Title: Your Beautiful Mind Part By Mulderslady DISCLAIMER: They don't belong to me, wish they did. RATING: R to NC-17 CLASSIFICATION: Angst, MT, Smut KEYWORDS: MSR, Mental and Physical MT, Smut(now all we need is some slash and everyone would be happy!) SPOILERS: Amor Fati and a slight one from The Sixth Extinction URL: www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/5160/beautiful.html FEEDBACK: Please!!! at damacia@home.com ARCHIVE: Oh please, anywhere!! SUMMARY: After years on the edge, Mulder finally snaps ****************************************************** "I will continue here as long as I can... as long as you are beset by the haunting illness which I saw consume your beautiful mind." Scully from The Sixth Extinction ****************************************************** AUTHORS NOTE:: A more detailed explanation of Schizophrenia can be found at the end of this story. This is a serious long-term mental illness, and I described it as accurately as possible in my story, except schizophrenics are not usually prone to violent outbursts. I took a little poetic license there, sue me after med school. Barefoot, Mulder walked out of his apartment building, his dress shirt on, tie hanging untied around his neck, his suit pants on. Mulder put on his Yankees hat and looked around. They weren't people, they were him, every last one of them were that Smoking bastard. I'm finally going to kill you, you SOB, Mulder thought as he pulled out his Glock and took aim. Scully woke up and turned on the news. Skinner called moments later telling her to pay close attention to the next segment. "What am I looking for?" "The next story, they don't say his name, but it's about Agent Mulder." Then the reporter introduced the next segment. "A man was arrested this morning after going on a shooting spree which resulted in the death of two men and serious injuries to 14 others. He claimed they were all the same man. He's in Police custody pending arraignment." Scully sat stunned for a second then hurriedly got dressed and headed to the police station. What would have caused Mulder to finally snap? Why now? She called forensics to go analyze the water in Mulder's apartment. Maybe he was drugged again, he just couldn't be crazy, could he? Police station "Agent Scully, hi Lt. Johnson, we got him isolated in here. He was beating on some of the other prisoners in his group cell. I didn't want him to be charged with another murder." Scully watched Mulder running from wall to wall, screaming, and slamming himself into the wall. "He's crazy." Johnson said "No, really?" Scully replied sarcastically, then pressed the intercom to speak with him. "Mulder? Mulder? It's me Scully." He stopped for a second and stared at the door. "Hey Mulder, it's me. What happened?" "Scully? I tried to kill him but he kept coming back!" "Where are your shoes?" "I don't know." "He didn't have them on when we picked him up. We assumed he didn't have any." Lt. Johnson added. "Scully? Scully?" "Yes Mulder I'm still here. I'll be right back." "Scully he wanted to hurt you again. I couldn't let him. He kept coming back!" Then he suddenly let out a heart wrenching scream and said "NO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'M NOT LISTENING!!" then collapsed on the floor. Scully backed up, tears coming to her eyes. What has affected your beautiful mind so? What is the nature of this illness that tortures you?, she thought as she turned to Lt. Johnson. "He's going to need a lawyer and a therapist. I'm sure you and the DA's office can see he's not mentally stable." "Most definitely, I just have to keep him from killing himself till his arraignment." Arraignment "The next case the people versus special agent Fox William Mulder. How does the defendant plead?" "Not guilty by reason of insanity." Mulder sat in the chair, rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself, exhibiting facial ticks every few minutes. "State?" "The state concurs your honor. The defendant should be remanded to a mental institution where he can be evaluated and treated." "Done, we're in agreement? Bailiff take him away, next case." Mulder jumped up and screamed. "I'm not crazy!! It was him! It was him!" Mulder punched the bailiff hard in the face as he tried to grab him, 3 more dog piled him cuffing him quickly and dragging him away bucking and screaming. FBI headquarters "Spooky finally went off huh? Told you he was crazy." Scully heard everyone whispering as she headed to Skinner's office. "Agent Scully you are aware that Agent Mulder will be put on permanent medical disability leave?" "I guessed as much. What about the X-files, they've been solved for months." "That's your choice. If you choose to continue, you will be teamed up with a new partner, if not you have plenty of options open to you." "The X-files are Agent Mulder's and mine, it wouldn't be right to continue without him. If it's possible I'd like to transfer to Quantico, either as an assist path or teaching again." "How about one better? The Chief Path is retiring, and you'd be a great replacement." Scully considered it and nodded her approval. Skinner pulled out the transfer slip all ready for her to sign. Scully read it and signed. "Report to Quantico in 3 weeks, I'm going to miss seeing you and Agent Mulder." "Yes sir, you've been a great help and friend to us both, thank you and goodbye." Scully piled the last of there office in her trunk, she carefully laid Mulder's I Want to Believe poster on the passenger seat and smiled, imaging him there next to her complaining about her lead foot. She brushed angry tears from her eyes and pulled off. Arlington psychiatric hospital Scully watched Mulder from the control room pacing his padded cell, frantically screaming, slamming himself into the wall, smashing his head against it. "What's wrong with him?" She asked quietly. "We believe he's suffering from a form of schizophrenia, but he's too violent right now to get in and give him treatment. He's given 2 nurses concussions, broke one's nose." "Mulder . . .What caused this, he hasn't exhibited this behavior before. He just seems to have snapped." "Sometimes it happens like that, but we can't be sure till we can talk with him a bit. We can't do that till he calms down. He refuses to eat or drink, if he keeps up like this he'll die of starvation and dehydration." Scully sighed "Can I try?" "Try what?" "Talking with him, it may help." "Ok, but not inside his cell." "Fine." They walked down to his cell and Scully pressed the intercom "Mulder? Mulder? It's me." He ran to the door slamming against it, he looked out the window at her and smiled "Scully? Scully! Help me, he's everywhere!" "Calm down Mulder, the doctor wants to come in and give you something to make him go away ok?" Mulder nodded and stepped from the door. "Okay you can try now." Scully said as the doctor walked in cautiously with the syringe of sedative. He injected a complacent Mulder and hurried back out. Mulder sat down and started rocking back and forth "Scully?" "It's okay it'll help you sleep." "But he'll get you if I sleep." "No he won't he's dead, you killed him, it's okay now, get some sleep." Mulder soon was under the influence of the sedative and the doctor moved into action. "Ok we need X-rays, EEGs, MRIs, PET, Blood work, get him cleaned up, put him in a fresh pair of pants "Dr. Scully can you tell me more about his history anything peculiar? Any Relapses in Reality, Disorganized thinking and Speech, any Bizarre behavior?" "Bizarre? His nickname at the bureau was Spooky, everything he did was bizarre. I just thought it was normal Mulder behavior. Though I have noticed the last few weeks he started to laugh for no reason, and talk to himself but he's always done that." "Really? Anything else?" "Head and facial ticks. I noticed that, I thought it was stress." "I wish I could confirm it, but he's probably exhibited mild symptoms for years, some stimuli just set him off. This guy he's seeing, who is he?" "That's classified, but he was killed last year so I don't know why he's seeing or hearing him." "Hallucinations, what I think Agent Mulder has and has had for some time is Schizophrenia, it's strange that it's finally fully manifesting itself now." "Can stress cause it to manifest? I'm sorry I'm not familiar with psychosomatic illnesses." "Yes it can. Hold on a sec." The doctor said looking over the MRI and PET results. "See right here, in the frontal lobe, the abnormally low activity. That's probably what caused the impaired judgement and the perception that everyone was the same man. Do you have the blood work?" The doctor asked the tech that handed it to him. He looked over it and nodded. "Increased dopamine levels and serotonin levels. We need to get him started on some anti-psychotics. Do you live near him?" "Not at the moment, I got a job transfer in VA so I'll be moving soon. Why?" "He shouldn't live alone when he's released." "That would be convenient, most of his stuff was put in storage, we could look for a place together once he's stable." "We'll try him on Thorazine hopefully he takes well to it with no adverse side effects. I'll start it on him while he's still calm, excuse me." Scully sat and looked over the results again. Mulder is schizophrenic? Has been for a while? Spooky Mulder, he's strange, weird, crazy, wow! Could they have been right all along? Later that evening "What's he doing?" Scully asked looking at Mulder who was moving against the wall strangely. "We believe he's . . .um masturbating." "Huh?!" "It's a symptom." "I thought you gave him an anti-psychotic?" "He got violent, we couldn't get close to give him the injection. He refuses to eat or drink so we can't slip in there either." "Well you can't . . . he's humping the wall for god's sake why didn't you call me earlier?! I'll calm him down again." "Wait he's stopping." They watched as Mulder moved away from the wall and started talking animatedly with it. Scully tried hard to stifle a giggle. The doctor looked at her strangely. "It's either laugh or cry Doc." Scully explained then added " You want to try again?" "Mulder?" Scully said through the intercom. Mulder turned quickly looking for her "Scully?" Scully waved through the window and he walked over. He smiled at her sweetly as he appeared at the window. "Scully, how are you?" he asked softly "I'm fine how are you?" "Ok, I'm tired and hungry." "Well your foods over there." "It's poisoned." "How do you know?" "The voices in my head told me." "Oh well how about if I bring you something to eat I'll make sure it's not poisoned ok?" "Ok." "The doctor wants to give you some medicine, it will help you sleep ok?" "No, he's trying to kill me too." "The voices told you that too?" "Yeah." "Ok how about if I give you the shot?" "Ok" "I'll be right back." then turning to the doctor, "Give me a syringe, I'll be right back." The doctor filled a syringe with Thorazine and waited till Scully came back. "Can he have this?" Scully said holding up a Subway sandwich and chips. "Yes that's fine. Here's some juice, no caffeine for him yet. Here's the syringe, good luck." He locked the door behind her and watched carefully. "Hey Mulder. Here you go subway club and chips let me give you your shot 1st ok?" He nodded and waited as she prepped his arm. He leaned into her a little and smelled her hair, honey and roses, he thought, as he touched her cheek lightly. "There, here's some juice to drink ok. You eat I'll be back." "Don't leave." he said quietly as he sat down and opened his sandwich. "I'll be right outside." "No stay here until I go to sleep." "Let me put this away first ok." Scully said pointing to the syringe. He nodded and started eating. "I don't think it's safe for you to go back in there." "Schizo or not Mulder would never hurt me. He'll be asleep soon. I'll be fine." The doctor watched her with concern as she reentered the room. Mulder looked up and smiled at her still eating, Scully sat next to him and started talking with him. She petted his hair lightly and he leaned into her touch. "7 years together Scully, you must have seen this coming." Scully laughed at the familiar words "Yeah but not like this." "I feel like everyone is out to get me. I don't know what to believe or who to trust. You're the only one I trust Scully. You won't let anyone hurt me, will you?" "No Mulder I won't, but if your behavior is still erratic after the medicine, they may want to restrain you. If you don't start eating and drinking more, they may put a feeding tube in ok? I'll make sure everything is okay before they do anything alright?" "Yeah I'm sorry I'm being a pest." "Your not Mulder, your just scared" "Did I really kill some one Scully? An innocent person?" "Mulder you had no control over that. You're sick, hopefully we can get