TITLE: The Nap (1/1) AUTHOR: ELSTONE E-Mail Address: ErinStone1@aol.com RATING: NC-17 CATEGORY: SRA SPOILERS: None Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Summary: Naps can be dangerous. Archive: Anywhere - just drop me a note and let me know. Disclaimer: Fox, Chris Carter and 1013 own them all. Please don't hurt me ... I have considered his mouth on many occasions. In weaker moments I have even shut my eyes and discretely pressed the back of my hand to my mouth - in an effort to taste the sweet smile he has just given me. And, I have done this with him working at his desk not six feet away. He is my friend, my conspirator, my savior. He loves me beyond reason- I know this to be true. But in our five years working with and sometimes breathing each other, he has never placed his mouth on mine. There are reasons. They are unspoken as of yet. For me, it's a fear that if our lips were to touch, emotion would well up like a hot tidal wave and sweep both of us onto a new level where we could no longer be what we are to each other. How could I let that happen if it were only to happen once. A mistake made to be worked around - muddy an impossible to resolve. There is always the "after" to think about. This morning, however, I have woken up with the phantom taste of him on me for the last time. This has gone on for months. I can't take another sweat laced dream of him slamming our office door, pulling me out of my chair, setting me down hard on his desk and nearly eating me alive. I will not wake up with my hand thrust between my legs seeking some relief from my want - reduced to someone with no control over herself - in order to simply regain the ability to walk each morning. I've decided that I have to take this risk to regain my sanity. The "after" will just have to work itself out. ___________________________________ "Hi." I try to sound tired. It isn't hard, I am tired. I spent most of my day in mundane meetings and it is nearly four o'clock. This is the first time all day I've seen our office. "Hey." He smiles and I wish he wouldn't. It makes him look like he's twelve. And, like Pavlov's dog, it makes me instinctively press the back of my hand to my lips. I try to quickly feign a yawn. His feet are crossed at the ankle, and perched on his desk. "How was your day?" I could have said anything and made perfect sense instead I asked an accusatory, "Why?" Up go the eyebrows, the smile disappears, concern or curiosity at the corners of his mouth instead. "No reason." I think I hear a "cranky-pants" whispered at the end of his comment as I cross the room to open the file cabinet. I then notice that he is moving items aside on his desk to get a look at his desktop calendar. I have always suspected that he keeps track of my menstrual cycles, but his last action had just confirmed it. "Don't tell me you're doing what I think you're doing." I should be sounding angrier. "Can you blame me?" He says guiltily. I'm too tired to launch into a tirade. I simply say "no." "Wanna talk about it?" I consider the question carefully. The memory of the dream that pulled me from sleep washes over me in a hot rush. I summon my last nerve and answer, "Yes I do." He's shocked. I smile to myself at his surprise, barely keeping it inside. He is so used to me shutting him out that he's knocked way off balance. I like this. I like the feeling of control. It's time for a little revenge. He's been knocking me off balance for years now - after all. I give him no more recovery time, "Are we up for anything else today? Any case files, meetings, field reports to write?" Still trying to catch up he says, "Nothing that can't wait until Monday." What a blessing - I had no idea it was Friday. "Good, let's get out of this basement and take a drive." _______________________________ Government issue automobiles are the best part of this job. No choices to be made about color, fabric, or detailing - and they all come with the standard amenities. "Can I turn on the air conditioner? I can't seem to cool down." I knew after I said it I had left myself wide open for one of his goofy innuendoes, but none came. "That's fine, whatever you need is fine." Uh oh, we've got some genuine concern here. He's worried. And instead of asking what's wrong he's so thrown off that he's treating me gently and waiting for me to open up. I glance at him to see his brow furrowed with concern. He thinks something happened to me last night. Suddenly I feel very guilty. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm having trouble dealing with something and I'm a little edgy." "Can you tell me about it?" Sure, you have to stop ravaging me in my sleep. "It's difficult, to say the least." He flashes me a grin that makes my knees shake, "Would it be less difficult out of the car?" "Well yes, I guess it would." "Your place or mine?" Again that smile, his face soft with sincerity and innocence. He really is worried. "Mine, I've got air." ________________________________ I can't, for some god-awful reason, make my key open the door. My hand is shaking and I drop my keys with a jangle onto the carpeted floor in front of my apartment door. He bends down and snaps them up, pulls the correct key out of the line up, and expertly unlocks my door. Giving me a shrug