TITLE:    TO SEDUCE OR NOT TO SEDUCE
AUTHOR:   DONNILEE
E-MAIL:   DONNILEE@SNET.NET
CATEGORY: MSR
RATING:   NC-17
SPOILERS: Little itty, bitty ones for All Things, Never
Again,  Tithonus
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Chris Carter, Ten
Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting.  Used here without 
permission,
shamelessly and without remorse!  No pennies from heaven, just 
mind candy.

SUMMARY:  Mulder changes Scully's cynical ideas on the
benefits of seduction.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Here's another stand alone - another idea
that wouldn't leave me alone.  I know, I know - sequels, you want
sequels!  I promise they're coming! (Bows head sheepishly.)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PART 1 (PG-13)
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
BASEMENT OFFICE
FRIDAY - 12:15 PM

We sat eating lunch at our desks, when the unfamiliar sound of my 
partner giggling reached my ears.

"What's so funny?" I asked, looking over at my partner giggling as 
she read an article in Cosmo magazine while sucking on a Tofruiti 
stick.

My eyes were caught by her lips wrapped around that snack and I 
shivered. She stopped, her eyes sliding sideways and looking at 
me. She slowly removed the ice cream like snack from her mouth, 
dragging her lips over it.  She might as well have had her mouth on 
my dick, the way it jerked violently from the phantom image and 
hardened.

It was all I could do not to groan out loud. Instead, I swallowed 
hard, choked on my spit and ended up coughing behind my arm.

Her eyes were lit with mischief when I looked back up. "You 
O.K.?" she asked casually.

I nodded. "You didn't answer my question."

She seemed to ponder whether or not to answer and then said, 
"This article is about how to seduce the man of your dreams."

"And you were giggling over it?"

"Yes."

"Why, what does it say?"

"Oh, it's talking about candle lit dinners, and teasing and flirting, 
etc., wearing sexy lingerie."

"Why is that silly?"

She looked at me, her smile dropping off her face. "Well, it's been 
my experience that seduction is not necessary, not by the female 
anyway."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I mean, I think it's usually the guy that needs to seduce the 
woman."

"So, rather than seduction, what would you do if you wanted to get 
laid?" Her mouth dropped open for a second, but she must have 
seen the challenge in my eyes. I wondered if she would answer.

"I guess I'd just ask," she said finally. "Or make a pass at him, put 
it out there, you know?"

"How?" I was a little alarmed at how my voice had dropped an 
octave without my permission.

She looked at me again, coloring slightly. "What do you mean, 
how?"

"I mean, how would you ask? What would you say?"

She was silent a moment and then said, "Why do want to know 
this?"

"I'm curious.  A glimpse into the mind of the mysterious female 
gender."

"Curious?"

"Well yes, and it's always good to know it if someone is hitting on 
you.  This way I'll be able to recognize it if it ever happens again.  
But mainly, I'm just curious."

"Just curious, huh?"

"Yeah, I mean, what would you say? 'Hello there, you look nice. 
Wanna fuck? or ..."

"Mulder!"

"Well?" I put my most innocent expression on, knowing she wasn't 
buying it.

"I would hope I could be a bit more ... tactful and elegant than 
that."

"Mmm, you are elegant." The compliment slipped out.

She had looked away, but now turned to me again. "How did we 
get into this conversation?"

"You giggled over the idea of having to seduce a man."

"Oh yeah. So, you're saying women should seduce them?  Even 
though it isn't necessary?"

"I don't know. It would be nice."

"What do you mean, nice?"

I looked at my lap, hoping my partial erection wasn't showing. I 
shifted to better cover the evidence. "You're right.  There aren't too 
many men that would turn down a blatant invitation for sex, as 
long as they are single, and many of them who aren't, for that 
matter."

I paused and looked up at her. She nodded, then waved her hand as 
if to say, 'Go on.'

"But that's not always the case.  Some men are very selective.  And 
women aren't the only ones who like romance, you know?  Some 
guys enjoy that too. Men like to be teased a little too, as long as 
they aren't going to be left hanging. Pardon the pun."

She literally looked bewildered now. "Do you like romance, 
Mulder?" she asked quietly.

"I think so.  From what I remember, yes, it was very nice. It's been 
so long now though, I've forgotten what it's like to have a woman 
want me that way," I admitted just as quietly.

She frowned and I looked away again, feeling rather pathetic. She 
broke me out of my contemplation when she said, "So you're 
saying that although you would accept a blatant invitation, you 
would prefer to be seduced."

I looked  at her again. "Yes, but I wouldn't accept a blatant 
invitation from just anyone, contrary to common belief.  Some of 
us in the male gender aren't whores, you know?  We don't ALL 
think with our dicks.  Some of us can ignore our libido in the 
interest of ... better things."

She tilted her head as if that was the most curious thing I could 
have said.

"Why not? Isn't it much more of a physical thing for men?"

"Maybe, maybe not, but that doesn't mean that we wouldn't enjoy 
knowing that a woman went through the trouble of trying to 
impress us. Knowing that she wanted us enough to make the effort 
... to cook dinner ... to tease a little.  It doesn't mean that its 
ALWAYS all PHYSICAL.  We do have minds, you know? Some 
of us find brains and wit and strength as attractive as a well curved 
body."

I couldn't hold her gaze. We were talking hypothetical on the 
outside, but we both knew we were talking about me ... and her. It 
was a bit surreal. There was definitely a tease in her voice now. 
"Do you like to be teased, Mulder?"

I met her gaze. "To a point. It's fun for a little while, but then ..."

"Then?"

"Then it becomes frustrating and painful.  Like I said, a little is fun 
and nice.  But if you're left hanging ... no guy likes blue balls, and 
that's frustrating to say the least.  You can be an awful tease, you 
know?." I managed to say that with a straight face. Her ice-cream 
had melted where she sat it down on the paper wrapper when we 
started this discussion.

"I am not! I've never teased as a rule.  I like being up front," she 
stated.  Was that a clue?  Was that a hint that I should just be 
straight forward with her?

She bent over and picked up the soggy treat and lapped some up 
into her mouth, her tongue swaying back and forth over the paper 
and then into her mouth as she licked it off the paper. She 
crumpled up what remained and tossed in the trash. This time I 
couldn't suppress a little swallowed moan that escaped.

She looked up sharply and then swallowed slowly, licking her lips 
afterwards. "THAT," I said thickly, "is a total tease."

Her eyes widened and she asked, "A woman eating?"

"YOU eating ... like that.  Licking off that paper, licking your lips.  
Don't tell me you don't know how stuff like that affects men."

She scrunched her brow, clearly not understanding. I continued, 
realizing she really didn't know!  "Sucking on that Popsicle, 
Scully, dragging your lips over it almost absent mindedly,  licking 
that up like you just did. You've got a beautiful mouth, Scully.  
You've got beautiful, full lips.  What's a guy's favorite thing? 
Think about it for a minute."  I paused.  "I'm glad you aren't doing 
it on purpose, but I'm not a eunuch for Christ's sake!"

It was the first time, I'd blatantly referred to her since this began. I 
watched her carefully and was surprised when I saw her breathing 
quicken slightly. She turned her head but not before I saw her 
tongue dart out of lick her lips again.

"Thank you ... about the ... mouth thing.  I didn't ... realize ... that 
affected you ... uh, men.  Why are we talking about this?"

"You asked, I answered. If you don't want the answer, Scully, don't 
ask."

She cleared her throat. "So you would relieve your needs if the 
opportunity presented itself, if some chick offered, but you'd rather 
have romance and a ... relationship."

"Of course I would rather have romance and a relationship. And 
no, *I* wouldn't just relieve my needs with any woman that 
offered.  Not that anyone has in recent history. Maybe when I was 
young, but not anymore."

She grinned. "Why not? Because you're older, wiser and more 
responsible, now?"

"No, because I'm in love with someone." The words spilled out of 
my mouth quickly and I immediately wished I could take them 
back, but it was too late.

She stared at me for several moments and then turned away. "What 
do you mean?"

I was treading on very shaky ground here. "I didn't mean to say 
that."

"You didn't mean it?"

"No I said I didn't mean to SAY it."

"But you did."

"Yes, unfortunately."

"Why unfortunately?"

"Because now you want an explanation."

"Yes, I do." I peered at her in the dim light and I wasn't sure, but I 
could swear her eyes were unnaturally wet. Jesus, was she going to 
cry?

"Scully, when you're in love with someone, truly in love, you're 
faithful to them without even trying.  Not because you're a paragon 
of virtue, but because you simply don't want anyone else.  No one 
else turns you on. No one else attracts you.  Every other person is 
compared to the one you love and they fall short."

"That's not always the case, especially for men." She wasn't 
listening to me.

"It is for me."

She turned her head slowly. "You're faithful, even if that person ..."

"Doesn't love you back?" I asked softly.

She nodded. "Or if they aren't ... in your life ... that way?"

"Even then," I said softly.

"So you're in love, huh?"

I swiveled my chair around and faced my desk. I was silent. I was 
fairly certain it was a rhetorical question. The tension was thick in 
the room. I could tell she was perversely repelled and attracted by 
this conversation we were having.

She finally broke the tense silence. "So how long have you been in 
love, Mulder?"

I still didn't look at her and took a deep breath. "A long time, 
Scully. Too long."

"Too long?"

"Too long without saying anything. Too long hiding it. Too long 
wanting her and not touching her.  Too long without ... romance in 
my life. Too long ... just everything. It's been too fucking long."

"You've been faithful to this person?" I snorted internally at our 
return to the third person, talking as though I could possibly be in 
love with anyone else.