you well." "Do I have a job?" "No you're on permanent disability leave, full pension." "What about you?" "New chief path at Quantico." "Really? That's nice. What about my apartment and stuff?" "In storage, the doctor says you shouldn't stay by yourself when you're released, so I think we should be roommates. I'm going to have to move anyway. Arlington or Alexandria?" "Alexandria, I like the area, a ranch style condo or a house. It would give me something to do outside in the yard or something since I'm retired now." Mulder said with a disappointed tone. "You can still work" "Where? No other place holds my interest like the X-files and the FBI." "Well you could write, and if we get a house, you could be a community leader. Here tomorrow I'll bring some home magazines for Alexandria and we'll look through them ok?" Mulder nodded "Thanks Scully." He said as he curled up on the floor. She petted his hair till he was asleep, threw a blanket over him, cleaned up and left. ****************************************************** Next day Scully came into the control room and looked for Mulder. "Where is he?" "Hello Dr. Scully, he's on the regular ward." "You're kidding?" "No, the Thorazine worked wonders though he's still talking to himself and ticking, he's had no violent outbursts, he's as normal as he can be at the moment. He asked for you earlier." "Ok, so do you think once the Thorazine gets into his system it will stop his other symptoms?" "I hope so if not we can try him on risperdone, but that tends to make people extremely lethargic." "Ok I'm going to go see him, let me know if anything new comes up." Scully walked down to the floor and went to Mulder's room and laid the home magazines down. "Where is Fox Mulder?" she asked a nurse who came into change his sheets. "Mulder? He's in the day room." Scully nodded and headed in the direction of the dayroom. Mulder was the only one in there and he was lying across the couch having an in-depth conversation with himself. "Can I interrupt?" "Yeah, how are you today Scully?" "I'm fine, how do you feel?" "Better, did you bring the magazines?" "Yes there in your room." "Ok." He sat up and rose from the couch. "Come on." She reached for his hand and he took it lightly. "Mom wants to come and see you, to make sure your ok. I told her you were but she wants to see with her own eyes." "That's fine, Scully?" "Yes?" "I . . ." he started, stopping suddenly and kissing her forehead gently. "Thank you Mulder come on, what do you want a ranch or two story?" "A ranch, it has to have lots of land, I want a dog and a garden and stuff." "Domestic Mulder, I'm going to have to see that to believe it." The doctor watched them looking over magazines, especially Mulder's behavior towards Scully. "What does it look like to you Karen?" he asked Mulder's nurse. "What do you mean?" "Mr. Mulder watch him with Dr. Scully. What do you see?" Karen looked closely for a few minutes. Scully laughed at something he said, he smiled back gazing at her longingly. Karen smiled "Looks like he has a crush on her." "Do you think that's a recent development though?" "Hmm, I'd need more time to watch him." "Could you? I just want to make sure it's not part of his psychosis. Make sure he's not fixating on her." "No problem, can I have the narc key?" "Sure 100 mg of Thorazine for him." "100?" "Yes an increased dose my help his ticks." Karen nodded and left. 7 p.m. Scully's mom had come and gone. Mulder and Scully had decided on 4 different houses. "So I'll set up an appointment to see them, get you a furlough, and we'll go look at them ok?" Mulder nodded, brushing an errant strand of her fiery hair behind her ear tenderly. "So what kind of dog do you want? Large, small?" "Large, a shepherd or a husky." "A husky, sounds nice. When you're finally released, we'll see about doing some dog shopping." "Scully? I . . ." Mulder leaned and kissed her on the cheek softly. "Thank you Mulder, boy your affectionate today. Will I get flowers tomorrow?" Scully teased. "Do you want them? I could order some if you want?" "Mulder I was kidding, what has gotten into you? You need to take a shower and get some sleep ok. I'm going to go chat with your doctor." "Alright." "He's going to come in tomorrow and talk with you about your illness and the meds he's giving you. He'll decide then when you can leave." Mulder nodded and reached for Scully. She gave him a big bear hug and kissed him lightly on the temple. "See you tomorrow Mulder." Mulder nodded, his eyes still closed as he savored the feel of her lips on him. When he opened his eyes she was gone, and he sighed heavily. Karen smiled at him as she came in with a fresh change of clothes and his evening meds. "What's wrong honey?" "Nothing. Everything's perfect." "How come? Here take this." He gulped the pills down and answered. "I'm in love." "Really? With who?" "Scully." "Oh really?" "Yeah I have been for years, ever since she was kidnapped and I couldn't find her for 3 months. We'd only been partners a year but I was so attached, I wore her cross necklace till I found her." "Well that is love." "Yeah I even went to Antarctica to save her when she was taken and infected with the alien virus." "Uh huh." Karen said incredulously, " Here's your change of clothes darling, you have a good night." "I will thank you Karen." Mulder said gathering up his clothes and heading for the bathroom. " Can I see Mr. Mulder's MR a sec?" Karen asked the charge nurse. She opened the file, her eyes widening when she saw he was treated for mild Frostbite and dehydration upon returning from Antarctica. "Wow! That wasn't an exaggeration." "What the Antarctica thing? Yeah he's been in and out of the hospital so much, we thought we'd have to get him his own permanent room, him and his partner. They are the cutest though." "What do you mean? "There so connected they'll just look at each other and it's like there having conversations, finish each other's sentences. There in love with each other, but cause there, well were partners it was advised they not get involved, but now well once he gets semi-stable, I wouldn't be surprised if he starts courting her." "Courting?" "Oh yeah there past just dating. They should be married with a couple of kids by now." "Thanks for the background, I'm going to chart." Karen said going off and reporting her findings to the doctor. One week later "Okay Mr. Mulder, back by 9 p.m. okay. Here want me to tie that for you?" "No I can do it thanks Karen." Mulder said looping his tie though his collar. "You have to take your meds at 12, 4, and 8 p.m. okay?" "12,4, 8 I got it. If not, Scully will remember." "Hey G-man." Scully said smiling at him brightly "Ex-G-man." "Ah you still my handsome G-man, retired or not. Here let me tie that for you." Scully said tying his tie quickly. "Dang your hair grows fast. We'll get you a haircut while we're out. What time for his meds Karen?" "12, 5, 3" Mulder said "12, 4, 8" Karen corrected "Yeah that's it." Mulder said smiled at Scully. "There! All dressed and cute, now for that hair, brush." Mulder handed her a brush and she tamed it. "Ok, lets' go I haven't had my coffee yet. We have time to drop by Einstein's on the way." He gently grasped her hand and followed her out of the room. "Bye Karen." "9 p.m. Mr. Mulder." 8:30 p.m. "So what do you think, which one?" "I like the last one, it was perfect. Lots of land, not to far out in the country for you, and just far enough for me." Mulder said taking off his shoes and loosening his tie. "There's a nice hospital close by with a psychiatric ward too, the property is fenced in, Primestar satellite dish, perfect I'll called the realtor and put a bid on it." "Scully? I . . ." Mulder leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead. "Mulder?" "Yes?" "If you want to kiss me, just do it, you don't' have to ask." "Oh." "I'm going to bring you some more of your clothes tomorrow." "Yeah thanks, night Scully." "Bye Mulder." "I love you." "I love you too G-man. Change into your pajamas." "Oh alright." 3 days later "Alright Mr. Mulder, here's your prescription. I got it with unlimited refills. This is the therapist I want you to see, the name of the doctor at Mercy general I'm referring you to. You okay with all this? Do you understand everything? Any Questions?" "Have you told Scully all this?" "Yes I have. She has everything, including emergency numbers. She'll be here to pick you up in a few minutes, are you packed and ready?" "Yes sir." "Let me discharge you and get the paperwork ready." Mulder pulled out his wallet and dialed Strange's. "Hi I'd like to order a dozen roses for delivery to 1117 Glendale drive. This afternoon if possible. Yes a dozen half red, half white, My credit card number is . . ." Mulder rattled it off them closed his wallet putting it back in his pocket. "Yes thank you, that's right To Dana Thank you love FWM." He smiled as he hung up and waited for Scully. He caught her scent and his heart started to pound. She said she loved me too, I wonder if she'll like the flowers. "Thanks Randy, bye I will. Ready to go my adorable G-man?" "yeah." "Got everything moved into the house yesterday unpacked and stuff, You're going to like it." "What about . . ." "The dog? Not yet, you need to get settled into a routine first. Come on lets get going." Mulder and Scully's house Mulder smiled as he wandered around the house. "This one's your room Mulder, it has a nice view of the back yard." Mulder fell on his bed and took off his shoes. "Take you meds first, then you can take a nap." Mulder nodded and swallowed down the pills. "I love you Scully." "Love you too Mulder, get some rest." Scully said pulling down his window shade and closing his door. 5p.m. Scully gave him a big hug as he emerged from his bedroom. "Your welcome Mulder." "So you liked the flowers?" "Yes, it's been forever since I got some, thank you. Hope you like fettuccine Alfredo cause that's what's for diner. Some of the neighbors came by they'll come by later. I told them you were asleep." Mulder nodded and sat at the table. "I even made dessert Chocolate chunk brownies." Mulder smiled and took a bite of the pasta. 7:30 Mulder cuddled next to Scully on the couch as she perused all the available channels on the TV. "13 HBO's just what the doctor ordered." Mulder laughed, his laughter rumbling low in his chest. Scully snuggled into him some more. "It's good to have you back Mulder." He nuzzled her hair with his nose and kissed it. They locked eyes for a moment and Mulder started to lean in for a 'real' kiss when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it Mulder." Scully opened the door and smiled, "Hey come on in." "Is he awake?" "Yeah he's up come on in the living room. Mulder?" He looked at the other people and smiled. Two older couples about 50 or 60 and a young couple more along their ages came into view. He rose and said hello. "Sorry we didn't get to meet you before, but Dana said you'd been sick recently." "Yeah I'm a little better thank you. Fox Mulder." "Hugh and Vera Mitchell." "David and Laura Martin." "Tim and Beth Marigold" "My, we did move on M Street didn't we?" Mulder quipped as he sat back down on the couch. He blinked rapidly several times in a row and cracked his head to the side quickly. Scully picked up on it quickly. "Did you take your pill when you got up?" "No I forgot, let me go do that now." Mulder said walking off to his room. They chatted for a few minutes till Mulder returned. "So what do you do Fox?" "I'm retired." "Really? So young." "You had to retire cause of your illness?" Vera asked concerned. "Yeah I was an FBI agent. I investigated unexplained phenomena and profiled serial killers. Sixteen years of that finally got to me." "Yes Dana was telling us about that. So what are you going to do now?" "Enjoy retirement, I don't know yet." They chatted for an hour or so till they excused themselves. "We'll let you two go. Welcome to the neighborhood, see you around Fox." "Ok bye." Mulder said, shutting the door and exhaling heavily. That was harder than he thought it would be. "You did good Mulder." "Yeah now I'm so tired, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed." "Alright Mulder good night." 