he hands the keys back. My apartment is blessedly cool. I walk into the living room and unclip my gun and badge, laying them on a table near the computer along with the keys that just betrayed me. He's standing behind me. In a flash I imagine his hands sliding around my waist, his lips on the back of my neck. His soft voice pulls me back. "At the risk of sounding patronizing, I wonder if you should lie down and take a nap." He winces at the look I give him over my shoulder but bravely goes on, "Hear me out. You could lie down for a while and I'll go get some groceries. By the time you get up dinner will be ready and we'll both feel better. I don't know about you, but I'm starved." A reprieve from talking to him about my dream cycles is too much of a temptation. "You know what?" Deep breath, "you're right, I'm wiped out. A nap and dinner sound good to me. Will you get some wine too?" "Absolutely. And then, after you're rested and fed we'll talk, right?" "Yes", (maybe), "I think I'll take a quick shower too." "Perfect, see you when you wake up." He made for the door. "Hey!" I say suddenly. He turned with panic in his eyes to face me. "Thanks Mulder." His relieved smile is liquid, "You bet." And he was out the door. I took my second cold shower of the day and slipped into bed in just a T-shirt and shorts, my hair still wet. I'm sure that my hair hadn't completely dried when I fell asleep. When he came to me in my dream this time it was in my own apartment. I awoke to the sound of the icemaker working in the kitchen. My eyes adjusted to the soft light of the bedroom and I noticed a glass of red wine on my nightstand. Hallelujah amen. Just what I need. The first few sips feel like life's blood as the wine runs down my throat. I'm trying to remember the dream of him. Relieved to have woken up without moaning his name and my hand between my legs for the first time in weeks. I'm not sure why I didn't have my hand in its accustomed 'wake-up' position, the dream certainly intended me too. My shorts bear evidence to this intent. Trying to place the fragments of the dream together I close my eyes and remember - his full lips, his warm hands on me, something about seeing just the top of his head, oh god, my hands in his hair, my hips rocking against that pouting mouth... "Remember me Dorothy? It's your old pal Huck." I start violently at the sound of his voice. Then, realizing what he has said I start laughing. "Was I out for a long time?" "Well, it's about 9:30 now, that makes yours an impressive four hour nap. Feel better?" "Mmm, much." He's dressed in sweatpants and a tee shirt. He looks edible. Before I edit the comment like I should, I make it, "You look mighty cute in that. I think I've only seen you in suits and jeans before. I like this look on you." The intimacy of my comment turns his face scarlet. Whoops. "So Julia, what's for dinner? It smells good, whatever it is." Lame cover- up, but it's all I can do to get the words out. The look on his face tells me that it's not going to work. "You think I'm cute?" Oh shit. "I said, do you think I'm cute Agent Scully?" The air in my lungs is gone. My head is suddenly very heavy and my chin falls to my chest. I close my eyes, feeling very exposed. I feel him close to me as he sits down facing me on my bed. I can smell his warm skin. I'm unable to talk. All my intentions completely lost to me now. His fingers are on my chin, lifting it with light pressure to face him. "Open your eyes." "No." Finally a word comes out. I bite my bottom lip. "Please?" There is something in his voice that I haven't heard before. Whatever it is, it's making me weak. Slowly, I open my eyes to look at him. His thumb and forefinger still rest gently on my chin. "Are you considering answering my question at all?" "No." "Why? Have I embarrassed you? Or is it that you don't really think I'm cute?" I look down again; his fingers drop from my chin. "I don't think you're cute Mulder." I say it so softly that I can feel him strain to hear me. He sighs heavily and starts to get up from the bed. I quickly take hold of his hand and I pull him nearly on top of me. His face is an inch from mine. "What is it?!" His eyes are flashing anger now, and something else. Realization seems to seep into his mind and he smiles slightly. "Do you think I'm cute Scully?" Oh god - he's playing with me now. "Do you?" It's an insistent whisper that makes my head spin. I don't answer him. "Do you dream about me? Is that why you moan my name in your sleep - Scully?" Blood is pounding in my ears now. My god, I did call out, what else did I do? He goes on, "Do you feel my hands on you, my mouth on you? Do you have dreams like I do Scully, dreams about you that make it impossible for me to sleep? Dreams that make me come without ever touching myself?" He is so close to me now that I feel his hot breath on my lips. My whole body is burning and I can feel the tidal wave rising to engulf us. "I'll ask you one more time." He is so close. His voice is low and intense and I can't hold out much longer. "Do you think I'm cute?" Knowing that I can't look him in the eye and confess, I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and pull him close. I put my mouth to his ear. I find my voice and the wave sweeps me up, my