Vietnam Journal 
By Helen
 
 
 
Oct 5, 1970 Field Hospital Saigon 
 
Today they brought in a young Marine. My guess is he's 
still in his teens. He's on a stretcher but in a half unzipped 
black bag, the kind used for corpses. When I ask about 
this I'm told he was pronounced dead at the site of a 
massive ambush. The only survivor, in fact. It's my job to 
clean him, dress his wounds and get him into a cot. When 
I unzip the bag I find he's naked. 
 
"Yeah." the corpsman who brought him in says. "We 
found him stripped of everything, uniform, weapon, 
boots.All they left him with was his tags." 
 
"Okay, let's see who you are." I say wiping the bloody 
tags with my thumb. "Skinner, Walter S. Damned VC 
bastards didn't even leave you your dignity. Did they?" Oh 
well, no time to dwell on that. I take his vitals and 
manuver his long legs out of the bag. There's clotted 
blood everywhere but I can still make out the lines of his 
strong young body. He's well muscled which may account 
for how he survived.  
 
As I clean him, careful around his many wounds, I take in 
the details, he has high cheek bones and a strong jaw, 
thick neck, puffed up pectorals and a small waist and 
hips. Powerful thighs surround a...oh my, even flaccid he 
has a beautiful penis and scrotum. I know what I'm talking 
about. I've cleaned enough broken soldiers from head to 
foot to know well formed genitals when I see them. It 
takes a while but once I clean him, dress his wounds and 
get him into a hospital gown, I get him moved to a clean 
cot. I stroke his buzz cut. "Rest easy, Skinner Walter S., 
I'll be back later."  
 
I check on everyone in the ward,doing whatever I can, 
although most of them are boys. They've fought valiantly 
and deserve the best I can give them. I'm only twentyone 
and a fledging nurse but, I enlisted to be of service to the 
them and found I can work days that can be eighteen 
hours long when the ambulances and helocopters come 
in full. So I write in this journal whenever I have a moment 
to myself just to have a record of it later or, if I don't 
make it, someone will find it a know what it was like for 
me. 
 
I lock my journal, tuck it under my mattress and go to 
sleep.

Oct 15 1970 Field Hospital, Saigon 
 
Skinner's been in a coma for the ten days that he's been 
here but I talk to him anyway. The guy in the next cot 
thinks I'm nuts but it's still possible for him to come out of 
it even though the chances diminish after three days. I 
can't give up on him as long as he's breathing. I sit in a 
hard chair next to his cot. Sometimes I read to him. 
Sometimes I just talk. Today I was lightly massaging his 
head. I like its shape and the way it feels with its short 
growth of hair. Then I let my fingers stroke his face. I've 
avoided this because it just seems so personal 
so....intimate. But today I figured I deserved a treat. 
 
"I'll bet you don't even shave daily." I whispered, still 
stroking his jaw. 
 
"You'd lose." his voice rumbled from somewhere deep 
inside him. Even his whisper had a rich depth to it. 
 
I pulled my hand back quickly. 
 
"I'm sorry. That's none of my business." I said. "But I 
*am* glad you're back with us. You had quite a nap." 
 
"Do I qualify as Rumplestilskin?" he asked. I shook my 
head. 
 
"Can I at least hope the war's over?" Again I responded in 
the negative.  
 
"Who are you?" 
 
"Nurse Fielding." 
 
"Do you have a first name?" 
 
"Yes, it's Danielle." 
 
"Can you tell me why you deserve a treat today?" 
 
"You heard that,I wasn't aware I'd said it aloud." 
 
"So?" 
 
"Today's my birthday. Thank you for waking up. It's the 
nicest gift I could've received." 
 
The doctor came over then and berated me for not calling 
him the moment Lance Corporal Skinner woke. I wanted 
the floor to open up and swallow me, I was so 
embarrassed.  
 
"Doctor." Skinner spoke up. "I was disoriented. The nurse 
was just helping me get familiar with my surroundings." 
 
Dr. Mason turned to me. "Check the rest of the ward. I'll 
take over here." 
 
"Yes Sir." I said and turn crisply on my heel.  
 
He pulls the curtain around Skinner's cot so I don't know 
what he's doing but I imagine he's going to give him a 
thorough physical now that he's awake and can co-
operate. John, the soldier in the next bed teases me but 
his words are a gently veiled warning. 
 