1 am Scully felt something warm snake around her waist and she froze till she smelled a familiar scent. "Mulder? What are you doing in here?" He started placing gentle kisses along her neck and she leaned into him a little. "Mulder?" He swept her hair aside and kissed her right behind the ear. "I love you Scully." He whispered into her ear as he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Scully turned towards him "Muld . . ." she was silenced by his mouth capturing hers, his tongue pushing it's way into her mouth. Mulder reveled in her unique taste and deepened the kiss. Scully began to relax and kiss him back when she remembered who she was kissing and pushed away. "What? What's wrong?" Mulder asked breathless. "Mulder . . . What were you doing?" "Kissing you, has it been that long Scully?" Scully smiled "I couldn't get back to sleep after my 12 am pill and well thought maybe . . ." "Maybe what? OH never mind." She said when her leg brushed by his throbbing erection. "Mulder look I . . ." "I love you Scully, you know that." "I love you too Mulder but . . ." "No I love you more than a friend Scully. I'm in love with you and now that it's possible, I want to pursue a relationship with you." "Mulder I don't know . . . I mean . . . gosh Mulder this is nothing you spring on a girl at 1 in the morning." "Please." Mulder said rubbing against her slightly. "Mulder, I'll think about it. There's a lot to consider, we need to take things slow, simple, till you get a routine down. I'm just not sure your ready for a relationship, an intimate one with all the stress and stuff. I don't think I'm ready, I'm still learning what you can and can't do and Mulder . . .what are you doing?" she looked at him, his eyes closed tightly, breathing ragged. She peeked under the covers and saw him slowly stroking himself, swirling his thumb around the tip expertly. He moaned a little and Scully smiled. Poor thing, so wired up from his meds. "Here let me help." She said moving his hand away and taking over. He pushed himself into her hand, thrusting into it gently. He groaned loudly, whimpering a little as he came in a rush. "What were you saying Scully, I kind of zoned out." He asked nonchalantly. "What was the last thing you remember?" "Mulder, I don't know." Scully chuckled softly. "You remember anything else?" "No, why?" "Cause while I was talking you were busy jerking off." "Huh?! Oh Jeez I'm sorry. I'll clean it up, I'm sorry." "It's okay, why don't you go back to bed okay?" Mulder nodded and kissed her quickly before leaving. 5 months later "Good morning Sunshine." "Hey Mulder." His watch went off and he popped two pills in his mouth, gulping them down with some orange juice. "I gotta go, have fun today. I'll call you later." "Bye, Scully?" he said, then grabbing her wrist quickly. "What G-man, I'm late." "I love you." She smiled and kissed him quickly on the lips then ran out the door. Mulder finished his orange juice and went to the back porch. Retirement may not be bad he thought as he looked down at the seeds and gardening equipment. A row of roses and sunflowers then I'll be done, he thought as he started digging a trail for the seeds. "Hey Fox, how's it going?" Hugh said waving to him from over the fence. "Pretty good thanks." "So what you planting now?" "Roses and Sunflowers." "Nice so um . . . what happened?" "Huh?" "I mean what contributed to your mental breakdown. Was it one case that just made you snap or an overall thing?" "One case, but I really don't feel like discussing it right now Hugh. Now if you'll excuse me, I wanted to get these planted before noon." "Oh well ok, have a good day neighbor." Mulder exhaled heavily and concentrated on planting the seeds. Retirement maybe worse than I thought. "Hey Pretty boy where are you?" Scully said laying her briefcase on the couch and looking for Mulder. Where is he? "Mulder? Mulder?" He's not in the house, I don't see him out back, dang it where is he? Scully ran outside, she felt her self start to panic. "Mulder!" She screamed as she walked on the back porch. "Mulder!" Oh god where is he?! "Thanks David, see you two this weekend." Scully turned and saw him coming out of David and Laura's house and sighed relieved. "Hey Scully, Laura made apple pie and . . ." Scully rushed him hugging him fiercely. "Whoa G-woman can't you wait till I get in the house?" "You scared me." "Why? I was right next door." "How was I supposed to know that?" "I thought I'd be back before you, sorry I worried you. Here, hot apple pie, it will go great with the baked chicken and glazed carrots I made. You know I wouldn't be a good house husband if I didn't cook for my princess or at least have hot take-out waiting for you when you get home." "You're a good house husband Mulder, but don't' call me princess." Mulder put the dishes in the dishwasher and started it. 'You're a good house husband Mulder' Gosh I love her. What I wouldn't' give for her to be mine, that she would let me be her husband. "No way you schizofreak! You're crazy! What would she want with a crazy freak like you. Dana Scully could have anyone she wanted why would she settle for you?" the voices in his head screamed. Mulder looked at his watch. 11 p.m. I'll take it early, the Thorazine isn't working like it should anymore. I'm beginning to hear the voices again, I probably need a higher dose. He wrote down on the fridge to do board 'Call Doc about increased dosage of Thorazine', then he popped 2 pills and set his watch. He went, showered and changed into his black silk boxers. Tonight I'm going to do it. I'll get Dana Scully to love me "Seduce her is the word, you loser." A voice said. Let me wait a few more minutes, hopefully the Thorazine keeps them at bay so I can sleep tonight. He heard Scully bustling about in her room and the squeak of her bed springs, it's time. Mulder got up and went to Scully's doorway. Scully heard her door open and a floorboard creak. "Mulder?" She asked when she didn't see anyone. "Who's there? Hello? Mulder?" He appeared in her doorway, muscular torso, wash board abs, well toned swimmers legs, skimpy black silk boxers. Scully gave him the eyebrow as he started towards her slowly. "Hundreds of little joys to open a door and have a man beckon you in. To have him make a fire and lay the table for you and when it's late, to feel him take you into his arms." Mulder said as he made his way over to a now standing Scully. He let his fingers lightly trace up her sides to her shoulder where he played with the strap of her nightgown. He locked eyes with her and saw the question in her eyes, and answered it with a deep kiss. He slanted his mouth over hers and inserted his tongue gently, tasting her. Scully closed her eyes and relaxed into the kiss, till she felt his fingers push one of her straps off her shoulder. She pulled away a little and saw the fierce desire in his eyes. Mulder leaned back in and kissed her more urgently and she tangled her hands in his hair, slanting her mouth and taking his succulent bottom lip into her mouth tasting its salty sweetness. She felt Mulder smile and push her other strap off her shoulder, she released him and let the gown slip off her body. Mulder looked at her naked beauty and claimed her mouth again as he gently laid her on her bed. He pulled away a little and let his fingertips travel over her, learn her, pleasure her. Mulder kissed her between her breasts then took one of her coral nipples into his mouth, suckling it gently, teasing it till it was hard and erect. His hands traced lazy circles on her inner thighs, teasing her throbbing sex as he moved to her other breast. She let out a guttural moan/whimper/growl of ecstasy as he played her sensitized skin like a harp. He released her breast from his mouth and kissed his way to her neck, where he suckled and nipped as his hands shakily removed his boxers. She opened her self to him and their eyes met. He claimed her mouth hungrily, linking his fingers with hers. He pulled away and resumed kissing and nipping at her neck as he entered her slowly. He buried himself to the hilt, stopping momentarily to wonder at how he got there. How they got to the point where they were finally connected, finally one, then he started to thrust into her gently. One of his hands tore from hers to gently trace along her body as he made love to her. She made delicious little hums as he increased the intensity and angle of his thrusts. "You liked that my little princess?" "I told you don't call me princess." Scully said gently attacking his neck, nipping it and kissing him just under his chin. He let out a loud moan when she did that and she smiled "You liked that my adorable G-man?" "Retired G-man, full-time house husband to you, my beautiful G-woman." He said between thrusts, kissing there joined hands, then claiming her lips for his own. Scully heard a soft beeping and turned toward the sound only to find she couldn't move. She was cradled against something warm and locked in by something equally as warm. She took a deep breath and smelled a familiar scent. "Mulder?" he emitted a low growl in response and the past 4 hours came flooding back to her. "I should have known you'd be into Tantaric sex" Mulder chuckled softly. "Your watch is going off." Mulder groaned and rolled out of bed and went to take his meds. He came back minutes later and climbed back behind her, cradling her in his arms again and kissing her behind her ear lovingly. "Night Scully I love you." "I know, I love you too Mulder." He gave her a light squeeze "I know." Next morning Scully rolled out of Mulder's arms reluctantly and went to take a shower. I don't believe that happened last night. Where was my head? What was I thinking? He's far from stable yet, he doesn't need the added stimuli right now, Scully thought. She felt another presence in the shower and turned to see Mulder, the spray hitting him full in the chest. He leaned down and kissed her, picking her up in his arms and lifting her onto his throbbing morning erection. He leaned her back against the wall and supported her head with one hand while his other supported her hips as he thrust into her hard and fast. They came quickly and he put her down on shaky legs. "Good Morning Sunshine!" he said cheerfully as he lathered up her washcloth and ran it over her, caressing her body. Scully laughed and kissed him soundly on the lips. "You are crazy and you know what?" "What?" "I love it!" Mulder smiled as he kissed her again. She felt him getting hard again and pulled away from him, switching the water to cold "Time for you to cool off G-man." She said closing the shower door behind her. "What's up with the turtle neck in the middle of June?" Mulder asked coming up behind her quietly in the kitchen, placing a kiss behind her ear. "Well some one was trying to be come a vampire last night, plus it's cold in the morgue." "How do you know I'm not a vampire?" Scully giggled and pushed him away a little when he started to rub against her. "What?" "I have to go to work, OH MY!" "What?" Mulder asked worried. "Your collar doesn't cover them." Mulder looked confused, then smiled "Well why would I want to do that? Cover my badge of honor?" he pulled her back to him, kissing her gently on the lips "Something I've wanted for so long. Do you know how long I've wanted to make love to you Dana? Feel you under me, be inside you, and give you pleasures you never dreamed of? Do you know how long?" Scully blushed and pushed away from him, "What, what's wrong?" "Mulder . . . gee I . . ." "Why are you embarrassed?" "Well no ones been this open with their affection . . . I didn't know you . . . how long Mulder?" "Years, since you were taken and returned that first time." "All you had to do was ask Mulder. I've been yours for years, since our first case, since I walked into your office." Mulder smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Now I need to go, have a good day." "I will now." Scully blushed again and rushed out the door. Mulder sighed and sat at the table, sipping his coffee. "Man I feel good." He said to himself, like a weight's been lifted off me he thought as he looked at his to-do list on the fridge. Call Doc about, oh yeah let me do that now. "Agent Scully? Your husbands on the phone." "My who?" Scully said looking up from her paperwork at the receptionist. "Your husbands on the phone." "I'm not . . . oh that . . . which line?" "Three." Scully picked up the line "Mulder! You sick bastard!" Mulder snickered. "Hey hon." "What do you want besides stoking the gossip fires?" "Could you pick up my new prescription of Thorazine from the pharmacy." "You ran out?" "No the doc upped the dosage the . . .the voices are back." "Okay I'll pick it up on the way home ok?" "That's fine I love you princess." "Back at you G-man and don't call me princess." "Oh come on sugar . . ." "I'm hanging up Mulder, bye." Scully smiled as she hung up. "How is he?" the receptionist asked softly "Mulder? He' s better, he hasn't had any psychotic breaks again so that's good." Scully walked out of the pharmacy when her cellphone rang "Scully." "Dana hi this is Hugh Mitchell I live next door." "Yeah hey what's up?" "Well it's Fox. He's been walking up and down the street for the past few minutes screaming and howling something god awful. I don't' know if he's hurt or if it's his illness, but his arms are all bloody and he