TITLE: YOUR MAMA DON'T DANCE AUTHOR: JACQUIE LAVA RATING: NC-17 CATEGORY: MSR SPOILERS: NONE. Summary: Moose and Squirrel DON'T get out of the car. Not this time! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "We're going WHERE? And to do WHAT?" "Churchville, Maryland. About seventy miles from here. To the Churchville Drive-In." "A drive-in. What, like Sonic or A&W?" "Um, no. Actually... more like drive-in movie-type drive-in." "Let me attempt to understand you, Mulder. This is the first free night we've had in several months, free inasmuch as you're not working late, and I'm not dealing with a teething child or incredibly boring field reports from Omaha. You promised me dinner at a nice place and some great entertainment afterwards. I even dressed up for it. And now I discover I am being taken to Churchville, Maryland, of all places... to sit in a goddamn vehicle and watch... exactly WHAT are we watching, anyhow? If I may be so bold as to inquire?" "Um... there IS a cafe at the drive-in, Scully - and they have great burgers..." "Just give me a straight answer, please. What's the flick at this drive-in?" "Well... it's actually, uh, three flicks. Three classics... 'Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman', 'Dr. Cyclops'... and 'Plan Nine From Outer Space', all of which are -" "Shut. Up. Mulder. And know this very well... I am going to KILL you, when we get home tonight. Do you comprehend? Kill. You." *************** Looking back on it I suppose I scared the crap out of Mulder, because that was one damn silent drive all the way to Churchville, Maryland. I hadn't been that angry in a long time. I sat, stiff as a board in my seat, arms crossed in front of me, refusing to say a word - unwilling to even look at him. I had such hopes for the evening, as well - we'd had it planned for a week, that Mom would take Will for the night and we'd go out somewhere nice, as I'd said. I had been thinking maybe that new lobster place over in Annandale; I'd heard it was excellent. Just somewhere besides my kitchen, that was all... Well, I definitely got away from the kitchen... but Mulder is no less dead. I do not make idle threats, and he knows it. He'll worry about it, too - which is of course my intent. Be afraid, Sweetheart... be very afraid. I wore a new outfit I'd just bought at Talbot's, a simple yet expensive little silk tank and matching ankle-length skirt in a soft sage green. I'd let my hair go curly and a little wild, dashed on a heavier amount of perfume and had fussed a bit more with my makeup. I'd even painted my toenails a shade of green that matched the blasted outfit. And I wore strappy little sandals to complete the ensemble and showcase my cute green toenails. Quite a difference from my usual wardrobe of baggy shirts and jeans, ornamented with streaks of baby cereal, milk or Willy-spittle. Well, it had been a while, as I'd said. I was excited. I wanted to be a woman that evening. I've been mommy for months and I truly adore that role. But to be the woman on the arm of a damn good- looking man... that's what I wanted. What I got was something else. ***************** "Scully. Aren't you going to talk to me? You can't stay mad forever. Look, I really thought you'd get a kick out of this. I mean, drive-ins are classic! A true slice of Americana. We can go to a fancy restaurant any time - but this drive-in is one of the few still open - and after tomorrow night it's closing down, forever. I just thought it would be fun to re-live a bit of our youth, and watch some great old flicks - and spend some quality time, together." "Mulder, don't even get me started. You had to know what I was expecting, this evening. You had to know it did not revolve around greasy french fries and Ed Wood. I expected a real dinner served on real plates eaten with real silverware and a real napkin to lay over my lap. I expected an extensive wine list. I expected Bananas Foster for dessert." "The cafe has great malteds, Scully - and those Dum Dum ice cream cones you like so much..." "Tofutti, Partner - and you don't EVEN want to go there either, trust me. You don't." *************** He was right. I couldn't stay mad at him forever. And of course, I didn't. However, my anger had a fine edge to it most of those seventy miles or so, up to this Churchville place. Aside from one further attempt to get me talking - met with my best frown and monotone reply made in one syllable - Mulder had more or less given up, and the rest of the trip was made in silence. To give him credit he did ask me if I wanted him to turn back to DC. To debit from that credit however, he didn't think to ask me until we were within twenty miles of the drive- in and the greasy fries and Ed Wood. As there would have been little point - and as I was already beginning to cool off at that 'little' point - I had merely shaken my head, and resumed staring out the window. Mulder sighed and said no more. Two miles from the turn off to the drive-in he finally spoke again. "Scully... I'm sorry about all of this, really I am. And I never told you how beautiful you look. I feel like an utter shit -" "Good." He blinked in confusion, actually slowing down to under the speed limit as he digested my retort. "Good? You're glad I feel like an utter shit?" "Yes, I am. Every once in a while a person should