whisper is deep and I speak slowly. "I've been having dreams about you." I pause, my lips have touched his ear and the contact is painfully intimate. The realization that this is Mulder makes me shake. "I can tell you exactly what I think Agent Mulder." My heart is swelling in my chest. "I think you're lips were made for me to lick. I think your back would look best with my legs wrapped around it. I think the taste of you would be better to me than anything you could cook. I think I fell in love with you a long time ago. And yes, Mulder, I think you're cute." His turn to have trouble breathing. He whispers softly into my ear, "Jesus". "Let me tell you something more. I think it's time for you to know all of this. I wake up with my hand between my legs, touching myself, sliding my fingers in and out. I suppose I could come without the benefit of that touch, Mulder, but I want to feel the wetness you create in me, I need to feel it." "God Scully...my god." I pull back to look at him. His pupils are dilated, his lips are parted. I can feel his erection on the thigh of the leg I have closest to him. I have reduced him to the very thing he has made me during my dreams. He knows now. The overwhelming feeling, the connection, the intensity. "You could feel it now, Mulder, if you were to touch me. I dreamt about you during my nap. The wetness is pooled inside me, overflowing, because of you - waiting for you." His eyes never leave mine, but his is shifting his weight, pulling the covers away from me. He has me uncovered and gently pulls my shorts down, carefully, slowly, staring into my eyes all the while. That done, he lies next to me on the bed and drapes his sweatpant-covered leg over my bare one. He is running his hand over my belly, pushing my T- shirt up, out of his way. I decide I don't need it, and sit up to strip it off. And there we are, Mulder, fully dressed with his leg parting mine, and me, naked, pinned, and wet, very wet. He smoothes his hand gently over my belly again, then over my hip bones. I am feeling worshipped, the stroking is slow, deliberate. "Tell me about the dream you had while you were napping today Scully." The low, deep, smoky timbre of his voice, and the words he says makes my hips jerk inadvertently. "It was a lot like this. We were here... in my bedroom." The heel of his hand rests gently where the skin of my stomach and my pubic hair meet. He slowly drags the heel down over my clit, using gentle pressure, then back up, spreading me with his palm and finger while still pressing the heel of his hand against me. The feeling is overwhelming. He repeats it over and over again while I try to speak. "You, you were licking me Mulder. Slowly...ahhhhhhh ... in circles. I had.... god... my hands in your hair. Oh god...please don't stop that, it's perfect Mulder... perfect... your hands were on my ass, and you made me come.... over and over... like you're doing now.... oh god..." His fingers suddenly sink into me, two maybe three, and he is pounding me with them, ramming me, and I come hard. I feel a gush seep out of me, onto his palm. He is whispering in my ear, "yes baby, yes... come on me... god I love that, I can't believe how beautiful you are... do you need more?" And he's pounding again, making me moan and arch under his driving fingers... "oh god, you are stunning... so beautiful... let it go for me Scully... trust me and let it go ...I love the way you look when you come ... I love you Scully...I love you. And again it happens, more gushing, all over his hand, and the sheets, and the inside of my thighs. I feel myself come harder than I ever have and I can't believe it... After I stop trembling, he slowly removes his fingers and gently cups me. Tears stream down my face. "What is it?" He's holding me tight to him, rocking me. Whispering, "Mulder, I am absolutely devastated... by the love I feel for you. No one has ever, will ever, make me do what you just did to me." Now he is crying too. I feel his chest heave, as if with a sob, and he looks anguished. "Oh Scully... I am so in love with you, and I have been for so long. Tonight you have blown me apart ....put me back together Scully... save me...please... " I know what he needs to hear. I kiss his brow, hold his face in my hands and look into his eyes. "I love you Mulder. I'm yours and I love you." Part Two: "What is it?" He's holding me tight to him, rocking me. Whispering, "Mulder, I am absolutely devastated... by the love I feel for you. No one has ever, will ever, make me do what you just did to me." Now he is crying too. I feel his chest heave, as if with a sob, and he looks anguished. "Oh Scully... I love you. Tonight you have blown me apart ...put me back together Scully... save me...please... " I know what he needs to hear. I kiss his brow, hold his face in my hands and look into his eyes. "I love you Mulder. I'm yours and I love you." Cry - that is all we can do. We are beyond the threshold of human emotional response. I try to stop, but I can't. And - he can't either. But then, because of some mysterious, wonderful emotional balancing mechanism - the crying turns to laughter. I try to think of what this would look like to someone looking in from outside. A man, fully dressed, and a woman, butt ass naked, lying