won't let anyone get near him." "Ok don't try to approach him but make sure he doesn't hurt himself. I'll be there in less than ten minutes. Thanks Hugh." God I should have known it would happen soon She thought as she got in the car and sped off. She pulled onto the street and saw her neighbors in a loose semi circle moving slowly around Mulder. Scully stopped the car and got out as Mulder gripped his hair and let out a heart wrenching scream and collapsed on the ground. "Is he okay, did he hit his head?" Vera asked "He seems ok Vera." Hugh answered. "Mulder? Mulder? It's me Scully. It's okay I' m here." Scully said hovering over him He unclenched his eyes and turned to focus on her. She surveyed the damage. Cuts on his arms, not too deep, no stitches needed. "Scully?" "Hey, you okay come on take my hand, you're in the middle of the street babe." "She's going to kill me if I go back in there." "Who told you that?" He pointed to his head. "Ok, come on I got my gun, you'll be safe with me okay? Come on now your too heavy for me to pick up." Scully said reaching her hand out for him. He shakily grabbed it and stood up. His eyes were darting back and forth in his head and his head twitched slightly "Come on, in the car." Once he was in the car, she turned to her neighbors. "Thanks you guys sorry about that." "It's okay glad we could help. Hope he feels better." Scully eased Mulder out of the car, grabbing his meds and led him into the house. She looked though the house and declared it all clear. "Come on Mulder lets get you cleaned up." She ran him a hot bath and let him soak in it for a few minutes. She washed the blood off his arms, neck and face till the water turned red then helped him out and dried him off, bandaging his arms. She eased him into his bed and pulled the covers around him and opened his new bottle of Thorazine and gave them to him. He gulped them down and exhaled heavily. "There you get some rest. I'll order Chinese and we can veg out in front of the TV when you wake up ok?" Mulder nodded, a tear slipped out of his eye. "Ah Baby don't cry." He crumpled and started to sob harder. "I was doing so well, I felt normal again then it happened. I'm so sorry Scully I'm sorry I disappointed you." "You could never disappoint me Mulder, it was just a lapse cause of your meds weren't right, it's ok. Now get some rest and calm down." Scully said kissing his forehead and closing his door quietly. 3 days later Mulder came quietly behind Scully and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on her neck gently. "Hey Sunshine." "Mulder, your finally awake." She turned and kissed him full on the mouth. Vera walked onto their back porch with a bowl of fried apples. She had wanted to come by earlier but Hugh said they probably needed time to stabilize. She smiled as she watched them exchange a passionate kiss. Well I guess things are back to normal, they are such a cute couple, I wonder how long they've been married. Scully turned around and took the omelet off the eye when she felt Mulder's hands sneak up her gown. "Mulder? What are you . . ." She was stopped by 9 inches of Mulder entering her from behind. Vera's mouth dropped open as she watched Mulder drop his pajama bottoms and enter his wife from behind. Definitely newly weds, she thought as she continued watching mesmerized. Mulder thrust into her slowly at first then, building to a fever pitch. He balanced himself against the cabinets and thrust into her harder, lifting Sully off the ground with each thrust. Mulder grunted loudly with effort and Scully moaned loudly as her climax started. Vera scurried away from the back porch and made her way around to the front door. That's what you get going around the back way, got an eyeful didn't you. Mulder showered her with kisses as he pulled out of her. "Gosh your messy." Scully said as she turned towards him. "Sorry." Mulder said staring at the puddle of semen on the kitchen floor. "It's okay, nothing a bounty paper towel can't get up." She said ripping a paper towel off the roll and gently wiping him off. Mulder smiled at Scully and moved in for a kiss when the door bell rang. "I'll clean up, you get the door Mulder." Mulder pulled up his pajamas and tied them as he opened the door. "Vera hey, how are you?" "I'm fine, how do you feel? Better?" "Yes, much thank you." I'll bet you are, Vera thought as she observed the signs of post coital satisfaction on Mulder's face. " I made some extra fried apples, I thought you and Dana would like them." "Yes thank you, come on it, we were just having breakfast." Oh so that's what you called that, Vera thought as she responded "Well just for a minute." 11 p.m. Mulder traced little circles along Scully's naked side and sighed longingly. "Mulder?" "Yeah baby?" "I don't think we should do that again." "Ok I admit I was a little rough . . ." "No we shouldn't make love period." "What?!" "I think the extra stimuli affects your condition and . . ." "NO, I refuse to stop this Scully." He said pulling her closer to him. "I won't end the best thing that's ever happened in my life. Look I'll ask my doctor okay? Scully? Dana? Please." Scully turned and looked into his eyes. They darted back and forth unconsciously. His doctor said they'd do that, it was a side effect of his medicine. He's Schizo, Scully thought, you saw him just a few days ago during a psychotic break. What if it happened again? Will the neighbors always be this understanding? What about my family? Mom knew, but Bill and Charlie? She looked back into his eyes, a tear coming out of one and falling down his distinguished profile. Ah who cares what they think! It's my life, I can live it with who ever I choose. "Okay Mulder, ok." He exhaled heavily and kissed her rubbing against her slightly. "But you've really got to work on your overactive libido." "I'll let you work on that ok?" Scully laughed and kissed him again as Mulder rolled her gently onto her back Doctor's office "Okay any abnormal things happening besides the eyes Mulder?" "I get really tired in the middle of the day, like I can't make it through the day with out a nap." "That's one of the side effects of the Thorazine, just make sure you take a nap when you're tired." "Um, can I ask you something?" "Sure, what's up?" "If I . . . I'm . . . Ok I'm in a serious relationship with someone at the moment and I was wondering if sex would affect my dosage any. I haven't read anything that says that it will." "No it shouldn't, though it may decrease your sexual drive some." "Yeah right, whatever." The doctor laughed "Now can I ask you something Mulder?" "Sure." "Who is she? The red head who brings you in most of the time, Dr. Scully?" "Yeah." "Nice woman, I think it would be best though if your not already, you shouldn't get married right now or basically anytime soon." "Why not?" "Well right now till your completely stabilized, any added stress is going to make you susceptible to a psychotic break. Your feeling good, yes and you are better, but your not stable yet." "Okay." Mulder said with a disappointed tone. "Look, I understand, it's just I want you as mentally healthy as possible before we add anymore things to your plate." "Yeah I know, Thanks Doc, oh one more thing. Can you call over to CVS, they seem to be having a problem refilling my Thorazine." "Sure I'll get on that right now, have a nice day." "Mulder?, Mulder?" Where is he Scully thought as She came into the house. "Mulder?" She said softly going into his bedroom. He was sprawled across the bed snoring softly. Another side affect of the Thorazine, he gets really tired. "Hey wake up Mulder, I got you a present." Mulder opened his eyes and focused on Scully. "Hey" he said, his voice raspy from sleep. "Hey come on get up." Mulder got up slowly and went to the bathroom. Scully waited for him in the kitchen. "Scully?" "In here, come in the back." "What, what's the surprise?" She pointed out in the yard and Mulder smiled "A husky?" "Yep! 1 and 1/2 years old, trained and everything, could you believe I found her at the pound." Mulder stepped outside and the dog ran to him, eyeing him strangely at first then wagging her tail. "So what's her name?" Scully asked "Um, Hmmm, how about Scully jr.?" "Don't even think about it." "I know! Princess." "Good choice. Let me get her stuff out of the car." 9 p.m. Mulder nuzzled Scully's neck gently with his nose and kissed her as they rock back and forth on there porch swing. "I talked with the doctor today." "Really what he say?" "He said it was alright, but not to even think about getting married soon." "Well yeah, all the stress would do you nothing but harm." "Oh and he said the Thorazine should decrease my sex drive not increase it." "Oh really?" "That's what I said." Mulder said kissing her hungrily on the mouth and pulling her closer to him "Mulder lets take this inside." "Why?" "Don't start." Mulder followed her inside and pinned her against the kitchen counter. "Mulder!" "I can't make it to the bedroom." "Yes, you can." Scully said pushing him off her and running to the bedroom. Mulder followed quickly catching up with her and pinning her against the hallway wall. "Mulder! You are determined to do this standing up, aren't you?" "I almost came running after you. God I love you." He said capturing her mouth with his and frantically undoing his pants. Scully pushed down her pants and wrapped her legs around his waist as he entered her quickly. He grunted loudly as he buried himself in to the hilt with one thrust. He thrust into her hard and fast, almost finding release when the phone rang. "Ignore it." Scully said till the answering machine picked up and She heard her mom's voice. "Dana? Hey it's mom I had some good news I wanted to tell you." "Put me down Mulder." Mulder put her down and pulled out of her with a groan. She kissed him quickly "Meet me in the bedroom, it won't take long." She ran to pick up the phone "Mom?" "Dana, hey, why are you out of breath?" Mulder and me were in the middle of some wild sex, she thought as she said. "We were outside and I heard the phone." "Oh well Charlie and his crew are in town and I thought since you have a house now they could stay with me for a while then we all come down and give you a nice housewarming present." "Well that's great mom . . . oomph!" Scully groaned when she felt 9 inches of Mulder take her from behind. "Mom hold on. Mulder!" Mulder had his eyes closed, his head thrown back, thrusting into her wildly. "Mom hey sorry, yeah that would be fine. I'll make sure . . mmmmmm . . . Mulder makes something . . . oh . . . nice. You know mom that man can cook!" Her mom laughed "Mom hold on. Mulder will you stop it." Mulder groaned loudly and Scully slapped her hand over the receiver. "Mulder stop go!" Mulder thrust into her hard a few more times and came hard and loud, slumping a little kissing her shoulder gently. "Sorry mom he's wild tonight." "His meds are . . ." "NO this is just hyperactive Mulder mom." "I love you Scully." He whispered in her shoulder, kissing her again, rubbing against her leg. "Ok let me go mom, yeah, talk with you then mom bye." She turned quickly to face Mulder, only to be pushed down on the couch and taken for another round of love making. 3 days later 11a.m. Mulder looked over his freshly cut grass and smiled at a job well done. "Perfect." He said to himself. "Ok Princess, we got time for a round of Frisbee before lunch." He said to the husky just as a dark blue Explorer pulled up in the driveway. "So that's Mulder? Nice looking guy." "Remember he's still fragile from his illness ok?" "I know mom. This isn't Bill your talking too, I understand." Mulder looked at the car strangely till he saw Mrs. Scully pop out of the passenger seat. "Fox, hey sweetheart, how you feel?" "Better thank you. So this is Charlie and crew?" "Yes, Charlie this is Fox Mulder, Dana's partner at the FBI." "Former partner, now I just cook and clean for her." "That sounds like her, nice to meet you. This is my wife Julia, and our two boys Mark and Aaron." " Hi nice to meet you, um I was going to . . . are you hungry?" I was going to make some lunch." "No we already ate thanks though." "Well come on in, let me get you guys settled in." then turning to Princess, " Come on Princess." "Oh so that's the surprise she got you." Mrs. Scully said following Mulder quickly "Yeah something to keep me company and occupied, your rooms are along this side Charlie and your on that side Mrs. Scully. