other one. She felt a gush of wetness pooling down below. Reaching down, she unzipped his pants and pushed them down, then caressed his bulge through the silk of his boxer shorts. He let the nipple go with an audible pop and gently removed her hand from his groin. He pulled off his pants completely and led her to the bed where she sat down. He took care of his shirt, socks and shoes, keeping only his boxers on, then knelt before her. He lowered his head to the skin at the top of her thighs where they weren't covered by her hose, and kissed her there. She grabbed a handful of his silky brown hair and closed her eyes, becoming more aroused from feeling him so near to her wet core. He went to the apex of her thighs, lapping sensuously at her hot satiny skin. He stopped to smell her tangy flavour gathered between her legs and gave just a little flick of his tongue to the cloth recovering her small bud of pleasure. "Yessss," she hissed, moving her legs apart to give him a better access. He got her message loud and clear and pulled the thong aside, exposing her to his hungry stare. He licked his lips and then dived in. He lapped at her wetness, the pleasure making her fall backward on the bed. He sucked and tongued her labia slowly, bringing her near the edge but never letting her fall over. It quickly became too much for him. He needed to be buried deep inside her, to feel her tight muscle around him, so he gave her clit a last lick and stood up. His boxers were discarded haphazardly while she threw her thong in the general direction of the hamper. He climbed between her legs and, without preamble, entered her swiftly, filling her to the hilt. Theirs lips met again and they kissed thoroughly while he pumped into her. They were wild and uncontrollable and it wouldn't take long to reach their release. His tongue entered her mouth at the same rhythm as his cock pumped into her vagina. A whirlwind of sensation enveloped them when they came together, for the first time as husband and wife, and cried simultaneously from pleasure. This was real. They were official. The waiting was over, was what they were each thinking after coming back down to earth. They were smiling brightly, goofily, at each other, realising that they had finally made it. They were partners, friends and lovers and the world hadn't stopped moving. She took his left hand in hers and kissed his wedding ring. He was watching her and didn't miss the tears in her eyes. "What's with the tears, Scully?" "It's just that..you are my husband. You are *mine*.." she said, still in awe. "And you're *my Scully*. You always have been and you always will be." "I know and I love it. And you'll stay my Mulder, too" "Yours, forever." They kissed one more time before falling asleep in each other's arms on the rumpled bed. All would have been perfect had a feeling of suffocation not awakened her. She switched on the bedside lamp and saw that her nose was bleeding. She immediately recalled Leonard Betts' last words to her. Filled with fear and dread, she got up and rushed to the bathroom without waking her new husband. The most beautiful day of her life was over. Chapter 22 Oncology Ward, Holy Cross Memorial Hospital - Washington D.C - January 6, 1997 - 5 PM Fox Mulder paced the hallway of the oncology ward. He shouldn't be here the day after his wedding day. Scully shouldn't be inside the exam room either, but it was the sad reality. They had been at the hospital since 7:00 in the morning. She'd had several serious nosebleeds and for the first time in her life, Dana Scully panicked, calling the hospital before he was even awake. He had still been basking in newly wedded bliss when he woke and found her side of the bed empty. His joy died instantly when he found her leaning over the bathroom sink, trying to stop the bleeding as tears flooded her eyes. The honeymoon was over. When the bleeding finally stopped, they both dressed in silence, not ready to face the real issue, not ready to accept the possibilities. He drove her to the hospital where emergency tests and exams had been scheduled. He had stayed with her while a nurse drew blood but he had to leave the room while the doctors were doing an x-ray. That's why he was in the hallway, waiting for the diagnosis, hoping that it wasn't what they both feared. He clearly remembered the abducted women in Allentown. He knew about them developing brain cancer after having their microchips removed from their necks, but he still grasped at straws regarding Scully. He was the one who believed in extreme possibilities and he wanted to believe that it was nothing more than a bad migraine or something similar. He wanted to forget that they were in the oncology ward. It couldn't be cancer. His Scully couldn't die now. He couldn't accept it. A nurse came out of the room and went to him, looking at him with compassion. "You can go and join your wife in Dr Palmer's office, Mr Mulder. He'll go over her results with you both in a minute." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was time to face the music. Dr Palmer's Office, Holy Cross Memorial Hospital - Washington D.C - January 6, 1997 - 5 PM Scully was trying to gather her strength and keep control over her feelings and her growing fear. She was seated before Dr Palmer's mahogany desk, knowing perfectly well what the diagnosis would be. She had known deep down that someday it would happen, that her past, her abduction, would catch up with her when she least expected it. She had dared to hope that maybe she had escaped that particular fate and therefore avoid the illness that had plagued the abducted women of Allentown. She thought about Leonard Betts and his last dreadful words -"you've got something I need." She had been in denial since then, refusing to understand the real meaning of his words. After all, she'd had no solid proof until now. It had to happen when she was happy, when for once in her personal life her future seemed bright and full of hope. She heard the office door open and recognized Mulder's footsteps. She braced herself for what was to come. She wasn't alone in this predicament and she knew that it would hit him hard. He had already lost so many people he loved and she didn't know how much more he could take. Mulder entered the doctor's office. Scully had her back to him so he couldn't read her expression. Maybe there was no problem and she would turn to him and smile a thousand watt smile, telling him that it was just a bad infection that could be cured easily. He lost all hope when she turned around. Her face was closed off and she avoided his gaze. She was keeping a tight rein on her feelings and one look at him could crumble the facade. He sat down next to her and took her hands in his. They didn't speak because they didn't know what to say; how to start a conversation under these circumstances. He just leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She didn't respond to his gentle kiss. She stopped him before he went further, before he tried to hold her in his arms. She had to stay focused on keeping her feelings at bay. She was on the verge of bursting into tears, of letting go and expressing her rage at the unfairness of her situation. "Scully, please don't shut me out," he pleaded, afraid that once again she would go inside herself and keep him in the dark. "I couldn't bear it." Her oncologist chose this exact moment to make his entrance. His expression was grave. Mulder could have fooled himself until then but the doctor's demeanour put an end to his speculation. The conversation that followed would stay burned in his mind for the rest of his life. Doctor Edward Palmer sat down heavily at his desk. He had seen his share of tragedy in the time he had spent in oncology and he was usually able to distance himself from his patients' suffering. The couple in front of him were waiting for his diagnosis and regrettably he had to be the bearer of bad news. He knew that the woman was a doctor, specializing in pathology but a fellow doctor nonetheless. It was always harder for a doctor because they knew what they were facing and usually were able to estimate their chances. He cleared his throat, deciding to get straight to the point. "Dr Scully, I am sorry to have to tell you this but the results have come back showing that you have a nasopharyngeal mass. It's a small growth between the superior conchea and the sinoidal sinus." he said frankly. "I'm afraid you were spot on in your assessment of the situation." Mulder felt as if the earth had opened under his feet. Even though he had known there was a possibility, he wasn't ready to admit the woman he loved more than anything, had cancer. He struggled to process what the doctor was saying. All he knew was that she was going to die. Scully was staring at the doctor, unaware of Mulder's turmoil. Her control would soon fail her and she had to know everything about her prognosis first. She had to know the truth, so she donned her 'Agent Scully' persona, distancing herself from the situation at hand, treating it like a new case to be solved. "How bad is it?" she asked coolly, as if it wasn't about her. "Stage 2A. The cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes but we need a MRI to confirm the blood results and to see exactly what we're dealing with. Unfortunately, what I can tell you at this point is that due to the location of the mass it is highly improbable that surgery will be an option.. " "Stop it already!" Mulder burst in. "You're talking in riddles. Not everybody in this room is a goddamn doctor, you know. What the hell is stage 2A?" "Mulder, please. It's okay." Scully focused on him for the first time since he'd entered the room. "Jesus, Scully!" He yelled in an accusatory tone, turning toward her. "It's far from okay! How can you be so fucking calm? You've got cancer, Scully. Cancer. How the hell does that make things okay? Why are you acting so unconcerned, so goddamn detached? This is your diagnosis, your illness! It's not just another case file. Don't just accept it, Scully. Fight it." He finished in a whisper, his voice filled with pain. He lowered his head, instantly ashamed of his outburst in front of an audience. Sometimes he didn't understand Scully's reaction to personal suffering and this time it had been too much. His breathing was erratic and he was trying to stop the tears from falling. She was going to die. She was going to leave him, just like every other person he had loved. Scully waited until he calmed down. Doctor Palmer silently left the office, understanding that the couple needed to talk privately before they could continue with the discussion. It wasn't the first time he had seen such an outburst. In fact he thought it was a good thing as, once all feelings were out in the open, the patient and their family were then able to concentrate on the healing process. Scully's control failed her and she finally let the unshed tears fall freely. She talked softly to Mulder whose breathing was becoming more normal. "I'm far from calm and collected, Mulder. I'm trying to process this nightmare just like you. I need my control. It's who I am, Mulder, but it doesn't mean I don't care. How can you believe that I will just accept my fate? You want to know what I feel? It's unfair! It's so fucking unfair! I was drowning in an ocean of happiness yesterday and today I have been diagnosed with cancer. What kind of sick joke is that? I'm dying, Mulder!" Mulder raised his face and saw a different woman from the one who had listened placidly to Doctor Palmer. This Scully was crying big fat tears, looking utterly devastated. He could read the fear, the pain, and the hopelessness in this woman's eyes. He drew her into an embrace where she sobbed, letting out all her frustration and pain. He cried silently with her. They were both freeing themselves of their