feel like an utter shit, Mulder. It keeps them honest, you know? Humble, too." "I thought I had you to keep me honest, baby." "Well, you do. And I usually do, as well. Turn here, Mulder - I think we have arrived." The gaudy billboard on the side of the road proclaimed that yes, we had arrived at the "Triple-Sci-Fi Madness" weekend at the Churchville Drive-in... Pass the greasy Ed Wood and the fries, please. Or was that the other way around? Didn't matter - because suddenly a flood of drive- in-date-type memories were coming back to me as I stared at the grounds of the theater - and I remembered why I had loved drive-ins so much when I was in high school - And I knew there was no way in hell that Mulder and I were going to watch any of those classic Sci-Fi masterpieces. Of course, Mulder didn't know it - But he would. Very soon. ******************* "No, don't park there, Mulder." "Don't you want to be closer to the cafe?" "No." "Well, what about the rest rooms? Don't you want to be nearer to the ladies room? In case, you know - you have to go, in a hurry - women always seem to have to do that..." "No. I've seen what constitutes the 'Ladies' room in a drive-in, Mulder - and I'd rather hang my ass out the window and pee on the speaker instead of using that disgusting facility." "Pee on the - why do I have a feeling you're going to be protesting this triple feature with bodily fluids, Scully?" "Gee, I don't know... perhaps because I wanted to go out for a normal night on the town, and instead find myself preparing to face down Ed Wood?" "You keep mentioning his name... and this IS normal for me, baby - you forget so soon that you're shacked up with 'Spooky-Boy'?" "Oh, I know exactly who I'm shacked up with... over there. Park over there, Mulder." "But that's the last row! We're away from everything!" "Exactly..." ******************** I could not believe the man was so dense. What had happened to my partner's needle-sharp profiling skills? His 'never-fail' intuition? Or just good old American-Male horniness? Well, actually I did know. This was the first time in a long while that we'd fought or even disagreed about something. Up until now all of our energy had been used for the good of the family - namely, ours. It took a lot of daily compromise to keep it going, especially with Will. In our desire to create the right atmosphere for our child, we'd found a way to keep everything in tight harmonious balance and we liked it so much that neither of us had done a thing to upset the applecart, in quite a while. Of the two of us Mulder was always the one that worried about being worthy of the good things in his life - there had been so few, he wasn't used to it. Of course the first roughness in that smooth wheel would be picked up, gnawed on and agonized over. And my silent treatment all the way in from DC hadn't helped, either. I could see it was up to me - to ease his guilt over taking me to Sci-Fi Heaven instead of that four-star lobster-fest in Annandale; to make him understand - and myself to believe as well - that it really didn't matter where we went to be alone with each other. The operative was the 'alone' of it - away from the daily stress of Mommy/Daddy-Biz. Oh, having a child is a wonderful joy, of course. But as I'd already mentioned, once in a while it's nice to remember that Mommy and Daddy are also Woman and Man - in love and hot for each other's bods. Next time our 'date' would be in one damned expensive restaurant, better believe it. But, for now... ***************** "Here's the speak... what're you doing?" "What do you think I'm doing, Mulder?" "Well, I think you're taking off your top. I guess I'm wondering why." "Why do YOU think I'm taking it off, Mulder?" "I'm not sure, unless you - oh, Jesus - please don't tell me I'm that dense. Please don't tell me my days as a suave lady-killer are over, when I can't even tell anymore that my woman's coming on to me..." "Well, I wouldn't say your days are over, Mulder - I'd say that you, like me, have been parenting a little too hard. That's why I'd suggested we go out on a date, have a romantic evening to ourselves -" "And I ruined it by thinking up this asinine triple Sci-Fi drive-in thing, GOD, Scully - you must be just about ready to wring my neck!" "Well, not your neck, exactly - and certainly not wring. More like a stroke - and maybe a squeeze - and perhaps some thumb action, like this..." "Ohhhhh, God, baby..." ******************* I think I managed to convince Mulder I'd forgotten all about my desire to eat Bananas Foster off a real plate and wipe my mouth on a real napkin. In the last row of the Chruchville Drive-in - in the darkest corner of that final row - I peeled off my tank and my bra and tossed them up on the dashboard. I unbuckled Mulder's seat belt with one hand and reached for the zipper of his slacks with the other - just as he pressed the seat adjuster and lowered himself to a horizontal position. You know, I really like my man horizontal... I knelt in my seat and encouraged him to unbutton the skirt, enough to get it down over my hips, after which Mulder needed no further encouragement whatsoever; I do believe that missing American-Male horniness came back, with some to spare. The skirt landed in the back seat, where I suddenly realized we probably should be - it was a little