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." "He seems like a nice guy, why doesn't Bill like him?" Charlie asked. "You know your brother Bill, he doesn't need a reason." Mulder threw the Frisbee hard for Princess and she sprinted after it. "Hey Fox." "Hi Charlie, please call me Mulder, will ya?" "No problem. I was going to ask you what you do, but . . ." "I'm a house . . . husband." Mulder said instantly regretting it. "Really?" Charlie asked amused "Well I guess a stay at home dad now. Go for a long one Princess." He said as he threw the Frisbee again. Charlie laughed and they chatted awhile till Mulder went back inside to start dinner. Scully's mom came out and touched Charlie's arm gently. "So what do you think?" "He's a great guy. I see why Dana likes him, but his eyes like dart back and forth in his head, it's kinda freaky." "That's part of his condition." "Really, he said he had a breakdown, he didn't go into details." "Yeah well Dana knows the extent but he's gotten a lot better since I last saw him. Put on some weight too, that's even better." Charlie smiled "You are everyones mom aren't you?" "Always." Mulder pulled out the stuffed chicken he had seasoned the night before and put it in the oven along with the glazed carrots and collard greens. "There." He said as he set the timer on the microwave. The phone rang "Mulder." "Hey sweetheart, how's it going?" "Great, your families here." "Yeah mom has already called me I just want to check on you. CVS called and said they were out of your Thorazine, it maybe 2 or 3 days before they can refill it." "That's fine I have enough till the end of the week." "Ok I'll be home in 10 and remember behave. Last thing I need is mom making more solid plans on our wedding." Mulder laughed. "Ok Scully bye." "Dana?" Charlie asked as Mulder hung up the phone. "Yeah she'll be home in 10 minutes, excuse me." Mulder said heading back to his room and closed the door. 2 weeks or more without making love to Scully, talk about torture, Mulder thought as he took his pills and laid across his bed on his stomach. Scully came through the door "Hey mom and Charlie!" She said hugging them tightly "How are you? Everybody settled in and stuff?" "Yeah, Mulder gave us the tour. I don't know if the gift we bought is going to be good enough this place is beautiful." "Thank you, where is Mulder, out side?" "Ah, no he went back to his room a few minutes ago he hasn't come back out yet." "He hasn't? Let me check on him real quick and put my stuff down." Scully said heading down to her bedroom then to Mulder's. I'll never get to sleep tonight, she thought, I've gotten so used to him in my bed. She opened the door and saw Mulder asleep on his bed. "Hey." She said softly, running her fingers lightly along his back. "Hmm? Hey honey what time is it?" "4:30." "Oh ok the foods got 30 more minutes" "Ok I'll keep an eye on it, you rest ok?" "Alright." Mulder said closing his eyes again and exhaling heavily. Scully tucked an errant strand of her fiery hair behind her ear and kissed him tenderly on the nape of his neck. Her mother smiled secretly when she saw that. Finally, I knew them living in the same house would finally defrost her a little. "You were right he can cook!" Mrs. Scully said as She finished her carrots. "You haven't seen anything yet. I've been working on perfecting this cake for weeks. I think I've got it too. 1001 chocolate chip, triple fudge cake." Mulder said as he laid the chocolatey wonder on the table. "Charlie can we take him home with us?" Julia asked as She took a bite of cake. "Nope Dana would shoot me if I tried to do that." "Well at least I know how Fox put on some extra weight, surprised he hasn't put any on Dana though." "I know when to say when on Mulder's cooking. I think he's made it his personal mission to put 20 pounds on me in 6 months. I can't let him win." They laughed and chatted for a while then Julia noticed a flash of metal on Mulder's finger. "What's that? Oh this is pretty. Is that platinum and gold?" "Yeah it was my father's." Mulder said, Scully mentally breathed a sigh of relief. Please don't tell them it's your father's wedding ring, or that it's our commitment ring and that I have on exactly like it on my opposite ring finger, she thought. "More cake?" Mulder asked cheerfully, switching subjects. "So Dana what exactly is wrong with Mulder?" Charlie asked as he joined Scully out on the back porch with their mom. "He has schizophrenia." "You're kidding?" "No it shocked me too, cause he's never really exhibited symptoms like I thought. But the more I think about it, the more I realize he did, but it seemed like his normal behavior. I called it Mulder in profiling mode." "So he's on medication?" "Yeah." "So if he's controlled why was he . . ." "Oh cause he didn't know he had it. One day he snapped, walked out of his apartment, barefoot and half dressed, and started shooting people." "Oh!" "But now when ever he has a psychotic break it seems like he tries to hurt himself. He only has one where there are lapses in his meds, which isn't much. Though if CVS doesn't fill his prescription soon he may have one over the weekend." "So the kids are safe around him?" "Oh yeah everyone's safe except Mulder. He'll start showing mild symptoms till some outside stress sets him off and he'll break. So I try to keep things as lax as possible around here." 11 p.m. Mulder turned over in bed and sighed. I can't sleep without her. He got up and went to her room and climbed in next to her. "Mulder? I thought we agreed . . ." "Yeah I know but I can't sleep." "I know fine, just sleep okay?" Mulder nodded and pulled her to his chest and snuggled in for the night. 8 am Charlie and Mrs. Scully peeked in on Mulder to find him missing. "Where is he?" "I don't know maybe Dana knows." Mrs. Scully said peeking into Dana's room smiling softly when she saw them "Found him." Scully was buried into his chest, her arms around him loosely. Mulder's face was nuzzled in her hair, his fingers making lazy circle on her back and side. "Hey she's got the same ring on" "Huh?" "His ring, She's got one her right hand." Her mom looked at the ring and the scene before her. Could they have . . . Scully moaned softly and shifted against Mulder "Good morning sunshine." He said softly, brushing strands of fire out of her face, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Hey what time is it?" "10 after 8." "Um, OH! I gotta go." She said tearing away from him quickly and starting to stand when Mulder grabbed her around the waist and sat her back on the bed. "Mulder! I can't be late today." Mulder nuzzled into her side, his hands making circles on her waist and moving down to her thighs. "Mulder don't start something you don't have time to finish." "Who says I don't have time?" Mulder said kissing her side through her gown. "I do, back down G-man or the next time you can't sleep, you and Princess will be camped out in the living room couch." "Drat!" he said releasing her, smiling "that's better, you need to be up cooking anyway. You have 5 hungry mouths to feed besides you and Princess." "Man you wake up bossy. I'm up, I'm up." Mulder said getting up slowly. Mrs. Scully and Charlie moved away quickly to the kitchen "Did that look more than friendly to you or are they always like that?" "Well I don't know. I guess it was them in a playful mood." Mrs. Scully said with a knowing smile on her face. Mulder came out and started mixing pancake batter, slapping batter and bacon on the griddle. Scully rushed through and grabbed her briefcase. Mulder handed her, her coffee cup "Later princess." "Ok have a good day Mulder and don't call me princess" then to Charlie and crew "Bye you guys see you around 5." Scully said running out the door. "Dang! Her lunch." Mulder cursed under his breath as he grabbed it out of the fridge and ran out the door after her. She pulled out of the driveway and was getting ready to speed off when she saw Mulder fly in front of the car "You forgot your lunch!" She rolled down her window and reached for it "Thanks babe, bye." She said as She pulled him into a deep kiss on the lips "I love you." Mulder mouthed to her as She waved and drove off. "Definitely more than friends" Charlie thought as he watched Mulder come back towards the house, a lovesick grin on his face. Mulder laid in his hammock and watched Julia and the boys playing with Princess in the back. "Hey Mulder." "Hey Charlie." "Can I ask you a personal question?" "Sure." "Do you love her?" "Who?" "Dana." Mulder paused a second, then nodded yes. "I thought so. Have you two . . . are you two involved?" " Yeah but don't tell Mrs. Scully or she'll start picking out china patterns." Charlie laughed " My doctor said it wouldn't be wise to get married yet the stress and all and me not being stable yet." "Yeah well you have my blessing man. Any guy who can cook, clean everyday for my sister and run out in front of moving cars to give her lunch is worth liking." 3 days later "What do you mean you don't have it yet? I called in the refill at the beginning of last week! He can't have a break in his medicine like this! No, his doctor does not have the dosage he needs. Look If you can't fill it I know Walgreen's can, just never mind." Scully slammed the phone down on the receiver. "Mulder?" He rocked back and forth on the couch, his head buried in his hands. "Mulder? You okay my adorable G-man?" "No, they won't shut up. It hurts when they start yelling at me. Make them stop." "I'm trying sweetheart." Scully said picking up the phone and dialing Walgreen's. She explained the problem She was having with CVS and gave them the insurance info. "Tomorrow is that the earliest? Okay thank you very much good bye." "OW! Shut up!" Mulder screamed "Mulder it's me Scully. It's okay, lets go play Frisbee with princess or how about you show me around your garden okay?" He nodded and got up quickly walking outside. Scully sighed 23 more hours till he gets a refill, after two long day without it. The ticks and the talking to himself came back first, now the voices, just hang on a few more hours Mulder. Scully went outside to find him chatting with a sunflower in his garden. Scully smiled and touched his arm lightly and he smiled down at her, introducing her to the flower. 9 p.m. Scully petted his hair gently as he slept on the couch peacefully. Finally She thought. "How is he?" Charlie asked softly "Okay right now, they'll have it ready tomorrow at 10 am. So by 11 am, I'll have him doped up and by the afternoon, he'll be back to semi stable Mulder. Hand me that blanket will you?" Charlie handed her the blanket and helped her cover him up. "Thanks Charlie, you've been a big help." "Anything for my favorite sis and her favorite guy." "What do you mean Favorite guy?" "Oh don't play coy with me. The matching rings, commitment rings. The kiss outside the other morning, the way you act around each other, plus I got it out of him a few days ago." "Well don't . . ." "Tell mom? He told me that too. I won't, though I think She knows already." Scully smiled and kissed Mulder gently on the temple "I love you Mulder." She whispered in his ear and went to bed. Mulder smiled in his sleep and exhaled heavily, shifting a little. Charlie smiled and touched his arm lightly "Night Mulder hope you feel better, we miss you." 1am "Charlie where are you going?" Julia asked groggily "To check on Mulder." "Sweetie he's fine Dana's got him under control." "I know but I'm still worried. It will only take a second." Charlie said as he headed to the living room. "He's gone!" "What?" Julia said coming towards him. "He's gone, where could he . . ." The toilet flushed and they heard water running then Mulder appeared from the bathroom, he paused for a second, then headed towards his bedroom and stopped "what's he doing?" "I don't know." Charlie said as they shadowed him loosely. He looked over to Scully's room, smiling he went in. "Oh my he's going into Dana's room is that safe?" "Yeah." Charlie said knowingly, peeking in slightly. Mulder climbed into bed and brushed away strands of stray hair from her face. He lightly traced her jaw line with just the tips of his fingers, tracing down to her neck where he placed a gentle kiss. "Mulder? What's wrong? Can't sleep?" "Yeah." He showered her neck with more kisses, his hands exploring her creamy expanses. "Mulder? I thought we agreed . . ." "Charlie knows, your mom knows." "Yeah but . . ." Mulder kissed her gently on the lips then pulled away only to kiss her again hungrily. Scully's hands played along his arms and back as he kissed his down to her collarbone and started to slip her gown off her. When he flung her gown aside and it floated gracefully to the floor, Charlie made a hasty exit. "Yeah he's fine, Julia." Julia sat mesmerized, they're involved? She watched as Mulder climbed over top of Scully, kissing and licking his way down and back up, the satisfied moans of Scully denoting he was doing a good job. Scully kissed him right under his chin and he let loose a loud groan. "Sssh!" "Sorry you know what you do to me when you kiss me there. I love you so much Dana." He said attacking her lips again as he entered her cautiously. "I love you too but lets try and keep the noise level to a minimum." Mulder nodded as he started to thrust into her. Julia closed the door giving them a little privacy. Next morning Mulder placed a pile of steamy pancakes and waffles on the table and put more bacon in the pan. Scully swooped in and grabbed her coffee and ran out the door. Mulder looked back at the table. "Dang it!" He said grabbing her lunch and heading after her. She was waiting for him just outside the door. "How you feel?" She asked concerned. "Great!, I always feel this way after we make love." Scully turned crimson. "What? What I say?" "You're so . . . nothing. You have a good day I'll be back here by 10:30 or 11 to give you your meds ok?" "Yeah I love you Scully." He said pulling her to him. She kissed him under his chin, making him groan loudly. "Did any of your other girlfriends know about your chin G-spot?" "Only you." he said kissing her deeply on the lips, his tongue exploring her mouth quickly then he pulled away and handed her, her lunch. "Have a good day. Mulder said waving at her and heading back in the house. 