pent-up emotion. Together they would need to gather their strength, as the biggest fight of their lives had just begun. Chapter 23 Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - January13,1997 The previous week had been horrendous for Mulder and Scully. After their breakdown in Doctor Palmer's office, they had both calmed down enough to talk about the possible therapies Scully could follow. Surgery had been ruled out of the equation when the results from the MRI showed that the tumour was too close to the brain. The oncologist had suggested chemotherapy combined with radiotherapy. It was the best course of action for her kind of cancer and he was confident that this combined therapy would help stop any further growth and maybe even result in a reduction in its size. He also talked about the side effects of such intense therapies. Sterility was one. Chemotherapy is so aggressive on the cells that it destroys the ova. Sometimes, fertility could be regained but Doctor Palmer wanted to err on the side of caution and suggested freezing some of Scully's ova before the procedures began. They both decided not to jeopardize their future. They tried to be hopeful and met a fertility specialist at the hospital the following day. During this procedure they discovered that Scully was already sterile. She wasn't producing enough viable ova and a procedure that could help her to do so would take too much time. They couldn't risk jeopardizing her cancer treatment with that sort of delay. It was the final blow to their already battered psyches, and the main reason they decided to investigate the abductions of the women in Allentown. Once there, they had discovered that all the abducted women, except Penny Northern, had died of the same cancer so recently diagnosed in Scully. Penny was involved in a new clinical trial under the supervision of one Dr Scanlon. It was a slim hope but Scully tried it, only to be faced with heartbreak when Mulder, during a follow up investigation based on a hunch, discovered that Scanlon was up to no good. They had left Allentown's hospital shortly after Penny Northern's death. Scully had been silent during the journey home, fidgeting with her wedding ring or looking at the road through the windshield. Once home, she went straight to lie down on their bed. Mulder couldn't bear to see her so defeated, so hopeless. "You okay, Scully?" Mulder asked quietly. "I'm fine," she lied, making him cringe inside. She was anything but fine but she needed to be strong, to be positive for her treatment with Dr Palmer. He needed his strong- willed Scully, the one that never gave up, the one who, in his mind, could move mountains. He wanted her healed and whole. He needed her back. He knew that everything that had happened during the last few days had, without a doubt, crushed her spirit, but for Scully the worst thing had been learning about her sterility. They had talked about children in Home last summer and they had discussed settling down and having kids. That's when it hit him. She thought that they would never have children. But he knew better. He had to tell her what he had found at the Lombard Facility. Mulder joined Scully on the bed, laying down and spooning up against her. He kissed her temple gently and whispered: "There's still hope. You'll live and we'll have kids one day." "It's no use living with false hope, Mulder. I have cancer. I am sterile. Even if I survive the cancer there will never be a child," she answered hopelessly, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You're wrong. I made an important discovery while you were at the hospital. I got into a facility with the guys' help and found something we thought we had lost. I couldn't believe it at first, it seemed so far fetched even for me, but it was true." "What was true?" "When you were abducted, all your ova were harvested. Don't ask me how, I don't know, but the fact is your ova were stored in a cabinet. There was a drawer for each abducted woman." "That's impossible Mulder! It's just another hoax to make us chase after false hope." she said, not wanting to believe, and afraid of the possible deceit. "I'm sure, Scully. The guys took them to a fertility clinic while I was getting back to you. A doctor they know and *trust* confirmed that they were indeed ova, viable ova. They were labelled with your name. We have to run your DNA to be sure they are yours." He said passionately. "Did they store them?" "Yes. They acted quickly. There's a drawer belonging to George and Elizabeth Hale in a fertility clinic. They have been careful, very careful. They know how vital it is for us." Scully turned around in his arms and sobbed against his chest. It seemed too good to be true. They would have to check if they were hers, but if they were, there would be some hope left for them if she survived the cancer. It made her more determined to fight. She'd endure the pain, the nausea, the vomiting. She'd try anything if it meant that someday she'd be pregnant with Mulder's child. Back at the hospital after Penny's death, she had said she'd carry on and that she still had things to prove to herself. Regaining the ability to bear a child, gave her the spark to ignite her determination. She was going fight the fight for herself and Mulder. She owed it to their marriage to stay positive and to believe in her chances. Above all, she owed it to herself. She wasn't a quitter and she was going to prove it. She had a goal now. If she survived, she could try for a child, Mulder's and hers. She was ready to do what needed to be done so that one day she'd hold her own baby in her arms. Her tears stopped and she raised her head to look at Mulder. His beautiful hazel eyes were full of pain. It was hard for him too. They had been married for such a short time and their world had already been rocked to the core. Their honeymoon had been cut short and it suddenly dawned on her that they hadn't made love since her diagnosis. She caressed his cheek and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was sweet and slow, as if they had all the time in the world. His hands ran lightly down her back, sending shivers through her nerves and making her feel alive for the first time since the word "cancer" had come into their lives. "I trust you, Mulder," she whispered, telling him with a few words that she believed him about the ova he had miraculously retrieved with the Gunmen. He smiled at her and kissed her thoroughly, pressing his body into hers, making her groan. Then things heated up and, for a while, they were able to forget the Sword of Damocles above their heads. There were only two bodies, two hearts, two souls entwined together. It was the calm before the storm. Chapter 24 Holy Cross Memorial Hospital - Washington DC - April 27, 1997 Days had come and gone, spring replaced winter whilst Scully's battle against cancer raged on. She had chemotherapy rounds every four weeks, lasting five days. Five days hooked to the IV line receiving potentially lethal combinations of drugs. Five days of vomiting and feeling like death, weakening to the point where she couldn't move anymore. It was her last scheduled treatment before starting on radiotherapy. She had lost her hair and wore a scarf when she was at the hospital and a wig when she was outside. Mulder had suggested that she had the wig made to avoid any pitying glances. At first she had been angry at him, thinking that he was ashamed to be seen with a bald woman, but he had explained with tears in his eyes that he didn't want anyone at the Bureau thinking less of her as an agent because she had cancer. When her hair started to fall out in handfuls, she was devastated and refused to let him see her without her scarf or her wig because she felt so ashamed of herself. The FBI were aware of their marriage but the news didn't receive the negative reaction they had expected. The news about Scully's cancer stopped everybody dead in their tracks. They couldn't very well tease them when she was so ill, though it didn't stop everyone and there had been some "water cooler gossip" about it being a marriage of convenience, Mulder taking pity on his dying partner. Skinner himself had taken action to prevent the spread of such horrible and insensitive speculation. Scully's brothers had both welcomed the news of their sister's marriage with vastly differing reactions. Charlie had been thrilled and happy for his sister, telling her that it wasn't news to him that she loved Mulder. Every letter, every email she sent him was full of Mulder and, early on, Charlie knew that it was love. Bill was another deal altogether. He thought that Mulder was a reckless son-of-a-bitch who would lead her to her death. Maggie supported her daughter and son-in-law as much as she could. She was there for the chemotherapy rounds when Mulder had to work and couldn't get time off to take care of his wife. Earlier that morning, Mulder had been called away urgently by Skinner, and had to leave Scully's bedside during her last course of chemo. Maggie had taken over without question and held her daughter's hand while she was struggling against the last round of chemicals. Scully's latest MRI showed that the tumour hadn't grown but hadn't receded either. Dr Palmer thought that it was very encouraging when there was no growth. He was confident that radiotherapy would cause it to shrink in size. Scully didn't feel confident. She felt ill. She felt weak. She felt like dying. She had lost a lot of weight, and permanent dark rings around her eyes only served to enhance the gauntness of her face. Her blue eyes had become icy oceans of pain. She refused to look at herself in the mirror anymore and also refused to let Mulder see her naked, so whenever she needed to change she hid in the bathroom to do so. Mulder arrived back at the hospital 3 hours after the chemo had ended. He had received a call from Maggie an hour earlier, letting him know how things had gone and telling him Dana was sleeping. He stood at the entrance to her private room and silently watched her sleep. She was a heartbreaking sight but he still loved her like crazy. He regretted not being with her for this round, but he had been busy all day trying to save Skinner's ass. The AD had gotten himself into some trouble and had called on Mulder to help him hide his tracks, which Mulder willingly did but in all honesty his heart hadn't really been in it. The place he'd really wanted to be was right by Scully's side. He approached the bed and gasped when he saw how gaunt her face was. The scarf had loosened and he saw her head for the first time without cover since she had lost her hair. He didn't understand her need to appear whole in front of family, especially him. She looked so frail right now. He had a hard time reconciling this Scully with the fiery creature he had known for five years, but she was still Scully, the strong willed. The chemo made her feel down for days afterwards, but once that passed she was back to normal, except for sharing her naked body with him. It wasn't that they didn't make love. They still did but she insisted on the lights being off. and on wearing a tee shirt to cover her thinness. He allowed her everything she wanted or needed and was as supportive as he could be. There were times when it was too much and he found refuge at Maggie's. His mother-in-law let him cry out all his heartbreak, anger and frustration, and when he was done he went home to his wife with a renewed will to fight. He sat down next to her and, as if she had felt him, she opened her weary eyes and tried to smile. "Hey," she rasped. "Hey yourself," he said, leaning over to kiss her. "Missed you." "I know..I'm sorry." "Don't be. I knew that you couldn't possibly be here every time. Don't beat yourself up over it, please. It's not as if it's sexy to see me puking my guts out