"Yes."

"How long?" she asked again.

I examined my desk blotter, wondering whether to answer and 
whether to continue this conversation at all.  We were venturing 
into very dangerous territory.  I'd kept my feelings for her well 
hidden.  My next thought was, 'What the hell?'  "About five years 
or so, I guess."

She gasped loudly, the sound circling the room for a moment 
before dying. Silence descended again. After a couple of minutes, 
listening to our breathing, she said, "You've been without ..."

"Sex?" I prompted, not being able to help the smile that came to 
my face at her reluctance to say the word.

She cleared her throat. "Yeah. For five years, Mulder?"

I nodded, but then peeked at her, realizing she wasn't looking at 
me. "Not with another person anyway," I joked.  "My right hand 
and I are intimately acquainted, however."  I couldn't resist.  
Humor was my defense mechanism.   I heard her chuff a breath of 
amusement.

But suddenly, I wanted her to look at me. I wanted her to see it on 
my face. I wanted her to take a good long, hard look at what she 
saw there when I dropped the mask.  I wanted to jerk her out of her 
denial.  It HAD been too long.  And I was tired of waiting.

"Scully," I said her name softly.

"What?"

"Look at me." I turned my chair sideways to face her again. She 
turned her head slowly and locked her gaze with mine. For the first 
time without being sick or injured, I dropped the mask.

"Look at me and tell me what you see."  My eyes blinked slowly as 
I watched her mouth, saw her tongue licking her lips again. Her 
breathing was rapid and shallow. I let my eyes travel down over 
her torso and down her firm calves and back up again.

I felt the usual desire for her wash through me and I hardened 
between my legs, beginning to tent my slacks.  I made no attempt 
to hide it. I let her see, my heart hammering furiously as I felt my 
eyelids become heavy. I licked my lips and continued to watch her, 
watching me.  My mouth was dry as a bone.

Finally I met her eyes again and locked mine on hers, letting the 
love and admiration and passion I felt for her show. I made no 
attempt to slide my poker face on. What had made me brave at that 
moment, I don't know.  Maybe it was the unusually calm way we 
were having this discussion.

Finally, I said, "Yes, I've been faithful ... to her." I stopped and 
took a deep breath, gathering courage, "For five years, I haven't 
looked at another woman, not that way anyway."

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "You've been faithful to the 
woman you're in love with for FIVE years? You've been with 
NOONE in five years?" She was obviously incredulous and didn't 
quite believe me.

I stood up and she sat back in her chair as though I was about to 
throw something at her. I was, but it wasn't an object ... just words. 
"Don't look so surprised."

I approached her and stood a foot from her chair.  She stood 
abruptly, obviously uncomfortable with me looking down at her.  I 
didn't want her to be afraid of me, or of talking to me about this ... 
thing we were finally talking about.  I propped my butt cheek on 
the edge of her desk, bringing me down to her eye level and she 
visibly relaxed.

"You didn't answer me," I said softly.

"What was the question?"

"How would you do it?"

"Do it?

She was going to make me work for this.  "Make a pass at a man, a 
man you wanted."

She smiled nervously, "I'm not sure, it's been a while. Besides, 
who says I want to ..."

"Seduce the man of your dreams?" I supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, well ..."

"But if you did?"

"I guess I'd ... I don't know, touch him."

"Where?"

She wouldn't look at me.  "I don't know, anywhere, just lingering 
touches."

"To let him know?  To 'put it out there'?" I asked, using her own 
words.

She nodded shyly.  "I can flirt, you know."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, sounding facetious and surprised, even to 
myself.

"What?  You don't think I can?" she asked defensively.

"I'm sure you can.  I've just never been lucky enough to see it."

"Lucky?"

"Let me rephrase that.  Lucky enough to be the man you wanted to 
flirt with."

"Mulder ..."  Her breath shuddered slightly as she inhaled and I 
glanced at her chest, rising to stretch the buttons of her blouse.  
She noticed and flushed.

"So you would consider yourself lucky if I flirted with you?" she 
asked quietly.

"I'd be the luckiest man in the world, Scully."  I paused. "But I 
don't guess it's something I ever have to worry about."

"What are you saying?" She sounded almost frantic again and I 
stood and backed away, giving her space but feeling hurt all the 
same.

"Mulder?" she asked.

"What?  Look, I'm going to work at home for the rest of the day."

I put some files in a briefcase, not able to look at her and 
wondering if I'd pushed too hard.

"You've really been faithful to this woman for all this time?"

"This woman, Scully?" I was asking her to end evasion of the fact 
that we were talking about us.  She didn't respond and I had my 
answer. I swallowed thickly, afraid I might break down in front of 
her.  God, my heart, it ... hurt.

But if I expected her to ever let go and trust me, I guess I had to 
trust her.

"The answer to your question is ... "  God, this was hard. Could I 
tell her straight out?  She said she liked to be straight forward.  Her 
behavior would indicate otherwise.

I picked up my jacket and put it on slowly. The silence was 
oppressive now. I began walking toward the door. Her voice 
floated to me, now a whisper for real. "Mulder?"

I turned and smiled softly at her. "Yes, Scully, I've been faithful for 
a long, long time."  I paused, gathering courage.  Time to end this 
charade, Scully, I thought. Softly, I said, "And I'll continue to be 
faithful to you. I don't have any choice."

I saw her jaw drop as she gasped.  Her mouth moved as though she 
wanted to say something, but then it closed again.

I didn't wait around to find out what the results might be of my 
admission. Her knowing she was the one, and me acknowledging it 
were two different things. I ran, like a coward.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Holy shit!" I whispered out loud to the empty room.

My heart was hammering against my rib cage.  My mouth was dry 
as a bone.  My breathing was ragged.  I suddenly couldn't get 
enough air.

What had just happened?  How had this happened?  How had we 
gone from seven years of denial and the emotional tentative two 
step, to him blurting out that he'd been faithful to me for five years 
because ... because he was in love with me.

His words repeated themselves in my head.  'And I'll continue to be 
faithful to you.  I don't have any choice.'

Oh God.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way!  Well, how the hell was it 
supposed to happen?  How was WHAT supposed to happen?  
What the hell am I talking ... I mean, thinking about!?

I growled in frustration, packed up my laptop computer and headed 
for the door. I wasn't going to get anything more done today.

Oh no.  I hadn't responded at all!

And he'd run.

XXXXXXXXXX
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, D.C.
FRIDAY - 1:30 PM

I guess maybe I knew it somewhere in the back of my mind. I don't 
know if I knew it or if I wanted it to be true. But hearing him say 
it, out loud, in color, totally overwhelmed me.  It was a round 
about admission.  He was in love with 'someone'.  He'd been 
faithful that 'woman' for five years. And then, ... 'And I'll continue 
to be faithful to you.  I don't have any choice.' The operative word 
here being, YOU.

Our evasive conversation about seduction, romance, the nature of 
monogamy and male/female games, was typical for us. The subject 
matter wasn't typical but the evasive tactics were. But he had 
switched gears this time. He had broken the unwritten law between 
us: 'Thou shalt not directly approach emotional time bombs.'

Instead, he had asked me to look at him. I was helpless not to obey 
his request. And the things I saw nearly staggered me. His usual 
mask was gone. I could fool myself and tell myself that I 
misinterpreted what I saw and I must be mistaken.

But that would be a lie. I may not always know what he was 
thinking. But if he let me look into his eyes, I always knew what he 
was feeling. I'D seen affection, admiration and respect. But what 
had thrown me was what came after that. Love, frustration, desire 
had all passed through his eyes. And he had hid none of it.

What had made him do that? What had made him decide that lunch 
hour on a Friday afternoon was the time to let me know how he 
felt. I've had many fantasies about how we would come together.  
Usually they involved fiery collisions after a life threatening 
experience.

I never pictured a quite, nervous talk about romance in the 
basement while eating my lunch.  He said I was a tease.  I didn't 
mean to be.  I knew he cared for me, maybe even more than a 
friend - but love me?  Really find me sexually attractive?

' You've got a beautiful mouth, Scully.  You've got beautiful, full 
lips.  What's a guy's favorite thing? Think about it for a minute."  I 
paused.  "I'm glad you aren't doing it on purpose, but I'm not a 
eunuch for Christ's sake!'

I'd never allowed myself to believe it, lest I be broken hearted.

Broken hearted?  Yes, if I was honest, I knew he could break my 
heart ... because he already owned it.  Now, it seemed that I owned 
his as well.  The big question was, 'What do with it?'

Was I ready to advance this relationship?  Did I ever want to 
advance this relationship?  There was so much at stake.  Our 
partnership, our friendship.  Or was that just an excuse because I 
didn't want to face my real fear? That being that I somehow 
wouldn't measure up to the sexy, sensual women of his past.

After all we'd been through, nothing had split us up.  Why would a 
romantic relationship or physical relationship split us up?

Because the emotional investment would be astronomical. Fox 
William Mulder didn't do anything half way.  And his passion and 
intensity scared me a little. I'd never been a creature of the sensual.  
I was a scientist. I dealt in cold, hard facts and it had invaded my 
personal life.  I saw everything through that logical lens. But love 
and emotions were never logical.  I had probably been cheating 
myself all these years because of my fear.  But could I face the 
risk?  Oh sure, I'd had relationships, I'd had sex. But if I thought 
about it, had I ever really given my heart?

With Daniel, I'd been exercising a bit of the old Oedipus Complex.  
He was a replacement for my father's influence and guiding hand 
in my life.  It almost destroyed me.  And I did destroy his family.  I 
would live with that guilt for the rest of my life.  Yes, I was young 
and naïve, but ultimately, we are all responsible for our own 
actions.  He may have taken advantage of me, but I LET him do it.