more private. When I moaned this suggestion in Mulder's ear he nodded, and in two seconds flat we were in a much better position to continue. Boy, were we ever. And thank God for GMC Envoys... they have a great rear area. Mulder made quick work of stripping down to bare skin; I lay back on the seat and watched. I think the only thing I liked better than undressing him was watching him tear off his clothes in an absolute frenzy; as I watched I could feel myself tightening, growing wetter inside, my walls actually swelling. A few seconds later he was covering me, all that hot smooth skin rubbing over mine. Mmmmm. Legs tangling and arms clasping, hands clenching - lips kissing wildly. I wanted to eat him alive. Wanted to take him inside of me in so many more ways than the obvious... I needed this. WE needed this - Let's face it, parenting and crazed sex during the first year of a baby's life don't always go hand in hand, as Mulder and I had discovered. One of us was always exhausted and the other got up several times a night to tend Will. In that respect we were fairly interchangeable and consequently it had been well over a month since either of us had gotten a good night's sleep... or uninterrupted lovemaking. However, that's what dating is all about... not the sleep, obviously - but the other thing I mentioned. 'Back-seat-baby-making', we used to call it in high school. Sex in a car. Forbidden and naughty and dangerously chance-taking if you were caught - and all of those feelings came rushing back to me as we tussled in our own back seat. I couldn't get enough of Mulder's mouth and his tongue. I bit his lips and he groaned and bit me back. I scraped eager fingers down his chest faster than lightning, grasped hold of his cock and started pumping it in my palm, loving the way he shuddered against me. When Mulder pushed his own hand between our bodies and sank two fingers deep inside me, I could feel my entire body scream out... Or maybe that was me, screaming for real - it felt so good. Wonderful, heady, what we were doing - where we were doing it. There was a reason drive-ins used to be so popular for so many years... it's what put the 'Boom' in 'Baby-Boomers', I think. Outside the closed-up and steamy windows of our vehicle the muted sounds of people and the current movie on screen barely filtered through to me. I scrambled to my knees and thrust my hips onto Mulder's hand, forcing those fingers deeper, my head pressing into the ceiling of the cabin as I held onto him and gripped harder, pumped faster. So quickly, it had come up on both of us, so quickly... I looked down into my lover's face and whimpered at the dark urgency I saw there, the white clench of his teeth and those eyes glittering up at me. I wanted to tell him how I adored him but could force out nothing more intelligible than wheezing grunts, for which he had a similar response. We must have sounded like a couple of horny chimps because what spilled out of our gasping mouths sure didn't come across as human. I could have fucking cared, right about then... I was preparing to sit on my lover, right over that erection I was manipulating. I was going to take that hard flesh very, very deep... and before I could maneuver into the best position Mulder tugged at me, rasping out a frantic, "Not yet, wait - over me, baby - turn around, and get over me, I want to '69' you..." Oh, yes. My favorite position and lucky number, God... With awkward movements I managed to swing myself around, letting Mulder guide my hips, until he had me where he wanted me. When I felt his mouth move against me I sank down on him and moaned breathlessly at the incomparable feel of his lips and that relentless tongue of his... Lord, it should be illegal for a man to be able to do a woman that way - and I was certain in several states it was... I voiced this in a thin squeak of a gasp and felt him chuckle against my clit, before he opened me up wider and his teeth bit into me. I muffled a scream against his balls, then took him deep into my mouth in retaliation. He bucked up into my face. I rocked my hips in a pulsing downstroke, forcing his tongue to go deeper... he rammed up against me and slipped into my throat. We both groaned... Three strokes later I pulled away from Mulder, hovering on the edge of one hell of an orgasm, determined to have him digging deeply inside me when I let it loose. I had to take several huge breaths to calm myself, enough to let go of him so that I could slip underneath and take him within. I wanted him to crush me on that back seat; wanted that hard body of his to press down on me. Wanted to be overwhelmed... Wanted to be loved madly. Mulder was more than happy to oblige. I opened my legs and he slipped between them; I clamped him in place with eager thighs and arms. We locked mouths together and I hissed my satisfaction onto his tongue when he sent that lovely hard cock of his deep, just the way I'd wanted. My eyes fluttered shut and I met each of his thrusts with a resounding one of my own, knowing we'd both be just about unable to walk upright in the morning, and not giving a good goddamn if it killed me. Nothing could ever make me feel like a woman the way Mulder could, when he made love to me - nothing. At the rate we were ramming against each other it didn't take very long. My