for three hours straight," she tried to joke. "You are always sexy to me, Scully." "You are so sweet to me." She held her hand out to him and he grasped it to kiss her wedding ring. It was a ritual for him to kiss the symbol of their marriage. It reassured him that he hadn't dreamt it all and that she was real. He held her hand to his heart and caressed her fingers gently. "How are you feeling?" "No worse than usual. A bit nauseous." "Do you need anything? I can ring for the nurse, I can.." "I need *you*. You think you can sneak into bed with me?" "You know me, never one to turn down an offer to go to bed with a beautiful lady." Their banter was always light hearted in an attempt to avoid any heavy topics. He just asked if she was okay. She answered with anything but "I'm fine" and then she got him into bed with her where he spent the night. She knew he never slept at all, far too preoccupied with watching her. She preferred having him next to her instead of having him worrying like crazy at home and doing something rash like running after an elusive cure. She knew the nurse on duty would overlook the regulations and allow him to stay with her. She fell asleep in the security of his arms, listening to his steady heartbeat. There were other battles to fight tomorrow and they needed their rest to start the last part of their war against the cancer. Chapter 25 Fox Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - May13, 1997 Mulder was asleep in his bed. He had no choice but to keep his apartment until the lease ran out at the end of the year. However, he didn't plan on keeping it after then because he and Scully wanted to eventually move to an apartment belonging to both of them. In fact, he had spent only one other night here since their marriage. She was tired after her radiotherapy and an argument got out of hand. They had both decided on a little distance to give them the chance to cool off. She finally joined him in the middle of night, unable to sleep alone. They had made up like every married couple did and he returned to her apartment the next day. Tonight, he was here because of what had happened at Quonochontaug while he was under the influence of the drug, Ketamine. He could have killed her while he was hallucinating. He had fired his weapon at her reflection in the mirror and it had been too much for him. Scully was silently watching him sleep. She had come here when she couldn't find him at her apartment. His apartment was his private refuge. She knew she would find him here and she needed to be with him tonight. She was starting to regain some of her strength since chemotherapy was over. She had lost a lot of weight and tried to eat properly to get it back. Her hair was growing back nicely, but she had decided to keep wearing her wig until her red tresses were long enough. The radiotherapy was in progress but the tumour wasn't receding as her doctor had hoped. After seeing Harold Spuller's ghost in her car, she had finally admitted to herself that she was dying. She hadn't told Mulder what she had seen that night, not wanting to tell him what she thought it meant. She had tried to protect him as long as she could, but soon Dr Palmer would run new tests and, if the horrible headache she had on a daily basis was any indication, she knew that it wouldn't be good news. It was time to come clean with the man she loved above everything else. She couldn't go on lying. Truth was the basis of their relationship and she wouldn't deceive him. She started to undress. For the first time in five months, she pulled off every piece of clothing she had on her. She wanted him to see the naked truth about her. It could very well be the last time before the tumour attacked her brain and she would start to lose her memories about their time together, about their love. She wanted him to feel that she was still alive, to forget what happened this afternoon. It wasn't important right now. What was important was them and their love. The final thing she removed was her red wig, exposing her downy peach fuzz that was as soft as baby's hair. She joined him under the covers and held his sleeping half naked body in her arms. She kissed his shoulder, trying to wake him slowly. After a few minutes of kissing and nipping, he turned around and opened his eyes. He thought that it was just a dream. His Scully was never naked in bed nowadays and she always wore either a scarf or her wig. This Scully was naked and her hair was so short that it was almost painful to see. "I'm real, Mulder," she said, sensing his questioning gaze. "Why..why are you here? I almost killed you today." "You didn't. You made me remember that every day could be the last day. I don't want to lose more time now. I need to feel. I need to live. I need to love. I want to create memories." She said softly. "Please, don't say that..I can't.." "You asked me to not accept my fate when I was diagnosed. I didn't. Now, I want you to accept what I'm saying. I'll have another series of tests tomorrow and I'm prepared to face the truth; that I'm dying. I want you to see what I see when I look at myself in the mirror. I want you to accept what's there and what could happen. I could die. The treatments seem to have failed and I don't want to be left with regrets. I want to spend what life I still have loving you." Mulder started to sob uncontrollably. It was too hard to hear that from the person he loved most in the world. He wanted to tell her that she was making a mistake, that she was healing, that the treatments had worked, but deep down he knew better. He knew about the nosebleeds, the ever present headache and the results of the MRI done two weeks ago. He had seen Dr Palmer's hopeless face. He had seen all the facts and he had refused to believe in the unavoidable truth. His Scully was dying. She held him against her, waiting for him to calm down, to process the truth. It needed to be done. They couldn't keep on lying to themselves. They had fought together with all they had, all they were, but it hadn't been sufficient. She wanted him to accept the reality so they could both enjoy what was left of heir life together. The gut wrenching sobs stopped abruptly and he raised his tearful eyes to hers. "I love you so much, Scully." "I love you too..that's why I needed to tell you the truth.. that's why I want to make the most of the days we still have left." He closed his eyes, trying to push the pain to the far recesses of his soul. He'd try to make the most of it with *her*, for *her*, but he was sure that he wouldn't survive her by long. He was sure that he would die from a broken heart. He didn't see the need to share that bit of information with her. He just took a deep breath and opened his eyes to drown in her liquid blue eyes. Anything she was, anything she thought, anything she felt, was here out in the open. Her eyes were the windows to her soul where he could see the endless love she bore for him. He caressed her hair reverently, surprised by the softness and the fiery colour of it. He'd known she was a real redhead since their first time, but she used to dye it to change the shade. This was the first time he was able to see her real hair colour. His fingers travelled from her cheeks to her lips. She kissed his fingers before their lips met again. He explored her thoroughly. She slid her tongue over his, sucking it deeper into her mouth as she ran her hands over his body, pulling him closer. Her hands roamed to the waistband of his boxers and she moved to cover his erection, wrapping her fingers around his hardness, tracing the outline through the cloth. He released her mouth and moaned into her neck. He was already close to the edge. She divested him of the last piece of clothing preventing them from being skin to skin and then she moulded her petite body to his more muscular one. It was so good to feel him almost surrounding her. It was good to feel his skin, his sparse chest hair tickling her breast. He rolled her onto her back and placed his rigid penis at her entrance, feeling for her readiness. He wanted to take his time, to reverently explore her body, but she decided otherwise. She arched her back and he slid home easily. Their eyes met and she nodded imperceptibly. He began to move slowly at first, enjoying her tightness around him. It was so good to be inside her again, to just feel her alive and to forget that it could well be the last time. He put that sad thought aside and quickened his pace. She encircled his waist with her legs, making him go deeper and deeper. She tried to burn his features into her memory. She wanted to always remember his face while he was making love to her. She wanted to never forget the love and the passion she was seeing in his hazel eyes. If she was granted one memory of him, she wanted to keep what she was seeing right now. When he was in the throes of passion, all the hurt and the pain left his features and let the real Fox Mulder appear. She felt him tense and she knew he was very close to coming. He wanted to wait for her and she told him with her eyes that she was ready. He gave one last thrust and spilled into her as she cried out from pleasure. He fell into her arms and she held him fiercely. Their breathing slowly came back to normal and he kissed her again, not wanting to let go of her yet. They didn't sleep much; rediscovering their bodies and creating new memories to cherish. The fear and pain were kept at bay by alternating slow lovemaking sessions with naps. Chapter 26 Dana Scully's Hospital Room - October 3, 1997 "I'd like to try this," Scully said With this sentence, she finally acknowledged the possibility that her cancer could be an engineered illness. A lot had happened in the last few months and more in the last 24 hours. Back in June, she decided to stop all treatment when Dr Palmer gave her the results of her latest exams. She wasn't improving. The tumour was still there. She called a stop to the suffering and just agreed on having MRI done to record the progression. Her decision weighed heavily on her relationship with Mulder. He didn't want her to give up and he became relentless, always off chasing his elusive truth, endangering himself more than ever. In early September, they finally separated following fight after fight and they both agreed they needed some space. She couldn't keep on watching his self-destruction. He was sure he would find some miracle cure for her, when she was sure that all had been tried and all had failed. Maggie Scully wanted to mend her daughter's marriage but Scully thought that maybe it was better for him to be away when she was slowly weakening. She loved him enough to let him go. She thought that severing their bond before she died would make her death easier on him but she realised now it had been foolish to think that Mulder could cut her from his heart so easily. She was foolish to think that he would suffer less. During his search for a cure Mulder came into contact with a Dr Arlinsky who claimed to have found an alien corpse conserved in ice. They soon discovered that it was another hoax designed to keep Mulder on his toes. Soon after that, they learnt from a man at the Department of Defence, Michael Kritchgau, that Scully's cancer had been given to her to keep Mulder believing in the lies. It had been the last straw for him and when a body had been discovered dead in his apartment, every one believed that he had put an end to his misery. It was another lie, spread by him and Scully. Mulder had discovered that his home had been under video and audio surveillance for over 2 months. When he confronted the man who had been monitoring his apartment, a struggle ensued and a gun went gone off killing the man. During his search of the dead man's apartment, Mulder found out that not only did he work for the Pentagon, but he was in contact with