As for Jack, well, I think I'd been more in love with the IDEA of 
being in love than I was actually in love.  Jack Willis was a control 
freak. I'm a control freak.  Two control freaks do not a healthy 
relationship make.  It was a constant tug of war for the upper hand 
and it was exhausting.

Ed Jerse, well, we won't even go there.  He wasn't a relationship.  
He was a potential one night stand that never was ... thank God for 
small favors.  So what now?  It's the weekend.  I know Mulder 
won't go back to the office.  He ran away from me.  He won't be 
back.

Maybe I should call my mother?

XXXXXXXXXX FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 
ARLINGTON, VA FRIDAY - 1:30 PM

Jesus Christ!  I was the moron of the century.  What the hell was 
wrong with me anyway?  I had told Scully that I loved her, that I 
was in love with her.  Well, I'd hinted at it, and then I'd confirmed 
it as I walked out the door.  More like ran for my life!  What in the 
world had I been thinking?

Now what?  Would she stay at the office?  Go home?  Oh God, 
what had I done?!  I had potentially ruined the best relationship I'd 
ever had in my life.  All because I was selfish.

I wanted more.  I asked myself, 'Isn't her friendship enough?' 'Isn't 
her partnership and affection enough?'  I was lucky to have those 
two things and here I was asking for more, always more.  Hadn't 
she given enough?  Her sister, her ability to have children, her 
reputation with the Bureau?  Her faith in her science to provide all 
the answers?  Wasn't that enough?

Oh no.  I had to want it all.  I had to want more, like the greedy, 
little bastard that I am.  I found a good thing and I set about 
consuming it whole.  But Scully wasn't a thing.  She was a woman.  
She was a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, affectionate, compassionate 
... and the list goes on, woman.

You don't consume people whole.  But that was what I was doing 
to her.  I was asking for too much and then actually having 
moments where I wondered why she wasn't hovering in my orbit.  
I'd asked myself on more than one occasion why she wasn't buying 
my bill of goods.  Why couldn't she just believe me?  But the fact 
that she didn't buy me hook, line and sinker, was one of the reasons 
I loved her so much.  She could disregard my ideas, without 
disregarding ME. She didn't sell out. I'd asked, why didn't she want 
me the way I wanted her? Asshole.

I have to fix this.  I can't lose her.  I can't work without her.  I can't 
... live without her in my life.  And if I've chased her away, I will 
never forgive myself.

I picked up the phone and stared it for a long moment and then hit 
Speed Dial 1.

PART 2 (PG-13) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT 
GEORGETOWN, VA FRIDAY - 2:00 PM

[Tell me exactly what he said.]

"I already did."

[There can be no mistake?] Maggie Scully asked furtively.

"No."

[Well then, Dana, you have a decision to make.]

"I know, that's the problem."

[Only if you make it one.]

"What's that supposed to mean?"

[It means that this is a simple decision.  The execution of it may be 
a bit difficult but the decision is simple.  Either you love him or 
you don't.  Either you're IN LOVE with him or you're not.]

"What do you think?" I asked quietly.

[Oh God, Dana, you kill me.  Who gives a shit about what I think?]

"Mom!"

[Well?  It's YOUR life, Dana.  Not mine.  Yes, I'd love to tell all 
my children what to do, who to date and when to settle down, but I 
realized a long time ago that nobody loves a smothering mother.  
And I know my mother couldn't tell me anything when I fell in 
love with your father.]

"Really?"

[Oh God, Gramma Colleen was the worst.  She harangued me 
about what a horrible life I would have married to a Navy man.  
She thought your father was arrogant and controlling.]

"He was."

[Yes, and that was exactly what I loved about him.]

"Huh?"

[There's a fine line, Dana, between arrogance and confidence.  
There's fine line between controlling and protective concern.  You 
have to look at their motives to figure out which one is in play.]

I swallowed hard, thinking for a moment how much Mulder was 
like my father. Then I barked out a laugh.  There weren't two men 
more different in the world than Mulder and my father.  And yet ...

[What was that laugh for?]

"I was just thinking for a second about how much alike Daddy and 
Mulder are."

Maggie's laughter could be heard even though she turned her head 
from the mouthpiece of the phone.  [Well, I suppose.]

"Oh, I know they're personalities are completely different, as well 
as their beliefs and their priorities."

[I'll say.]  I heard her swallow another bubble of laughter.

"But think about it, Mom.  Daddy was so passionate about things 
he believed in."

[That's true.  He taught you to be passionate too, in your own way.  
And yes, Fox is undoubtedly passionate about his beliefs.]

"And he's ..."

[He's what?]

"Protective of me.  Very protective of me."

Silence.

"I know you think that he's dragged me into trouble, Mom, and that 
I'm not safe with him, but ... he's actually ditched me on numerous 
occasions in the name of my 'safety'.  It infuriated me and I would 
go running after him, thinking he was insulting my abilities.  I 
know you think it's his fault I'm in danger so often, but it's not.  It's 
mine."

[No, that's not true.  I know you made the choice to go with him, 
wherever it is that you've been.  I know that intellectually but 
emotionally, I worry about you. Nobody could ever tell you what 
to do.   And I don't blame Fox for ... Melissa or anything else.  
That's Bill, Jr.'s department.  I have more faith in you, in your 
decisions.  And I know that if you didn't see something in Fox 
worth your time, you wouldn't be there.  And if it's your safety he's 
worried about then it has nothing to do with your abilities.  He 
cares for you and he loves you.  He doesn't want to see you hurt.  
His motives are pure, no matter how they look at the time.]

"You're right about that.  I'm glad you told me that, Mom. It's good 
to know that someone understands, or at least gives me credit that I 
know what I'm doing."

[Do you?]

"I always thought so.  But now this.  It's out there now, Mom.  He's 
in love with me."

[He has been for a long time, I knew that.  So what's changed?]

I shook my head, wondering at the Mother Radar that all mothers 
seemed to have.   "I know about it now."

[So what?  I think you always knew anyway.]

"Yeah, but now it's ... "

[Confirmed.  You think because it's been given a voice that you 
need to respond.]

"Don't I?"

[Maybe.  Probably.  What happens if you don't?]

"I think things will be awkward between us.  So awkward that we 
might not be able to work together."  My guts twisted at the 
thought.

[Is that a scenario you're willing to accept?]

"No," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

[Then you need to respond.]

"How?!"

[How about just telling him you feel the same way.]

"But I ...!"

[What?  Don't feel the same way?  Come on, Dana.  This is your 
mother you're talking to.]

"Why is this so hard for me?  I mean, I grew up with love. I know 
how to show it. Why do I find this so frightening?"

[Because you've never done it before.]

"What?  I've shown love."

[Yes, but not to someone you were in love with.  You've shown 
love to your friends, to your family for certain.  You've shown love 
to the less fortunate, to your career, and maybe even to a few men.]

"It's not like I've never had a relationship before."

[I know, but you weren't in love with the men in your past.]

"I thought I was, at the time.  Doesn't that make it true?"

[Not really.  It was real at the time.  But that's in the past.  Now 
you know there's something else.  There's something more.  You 
have unconditional love at your fingertips and it scares the hell out 
of you.  And it should.  True love is a powerfl thing.  But it's also 
worth the risk.  I never once regretted following my heart and 
staying with your father.]

"Why?  Why am I so scared?"

[I can't answer that for you.  But if I were to take a guess, I think 
maybe you're afraid you won't be able to give him back as much as 
he's offering you.  Maybe you're afraid of disappointing him.  
You've always been a perfectionist and way too hard on yourself.  I 
don't know.]

My heart sank into my stomach.  Disappointing him.  Oh God, that 
was the basis of so much in our relationship over the years, at least 
for me.  In the beginning, I was afraid I wouldn't be smart enough 
to figure things out, that my science wouldn't be able to refute his 
theories.  Then I was afraid it wouldn't be able to substantiate 
them.  I had lived in fear that I wouldn't be able to give him the 
answers he needed.  Then it had evolved.  I knew he expected me 
to bail.  And that would be the ultimate disappointment to him, if I 
turned out to be another one that couldn't take the heat.

[Dana?]

"I think you're right, Mom.  I'm terrified of disappointing him, of 
not being the woman he wants me to be."

[I think you're being too hard on yourself.  He's fallen in love with 
the woman you are, Dana.  Just be yourself.  He knows who you 
are, warts and all, and he loves you.  He loves you for being you.  
You don't need to be anything, anyone else for him.  He wouldn't 
want that anyway.]

"He's always been attracted to tall brunettes with long legs and big 
boobs."

Maggie laughed again.  [That's just packaging.  Young people put 
way toomuch importance on that.  But things change.  You know, 
I've met men that made my heart skip a beat because they were so 
good looking.]

"Mom?" I asked, amused and curious now.

[But they opened their mouth and one hundred percent stupid came 
out.]

I chuckled.  "Yeah, I've met a few of those myself."

[And did they remain physically attractive to you?]

Her words stopped me in my tracks.  "No," I said tentatively.

[Exactly.  Every time you see them and they talk stupid, they 
become less and less physically attractive until you wonder what 
the hell you saw in the first place. They repulse you.  On the other 
hand, I've met a lot of average looking men, that were brilliant, 
funny, intriguing and had bubbly personalities.]

"And?"

[And they become more and more physically attractive every time 
you see them because they make you laugh and bring out the best 
in you. They make you want to be the best you can be for them.  
Not because you want to be someone else or who you think they 
WANT, but just be the best YOU that you can be.  And suddenly, 
they are the most handsome thing you've ever seen.]