heart was pounding so loudly I barely heard myself cry out when my climax hit and sensation exploded over me. I clenched everywhere and sank my teeth into Mulder's neck; he sent a hoarse shout into the humid air over my head and when he shuddered and emptied himself into me, I felt tears flood my eyes. He let his body relax and melt all over mine and I bawled into his neck right over the bite mark I'd left there. It wasn't the first time he'd made me cry during sex, and I knew it wouldn't be the last. But oh, so far in our intimacy it was by far the best... I felt his hands smooth unsteadily over my tangled hair, heard him whisper my name in broken syllables with other words bound through the pieces; words like "Love" and "You're amazing" and "So good, baby"... I smiled and wiped my tears on his collarbone. We were so wrapped up in the moment, so overcome with what we'd made each other feel... that at first we didn't hear the rapping on the fogged up driver's side window. Truthfully I thought it was my heart or maybe his, still pounding... but it wasn't. It was something - rather, someone... else. A cop, to be specific. Pounding on the window, a flashlight in his hand. Jesus Christ and all the Saints... I think Mulder was more shocked than I was; he fell off me and landed on the floor of the Envoy. I scrambled into my wrinkled skirt in record time; it had been on the seat beneath me and was a complete wreck. Didn't matter; I climbed into it and drew the waist up under my arms, until it covered me like a strapless dress. The rapping intensified and Mulder hurriedly rolled down the window about one second before the cop flicked on his flashlight, sending the beam into the cabin but thankfully not in our faces. The cop bent down and peered into the open window, polite enough to concentrate on Mulder and not me, as in a gruff voice he remarked, "Of course, you two have to be old enough to know I could haul you in for public indecency, right?" Mulder cleared his throat, and attempted an intelligent answer. You'll note I said 'attempted'... "Yes, Sir - but you see, this is the first date we've had since our baby was born and I suppose we got a little carried away and, listen - could you shut that light off, please? I'm sorta naked, in here." The cop snorted and left the light on. "Right. Out on a date and just having a great time in the back seat, naked. I suppose you've got the baby back there with you... And I'm sorta not gonna turn the flashlight off quite yet, if that's okay with you - because I think I need to see some identification. NOW." I groaned in complete humiliation and covered my face with my hands, remembering what caliber of identification I'd have to fork over - since I hadn't brought my purse with me and had crammed my badge in the pocket of the skirt I now wore up under my armpits... In that moment I decided I was never going anywhere again without a purse, much as I hated lugging one around. Then I recalled I'd stuck my gun in the glove compartment... Jesus. What the hell had happened to my brain matter this evening? I go out on a much-anticipated date with my partner and my head turns into the sort of oatmeal I feed Will every morning? I couldn't comprehend my own stupidity. Well, maybe he wouldn't ask for my ID; maybe he'd just bother with Mulder's... maybe we wouldn't come across as suspicious at all. Foolish, certainly, but not suspicious. No such luck. As Mulder fumbled for his slacks and dug through his pockets the flashlight bobbed over my face and the cop ordered, "You too, Miss - let's see some ID." Oh, fuck... with trembling hands I managed to pull at my badge until it came out from its armpit pocket; I held it out for the cop to take, just as Mulder handed over his - Badge. Not his driver's license but his FBI badge; the one he'd been ordered to turn in the day he'd given Skinner his resignation... shit. I couldn't believe he had never turned it in. I closed my eyes against the glare of the flashlight as the cop shined it on the badges, one by one. And then I opened them, perversely needing to see his reaction, which hopefully wouldn't be so very bad - Again, no such luck. His jaw dropped as he read them - and he flashed the damn light first into Mulder's poor face, then mine, completely blinding me - and I suppose it was fortunate he'd rendered me temporarily sightless because that saved me from having to see his face break into a wide smile of incredulity. However, my ears were quite unaffected by the flashlight's beam; I could certainly hear him as he next broke into loud guffaws of laughter. A second later the Envoy jostled when he leaned his substantial bulk into it and continued to chortle through his carefully-chosen, official words. "You have GOT to be shitting me. FBI. From DC. In the back seat of a car, naked. Jesus - and here I thought I was gonna bust me a couple of horny teenagers from Churchville Senior High." The cop wiped at his eyes and added, "Now I understand why our nation's capitol saw nothing out of the ordinary with Ole Billy-Goat Clinton!" He slapped his thigh in mirth and continued to laugh; Mulder glanced at me and the look on his face must have matched my own. It said, 'Let's Get the Fuck Out of Here While the Getting's Good'... I sure as hell didn't want to explain ANY of this to Skinner, in