10 am Scully drove through the drive thru pharmacy, picking up Mulder's Thorazine. Please don't let me be too late, She thought as She sped off. Same time at the house. Charlie kept a loose eye on Mulder most of the morning. He went in back to play with Princess and Charlie relaxed, he'll be okay he thought till he heard a heart wrenching scream come from outside. He ran to the porch to see Mulder collapsed on the ground curled up in a ball holding his head. "Mulder? You alright?" He looked at Charlie, fear in his eyes and he scurried to his feet and took off running. "Mulder! Mulder! Oh boy." Charlie said as he ran after him.. "Charlie what's wrong?" "Mulder's breaking call Dana." He shouted back trying to catch up to Mulder. Dang he's fast, Charlie said as he put more speed on closing the gap a little. Mulder stopped suddenly and turned towards Charlie. Charlie slowed down only to have Mulder charge him, knocking him to the ground. "That's not true! No! Shut up! I'm not listening you're a liar!" He screamed at Charlie as he started to walk back towards the house. Scully drove up in the driveway and Julia pointed her in the right direction. "Mulder?" "Leave me alone Charlie." "Mulder look Dana . . ." Charlie stared, touching his shoulder lightly only to have Mulder whirl around and punch him hard. He reached down and picked him up, bringing his inches from his face. Charlie watched his frantically darting eyes, dread welling up inside him as Mulder pulled back his fist. "Mulder stop!" Scully said touching his arm gently, he dropped Charlie and pulled his hand back to backhand Scully , when he stopped. "Scully?" "Yeah it's me Mulder, come with me, come home okay?" Mulder nodded, and kissed her on the forehead gently. "Help Charlie up and say your sorry first okay?" He nodded again and picked Charlie up off the ground and apologized softly. "That's okay Mulder." Mulder reached from Scully's hand and squeezed it gently. His head twitched back and forth, and he started murmuring to himself softly. "Can I interrupt?" "Always." "I got your meds, We'll be going to Walgreen's from now on, they even gave me some so I could give you an injection right now, so you can get a big dose in your system." Mulder nodded and brought there joined hands to his lips, kissing hers gently. 6 months later "Agent Scully you have a call." "Who's it from?" the receptionist turned back to the phone. "Who?" the receptionist giggled, "Hold on, Your adorable G-man who loves you more than life itself." "Tell Mulder to hold a sec, I'm in the middle of an autopsy." "He says it's important." Scully sighed and reached for the phone. "What?" "I love you." "Is that what was so important?" "No I'm in the hospital." "Why? What happened?" "I cut myself." "Why?" "The bugs were under my skin. They were eating me from the inside out. I had to cut them out or I would have died!" "Did you take your meds today?" "Yes." "Ok well I'll be there in 30 minutes, where are you?" "Hold on, where? Mercy General." "Usual, okay is Dr. Harris there?" "Yes." "Okay I'll be down soon." Scully hung up and started writing on the man's chart. "Kyle, seal him up, I gotta go." "Is everything ok with Agent Mulder?" the receptionist asked as Scully rushed out. "No he had a little incident. I have my pager on." Sully said hurrying out of the door. "What happened?" "He's having a reaction to his Thorazine. I believe there was an impurity in his last batch. He's having wild delusions, burst of anger, and violent impulses towards himself." "So what are our options?" "Once all the Thorazine is out of his system, we can start him on a higher dose of Thorazine, that should definitely do the trick." Scully watched Mulder fighting his restraints, talking to himself, his head twitching. "I hope it does." Therapist office "Agent Mulder long time no see, have you been avoiding me?" "Of course Dan." Mulder said cockily. Scully rolled her eyes "Mulder I'll be back in an hour, play nice." "Of course Scully." He said with his most innocent look. "You heard me G-man." Scully said waving as she left. Dan watched as Mulder watched her leave with obvious admiration. "Nice." "What Mulder?" "Nice, I like that skirt on her." "Oh! Well where were we oh, yes what cases were you working on before your break down?" "Hmm, serial cow mutilations, a mutated human Leech and oh my usual, finding my sister." "Don't get sarcastic. I'm trying to find out what started your downward spiral. Cause until that point, you were stable, though a little different, you were able to function with out medication. Now, if you miss one dose of your meds, you go off." "Fine, just don't tell Scully ok." "Don't tell Scully what?" "What I'm about to tell you cause, I don't know how she's going to take it. You know, cause I just don't know ok?" Mulder said running his hands through his hair quickly, "Cause if she didn't take it good, I don't know what I'd do cause it's true you know, but hard to believe I almost didn't believe it, and Scully showed me the x-rays and stuff didn't make the connection though." Mulder said so fast his words slurred into each other. Oh my he's breaking a little, he must really be getting ready to tell me what happened, Dan thought readying his tape recorder. "I promise I won't tell Scully. Spill, what is it?" "I slept with my sister, but I didn't know it was her cause she looked like a totally different person." "Huh?" " I know, you see I had a girlfriend in Oxford and well she was nothing like Sam, I thought. I just found out she is Sam you know and had been Sam when you know we were together so that meant that I'd slept with my sister and I didn't know it understand?" "Yeah." Dan lied, what is he taking about, he's really breaking. "Okay Mulder um is that it or was there more . . ." "No that's all that's all." Mulder said then laughing sharply then suddenly stopping. "Well Um why don't you relax till Scully comes back huh?" "ok thanks Dan, I think I will. I'm kinda tired my Thorazine makes me tired, my doctor . . ." Mulder continued to babble on as Dan paged Scully quickly. "What happened?" "I don't know, he was telling me some farce about his sister being his old girlfriend in college, he started ticking, talking extremely fast, not making any sense." So that's what set him off, the truth about Samantha, Scully thought as she said "Ok, thank you Dan, you think he's stable enough to go home?" "Yeah, just um don't stop anywhere and keep an eye on him tonight." 3 weeks later "Scully, Princess and me are going for a run." "Ok Mulder be careful, love you." "OK come on Princess." Mulder stretched a little as he made his way to the street, he waved at Laura and started his jog, and a large white van followed him at a distance. Mulder put on his head phones and pressed play on his CD player. "Come on Princess, let's go off road." Mulder said increasing his speed as he veered off into the woods. "He's veering off into the woods, instructions?" "Wait, he does a loop then comes back on to the road." The men in the van waited till they saw Mulder pop back out of the woods, running towards his house. "He's headed back towards the house pick him up now." The van sped up, passing Mulder then stopping abruptly in front of him. Mulder tried to slow down but slammed into the back of the van. The back doors opened and the men grabbed and threw him in the back. Princess roared and bit down hard on one of the kidnappers arms. "Ah! Stupid Dog! Chew on this!" He said pulling out a gun and firing at Princess. The dog yelped in pain and let go. "No!" Mulder screamed before he felt something smash into the back of his head, sending him into darkness. The van sped off, in spite of her injury, Princess ran after it as fast as she could till she couldn't go any further and collapsed on the street. Scully looked at the clock and started to worry. Where are those two? He should have been back by now. Scully walked outside hoping to see him chatting with a neighbor or running up the street with some weak excuse. Instead she saw a frantically crawling Princess, and a trail of blood behind her. "Princess!" Scully screamed and ran to the dog. The dog howled in pain and anguish as Scully checked her over. Chest wound with a high caliber weapon, where is Mulder? Princess was almost more protective over Mulder than I am, there was no way she would leave his side willingly. Scully scooped the dog up in her arms and ran back to the house. She wrapped Princess in a blanket and placed her in the back seat of her car. She looked around frantically for Mulder as she sped out of the development. Where are you Mulder? Are you hurt? Dying? Dead? She saw where the blood trail started and saw his CD Player on the ground along side a blood stain. She called Skinner quickly and filled him in on the situation on the way to the vet. Veterinarian Hospital Help! My dog's been shot! She lost a lot of blood! Help!" A young vet and two assistants rushed out and grabbed princess from her and rushed her back into the OR. Her cellphone rang "Scully." "This is Skinner. A late model White Chevy Van that's all we could decipher. 22 caliber bullets. None of the blood at the scene seems to be Mulder's. That's all, we have no leads besides that till you get a ransom note or call." "Thank you sir." "How's Princess?" "Good, they are finishing with her now." "Mulder would have been upset if something had happened to her." "Yeah he would have. We have to find him soon, he doesn't have any of his meds on him. He's liable to break in a few hours." Scully said, her voice shaking with emotion. "Don't worry we'll find him. Try and stay calm. I'll call you when we have more." Scully hung up and tried to think, who would want to kidnap Mulder? Why? Mulder is no longer with the X-files, he's not a threat. Why would anyone want to hurt him? Undisclosed location "Fox, Fox wake up Fox." Mulder opened his eyes slowly his head pounded and he winced from the pain. His head twitched slightly, uh oh Thorazine, I'm going to need some soon. "My Thorazine." "Your what?" "Thorazine, I need it." "No you won't my precious Fox. Look at me. Fox?" He looked into her green eyes and cringed. NO oh god no! anything but this. "What you don't want to look at me? You've been looking for me half your life. Now you don't want to see what you've been looking for?" "Stop it Phoebe!" "You know I always hated having to use that name. Phoebe Green, I mean couldn't they think of anything original? Though Samantha Ann wasn't that great either, but at least it was better than Phoebe." "You are not my sister! I refuse to believe that!" "But you do believe. You've seen the proof, your pretty partner gave it to you neatly wrapped and delivered. The healed collarbone, the birthmark on my stomach, dental records are all the same. The can change the face and age but they can't change who you are." Mulder screamed from rage and anguish as he thrashed against his restraints. "Ah poor crazy Fox. Did knowing the truth drive you over the edge? They needed you to play along and they knew as long as you believed your sister was out there you would play. We didn't know you were nuts already or we wouldn't have pushed you this far. Bet you wonder why we have you restrained in this chair huh?" Mulder looked at her, his eyes darting more wildly than usual. "Now that your usefulness has ended you're a liability, you know too much about the project and our plans. My orders are to kill you Bro, but I decided I wanted to have more fun with you first. You know just like we used to, only no sex and definitely handcuffs. You always had a proclivity for being restrained." "Why?" "Why what?" "Why Sam? Why are you doing this? Why did you . . . what kind of a . . . Dang it, I'm your brother! How could you have . . ." "Were my brother. I gave that all up for the project. You're in the way dear brother. You could ruin our plans. You must be removed." "How can I ruin your plans? I'm on permanent disability leave. I'm not investigating X-files anymore, I have no desire to. I spend most of my time now cooking, and cleaning and other community things. Dang it Sam I'm a housewife! I can hardly make it through the day with out a nap, and if I miss one dose of my Thorazine . ." "Schizophrenia is supposed to be genetic, you know. I wonder why I don't have it? Oh well you won't have it much longer. I prepared a little film for you, well a long film for you. Hope you like it. It has all my favorite villains in it past and present. Now pay close attention to the story of the real count Dracula, Dracula the impaler, I recreated it in nice vivid Technicolor. You know he impaled them from the rectum all the way up through the mouth while they were still alive?" "Sam! NO don't do this please! For the love of God please! "My you have changed, you believe in god now? Goodbye my sweet Fox. I'll miss messing with your mind. And it was such a beautiful mind to mess with." Sam/Phoebe said as she kissed him sweetly on the lips and locked the door behind her. The room filled with hard core rock music as horrific images flooded the room. Mulder tried to shut his eyes but a bolt of electricity rolled though him every time he did. "No, Fox. Keep those pretty hazel eyes open. That's no way to thank me for all my hard work. "Fuck You!" "My such foul language from such a pretty mouth." Sam/Phoebe said starting to laugh as Mulder's screams grew more frantic and piercing. 