"I agree.  But what does that have to do with Mulder and me?"

[Why would it be any different for Fox?]

Oh my God.  "You mean?..."

[Yes, maybe he went for one particular physical type at one point 
in his life, but like you, he wasn't in love with them.  Even if he 
thought he was at the time.  It was the pinnacle of emotional 
attachment for him at the time, so he thought it was love.  He's 
older now, Dana.  And now he knows different.    There is more, 
something deeper and more profound.  He's found a mutual trust 
and respect with you he didn't know existed before.  And that has 
led him to fall in love with you.]

"God, Mom, I hope you're right."

[I know I'm right.  And I'd bet that now his head spins around only 
when he sees red.]

I laughed again, and my mother joined me.  "So what do I do?"

[Reread that Cosmo magazine.] she stated blandly.

We laughed again.  "Thanks, Mom."

[You're welcome.  Do you know what you're going to do?]

"I think so.  I need to think about it a little more."

[Don't think too much, Dana.  That's part of your problem. You 
have a wonderful machine sitting on top of your shoulders.  But 
sometimes brains isn't what is required to find happiness or to find 
the answers.]

"What then?"

[Your heart, Dana.  Your heart.  Stop thinking and listen to your 
heart.  Can you see yourself with anyone else?]

"No."

[Do you compare every man you run across to him and find them 
wanting?]

"Yes."

[Do you go nuts when you don't where he is or you think he's in 
danger?]

"I can't stand it."

[When you thought you were going to lose him, to circumstances 
or to death, what did you feel?]

I swallowed a little sob.  "Like I was ..."

[What?]

"Like I would die with him.  Like a piece of me was gone forever 
and I'd never get it back."

[Yup.  You're in love all right.]

I chuckled with no mirth, at the simple honestly in her words.  
Now all I had to do was accept them.  "How do I do this?"

[Just tell him.]

"What?  Just call him up and say, 'Gee, Mulder, how are you 
tonight?  By the way, I'm in love with you too?'"

[Ahhh, Dana, you make everything so hard.]

"Well?"

[Do you really want me to tell you how to do this?]

"YES!"

She laughed, amused but sounding a little sad.  I was sad, pathetic 
even.

[Invite him over for dinner.  Dress sexy, play soft music, light 
candles.  Do whatever you think he'd like.  If you don't think he's 
the romantic type, then just invite him over and tell him over pizza 
and beer.]

It was my turn to laugh.  "He said ... he said he missed the romance 
in his life."

[Well, then, you don't even need to guess.  Forget being a doctor, 
forget being a FBI agent, a partner and a friend.  Just be a woman, 
Dana. It's O.K. to just be a woman.]

I swallowed hard.  "Thanks, Mom," I nearly whispered.

[Go get him!]

"I think I will."

XXXXXXXXXX
FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
ALEXANDRIA, VA
FRIDAY - 3:00 PM

My palms were sweating as I held the phone and listened to it ring.  
The machine picked up.

[Beeeeep.  This is 555-9423, please leave a message and I'll get 
back to you. Thanks. Beeeeep.]

"Scully, it's me.  Are you there?"

Silence.

"O.K., um, I need to talk to you.  I know I ... stepped over a line 
today, and I'm sorry."

Silence.

"I don't want ... to make you afraid or uncomfortable ... but I'm 
afraid that's what I've done."

Silence.

"That wasn't the time or the place to have that conversation.  And, 
... I shouldn't have run away."

Silence.

I felt the tears gather in the back of my throat.  "Scully, please 
don't ... please don't hide from me ... I can't lose you, Scully ... 
Please talk to me."

Silence.

"Call me, Scully, ... please."

Click.

I listened to the dial tone for over a minute and finally set the 
phone in the base. I buried my face in my hands and cried.  I felt 
like an idiot, like an emotional cripple.  And I was scared.  More 
scared than I'd ever been in my life.

I don't know how long I sat there.  I really don't have any idea.  It 
seemed like a long time.  Behind my eyelids, I replayed scenes of 
affection and laughter that we had shared over the years.  It just 
made me more miserable. Would I ever hear her laugh again?  Feel 
her hug me?  What would I do if she didn't respond?  Oh God, it 
felt like the walls were closing in.

XXXXXXXXXX
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, D.C.
FRIDAY -  3:30 PM

He sounded devastated.  I listened to the message again, not having 
been brave enough to pick it up when he called mere minutes after 
my conversation with my mother.

He was waiting for me to respond.  He was so afraid of what I 
would do, or say, or not do.  I wondered how many times I'd made 
him feel this way without even knowing it.  God, Mom was right.  
This had to change.  I couldn't go on like this and neither could he.

I couldn't be without him, and now that I knew how he felt ... the 
way it was wouldn't work anymore.  I picked up the phone and had 
a moment of panic but then I dialed and waited for the ring.  I was 
slightly mortified to find that my hand was trembling.

His voice was ragged and raw when he answered.  [Mulder.]

Had he been crying?  "Mulder, it's me."

A gasp could be heard. [Scully?]  He sounded like a scared little 
kid.

"Expecting someone else?"

He chuckled nervously.  [No.]

"Are you O.K.?  You don't sound so good."

Silence.

"Mulder?"

[I guess.]  He paused.  [No, I'm not all right.]

I felt the tears sting my eyes.  "I'm ... calling you back."

Well, wasn't that intelligent? I thought sarcastically.

[Yeah, I'm a little surprised.]

"Yeah?"

[Yeah, I was afraid ... still am afraid ... that you'll hide ... avoid 
me.]

"No, I won't."

[No?]  He sounded so hopeful.  God, it broke my heart.

"Got any plans tonight?" I asked carefully, feeling my heart rate 
accelerate.

[No ...]

"I was thinking ... maybe I could go get some groceries."

[Do you want help?] he asked, obviously confused by that 
statement.  Oh yeah, Dana, great.  How about making some sense?

"No, but I thought I'd get something for dinner."

[Oh yeah?]

God this was pathetic.  Just do it!  "I was hoping maybe you'd 
come over and have dinner with me."

[Really?]  He sounded astonished.  [I'd lo ... love to, Scully.]

I had him so scared he couldn't even say the word without 
stuttering!  Jesus.  It was Mulder!  The man was in love with me.  
What the hell was I so afraid of?  I needed to get a grip.

"Great.  How about ... 8:00 o'clock?  That will give me some time 
to shop."

[Sure or ...]

"Or what?"

[Nothing, forget it.]

"No, what?"

[I could pick something up on the way over.  Save you the trouble 
of cooking.]

I smiled.  "No, Mulder.  I want to cook."

[Oh, all right then.]

I swallowed hard.  "I want to cook dinner ... for you."

I heard his breath catch.  [You do?]

"Yeah."

[I'll be there.]

"Good."

[O.K., jeans O.K.?]

I laughed now.  "Of course, be comfy."

[See you soon, Scully.]

"O.K., we can talk ..."

[Yeah, guess we need to do that, huh?] he asked softly.

"I think so."

[Scully, thanks ... thanks for ...]

"For what, Mulder?"

[For not hiding.]

"You're welcome.  And Mulder?"

[What?]

"Relax.  We're O.K."

[We are?]

"Yeah, we're O.K."

I heard his breath rush out.  [I'm really, ... relieved.]

"Good.  I'll see you in few hours."

[Should I bring anything?]

He wanted to be helpful.  "How about a good bottle of wine?"

[Sure!  What are you making?]

"I'm not sure yet, what do you like?"

[Anything.]

"Oh, that's helpful!" I said, teasing.

I could almost see him smiling.  I felt a tingle down my backbone.

[I like ... Italian.]

"Hmmm, how about lasagna?"

[Perfect.]

"That settles it then.  See you in a few."

[See you.]

Click.

I waited for him to hang up and replaced the hand set. Time to go 
to work.

PART 3 (R) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT GEORGETOWN, 
VA FRIDAY - 7:58 PM

I'm trying to remember if I've EVER been this nervous in my 
entire life.  I'm standing outside her door, two minutes early, 
holding a brown paper bag with two bottles of wine, one red, one 
white.  I know which wines go with which foods, but I wanted to 
cover the bases.

God, talk, she said we would talk.  That's all this was going to be.  
Just talk.  Be grateful.  She wasn't running for the hills.  She'd 
called you back and invited you into her home.  I'd been here a 
thousand times.  But it was different this time.

She knew now.

She knew I was in love with her.  How would she look at me?

Please let her look at me with anything but pity.

I took a deep breath and knocked sharply three times.

I heard her holler, "Just a second!"

Sweat had broken out on my forehead and I wiped it away with my 
sleeve.  I'd showered.  Hopefully she would just think it was water!  
I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.  Answer the door, 
Scully! I thought frantically.  The waiting was killing me.


This had been the longest four and half hours of my life.

XXXXXXXXXX

I peered out the peephole in the door.  He was running his hand 
nervously through his hair, making that errant lock fall across his 
forehead.  His hair was still damp from the shower.  He threw his 
head back and looked at the ceiling. He looked nervous!

Good, at least I wasn't the only one.  I looked down at myself.  
Casual ... but sexy, I hoped.  Oh God, could I go through with this?

I had to now.  I took a deep breath and swung the door open, 
smiling gently.

His hand stopped fidgeting in his hair and he looked at me. He 
swallowed hard and his eyes traveled from the crown of my head 
to my feet and back up again. They faltered on my chest then came 
up to my meet my eyes again.

He muttered under his breath, "Jesus."

I flushed and smiled wider.  "Come in.  That the wine?" I asked, 
indicating the bag as I waved him in.