someone in the FBI. Someone of high rank. He went to Scully with his plan to infiltrate the Pentagon and persuaded her to identify the dead body lying on the floor of his living room as his, therefore giving him time to find some answers. They reconnected on a physical level that night and she admitted to him that the cancer had spread. Her days were numbered. His journey inside the Pentagon had been interesting. He met up with Michael Kritchgau who told him that everything had been a lie. There were no aliens. It was a cover story for the government, who were creating new secret weapons. He had seen what the government wanted him to see and Scully's illness was just another means to deflect his interest from what was really going on. Further inside the Pentagon, Mulder came to a storage room with row upon row of shelves. After searching for Scully's name he found some metal tubes which he fully believed contained a cure for her cancer. After narrowly missing capture, he took his find back to the Gunmen to verify his suspicion, but they only found deionised water in the tube. His utter disappointment at this discovery was brushed aside when he received a phone call telling him that Scully had collapsed before the FBI committee and had been admitted to the hospital. Just when Mulder thought it had been all for nothing, he was approached by CSM who told him what he was supposed to find inside the tube. After rechecking the tube, the Gunmen found a microchip in the deionised water, nearly the same as the one extracted from Scully's neck. Mulder rushed back to the hospital to tell Scully about the chip and to finally hear her acknowledge that his paranoia over the cause of her cancer was justified. After discussing the matter with her doctor and her family, Scully decided to trust Mulder's instinct and have the microchip put back into her neck. Mulder released the breath he was holding and sat down on the bed next to Scully. Maggie and the doctor excused themselves while Bill Scully remained, undeterred. Both men were holding a glaring contest and Scully had to intervene: "Bill please, I need to talk to my *husband*," she pleaded. "What for? So he can feed you more lies?" Bill said angrily. "How can you believe in that crap? How can you agree with that son-of-a- bitch? Don't you see that he's completely delusional?" Nobody had time to answer. Maggie Scully was back in the room and grabbed her son by the arm. "William Patrick Scully. Out. Now," she said in a tone that left no room for discussion. Although his father may have been a Captain in the Navy, it was his mother who had held the fort at home, so Bill complied not wanting to face the ire of his mother. He would have his time with that bastard who married his sister. He swore it. Once they were alone, Scully opened her arms to welcome Mulder into her embrace. He tucked his head in her neck and held her tightly. She caressed his back and his hair gently, silently telling him how much he meant to her. Their split had been a big mistake. She had thought that maybe he would hurt less when she died if they were already separated. She had been so wrong. He had relentlessly searched for a cure, a means to save her, and that's all that had mattered for the last few months. And he was sure that the microchip was it. She had nothing to lose by trying it, and it wasn't as if she had any other choices. She released him and cradled his face between her hands. "Whatever Bill says to you, *don't* believe him. You did all you did for me, only for me. I know it. You'd give your life for me if you were sure it would save me." "I'm guilty, Scully. Nothing can change that. They did this to you because of me." "Guilt will get you nowhere, Mulder. If it's my forgiveness you want, you have it but there's nothing to forgive. I've followed you of my free will. I fell in love with you. I married you. I made my own decisions and nobody can take that from me. I won't let my brother destroy what's between us. I swore to love you and respect you till death do us part. I plan on honouring my vows to the end." She rasped out. She kissed him then. If tomorrow never came, she would have made peace with the man she loved, the man she had followed to hell and back. There was no one more important to her. He was family. He was the one who risked everything to get the Holy Grail, the microchip that allegedly could save her. There was no one else like him and she was glad to have known him. Their lips parted and he lowered his forehead to hers, whispering: "You're the love of my life, Scully. There will never be anyone else." "I want you to keep going, love. I want you to find Samantha and to reunite with her. Promise me that you won't do anything rash." "I can't promise you that." "I want you to. I'm sure that we will be together again in the afterlife, in our own time. Don't jeopardize that." He laughed nervously. "How can you believe into the afterlife without having proof it really exists? Who are you? What did you do with my beautiful no nonsense wife?" "I want to believe that, one day, I'll see you again." "I want to believe that too." "So believe me." Chapter 27 Dana Scully's Hospital Room - October 4, 1997 2 AM Mulder entered the darkened room where Scully was sleeping. He walked to her bedside and touched her hair, then got down on his knees and cried. It was so unfair. He had found his sister, but Scully was dying. Samantha had been alive all along, raised by the smoking bastard. He had lost all those years for nothing. Samantha had searched for him and had been deluded too. The smoking man had the upper hand in everything. He had taken his sister and he was responsible for the slow death of Scully. Mulder had been offered a deal that he couldn't accept, even if it meant he would get to see Samantha again. He couldn't betray what he and Scully had worked for. The smoking man claimed that he had given Mulder all he had ever wanted. Mulder only saw that Scully was still dying and that Samantha didn't want to have anything to do with him. In ten hours, he'd have his hearing at the FBI and maybe he'd be jailed for killing a man. Jail was nothing compared to living his life without Scully. His tears kept falling on Scully's hand and she was awoken by his sobbing. She squeezed his hand and opened her eyes to see the utter devastation on his face. His suffering had hit the roof and there was nothing she could do. She had seen her latest PET scan results and there was no improvement. She had asked her mother to call Father McCue so he could help her pray and maybe give her the Last Rites. Maybe she could ask something more of him, but she needed to talk to Mulder first. She waited for Mulder to calm down. Once his tears had dried, he rose from his kneeling position and sat down on the bed next to her. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean to wake you." "It's okay. Mulder, I need you to do something for me." "Anything, you know that, Scully." "Father McCue is coming here tomorrow morning. I want him to bless our marriage." "Scully, please..we still have time," he protested. "You know we don't. You promised we'd have a Catholic wedding and I want to have it, here and now. I want the Church to acknowledge our love. I don't want to die without having God's blessing." A last tear fell on Mulder's cheeks before he nodded his assent. Dana Scully's Hospital Room - October 4, 1997 10 AM They had talked about Samantha after he agreed to have the blessing performed by Father McCue. He told her about the deal he hadn't accepted and she assured him that he had made the right decision. There was no reason to sacrifice anything more to their nemesis. Mulder had left Scully at 4 AM so she could sleep, and had returned just a few minutes ago. He'd had a meeting with Blevins who had proposed a deal which he had refused. His soul wasn't on the market. He would face the consequences of his actions. Maggie had joined them to be their witness again. Bill had declined the offer, but hadn't opposed his sister, letting her have her last wish. It didn't matter anyway. She was at death's door and nothing he could say would change anything. Father McCue was ready to perform the ceremony. Scully was reclining against the headboard and Mulder sat next to her, holding her hand. She was pale and dark rings surrounded her eyes. Their wedding rings had been removed so the priest could bless them during the ceremony. "Dana, Fox, you asked me to bless your union today. I know the circumstances are special so I won't do the usual speech about what is love, what is marriage. I spoke with Maggie this morning and I know that you intended to marry in the church before Dana was diagnosed. I hope that this blessing will give you some peace. Now let's begin..." Mulder turned to Scully and burned his gaze to hers to say the words they had written together last night. "I, Fox William Mulder, take you Dana Katherine Scully, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I'll love you above and beyond this life. I give you my trust and my heart to keep." "Your turn, Dana." "I, Dana Katherine Scully, take you Fox William Mulder, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I'll love you 'til my last breath and beyond. I give you my trust and my heart to keep." Maggie gave the rings to the priest, who blessed them and said: "The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the vows Fox and Dana have made to one another. Bless, oh God, these rings, that Dana and Fox, who give them and who wear them, may ever abide in thy peace; living together in unity, love and happiness for the rest of their lives." Mulder was given the ring to put on Scully's finger. He mirrored his actions of the previous January. "Scully, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honour you. With this ring, I thee wed." He kissed her ring finger before letting her take his ring from the priest. She let the tears fall freely when she spoke. "Mulder, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honour you. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. With this ring, I thee wed." They were both crying now, absorbing the enormity of the moment. Father McCue finished the ceremony: "In as much as you have each pledged to the other your lifelong commitment, love and devotion, I now pronounce you husband and wife, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder. Fox, you may kiss your bride." He cradled her face between his hands and she whispered, "thank you," before kissing him. When they parted, Maggie and the priest had left the room, giving them some privacy before Mulder had to go and defend himself before the committee. "I gotta go face the music. Promise me you won't give up while I'm off trying to save my ass. Pray to that God of yours to give us a chance." He said tearfully. "I promise, Mulder. I won't leave you before my time." He kissed her lips one last time, and then her wedding ring, before standing up. She kept his hand in hers and whispered: "You'll be in my prayers." "Have the Father say a few Hail Mulders for me, okay?" he said, with a little smile that didn't reach his eyes, as Father McCue came back into the room. Whatever happened today, their lives were bound to change. For better or for worse. Chapter 28 Dana Scully's Hospital Room -October 4 1997 - 10PM Scully's cancer was in remission. Her latest blood work and MRI showed a significant shrinking of the cancerous mass and a decrease of the metastasis. It was more than anybody could have hoped for. Scully didn't know if it was the microchip or the 'Hand of God' that gave her a new lease of life, but she was sure that she wouldn't get rid of the little piece of technology that Mulder found for her. She didn't care about everyone else's thoughts on the matter, her mother or her brother, she would be taking no risks