"Don't get too close to any of us. We'll just leave and 
break your heart." 
 
"I know, that's what we were taught before we were sent 
here but, I'm only human." I laugh trying not to make too 
much of the fact that I'm half way in love with the lance 
corporal already. 
 
It's the end of the day now and I should get my rest. I 
may be back on shift in a few hours. You never can tell. I 
think about my corporal...I know I shouldn't refer to him 
that way even in my imagination but, there's something 
about him that sets him apart from all the others I treated, 
cared for and saw on their way. A little voice inside 
reminds me this isn't a romance novel and I'm hardly the 
swooning heroine. One of the reasons I got this 
assignment is because I'm well...sturdy. I'm almost six 
feet tall. I can and have lifted unconcious men as well as 
practically carried men who could barely walk and if that 
weren't enough, I'm plain. Someone who is easy to talk to 
while performing what would be an embarrassing act of 
personal examination were it being done by a pretty 
woman. I'm a 'safe' reminder of home. Oh well, no use 
wasting time pitying myself when I could be sleeping.

Oct 18 1970 Field Hospital, Saigon 
 
I took a peak at Skinner's chart today. Dr. Mason's 
examination revealed more severe injuries than first 
suspected. I have mixed feelings about this news. I want 
more than anything for him to be alright but, his recovery 
will keep him here for quite a while. I know how selfish it 
sounds but at least I'll be able to see him, maybe get to 
know him and if he's here, he's not in the jungle getting 
shot at.The doctor had him sit up for a little while today. 
We talked while he was upright and he asked me to call 
him Walter and asked if he could call me Danielle. My 
heart did a flip-flop even though it was probably just 
easier for him. 
 
 
 
Nov 3 1970 Field Hospital, Saigon 
 
Walter's been having nightmares. Awful ones. Sometimes 
he screams and/or weeps. At others, he gasps for air. It 
breaks my heart to hear him but, today he almost choked 
me when I tried to wake him. Once he was aware of what 
he was doing, he apoligized profusely and told me a little 
of one of his worst dreams. It was about an old woman 
who sits on his chest. He can't breathe. She trying to tell 
him something but he can't make it out. That's when he's 
gasping. 
 
"I thought you were her." he said sheepishly. 
 
"It's alright." I said lightly. I could've ducked out of the 
way." But I was thinking how much I'd love to sit on his 
chest...or any other part of his body for that matter. Then 
I had to berate myself for my weakness and remind 
myself I'm here to patch them up,plump their pillows and 
tell them it will be alright, nothing more. I serve a 
temporary function at best. Once they leave here I'll be 
nothing more than a vague memory. I have to remember 
that or I'm going to get hurt for sure. 
 
I know I know. My logical mind keeps pumping that litany 
but my heart refuses to accept it. He held onto my arm 
when he said he was sorry. Those calloused hands sent a 
thrill through me I never imagined I could feel. I know I'm 
getting worse. 
even the little voice inside knows I'm totally besotted and 
has given up trying to reason with me except to tell me to 
be prepared for a giant thud when I come back to earth. 
I'm lying in my cot now rubbing my arm. It still tingles from 
his touch.

Nov 18 1970 Field Hospital 
 
As the days became weeks, his swelling went down, the 
superficial wounds and bruises healed and physical 
therapy, such as it was, began. Walter was becoming less 
than the ideal patient. It was understanable though. He 
was anxious to be out of here, to be shipped back home, 
to get on with his life. I knew I had to do something to 
kepp his spirits up. One day when I had a few hours till 
my shift, I came to visit him. I brought along a deck of 
cards.  
 
" So what do you want to play?" I asked, thinking that if I 
were a gorgeous woman he'd have a very different 
answer. 
 
"I can't remember details of the card games I knew." he 
said sadly. 
 
"Well then, we'll have to go back to the beginning." I said. 
 
We ended up playing Go Fish. As time went on though his 
skills returned along with comprehension. When I thought 
he was ready for it,I brought two decks of cards and we 
played concentration. The game was played with all 102 
cards laid face down and to match pairs of the same suit. 
Like two 3's of clubs, etc. If you did, you could take them 
off the board.( his tray table). The person with the most 
pairs once the board was cleared won. He seemed to like 
this game and excelled at it. During play, we'd ask each 
other questions and found out a lot about each other. He 
asked where I was from. 
 