He nodded mutely and held it out,  his eyes never leaving mine.  
Our hands brushed as I took the bag and he yanked his back 
quickly as though he'd been shocked.  I reached out and gave his 
arm a little squeeze, letting my hand slide down almost to his wrist 
as I let go.

"Thanks, Mulder."

His voice was soft and breathy, "No ... no problem."  Then he 
licked his lips.

I could feel them burning a hole in my backside as I walked into 
the kitchen.  I had butterflies in my stomach just from the way he 
had looked at me.  God, how had I never seen that desire before?

I had been truly blind.  I was nervous but perversely pleased with 
his reaction.  I hollered, "Take off your coat, make yourself 
comfortable. The lasagna needs another ten minutes."

I returned to the doorway between the kitchen and living room.  
"Do you want a glass of wine?"

He was standing by the end of the couch, still wearing his coat.  
"Um, yeah," he responded.

I smiled again, his obvious nervousness somehow stealing some of 
mine away. "You going to take off your coat and stay a while or 
are you planning on bolting?"

The corners of his mouth turned up quickly and he shrugged out of 
his black, leather bomber jacket, looking at me from under his 
lashes. Good Lord, the man was sexy.  I let my eyes wander over 
his muscled chest and the snug pull of his green tee shirt as he 
pulled his jacket off.

He went still, catching me looking and froze, his jacket dangling 
from his fingers. I looked away, clearing my throat.  "You can 
throw it on the coat rack, or in the closet, whichever."

I spun and reentered the kitchen.  I heard him walking to the door.  
He must be putting it on the coat rack. I felt him appear in the 
kitchen door as I was pouring the wine.

He said, "Smells delicious, Scully."

"Thanks.  Hope it tastes as good as it smells."

"I'm sure it will."

XXXXXXXXXX

JesusHChristonacrutch!  I almost swallowed my tongue when she 
opened the door.

She was wearing black knit leggings that ended below her knee, 
big fluffy wool socks.  That I could have handled, even if those 
pants did fit her like the skin on a grape and show off her lovely 
rear end.

But she was wearing a white spaghetti strap tee that barely fell 
below her navel.

And she wasn't wearing a bra.  Holy shit!  I might as well have 
been see through. I could see her dusky nipples through the fabric.  
I'd had to forcibly yank my eyes up to her face.  Was she trying to 
kill me here?  Or was she that unconscious of how that would 
affect me?

She had to know.

And if she did, was it a hint?  Was it a sign that she wasn't upset 
about my declaration?  That she felt the same way?

My heart faltered in my chest, skipping a beat but then started up 
again.  I'd almost gotten it together again when she appeared in the 
doorway to the kitchen, offering wine.  I'd stuttered some 
acceptance and she'd teased me about my coat.

I'd been so struck dumb, I hadn't taken it off.  I was embarrassed 
and hurried to yank it off but felt paralyzed when I caught her 
looking at my chest.

She was looking at my chest, wasn't she?  I hoped I hadn't been 
imagining it.  I needed to keep my head about me, here.  I needed 
to NOT read into things.  I needed to follow her lead.

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to relax.  It was just Scully.  
My partner of nearly seven years.  It was just ...

Yeah, right. It was the woman I loved and now she knew and she 
was cooking me dinner and ...

I nearly stumbled when I saw the candles on the kitchen table.  
Two long, red, taper candles were set in brass holders on the 
kitchen table.  Place mats and silverware and plates were set out.  
A trivet was in the center, waiting for the lasagna pan.

Oh God, could she be trying to seduce me?

You don't have to, Scully! I wanted to shout.

She was cooking me dinner.

She had candles on the table.

She was dressed ... provocatively.

She'd touched me ... when she took the bag of wine ... lingering ...

Shit.  DON'T READ INTO IT! I shouted inside my head.  Don't let 
your imagination run away with you, I told myself.  She said you 
were going to talk. JUST TALK.

I should say something.  "Smells delicious, Scully."

"Thanks.  Hope it tastes as good as it smells."

"I'm sure it will."

She flashed me a smile over her shoulder and poured second glass 
of wine.  My eyes wandered to her back side as she bent slightly to 
put the wine back in the fridge.  Her tattoo peaked out the bottom 
of her tee as it rode up slightly when she bent over.

She went back to the counter, scooped up the wine and walked to 
me, stopping a foot away, looking up at me.  She held the glass out 
and I took it from her slowly, watching her lick her lips.

"Thanks," I muttered and took a quick sip.

She smiled and sipped her wine, leaning her hip against the door 
jamb.  My eyes flicked down and over the material of her tee 
where it hugged the sides of her full breasts, which I noticed, 
hardly sagged at all, despite the absence of a bra.

I looked at her face and she was slightly flushed but not really 
blushing.  I swallowed hard and took another sip of my wine.  
"You want to sit down?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She waved toward the table, and I took one of the chairs. I noticed 
the places were not set up at opposite ends, but rather, next to each 
other, her on the end, me on the side.  It was a small table but 
could seat four.

She sat down and sighed.  I had no clue what to say, so I said 
nothing.  I watched her, trying to feign a casual perusal.  She 
smiled, a bit self consciously.

Then she said, "God, I feel like a teenager."

I laughed then, glad that I wasn't the only one.  She laughed too.  
"Know what you mean," I mumbled.

She smiled at me again.  "Mulder ..."

Just then her timer went off, blaring an obnoxious ringing across 
the kitchen.  We both jumped and then laughed again, stifling it 
quickly. She jumped  up and took her hot mitts and removed the 
lasagna from the oven, shutting it off.  She carried to the table, and 
went to a drawer, returning with a serving spatula and a knife.

She lit the candles and shut off the overhead light.  The lighting 
cast a warm glow, making it seem like a private little bubble for 
the two of us.

She cut the 13 X 9 inch pan into six big squares and scooped some 
up onto my plate as I held it next to the pan.  She did the same for 
herself and I waited for her.

She grinned, picking her fork.  "Don't wait.  Dig in."

I did.  And then I groaned.  It was delicious.  The sauce was just 
right, not sweet and not acidic.  I moaned in appreciation as I 
chewed and swallowed.  She had gone silent and I looked at her.  
She was staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"No ... nothing. I'm glad you like it."

Was she watching me swallow?  Could that possibly turn her on as 
much as it did me to watch her?  I couldn't think about that now.  I 
smiled, relaxing a little. "It's delicious, Scully.  What kind of 
cheeses?  There's more than one, I can tell."

She smiled then.  "Yes, there are six."

"Six!"

"Yeah, it's an Italian six cheese mix I get.  It comes all grated and 
ready to go. But it's not the cheap shit.  It isn't greasy and it doesn't 
separate when it gets hot and ..."

I was grinning at her enthusiasm.  She broke off embarrassed.  
"Sorry, who cares, right?"

"I care.  I wanted to know.  This is the best lasagna I've ever had."

"All right, now you're laying it on too thick!" she said as she 
jabbed her fork in the air towards me.

I grinned. "I'm not, I mean it.  It's wonderful."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."  I took another bite and a sip of wine, feeling 
better that we could joke a little.  The event discussion was 
looming on the horizon but it seems we'd both called a time out for 
dinner.  We were going to eat and enjoy ourselves and postpone 
the inevitable.  Didn't bother me a bit.

"I didn't know you cooked, Scully."

"Geez, Mulder, of course I cook."

"I guess I knew that, but you ..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?  Never cook?  No, I don't usually because it's no fun to 
cook for one."

"I can relate to that.  But that's not what I was going to say."

"Spill it."

"I've never had the pleasure."

"Huh?"

"Of having you cook for me."

She went still again, suddenly looking uncomfortable.  Uh oh.  
Was she afraid I was taking this the wrong way?

"Scully, I didn't mean anything by that.  I just meant that ... we're 
always on the road and we don't usually eat ... together ... when 
we're home ... and ..."  I paused, frustrated.  "Shit," I said softly.

Her hand slid across the table and rested on my wrist.  I looked at it 
and back at her.  "It's all right, Mulder.  I know what you meant.  
And you're right.  I don't cook very often anymore, but I wanted ... 
to do it tonight."

I didn't know what to say to that.  Finally, I said, "I know what you 
mean.  I would actually like to cook more.  Next time you'll have 
to let me cook dinner for you."

"Do you cook, Mulder?"  She took her hand away and I sighed, 
missing it already.  I loved it when Scully touched me.  It was rare 
and now she'd touched me twice in one night.  Did it mean 
anything?  Oh yeah, she'd asked me a question.

"Not as good as you, but I can get by," I responded, belatedly.  "It 
would be edible, I promise."

She grinned.  "What do you cook?"

"Lots of things, but like you, I usually don't."

"You eat like shit, Mulder."

I gave her a wounded look.  "I eat very well, thank you. And 
Ming's Chinese Take Out thanks me too!"

She laughed again softly and we ate for a few minutes. "Let's make 
a deal, Mulder."

"Huh?"

"A deal.  From now on, when we're home, not out in the field, we'll 
try to cook dinner at least once a week.  We'll take turns."

I smiled.  "I'd really like that."

"Good.  It's a deal."

"Deal."

We finished dinner in silence, casting shy smiles at each other 
periodically. I was a little giddy but nervous.  You didn't light 
candles for a dinner with a friend.  I'd stopped to watch the 
candlelight flicker on her hair at one point and she'd caught me 
staring.  That was an uncomfortable moment.  Butt hen she'd 
smiled coyly, amused, and continued eating.

