Title: When the Pawn: On The Bounds 
Author: Nialani    
Feedback: Most wanted, most adored.
Classification: MSR, angst
Rating: R 
Spoilers: If you didn't see the season premiere shame on you!          
Archive: Anywhere just keep my name on it          
Disclaimer: Me: I made this! CC: NO! I made this! Okay Chris you win! Don't 
sue! Lyrics by Fiona Apple  "On the Bounds" On her New Album: "When The Pawn"
Notes:  This is story  two of my When the Pawn series, the first story was "I 
Know". No luridness in this one but the next one there will be...I swear!

*****************************************
All my life is on me now, hail the pages turning
And the future's on the bound, hell don't know my fury
You're all I need, you're all I need, you're all I need 
You're all I need, you're all I need, you're all I need    
You're all I need-and maybe some faith would
Do me good
**********************************
7:00
Scully's apartment

I awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs coming from my kitchen and a distinct 
male humming. Then it all crashed back to me. Mulder. Me. Blow Job. Work 
today. And not to mention everything that was said. He loved me. I loved him. 
All was good and well with the world. Well, this small part of the world. 

"Well, if that's so Dana," my inner voice chimed in cheerfully, "why do you 
feel like you just made the biggest mistake of your life?"

I groaned and buried my head a pillow. 

"Why aren't I happy?" I mumbled my face still buried.  I heard a small gasp. 
I bolted up and there was a fully clothed Mulder standing at the foot of my 
bed, sweetly, with a plate of food in his hands. The smile the lighted his 
features seconds ago had vanished. So did the plate which fell to the floor.

"Mulder that's not what I meant."  What did you mean Dana? I don't know! I 
argued with myself.

He just shook his head and walked out slamming the door behind him.

Damn it!
________________________ 

7:30
Mulder's car.

"I knew this was going to happen," I thought as I drove to work. 

I had gotten up early this morning and I took a shower. I threw on my slacks 
and my shirt on from last night and went down to my car. I still had one good 
suit packed away in my suitcase. I came upstairs and put on my clean suit, 
then went to the grocery store. I was going to make her breakfast in bed. 
There's nothing better in the world to surprise your new lover with the 
morning after you first make love, than breakfast in bed. Well, other than 
more sex. But you see the more sex would probably have came tonight, but she 
screwed that up.

Why isn't she happy? Yeah, wouldn't I like to know! Why isn't she happy? I 
probably should have stayed to ask why, but I was too pissed for that. After 
all those declarations from last night and she still ain't happy! 

I just had to get out of there.  So to work I go. Hopefully, Skinner will 
take me in his office and shove a hot poker through my eye. It'll actually 
make me feel twenty percent better.  Nah, that's too much to ask. Well, I 
guess I have to suffer through with this broken heart.

My car screeched into the parking lot and I took the elevator to my floor. I 
basically stomped down the hall, went in my office and slammed the door shut. 
I'm being an asshole yes, but still... I'm pissed. 

I was alone and I missed Scully. My work partner, not the one I had oral sex 
with last night. She can stay right where she is for all I care. Seven years 
of all kinds of bullshit, we finally come together, and she still isn't 
happy. What does she want? 

"Well, asshole" my inner voice hummed, " if you would've have stayed to ask 
her what's wrong like a man, instead of dropping her food and leaving like 
some hurt little adolescent boy."

"Shut up." I mutter to myself.

"I hope that isn't directed towards me." A deep familiar smoky voice said.

"No, kiss my ass is directed towards you. " I said standing up, opening the 
door, and fanning cigarette smoke out of the office with a folder. God, of 
all the people today... "What do you want?"

"I came to apologize my dear boy." He said taking another drag of his 
cigarette.

"Oh! Okay," I laughed humorlessly, " apology not accepted. Get out!"

"Is that anyway to talk to your--" he began, but he picked the wrong damn day.

I pulled my gun, "If you say that you're my father again... I'll shoot you. 
If you don't get the hell out of my office before I count to five...I'll 
shoot you. One..."

"I guess I'll come back--"

"Two...
 
"Later when your not so--"

"Three."

"High strung."

"You're going to be waiting for a very long time....Four."  He left. I put 
away my gun. Damn him, why couldn't he be FleshEatingVirusman or 
Ebolavirusman, you know something that wouldn't take so long to be fatal. 

Damn her. Why can't I make her happy?

Damn me most of all. 

******************************
I don't know what I'm doing, don't know should I
Change my mind, I can't decide, there's too many 
Variations to consider
******************************

9:30
Hoover building, Agents Scully and Mulder's office

I didn't rush to work. Oh, I took my sweet time. I drove directly at the 
speed limit, I didn't try to race any lights. Nope, there was no rush at all. 
I knew he would be there all hurt and pouting and I was responsible for it 
this time. We had to talk, but work was not the place to do it. I knew that 
was a definite no no from the smell of cigarette smoke that assaulted me when 
I came into the office.

