"Sweet Surrender"
by Lisa
danil001@bama.ua.edu 
Category: MSR
Rating: NC-17
Summary: An unexpected even on a case brings Scully and Mulder
together.
Feedback: Of course!
Author's Note: many thanks to Leyla who helped me with
comments, suggestions and positive feedback.

Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. They are the property
of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
No infringement intended.

"Let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek"
-Sara McLachlan
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was still shaking from the aftermath of the encounter earlier
today. The man that Mulder and I were chasing was a suspect
in a disappearance of a little girl. I chased him down the alley,
but he came out from behind a corner and grabbed me. His strong
arms imprisoned me - one around my waist and the other wielding
a long knife. Even now, I could still feel the cold steel blade
against my throat. The agents dropped their guns as he demanded.
Including Mulder. He had that scared look on his face again. It's
the look he probably had when I was taken. Helpless. Powerless.
He could do nothing for me.

I sit at his desk now trying to finish up my report. As the document
printed, I stood up to collect the papers and heard footsteps come
into the room. I had no doubt that it was Mulder. Turning around,
I saw him walk towards me. He stood in front of me searching
my eyes. My face. He reached up and touched my neck. Trailed
his fingers over the place where the knife held me captive. I searched
his face to give me some clue why he was touching me like this.
It revealed nothing except a haunted, fearful expression. It scared
me a little, but with what just happened, it was understandable. His
soft lips touched my cheek placing a light kiss on it which I hardly
felt, except Mulder never did anything like this before, unless, well
since I was in the hospital. My mind flashed to the hallway in
Allentown-Bethlehem Medical Center when he had comforted me after
Penny's death. His lips became bolder now, pressing them to my
hairline leaving light kisses in its wake. I could only stand here
and let him do this, as if I were glued to this spot unable to unstick
myself. The office was getting warmer by the minute.
The papers fell from my hands to the floor, unnoticed. Mulder
covered my lips with his gently. Cautiously.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him
closer to me. He got the message and deepened the kiss, exploring
my mouth with his tongue. I felt dizzy. My mind was spinning out
of control with just this kiss. But, then I heard something.
A sound. Ringing. Ringing close to me. Again. What was it?

Mulder pulled away from me and answered the phone. I then realized
what we were doing. Here. The office. I grabbed my coat and rushed
out of there, somewhat embarrassed. Anyone could have walked by the
opened door. The report I was hurrying to complete was forgotten.

******

It was late afternoon. Not dark yet. It was usually dark whenever
I got home. But, this was different. Not just another day on the job
for us. Highly stressful and emotional. I couldn't stop thinking about
the kiss. Why now? After all these years?

I think I loved him since the abduction. When he was at my bedside
handing me my favorite necklace. I realized how much he cared. How
much he had suffered when I was gone.

As I came to realize what they did to me and what I still didn't know,
Mulder was there. During the cancer, he was my strength when I had
none. Fighting for a cure for me when I couldn't. This was a comfort
to know he was out there even though I didn't share all my fears with
him. I should have told him a long time ago how much he means to me
and not just during my illness, but ever since I was assigned to the
X-Files. Since Mulder began to trust me and realize I wasn't one
of Them, he has been protective of me. At first I didn't like it, I
didn't want him to think I was weak and couldn't handle the demands
of this job. But, it was out of love. For me. What are we waiting for?

******

There was a knock at the door. I knew it was him. I opened the
door and Mulder walked into my apartment. Mulder looked at me and
noticed my clothing. I changed into a light green sweater and faded
jeans and my hair was pulled back from my face, different from my usual
style. He, as well, had on jeans but paired with a thermal shirt. The
first button was undone and I could see the dusting of hair on his
chest. He smelled good. Not like cologne, but something else I
couldn't describe. It invaded my senses immediately.

I was nervous. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what he
expected of me right now. So, I walked over to the kitchen,
putting more distance between us.

"Why did you leave?" he asked, coming closer to me.
"You had a phone call." I said, stating the obvious.
"Cut the crap, Scully." he raised his voice at me. I was scared.
Shocked, actually and a little hurt.
"I got scared. I wasn't expecting that." I said, turning to face
him. "We were at the office, Mulder." My voice became lower.
Mulder moved closer to me which backed me up against the counter.
His body was pressed close to me. I saw the desire in his eyes. Desire
for me. His hand reached out to unfasten the clip which held my hair
back. The spring in the large clip released itself with the slight
pressure applied by the man in front of me, falling free around my
face. Mulder framed my face in his hands and finally spoke:

"And now we're here." he said softly and added, "Alone."