I helped her wash the dishes, leaving them in the strainer to dry.  
We retired to the living room with a fresh glass of wine and 
reclined on opposite ends of the couch.  I kicked off my sneakers 
and pulled one leg up against the backrest.  "Is this O.K.?" I asked, 
realizing I might be making myself a little too comfortable.

She nodded.  "Of course, be comfortable."  She was sitting Indian 
style on her end, her wine glass dangling from her fingers over the 
carpet.

We were silent for several moments and she said, "So ..."

"So ..." I repeated and smiled, feeling my stomach flutter with 
nervousness.  It was time.

"I don't know where to start."

"The beginning is usually good."

She smiled.  "I don't know where that is."

I licked my lips.  "I'm at a loss, Scully.  I don't know what to say.  I 
... don't know what you're thinking.  I wish I did.  But I honestly 
don't have a clue."

"I haven't given you any clues?" she asked, a slight teasing note in 
her voice.

My mouth was suddenly dry as the desert.  God, was she flirting 
with me? Teasing me?  "Scully?"

She looked down, her hair falling to cover her eyes.  "I'm so bad at 
this."

"This?"

"Talking ... out loud about ... how I feel."

"Have you been trying to give me clues, Scully?" I asked 
nervously.  "Are you ... flirting with me?"

She looked up at me but didn't say anything.  I realized she would 
probably take that as confirmation that she wasn't good at it if I 
didn't know for sure.  After another moment of silence I said, "I 
wondered if you were ... I want it to be true ... but ... I didn't want 
to assume ... anything or jump to conclusions ... or misinterpret ... 
anything."

She nodded.  I continued.  "So the safe thing for me to do is to 
assume that all this is ... NOT indicative of something ... else. The 
safe thing is to assume that my friend got a wild hair and wanted to 
cook dinner for me because she needed an excuse to get me over 
here and talk to me."

She smiled now.  "Since when have you ever played it safe, 
Mulder?"

I grinned, not knowing what to say.  "I've always played it safe 
with you, Scully.  I know how lucky I am to have you in my life.  I 
never wanted to do anything to damage that.  I've always played it 
safe with you," I repeated.

"Until this afternoon," she said quietly.

"Yeah, until this afternoon."

"Why did you tell me then?"

I swallowed.  "I don't know.  It started off innocently enough.  I 
was intrigued.  I wanted to know what you thought about ... the 
male/female dynamic."

"Male/female dynamic, huh?"

I made a sounded of affirmation.  "But then ..."

"Then?"

"I don't know.  I just realized how incredibly tired I was."

"Tired?  What do you mean?"

I looked at her, over her shoulder and back at her again, meeting 
her gaze. "Tired of hiding."

She nodded.  "How  you feel, you mean?"

"Yeah.  It's gets awfully tiring."  I frowned, looking away, no 
longer able to look at her.

"I'm tired too, Mulder."

"Are you?  And what are you tired of?"

"Being afraid."

I was confused by that and it must have showed on my face, 
because she said, "Afraid of what we have, losing what we have."  
She paused. "Afraid of what we might have," she said softly.

I was staring at her now, my heart beating harder. "Are you afraid 
of me?"

"A little."

I was staggered by that admission.  Scully never admitted to being 
afraid of anything, least of all me.  What had I done to make her 
afraid?  Before this afternoon, that is?

"Scully, why would you be afraid of me?"  I asked, sounding more 
hurt than I meant to.

"Oh Mulder.  It's not the way you think."

"Then explain it to me.  God, Scully, you are so ... enigmatic 
sometimes.  I'd give anything to get inside that head of yours."

"That's what I'm afraid of.  Letting you inside my head."

"Why?"

"Because you have a way of turning my head upside down."

"Because I believe different things?" I asked, clearly struggling to 
understand, to set aside my hurt.

"No, because you blindside me with your ... passion for what you 
believe.  I've believed certain things my whole life.  They were the 
mainstays of my existence. I believed in the love of my family.  I 
believed in my science and I believed in my God."

"And now?"

"I still believe in my family."

"Oh Scully.  I've taken so much away from you."

She was shaking her head.  "No, you don't get it.  You didn't take 
things away, you just rearranged them, turned them into other 
things. And it took me a while to adjust to that.  To be comfortable 
with a new set of rules.  An existence where practically nothing 
was static."

"I took away your tent pole."

"Excuse me?" she asked, suddenly amused.

"I took away the support beam in your life, your security. Your 
beliefs. I'm sorry, Scully."

"NO!  I don't want you to be sorry.  Because I don't think it's a bad 
thing."

"How can you say that?"

"Because you've helped me to find out who I am.  You stripped 
away all the dogma, all the righteousness and made me look at the 
core ... the core of me.  I know who I am now, no illusions, no 
false beliefs."

"They aren't false if they're yours, Scully.  If they sustain you, like 
your faith, and give you strength and support, then they are valid, 
whether I believe in them or not.  I have my own tent poles."

She laughed again at my analogy.  "What are your tent poles, 
Mulder?"

"Truth.  Truth is like a religion to me.  It's what I live for, what I 
fight for."

"Anything else?"

I stared at her.  She felt it and refocused on me.  When our eyes 
met, I said, "You."

"Oh God, Mulder.  See!?  That's what I mean!  You're giving me 
way too much credit.  I don't know if I can live up to that kind of 
responsibility.  I live in constant fear of letting you down."

"Scully, you could never let me down."

"How do you know that!?  I'm not God, I don't have all the 
answers."

"But I can trust you."

She looked at me, her eyes suspiciously wet.  She knew how much 
that meant to me.   I continued.  "You don't have to live up to 
anything, Scully.  You just have to be yourself.  You are my ... 
constant. I can count on you to be there, to just be ... Scully.  You 
don't bullshit me.  You don't put up with my bullshit.  And you ... 
stay with me.  You're crazy as a loon to do it, but you stay with 
me!"  I smiled a smile filled with melancholy.

She smiled as her tears started to fall.  "What do I say to that?!" 
barked out.

"Nothing."

"What if just being me isn't enough, Mulder?"

"It's enough for me."

"What if ...?"

I cut her off, "There are no guarantees in life, Scully. You're 
always looking for absolutes, guarantees.  But there aren't any.  
There's just now and what's real for this moment.  We should live 
for the moment.  It could all change tomorrow.  But there's one 
thing that won't ever change."

"What?" she asked, wiping her tears on her forearm and looking up 
at me.   I couldn't stand her tears.  I wanted to gather her up in my 
arms, but I didn't dare touch her.

I was breathing fast.  "The way I feel about you ..."

She froze.  I froze.  My eyes told her again what I felt for her but 
the words were stuck in my throat.  I didn't think I could lay it out 
there again.  "Oh God ..." she murmured finally.  "Here we are 
again, huh?"

"Yeah," I whispered, resigned to a stale mate.  "Now you know.  
And nothing has to change between us, Scully.  It really doesn't."

"It already has."

Again, I didn't know what to say.  The suspense was killing me 
though, so I asked, "What's changed, Scully?"

"I can't ignore it anymore."

"How I feel?"

She shook her head, 'no'.  She was silent a moment and then said, 
"How ... *I* feel."

Her eyes met mine and I held me breath.  Her face softened and 
my heart rate soared.  I set my glass down on the coffee table and 
so did she, without looking. I clanked a little loudly and we both 
ignored it.  She laced her fingers together and rocked little.

"Scully?" I asked, gritting my teeth to hold back the wave of fear 
and crazy hope that was rolling through me.

"I ... " Her knee bobbed up and down.

She was so nervous.  Oh God, was she going to tell me she felt the 
same way? Please God, I prayed, the irony of my supposed 
disbelieve not escaping me. She looked at me and away again, 
chewing on her lip.  Very softly, so as not to scare her I said, 
"Scully, there's nothing you can say that will make me turn away 
from you.  Good, bad or indifferent.  Please don't be afraid to tell 
me."

She looked at me then.  Even more softly, I said, "You know I 
won't reject you."

She pressed her lips together.  God, this was so hard for her.  I 
knew it. It was even harder for her than it was for me. And I was 
practically emotionally retarded. God, we were a pair!  But I 
needed to know.  I needed to hear her say whatever it was she was 
feeling.  I couldn't guess anymore.  She was still looking at me, 
tearing up again.  I found the words again and they slipped out, just 
a whisper.

"Scully, ... I love you."

She started to cry and I couldn't stand it anymore.  I slid down the 
couch.  Her legs unfolded and I grabbed her up, swinging her into 
my lap as I turned to lean on the backrest.  To my surprise, her legs 
spread and straddled my thighs.  I caught her up to my chest and 
her arms went around my neck, her face into my neck.

I held her close, crushing her softness against my chest. I cooed to 
her, "Shhh, don't cry.  That's not supposed to make you cry.  I must 
admit, that wasn't the response I was hoping for."

Her chest shook as she laughed and cried at the same time, totally 
undone from whatever emotions were going through her.  I felt her 
pebbled nipples against my chest and tried to ignore the arousal 
that was washing through me from having her this close.  I reveled 
in the feeling of her soft breasts against my chest, her butt on my 
thighs.  I was harder by the second.  It was impossible to ignore. 
After a minute or two, she seemed to be calming down.  I carefully 
plucked her chin up with two fingers and looked into her eyes.  We 
were breathing slowly, tired from this emotional exchange.

She felt so good in my arms and I didn't want to let go.  I smiled at 
her and lowered my nose into her hair, snuffling her neck.  She 
shivered and tipped her head to her shoulder, to arrest the tickle I'd 
caused.  I nudged her ear with my nose and she gasped.

I let my lips brush the shell of her ear when I spoke, deciding I had 
nothing to lose.  "I love you, Scully."