36 hours later " No word nothing? Ok thank you." Scully said hanging up the phone only to pick it back up when her mom called. "No nothing, no contact nothing, they just took him and disappeared. What are they doing to you Mulder?" Same time undisclosed location Mulder muttered incoherently to himself, every now and then screaming Shut up and thrashing in the chair. He hardly blinked, he couldn't sleep or he'd be shocked. Sam/Phoebe came back in and looked at him. His eyes were darting back and forth so fast they looked like blurs. "Interesting, Fox? Fox?" No response. "Oh he's gone, give me a gun so I can put him out of his misery. Crazy Fuck." "Scully" Mulder whispered almost inaudibly. "Scully? She can't save you now, no one can. But if you like I could kill her too." Mulder locked eyes with Sam/Phoebe, his eyes stopped their wild movement and focused intently on her. She looked at him amazed, then Mulder threw himself against his restraints, the straps tore. Realization dawned on Sam/Phoebe as she backed up and cocked her gun. Mulder threw himself against his restraints again and broke free of the restraints, flinging himself at her as she fired. The bullet grazed his arm and he snatched the gun form her hand and pistol whipped her till her face was a bloody pulp. "Bye Sis!" He said as he bust through the door and headed for the exit, shooting anyone who got in his way. He ran towards the woods screaming for the one person who could help him regain some shred of sanity. "A deadly mental patient is on the loose after beating his doctor to death and killing three is a daring escape form Boundaries Mental Hospital in Northern VA. No details as to the patients identity. He is to be considered armed and dangerous." Scully watched the news program and dialed Skinner immediately. "Did you see it?" "Yes you think its Mulder?" "I know it is. I need to get up there as soon as possible. They're going to be doing a shoot first ask later if I don't." Woods outside of Boundaries "He was last seen in these woods, he reportedly hasn't left them. He's armed Agent Scully, are you sure . . ." "Positive. He's not to be harmed. He has a severe mental illness and was tortured continually for who knows how long. He needs treatment not a bullet in the head. Twenty minutes then your men are to sweep the area." "Twenty minutes Agent Scully." Scully walked into the woods, her flashlight blazing. "Mulder! Mulder! It's me Scully! Mulder! Come out I'm going to take you home!" She's lying, it's not her, Yes it is no its not yes it is!, the voices in Mulder's head screamed. "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Mulder screamed "Stop talking it hurts!!!" Scully ran in the direction of the screams to find him huddled in a small cave. He was shivering and wet, the gun clenched tightly in his right hand. "Mulder?" Mulder looked up quickly, his eyes darting wildly, he was twitching and muttering to himself. "Mulder?" He looked at her again and laughed sharply, stopping suddenly. "Hey baby, come on. Let's go home. I missed you , princess is worried out of her mind about you." "Princess? She's alive?" he aid softly "Yes she is, she misses you, so do I. Come on Mulder, drop the gun and let's get out of her. Let's go home. I won't let them hurt you anymore." Mulder dropped the gun and rose slowly reaching for Scully's hand. She clasped his firmly in hers and pulled him into a fierce hug, before leading him out of the woods. The other officers stared at Mulder in amazement. "That's him?" "Man he's screwed up looking what were they doing to him in there?" Psyche ward Mercy general 9 am. "He's severely dehydrated, we're pumping him with fluids now." Scully looked at the near catatonic Mulder laying in the hospital bed, his eyes wide open yet unseeing, hardly blinking them. His eyes were black, no hint of there hazel color. "What did you give him?" "A sedative, we can't give him any anti-psychotics till he's rehydrated. He was throwing himself around, slamming into walls, he sprained some of his fingers. He was attacking whoever came in. Once he's rehydrated we can start him on Risperdal." "What? What happened to Thorazine?" "After the kind of severe break he had, I don't think the Thorazine will be as affective. Risperdal is stronger, it should get him stable quicker." "What if he stays like that? Catatonic, what then?" "Then we wait till he snaps back. This is a very delicate process. It would help me to know the duration and extent of the torture he endured" "I'm working on that." Scully said answering her cell phone. "Agent Scully?" "Yes?" "Lt. Peters, we are in the room Fox Mulder broke free form and well . . . you have to se it to believe it. I think I would have gone crazy too." "Ok I'll be right there." Turning to the doctor "Well I think someone heard you, I'm going down to see what they were doing to him. I have my pager and cell on if you need me." "It seems like he was strapped to the chair and this was playing." Lt. Peters turned on the music and the film. "Oh boy!" "My thoughts exactly, from what I gathered, he had around 36 hours of this and when ever he close his eyes he got a nice jolt of electricity to bolt him awake." "My poor G-man." Scully said softly, " Thank you Lt. Peters." "How is he?" Peters asked concerned "He's as good as can be expected. It's going to be sometime before he's stable again." "I'm sorry, I hope he gets better." "Yeah, you and me both." 4 days later " Mulder laid on his bed and waited. She should be here soon then I'll be safe. She's bringing Princess. 'why would she come back of you? She's going to let you rot in here you freak!' 'Yeah you freak you slept with your sister! You sick punk!' A piercing scream interrupted the quiet of the floor as Mulder ran from his room, blood running down his arm from his pulled IV line. Nurses and doctors ran after him dog piling him. He slid to a stop against the wall rising to a sitting position and punching wildly. "Hold him down hold him! Oomph!" A doctor said as he got a right hook to the jaw. "Grab him, get a towel or something over the IV site!" Scully came through the door and froze when she saw a bloody Mulder break free of the dog pile and run towards her. "Scully help!" he screamed as a nurse took a flying leap and tackled Mulder, grabbing him by the waist and bringing him down. He slid to a halt at Scully's feet. "Got him!" "What happened?" Scully asked "Get the Fuck off me bitch!" "Mulder! Stop right now!" Mulder looked at Scully blankly, blinking a few times to clear his head. "Mulder? You're bleeding." Scully said covering the hole the IV left in his arm. "Apologize to Karen for cursing at her." Mulder apologized softly, as Scully led him back to his room. She turned to Karen and asked "I thought he was tied down?" "He was, Oh!" Karen said when she saw the mangled bed. "Great! Mulder sit right here. They're going to need to stitch you up ok?" Mulder nodded then asked "Where's Princess?" "At the nurses station." "His Risperdal was almost done too, he should have been calm." Dr. Harris walked in, his mouth open wide in shock "Dr. Harris hello! Nice way to meet again huh?" "I hear Mr. Mulder had a bit of a reaction." "A bit??! He broke! You see all that blood our there?!" the doctor who was hit earlier said angrily. "Bobby calm down! I'll take it for here. It was an obvious reaction to the Risperdal. We need to switch him back to his Thorazine highest dosage." Bobby nodded and left quickly with the new order. "We'll inject him with it, no IV." he told Karen. She nodded and looked at Mulder concerned. "You want something to drink Mulder?" He looked up at her and nodded yes with a smile "Ok," then to the doctor, "he looks pale." "I know, the Risperdal was way too much for his system. Dr. Scully?" "Yes?" "If it's possible could you stay over night with him?" "Of course I had gotten permission to bring his dog on the floor. . " "That's fine, it may help. We'll take later Dr. Scully." Next morning Karen came in tentatively with his morning injection of Thorazine. He had been up most of the night screaming and howling as the rest of the Risperdal came out of his system. She smiled softly at the scene before her, his dog sprawled along one side of him, Dr. Scully's head resting on his other side, the rest of her in a chair, his hand played lightly in her hair. "Mr. Mulder? Mulder sweetie? I need to give you your shot." Mulder nodded and held still while she injected him "There, all done." Mulder suddenly leaned over and kissed Scully sweetly on the cheek and whispered 'I love you' then sitting back smiling. "Well you're feeling better." Mulder smiled at Karen "Of course, I got my two favorite girls here, well 3." He said waggling his eyebrows at her. Karen rolled her eyes and laughed. "The rate your coming back in here you'd think I was." "I'm not coming back anymore." "Promise?" Mulder nodded. "I'm going to hold you to that darling. Breakfast is here eat up. If you're good you can probably go home in two days ok?" Mulder nodded and uncovered his food, frowning "UGH!" "I know just try and eat it though. I'll see you later." 