in each other's arms, sobbing - then laughing. It's a scene straight out of a Tarantino movie. I spread out on the bed and stretch like a cat. Languid, feeling sated for the first time in months. Strike that - years. Mulder is smiling. He runs his fingertips down the inside of my arm, down my side, down my hip, and stops when he comes to his own leg, still covering mine. "Hey, you're naked." "Good eye Mulder." He giggled. Actually giggled at that comment. That's amazing. "Hey. Will you turn over for me?" I want to say 'no'. I want to get him undressed. There are parts of him I've wanted to examine up close for a long time now. But, then, we have all the time in the world don't we? I tap his thigh, smile and say, "You'll have to move this." I'm unpinned and roll over onto my stomach, putting my hands, palm down, under my head. "Ahhh. Now this is what I've wanted to see since the first day I met you." "What would that be?" "This spot. Right here. Bare." And he ran his hand over the dip in my back just above my ass. "You know that spot pretty well already, don't you?" "So you noticed that huh?" "Yeah, I noticed. Every single time you touched me, I noticed. There, in that spot, and anywhere else. My arm, my face, wherever you touched me, believe me Mulder, I noticed." "Mmmmm. God, I love you." I smile against my hands. "Can I have this spot?" "You mean have have?" "Yeah." "I suppose so. But you'll be responsible for it's care and cleaning." "No problem." "And you'll have to pledge an oath to keep it safe and healthy as long as you live." "OK." "Repeat after me: I Fox Mulder." "I Fox Mulder." "Special Agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, working in Washington, D.C. and all continuous states." He laughs, "Special Agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, working in Washington, D.C. and all continuous states." "Do solemnly swear." "Do solemnly swear." "To guard and protect, to the best of my ability, the area commonly referred to as the 'dip' in the back of one Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully." "To guard and protect, to the best of my ability, the 'dip' commonly referred to as Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully." For that he receives a well-placed punch in the arm. And, a very undignified fit of laughter. "You're a funny guy." "And you," He kisses his newly acquired spot, "are a naked lady." I arrange myself to a sitting position next to him. "Time to show the lady what she's won Johnny." I tug at his t-shirt. "Alright." He stands and takes his clothes off. "My my. Would it change your opinion of me if I mentioned how many times I'd pictured you like this?" He laughs. "Where would you like me?" "How bout here?" I pat the spot next to me. "On your tummy, please." "Gonna claim a spot?" "Maybe." He eases himself down onto the bed, carefully arranging himself to avoid damaging his erection. "Ah Mulder, you really have a beautiful body." I straddle the backs of his thighs, just below his ass, and stretch myself out to lie on top of him. "Mmmmm. That feels incredible." He turns his head and watches me in the floor length dressing mirror I have set up in the corner of the bedroom. "Would you like me to rearrange the mirror, or are you able to see from there?" "I can see from here." His voice is ragged, deep. The fact that he can see what I'm doing makes it all the more erotic. Into his ear I whisper, "You have an incredible ass Mulder." I slowly start to rub myself against him. Soon there is wetness glistening in the crack of his ass. My clit gets unbearably hard and I know he must be able to feel it. "Can you feel me? Can you feel what you do to me?" His answer is a moan. I sit up and put the palms of my hands on his lower back. The change in pressure causes me to come immediately. My legs clamp around his hips and my body is convulsing against him, seeping wetness down his crack, onto his balls. My hair is in my eyes, but I can see well enough to catch his expression in the mirror. Lust. Pure, deep, shattering lust. Then he is moving, flipping under me and positioning his cock between my legs. He has me by the hips, positioned over him. Looking into my eyes he slowly enters me. I am swooning, an actual swoon. I feel something behind my eyes burst with light. Blinded - my eyes tightly closed. He is so smooth, so big. And deep. His name is all I can think. So I say it. Over and over. He sits up and turns us over so that I am on my back. Then he begins to slowly fuck me. Out of my very mind. He never speeds up. Slowly fucking until he starts to come. My name exhaled with his breath in every thrust. And he keeps moving in and out of me as he spurts. I have lost count of the times I have come around him. I suspect it was continually. I'm draped over him like a blanket. His hands are running through my hair. He is massaging my scalp - my neck, then my shoulders... and I quietly slip into a dream. Part 3: When I wake up, I can feel the warm body underneath me. My head is tucked under his chin; my legs are tucked in the 'v' of his; my hands tucked under his back. There is elation brewing in my chest. I squeeze him and let out a slow 'ohhhhhhh', softly against him. I whisper, "I adore you. I love that you're here in my bed." He