I was fully aware of what he meant by that statement. He was
letting me know that this could go farther. I just needed to give him
the green light. The possibilities excited and scared me. I reached
up and caressed his cheek. "Tell me what's wrong, Mulder. Please."

"I . . . I just need to touch you, Scully." he stated.

His eyes had that haunted look again. However, I couldn't deny
him this request. I couldn't deny him anything. I felt his hands move
down and touch the sides of my breasts sending shivers down my spine.
They moved underneath to touch my skin, feeling cool against my warm
flesh. All of a sudden, the sweater was pulled over my head and off
of me. Mulder brushed his fingers lightly over the lacy cups of my bra.
"Mulder." I sighed.
Moving his hands away, he wrapped his arms around me holding me
tight. I didn't understand, but returned the unexpected embrace.
"I don't . . . I can't lose you, Scully. Not like that . . . not to a
madman with a knife." he breathed into my hair.
I moved my head up to look at him. "You won't. I promise." I
told him.
"I wish I could believe that. But, it's out of our control."
I searched his eyes, seeing the pain in them. I wished I knew
the words to say to make the hurt go away.
"There has been too many close calls, Scully." he began. "Too
many times you've been hurt or taken away. The next time could
be the last. You may never come back. I'll . . . I'll never see you
again." he finished, his eyes filled with tears.
I was afraid of the same thing. Afraid of never seeing Mulder
again and he wouldn't know how much I loved him. I took his
hands in mine. "I know. I'm afraid of that, too. but, that is the
risk we both take. The same could happen to you, Mulder. I . . .
I don't know how I'd handle that. I . . . don't know what it
would do to me." I felt the tears in my eyes as well.
Mulder looked at me with disbelief, almost as if he couldn't
believe that we agreed how much we cared for each other.
"Scully . . ." Mulder voice became serious. "I promise you
that if I can do anything I . . . I will protect you from whoever
or whatever tries to hurt you."
"I know you will." I said. "I will do the same for you."
He leaned down to kiss me with equal passion as before. I moved
closer to him wrapping my arms around his waist. Needing to feel
him next to me, next to my skin. My hands caught in his hair pulling
him to me in order to deepen the kiss. Mulder got the message and
his mouth became more demanding. The kisses became more feverish.
More hungry. We both stopped in order to catch our breath. After a couple
of minutes Mulder spoke.
"Scully, I want to show you how much I . . . how much I love you."
he said, extending his hand to me. "Will you let me?"
I didn't know what to say to that. It seemed like his eyes pierced
right through me, right to my soul. I could only nod in response and
follow his lead.

It was strange having Mulder in my bedroom. He had never been
in this room before except the time after his father was shot and he
was sick, delirious in fact. I took care of him. But, now was
an entirely different situation.