"Chapel Hill North Carolina. How about you?" I asked. 
 
"West Texas." 
 
"You grew up on a ranch?" 
 
"Yes.Why?" 
 
"Oh, I thought as much when they first brought you in. 
You looked like you'd worked hard all your life." 
 
"I guess I have." 
 
"It served you well for your survival." 
 
And so it went on. He'd ask about my life, I'd ask about 
his. 
 
"I don't even know what I'll have of a life when I get out of 
here, IF I get out of here." he amended. 
 
"Oh no Walter, don't say that." I said placing my hand on 
his arm. "You mustn't think that way." 
 
It was all I could do not to cry. We were having such a 
good time talking and playing the game. Then he sounded 
so sad. 
 
"How do you do it?" he asked softly. 
 
"Do what?" I asked genuinely baffled. 
 
"Give of yourself day after day. Maintain your patience 
and your sense of humor." 
 
"I may give but, I always keep something of myself for 
me. As for the patience, well that's learned like anything 
else. My humor is so much a part of who I am I can't 
imagine being without it." 
 
"Doesn't it ever grate on your nerves to deal with the sick 
and wounded?" 
 
"It only bothers me when we can't save them." I said 
truthfully. 
 
"Now I know you put in impossible shifts. I've seen you 
here almost around the clock." 
 
"You were supposed to be resting, not keeping track of 
how many bedpans I emptied." I said smiling, hoping to 
get off the subject. I don't feel like a hero and I don't think 
what I do is any more than thousands of other nurses 
have done in this and other wars. We do what we have to 
do, what we were trained for and move on. 
 
"Could we drop the subject and get back to the game?" I 
asked. 
 
"Okay." he conceded. 
 
Later that night I found myself crying when I was trying to 
go to sleep. I got up and walked outside so as not to 
wake the other nurses. This wasn't like me at all but, I just 
couldn't stop. Maybe Walter touched a nerve, a part of 
me I keep buried so deep no one would ever guess its 
existence. The part of me that wants the comfort I give 
out all day. The part that wants to be held and loved. I 
was a twenty two year old woman among thousands of 
men and I was still a virgin. I've been alone most of my 
life and I thought I'd insulated myself. But the feelings 
came to the surface today because Walter..cares. 
 
I was looking up at the moon trying to reconcile 
everything when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I nearly 
jumped out of my skin. 
 
"I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep either and it's too hot inside." 
Walter said as a way of explaining his presence. He 
looked closely at me. 
 
"You've been crying." 
 
"Yes I have." 
 
"Why?" 
 
I shrugged, unsure of how to explain the reason for my 
tears. 
 
"Sometimes it *does* catch up with me." I said hoping 
that would satisfy his curiosity. He leaned against the 
barricks and looked at the moon. 
 
"I remember seeing the full moon on a clear night like 
tonight in Texas thinking it looked close enough to touch." 
 
"It must have been beautiful." I said. 
 
"There's nothing prettier than a Texas sky." he said 
smiling. 
 
"I should try to get some sleep. It's going to be a full day 
tomorrow. You should too." I said putting on my best 
'nurse' manner. 
 
"Danielle?" he said softly. It felt like a caress when he said 
my name like that. 
 
"Yes?" 
 
"Is there anything I can do?" 
 
Hell yeah Honey, you can take me in those strong arms 
and love me till I can't walk. I thought. 
 
"No, just try to get some sleep." is what I actually said. 
 
"I will. Goodnight." he said and turned away. 
 
"Goodnight Walter." I said and the tears started flowing 
again.

Dec 17 1970 Field Hospital, Saigon 
 
I never did stop crying that night nor did I get much sleep. 
It had been so long since I'd wept I guess once I started, 
the waterworks had to continue till they ran their course. 
The next morning I was red eyed, tired and had one 
ripper of a headache. Anyone would have thought I had a 
hangover except I didn't have the fun of getting drunk. 
That afternoon at mail call, I was surprised to receive a 
package. It was from home. It was in pretty bad condition 
but whatever it was I was thrilled to have it. I went on duty 
shortly after that and took my treasure with me.  
 
I checked on everyone else first, then came over to 
Walter's bed. 
 
"Hi." I said cheerfully. 
 
"Hi back at ya." he smiled. 
 