"You're late." He stated with no accusation. He was acting like nothing 
between us happened last night which was both a relief and a disappointment.

"Sorry, traffic." I mumbled. "Hey, you, maybe, want to get some lunch later." 
I asked sounding a little too desperate. I mean we really need to talk.

"We have a meeting with Skinner, but I think I could *squeeze* in you , I 
mean, squeeze you in." he said, with his usual innuendoes. I gave him my 
Scully smirk. This was way too weird. I was expecting that silent treatment 
at best. An unreadable Mulder, is a dangerous, Mulder.

That's how work was, business as usual. We went and saw Skinner, was yelled 
at, came back to the office, went over a new case, and then at around 12:30 
we decided to go out for lunch.

 Lunch, well that was completely different. That was the chore. That's where 
all the pretenses fell. Yup, the shit hit the fan during the entree. 

"Why aren't you happy?" he asked when we were finally seated in a booth and 
had ordered our appetizers and drinks. We were at this nice grill house 
located only a few blocks away from our building. This was a placed that 
totally lack romanticism. A place you would bring your co worker for lunch. 

I didn't answer him right away, but I looked into his eyes. He was angry and 
hurt. His eyes said more than his actions. To any casual observer he looked 
normal. Only I knew the pain that was inside.

"I had a lotta time to think about what I said this morning. And I realized 
that I am, in fact, happy, but I'm also terrified." I said honestly and 
carefully knowing that someone could be listening. "You know how I feel about 
you. It's a feeling I've kept hidden from you for years, Mulder. For a long 
time now all I have wanted was you and truth. Now I got you and well, I 
believe the truth isn't that far away. Now everything is here in front of me. 
I want you as everything Mulder, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid."

"But Scully last night you said--"

"I said I would fight Mulder. I didn't say I wouldn't be scared shitless 
while fighting." I sighed in relief when he took my hand under the table.

********************************
No thing I do don't do no thing but bring me
More to do,
It's true, I do imbue my blue unto myself,
I make it bitter

********************************

 It amazed me how easily my anger dissipated. As soon as she said she was 
afraid All I wanted to do is hold her, tell her things were okay and were 
going to be all right. I settled for her hand under the table because we were 
in public and to close to the Federal building any one of our superiors or 
enemies could see us.

"Scully, I'm scared too." I said, honestly. I just wanted to kiss her. I kept 
looking at her lips. Then that inner voice said:

"See she still wants to be with you, ya jerk. If you would have stayed there, 
ya would've found..."

"Scully you know how I feel about you. And I'm afraid that I won't be able to 
protect you. And I'm afraid that they will manage split us up somehow. I'm 
just as scared shitless as you are and I'm sorry I ran out this morning. When 
you said you weren't happy I thought you meant about what occurred last 
night." I said squeezing her hand. She squeezed back.

"What happened last night was wonderful. I would never regret that," she 
blushed," I was just frightened about immensity of our actions. The 
repercussions, but I wouldn't change it for the world."  I sat back in the 
booth, relieved. Our food came.

When the waitress left, Scully looked at me, "You can't run from me every 
time we have a misunderstanding." She said and I nodded. I felt low, really 
low. I reacted all wrong this morning. I should've had more faith in her--in 
us. I knew it was going to take time for us to adjust to all of this. This 
morning was a step in the wrong direction.

"Forgive me?" I asked, sincerely completely from my heart.

*****************************
Baby, lay your head on my lap one more time
Tell me you belong to me
Baby say that it's all gonna be alright

*****************************

"You're forgiven." I whisper. Then the smell of a familiar brand of 
cigarettes hit me again.

"Isn't this nice?" A voice said, I turned and yes that black lunged bastard 
was standing right beside me. I scooted further into the booth. Away from him.

"Didn't I make it clear that I had nothing to say to you! That I didn't want 
anything further to do with you. You nearly killed me you son of a bitch!" 
Mulder said between gritted teeth.

"That's no way to talk about your grandmother." He smiled finishing one 
cigarette and lighting another. "And besides I had to do what was necessary. 
It was killing you anyway." Mulder looked like he was going to attack.

"Say whatever riddle you have for us this time and leaves us the fuck alone." 
I practically yelled. Mulder looked shocked and Cancerman, well, he look 
pissed.

"Stay out of this little girl or you'll end up like before." He warned, 
referring to my cancer. Mulder rose and took my hand. He signaled to the 
waitress and she came over.

"He's paying for this." Mulder said referring to Cancerman.  "I'm warning 
you. Stay away from me and more importantly stay away from Scully." We  
walked away, but I could have sworn I saw him smile before we left.

****************************
I believe that it isn't

****************************

The end, Next up: TO YOUR LOVE