She sucked in a breath, quickly.  "So much," I whispered, letting 
my lips trail over her earlobe and she made a little squeaking noise 
in the back of her throat.  "Tell me, Scully."

"Mu..."

"I love you, Scully.  I've never loved anyone the way I love you.  
Tell me what you feel."

I kissed the spot below her ear softly.  She whimpered. 
"Mulder...please!"  She sounded a little frantic again but she wasn't 
pulling away and I held her tight.

"Please what?"  I nuzzled her collar bone, spotting her pulse and 
laying an open mouthed kiss on top of it, sucking gently. I felt 
myself harden fully, surging against her tummy.  She was so soft.

She moaned, low in her throat and it was the most wondrous sound 
I think I'd ever heard.  I lifted just enough to talk, letting my lips 
brush the soft skin of her neck.  Her arms were limp around my 
neck. "I ..."

I pulled back and looked her in the eye.  Her mouthed moved but 
no sound came out.  "Just tell me.  Don't' be afraid," I urged, 
hoping I wasn't blowing it or pushing too hard again.

"I lo ..."  Oh God!  Could she be trying to say it?  What I *wanted* 
to hear?  Hope charged through me, making me feel weak.

"I love you, Scully."

She bit her bottom lip and then blurted it out, her voice hitching,  
"I love you too, Mulder."

I pressed my lips together as a slight wave of dizziness hit me.  I 
closed my eyes but opened them immediately and cupped her face.  
"Oh God, I didn't want to hope ..."

Her eyelids were heavy, from crying or arousal, I wasn't sure 
which, maybe both. "Mulder ..."

"You're so beautiful, Scully.  God, I want ..."  She loved me!

"What?" she asked, actually looking shy.  I don't think I'd ever 
seen her look shy. It was adorable.  I lowered my head until lips 
were just barely touching.

I said, "I want to touch you so badly.  I want to make love to you."  
She gasped. And I covered her mouth with my own, sliding my 
tongue gently into her mouth, past her last defense.

PART 4 (NC-17) DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT 
GEORGETOWN, VA FRIDAY - 10:00 PM

I don't know what came over him but it was like once he said it 
again, he couldn't stop saying it.  He kissed me softly on the ear, 
the neck the collar bone, repeating himself.  "I love you, Scully."

It was as though he were trying to show me that when he said it, 
the world didn't end.  And it wouldn't end when I said it either.

His arms around my back, his razor stubble scraping my chin, his 
soft, warm lips on my ear, were like an assault on my senses.  I 
melted into his body as he held me gently, but firmly as though I a 
were a skittish colt. In many ways I was.

So I had broken down crying in his arms, overwhelmed by the 
force of his words, the sincerity in his voice, the desire in his eyes.  
And finally I broke down the last bit of hesitation and finally said 
the words.

"I love you too, Mulder."  My voice was a mere whisper but the 
way his eyes glowed with such hope and then lit with such joy 
when I said it, that it almost broke my heart.  And for his second 
startling announcement of the day, he whispered that he wanted to 
make love to me.

I suppose the words shouldn't have shocked me.  It made sense in 
light of what we'd just revealed to one another.  That was the next 
step. But I wasn't used to hearing such direct declarations from 
anyone, let alone Mulder.

I didn't have a chance to express my startled state, however.  A 
gasp was all I managed before his mouth was covering mine.  His 
lips were soft but insistent. His hot, wet tongue slid into my mouth 
without preamble and began a slow dance with mine.

I was kissing Mulder.  Oh lord.  And he was so bloody good at it 
that my head spun.  I grabbed his shoulders tight for support and 
kissed him back.  In less than a minute, we were both vibrating 
moans into each others' mouths and gasping for air.  This went on 
for a long time.  I don't know how long. He kissed me deeply, then 
softly, then urgently, as though testing my responses. He hummed 
gently as he suckled my bottom lip and pulled away slowly, finally 
breaking the kiss.

My apex was swollen and wet, and I could feel his erection against 
me.  I could feel the heat and pulse of it right through his jeans.  I 
wanted him.  His voice was a ragged baritone when he finally 
spoke.  "God, Scully. I've waited so long to do that."

I blinked, "Too long?" I teased gently, repeating his words from 
earlier.

He smiled. "Definitely, way too long."

"Me too," I agreed.

He muttered, "God, I love your mouth."

We sat just looking at each other as though seeing each other for 
the first time. In a way, we were.  No walls were up right now.  It 
gave him a different look.  His face, his eyes, were softer, more 
relaxed than I'd ever seen, as though unburdened of a great weight 
... just from kissing me and declaring himself.

He cleared his throat, smiling shyly.  "We, uh, should probably 
decide ..."

"Decide what?"

He looked at me for several moments and then asked, "How far do 
you want this to go?  Tonight, I mean.  If we need to stop, I need to 
stop now."

I couldn't answer right away.  How far DID I want this to go 
tonight?  Would it be rushing to take him into my bedroom right 
now?  I chuckled at the thought of moving too fast.  Although this 
emotional breakthrough was sudden for both of us, the feelings 
weren't new.  We'd already stepped over the line.

If there were consequences to be paid for pursuing this 
relationship, then they were already going to be paid, whether or 
not we were intimate tonight, tomorrow or next week.  He'd said 
we should live for the moment. Quite suddenly, it seemed like the 
wisest thing he'd ever said.  I realized I'd been silent a long time. 
His eyes were patient but they showed a little frustration and fear 
as well.

He started to talk, giving me an out, as always.  "Look, we can take 
this at your pace.  Don't feel pressure from me.  I don't want to 
push. You know what I want. I've waited this long, and I'll be here 
waiting when your ready, O.K.?"

I put my fingers up to his lips and he kissed them softly. "Let's go 
in the bedroom, Mulder."

"Are you sure?  I can wait.  Don't do this because you think I'll be 
disappointed or ..."

"Shhh,"  I kissed him softly.  "Make love to me, Mulder.  I don't 
want to wait."

He groaned softly and stood up, banding his arms around my 
waist.  I wrapped my legs around his hips and he walked as though 
I weighed nothing, down the hall and into my bedroom.  I felt very 
small attached to his chest like this.

He set me down gently on the bed and proceeded to undress me. 
He pulled off my oversized socks and kissed my toes and ankles.  
He peeled off my leggings and French cut panties.  He stared at my 
apex, now wet and glistening, already ready for him and made a 
sound of arousal in his throat. But he didn't stop there, and reached 
up to gently pull my tee shirt over my head as I lifted my torso off 
the bed.

He stared at my breasts and bent over at the waist, kissing me and 
quickly moving down to suckle an already hardened nipple into his 
mouth.  I groaned and arched my back, pushing my breast into his 
face.  I felt him smile against my flesh.

He was still completely dressed and something about that was an 
incredible turn on for me.  But he'd apparently had enough.  He 
stood up and pulled off his tee shirt, stopping while my eyes 
roamed over his muscled chest and abdomen.  He let me look my 
fill and bent over to pull his socks off. Then he pulled his jeans and 
boxers down in one motion and stood back up, kicking them off 
the ends of his feet.

He stood like a statue, letting me look.  His engorged manhood 
bobbed gently as it stood up from his nest of pubic hair.  I couldn't 
stare yet though and my eyes merely flicked over it and roamed up 
his chest again, taking in his muscular chest and broad shoulders.  
At the same time, we both said, "God, you're beautiful."

Then we laughed.  I scooted back on the bed and he crawled in 
beside me, propping himself on one arm.  He leaned over and we 
kissed deeply again. Before we were finished he was flexing his 
hips, pressing his cock into my thigh as his fingers wandered down 
between my legs.

His cock felt big against my thigh.  I'd wished I'd really looked 
before, but now I couldn't bring myself to do it.

He broke the kiss and groaned as his fingers slipped easily into 
soaking crotch.  I gasped at the sensation of having something 
inside after so many years.  Oh God, it felt good.  I'd forgotten how 
good this felt.

He slid down and positioned himself between my legs, his hands 
gently rubbing my inner thighs and spreading me wide.  I felt 
totally exposed and I had a moment of panic, wondering if I would 
smell funny or taste funny.  He must have sensed me tensing 
because he inhaled deeply and smiled in assurance.

Without saying a word, he lowered his head and began to lick my 
wetness from my folds.  I whimpered and gasped as his tongue 
rolled in and out of my folds, finally pushing inside.  I bucked into 
his face and he retreated, replacing his tongue with his long 
fingers, two of them and pressing deep.

I groaned and he turned his palm up, his finger tips seeking the 
front wall of my vagina.  He carefully rubbed in small circles in a 
methodical pattern until he found it.  IT, he'd found my G-spot!  I 
moaned loudly and fisted the bed clothes.  When I looked up at 
him he was grinning, obviously proud that he had found it.

He concentrated his ministrations in that area, pressing hard and 
then softly, making my muscles cringe and spasm as sensations 
rolled through me.  When I was writhing on the bed, whimpering 
and begging him, he lowered his head again and sucked my 
engorged bundle of nerves into his mouth.

"Mulder, Oh God, Oh Jesus.  Plleeaassee!  Oh God,  so close, so 
close.  Please Mulder! Ahh ha ha.  Pleeaassee!"

I felt his lips gently circle my bud and then he sucked, 
rhythmically and hard, in time with his circling fingers.  White 
lights flashed behind my eye lids and I broke apart, feeling the 
back of my head tingle, my nipples harden to unbelievable rigidity 
and my body arch and roll with the waves of my orgasm.  I think I 
screamed his name, but I'm not sure.