by removing it. Her family had visited with her all afternoon and a good part of the evening. Mulder had been out of sight all the time Bill had been there. Maggie had just ushered everyone out so that husband and wife could reunite peacefully and alone together. Mulder had stayed in the hallway, looking at the picture of him and his sister as kids. He had no doubt now that she had been alive all this time. The Smoking Man had raised Samantha and kept her away from her family for more that twenty years, feeding her lies. The young woman he met was terrified and he was sure she would never be granted another chance to visit him. The search was over. The wonderful news about Scully's remission soothed the pain of losing his sister. He could have lost everything but he was left with the most important person in his life. Scully was the beacon in his darkness and she was going to live. It would take him time to reconcile the truth about his sister but, with Scully by his side, he was sure he'd manage. It was time to stop living in the past and to build a future, a family. He stood and pulled himself together before entering the room that had just been deserted by the Scully family. Scully was sitting propped up against the headboard and smiled at him when he entered. Her eyes were glinting for the first time since she had been diagnosed. Even if the dark rings around her eyes and the gauntness were still there, her strong will was back. "Mulder," she whispered. He went to her and crushed her small body in his warm embrace. They held each other tightly for a sweet eternity. She disentangled herself from him and scrutinized his face, his body. She realised what a toll her illness had taken on him. She could tell he had lost weight, because his clothes were hanging from him and she could feel his bones through his shirt. His face was ashen and his eyes tired. "Where were you?" she asked. "I was just outside your room, in the hallway." "Why didn't you come in with Mom and Bill?" "I just thought that I would let you have some time with them. It was a kind of truce..with Bill," he answered simply, not wanting to upset her. "He demanded that you stay out of his sight?" she asked with anger. "He didn't exactly demand, but if his eyes had been weapons, I'd be dead," he said lightly. "I'll talk to him. There's no way I'm letting him act this way with you." "Don't get all worked up because of him. It's no big deal, really. I needed some time to myself, to reflect, to regroup," he said, lowering his eyes, trying to hide his pain. "Skinner told me about the hearing. You named Blevins." "Lucky guess." He smiled. "You are going to be reinstated. They have no choice. Skinner will make sure of that." "I don't know if I want to go back," he said, softly. "What are you saying?" She scanned his eyes trying to read him. "The search is over, Scully. My sister is alive. She's been with the Smoking Man all this time. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I've lost so much and could have lost more. I don't want to go on like that. You are alive and in remission. We have second chance and I don't want to miss it by chasing aliens or whatever. It's time for us to call it quits and live for us." He said with passion. She cradled his face between her hands and looked him straight in the eyes. "I don't think you are objective enough to make any decisions today. We have endured a lot these last few hours and I think we need to rest and have all our wits about us to make a monumental decision like that. I said *we*, Mulder, because there's no way you are going to decide for both of us. We are a team. We are a couple. You don't have to carry the world on your shoulders anymore. I won't let you." She paused and let him digest what she had said. She would get her strength back and they would both decide their future, together hand in hand. His lonely years were over. She would be the supportive wife, the comprehensive friend, and the protective partner he needed. "We are going to sleep and tomorrow will be another day, a day I thought I'd never see." "Oh Scully," he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. She kissed his lips gently and then scooted over on the bed. He took off his shoes and lay down with her, then she switched off the light and snuggled against his chest. "I love you, Scully," he whispered. "Love you too." Sleep soon claimed them. Their future seemed brighter than it had just a few short hours ago. For once, their sleep wasn't interrupted by nightmares. Chapter 29 Bill and Tara Scully's Home - San Diego -December 22, 1997 Dana Scully-Mulder wasn't enjoying herself. Her sister-in-law kept on raving about her pregnancy, how her life had meaning now that she was bringing a new life into the world, while Scully sat there, sterile and out of the loop. Her tumour had miraculously disappeared shortly after she went into remission. Her doctor didn't exactly call it a miracle but it was one without doubt. She and Mulder had started to talk about their future and the possibility of children. IVF was their best chance but it involved intense treatments and the doctors wanted to wait a little while before starting. Her body still hadn't totally recovered from her illness and she needed to be strong in mind and body to face the IVF procedures. They had agreed to wait six months before starting on the complicated journey of creating a new life with the help of science. That didn't make it any less difficult for Scully to watch a very pregnant Tara talking animatedly about her impending motherhood. Nobody was aware of Dana's problem. She had wanted to keep it between Mulder and herself, not feeling comfortable sharing it with her brother or even her mother. She felt a failure, less of a woman. She knew those feelings were irrational but she couldn't help them. The fact that Mulder was away didn't help matters. He was tied up on a case in Washington, desperately trying to finish up as soon as possible so that he could join his wife and mother-in-law in time for Christmas. She missed him like crazy and her mood wasn't exactly festive. "Dana?" called Bill Junior. "Dana? Are you with us?" She jumped and smiled uncomfortably. "Sorry, I must be more tired than I thought." "You could at least try to enjoy yourself!" He sniped, being his usual bullying self. "Or even fake being interested in what Tara is saying." "Bill, please, your sister is tired. It's no big deal." Tara tried to soothe her husband. "She'd be less tired if she gave up that nonsense she calls work with that son of a bitch that she married!" he replied in a raised voice. "You just can't help it Bill," Scully seethed with anger. "You have to blame anything and everything on Mulder! You can't just think that maybe I'm hurt by all the talk about babies and pregnancies when I know what I'll have to go through hell to have one of my own? Not everyone can get pregnant just like that, you know." "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You can't have children? Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that? You don't tell us anything anymore! It's as if you've cut your family from your life! You are full of secrets known only to Mulder. He's no good for you, Dana. Look what he's driven you to. Look at this afternoon; running to this little girl whose parents died in a car accident. What the hell is the matter with you? "I received a call telling me to..It's not important. You wouldn't understand." "What is there to understand? You are becoming as crazy as him! I don't understand why you stay with him, I really don't. He's already cost you so much.." Scully's mother and Tara sat silently while she and Bill fought. There was nothing they could say to stop the war of words. It had been simmering for a while and it was best to get it out in the open. Scully stood, saying steadily with her eyes full of unshed tears, "I love him, Bill, and he loves me more than life itself. I've never asked you why you married Tara. I've never said anything against her. She is your choice and I respect that. I trust your judgement to make the right choice. For once in your life, Bill, respect me. Respect my choices. Respect my husband. If you can't do that, we have nothing left to say to each other. Ask yourself, Bill, would a man face the holidays with a brother-in-law who despises him for a woman he doesn't love? Mulder would do *anything* for me. Would you do me a favour and for once try to be civil? If not, I'm leaving tomorrow." Bill had nothing to add to that. His sister had made herself very clear. She kissed her mother and Tara goodnight and left the room. Bill lowered his eyes under the reproachful look of his mother and wife. He had pushed too far because he thought that he could talk some sense into Dana whilst Mulder was away. It never once occurred to him that she was her very own person and that no one would make her do anything she didn't want to do. The remainder of the dinner was spent in silence with Maggie dying to join her daughter but knowing that she needed to be alone. Tara was fuming with her husband. For once, she was hosting the Scully's Christmas festivities and Bill was already killing the mood. They would have a serious chat when they were on their own. *** Scully was sitting on the bed. She should have known that her brother wouldn't understand. There was only one man able to do so and she grabbed her cell phone and dialled Mulder's cell number. She needed to tell him about the fight and about the anonymous phone call. He answered on the first ring. "Mulder, it's me," she said softly. "Hey baby, missing me already?" "More than anything." "You okay, Scully?" "You know that you are spooky, right?" she laughed. "That's why you married me." "Yeah..I've just had a fight with my brother." "What a surprise! Let me guess, it was about you marrying the wrong guy." "Not just that. Something weird happened today and he thinks I'm losing it." "Tell me." "I got an anonymous phone call this afternoon. A woman's voice telling me that *she* needed me. I got it traced and went straight to the address. There were police everywhere. Seems there had been an accident, a couple was killed outside their home by a drunk driver. Their daughter was the sole survivor. Cute little thing. And you know what, Mulder? I only saw her for a few seconds but I really think she was the *she*." "What aren't you telling me, Scully?" "The caller's voice..it sounded so like Missy." "Dana.." "Tell me I'm not nuts." "You're not. I have two theories." "Already? You're getting faster these days," she teased. "First theory, you are missing your sister because it's Christmas and you need her with you to fight against your bully of a brother. Second theory, someone is impersonating your sister and wants you to be interested in that little girl's wellbeing" "I've thought about that but I keep on asking myself why." "You have to use your investigative skills Agent Scully." "Very useful, Mulder, thanks." "Glad to be helpful. Baby, don't worry, okay? I'll be there soon. I'm almost finished with the case. Once it's done, I'm jumping on a plane and I'll protect you against Bill." "My Hero. Look, I have to go, there's someone knocking at my bedroom door." Scully got up and went to answer the door. It was her mother. "Dana, there's someone downstairs asking to see you." "Who?" "Casey Faulkner." Chapter 30 Bill and Tara Scully's Home - San Diego -December 22, 1997 Scully ended her phone call with Mulder, telling him she'd call back later. She hadn't seen Casey since 1994 when they had talked about why she had consulted Casey before her abduction. Shortly after that, Dr Faulkner had moved to California. Scully didn't know why Casey wanted to see her when they hadn't talked or even written to each other for three years. She followed her mother downstairs. Bill and Tara