I looked up at him and the words just tumbled out. "I love you,
Mulder." His features softened as I said those words to him. I
wanted him to believe it. Believe what I said. And I was going
to show him just how much I meant them. I began to unfasten
my jeans. But, Mulder stopped me.
"Let me." he said softly. Mulder undid the jeans and slid them
down my hips and legs. I stepped out of the pants, kicking them
to the side. He moved his hands up and over my legs back up
to my waist. Caressing the soft skin of my back before unhooking
the clasp of my bra. I think he saw the uneasiness in my eyes.
"Are you OK?" he asked.
"Yes." I muttered, looking down at the floor.
"Scully, look at me." Mulder said. "Please."
I looked into his eyes and saw the concern in them. Concern
for me. "I know you trust me and that means everything to me. But,
I also want you to trust me in here." he said gesturing to the
surroundings. "I don't want to do anything that makes you feel
uncomfortable."
"I know, I know you won't do anything like that." I began. "I'm
just a little nervous." I sat down on the edge of the bed as if that
could relieve my nervousness.
"You don't have to be." he stated, sitting next to me.
"Of all the time I fantasized about this . . ."
"You fantasized about me?" Mulder asked unbelieving.
"Yes. Dana Scully has fantasies. But . . . but now it's really
happening." I said.
"I know, Scully. I know." he murmured, moving his hands to my
back again unhooking my bra and sliding the straps off my shoulders.
His eyes filled with desire as he looked at me. Pulling me closer, he
trailed soft, gentle kisses on my face, my neck. I closed my eyes
and just let go. The feeling of Mulder's mouth on me. On my skin.
But, I wanted him to feel this way as well.
I pulled the shirt out of his waistband and moved it up his chest
off his body with a little help from him. I moved my hands over
his skin, loving the feel of it under my fingers. Reaching up, I
started kissing his face, loving the roughness of it under my lips.
Moving down to his chest, I began to trail kisses as gentle as
the ones he graced me with a few moments earlier. I hear him
breathe my name.
He moves me down to the bed, lightly grasping my arms above my
my head. I am surprised by this, but unafraid. Mulder's mouth moves
down to my breast, his tongue circling my nipple and gently sucking. I can
only arch my head back on the pillows and pray he won't stop this sweet
torture. By the time he repeats the same movements to the other breast I
am lost. My mind is spinning out of control with the pleasure he is
giving me.
Mulder finally releases me and I reach for him, needing him close
to me; needing to feel his skin on mine. But, he moves down my body
and I feel him peel off my panties. Oh God. Oh God.
"Tell me what you want, Scully." he whispers to me looking into
my eyes.
I don't know what to say to that. I feel my heart beat so fast
I thought Mulder would be able to hear it. I was trembling with
anticipation as to what he was going to do. I didn't know what
to say. "I . . . want . . . just you, Mulder. Only you."
He kisses his way down my body. Stopping at my navel. I feel
his fingers tangle in the curls between my legs.
"Please . . ." I breathe.
Mulder moved his finger inside me gently. Slowly beginning to
stroke me. He increases the pace and pressure by slipping a second
finger into me, spreading my wetness around. I feel the moisture
seeping out of me and I close my eyes with the pleasure of it.
I hear myself moan, but I don't recognize it as my voice. The
moans become louder. More needy. I feel his fingers move
deeper inside me and my hips arch off the bed with each stroke
of his fingers until I shatter, calling out his name.
"Mulder . . . Mulder . . ." I say struggling to breathe. I hear
him move off the bed, the rustle of his clothing as he removes the
last barrier between us.
I reach for him as he returns to the bed, pulling him close to me.
He kisses me softly on this lips. "Please, now. I want to feel you
inside me." I whisper to him.
"Not yet." he tells me.
I feel his mouth kiss its way down my body, past my navel and
to my thighs. His breath is warm as he nuzzles between my legs.
"Mulder . . ." I begin to moan. He spreads my legs wider as he
begins to as his mouth moves over me. I feel his tongue inside me
moving over me with long strokes. My hands clutch as his hair,
twisting it in my fingers as I begin my descent to the edge. "Don't
. . . don't stop." I hear myself say.
My legs are lifted gently onto his shoulders and then Mulder
slips a finger back into me as his mouth continues to suckle at me.
I moan and writhe beneath him, grasping the bed sheets with my
hands. "Oh, God . . . Mulder, please. Please."
I cry his name out as the orgasm washes over me. The waves of
pleasure continue to ripple through my body. Mulder rains soft
kisses over my face as my body begins to stop trembling. I feel
his erection pressed against my leg and unconsciously move my
legs apart. I need him inside me. I want to feel us together. Really
together. As if reading my mind, he enters me slowly. Afraid he
will hurt me. But, he won't. I want him deeper inside me. I arch
my body up to let him know what I want. He pushes deeper into me.
I gasp with the intensity of it. The feeling of him - of us this
close. He begins to thrust inside me slowly and I see him bracing his
body on his arms, for fear of crushing me. Mulder's movements
become faster and deeper and I feel my muscles contracting. I am
about to go over the edge and want to take him with me.
I hear myself murmuring his name over and over again as I dig
my nails into his back. "Mulder!" I scream as another orgasm
rips through me.
One last push and he empties himself into my body. "Scully . ."
he moans into my neck before collapsing on top of me.
I wrap my arms around his back holding him close and tight to
my body for fear that it wasn't real, just another fantasy. I need
him close.
"No, not yet. I want to hold you longer." I whisper to him as
he begins to leave the warmth of my body. Mulder pulls out of me,
moving down to lay his head against my breasts. I stroke his hair
slowly as we both begin to recover from the intense lovemaking.
He looks up at me and I smile at him.
"I didn't think it could be that . . ."
"Amazing?" he asks, smiling back at me.
"Yes." I sigh.
Mulder moves off of me. "Come here." he says.
I move into his arms and lay my head on his chest. Laying like
this, I feel complete. Calm. Protected. Part of me can't believe we
had just made love. The other part of me couldn't believe we had
waited so long. How had I gone this many years without his touch?
His caresses.

I look up into his eyes and see in the love in them - the love we
have for each other.
That is the only comfort we need this night and always.


Well, what did you think? -L.