squeezes me back. His hands run up and down my body. "Why did this take us so long Scully?" "I was waiting on you, frankly." "Me?" "Yep, waiting for you to hop on the 'clue bus' Mulder." "Clever." "Pick up the 'clue phone'." "Very nice." I smile at him and slip off of his chest. I lie on my side with my back to him, and wiggle myself into his body until he turns on his side too and presses his chest to my back. "You know, it would be impossible for me to be with anyone but you. You've tainted my expectations on commitment and relationships. No one else could ever measure up." "Really?... Why's that?" "Well, lets consider our courtship." He is rapt now, cuddled up against my back, waiting to hear what it is about him that makes him the only one. "No other man would, say, let me shoot him." "Good point." "Or, you know, snatch me from the grip of a serial killer with a penchant for coveting women's hair and nails." "True, true." "Then of course there's the suicide/cure for cancer thing you arranged. You really saved my ass there." "Well, ya know, I do what I can." He kisses my neck, then my ear. "And that trek across the Arctic, when you nearly froze to death, just a few months ago, remember that?" "You mean that time with the big alien ship? When you were submerged in, ah, let's see... the green viscous stuff?" "Ya, ya. You definitely went the extra mile on that one." I feel him shrug, "I guess..." "Are you seeing the pattern here Mulder? Kinda pales in comparison to a guy picking up my dry cleaning or doing the dishes after I make dinner. Know what I mean?" He laughs. "I see what you're getting at." Then, in a flurry of movement he yells, "Son of a bitch! DINNER!" And he's springing out of bed, grabbing his sweat pants and struggling to get into them... making for the kitchen. I glance at my clock and see that it's 5:13 a.m. Seconds later he appears at the bedroom door. "Hungry?" "Is it okay?" Do I really want to know? "It's been simmering for 8 hours." He smiles. "It may not be okay, but it's definitely DONE." "What was it?" I'm sitting on the bed with my knees pulled up, covered with the sheet. "It used to be spaghetti sauce. Now it's more of a polymer like building compound... kinda... substance." He pauses. "Like." I can't help but laugh. "Hmmmm. Do I need to look for a new apartment?" "No, fortunately I left the lid on." He says, as he walks into the bedroom. "Well, I have to admit I'm hungry. Should we go out and get something to eat?" He sits on the side of the bed. "Good idea, I'm starved". And he looks away, smiling to himself. "What are you smirking about?" "I need to tell you something Scully." "What is it?" He smiles at me, sweetly. God, he looks so happy. "It's true that I have had fantasies about you for years. Intense ones. They always included, well, physical things, but they went beyond that too. I always thought about what we would be like after we finally made love. I imagined us doing even simple things like going to breakfast. Going shopping together." He raises his hands to my face and holds it between his palms. "I imagined you looking at me like you're doing now." I can feel tears welling in my eyes. He's saying things that I could repeat to him, about him, word for word. "There are things I wanted you to show me about you that I knew I could only see after I told you I loved you. This probably isn't making any sense at all," he sighs, "but I wanted to watch you get ready for work. I wanted to see you sort laundry. I wanted to watch you curled up on your couch reading. I guess what I'm saying is that I wanted... IN. I wanted to be present in the parts of your life that are a mystery to everyone else, including me." His thumbs are running over my cheeks as he continues. "And now you've let me IN. And I'm overwhelmed by your feelings for me, by your openness, and the unselfish way you give yourself to me." He drops his hands from my face and lays them on my legs. He lowers his eyes to my lap. I see a tear drop land on the sheet between his fingers. "All I can think of to say," he raises his eyes again, looking deeply into mine. Tears stream down his cheeks and he is slowly shaking his head from side to side, he glances down quickly, then back into my eyes. "is thank you. But its not enough Scully." His eyes squint slightly with what? Pain? His mouth quivers, "Not nearly enough." I put my hands on either side of his neck, pulling his head close, onto my shoulder. My tears run into his hair, down the back of his neck. "Ohhhh." I have to close my eyes. I'm drowning in his words. Unbelievable. I never knew I could feel this much. Feel anything... this much. "You are such a treasure to me." I have an arm around his back, stroking him. "That is the most beautiful thing anyone," I swallow against the tide of emotion that makes it so difficult for me to speak, "has ever said to me." "Don't ever leave me." "I never will." We sit like that, for a while, a long while, recovering. The silence between us is broken when his stomach growls. "Scully?" "Hmmm?" "I'm starved." "Me too." "Take me to breakfast?" "You got it." "I love you - have I mentioned that already?" "You have." "Good." "That works out well, actually, because I love you too." "Only seems fair." "Yeah Mulder. Only fair." The End