were nowhere to be seen, which was a relief. She wasn't ready to face her brother again so soon. Casey was waiting in the lobby, next to the door. She had changed to say the least. The once elegant and self confident doctor was now replaced by a terrified looking woman. Scully could feel it from a distance; her friend was afraid. She was staying in the shadows and her dark ringed eyes were those of a bewildered being. "Dana.." she whispered, "I'm so sorry." Scully approached the woman and saw that she was holding something against her. Scully put a tentative hand on her arm and she jumped nervously. "Casey, what happened to you?" "It's a long story..I just needed to see you and tell you the truth. I've got so much regret, Dana. I hope that you will find it in you to forgive me." She pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears. "You're not making any sense, Casey. Come on, let's take a seat on the couch and you can tell me what you're talking about." Scully gently steered her into the living room while Maggie made a discreet exit to let the women talk. Casey sat down heavily, still clutching a black book against her chest. She lowered her eyes and started her story. "You remember the day we met a little after you came back from..your abduction?" "Yes. I wanted to know if you had found something special in the blood work we did before I was abducted. You said that it was just a bad case of the flu." "I lied. I was told to tell you it was the flu..but it wasn't." "What?" Scully asked alarmed. The other woman handed her the black book she was holding so tightly. Scully took it and when she opened it, she realised what it was. Her journal, the one she had searched in vain for when she came back from the hospital, She opened it at the last written page. Her familiar scrawl jumped out at her and she read the last entry. "August 7, 1994. How I'm going to tell Mulder? I'm a modern woman and a doctor and I didn't see it coming. When Casey wanted to go over my result with me personally, I was worried that it was something serious. What she told me seems unreal, as if it's happening to someone else. I'm pregnant. I'm a grown woman, a doctor, and it didn't occur to me to think about protection when Mulder and I had sex on my couch. What was I thinking?" The writing went on but Scully had stopped taking it in when she read the word "pregnant". She wanted to say that it was a fake, that someone was playing with her, but it made so much sense. The nightmares she had about giving birth, her inability to remember what she'd wanted to tell to Mulder before disappearing. The raw pain in her heart was unbearable. The tears escaped her eyes before she could hold them. "Why?" she turned to Casey, her voice filled with pain. "I had no choice. They were threatening to kill my family if I didn't do what they wanted,!" "And now? Why are you coming here to tell me that They took my baby?" "I've escaped my watchdogs. My husband and my son died in a plane crash. There's nothing stopping me anymore." "What happened to my baby?" "They tried to hybridise her. They tried to change her DNA but it didn't work. When she was one year old, they finally gave up and put her up for adoption. She wasn't what they hoped for." "She's alive?" "Yes, her name is Emily." "Oh my God.." She stood quickly and ran to the phone, dialling Mulder's cell number with trembling hands. Tears were falling freely down her cheeks. It was impossible. First the anonymous call that led her to that little orphan girl, Emily Sim, and then Casey telling her that she had been pregnant when she was abducted and that her baby had been named Emily. It was too much. She didn't believe in coincidences. She needed Mulder now. She couldn't face this alone. "Mulder," he answered. "I need you," she whispered. "Scully, what's wrong? What's happening?" "Please come as soon as you can. I can't do this by myself." "I'll be on the next flight. Hold on, Baby." She didn't hear him cut the conversation, she had slipped to the floor, sobbing her heart out. Casey Faulkner took that as her cue to leave. She put the journal on the coffee table and quietly slipped out the door. Alarmed by her daughter's sobs, Mrs Scully ran downstairs to find her lying heartbroken on the floor. Chapter 31 Bill and Tara Scully's Home - San Diego -December 23, 1997 Mulder arrived in San Diego twelve hours later. He had told Skinner he had a family emergency and the AD accepted this without question. He was on edge. He hadn't been able to talk to Scully since she had asked him to join her. She had been crying, which was rare. Something bad must have happened. He knew that she had met Casey Faulkner. What could this woman have told her that caused her so much distress? Dr Casey Faulkner had studied in Med School with Scully, and before she had been transferred to California she'd been Scully's doctor. The last time they'd met was after Scully's abduction. Mulder had a nagging feeling that Faulkner's reappearance had something to do with that dark period of their lives. He knocked at the door, bracing himself to face an angry Bill Scully. There may have been no love lost between the two brothers-in- law, but Mulder was in no mood to fight. He was relieved when Maggie opened the door and engulfed him in her embrace. "Thank God you're here, Fox!" "Mom, what's wrong with Scully?" "I don't know. She locked herself in her room and she won't talk to me." "Did Casey Faulkner do something to her?" he asked angrily. "When I found Dana, Casey was already gone. I helped her upstairs and into bed. I haven't seen her since. I'm worried, Fox. Dana had a fight with Bill about not being able to have a baby and then this woman come over..I don't know what she told her to hurt her so much." "I'll find out. Where is she?" "I'll take you to her." Maggie led Mulder to Scully's room. He took a deep cleansing breath and knocked. "Baby, it's me," he said softly. He heard footsteps and the door unlocking. He opened the door and faced his dishevelled wife. Her eyes were swollen from crying, her clothes were wrinkled, and she was tightly clutching a black book, her journal by the look of it. He went to her and she slumped against him, sobbing anew. He held her against his chest, whispering words of comfort, kissing her hair and caressing her back in a soothing manner. It took a while before she was able to calm down. She untangled herself and raised her eyes to him. Her blue depths were testimony to the pain she felt. He would kill anyone who had hurt her so much. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. They had been separated for three days and it felt like a month. When the kiss broke, she let go of him and handed him the journal. She was already calmer and ready to talk. "What is it?" he asked, puzzled. "Read the last entry, you'll understand." He did so while she sat down on the bed, watching him closely. His face paled when he read the word "pregnant". "Scully, it's.." "It's my journal. The one I searched for after I was released from the hospital. I think They stole it. It all makes so much sense now." "Where did you get it? Casey Faulkner? Did she give it to you? Where did Casey get it?" "Yes. She said that when They realised I was pregnant, they took the baby, *our* baby, and tried to hybridise it. It didn't work so she was given up for adoption." "She survived and was used as a test subject?" "Yes. I don't know how she was able to survive, but she did. We have a little girl, Mulder and I know where she is." "What?" His brain was in overdrive, trying to grasp what she was telling him. "Casey told me that the baby had been named Emily. Remember the anonymous phone call I told you about and the little girl I found who I felt sure I was there to help?. Her name is Emily. Emily Sim." "How can you be sure it's not a hoax? That it's really her? And how the hell does Casey know so much?" "She was blackmailed. Her family's lives were spared as long as she kept quiet about what she knew. But her husband and son died in a plane crash and she took the risk to come and tell me the truth." "That's a bit of a coincidence, don't you think?" "Yes, but it's our daughter." "You think it means that They are purposely drawing us to her so we can have her back? They aren't so magnanimous." "I know that. It's our baby, Mulder. They know we'll do anything to have her back." "Yes, anything..It's so much information to digest." He said, his eyes brimming with tears. "I know. I felt overwhelmed by it and all I was thinking is that if it's true and she is our Emily, then we have already lost three years of her life. We are strangers to her. We need to get tests run to prove she's ours." Mulder sat down next to Scully and she snuggled up against him. They desperately wanted to be parents and here was a little girl, possibly their biological daughter, appearing from nowhere. He couldn't help but think that it was probably a hoax, but could they ignore the fact that they had a chance to build a family? This girl was born from their love even if, when she was conceived, they weren't ready to commit together. Mulder felt that it was the sign he was waiting for to change everything. It was time to live in the present, to build a future. If gaining custody of Emily meant they had to quit their jobs at the FBI, so be it. He wouldn't regret it. "Baby, we'll do everything we can to get her. You have to believe me." "I believe in you, Mulder." "God, Scully. A daughter. We could have a daughter.." She smiled. Her angst and pain were less acute when Mulder was here. They were going to fight for themselves and a little orphan girl that might be theirs. Chapter 32 Social Services Building - San Diego, California -December 24, 1997 With AD Skinner's help, Mulder and Scully were able to build a solid case documenting her disappearance and her supposed pregnancy. The Gunmen had hacked into the hospital's patient files to get Scully's gynaecological history, where Scully discovered, to her surprise, that her gynaecologist thought that she had already given birth. The piece de resistance of their file was in Scully's purse; a picture of herself at three, a dead ringer for Emily. All the proof was adding up and they were certain that Emily Sim was their biological daughter. The hardest part was proving to Social Services that Emily was indeed their little girl and that she had been stolen from them during Scully's abduction. The first step was to get the social workers to agree to having some blood work done. Then, if the DNA matched, they would have to be investigated by the social workers, probably like adoptive parents, so that they could gain custody of Emily. They were hopeful; they needed to be. They had already told Skinner that they wanted to move out of the X-Files and be transferred elsewhere in the FBI. At first, Scully thought that it was too much to ask of Mulder, to let go of his passion, but he had been adamant. He wanted to have a future and if having family meant saying goodbye to the X-Files, he was ready. Since his meeting with Samantha in the diner back in October, his interest in the lights in the sky and other paranormal things had abated. His sister was alive. She didn't want to see him or their mother. End of story. It was a sad end, but at least she was alive and had a family. It had put an end to his quest; his new goal was Scully and their happiness. A happiness that included a little strawberry blond girl called Emily. They were sitting in the waiting room, holding hands and nervously checking the time every second or so. They had an important meeting with Miss Chambliss who was in charge of Emily's case. If she refused to allow them to have Emily's DNA checked, all their chances would fly out of the window. There was no way they could apply for a normal adoption after claiming that the little girl was