3 days later Mulder and Scully's house. "2 p.m. nap time." Mulder said as he walked in the door. "Okay take your meds first. Remember every 8 hours instead of 4. Let me set your watch." Mulder held out his arm for her. He touched her cheek lightly and smiled at her "There done." "I love you Scully." "I love you too Mulder." "Come take a nap with me." "Mulder you know Dr. Harris said . . ." "I didn't say that I said take a nap with me. Please." Scully looked at him for a second and softened grabbing his hand and following him to their bedroom. She laid on the bed and he cradled into her chest, closing his eyes, letting the sounds of her heartbeats and breaths soothe away the demons of the day. Schizophrenia, severe mental illness characterized by a variety of symptoms, including loss of contact with reality, bizarre behavior, disorganized thinking and speech, decreased emotional expressiveness, and social withdrawal. Usually only some of these symptoms occur in any one person. The term schizophrenia comes from Greek words meaning "split mind." However, contrary to common belief, schizophrenia does not refer to a person with a split personality or multiple personality. (For a description of a mental illness in which a person has multiple personalities, see Dissociative Identity Disorder.) To observers, schizophrenia may seem like madness or insanity. Perhaps more than any other mental illness, schizophrenia has a debilitating effect on the lives of the people who suffer from it. A person with schizophrenia may have difficulty telling the difference between real and unreal experiences, logical and illogical thoughts, or appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Schizophrenia seriously impairs a person's ability to work, go to school, enjoy relationships with others, or take care of oneself. In addition, people with schizophrenia frequently require hospitalization because they pose a danger to themselves. About 10 percent of people with schizophrenia commit suicide, and many others attempt suicide. Once people develop schizophrenia, they usually suffer from the illness for the rest of their lives. Although there is no cure, treatment can help many people with schizophrenia lead productive lives. Schizophrenia also carries an enormous cost to society. People with schizophrenia occupy about one-third of all beds in psychiatric hospitals in the United States. In addition, people with schizophrenia account for at least 10 percent of the homeless population in the United States (see Homelessness). The National Institute of Mental Health has estimated that schizophrenia costs the United States tens of billions of dollars each year in direct treatment, social services, and lost productivity. Prevalence Approximately 1 percent of people develop schizophrenia at some time during their lives. Experts estimate that about 1.8 million people in the United States have schizophrenia. The prevalence of schizophrenia is the same regardless of gender, race, and culture. Although women are just as likely as men to develop schizophrenia, women tend to experience the illness less severely, with fewer hospitalizations and better social functioning in the community. Symptoms Schizophrenia usually develops in late adolescence or early adulthood, between the ages of 15 and 30. Much less commonly, schizophrenia develops later in life. The illness may begin abruptly, but it usually develops slowly over months or years. Mental health professionals diagnose schizophrenia based on an interview with the patient in which they determine whether the person has experienced specific symptoms of the illness. Symptoms and functioning in people with schizophrenia tend to vary over time, sometimes worsening and other times improving. For many patients the symptoms gradually become less severe as they grow older. About 25 percent of people with schizophrenia become symptom-free later in their lives. A variety of symptoms characterize schizophrenia. The most prominent include symptoms of psychosis such as delusions and hallucinations as well as bizarre behavior, strange movements, and disorganized thinking and speech. Many people with schizophrenia do not recognize that their mental functioning is disturbed. Delusions Delusions are false beliefs that appear obviously untrue to other people. For example, a person with schizophrenia may believe that he is the king of England when he is not. People with schizophrenia may have delusions that others, such as the police or the FBI, are plotting against them or spying on them. They may believe that aliens are controlling their thoughts or that their own thoughts are being broadcast to the world so that other people can hear them. Hallucinations People with schizophrenia may also experience hallucinations (false sensory perceptions). People with hallucinations see, hear, smell, feel, or taste things that are not really there. Auditory hallucinations, such as hearing voices when no one else is around, are especially common in schizophrenia. These hallucinations may include two or more voices conversing with each other, voices that continually comment on the person's life, or voices that command the person to do something. Bizarre Behavior People with schizophrenia often behave bizarrely. They may talk to themselves, walk backward, laugh suddenly without explanation, make funny faces, or masturbate in public. In rare cases, they maintain a rigid, bizarre pose for hours on end. Alternately, they may engage in constant random or repetitive movements. Disorganized Thinking and Speech People with schizophrenia sometimes talk in incoherent or nonsensical ways, which suggests confused or disorganized thinking. In conversation they may jump from topic to topic or string together loosely associated phrases. They may combine words and phrases in meaningless ways or make up new words. In addition, they may show poverty of speech, in which they talk less and more slowly than other people, fail to answer questions or reply only briefly, or suddenly stop talking in the middle of speech. Social Withdrawal Another common characteristic of schizophrenia is social withdrawal. People with schizophrenia may avoid others or act as though others do not exist. They often show decreased emotional expressiveness. For example, they may talk in a low, monotonous voice, avoid eye contact with others, and display a blank facial expression. They may also have difficulties experiencing pleasure and may lack interest in participating in activities. Other Symptoms Other symptoms of schizophrenia include difficulties with memory, attention span, abstract thinking, and planning ahead. People with schizophrenia commonly have problems with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. In addition, people with schizophrenia are much more likely to abuse or become dependent upon drugs or alcohol than other people. The use of alcohol and drugs often worsens the symptoms of schizophrenia, resulting in relapses and hospitalizations. Causes Schizophrenia appears to result not from a single cause, but from a variety of factors. Most scientists believe that schizophrenia is a biological disease caused by genetic factors, an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, structural brain abnormalities, or abnormalities in the prenatal environment. In addition, stressful life events may contribute to the development of schizophrenia in those who are predisposed to the illness. Genetic Factors Research suggests that the genes one inherits strongly influence one's risk of developing schizophrenia. Studies of families have shown that the more closely one is related to someone with schizophrenia, the greater the risk one has of developing the illness. For example, the children of one parent with schizophrenia have about a 13 percent chance of developing the illness, and children of two parents with schizophrenia have about a 46 percent chance of eventually developing schizophrenia. This increased risk occurs even when such children are adopted and raised by mentally healthy parents. In comparison, children in the general population have only about a 1 percent chance of developing schizophrenia. Chemical Imbalance Some evidence suggests that schizophrenia may result from an imbalance of chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. These chemicals enable neurons (brain cells) to communicate with each other. Some scientists suggest that schizophrenia results from excess activity of the neurotransmitter dopamine in certain parts of the brain or from an abnormal sensitivity to dopamine. Support for this hypothesis comes from antipsychotic drugs, which reduce psychotic symptoms in schizophrenia by blocking brain receptors for dopamine. In addition, amphetamines, which increase dopamine activity, intensify psychotic symptoms in people with schizophrenia. Despite these findings, many experts believe that excess dopamine activity alone cannot account for schizophrenia. Other neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, may play important roles as well. Structural Brain Abnormalities Brain imaging techniques, such as magnetic resonance imaging and positron-emission tomography, have led researchers to discover specific structural abnormalities in the brains of people with schizophrenia. For example, people with chronic schizophrenia tend to have enlarged brain ventricles (cavities in the brain that contain cerebrospinal fluid). They also have a smaller overall volume of brain tissue compared to mentally healthy people. Other people with schizophrenia show abnormally low activity in the frontal lobe of the brain, which governs abstract thought, planning, and judgment. Research has identified possible abnormalities in many other parts of the brain, including the temporal lobes, basal ganglia, thalamus, hippocampus, and superior temporal gyrus. These defects may partially explain the abnormal thoughts, perceptions, and behaviors that characterize schizophrenia. Prenatal Factors Evidence suggests that factors in the prenatal environment can increase the risk of a person later developing schizophrenia. For example, pregnant women who have been exposed to the influenza virus or who have poor nutrition have a slightly increased chance of giving birth to a child who later develops schizophrenia. Stressful Events Although scientists favor a biological cause of schizophrenia, stress in the environment may affect the onset and course of the illness. Stressful life circumstances such as the death of a loved one, an important change in jobs or relationships, or chronic tension and hostility at home can increase the chances of schizophrenia in a person biologically predisposed to the disease. In addition, stressful events can trigger a relapse of symptoms in a person who already has the illness. Individuals who have effective skills for managing stress may be less susceptible to its negative effects. Treatment Although there is no cure for schizophrenia, effective treatment exists that can improve the long-term course of the illness. Most physicians use antipsychotic drugs (also called neuroleptics) to treat people with schizophrenia. Skills training and rehabilitation programs may also help people with this illness function in the community. Antipsychotic Drugs Antipsychotic medications, discovered in the mid-1950s, can dramatically improve the quality of life for people with schizophrenia. The drugs reduce or eliminate psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions. The medications can also help prevent these symptoms from returning. Common antipsychotic drugs include haloperidol (Haldol), risperidone (Risperdal), olanzapine (Zyprexa), thioridazine (Mellaril), clozapine (Clozaril), chlorpromazine (Thorazine), fluphenazine (Prolixin), and trifluoperazine (Stelazine). People with schizophrenia usually must take medication for the rest of their lives to control psychotic symptoms. Antipsychotic medications appear to be less effective at treating other symptoms of schizophrenia, such as social withdrawal and apathy. Antipsychotic drugs help reduce symptoms in 80 to 90 percent of people with schizophrenia. However, those who benefit often stop taking medication because they do not understand that they are ill or because of unpleasant side effects. Minor side effects include dry mouth, blurred vision, constipation, dizziness, and drowsiness. Other side effects are more serious and debilitating. These may include muscle spasms or cramps, tremors, and tardive dyskinesia, an irreversible condition marked by uncontrollable movements of the lips, mouth, and tongue. Newer drugs, such as clozapine, olanzapine, and risperidone, produce fewer of these side effects. However, clozapine can cause agranulocytosis, a sometimes fatal blood disease. For this reason, people taking clozapine must have weekly tests to monitor their blood. Skills Training and Rehabilitation Because many patients with schizophrenia continue to experience difficulties despite taking medication, other types of treatment are often necessary. Social skills training helps people with schizophrenia learn specific behaviors for functioning in society such as making friends, purchasing items at a store, or initiating conversations. Behavioral training methods can also help them learn self-care skills such as personal hygiene, money management, and proper nutrition. Family intervention programs can also benefit people with schizophrenia. These programs focus on helping family members understand the nature and treatment of schizophrenia, how to monitor the illness, and how to create a low-stress environment that helps patients make progress towards greater independence. Because many patients have difficulty obtaining or keeping jobs, employment programs that help patients find and maintain jobs are a helpful part of rehabilitation. Despite the severity of schizophrenia, treatment that combines medication and rehabilitation can improve the long-term prospects for people with this mental illness. Related Disorders Several other psychiatric disorders are closely related to schizophrenia. In schizoaffective disorder, a person shows symptoms of schizophrenia combined with either mania or severe depression. Schizophreniform disorder refers to an illness in which a person experiences schizophrenic symptoms for more than one month but fewer than six months. In schizotypal personality disorder, a person engages in odd thinking, speech, and behavior, but usually does not lose contact with reality (see Personality Disorders). Sometimes mental health professionals refer to these disorders together as schizophrenia-spectrum disorders.