My hearing was a little fuzzy at that point, blood rushing in my 
eardrums.  He lapped me gently as I came down, then removed his 
fingers, lapping my wetness again and murmuring, "So beautiful, 
Scully.  God, you taste good too."

I tugged on his shoulders and he took the hint, crawling into the 
cradle of my thighs.  For the first time, I really looked at him, 
reaching down between us as he held himself up on his knees, and 
wrapped my fingers around his shaft.  He groaned and I almost 
swooned at the feel of his silky hardness, pulsing hot and heavy in 
my hand.

MotherofGodhewashuge!  I stroked him carefully and then with 
more confidence, letting my palm spread his precum over his glans 
as I slipped down to the root. He threw his head back and enjoyed 
the feeling of it as he bucked gently into my hand.  Finally, he 
grasped my wrist gently and pulled me away, catching my eyes.

"Enough," he said, his voice ragged with desire and I felt myself 
swept with another round of arousal.  "I want to be inside you, 
Scully."

I nodded.

He lowered himself in between my thighs, lacing his fingers with 
mine and pinning my hands beside my head on the bed.  I raised 
my legs high on his hips and he looked down to aim.  As his flared 
tip entered my tunnel, we both gasped as my muscles spasmed 
around him.

He said it again, "I love you, Scully," and continued to push inside.  
He watched my face intently as he entered me slowly.  My 
breathing was ragged and I was having trouble keeping my eyes 
open but I wanted to watch his eyes.

I hissed once about midway and he stopped.  "O.K.?"

I nodded.  "Yeesss, you feel so good.  God, you're so big," I 
mumbled.

He chuckled, but didn't respond otherwise, just continued his slow 
descent until his long shaft was embedded in my core.  He rocked 
my hips back and pressed himself deeper, pushing on my cervix 
and stretching it taut.  He moaned with a guttural tone, "Oh Scully, 
you feel so incredible."

"I love your voice when you're aroused," I babbled.  He smiled at 
that, blinking slowly.

We stayed like that, releasing shuddering breaths for a minute or 
so.  Finally, he released my hands and cupped my face.  He began 
thrusting gently, his strokes gaining depth as my muscles adjusted, 
fluttering spastically at the long forgotten sensation of a hard cock 
sliding in and out, massaging my walls.

We both grunted and groaned alternately for several minutes.  I 
knew he was going slow because he wanted this to last.  But I 
wanted to feel him let go.  I whispered, "I want to watch you come, 
Mulder.  Faster."

He moaned and sped up, his strokes smooth and steady.  He 
whispered, "I'm going to make you come again."

I shook my head, "I can't come in this position, Mulder. Don't 
worry about it.  You already gave me an incredible orgasm.  I want 
to watch you come.  Come for me, let loose."

He groaned and sped up some, saying in between strokes, "Yes, ... 
you will ... you can ... 'cause I'm ... not leaving ... until you do."

"I can't," I said, chuckling at his determination.

"You will," he said with quiet confidence.  He reached down and 
pulled one leg up with his palm under my knee.  He pushed it wide 
and pushed gently until it was almost on the mattress next to my 
arm pit.  I doubted he could make it happen.  It was no reflection 
on him as a lover.  It was me.  I'd never come in the missionary 
position.  I'd never come more than once for that matter.  Once I'd 
had my release, I was done.

But that didn't mean I didn't enjoy the feeling of him inside me.  I 
loved it.   I just wasn't one of those women who was multi-
orgasmic.  I'd accepted that a long time ago.  It had been so long 
since I'd come at all except by my own hand, that I was thrilled 
that he'd made me come so easily by going down on me.  God, he 
thought my mouth was sexy?  His mouth was unbelievably sexy.  
It was fact, that this was not the best position for a woman.  But I'd 
wanted to feel and see him above me.

He was entering me at an angle now, making him feel enormous.  
He hitched up on his knees a bit and began to pump into my in 
earnest, pressing up with his hips at the bottom of each stroke as 
my hips tilted further up.

He slipped a fraction deeper and within three strokes I felt the new 
sensations. He was sliding over my G-spot when he pressed up.  
As he stroked back out, his large cock slid across the bottom of my 
throbbing clit.

I began to wail as my womb contracted with every stroke and my 
clitoris jumped and twitched.  He dropped his head next to mine 
and his lips latched onto the tender skin behind my ear.  He sucked 
gently in time with his rapid, deep strokes.

My free foot dropped to the bed and I met his thrusts.  I couldn't 
stop my head from thrashing back and forth as my body sunk into 
a whirlpool of pleasure and waving sensations as he continued his 
assault.

Before I even had time to register that I was building up to another 
incredible climax, my body broke apart, quaking and spasming all 
over. "Awwwwww, God, Muullddeerr!  Oh, you did it!  I'm 
coming aggaaiinn, can't believe it!  I screamed, hearing my own 
voice like an echo as it rolled over me ... and rolled over me ... and 
rolled over me.

God help me.  Not only had I never come in this position, I'd never 
come like this in my life.  My whole body was involved.  There 
was no up, no down, no sideways.  There was just my body 
floating in a vat of pleasure as I shrieked and surrendered to it.

As I began to come down, my eyes rolled back into my head. 
Mulder let go of my leg and it dropped to the bed. He took his 
weight on both of his elbows again and began sinking into me for 
all he was worth with deep, harsh strokes.  I whispered nonsense 
encouragement as he raced towards his completion.  "Yes, that's it, 
let go.  Oh God, Mulder, you're so beautiful, so sexy.  Let me see.  
Let me see."

I couldn't take my eyes off him.  His neck was stretched taut, his 
head thrown back and he stroked into me deeply.  He wasn't 
frantic, but he was moving fast and hard.  His eyes were closed, his 
jaw slack, his face in a grimace of pleasure. His back muscles 
rolled under my hands as he pumped into me.  It was the most 
beautiful sight I'd ever seen.  I bucked, trying to meet his thrusts, 
but missing one here and there.

I slid my hands down, grasping the tops of his butt cheeks and 
pulling him to me with every stroke, feeling his gluts clench with 
every stroke.  He was stiff and still for one incredible heartbeat, his 
torso towering above my body.  That picture will forever be etched 
in my mind's eye.

Then he howled and began spilling into me, burying his head in 
my hair again, but still pumping for all he was worth.  "Oh 
Goooddd! Sccuullyy!  Oh Jesus, Oh Scully, Oh Goooddd!  Awww, 
sssoooo good."

I could feel his enormous shaft pulse and twitch before each 
ejaculation, and then the hot splash of his semen, coating my walls, 
making me flutter with aftershocks as his pubic bone brushed my 
clit.

He groaned finally and collapsed, boneless in my arms, his hips 
shuddering against my wet thighs.  Sweat made his back slick and 
I slid my hands gently up and down over  his broad back muscles.  
He gasped and struggled to bring his breathing under control.

At last, he lifted his head, a languid, sleepy smile spreading across 
his lips.  We kissed gently.  Our passion was spent.  This was a 
kiss of affirmation, a gentle reminder of his love for me in the 
midst of the furious passion.  I sighed deeply and he shifted his 
weight.

"No, stay," I said, as he made to roll off me.

He caught my eyes.  "I'm not too heavy?"

"No, you feel fantastic.  I love your weight."

He slumped down again and nuzzled my hair, tickling my ear. He 
flexed his hips and his now flaccid penis slid out of me, dragging a 
sticky mess with it.  We both sighed in disappointment, then 
chuckled.

We were quite for a moment, just enjoying the contact.  One hand 
flitted idly over my shoulders.  Finally, I said, "We're laying in the 
wet spot."

He laughed and rolled off me.  "You're the one that told me to 
stay."

"I wasn't complaining.  Just stating the facts."

I rolled over against his side and snuggled up to him, our skin still 
sweaty and damp.  I shivered as he kissed the top of my head.  "I 
love you, Scully."

"I love you too, Mulder."

"So, Scully?"

"What?"

"Did you set out to seduce me tonight?"  His voice was a total 
tease.

I looked up at him and grinned at the impish look of innocence on 
his face.  "I guess so.  I wasn't sure.  I was in a quandary."

"A quandary?"

"Yeah, after my strenuous objections of this afternoon, I wondered 
if it made me a total hypocrite to then go ahead and try for a 
romantic evening."

"As opposed to just 'putting it out there'? he teased.

I smiled.  "Yeah, something like that."

"So what decided it for you?"

"My mother."

"Your mother?!" he asked, obviously shocked.

I grinned.  "I called her to just tell her that I was ... what happened 
and how ... scared I was ... and I didn't know what to do at first."

He swallowed harshly.  "I didn't tell her any dirty secrets or 
details."

He nodded.

"So after much whining and waffling, I basically posed the 
question:  To seduce or not to seduce?"

"And her answer."

"In so many words ... you know what he wants, he told you, so do 
it.  Then ... "

"Then?"

"She didn't come right out and say it but the message was clear."

"And the message was?"

"Follow your heart."

"And what did your heart say?"

"Jump the boy's bones," I said calmly, biting my lip to keep from 
laughing.

He broke out laughing.  "Jesus, Scully!  I almost had a heart attack 
when you opened that door dressed like that."

"I was hoping you might."

"You tease."

"You said you liked to be teased."

"As long as I wasn't left hanging," he finished for me.

"And I didn't, leave you hanging that is."

"No you didn't."

"So you've changed my mind about yet another thing."

"Oh really.  So what's the verdict on seduction now, Scully?"

"You mean when faced with the option: To seduce or not to 
seduce?"

"Yeah."

"Definitely seduce."

He chuckled. "My turn next week."

"I'll look forward to it."

THE END.