theirs. It was all or nothing. A woman came out of the office and headed towards them, smiling. A welcoming face. After all, they were potential adoptive parents. "Mr and Mrs Mulder? I'm Lucy Chambliss." Mulder and Scully stood and shook the firm hand of the social worker. She steered them towards her office and offered them a seat. She took her place behind her desk, put on her glasses and looked at them with piercing eyes. "I understand that you want to adopt Emily Sim?" "Not exactly adopt." Mulder started, while Scully played nervously with her wedding ring. "You want to be foster parents then?" she said, puzzled. "Emily is our biological daughter." Scully blurted out. "That's impossible. Emily's birth mother died while giving birth. You must be mistaken." "We have a file, documenting my wife's disappearance for three month between August and November of 1994. She was found in a hospital corridor on November 4. She was pregnant before disappearing. She wasn't when we got her back." Mulder handed her the file with all the information they had gathered. Miss Chambliss read each one of the pages, becoming more surprised by the minute. Everything they must have endured, losing a child like that and not remembering anything. She felt pain for Scully because she was sterile now and Emily could be her only chance at motherhood. . Their story was far fetched but the evidence looked genuine. "Mrs Mulder..I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I just need to know something else. What makes you think that Emily could be your baby?" Scully rummaged in her purse and got the picture out. She handed it to Miss Chambliss. The social worker raised her eyebrow. "It's me at three." Miss Chambliss took Emily's file out of the folder. "Emily was born on November 3, 1994. We were told that her mother died while giving birth. The baby was kept in orphanage until she was one year old. The Sims adopted her and moved to San Diego." "Where was she born?" "In Washington D.C." Mulder and Scully gasped loudly. Another piece to the puzzle. The social worker seemed to sympathise with them, and they hoped that she would agree to have blood work run so they would know for sure, once and for all. "Mr and Mrs Mulder, it's not usual procedure to have biological parents asking for custody of their own child, especially after 3 years. In your case, I understand the circumstances are somewhat special. Nonetheless, even if Emily is your child, you'll have to go through an adoption procedure. It means that you'll be interviewed by social workers, you'll be evaluated. This process could take up to six months." "We know that. We'll do anything to have her back. First thing we have to do is check that she is ours." "I agree. We have to schedule an appointment at the hospital to.." "We're going to go through the labs at the FBI. They can have the results in 48 hours." Scully cut in. "You can have Emily's blood drawn by the nurse at the children's center. A FBI courier will be here to retrieve it and send it straight, with our samples, to Washington." "If you think it's better, I'm okay with it. I just have one demand: I want to have the results sent to me." "That's not a problem." "We are agreed then." They all stood and shook hands. Miss Chambliss hoped that the little girl was who they thought she was. If not, it would be a huge disappointment. She couldn't help but wonder why some people would steal a baby from its mother only to give it up for adoption. The world was going mad that was for sure. Mulder and Scully, once alone outside Miss Chambliss' office, fell into each other arms. "This is our chance," she whispered. "And we'll grab it with both hands. Come on, let's have some blood drawn. We'll know in two days." "Yes, two days." They left the social services building, hand in hand. Chapter 33 San Diego's Holiday Inn - Room 1013 -December 26, 1997 Mulder and Scully had to leave Bill Junior's house. The uncomfortable atmosphere was too much for their nerves, which were already frayed from everything that had happened since Emily's discovery. They had rented a room at the Holiday Inn just a few blocks down from the children's center where Emily was staying. Scully paced the room nervously as Mulder sat munching on sunflowers seeds. The results of the blood tests were due any minute and waiting was stressful. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day had been difficult for them because they were unable to concentrate on anything except the possibility that they might be parents to a cute little strawberry blond girl who was spending the holidays alone, without a family. The phone rang, interrupting Scully's musings. Mulder grabbed it and answered, listening carefully to what the FBI lab tech was telling him. His face was unreadable and Scully started to worry that they could have been mistaken once again. He disconnected the call and turned to her with the largest smile she had ever seen. "The results are in. Emily is without a doubt our daughter." He said to a tearful Scully. She went to him and they held each other while they both cried tears of happiness. They were going to have a family after all. Children's Center, San Diego - Same day. Once they were calmer, they phoned Miss Chambliss and asked to be given permission to see Emily. The social worker had also received the results and she knew that the couple were desperate to see their little girl. Emily needed to be cheered up too. Losing her parents just before Christmas was hard for a three year old, and maybe meeting her real parents would help her feel loved. Miss Chambliss agreed to a visit but gave them clear instructions: Emily wasn't to be told that they were her biological parents. They were to be presented as potential adoptive parents. Emily would need time to get used to them and, even if they were granted custody, they were advised not to rush in and tell her the truth. Mulder and Scully understood Miss Chambliss' worries and agreed do as asked in the hope that it would enhance their chances of obtaining custody. They stood watching Emily through the one-way glass into the playroom. She was sitting on the floor,, drawing carefully, her little tongue sticking out of her mouth. Mulder could see a lot of Scully in the look of concentration on the little girl's face. Scully was only seeing the pouty lip and a little mole on her cheek in same place as Mulder's. It was reassuring to see some physical signs that backed up what the blood tests had revealed. They were both feeling nervous. How do you connect with your own child? How do you catch up on three lost years? How do you take the place of the only people she has ever known as Mommy and Daddy? It was not going to be easy and this first meeting would change everything. It would be paramount to their chances of becoming her parents. Scully sat down next to Emily while Mulder took a seat in front of them. "Hi Emily, my name is Dana and this is.." "Fox," said Mulder. He did not want his daughter thinking that he had no name. "Hi," answered the little girl shyly, never stopping her drawing. "What are you colouring?" asked Mulder. "A potato," she said, wondering why this grown up was not able to recognize it. "Have you ever seen Mr. Potato Head?" Emily shyly shook her head at Mulder's question. "He looks like this." Mulder made the goofiest Mr Potato Head impersonation ever seen. Emily smiled at the funny man in front of her and decided she liked him. Her blue eyes pierced her father's heart. It was instant love and Scully knew that they had made significant progress today. "Are you going to be my new Mommy?" Emily blurted out, turning to Scully. "I'd like to very much." "And Mr Potato Head would be my Daddy?" "Yes, honey." "Will I have a brother or sister?" "No. Not yet but we would love for you to be our little girl." The little girl's eyes were full of tears. She didn't understand why her old Mommy and Daddy had to go to Heaven and leave her here all alone. She had even written a letter to Santa Claus asking him to forget about the doll she had asked for in her previous letter, and could he please instead give her a new Mommy and Daddy who would love her and never ever leave her. It looked like it had worked, as today these two people, the pretty lady and Mr Potato Head were asking her if she wanted to be their little girl. She did not want to stay here. She wanted a home with a Mommy and Daddy. She wanted her favourite toys. She wanted a bedtime story. She wanted her old Mommy and Daddy but they would never come back again. They were in Heaven with God. She started to cry and Scully took her little girl into her arms and told her that everything would be all right. She rocked her, holding her little body tight against her chest. It was as if she felt the instant connection between herself and her child. The bonding process had already started to happen. As Mulder sat watching his wife and child he realised that he was seeing his future. A future that nobody was going to get in the way of. He had a new quest; gaining custody of Emily and making a comfortable and safe life for her. He swore that they would make it work. He stood and gathered his girls into his arms, under the watchful gaze of Miss Chambliss. Her heart went out to the little family in front of her and she promised herself she would do everything she could to reunite them. Chapter 34 San Diego Hall of Justice - Judge Hartwell's Office - January 2, 1998 A new year had come and Matthew William Scully was born at the stroke of midnight, delivered by a tired Tara, making Bill Jr a proud daddy. Mulder and Scully showed polite happiness at the birth of their nephew, preoccupied by their scheduled hearing. Maggie's heart was split in two. She had her first grandson while her daughter and son-in-law were fighting to obtain custody of the little girl they never thought they'd have. Scully and Mulder had shared the truth about Emily with Maggie but asked her to keep the particulars to herself. Scully was sure that her brother would never believe that Emily had been stolen from her womb. Maggie had assured them of her support and was willing to speak up for them at the hearing, if she was needed. Their conversation had been interrupted by Tara whose water broke in the middle of the kitchen. They were currently facing Judge Hartwell. The man took his time reading all the information pertaining to the case: Scully's abduction, her pregnancy, her cancer, her remission and her sterility were documented. The whole thing was heartbreaking for her. She knew that she would have to revisit her darkest hours from the last four years. Miss Chambliss had given her recommendation to the judge and she had assured the couple that she thought that it was best for Emily to be raised by her own parents. It was just a matter of convincing the authorities. The judge cleared his throat and asked his first question: "Mrs Mulder, when did you discover you were unable to bear children?" She wasn't expecting him to begin with that and the question unbalanced her momentarily. She took a deep breath before answering. "Before my chemotherapy we consulted a specialist to have some of my ova stored. It was during these tests that we were told that I was sterile and, even if I survived the cancer, I would never be able to bear my own children. It was a devastating discovery." "Your doctor made a note that you had given birth but that you didn't give him any information about it. Why?" "I only discovered very recently that I'd given birth, and my doctor didn't ask me any questions about it. I have to admit it was disconcerting when I read this in my medical file, and at first I thought that it was a mistake; that my file had been mixed up with someone else's. Then, I found a personal journal that I had kept just before my abduction and in it I found entries that