"Look what I've got." I said taking my gift from behind my 
back. It was a radio that my brother sent me for my 
birthday. 
 
"I think it travelled all over the South China Sea but it 
finally got here. One of the other girls has one too and 
she told me about a DJ at the Armed Forces Radio 
Network who realizes most of us are young and plays 
music accordingly. His name is Pat something or other. 
Let me turn this on and see if we can catch him. We did. 
Just in time to hear Sly and The Family Stone singing 
"Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin". 
 
I watched him move in time to the music. I'll bet he's a 
great dancer. I thought. I stayed with him for a few more 
songs then I had to get back to work. I suggested he 
keep it while I was on my shift. 
 
"No Danielle, it *your* gift. Besides I'll run the batteries 
down." 
 
"My brother thought to send me extras...lots of them. I'd 
like you to be able to listen during the day if you want to 
and I can pick it up after work so I can listen at night." 
 
"Alright. Thank you." he said.  
 
 
 
Dec 25 1970 Field Hospital, Saigon 
 
We celebrated some semblence of Christmas today with 
a traditional meal the CO had brought in and a church 
service for those who wanted to attend.I heard some of 
the troops got to go to a USO show. It's times like these 
that I really miss home. Not that I have much family, just 
my brother Rich but, the normalcy of celebrating the 
holidays. Of listening to music and dancing around like a 
fool. I can't imagine I'll ever think of fireworks or the 
clatter of New Year's Eve without relating them to the 
sound of dropping bombs.I think I may just be getting 
tired of the smell of death around me all the time. 
Perhaps I've hit the bottom of that seemingly endless well 
of patience Walter seems to think I have. I know part of 
my ennui is because he's up and around which means 
he'll be leaving soon. I feel that big thud coming. To keep 
from thinking about it, I tend to those soldiers who have 
been brought in since and need my attention more than 
he does. I still see him at the end of the day to get my 
radio but, I don't stay. I'm pooped but not because I work 
a long day but, because it's such an effort not to think 
about him.  
 
 
 
Dec 29 1970 Field Hospital, Saigon 
 
I saw Dr. Morgan signing a form on Walter's chart. I 
couldn't imagine why. So when he left, I took a look. 
Walter was out as he often was in the daytime now. The 
signature was on his release form. Walter would be 
shipped out tomorrow. I went through the rest of my shift 
like an automaton, trying to figure how to handle it. Later, 
when I was in bed, I came up with one scenario after 
another. I wanted to settle for the one where I could 
shake his hand and wish him well but, I had no idea how 
to pull it off. 
 
 
 
Dec 30 1970 Field hospital, Saigon 
 
I decided on the cowardly thing. I checked into sick bay 
so I wouldn't have to be on shift when he left. I saw him 
board his transport. Just briefly and from behind but, he 
looked so damned good in his uniform. As soon as the 
chopper lifted into the air, I really *was* sick. I vomited 
everything in my stomach and ran a fever. The doctor told 
me it was exhaustion and I started laughing 
uncontrollably. He should only know.....

This Portion Told by Walter  
 
April 16 2000 The Vietnam Veteran's War Memorial, 
Washington DC 
 
I don't come here often anymore. But, the invitation I got 
with the morning mail prompted a visit. The 25th 
anninversary of the fall of Saigon will be in two weeks. My 
head is filled with memories everytime I'm here but two 
always stand out, how close I came to being a name on 
this granite edifice and the woman who gave me back my 
life. Oh I'm grateful to the corpsmen who found me and 
got me to the hospital and the doctors who treated me 
but it was one nurse who wouldn't give up on me even 
when I gave up on myself. I wonder about what happened 
to her. I sit on a bench facing the wall and let my mind 
drift back. She was talking to me when I first became 
aware of being awake. She was stroking my face and 
pulled her hand away as soon as I spoke. If I had known 
that would happen, I would've kept quiet. She had a killer 
schedule but always made time for me. We talked while 
we played cards. One day she even brought a radio for 
me to use during the day. So when my release orders 
came through she was the first one I wanted to tell, to 
celebrate with but she was nowhere to be found. I asked 
the replacement nurse, a very sour woman who informed 
me Danielle had reported in sick that morning. I wanted to 
go visit her in sick bay, if only to reverse the roles for 
once. To see if I could give back a fraction of what she 
had given me. But my transport was already landing and 
he didn't plan to stick around long enough for me to say 
my farewells, so I boarded the chopper and lived with the 
regret ever since. It's slipped to the back of my memory 
but it surfaces at times like this.  
 