the morning or at any other time - especially since I was still on part- time extended family leave and not supposed to be carrying my gun anywhere until I was allowed back on-case. And Mulder... well, let's just say Mulder was in a 'heap o trouble' for never having turned in his goddamn badge... Mulder finally interrupted the cop's hysteria with a mildly polite, "Yes, Sir - you're absolutely right. My partner and I were very stupid to even attempt this out in the public -" That's as far as he got before the cop gaped at him, and interjected in shock. "PARTNERS? You two are FBI partners? Oh, Christ... I don't... well, THAT explains a lot more! And tells me better than anything where my tax dollars are going! Oh, they're gonna LOVE this down at the station!" He straightened up and put a hand on the door, no doubt preparing to jerk it open and drag our nude asses out - I closed my eyes again and groaned in absolute mortification - Which the cop must have overheard, because I could feel him let go of the door handle. I opened one eye to peek and saw him standing there, staring at both of us, before he finally shook his head and flicked off the flashlight. In a stern voice yet still traced with humor he admonished, "I'm gonna let you two off the hook. This time. Hell, I remember what it's like to have a baby in the house - how old, by the way?" I mumbled a tiny, "Five months", through the hand over my face, and the cop actually nodded in empathy. "Yep, I remember it well! Never got a decent night's sleep, the wife and me - not to mention any decent sex! Guess I can sympathize, I sure can!" He winked at Mulder and got a weak smile in return; I merely stared at him in misery. I couldn't say anything; my voice had dried up - but my mind was plotting Mulder's downfall, big-time. The cop finally, FINALLY backed away from the SUV and with a cautionary, "You folks move along, now", strolled toward the front of the drive-in and presumably his patrol car. But before Mulder could roll up the window, we heard the cop whistling a tune - and Mulder recognized it first. He fell back against the seat, laughing out loud. Well, I'd had about all I could handle, of my romantic 'date' with the beloved father of my equally-beloved child... I sat up, yanked my skirt into place and punched Mulder in the arm, demanding, "WHAT? What's so damn funny?" Mulder knuckled the laughter out of his damp eyes and replied, "That tune he was whistling; didn't you recognize it?" At the negative shake of my head, Mulder leaned in and kissed my mouth very sweetly, then stayed close and sang it into my ear. "You pull into a drive-in and find a place to park You hop into the back seat where you know it's nice and dark You're just about to move and you're thinking it's a breeze There's a light in your eye and then a guy says, "OUTTA THE CAR, LONG HAIR!" Ooowwee, "You're comin' with me!" Says the local Po-Lice..." Oh, God... I could feel this huge smile wreath my face, as I listened to Mulder sing - and I supplied the next verse in my off-key alto, barely holding back the giggles. "And it's all because your Mama don't dance And your Daddy don't rock and roll..." ****************** "Oh, but they did, Mulder." "Who? Did what, baby?" I grinned in the darkness and kept my eyes on the road as I curved a hand over Mulder's thigh and squeezed lightly. We were almost home... "My mama. She danced. And my daddy definitely rocked, and rolled... how else do you think Bill Jr. came along only seven months after their wedding day?" I looked over at Mulder and in the glow of the dash lights could see his jaw unhinge as he digested that bit of Scully family lore. "You're kidding. Maggie Scully, walking down the aisle with a Billy in the oven?" I was laughing too hard at the shock in his voice to feel ire over the unbidden image of my mother wearing a maternity wedding gown; of course I'd seen their wedding album. She hadn't been showing, yet... and she'd worn white. I smiled delightedly. "Yes. I kid you not. Of course, the rest of the family thought Bill was premature. I ask you to consider my brother's sheer body mass and tell me if that speaks of a preemie..." I chuckled along with Mulder, before adding, "Anyhow we kids knew the truth. My mother was a good Catholic girl, Mulder - but she fell hard when she fell in love - and there wasn't a way in heaven she wasn't going to 'dance' with Ahab, once she knew her own heart." Mulder laced his fingers through the hand I had placed on his thigh. "Another happy Scully memory, I can tell. I guess I know which Scully you take after, baby..." I nodded, and pressed his hand tightly. "Yes, indeed... I'd say both of them. I dance. I rock. I roll..." "WE roll, baby. We sure as hell rock and roll, big-time - and I'll dance with you, forever. Better believe it." "Oh, I believe, Mulder. I surely do." end NOTES: Don't ya just LOVE drive-ins! They are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. As many as there used to be, back when I used to go on Friday nights... so many are closing down. However, the Churchville Drive-in is very much a real place, and hopefully it won't close down any time soon, contrary to the plot of this story. The song is "Your Mama Don't Dance", by Loggins and Messina. If you were a child of the Seventies, you'll remember it, I am sure.