confirmed that I was indeed pregnant." "You were expecting Mr Mulder's child but you weren't married then?" "No but we were..dating," she said blushing, embarrassed. "Obviously. The blood tests confirm that Emily Sim is indeed your daughter. What I don't understand is how and why your baby was taken from you, Mrs Mulder. How until very recently you didn't even know of her existence. Furthermore, it puzzled me that, just as mysteriously as she was removed from your life, she is suddenly returned to it. It seems very convenient. A little too convenient." "It puzzled us too. I have no valid answer to give you. We have just discovered that we have a child and we want to be given the chance to raise her. We didn't willingly give her up. She was taken from us. I was abducted, it's all there in the file in front of you!" Scully said with a growing frustration. "Mr Mulder, if things had been different would you have raised Emily back then?" The judge went on, unmoved by Scully's outburst. He needed to have his questions answered. "Without doubt. Our relationship was burgeoning and although the pregnancy wasn't planned I would have raised my child. I would never have asked Dana to abort. A child is a gift." Mulder claimed, erasing any last remaining doubts Scully had. "Miss Chambliss seems to think that it would be best for Emily to be raised by her birth parents. Are you ready to take on this responsibility? Before you answer me, just think about it: she had parents who are dead now but she loved them. It will be difficult for her to adapt. It will be difficult to accept that you are her *real* parents. Are you ready to face that?" "We are." Answered Scully, convinced. "We understand that we can't tell her the truth yet. We are willing to wait until she is older and able to understand fully the exceptional circumstances surrounding her birth and the first three years of her life. All we want is a chance to be there for her. To give her everything she needs: love, a home, a family." Mulder squeezed her hand. She had stated the bare truth. Even if it wasn't easy to lie by omission, they couldn't tell a three year old the horrendous truth. She wasn't ready. She had to grieve for the Sims and then adapt to her new adoptive parents. It was important to create a safe environment for her. "You are both FBI agents, field agents. Your work is dangerous. Do you think that these jobs provide a suitable environment for raising a child?" "We have both asked for reassignment. Our boss, Assistant Director Skinner, is due to give us our new assignments in the next few days. We are both being removed from field agent status." "I worry that this rather hasty change in your jobs might cause some resentment towards Emily in the future." "On the contrary, we have been talking about this sort of move since Dana's remission. We wanted to slow down, to leave the danger behind. We have already paid our dues to the FBI. It's time for us to live for ourselves and our family. Emily will be our number one priority." "What about accommodation? Do you have space for a three year old?" "We have a spare bedroom in the apartment we are renting in Georgetown. When the lease is over, we'll get something bigger, maybe a house." "I see that money isn't a problem. You have savings Mr Mulder. I would be surprised if that sort of funding came from working for the FBI." "It's my father's money. I didn't have a use for it until now." His father's money was a sore subject for him. He always thought that it was blood money but maybe if he could do some good with it, it could redeem his father. Hartwell closed the files and pulled off his glasses. "All right. That's enough for now. I will give you my decision in the morning." They stood and left the office hand in hand. The hearing had been awfully quick. They hoped that they had made a good impression on the judge and that it was a good sign. They had another day to wait before knowing for sure. It would be another sleepless night of worry. They were surprised to find Maggie waiting for them. "What are you doing here, Mom? Is everything okay with Tara?" "Yes, she is fine. I just needed to be with you. I've prayed for you and asked God to give you a chance to get to know your daughter. You both deserve some happiness." "Oh Mom, thanks," Scully cried, throwing herself in her mother's arms. It was good to have her mother's support. It meant a lot that she had left the side of her only grandson to be there for her and Mulder. She was reconnecting with her mother at the same time that she was discovering that she, too, was a mother. It was a comforting feeling and it lifted her spirits. She felt her confidence coming back to her. She hoped it would be enough. San Diego Hall of Justice - Judge Hartwell's Office -January 3, 1998 After a night of worry and little sleep, they were back in Judge Hartwell's office. Maggie was waiting outside to support her only remaining daughter in her fight to get her baby girl back. It meant a lot to Mulder and Scully that she was being so supportive. Judge Hartwell was his usual detached self, rummaging through the files. He had taken the right decision he thought. He had reviewed all the evidence and decided it was all genuine. He had also made a call to A.D. Skinner to gain more insight into both agents' characters. The man had validated everything the Mulders had said. Hartwell was a thorough man and after checking everything, the decision was easy to make. He decided to stop playing with the nerves of Dana and Fox Mulder and cleared his throat. "After reading your files and checking all the facts, your case seems to be taken from a science fiction novel. Nonetheless, I feel that I have no right to deprive a little girl like Emily of her real parents, so I'm giving you temporary custody for now. You'll liaise with a social worker in Washington who will check on you each month and make a report to me. If after six months, all seems to be fine, you'll be given permanent custody." "Thank you," whispered a crying Scully. Mulder embraced her tightly and smiled through his tears. It was real; they were parents. "That will be all." The judge stood and shook hands with them. Mulder and Scully were so overcome with emotion that they were unable to utter a word. Once out of the judge's office, they turned toward each other, arms around each other's waist, tears in their eyes. "Congratulations, Mommy," Mulder whispered lowering his mouth to Scully. "Congratulations to you too, Daddy," she whispered back, just before their lips met in a warm and soft kiss. Maggie watched them from afar, understanding that God had granted her children the element of happiness that was missing to them. After they parted, she went to embrace and congratulate them. In the space of a few days, she had become grandma to a little boy and a little girl. Scully and Mulder were walking on air. They were starting a new year on a new basis. The last year had been nothing but suffering. This year held a promise of joy and fulfilment. The changes were already beginning and nothing would ever be the same again. Epilogue Mulder Residence - Alexandria - March 6, 2002 Dana Scully Mulder was thinking about the ten years that had passed since that fateful day she had met Fox Mulder. On paper, it hadn't seemed like a match made in Heaven. She was too scientific for his leaps of faith. She had been sent to debunk his work and initially he had resented her for that. Their first case had demonstrated that she was more open to the paranormal than he would have thought. She had also proven that she wasn't a little spy and that she would write exactly what she thought was right. The partnership soon became friendship. Friendship became love. She smiled, remembering that she had sworn to herself that she would never fall in love with the spooky, but handsome, Fox Mulder. She had been na ve to believe that she could resist him. She would never have imagined them married and parents to a seven year old girl. Life had changed since Emily had come into their lives. They were now living in a safe and quiet neighbourhood in a house they had bought a month after coming back from San Diego with Emily. The little girl had fallen in love with the little backyard and the upstairs bedroom that became hers. She had a wide bay window overlooking the garden which allowed her to keep a careful watch over her outdoor toys. With the Gunmen's help, Mulder had painted the walls of the room that Emily had claimed as hers, in pink, and put up a pretty border showing dolls holding hands. Scully had furnished it with beautiful white furniture and when Emily had seen it for the first time her smile had lit up the whole house. Upon their return from San Diego, Scully had been reassigned to the FBI Academy in Quantico where she taught Pathology, and Mulder had at first taken an open position, teaching psychology at the Academy, but soon found a better job at Georgetown University. He was still teaching but he had left the confines of the FBI and was closer to home, which allowed him to collect Emily from school every day. Father and daughter had formed a very tight bond. The X-Files had remained open. Two new agents were running it: John Doggett and Monica Reyes. A.D. Skinner's assistant, Kim, had said that they were a lot like Mulder and Scully: a sceptic against a believer. He had also hinted that there may be something going on in the basement because both agents were surely in love with each other. It was reassuring that their work hadn't been for nothing and that some people were still interested in finding the truth, whatever it was. As Judge Hartwell promised, 6 months after the first hearing they were granted sole custody of their little girl, allowing Emily to take her father's last name. Her birth certificate had been officially changed and nobody could even tell that she had been an adopted child. The previous year, they had finally revealed the truth to Emily. The little girl had taken the news well, as though it wasn't a surprise, as if she always knew. It had been a relief for both Mulder and Scully. It had been a constant fear for them to reveal her origins to their daughter. All went quite smoothly. Even Bill seemed to have buried the hatchet and was somewhat accepting of Mulder and Emily in the family. Maggie had probably had a hand in his new behaviour but as long as every family gathering was peaceful, nothing else mattered. Tara had given birth to a little girl three years after Matthew. She had been named Jennifer Margaret Scully. This birth, and the fact that Emily wanted a little brother, had awakened Scully's desire to have a baby, so they had started the IVF procedure. The first tries had failed, but the doctors weren't worried. Sometimes it was long in coming but it eventually happened. Today marked two weeks after another try at IVF and Scully was standing in the bathroom holding a pregnancy test in her hand. The "+" pink sign was glowing. She was pregnant. All her dreams were finally coming true. Two arms encircled her from behind. Mulder put his chin on her shoulder and saw the results of the pregnancy test. He was harbouring a smug smile, a kind of "I told you so" smile. They watched their reflections in the bathroom mirror. They were the poster couple for happiness. He put his hand on her flat belly. Soon, he would see her swelling, full with his child, full of life, full of promise for a future seven years ago they thought they'd never have. Location Unknown Two days later A man was sitting at his desk, reading an email on his computer. "Project started. Test positive. Due date November 20. Waiting for instructions." The Cigarette-Smoking Man smiled when he hit the delete button. His long wait was finally over. Soon, he would have the perfect subject in his hands, the one he had been working for. The End.