"Hey, Jarhead!"  
 
I'm jolted out of my reverie by my friend and Marine lifer 
Keith Davidson. 
 
"That's former Jarhead to you, Jarhead." I said standing 
to shake hands. 
 
"Come here often?" he asked. 
 
"I was just thinking that I don't as often as I used to." 
 
"Yeah, It's good to remember but important to move on." 
 
"I come to keep things in perspective." 
 
"Did you get the invitation?" he asked. 
 
"Yeah, I'm kinda surprised too. I was long gone from Nam 
when Saigon fell." 
 
"But you were there for quite a while weren't you?" 
 
"Three months before I was wounded, then I was in the 
hospital for another three." 
 
"Long enough." he said. " So, can I expect to see you 
there?" 
 
"Ahh what the hell, why not?" 
 
"Can you still fit into your uniform?" 
 
"Are you kidding? I was eighteen the last time I wore it. 
I'm two and a half times that plus." 
 
"Well you're not two and a half times the size so get it 
tailored. I'll expect you there." he said and with a clap on 
the back he was gone. 
 
***** 
 
Apr 30 2000 The Pentagon 1900 Hours 
 
Walter arrived right on time and in full dress uniform, 
cover under his arm, complete with polished sword on his 
hip. 
 
The banquet hall was converted for tonight from a 
meeting room. It was huge. There had to be five hundred 
people here. Guests were milling around, drinks in hand. 
He worked his way through the crowd till he found Keith. 
 
"So, you made it." Keith chided."And on time too." 
 
Walter stood back for his friend's inspection. 
 
"So, What do you think?" 
 
"My compliments to your tailor." Keith laughed and led 
him to the bar for drinks. 
 
At the opposite end, a woman stood catching up with 
friends from her old unit. These were the women who 
along with herself had volunteered to stay after Jan 15 
1973 when President Nixon announced the suspension of 
offensive action and the Paris Peace Accord was signed 
on Jan 27 of that year, citing the many military personal 
still recovering in their field hospital. They only left by 
forced evacuation during the fall of Saigon on April 29 
1975.  
 
The two men passed the group just as Keith was getting 
to the punchline of a funny story he was telling Walter. He 
burst out laughing. The woman felt a tingling up her spine 
as she recognized the deep rumbling laughter that could 
belong to only one man. She had hoped time would dim 
the memory of the handsome lance corporal. She dared a 
glance in his direction. Maybe she was wrong. No. She 
wasn't, it was him and he looked spectacular. She 
excused herself from the group and went to the ladies 
room.  
 
Once in the privacy of the stall, she tried to gather her 
thoughts and figure out what to do. But first, memories 
flooded her brain. Her thoughts from the last time she 
saw him became a vivid scenario behind her closed lids. 
He was boarding the chopper, she was convinced this 
was for the best. Even if they *had* become involved (fat 
chance), she didn't want to endure the snickers because 
they were such an obvious mismatch. Walter, with his 
dark hair and eyes, the deep bronze he'd acquired during 
his months in the jungle which made the whites of his 
eyes and his teeth stand out in contrast only enhanced 
his good looks. She, on the other hand, had mousy brown 
hair that had picked up some copper highlights from the 
sun, her eyes were an unusual honey color and her ivory 
skin, which didn't tan easily had deepened in tone with the 
long stay in Saigon. She'd worn her hair very short for 
practicality and even at that the humidity played havoc 
with it. She had never really gotten into wearing makeup 
and it would be absurd to try it in this atmosphere.  
 
She finished up and flushed. She came to the sink and 
washed her hands then, catching her reflection she had to 
admit she had made quite a few changes since then. Her 
hair was a little longer, just past her chin. She had liked to 
highlights so now she had the salon add them regularly. A 
friend in med school had helped her learn about make-up 
and how to put it on but, she had turned her face over to 
the salon's makeup artist for tonight and she had done a 
wonderful job. Yes, she *did* look better than she used to 
but was it enough to give her the confidence to go back 
out there and talk to him. Would she be able to hide the 
fact her illness that day had been a sham cause she 
didn't know how to say good bye to him?  
 
She stared at her reflection, unable to make a decision. 
Well one thing was certain, she couldn't spend the rest of 
the night in the latrine. She dried her hands and headed 
for the door. She had successfully reached the coat 
check to get her wrap when she heard his voice behind 
her. 
 
"Excuse me but, are you a nurse in...." he didn't get to 
finish before she cut him off. 
 
"No I'm not. You must have mistaken me for someone 
else. Now if you'll excuse me please." she said swinging 
her velvet cape around her bare shoulders. She walked 
away purposefully. She spoke to the doorman and a few 
minutes later her car and driver pulled up to the door.  
 
His gaze followed her and remained until she got into her 
limousine. No he conceded, she was obviously someone 
higher ranking than a nurse. 
 
Danielle pulled the cape close around her. During her 
many years working at the Pentagon she had lost the bit 
of southern accent she still had when she was in Vietnam. 
She was glad she didn't have to cover it up to talk to him. 
Her lie was bad enough.  
 
'It wasn't really a lie.' her inner voice reminded her. You 
aren't a nurse.' 
 
"No, not anymore but, I didn't even give him the chance 
to finish his question and I certainly didn't volunteer any 
information." 
 
'So, you got away clean that's what you wanted wasn't it?' 
the voice taunted. 
 
"Yes I suppose it is." 
 
'Are we still going to the wall tomorrow?' it asked. 
 
"Yes, after talking with members of the old unit, it's 
important to go pay my respects to those who didn't make 
it out." 
 
 
 
May 1 2000 Vietnam War Memorial 
 
Walter came back today to see if Danielle's name was on 
the wall. He hoped not but he looked for the section 
where the names of the nurses from her unit were 
carved. As he approached he saw a woman in uniform 
holding a bouquet. 
 
Danielle stopped at the florist's and picked up a nosegay 
of pink tea roses to bring for her friend Jill. She'd often 
talked about how she couldn't wait to get back home to 
her garden, saying she never felt closer to heaven than 
when she was digging in the earth. Danielle laid the 
flowers at the base of the section with Jill's name. 
 
"I hope God gave you a nice plot to work." she said as 
she pressed her hand against her name. 
 
Walter stood back waiting for the woman to finish her visit 
and lay her flowers down so he could study the section. 
Amazingly, when she turned around it was not only the 
woman from last night but, her name plate read Fielding, 
D.F. M.D. 
 
"So, it *was* you last night." he said, his voice a 
combination of anger and relief. "I came to see if your 
name was here." 
 
When she said nothing he continued. 
 
"You knew it was me too, didn't you?" 
 
"Yes." she said barely above a whisper. 
 
"Why Danielle, why did you want to evade me like that?" 
Now he sounded more hurt than angry. 
 
"I wish I had a good explanation. I felt bad cause I never 
said goodbye to you before you left so I guess I didn't feel 
there was closure between us. Then yesterday was 
already such an emotional experience. I just wasn't ready 
to take on any more." 
 
"I'd always wished it could be something different between 
us. I was attracted to you from the start, you were so 
compassionate and friendly but, you never crossed that 
line. You know how things were then. I couldn't make you 
promises I might not live to keep and, unlike other guys 
who had girlfriends safely tucked away at home, you were 
in just as much danger as I was so it was in part, self-
preservation to not get involved with you." 
 
"What line?" she asked. 
 
"The line of professional propriety. Crossing it would have 
changed our relationship." 
 
He gave her moment to absorb that. 
 
"But that shouldn't matter now unless you're with 
someone." he let the unasked question hang in the air. 
 
It was her chance to stop this from going farther...if that's 
what she wanted.  
 
"Walter." she said carefully choosing her words. "It's too 
late. Whatever we had belongs to the past." 
 
"Maybe but, what we *can* have is here and now, if we 
want it. There's no restrictions and no danger, at least not 
more than to anyone else." 
 
"I don't know." she said hesitantly. 
 
"Danielle, it's been thirty years. How much longer do you 
want to wait?" he said, taking her hand. 
 
That did her in and he knew it. 
 
"You felt more for me back then than you ever let on, 
didn't you?" he asked.  
 
"Why do you say that?" 
 
"Because you're trembling." 
 
Suddenly she felt as if all her strength had left her. He 
pulled her to him in the embrace she'd dreamed of all 
those years ago and was certain it would always remain 
just that...a dream. She let herself relax against his chest, 
with her head on his shoulder.  
 
"We can take this as slowly as you want, just as long as 
we *do* take it." he whispered in her ear.  
 
***** 
 
They started with friendship.Meeting for lunches or 
sporting events, nothing romantic.As it became Summer, 
they started running together. They met in the park early 
in the morning but as the season progressed it got too hot 
even that early so they decided to meet late in the 
evenings at the pool in the FBI building. Things changed 
one Friday night after they had swam for two hours, 
racing for the last half. They were alone and each went to 
their respective locker room to shower. Walter finished 
first. He wrapped a towel around his hips and went over 
to hers. He stepped inside and followed the sound of 
running water. He turned a corner to find her rinsing off 
behind the frosted glass door. He leaned on the wall next 
to it. 
 
"You know, It's unfair that you saw me naked the very 
first day and I still haven't seen you in the buff." 
 
She smiled and opened the door. 
 
"Then I guess it's about time you did." she said, making 
room for him to join her. He let his towel fall to the floor 
and went in. 
 
His arms went around her and his lips clamped down on 
hers. He had wanted this for a long time. He had no idea 
how long she had waited for it though.He kissed his way 
to her breasts, taking each one in his mouth to suckle, 
then kissed his way back to her lips. Their hands 
caressed everywhere they could reach. He slid down till 
he was kneeling before her. He placed his hands on her 
hips and kissed her abdomen then went south till he was 
past the triangle of brown curls. He kissed her nether lips, 
she quivered and moaned. He was encouraged and 
parted her with his tongue, lapping up inside her. This was 
beyond anything she'd imagined and felt her climax 
building. He backed off and was gratified by her groan of 
disappointment. He brought his hands around front to 
hold her outer lips open so he could pleasure her swollen 
bud. He used his tongue in a variety of ways to tease and 
delight, bringing her up over the edge. She moaned and 
sighed through her orgasm. He stood to face her for a 
reward kiss which she gladly gave, then took his face in 
her hands. 
 
"I have something to tell you before we go any further." 
 
"Oh?" 
 
"I've never done this before." 
 
"You're saying you've never had sexual intercourse?" 
 
"Yes. I only wanted you to know because I don't know 
what to do...to pleasure you I mean." 
 
He chuckled softly. 
 
"You don't have to do anything right now, I'm more than 
ready." 
 
He took her in his arms and brought his lips down on hers 
again. He lifted one leg and wrapped it around his back, 
slid his long middle finger up inside her till he hit the 
membrane. 
 
"It'll be easier if we do it this way." he whispered into her 
mouth. He kissed her passionately while he jabbed at her 
till the hymen broke. She winced a little from the sting but 
then he was stroking her in such a way that her 
excitement was building again. He brought her to climax 
then positioned himself in front of her, rubbing his cock 
head against her and just inside her to coat himself with 
her juices, then slowly entered her. She held him, loving 
the feeling of him filling her, stretching her. He tried to 
move slowly, easily but she began pumping, squeezing 
him till he could hold off no longer. They reached climax 
together, screaming their pleasure. Afterward, they 
realized how late it was, rinsed off and dressed quickly 
before the cleaning crew got there. 
 
During the Summer months Walter taught her all the 
many ways to pleasure him and showed her how enjoy 
her body. She had no preconceived notions so he was 
free to teach her different positions and they often used 
several in one night. By early Fall they knew they were 
deeply in love and were married in a quiet ceremony. 
 
 
 
Epilogue One Year Later 
 
Walter and Danielle sat at the breakfast table discussing 
plans for the coming weekend over second cups of 
coffee. Sunday was their first anniversary and they 
wanted to go away to celebrate.  
 
"Perhaps one of those out of the way Inns." he 
suggested. 
 
"Sounds good to me." she said, kissing him on the cheek 
as she got up to put her cup in the sink. "I have to push 
off. I have a meeting at 0730." 
 
"Okay. Will you bring me the paper from the hall before 
you leave?" 
 
"Sure." she said. A moment later she handed it to him, 
kissing him again before she left. 
 
"See you tonight." she said, grabbing her briefcase.  
 
He waved without lifting his head, little realizing he'd never 
see her again. He opened the paper and under the 
heading, The Washington Post was the date. 
 
September 11 2001 
 

The End